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Sep 20, 2013

Anger

Dear Ed,

A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.

If possible your view please about anger.

Best wishes,

In the Intimacy-Centric model, our anger alerts us to boundary management issues. We express our anger early and often, constructively and lovingly, before it has a chance to build up into a form that requires venting.

In the Control-Centric model, we have angry fools and wise men who stuff their anger.


Anger Has a Positive Intention
of boundary management.


If you stuff anger
instead of expressing it
it can build up
until your head bursts into flame.

http://www.photoshopcreative.co.uk/image/39467/anger

Sep 20, 2013

Positive Intention List

Ed,

1. Is there any list on your website with the positive intention of every felling ?

2. 2 years ago you wrote that you intend to publish a new book, is there any progress with that ?

Have a great weekend,

Thank you for raising these issues.

I do not publish a list of positive intentions. The positive intention may vary from person to person and from situation to situation.

I have my book in final editing and plan to have it in print later this year.



Ed, Playing Banjo

in a duckweed pond.


Sep 20, 2013

Now

Dear Ed,

I am intrigued by the mention, by one of your workshop attendees, of the "now" as interacting with the present and the future. Obviously, there must be some recognition of a "future" in order to visualize goals, and of a "past" in order to see patterns.

I notice some friends who seem almost too much in the "now", when they make commitments to do things in the future that seem like a great idea at the time, but actually overload them or harm them when the time comes to honor the commitments.

When evaluating a situation in order to respond to it, doesn't one have to be able to be aware of the bigger picture, that is, their other commitments, their goal of, let's say, managing their time to allow for relaxing, their possible use of commitments to avoid other issues, etc?

I know it's possible to over think a decision, but I wonder if one can also under think one as well.

Regards,

Thank you for raising the issue of thinking in the now.

In your first sentence, you state, "I am Intrigued ..."

I: First person singular noun.

Am: Indicates existence or equality.

Intrigued: Past tense of arousal of interest.

So you start off by saying, literally, I equal the past arousal of interest.

You might consider framing your communications to FAQ in SVO-p (S-ubject, V-erb, O-bject - present tense). If you can do this, you might also consider omitting all forms of the verb "to be".

We can save your "Obviously, there must be ..." for another now.

Sep 20, 2013

Trading Tribe Workshop Report
"You know dad, you make me happy."

Dear Ed,

Thank you so much for conducting the workshop – it had a profound influence on me. You definitely walk the talk on 'Right Livelihood' of empowering people.

I would like to share my learning's and feelings about the workshop. I have removed the names of the workshop attendees so that if you publish it, you don't have to go through the process yourself. Since returning from the workshop, I have noticed a lot of feelings flowing through me. Maybe they were always there and I noticing them now. When I went to the workshop, I thought that I had all these emotions but I noticed that most participants in the workshop shared the similar feelings and emotions that I had.

I have always hated being late and I find myself late for all the important meetings. I ended up being late for this workshop too. I was really amazed at how you were able to point something to my childhood that provided me with this rock. My dad was always late coming to the house (I would be asleep most of the times) and when he came my mother would always get very angry. Since this was a regular occurrence in my house, I never paid attention to it but now I know how big of an influence that has had on me.

I got a new perspective on defining goals – a goal has to address a problem. During the goal defining process, I mentioned that I keep changing my models, I run from one model to another. You mentioned that I have problems with commitment – I always keep my promise. At that point, I felt a bit defensive because I never thought I ever had commitment issues. When I went to my room that night, I recognized how prophetic your comment was.

It was not only my trading but every aspect of my life that I have been moving from one thing to another almost like a 'rolling stone.' I start too many thing and end up finishing only a few. Sometimes I get a feeling that I don't trust myself. Now whenever I think of a commitment and I have an uneasy feeling, I will listen to that feeling.

My goal for trading has been to become an expert in a few areas and now I know why every time I make plans of how I will study, I have a heavy feeling on my chest. It is because Fred is not agreeing with my CM. I liked the description of carrying a rock because that is what I feel anytime I am in a situation that I don't like as if someone kept a rock on my chest.

Then we had a practice about asking other participants 'what do you think?' and then just listen. It was really hard to sit quietly and listen. I felt like someone has tied me up. As the process continued it became much easier.

