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Contributors Say Ed Says

August 20, 2013

Doesn't Intend to Get In

Hi Ed -

a friend of mine would like to attend and sent me the email below. Can you give him a discount? He would one of the people in the [City] tribe if I could get it started.

This response was after I asked him a question about why he was not able to get into trades.

---

1. I don't pull the trade because I'm scared of losing money, and of not winning (i.e. losing as a personal loss vs a financial one)

2. I do want to attend Ed's session, as you recommend. Would you mind emailing him to find out if they'll offer a companion discount, or at least, let me pay the graduate rate? Sometimes they'll discount empty seats:

Hmmm ... Your friend might not able to get in to this one either.


Ready, Aim, Aim, Aim ...

and then get the feeling
of missing out.

http://www.mylespaul.com/forums/backstage/
216982-ready-aim-fire-old-toy-content.html

Aug 19, 2013

Summary of Meeting : Sex and Money

Ed,

I asked to meet with Ed, without fully understanding why I wanted to, only that we had talked before and he had a profound impact on my life and I was looking for something like that again.

Ed started off by asking what my problem was, too many women or too much money.

I responded by saying to many women and too little money. We then proceeded to talk about what I did for a living, which was being an exotic dancer/stripper.

I should have been making plenty of money as we figured I got paid $20 for a 4-minute dance, which comes out to around $300 an hour. Of course demand doesn't always meet supply but that's another issue.

The problem is I have an emotional hang up about the job.

We talked about what the problem was, because I was providing a service just like in any other industry and was paid for it. We had a pretty extensive conversation about all of my hang ups in the industry and the main one was talking to women that seemed to put all of their bad energy into me.

I talked about how I wasn't satisfied with what I was doing at all and Ed said job satisfaction was about how I performed the job, not the job itself. I made a commitment to Ed to do the best job I could for one week. To try to make the women happier than ever, or listen to all of their problems and do the absolute best job I could.

I start my week on Wednesdays working at the club, so I went in with a really good attitude and trying to do the absolute best job I could. Now before I recount the week, I must say it was the worst week we've had at the club in over a Year.

Wednesday I left making a total of $34. No matter how good of a job I was trying to do there were hardly any girls in the club so no demand. Thursday I left making $6. Friday I left with $18. Saturday was one of the other dancers birthday, and we always tip them $100 on stage on their birthday so after giving him $100 I ended up leaving the club making a grand total of $4. Sunday I had a customer come in and she gave me a small amount of money so I ended up leaving with approximately $100. That brought my grand total for the week to $162. This was the week that I was doing my best, and trying my hardest to be a good influence on the people that came to see me.

In the talk that we had, something kept recurring to me the entire week and that's when Ed said-sometimes you have to let go of something to move onto something else. I couldn't get it out of my head. I'm not sure if he intended it or not but it became insidious to my thoughts and I couldn't let it go.

So Sunday I quit the club and exited my life as a stripper. I came to a meeting not knowing what I was looking for and think I came out not knowing what I found but that I definitely found something.

Thank you for sharing your process.



Right Livelihood

has less to do with
the nature of the work

and more to do with
what you bring to the work.

http://whoore.com/orgypass/drunkparty girlsonline/
image12.jpg

Aug 19, 2013

Bliss Function Data for EMA Crossover System

Hey Ed,

I'm in the process of compiling bliss function data for the expanded EMA crossover system that includes shorts, however I would like to make sure I am getting the right numbers for the original system to help confirm my results, so I was curious if you could possibly send me the file of your "Bliss function vs Slow Lag and Fast Lag" since I am having a hard time reading the actual numbers from the picture you posted on your website due to the resolution being a little low.

Thanks,

Thank you for raising this issue.

I can see the numbers OK on my monitor.

http://www.seykota.com/tribe/TSP/EA/index.htm

Mon, Aug 19, 2013

Have More Sex, Make More Money

Ed,

Employees that have sex more than four times a week receive 5% higher wages, according to a new study. Sexually active people may exhibit more attributes that are prized in the workplace, experts say.

Money can't buy you love, but a new study suggests lovemaking can earn you money – and not just if you're employed in the red light district.

http://on.wsj.com/1d0fgoJ

Thank you for sharing the link.

Aug 18, 2013

TTP Report : Deeper Connections

Dear Ed:

I missed this week's meeting due to my 22nd wedding anniversary. Our day went really well.

In addition, I had unexpected quick profits in a Gold Trade which more than paid for my wife's shopping.

I have noticed a co-relationship between my falling asleep when dealing with emotional issues and eating. Eating and being overweight makes it easier to fall asleep. I resolve to eat less and stay more awake.

I am organizing a college reunion. We exchange and debate more mental concepts and no feelings. The reunion is about solving the worlds problems through pure discussion. I am ok with that - what else could I expect from a bunch of engineers!

I read the post about the Day Trader a few weeks ago. Shockingly I identified with many items in the post.

I remember when I was a Day Trader. I used to be so tired that I needed a massage at least once a week. I could not understand why I could not follow my trading rules and why I would make impulse decisions. Then I saw that my body was signalling that it could not handle the computational and emotional requirements of a day Trader.

