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Dec 20, 2013

Tribe Report - A Rational Approach

Hi Ed and support team,

I keep my commitment to report Tribe development.

I Arrive 19:55 still in time to start tribe and two members are there.

A new member join the Tribe and arrives 20:01.

It is everyone intention to a new member arrive late. So we can remember the belief that intention=results and everyone is responsible for everything.

As there is a new member we introduce ourselves and have a good atmosphere and rapport.

We then start drumming and I am impressed with the commitment of the new member bringing an instrument to the tribe on his first meeting.

The drumming goes fine and I really enjoy it.

We all check in.

We start with a round of progress report as tribe is an environment for personal developing and solving problems that stands in between where you are and where you want to go as oppose to medicate feelings and show signature forms.

I am happy that I am progressing with my projects and I am dealing better with my impatience and enjoying every moment of the ride.

Another member shares that he is more settled regarding his job hunt and that does not disturb him, even without having a job.

Another member shares that he improves his relationship with his daughter at the same time increases tension with his wife relating with money ambitions. She wants more and he wants less.

We suggest to new member to share his goals and what he wants to work on as he does not have tribe work to report progress.

He engages in explaining his current struggle with his wife relationship and some feeling about his current work and aspirations.

I notice some forms and point to him what is a form.

We do a round of interviews and ask of willingness to work and the new member volunteers for HS.

PM manages the process and get support for other members that help on receiving.

HS tells his story and very clear describe the issue.

That previous form does not show up and as PM I struggle to identify any form to go with and encourage.

I notice HS has great awareness and a good rationale of his issue and keeps talking.

Internally I have thoughts of frustration as Tribe is very focused in understanding the issue at an intellectual level, including me. I perceive that no one focus on forms but in engaging in the discussion.

With various attempt to get more clarity on the issue it all falls in the same pattern of rationality.

At a point as a PM I call for a non issue and the process does not flow into a clear form manifesting. I understand that is the intention for the meeting.

We do a check out and a round of sharing feelings and thoughts.

Meeting is adjourned.

Overall members share that they are happy with tribe progress and it is OK not to have a complete HS process.

This is the 5th meeting and we are resuming activities in January and we are having a Xmas break.

Thanks for receiving my report.

Merry Xmas and Happy New Year

Thank you for sharing your process.

If your group gets off into analysis and commentary, you might consider bringing it back over to the feeling side by asking people to show the forms that go with the feeling of <wanting to figure it out>.



Thinking

can sometimes protect you
from knowing.

http://www.edudemic.com/how-to-think-tips-ideas/

Dec 19, 2013

Rocks Process - Feelings of Loss --> Feeling Lucky

Ed,

When I lose something I feel like flying into a rage. I barely control it with superhuman effort. One recent incident involving my wife leaves me remorseful and apologetic. No violence, no damaged things, but lingering unhappy feelings.

I take this to the hot seat. Mindful of suggestions from Austin, I state my intention to do the full rocks process.

We find a process manager. I easily find again the form I showed in the warm-up exercises and within a short time it reaches frightening (to me) levels.

Somewhere during this period we got distracted into a discussion of what what the problem was, Various theories are advanced. Somehow we pull it back on track and get me back into my feelings.

"When did you feel like this before"? Out of the blue something that happened a long time ago comes clearly into my mind. I am 11 years old and getting to bed late. I reach for my pajamas which are not there. No pajamas in my drawer either. Down in the laundry there are piles and piles of clothes, some washed, some not washed. It is cold and I need some pajamas, or so I think. My hasty anxious search for pajamas in the laundry is ineffective. Mum sleeps, having gone to bed "tired to the bone". I need to wake Mum and she will be angry. I wake her up and she is angry. I feel bad and angry at her for making me feel like this.

On reflection this is probably the first time I feel like this. I remember feeling like this a lot after that time, but not before.

I describe the scene and pick the people to act out the scene. We stop at the point where I realize I have no pajamas to wear. At this point the person playing Mum donates my 'strategy'. Here it is: get upset, make sure everyone knows you are upset, do not consider how anyone else feels. Make sure the person responsible for the situation feels bad. We continue and I get the result of bad feelings in the house for a few days. Even my Dad complains when he shows up the next day "I believe you upset your Mother".

We then consider whether a better strategy may be possible. We decide a) feel the feeling of frustration fully and allow my mind to process it. Then decide the most proactive thing to do. b) Receive other people's feelings. In this case, be more sympathetic to my Mum and her feelings of tiredness. Perhaps I could offer to help her sometimes. Maybe I offer to help her with the washing, if she likes.