When we did the role play regarding the tech support and the irate customers, I was just amazed how strong feeling just that role playing brought up. During the initial role play the person playing tech support started providing rational explanation it made me angry as I felt I was not heard. I was in no mood for a compromise. The second go around, he just listened and I came up to a solution myself.

During the role play session, when we had to say, "I hate you" or "I love you" and the person looked away from me brought out even more anger. I started realizing this is how my kids would react, i.e. turn away from me when I am trying to discipline them and it would make me scream even more with things like, 'Look at me', 'you cannot do that', 'you should be ashamed of behaving that way'

In your FAQ's, I always had a hard time understanding the 'concept of now,' even though my life's goal is to 'live in the now.' The way you explained being in the now with the past and present line helped clarify the concept of 'now'.

When you described the 'control centric' model and the 'intimacy centric' model, it gave me the clarity that I am 99% in the control centric model. Will power is what I strive for and it becomes painful after a point to resist all the feeling. I think using the Cartesian coordinates to understand feeling is great. For me, I know I cannot stand the high risk, high reward system. It explained to me why when I traded options even though I made a ton of money, I had a hard time sleeping at night. The illustration about important and urgent was great too – I felt a great sense of calmness when in the high importance and low urgency quadrant, though I realized I was spending most of my time in the most urgent part. My goal now is to spend most of my time in high importance – low urgency quadrant.

One of the members of the workshop mentioned that he would like to stop yelling at his kids. You chose him to be at the 'hot seat.' As he was explaining what he wanted to do, he was creating certain forms and everyone encouraged him to keep repeating the forms such as shaking his legs, holding his hand tight.

Within minutes he went to a form where it felt very comfortable for him. When you started asking questions, he said that he is feeling lonely, he can think of himself as a child when his parents were getting a divorce. The scene he remembered was that his dad came home late and his mom started yelling at him accusing him that he was seeing another woman. Then two of the members from the Austin tribe did a role play of mother and father. Within the second try, the person in the hot seat started feeling similar to what he felt during his childhood. In the first part of the role play, the mother gave the rocks of shutting down and yelling to the boy. Then you checked for his willingness to give the rocks away and he wanted to give it way.

In the next role play, he gave the rock to his mother, after giving the rocks back, he seemed very relaxed. I could feel the emotion in the whole room. I personally could relate to his experience as I resort to yelling at my kids when they are not doing exactly what I want them to do. I realized that most of what I say to my kids is exactly what I used to hear as a child. The whole session also made me recognize how much of an influence we have on our kids.

When we practiced the 'rocks process' among the different groups or tribes, I wanted to get on the hot seat but I realized I kept talking and I was not that hot at that time. Someone in our group said that he would like to lose weight, we start with the process; go to the zero point where he realizes that his mother had the habit of overeating because she got attention from his dad only when she got sick.

We did the role play and he gave back the rock to his mother. Everyone in the group felt that the feeling that was there when this person went to the zero point. As the process manager went around, another person in the small tribe seemed to be hot about his intention on getting intimate with his wife.

He starting shaking his hand, we encouraged him to keep shaking his hand and very soon he reached the zero point. After reaching the zero point, there did not seem any progress. We realized that the person is not completely ready yet and moved to the next member of the tribe.

This member said that he had a hard time speaking up because he always felt very stupid. He got into the hot seat. As he started explaining his problem, he was clenching his fist, holding them tight. We encouraged him to hold it tighter and tighter. The process manager noticed that his head started to go down and so we started encouraging him to put his head down more. After a point, he almost reached into a rhythmic motion and the process manager asked him to freeze at that point. He asked him about his childhood and the person in the hot seat said he could see the scowling face of his father and he is scared to talk.

Based on his input we did a role play with his father getting angry and asking him to shut up and his mother giving him a 'rock' for shutting down and being quiet. In the next role play, he returned the rock and got the 'heart rock.' We did the role play again where he shared his feelings with his dad. He was still visibly shaken but seemed much more relaxed. Even though I was not hot enough to get into the hot seat, I got a chance to role play and would notice how emotions came up during role play. I also was very skeptical initially about my ability for role playing but realized how quickly everything fell into place and it fell natural. I also learned a number of things about myself during the role playing process, like my nature of fixing everything, most people, having a judgment about how someone should behave.