I saw Day Trading for me was about craving excitement. Clearly mathematically Day Trading has worse odds as trading expenses are a higher % of the profits and the probability of making trading errors increases.

Now, I know if I miss an entry point, I can relax because chances are that there are enough day traders that will make mistakes and create the patterns that give me additional entry points. I am thankful to have Day Traders because without them our markets would be less liquid and there would be fewer low risk entry points.

My trading is calmer and more profitable. I am less greedy and getting better at entering and exiting trades.

I am thankful to be part of the tribe.

Thank you for sharing your process.

Sun, Aug 18, 2013

Right Livelihood

Hi Ed,

Right now I am still trying to discern my right livelihood from perhaps day-dreaming and / or wishful thinking.

My current livelihood is undoubtedly "a" right livelihood, but not sure if it is "the" right one for me.

The fact that I know I can achieve much more in life lurks in the background, but time is ticking by. It could be that I just need to pursue both simultaneously and see if another path opens up. Any thoughts on hedging your bets?

Very much look forward to working with you when you visit our tribe.

Best,

Thank you for sharing your process.

You might consider taking your feelings about <hedging your bets> to Tribe as an entry point.

Aug 17, 2013

Mr Fix-It

Hi Ed,

You wrote: "I wonder if you can cite an example of "unfixable inefficiency" that bothers you."

One specific example is my wife comes to me with a problem about a guy she has hired to do some engineering work. This guy plays politics and she doesn't like it. She looses sleep over it and I wake up too because she is up at night and stressed.

Its obvious to me this guy should be fired and someone new should replace him. If I was in her place it would have already been done and we both would be sleeping through the night.

I listen for as long as I can, but can't stand it anymore and tell her "this guy is trouble why not just fire him and hire someone new?"

She doesn't like my "unsolicited advice" and she gets angry and tells me to "just listen". I do my best to sit quietly and listen, but eventually I can't take it and I tell her "why are we wasting time on this problem when it could easily be solved?"

I realize now that the real problem here is I don't want to listen to her complain because I don't want to carry the burden of feeling her painful feelings. Instead I want to fix my way out of feeling painful feelings. Fixing things is my solution to painful emotions. When she won't allow me to fix the situation then I'm forced to live with the situation and the feelings that come along with it. This is not enjoyable.

My wife has referred me to this video to help me understand better:)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTqiVOpu5KQ (Preview)

Thank you for sharing your situation.

You might consider taking your feelings about <the burden of carrying other's pain> to Tribe.

The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of confusion or despair, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing ... not healing ... not curing ... that is a friend indeed.

~Henri Nouwen
http://www.recover-from-grief.com/expressing-sympathy.html

 

Aug 17, 2013

System Test Results

Hi Ed,

inspiring by a recent FAQ, here are my results simulating a Long/Short version of the Exponential Average Crossover System, using the same settings as in your original project. Please, let me know if I can contribute in some way to the TSP.

Thank you for sharing your research.

Aug 16, 2013

TTP Report - Running From the Furies

Ed,

At our last Tribe Meeting, we have a very productive and fun meeting, including three hot seat processes.

First, the Process Manager (PM) asks who wants to work. Several people reply. He then asks who has a project or goal they wish to complete, noting you have to have a goal in order to have a problem. After several tries from Members, one Member says he has a goal: he wants to start a fund.

PM asks him to stand up and proclaim that he has a fund. The client, or HS (for hot seat), cannot do that. He seems to choke on the words and go into forms. The Tribe helps him develop his forms and he finds he has a pattern of always doing something else first, before he gets to his goal. In this case, he feels he has to learn programming first.

After some further processing, he finally does stand up and proclaim he has a fund. He reports he also sees he has tons of things to do now that he has a fund. During one of the breaks, another Tribe member gives him a dollar, so now he also has some funds in his fund.

In the second process, another HS says he wants to give up his job in customer relations, where customers yell at him, and start a new career as an animator in a film studio. He gets up and makes the declaration to the Tribe although no one buys his story.

In this case, we trace his history back to angry parenting and accepting a rock that prevents him from following his own dream. We do some role playing and he finally fore-gives the rock. After that, he makes the declaration to the Tribe again. This time he sounds calmer and more sure of himself and the Tribe gets the sense he might actually mean it.

In the third process, HS says he wants more intimacy with his wife. He also reports that he has occasional outbursts of anger and that he destroys things and this scares his wife. Through role playing, we learn he has one rock that responds to things that don't work with getting angry - and another rock that responds to anger at things that don't work with violently destroying things.

At one point in the role playing, we have him trying to establish rapport with his wife, while two of his rock donors scream orders at him to get angry and to start breaking things. He tries to move away and they start chasing him around the room, still screaming at him, totally interfering with his connecting with his wife. At this point, many of the tribe members start cracking up and this adds a bit of levity to this otherwise depressing situation. The metaphor does, however, seem to fit his situation.