We re-enact. I refuse the old rock, with appreciation for the intent. My favorite Uncle offers me the new rock, a shiny green stone that looks like Jade and I accept it. We continue. I feel the feeling and look through the laundry in a calm relaxed way and find some pajamas. There is no need to wake anyone. In the morning I offer to help with the washing if she wants and then just stand there receiving her feelings [not sure if we reenacted this bit or if I just did in my my mind]. The thought of her grateful smile when I say this makes me feel like crying.

We finish the re-enactment. But I forget to go through other similar situations in my life and consider how I might have handled them. I find myself doing this as we debrief in character. I release everyone from their roles. We debrief as ourselves. Some people comment that the process was very illuminating. One member comments the proof will be in coming weeks.

On the way home that night I realize I have may have lost my sunglasses. I have a brief look before going to bed (at 1am as tribe is a long way from home). In the morning I have a better look and they are not to be found. I find while I look I feel relaxed and calm and unhurried. I have to tell my wife I have lost something - normally she would have known without being told! While I am away for tribe my wife makes an appointment with the optometrist the next morning to pick up my new computer glasses. So after I test the new glasses I ask about sunglasses. They I want are on sale and they have the ones I want for only $49. They are a lot better than the old, scratched, ones that I lost. I comment to the sales lady that this is looking like a lucky day.

Thank you for documenting your implementation of the Rocks Process.

Distracting discussion generally originates from someone who feels uncomfortable and wishes to derail the process. Typically, group pressure gets things back on track. Alternatively, the Process Manager can get things back on track by, say, asking the disrupter how he feels about the process.


The Prospect of Intimacy

may motivate
some clowning around.

http://trappedinthevoid.blogspot.com/
2009_09_01_archive.html

Dec 17, 2013

Habit Upgrade Page

Hi Chief,

In the last Austin Tribe meeting, I say that I commit to expand my tribe to local community. I create a meet up group, "Instant Habit Upgrade" to reach the public. Here is the link:

http://www.meetup.com/Instant-Habit-Upgrade/

Thanks,

Thank you for your report and for the link.

Dec 15, 2013

Joy

Chief,

Congratulations! I feel pure joy that Govopoly is out. You are a rare gift for mankind. Thank you for everything.

Thank you for your support.

I feel a bit of relief myself.

Dec 15, 2013

Orders Book

Dear Ed,

I just ordered your new book . Thank you for sharing so much commitment, hard work and knowledge. Thank you for the opportunity to learn and grow.
Thank you for your order.

Dec 15, 2013

9-Year-Old Sings Opera

Hi Ed,

You might like this:

http://www.flixxy.com/9-year-old-girl-sings-opera-on-hollands-got-talent.htm?utm_sou

Thank you for the link.

Dec 15, 2013

How to Accept Others

Hi Ed,

In FAQ you suggest sharing feelings and accepting people as perfect in their current form. I find this is not so easy to do.

I wonder if you could explain your method of accepting people as perfect in their current form?

Thanks,

Thank you for raising this issue.

Difficulty in releasing judgment may indicate a "stack of judges." If so, you might consider validating the judge on the top of the stack to release the entire stack. See my book The Trading Tribe for more on how this works.

You might consider asking your Tribe to assist you in validating, acknowledging and finding the positive intention of your tendency to judge your own judgments.


Admonitions about Judgment

contain implicit judgment.

http://bintmatar.wordpress.com/tag/judgmental/

Dec 15, 2013

Likes the Quote

Ed,

I like this quote:

It is not our abilities that show who we truly are, it is our choices.

Thank you for sharing some words from 150-year-old Dumbledore in Chamber of Secrets, Harry Potter Series, 2002, aka J.K. Rowling.

In SVO-p we have: We shape our lives more by our choices than by our abilities. I wonder how you figure that works if you happen to have the ability to choose wisely.

You might consider noticing if you have any significant choices to make - and taking these to Tribe for clarification.


Richard Harris

shares a few pearls from J.K.
and raises the issue
of the ability to choose.

http://www.reellifewisdom.com/top_five_wisest_
dumbledore_quotes_in_a_harry_potter_film

Dec 14, 2013

Looking for the Drone

Ed,

Ordered my book this morning, been looking for the drone to drop it off all day..

 

Thank you for your order.

Evidently, the drones still have a few bugs.

We still use U.S. Post Office Express Mail.