Later during the night, I ended up in the group where you were leading the group. One of the members said he had a hard time dealing with 'I don't know' and when you asked him to say 'I don't know' and have fun with it, it was, for lack of a better term to express the feeling, very powerful. For me, the most important part during that conversation was about testing systems with the gut. I had worked on systems which on simulations looked great but never got the courage to trade with that system. I had always thought about checking the system the same way you had explained you did when you started systems trading but never got to it. After hearing your story, I have made a commitment to approach it your way; this will give me a gut check way better than anything else. Incidentally, this was one commitment which did not give me an uneasy feeling – it actually gave me a great feeling, so I know this will be a commitment that I will keep.


On the second night of the workshop, I had a dream about the rocks process about the child and parent. After that I also dreamt of an incident from my childhood. I was sent to boarding school when I was six years old, the day my parents dropped me, I had cried a lot, and the school matron had to literally hold me down to let my parents go. The next week, everyone came to see me except for my mother. When I asked why she did not come and someone said that since I cried too much she did not come. I told him tell Ma to come and I promise not to cry again. Even now when the incident of sending kids to boarding school comes up; my parents would proudly say how everyone in school would tell my parents that I was the only kid who never cried when someone came to visit me. Before this dream, I did not have any recollection of the first part. I always have a hard time sharing my emotions with anybody. I know many times I think I fool myself into thinking that I don't feel anything when I actually do.

At the end of the workshop, I realized my need to fix everything and having control over all situations. I have committed to accepting people and situations as they are. I also would like to start a Tribe in [City]. I made three commitments after this workshop:

Accept people as they are and accept myself as I am. Create a trading tribe in the Twin Cities to help me and the members of the tribe. Spend most time in the important and less urgent quadrant. Test the system based on the gut.

Before I end the summary, I would like to share an incident with you. After attending the workshop, I have been following the kids lead on getting them ready and not keep pushing them to get ready because the time is ticking. It seems to be working much better and I am still getting them ready on time. Most importantly, my son is talking to me on the car instead of crying. Yesterday morning, I was taking my four year old to his pre-school.

While talking on the way, he said, "Dad, I want to tell you something." It is his way of starting a sentence when he would try to describe one of his toys. He ended up saying, "You know dad, you make me happy." I was so glad to hear it come from his mouth. I could notice the tears coming out of my eyes – I had never felt so proud. On top of that today, when I dropped him, he asked "Dad can you pick me up from school?"

This was the first time he asked that, before he always asked, "Can mom pick me up or drop me?" I remembered your statement, "you don't see the change suddenly people around you become nicer." I can never thank you enough. I hope to visit the Austin Tribe as a visitor sometime next year.

With Regards

Thank you for sharing your process and insights and for documenting the Workshop.

Sep 20, 2013

Workshop Report - Releasing the Drama

Hi Ed,

Greetings from a cantaloupe whose head just exploded!

I learn a lot at the workshop from you and from all the other participants.

I get inspired as well:when I see someone coming from the other part of the world to stop yelling at his kids I am deeply moved!

Thank you also for getting me and for showing me how I make up my own drama:you really let me get into it until I can't take it anymore.

I want to acknowledge here my intention of running my hot seat drama and of coming up with made up issues and made up solutions.

I am very happy to share that I begin the process of shutting down the family fund I manage! And I do it with no drama at all, neither with my parents nor with the service providers.

I feel relief and I realize that I cannot handle managing my parents' money. There is too much that comes with it. I also realize that as long as I am financially dependent from them I am also emotionally dependent and much more likely to run into huge drama. And 90% of my drama is limited to family: it just disappears as soon as I get out and connect with other people. I also realize that people are here to help me and not to get me. I fear them and their judgment and being myself and openly sharing much less than before.

The workshop helps me also realize that I can do good stuff as well and that I am not worthless and that as soon as I really focus on supporting others all my drama disappears.
I also feel that I pick this TTP stuff up real quick: I see a lot of progress in myself and I begin to notice other people's forms and just sense where there's an issue. I also become more trusting of my feelings and I second guess them much less. I also realize that this TTP stuff is really powerful and some of it I learn directly, some of it just pops up from nowhere.

As an example,I want to share with you something that happened the day before I left Europe for the workshop: as I was sharing some feelings with my parents my mum asked me with a trembling voice "What have I done wrong, what could I have done differently to allow you to share and be open as a kid?".