HS confesses he has no idea what to do, even with a Heart Rock. PM, sensing he might like a demo of how to implement the Heart Rock, asks one of the other Tribe members to step in as a surrogate HS and show him how to do it.

The surrogate steps in and starts by asking one of the rock donors to let him talk to the other one. Then he turns to the other and establishes rapport by receiving feelings and testing for willingness to receive feelings. After he makes peace with that one and fore-gives the rock, he returns to the other and does the same. After that, he proceeds to establish a connection with his wife.

The Tribe gives the surrogate a round of applause for demonstrating skill in taking a control-centric situation and for bringing intimacy-centric relating into play. Then PM removes the surrogate and puts HS back in the picture. This time HS gets it, fore-gives the rocks and successfully establishes intimate rapport with his wife. More applause follows.

In this series of processes, the Tribe Chief seems to relax and allow others to rotate in and out of roles and even flowing in to managing the processes. In this way, the Tribe instinctively starts operating organically, smoothly and apparently without following any particular set of rules or procedures.

Everyone has enough experience with the formal Rocks Process that no one has to follow an exact template. Rather, the Tribe seems to move forward and get the job done out of some sort of communal intention.

All in all, I'd give this meeting and the Tribe members very high marks for getting a lot done and for having a lot of fun in the process.

Thank you for sharing your process and for documenting how a Tribe can operate organically, on intention.


Husbands Can Have Trouble
connecting with their wives

while running away
from the furies.

http://furies.net/
Aug 16, 2013

Pennance

Dear Ed,

I want to share my experience of our fifth Tribe meeting last night in two parts: first, my own personal process which is mostly not shared with the group. Later I will document my thoughts about the overt processes we are developing in Tribe.

My check-in expresses my feelings of embarrassment, exposure and vulnerability related to the "helping" experience of the previous meeting. Though I report that I am less distressed about making mistakes, I nevertheless have gone to great lengths between meetings to plan how I will do "penance" in front of the group.

As you have forever wedded me to the image of Clarabelle the Clown disrupting solemn chamber music, prior to the Tribe meeting I visit several stores to purchase a clown nose and a honking horn (no seltzer bottle, however). I cannot find a clown nose so I make one myself out of a white plastic ball that I painstakingly color with a red marker.

My original plan is to put on the nose during the initial feelings check-in, to heighten my feelings of embarrassment and exposure. Now I think, "Once again I want to put myself at the center of everyone's attention."

Just before leaving for the Tribe meeting, I read the belated FAQ post from a Tribe member who missed the last meeting, and notice his assessment of my contrived, prefabricated rocks and my inept attempt to express feelings two meetings ago. I feel embarrassed and self-conscious.

I immediately begin to look at my "nose plan" in a more critical light. It feels disrespectful, attention-seeking, and like more of my usual manipulative bullshit. But I still feel like I need to do my penance! I decide to wear my nose during the entire dinner break. (I test out my horn before the meeting and get immediate negative feedback, so the horn goes back in my bag of tricks.)

As the meeting progresses I notice how "under the radar" I am. I do not volunteer for any role plays, especially mothers. The meeting feels very "Ed-centric" at first; I am not the only one who is not jumping in with feelings or reactions as he trolls for hot issues. I feel I am projecting all over the place and completely uncertain of the "rightness" or even "sane-ness" of my feelings and observations.

I do not wear my clown nose during the break.

I relate to the processes that unfold and enjoy how the Tribe seems to flow almost seamlessly. I begin to participate more as we go on and am on the brink of volunteering for the last role-play when another member takes the role.

I end the evening feeling uncertain, and happy with that feeling. Though I obviously continue to do my analysis, by observing and reporting in public I can see a direction to my actions, rather than simply a self-protective and self-justifying repetition of the same security operations over and over again.

I think I'll conclude with a video that helps me feel I am not alone:

http://youtu.be/_R3WVbhSZk0

Best regards,

Thank you for sharing your process.

TTP proceeds by experiment and by trial and error, so your experiment, to provide soothing and comfort to a person in distress, helps everyone see the pros and cons of this type of intervention.

In TTP meetings we do not judge or sentence people.

You might consider taking your feelings about <needing to punish yourself and do penance> to Tribe as an entry point.

Alternatively, and in light of your interest in the markets, you might consider doing some pennants instead.


Pennant Formation

Just a little glitch, and then more same ol' same ol'.

http://www.guerillastocktrading.com/classic-chart-patterns/
Aug 14, 2013

Tribe Directory Update

Dear Emma:

I hope you are well. I am writing this email of my intention not to pursue running a tribe any longer. Please delete newton NJ tribe directory from the TTID.

Please tell Ed I thank you for his support and kindness to welcome in his circle when I was going through treacherous time in my life in 2005 to 2009. Without his support, I would not be around right now.

My father passed away in May this year and somehow Ed reminded of my father, that may be the reason why I got back to TTP, which is selfish on my part.

I regain my strength back and ready to pursue my life with full capacity.

Thank you again for a wonderful journey. It was hard, risky yet fun. With Joyful Heart…

Sincerely,

OK.