In Trading as in Mailing

consistency generally beats glamour.

http://defensetech.org/2013/12/09/hacker-releases-software-to-hijack-commercial-drones/

Dec 13, 2013

Austin Tribe Report, November 21, 2013

Ed,

We help a Tribe Member with an issue. He is weary about asking potential investors for money to invest in his fund. He thinks it is a self-esteem issue. Upon further questioning, we find out that his father always expects perfection. He is always critical of even the smallest things he does. He criticizes the way he mows the lawn or holds his fork at the dinner table. He must do it the "right way". He demonstrates a willingness to work on the issue. Two of the Tribe Members play his father and start yelling commands like, "Mow the lawn again because there are still some blades of grass still sticking up" and " Hold your fork the right way." He does what he usually does which is to shut down. We provide him with the new resource of sharing feelings and he relates how he feels to his father and he receives his father's feelings.

He also relates his frustration with his 7 year-old daughter. He picks her up early from her tennis lesson and notices she isn't hitting the tennis ball with much enthusiasm. When they get into the car he starts to question her about it, "you don't seem to be trying" and "why aren't you more enthusiastic?" The more he questions her the more she shuts down. There is no intimacy. The Tribe provides him with the resources to help open up his relationship with his daughter by asking her how she feels about tennis. She says she has more interest in the "Rainbow Princess" or hitting the tennis ball around with just him and her mother. Now they both enjoy their relationship because she is relating how she feels and he is receiving it.

I can relate to this issue because my mother always corrects me and expects perfection. I feel sadness, isolation and anger. My father doesn't want to play catch with me because he says he is too tired after work. However, he gets out the lawn mower and starts to mow the lawn. If he has energy to do that why doesn't he have enough to pitch a ball back and forth with me? I think, "What did I do wrong?" I feel rejection and anger.

I have some news on the animation front. I find out that an animation studio in Dallas Texas called Reel FX has an apprenticeship program in 3D animation. I am applying for their next class. I am enjoying the feeling of this progress in my goal.

Thank you for sharing your process.

Dec 13, 2013

Wants the Book

Ed,

I'm reading the first 37 pages of your new book of Govopoly the 39th day. As usual, it's very easy to read. I recall that English is not my mother tongue but you use simple words and have a very clear thinking, as usual.

I have forms of memories and reminiscences concerning economy at University.

Talking about Central bank was not that clear, the teachers never address Central bank topic from this point of view. And I claim that I always felt confusion, feeling of insatisfaction inside me after those economy lessons.


Till now, those lessons of economy have never been useful neither for me nor my relatives for our daily life... Except maybe when I debate against others about economy and when I try to change their opinions. I let you imagine the ambiance between my interlocutors and me during those sterile long debate.

When can we buy this new book??

I feel impatience to read the whole book. What is the positive intention of the feeling of impatience in that case??

Thank you Great Teacher.

Thank you for sharing your interest.

You can buy it now. See Resources, above.

Dec 12, 2013

On Selling TTP

Hi Ed,

I thought this part of your response to TTP Extensions and Clinical Stats (below) was interesting,

Ed Says: TTP does not spread by trying to "win people over" or to "please them." I do not wish to build FAQ around trying to "sell" TTP to the therapeutic community, or to anyone, for that matter."

I'm interested in understanding your response. I believe TTP is beneficial to people, so why not do everything possible to "sell" and "win people over" to maximize its expansion and utilization?

Thank you for raising this issue.

In the Control-Centric Model, we decide what benefits others and we force it on 'em, whether or not they agree.

In the Intimacy-Centric Model, we share feelings back and forth and accept others as perfect in their current form, and wait for them to ask us before selling them on our good ideas.

Some people, particularly those new to TTP, have a strong urge to sell it to others - and do so using their legacy Control-Centric methods. Doing so changes TTP to TTPPP (TTP-pushy-pushy).

TTP spreads best by example; you practice it, set an example of using it, and talk about it only if someone asks you for coaching (or writes in to FAQ).



Now Listen Up, You Moron

we use the Intimacy-Centric Model
around here, or else!

http://www.jeffbullas.com/2012/10/17/how-to-use-social-media-to-close-more-deals-without-being-a-pushy-salesperson-infographic/



Dec 12, 2013

Attribution

Dear Ed,

I appreciate your including attributions for the images you use in your replies, since it shows a respect for the source and the effort they may have made to publish the image.

Today, however, I discover a further benefit that I had not realized before. In reading your reply to "TTP and Clinical Stats" I am extremely moved by the image of the Native American couple with their horse and tepee; it is a beautiful scene that speaks to me on many levels and I click on the attribution to see if I can download it.