I immediately felt sad and somehow guilty or responsible for it and I started crying and saying that I love them and that I couldn't and didn't want to answer such a question and that I am not their judge etc. and then all of a sudden I looked her in her eyes, smiled and said: "Unless of course you do not want to use my answer to punish and criticize yourself as you always do". And I said that with no judgement, just as a statement of fact, with full acceptance. It was as she broke from a trance: she repeated that phrase a few times, smiling,then went into her own process for a couple minutes and then burst out laughing: drama gone!

And I do not know how I came up with such an answer: it just was there for me to use it, automatically.

I am happy to confirm my intention to attend the next Austin Tribe meeting, which I want to use as a chance to say thank you and goodbye to all of you! I am now into the business of finding a good, fun job to support my girlfriend as well as to give me the emotional and financial stability to begin trading again with my own money.

Because that is what I know: I am a trader! That is what I am supposed to do. I just can't find a better game to play. I do not need to come to Austin to play drama again, since much of it has just disappeared.

I also share with you that my intention is for you to host the next workshop in Europe, because as much as I like you I also like a nice, short flight!

Thanks to you and to the whole Workshop Tribe,

Thank you for sharing your process.

Sep 19, 2013

Issues

Chief Ed,

[City] Tribe is looking forward to your visit and working with you on TT and Rocks processes. For a long time, I'm working on

1. Maintaining Zero Variance versus the system: I'm getting better but no where close to the zero variance. Because of a full time job, I'm unable to implement short term time frame system. I therefore need to trade only the long term signals and let the system lead the trade/signals to its end. But once I miss a fresh signal based on long term system, I then try to enter in its direction based on short term system and either make small profits or close out at break even if it goes against me at first.

2. Committing to my long time girlfriend: Issues of differences in some aspects of our lives make me think more about differences and I am therefore not yet wiling to commit.

3. Keeping paperwork/affairs organized: It's been a long time that I've made a list of things to keep organized- bills, tax preparation, will/trust etc. I follow through for some stretches of time and then let it pile up for months and then re-organize for another short span. I wish to keep this part of my life not only organized but maintain it every month.

4. Achieving Right Livelihood: In the 1990s, my fund was ranked #1 on a consistent and long term basis - 1, 3 5 years etc. I'm a successful trader and a money manager. But I feel that I can be a "super trader" in the vein of many of the market wizards. I've yet to achieve that and feel that time is passing away. I found a company and sold it to a larger financial institution. Looking back, better decision is to keep plugging at it instead of selling but that is the right decision for that time. Sometimes I compare myself to others in the profession/classmates/friends, I feel that my financial net worth is not commensurate with my talents and potential.

I don't know if all of these are related issues (1 and 4 are related) but at times feel that there is one root cause which I intend to work on when you visit. Thanks.

Thank you for enumerating your issues.

You might consider taking your feelings about <commitment> and <comparing to others> to Tribe as entry points.

Sep 19, 2013

TTP Workshop Report - Important and Urgent

Ed,

I feel that I entered the workshop with excitement and a desire to work on some issues that confound me in my everyday life. The issues were enjoying success and dealing with the control elements of trying to fix others. The group received them and Ed made a commitment to help with all of the groups issues by the end of the weekend. The memory of this feels a bit like a trade in that my self improvement would have a beginning, like an entry, a period of movement and then an exit. The end of the meeting being like an exit.

During the workshop we worked on many processes. During our work, a feeling of jealously began to form inside of me. Many of the participants were "hot" and were receiving help on their issues but I believed that I had nothing to make me want to get into the hot seat. By the end of the workshop I began to feel like a drain. I was only providing support for others and I did not create an opportunity to do that for the other members of the tribe.

The final thing I want to mention about the workshop is the work we did to address urgency and importance. I found that the exercise was extremely useful for me as it compelled me to think about the meaning of importance. Sometimes I confuse importance with desire. I also need to make things important to me that are important to my most important tribe. Hearing from the group that mundane things can be important was very refreshing for me. I commit to incorporating the importance-urgency grid in my everyday life.

Finishing up the workshop I reflected my application. As part of my application to the workshop I spoke of trying to live more in the grey and less in a black and white world. Many of the negative feelings I experienced were a result of my black and white thinking. On the way home, the grayer I tried to make my feelings on the experience, the more energy I felt and the more I looked at the gains I had achieved.