Aug 13, 2013

Grof Interview

Ed,

Driving though Oklahoma on the way home from Canada on Sunday I was listening to the public radio station and they were interviewing Stanislav Grof.

It was pretty interesting to hear him speak, and to hear him tell the story of being one of the early LSD researchers, which corresponded to what I thought I knew about it pretty well, which was gratifying. In the broadcast they didn't really talk much about the development of Breathwork as a non-controlled alternative means to get into the altered state, which was interesting in itself.

The extended full interview is available here:

Stanislav Grof on Non-Ordinary Consciousness
http://ttbook.org/book/stanislav-grof-non-ordinary-consciousness

Thank you for sharing your insights and for the link.

Aug 13, 2013

Tribe Meeting Report : Wife Gets Angry

Ed,

First Process - Pre-Fabricated Rocks
Second Process - Seeking Intimacy
Third Process - Out of the Box

In the first process, the tribe member expresses fears of hurting others by her process, she seems to feel that she has an issue which, when expressed, will hurt other members of the tribe and one in particular. She indicates that I am the tribe member she is most worried about hurting. I do not understand why she may feel that she will hurt me in particular, and I wonder what she may think of me that would cause her to worry about hurting me, and since I do not have any knowledge of her outside of our tribe meetings, and cannot recall doing anything to indicate in those meetings that I am vulnerable to being hurt by anything, I wonder if she has developed an opinion of me based on other sources. She also may have an intuitive feeling about it. It causes me wonder. I try to assure her that I am not concerned that she will hurt me or anyone else in her process.

She is prepared to work at this tribe meeting, and to that end has brought along some rocks which she has identified outside of the process, in thinking about her rocks and her rock donors. There is a small, flattish, craggy stone marked up with words signifying things which represent her inner thoughts about others and the world. These are generally uncharitable feelings of others and the world, critical judgements. The second rock is a much larger rock which she says is her way of coping with the negative thoughts and judgements of the first rock, which covers the first rock and suppresses her from expressing the thoughts associated with the first rock, which might be hurtful to others. Her issue is that she wants to be free of the enveloping rock, and free to express the thoughts and feelings that boil and bubble in her conscience wanting to be expressed.

It seems to me that this tribe member, whom I believe is a professional analyst other's psychological states, is not able to let go of her tools of the trade, and she has analyzed herself and has a determined grip on the process so that it doesn't get out of control, because if it gets out of control, she might realize her greatest fear which, she reports, is to say how she really feels.

We do several role playing sessions to try to get her into the feeling of her rocks, but no one buys that she is really feeling it. It goes on a long time.

I get into a process of discussion about my desire to have increased intimacy with my wife which I am having trouble recounting and recalling in detail because it was a rapid back and forth dialog with a person playing the role of my wife and my memory for spoken word conversation is not very good.

The solution proposed seemed to be making a list of things we could do together as a couple - just us two, without the children, which I think that would be a good thing. We used to do a monthly date night but that has fallen away. We have tried praying together but she doesn't feel comfortable doing that.

The episodes where my wife gets really caustic, vitriolic and contemptuous have punctuated our 13 year marriage and we have sought counseling, and participated in couples retreats to address the issue. They make up a very small percentage of our days spent together. I would say 1 in 30. And they blow over like an afternoon thunder squall. But when we are in it, it is really really bad. The foul mode passes and without her ever apologizing, or even acknowledging what happened. When she is not in this mode she is like a different person and there is no active memory or consideration of the feelings she was having during the day or two of vitriol in how she deals with me. In some senses it is like a split personality, but I hesitate to characterize it that way.

No matter how many things we do when she is not in that mode/mood, when she is in it, I get no credit for any of the good things I have done. The focus in those episodes is on my failures and my faults, and a denial of the facts of situations which prove the opposite of what she is saying. Logic and reason doesn't work—the use of those tools invalidates her rage which she wants to express and just infuriates her more. When the storm passes, she is a bright, happy, gregarious, capable and funny woman whom I love dearly. She's gotten her chance to share her feelings, venting like Vesuvius, I get scalded in the fumes and ash and hit with pyroclasts, she withdraws, goes to sleep, wakes up feels better and then it is dropped till the next time the volcano blows. It never gets resolved for good—the volcano just goes dormant for a time.

So the suggestion to make a list of fun things to do together is great, and we need to do that. But even when that is going on in our relationship, these episodes have come up. I think the most recent, which was around the time of our meeting #3, which is why I was "hot" on the issue, was due to the change in our roles in the household and the disruption of old routines and habits. In our time away on vacation the issues which she was so hot about were non-existent and we got along great. Still not at the level of intimacy I would like (not talking sexual intimacy here) but emotional intimacy. At some level I have built up some calloused tissue around my heart as a coping mechanism because when I make myself vulnerable, and the episodic vitriol storm comes on, it really really hurts. I think in her past she has some similar issues, but hasn't really done much work to explore them and deal with them, and doesn't seem willing to want to do that work.