It turns out to be part of a blog that includes numerous thoughts, quotes, images and poems that I find equally meaningful. Two of the quotes that are associated with the image strike me as having particular relevance to TTP concepts and the notion of Right Livelihood.

I would like to share them here with the reminder that the attribution for them is the same as for the original image, http://www.maralane.com/category/brainblurt/page/20/

Native American Indians 10 commandments
1. Treat the Earth and all that dwell thereon with respect
2. Remain close to the Great Spirit
3. Show great respect for your fellow beings
4. Work together for the benefit of all Mankind
5. Give assistance and kindness wherever needed
6. Do what you know to be right
7. Look after the well-being of mind and body
8. Dedicate a share of your efforts to the greater good
9. Be truthful and honest at all times
10. Take full responsibility for your actions

And this one:

"Angry people want you to see how powerful they areā€¦ Loving people want you to see how powerful you are."
- Chief Red Eagle

Again I wish to thank you for making FAQ a true doorway to greater happiness and connection between people.

Sincerely,

Thank you for sharing your observations and the link.

Dec 11, 2013

Govopoly

Hello Ed,

I love what I have seen of the book.

Can't wait to buy it

Gut feel by the 39th day half the pond will be covered with the Duck weed

Merry Xmas

Thank you for your support.

Watch the FAQ Index page for news on how to order.

Dec 11, 2013

TTP Extensions and Clinical Stats

Hi Ed,

I can present it to my friend [prominent psychologist] for a reaction less formally. I will ask him how he feels about putting his reaction on your website.

My view on this version is its very good if you have experienced the Tribe first hand and know the terminology. For example "Trading Tribe" will need a brief explanation for my friend to have a good understanding.

Also there are terms like "Under-Fred Network" which I will compare to Jung's collective unconscious.

Lastly maybe it would be beneficial to have some clinical stats? Number of people that have run through this process and even some testimonials organized in the document(FAQ has a lot of different material mixed in)? Not sure if this is the direction you want to go just a thought.

Thank you for your enthusiasm about bringing TTP to the therapeutic community.

You might consider sharing your enthusiasm with your friend in a way that does not "push" him into having to change anything. He may or may not develop a wish to read TTP Extensions and The Trading Tribe.

Some psychologists come to the work and wind up incorporating some TTP into their practices; some report to FAQ. TTP does not spread by trying to "win people over" or to "please them." I do not wish to build FAQ around trying to "sell" TTP to the therapeutic community, or to anyone, for that matter.

I have no clinical stats other than the anecdotal evidence you can read on the FAQ pages.

 


Some Things Work Pretty Well

without clinical stats.

http://www.maralane.com/category/brainblurt/page/20/



Dec 11, 2013

Govopoly in the 39-th Day

Of course, it takes 39 days for the duck pond to be half full.

Can't wait to get my hands on the book, Chief. I had a look at the samples and some of the resources that you have uploaded. Pretty excited about the book.

Cheers and take care,

Thank you for your support.

Dec 11, 2013

Habit #5 and the Rocks Process

Hi Ed,

From the September workshop you mention The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey when we did the exercise of Important vs. Urgent.

This book had being sitting on my reading list for quite some time, but when I came back from the workshop it jumped in front in the queue.

When I read it I noticed lots of parallels to TTP and specially habit number five.

Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood.

Then a chain of events happened indicating some synchronicity.

The chapter I liked the most is "Inside-out again" where Covey shares his greatest discovery when he took a sabbatical with his family in Hawaii.

He comes across a mysterious quote from an old book in a library in country Hawaii and it says some thing like.

"There is a gap or space between stimulus and response, and that the key to both our growth and happiness is how we use that space."

At first I perceived something special, but did not quite got it. Until yesterday that from some reason the topic came back as I mysteriously found an article in the AFR Magazine [Australian Financial Review] talking about thoughts and feelings and also my wife came with some theories about Stimulus and Response that she had learned in a recent corporate retreat.

So all that drove me to re-read the chapter and I found out that what Covey did with his family was a version of Rocks Process. It was through a process of increasing intimacy with family members and committing to no judgment and feelings sharing. The results were the identification of deep issues and its relationship with childhood incidents. By doing so that changed the way they responded to stimulus which for me, making an analogy with rocks, is the use of the heart rock acting proactively rather than unconsciously as a form of feeling medication.

That was an AHA for me.

I wanted to share that with FAQs

Best Regards

Thank you for sharing your insights.
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