This brings me to my AHAs. Once I realized that the jealously I felt as a result about not being hot, the more I realized that I might have an issue wanted to confront urgent, or large issues. This feeling may have the effect of implying that small problems are not worthy of my time or efforts. To develop this area, I focused on little problems all week. I cut the lawn, cleaned the porch, am selling the oven in my garage, I washed my cars and I played catch with my son. The energy and happiness created from working on these small things was very rewarding for me. I have no doubt that I will be hot in the future but in the meantime, I commit to focusing a bit of my time on a daily basis to small problems.

My second AHA was the control element of wanting to fix others. I went back to my desire to live in the grey. I think the relationship model that works best for me involves some control elements and some intimacy elements, similar to my trading which involves risk control while living in the now. I have not figured out what this will ultimately look like but providing guidance is part of my "right livelihood" and I commit to exploring this feeling in future tribe work.

In closing, looking at self improvement like trading is a great comfort to me. There will be times when I take from the group, like there are times when the market will take from me. There will also be times when I enrich the group through AHAs, like there are times when the market will provide profits to me. I believe that this is the largest AHA and one that motivates me to embrace the TTP process."

I believe I am also ready to visit the Austin tribe. I believe I meet the prerequisites but wanted to know if there is anything that I may not be aware of regarding this commitment. Please include me on the invite if it is your intention for me to attend.

Please feel free to share any feelings that this e-mail or your work with me have provided you.

Kind Regards,

Thank you for sharing your process.

As a Workshop graduate, you may attend Austin Tribe Meetings on September 26, October 17 and November 7 and 21.

Sep 18, 2013

TTP In Therapy

Dear Ed,

I am happy to give you a brief update on the issue of relationship dynamics as I see it reflected in a couple I am working with in marriage counseling.

This couple has been stuck in the "blame game", wherein each one basically says, "I wouldn't do this (e.g. yell, shut down, retaliate, etc.) if you didn't do that first". And around we go, since the system remains stable based on each one holding onto his or her position as the injured, and righteously indignant, party.

Yesterday, something dramatically different happens in their session.

First, the normally non-feeling husband admits that he felt "a little sad" when the wife did her usual withdraw, pout and stay angry routine the previous day. It appears that he showed that he was a little sad, rather than becoming frustrated and stalking off, which is his usual response.

Then the wife says, "I was doing my usual thing of angry detachment when I noticed that he was withdrawing, but not in his usual way. I said to myself, 'something I am doing is causing him to do that', and so I stopped walking away and told him I didn't want to do that anymore. He turned back to me and we had a really good conversation, probably the best we've had in years."

I am reporting this because I never would have bet that this couple would have an exchange like this. I believe it is a direct result of the change in my understanding of relationship dynamics as reflected in TTP and working in my Tribe.

I am happy and excited and encouraged. Oh, and by the way, it's strongly affected my own personal relationships as well. I share this example rather than one of my own because it is such an explicit demonstration of relationship dynamics.

Everybody in the system wins.

Thank you for sharing your process and your increasingly easy effectiveness with clients.



When The Therapist
resolves her own issues


the clients remember
how to love each other.

http://moms.mylifetime.com/love-and-sex/lost-tunnel-love-my-time-couples-therapy

Sep 18, 2013

[City] Trading Tribe Report

Hi Ed,

There were only four members in the meeting. We feel relaxed after drumming and no-one was hot. The meeting evolved into sharing of our existing medicinal behavior patterns, observing our personal growth and affirming our desire to continue with the Rocks process.

This was the shortest meeting we have. But we all feel that it was beneficial, this meeting help us built trust, gives us a needed break after several intense meetings, and rejuvenates us for the next stage of growth.

# Not able to put the new resources into practice

The Hot Seat, Tribe Report dated August 7, 2013, reported that the new resources he received from the rocks process not helping with his latest encounter with his father. His medicinal pattern was not replaced by the new resource that was given in the rocks process. One of the new tools he accepted into the new rock was to cool down, take some deep breaths when under stress before taking action. He said, he knew he should have waited but he just couldn't.

I was reading and stumbled onto a proposed solution. The author said to change our response under a stressful situation we have to practice our new response. And to be able to take a few deep breaths and cool down during a stressful situation, we need to practice deep breathing or meditation frequently / everyday. I will suggest that to the HS in our next meeting.