During the dialog of the process, which was not really any canonical tribe work I have done before, I mentioned that my needs for intimacy were being met in another relationship, and I want to clarify that this is not a relationship with another person. I have found the joy and happiness I need in my relationship with God, and that sustains me in the good times and the bad times and never fails. It has lifted a burden which I used to put onto my wife, that she should bring me the happiness I didn't have in myself or in my life, which is an impossible burden. I made an idol of my relationship with her and I used to be an extremely jealous husband. I have been freed from that curse.

These episodes with my wife have deepened my relationship with God as I turn to Him in those difficult times and He gives me comfort and peace. I offer my suffering to him in union with His suffering on the cross for our sake and it brings me many graces. The sacrament of Confession and receiving communion have brought me tremendous graces and have effected great changes in me and in my life. It saved my life, in fact, because often times during and after those episodes of vitriol directed at me from the one I was depending on for my happiness, I would be dumped into a pit of despair, sometimes to the point of considering self destruction. That is all gone from my life now, thank God. The framework for dealing with suffering in life which the Catholic Church proposes for our belief, makes it much easier to endure because it can bring about many graces and blessings. Suffering is not the great evil as it is depicted in popular culture and the commercial economy which desires to sell us medicines and escape from suffering. As Victor Frankel observed from his experience in the German concentration camps: "Man is not destroyed by suffering, but by suffering without meaning." Christ gives meaning to suffering. "Blessed are those who mourn," he taught on the Mount. "Take up your cross daily, and follow me."

TTP and tribe work in a previous town also helped me develop a closer relationship with God, as I had the sort of transcendent experience of the ultimate Grof discusses in "The Adventure of Self Discovery" during a TTP session and again at the Breathwork Workshop at the Bastrop TT Ranch, which was a very powerful transcendent experience.

I have been thinking for a while now that I would like to do tribe-type couples work with my wife as a way to develop emotional intimacy by our learning to share feelings with each other, but I don't know how to go about making that happen.

I ask her to share her feelings but I don't think I am very good at it. I think she may feel it is a manipulation. She frequently tells me "I tell you how I feel but nothing ever changes." That is, she seems to expect that by sharing how she feels that I am obligated to change for her benefit to eliminate those feelings, and if I don't then that becomes her beef with me.

I feel as though the process of Tribe meeting #3 sort of scratched the surface of a significant issue, and that it wasn't fully fleshed out and resolved.

What I am doing now seems to be working, and I am grateful for the reminder that we need to get out and do things together as a couple rather than as just parents. That will help but I think that to really achieve the intimacy I would like to have in our relationship that it would be helpful for us to try using some of the tribe technology to help us build empathy and communication of feelings.

I haven't been successful at it in my DIY way at home, but I can't think of any other way of bringing her along on this idea without non-insterested help.

It seems to me that Holotropic Breathwork might be useful to help her become aware of the issue because the recurrent anger venting seems to emanate from a deep-rooted hurt from her early life.

The last process involved a tribe member who felt constrained by the box of social conventions keeping him from doing the things he wanted to do. I was not very engaged in this process because I was still in process myself, but it occurred to me that the box was like the ark of the covenant which held the ten commandments. The rules of society created a boundary of ethical behavior in which the person felt trapped and constrained, and he seemed to have a desire to break out and break the rules.

Thank you for sharing your process and insights.

You might consider taking you feelings about <fixing your wife> to Tribe as an entry point.


He Successfully Manifests

his intention

to have her pull his ear.

http://funnypaperez.blogspot.com/2013/01/funny-wallpapers-funny-birds-child-wife.html

 

Aug 13, 2013

Tribe Meeting Report:
Reconstructing Natural Childbirth
;
Control and Intimacy

Dear Ed,

I read the FAQ , Aug 2, 2013, Trading Tribe Process (TTP): Stoners and Rockers and Crap in His Lungs.

I share a similar hotseat experience as the second hotseat in that FAQ, where I choke, have a bad taste in my mouth, can't breathe, and feel pressure around my chest and have my arms constrained and can't move.

As I feel the feelings more I don't have a clue what is going on. The PM encourages me to go deeper into the form, and I end up going through a birthing process. I notice my legs moving as I write this. I hand my mother back the rock that is an appeal-to-authority.

She lets doctors convince her that she needs drugs to induce labor and that she is incapable of delivering me vaginally. The medical system is stacked against her. Without going through the pains of natural childbirth, and her own body's natural timing of the birth, then, after the birth, her body does not release the chemicals promoting a natural / instinctive desire to protect me and nurture me. I hand back the appeal-to-authority rock to my mom; and I hand back a control rock to my dad. The tribe gives me a heart rock having the properties of sending and receiving feelings while retaining my own sovereignty.

I also notice that, in tribe, we can substitute the word "help" with "control." To "help" is to try to change someone, which is control.

Control is the antithesis of intimacy, and TTP seems to work best when the tribe simply supports the hotseat in expressing forms and feeling feelings in an environment of relentless validation and intimacy.

It is as if the most powerful way of really assisting someone is to maintain a state of not caring. If you care whether or not a hotseat is successful by whatever your definition of success is, you run the risk of encouraging and engaging in a codependent control-centric relationship.

As a PM of many hotseats, I learn the hard way that attempts at "helping" are actually fast ways to derail the process and the intimacy. I experience a 2-year gap in talking with a former tribe Chief, whom I try to "help" at our last and final meeting. The tribe disbands. We talk this week for the first time in two years. We talk and laugh and share and laugh some more. We have intimacy.

I appreciate the Aug 2nd hotseat's willingness to share their process. I appreciate the Aug 2nd helper for providing me with a shining example of what doesn't work, and for encouraging me stop "helping" and have intimacy.

Best,

Thank you for sharing your process and insights on helping and controlling.



Natural Welcome

http://www.allparenting.com/my-pregnancy/
articles/967249/deciding-from-medicated-to-natural-childbirth

Aug 13, 2013

Tribe Meeting Report:
Loses Weight and Gains a Relationship

Ed,

We begin by drumming. I feel relaxed after.

I report progress since this tribe series begins. My weight descends from 268lbs to 251lbs. I go on a wonderful date and a new relationship develops.

Ed asks who is hot. Several tribe members (tm's) raise their hands. Interviews regarding the issues ensue. One tribe member (tm) reports he has a problem but cannot define the problem. Another tm reports he has an issue with anger and raising his voice. Another tm reports he wants a new job with more responsibility and more involvement with people. Another tm reports he wants to work less and make double the money. Another tm reports he desires that a relationship go from friend to romantic.

The tm who wants a different job gets into a form. He recalls an event from childhood when he is in school. He goes to a catholic school run by nuns and one nun yells and screams at a student and another nun shakes a student. During all this drama he feels afraid and shuts down…he just stays compliant and disappears into the woodwork. We run the drama. The tm who brings up an issue with anger plays the role of the nun who yells and screams. He gets really angry and agitated.

Another tm plays the role of the nun who shakes the student. It seems everyone involved is getting what they want.

A messenger delivers a rock during the process from the tm's mother describing how to shut down. We run it a couple of times. A different messenger brings a new rock with new resources…he can share his feelings with the nuns, the students and all involved and also ask them how they feel. We run the drama again and he shares his feelings and asks each role player how they feel. He reports after running the process that he is ready to talk with his boss about a new job or to look into a job somewhere else that fits what he is looking for.

Another tm reports an issue with his throat and states it is connected with a project he is working on. He reports progress on the project but feels something is holding him back. He reports his throat as being sore somewhat but also feeling very dry and hard to swallow sometimes.

He gets into a form and describes being in the process of being born. His mother has been sedated and has a spinal block and is not able to push or move. He is in the birth canal and feels he is going to suffocate. He says there is fecal material everywhere and it's in his nose and mouth.

He begins a form that includes blowing his nose and spitting up lots of phlegm. He continues in the form and recalls going to a rock concert with friends. He smokes something at the concert and feels paranoid and not himself. He turns his vehicle over to friends a couple of miles from his home and begins walking. When he gets home he calls his mother and asks her to tell him he is OK or that he will be OK. His mother tells him he is definitely not OK.

We role play the concert drama and he has a chance to refuse to smoke what is being passed around. His grandfather is part of the drama and tries to give him a rock that just goes along with everything…don't make any waves. He refuses the rock from his grandfather. He reconnects with his mother after calling her the next day. I find the parallels very interesting between the birth drama and the later incident involving the concert.

It is almost a complete pattern match in many ways emotionally. I also notice a pattern match biologically. The tm recalls his mother being affected by the drugs during labor and delivery and he also recalls the drugs affecting him. Later, at the concert, the drugs affect him again differently than his other friends.

I recall recent genetic testing that I have done that shows certain genetic polymorphisms that interfere with my ability to break down certain drugs and other substances. I recall it specifically mentions different type of exhaust and smoke to avoid. I find it interesting that Fred can speak to biology as well as feelings…if we are tuning in.

Thank you for sharing your process and for documenting the meeting.

Congratulations on your successes.

Aug 13, 2013

Tribe Meeting Report: On Getting A Better Job

Hi Ed,

In the last tribe meeting, I take the hot seat.

I share with the tribe that I want to make changes in my career and that I am not taking action. I want to work more with people and spend less time with computers.

I share with the tribe that "I want to do something else" and the tribe encourages me to continue repeating this. I show a form with my hands, and the tribe encourages me to intensify that form. At some point, the Process Manager (PM) asks me to freeze the form.

First, my mind is blank and I do not recall anything. Then the word "school" comes to my mind. The PM encourages me to go with that. I start to recall an event when I am 9 or 10 years old. I have a couple of nuns as teachers. They both yell at students and one is particularly aggressive with students.

I share with the tribe that I feel fear to be around the nuns. I do not want them to yell at me or abuse me physically as they do it with other classmates. I try to obey the rules and be a "good boy". I also want to please my mother by being a "good boy" at school. I try to stay "under the radar" to avoid problems with the nuns. I do not participate much in class. The tribe helps me see that I also follow this pattern in my current work.