# Ed's observation on For-giving the medicinal Rock

I was role playing the Hot Seat's mother, when the HS retorted, that the medicinal rock I so lovingly gave him did not work for me nor for my mother, I felt a little uneasy but continued with the role playing. Now I realize that uneasiness is the hurt of being criticized! We would definitely discuss the alternate response suggested by Ed. "It might work for you, it does not work for me!"

# Ed's suggestion of resources in the pro-active Rock

Ed questioned why we have not included resources for HS to receive other's feelings. The tribe suggested resources to share Hot Seat's feeling with others. We thought, once HS is able to share his feelings, others would understand how he feels and be able to response to his needs.

When we first formed the Tribe, we went through the Trading Tribe Process which includes exercise to receive other's feelings, when a member share "What are you feeling now!", we would say "Thank you for sharing!". That may be enough and if we can go beyond that, the HS can respond by rephrasing what the other person is feeling, and the next step is to find something to agree with in what they have said. Then the other would have felt that the HS understood their feelings and position and in-turn would be more open to consider the HS's feelings and needs.

# What to do next after a the pro-active Rock did not take hold?

I am thinking may be a new rocks process is the answer. I think it will be beneficial for the HS to go through a new rocks process with the modified ways to For-giving the medicinal Rock, and adding new resources to the pro-active Rock. A new rocks process offer the HS opportunity to practice the new resources in a simulated stressful situation, it will help the new resources take root.

# Anticipating Growth

I am looking forward to our Tribe Meeting today, I want to volunteer for a hot seat to explore my fear and uneasy feeling when my daughter recently told us she is seeing a much older man.

Thank you for sharing your process.

You might consider implementing the Heart Rock with further role playing.

Sep 18, 2013

TTP Workshop Report - Choosing Right Livelihood

Hi Ed

Thank you for your generosity in sharing so much with us during the TTP Workshop in Austin. Thank you also for inviting us as your guests to the lunch on Sunday Afternoon.

I gain 2 pounds during the course of the Workshop – but of course, it is my intention to do so.

I also find Right Livelihood.

However – I do not discover it in the form I expect before the Workshop. It turns out that Right Livelihood is not an answer, job description, or career – but rather, a Path and Way of life.

Right Livelihood is about empowering others. It is fractal in nature – and applies across every level of our existence – from choosing how we live our lives, the work we do, how we interact with our families – all the way down to each and every single action we take.

I take the hotseat during the Workshop with my issue of "Finding Right Livelihood" as an entry point. We go through the Rocks Process to replace some of my medicinal response patterns with a proactive "heart" resource (sharing and receiving feelings).

The tribe sets up a final role play around my current job to "test" how I apply my new resources. Instead of resolving the specific issue that we start with (related to my work), the tribe helps me discover a deeper underlying issue:

"I have an issue with willingness to commit to Right Livelihood. I still create dramas by trying to fix people, and float around without clearly knowing what I want myself."

I just can't seem to be able to move forward in my current work situation (in the role play, as well as in real life). I feel confused – and unable to use my proactive resources in this situation with my current "boss" – in spite of "Tech Support" provided by Ed and the Tribe.

Ed tells me that I'm on my own here. I am floating around and not committing – and TTP cannot provide me with the "willingness" to do so.

I am still in a hazy / trance like state yet I feel like the hotseat is complete at this stage. It is a clear outcome, even though I don't get "the answer" or move forward in the final role play with regard to my current work situation.

However, I know now exactly where I stand in the process.

Right Livelihood is a Choice, and the Choice is up to me.

I remain somewhat confused during the evening after the hotseat session, yet feel like I've taken a step forward. Things get clearer during a long walk I take in Austin later in the evening and by the time I come back, I write an e-mail to my wife sharing the essence of the experience – and the priority I want to place on family.

By the next morning, I have a sense of clarity, purpose, and deep knowing of what I want in line with Right Livelihood.

Coincidentally (or rather - Intentionally,) the last day of the workshop is about declaring one aspect of our Right Livelihood, committing to it, and setting ourselves up with the support of others to enable follow through. We create bumper stickers to check with our fellow Workshop Participants if we might truly empower others through the work we intend to do.

Mine reads (after the 3rd iteration): "I safeguard and grow liquid capital for select investors".

By the end of the session, I have eight powerful people on my support team, all intending to support me in making this happen. I declare a launch date for my Managed Accounts Business of January 1st, 2014 (with intermediate deadlines set of November 1st and December 1st)

I am also on the support team of ten other declarants.

I feel energized, engaged, and empowered!

In addition, I also participate in two other Rocks Processes during the Workshop – one of which visibly moves me: Hotseat, in his final role play with his "proactive, sharing feelings resource", let's his father know "I just want to play with you".

This resonates with me at a deep level. I realize this is what I want too. I am in tears during the checkout of this particular session as I share my feelings with the participants. I feel that this may be what my children want as well, and I have not always been there for them. The tears have the mixed taste of deep joy that comes with discovering an essential truth, as well as the sadness of missed opportunities.

I want to spend more time with my family and miraculously, circumstances on the other side of the Atlantic conspire with me as I travel back home – including cancelled meetings that enable me to spend my first day back at home and pick up the kids from school!

Intentions = Results

I feel good, with an open, expansive feeling in my chest – a warm feeling of "knowing" that things are right, enthusiasm for manifesting my declared intention, and gratitude for receiving so much support as well as having an opportunity to serve others on their journey.

I'm loving the ride!

Thank you Ed, once again, for blazing the trail.

Thank you for sharing your process and for documenting the meeting.

Sep 18, 2013

Sibling Trap - Dealing with Alcohol

Hi Ed,

I read Grof 167-219. I am moved by the reading. I seek to share with a sibling. Wow. I fall for my own silliness every time when it comes to my siblings. I try in my mind to communicate from a intimacy-centric POV. Perhaps I succeed but what comes back feels Control-Centric and evasive.

Let me think. SVO-p. I call my older sister and share my reading as we have shared growing up in same home. I hope to share the potential of Holotropic therapy though I have only read about it. Admittedly, she asks many questions about my experience in Ed's workshop, as I share some of that too, for context and background.

Then, quickly, she jumps topic…like a record skipping to an entirely different song! She asks about my son, where he is going to school. Then I realize, nothing has changed. She cannot hold a topic more than a minute and then manically jumps away to something else, something innocuous and non-committal, mundane. If pressed she will find an excuse to get off the phone.

Is it fair to say she is an alcoholic? Even sober, which she was today (I think, unless I was fooled), she skips and flits about. As to me, I am long term sober after battling the family disease…working on my 8th year of greater clarity.

Can I resolve this sibling conflict, expectation unmet, illusion I lapse into thinking when I call "it will be different this time" and get to a zero point? Yes. It pains me. And I welcome the feeling. I feel disappointment yet learn not to reject it. I get a text from a friend, and she seeks advice. I am supportive and encouraging, like a Field of Acknowledgement.

When a person, like my sister, is sitting out there, in the Field of Acknowledgement, but seeming to disconnect and flicker like a weak circuit, I resolve this issue (my emotion) through acceptance. I accept I cannot control, and this makes the tension melt away. I know my sister is on drugs, and has been for a long time. The doctors give them to her, and she chooses to receive them, and this makes communication in the normal sense (i.e. rational, connected, focused) impossible.

Though I cannot and maybe should not seek to control her, I can feel blessed I am not following this chemical, artificial path. And for the record, she is not some super hard case. Just an everyday neurotic in a big Northeastern City.

I am on my business e-mail so I think I will save this and continue on my personal e-mail.

Thank you for sharing your process and your struggle to let go of fixing your sister.



When the Codependent
Disengages


he creates a space
for the addict
to take responsibility.

http://www.brighteyecounselling.co.uk/alcohol-drugs/am-i-an-alcoholic/

Sep 18, 2013

Austin TTP Workshop Report - Funky Stuff

Ed,

Thanks for the workshop – I've learned a lot about trading, feelings and how they go together.

I believe it when you say that what I won't feel will run my life. I feel I've got a "ton" of suppressed painful feelings and I'm beginning to see how avoiding them has damaged my relationships, especially at work.

During the seminar, I take the hot seat in your group but nothing happens. Internally, I'm not clear on what is the problem that I want to work on. I feel that I don't want to feel it (if that makes any sense). We stop and move to another hot seat. It's OK with me – I don't want to slow things down for everyone else.

We form new groups, You (Ed) are not in my group and we do two hot seats. In the first we are analytical / rational and no forms develop – this not surprising to me.