We role play two events with the nuns. The first event is when a classmate does not stay in line after the recess is over. One of the nuns gets very angry and shakes him by his collar. I am already in line and I am afraid of that nun. The second event is when a classmate tries to talk to me during class. We cannot talk during class. The nun, who is the teacher, gets very angry and yells at my classmate.

During the process, I have the opportunity to forgive the "stay under the radar – shut down" rock back to my mother. The PM asks me what new resources I would like to have. I first hesitate to include sharing feelings as I do not imagine myself sharing feelings with these nuns. I finally accept a new rock with resources such as sharing and receiving feelings.

We role play both events with the nuns simultaneously. I have the opportunity to connect with the nuns and my classmates. I approach them one at the time. First, I approach the nun yelling at my classmate. She expresses anger. I thank her for sharing her feelings. I ask her if she would like to hear my feelings. I share my fear with her. Second, I approach my classmate. We share feelings and I also tell him that I prefer if we talk in recess or after class. Third, I approach my other classmate. I share with him that I feel anger when I see the nun shaking him. I also feel fear. He expresses fear too. I also share with him that I do not like some of the rules in the school; however, I prefer just to follow them. Finally, I approach the other nun after the incident with my classmate. I express my fear and she expresses anger. During the process, I also clarify that saying "Thanks" is a judgment free way to receive feelings.

Then, another member takes the hot seat. Hot seat wants to do more selling and less coding. The process is intense. Hot seat experiences multiple forms mostly related to coughing. After he experiences the forms, he shares some events. At first, I am not clear about hot seat's rock and rock donor. Then, the events hot seat shares start to relate to each other. The tribe is clearer and we proceed to role playing.

During the process, I relate to hot seat when he calls his mother just to hear an "Everything is OK" from her. I recall wanting to hear this expression from my mother especially during difficult times. However, I do not recall asking for it. I just wish she says it. I now see how that expression can be powerful and can actually turn things to be just OK.

Last week, I share with my boss how I feel about my work. I share with him that I want a role where I interact more with people. He agrees with me and tells me that my work now is very systematic. He also mentions a couple of work options for me to consider. I am glad I speak with him. He now knows what I want.

Thanks.

Thank you for sharing your process.

Reply Template



Bosses and Employees

can communicate
their feelings and wishes
and help each other win.

http://mantivities.wordpress.com/2012/01/09/49-handshakes/

Mon, Aug 13, 2013

Thoughts about Feelings

Dear Ed,

Just has this feeling and thought of sharing:

The more we hide our feelings, the more they show.

The more we deny our feelings, the more they grow.

I celebrated your Birthday here by ordering one T Shirt Embroidered with your name. Other ones are of Warren and Charlie.

Best wishes,

Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

Aug 12, 2013

EMA System Performance with Shorts - Remark

Hey Ed,

Just wanted to follow up with you about the EMA system with shorts (below) - it appears I have made a mistake because as I was thinking about the system today I realized that since the original 85/325 system had one negative trade, it's not possible for the system that includes shorts to have 100% positive trades since it would have to include that negative trade.

I'm going to go back through my code and try to figure out where I went wrong.

Thanks,

Thank you for sharing your process.


See if you can find the
the mistake:


1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9



Sometimes We Move Forward

one mistake at a time.


Aug 12, 2013

Tribe Meeting Report: Sting of Rejection

Ed,

In the first process, a tribe member that wants to work on getting a new job but, he is having trouble finding the motivation to do it. He goes through his feelings and forms and ratchets up the feelings. He remembers two incidents in grammar school that are of significance.

The first occurs on a play ground during recess when at the end of the period a friend of his who won’t get in line gets violently shaken and scolded by the teacher. Another episode occurs in class when a friend tries to talk to him and the child is screamed at by a different teacher.

In both circumstances, the tribe member shuts down and tries to avoid the ire of the teachers and to follow their rigid discipline. This behavior is supported by his mother’s rock. We role play both of these events exactly as they happened. However, in the next role play the tribe member denies his mother’s rock of shutting down and accepts the rock of sharing feelings.

He shares his feelings with his friends about following the rules so as not to get yelled at or shaken. When that happens, his friends get into line and don’t talk to him during class. There is nothing for the teachers to harass these children about. The tribe member then shares his feelings with the teachers and listens to their feelings as well. He tells them how sad, angry and scared he gets when they yell and shake the students.

I play the teacher who scolds and shakes the young student. I feel the power and angry that this teacher possesses. However, when I checked out as myself, I felt sad and horrified how quickly angry can escalate to rage and violence. I can relate, when one of my parents would yell at me just how sad and angry I felt.

Another tribe member complains of something in his throat that won’t go away and being stymied with his career. He gets into his form which is coughing and wheezing violently. He feels he is being suffocated as a baby when he is coming out of the womb.

Since his mother is sedated, she can’t control her bodily functions. As he is being born, he tries to expel excrement and fluids to keep from choking. He increases these feelings. He remembers a significant incident in which he partakes of some marijuana at a rock concert. He recalls driving home with the friends who shared the drugs with him. He fears that they want to get him further stoned or even do him harm.

When he gets to the end of his street, he gives the car to his friends so they can get home and walks to his house. When he gets there he feels strange from all of the drugs and calls his mother. It’s late at night and she is annoyed by his call. He needed reassurance that he was okay but, his mother tersely says that is not okay and hangs up.

He also recalls that his family made his beloved grandfather take medication until it made him die. We role played the scene at the concert and the phone call to his mother as it actually happened. He received the rock for taking the drugs from his grandfather. During the next role play, he refused the drugs at the concert and turned down the rock from his grandfather and accepted the rock of sharing his feelings by saying no to the drugs.

We role play again, but when the tribe member is passed the drugs he refuses. I play one of the “stoner” friends and don’t say anything when he doesn’t use the drugs. It’s no big deal because I am stoned and I am caught up in the drugs effects. When I check out as myself and reflect on getting so caught up in the drugs I didn’t acknowledge my friend. I was sad because we were doing something and leaving him out of it. I have felt the pain of being left out. I remember a time when I wasn’t invited to a party in high school I felt sad and all alone.

I shared with the tribe my desire to take a relationship with a female friend to a more romantic level. I had dinner with her this past weekend. She said she wasn’t interested and I felt the sting of rejection.

I told her I felt sad and thanked her for sharing her thoughts and feelings as well. I set these situations up in my life and I will be working on them in tribe.

Thank you for sharing your process and for reporting on the meeting.

You might consider taking <sting of rejection> to Tribe as an entry point.


You Can Make Rejection

into a sentence
or a release.

http://www.fugly.com/pictures/15120/
valentine_rejection.htm
l

Aug 12, 2013

Stops In - Nothing to Do

Ed,

I have just got back from the the South of France.

I did not have any internet service. I had 8 trades on with the my trailing stops in place. Stops were in place so nothing to do except sunbathe and swim. I had a very relaxing week. No worries.

I read a funny trading joke whilst away.

I once had a mental stop in and didn't obey it.
That's how I ended up with my first kid.

Happy Birthday

Thank you for sharing your process.

Your trading anecdote might have less to do with putting stops in - than with pulling out right before the top.


Aug 12, 3013

Attitude of Gratitude

Dear Ed,

Many years back I hear Michael Wicket, motivation speaker from America.

He talks about attitude of gratitude.

I am preparing my list today. I intend reading it everyday.

Better late than never.

Thanks for helping and guiding me.

My list includes you.

Best wishes,

Thank you for sharing your process.

Aug 11, 2013

Mr. Fix-It

Hi Ed,

One specific issue I have a difficult time staying present for and feeling my emotions is unfixable inefficiency. I avoid my feelings by trying to fix myself / other people or situations and if I can't fix problems I run away.

I would like to stay present with my feelings of overwhelming discomfort when a inefficiency or problem exists that I can't immediately fix.

I wonder if I could experience 'disappearing' during the 5th of September Austin Tribe meeting?

Thank you for sharing your process.

I wonder if you can cite an example of "unfixable inefficiency" that bothers you.


Mr. Fix-It

typically gets better
when he stops trying
to fix everything.

http://cheezburger.com/1552155904

 

Aug 11, 2013

EMA System Performance with Shorts: Remarkable

Hey Ed,

I hope you're having a great Birthday celebration this weekend!

I just wanted to let you know about the results I obtained after expanding the EMA crossover system to include short entries - it's the same basic system except instead of exiting a long trade when the fast EMA crosses below the slow EMA, you actually go short, and vice versa, so that you are constantly in the market either long or short.

The results, if they are accurate, I found to be pretty remarkable. The new 15/150 system with shorts resulted in a total return of 29.6 times the original stake, compared to 3.3 for the original system, while the new 85/325 system resulted in a total return of 89.7 times the original stake compared to the original 13.6.

Furthermore, the new 85/325 system generated 100% profitable trades. I find these results to be very exciting, however I feel that I should now focus a good amount of attention on modeling the risk and volatility of the returns.

I am trying to determine how you calculated the "Dr-Dn" ratio for the original systems. I assumed that you got the number from your "Lake Ratio," which I think is a very good method, however when I calculated the Lake/Earth ratio for both systems I am getting numbers that are much lower than your "Dr-Dn" ratios.

The method I used for the calculation is to create daily Equity and Peak Equity vectors, then subtract the Equity from the Peak Equity for each day of data and add up the total to get the "Lake" area.

I subtract the daily Equity from the Starting Equity to get the "Earth Area," then divide the Lake by the Earth. This method is essentially taking the integral of the associated graph regions, using 1 day intervals, which was the best way I could think of to do it.

I'm curious if you could point me in the right direction for either this calculation, or any other methods for modeling the risk and volatility of the returns.

Thanks,

Thank you for sharing your progress.

In calculating return / drawdown, I generally use max_drawdawn_percent, the largest percent drawdown from any peak over the duration of the simulation.

Your results from including shorts indeed seem remarkable.

Perhaps you have a bug in your code.


Some Bugs


make things appear
to work better.

http://www.examiner.com/article/malware-is-everywhere
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