In the 2nd hot seat, the process manager keeps us focused on feelings. We pick up some forms and encourage them but not a lot seems to be happening. Then I remember the hot seat would wave his arms over his head while we were seated at the table so I encourage him to do that. As soon as he does, a new form, painful coughing/choking, emerges. We encourage that and the other forms. He heaves back and forth with the coughing.

The hot seat remembers scoring well in a Math Olympiad in high school but when he told his parents he wanted to major in Math or Physics, they both discouraged him and suggested Accounting.

He developed a dislike of Accounting and now doesn't like to compute his daily portfolio risk. It's an important task and should only take a few minutes per position.

We go through the Rocks Process and replace the "Shut Down for Accounting" Medicinal Rock with a "Send and Receive All Feelings" Heart Rock.

The next day we check in and the hot seat said that he woke up early, as he usually does, and went through his portfolio and calculated his risk. We all cheered and clapped.

Thank you for the offer to attend the Austin Tribe meetings – I accept and I will attend starting with the one after September 26th – I have a commitment in [City] early in the morning on the 27th.

My big goal from the workshop is "I feel all my feelings; I share them with others & I receive all their feelings." (Basically, a Heart Rock).

I've started receiving others feelings and it's quite interesting. Since I'm busy receiving, I don't have time for the other drama that usually starts up.

E.g., I was in the kitchen at work this morning and someone was buzzing about me looking through drawers for something. I started to get annoyed ("Wait Your Turn!") and then I switched to receiving her busy searching and the drama was gone. Funky stuff, this TTP!

See you at the Breathwork weekend.

Thank you for sharing your process and for documenting the meeting.

Sep 18, 2013

Fear, Shame and Dread

Ed,

Concerning an earlier post (SEPT 16, 2013), perhaps a clarification or discussion is needed to to classify the fear.
In the example you gave about rescuing a child, I wondered would I feel fear, or very great concern for the safety of the child?

Shame and or fear could enter the picture, if I acted because I thought society would hold it against me for not acting. Yet, the risk of me not safely rescuing the child, and thus harming myself could be cause for feeling shame if influenced by the judgement of others. While mangled in the street, people remark.."what was he thinking?..No way he could have made it." Fear can kill.

Shame has to be societal in nature? I am realizing that the shame I feel in some instances, comes from the rocks planted by other people. Or is the better phrase, allowed to be planted? .. I suppose could be both.

In my interactions with some of my relatives, feelings of dread, and increased dramatic actions arise from my fear of making a wrong decision.

The feelings and actions arise so much so that I think that I must have a field full of rocks, so much so that your cattle would starve finding something to graze on.

Life is better for me if I simply take a deep breath and stay in the NOW, and stay from some relatives.

Thank you for sharing your process.

You might consider taking your feelings about <shame> and <dread> to Tribe as entry points.


Shame

has a positive intention

of keeping you
from harming others.

http://www.thetwincoach.com/2012/07/
motherhood-and-parenting-are-shame.html

Sep 18, 2013

Workshop Report - Personal AHA

Dear Ed,

I thank you for the workshop and for accepting my application to attend.

I experience many aha's during the workshop.

I experience TTP as a positive feedback loop system designed to deliver exponential personal growth.

I did not sit on TTP hot seat. I did not intend to. Results = Intentions.

I arrive at workshop with feelings I have been sitting on Nature's hot seat.

I experience much loss, sadness, guilt and anger during Nature's extended version of the hot seat.

I role play in a hot seat session. Hot seat continually tries to fix me with every new turn of the role play.

I notice I do not like being fixed. I notice I am good at role playing a hard ass.

I notice the look on hot seat's face when he arrives at his personal aha.

I notice we arrive at our personal aha's at different times during the process.

I feel my personal aha. I recall this feeling from prior growth periods in my life.

I feel good about the hot seat session.

Hottest Regards.

Thank you for sharing your process and for documenting the meeting.

Sep 18, 2013

Austin Workshop Report - Doing the Math

Dear Ed:

My first aha came on my way to the Workshop. I plugged the address of the Holiday Inn into my cell phone but as I neared the destination, the battery died. This created some drama and some detours and I landed in the wrong Holiday Inn. However, I was still on time as I had some "cushion".

The aha was that I need a "drama cushion" in my trading - stops should never be tight and my trading plan should incorporate the fact that I will errors due to drama.

I got a lot out of the Austin Workshop.

At the meeting I am the father of a person on the hot seat. He is working on his issue of yelling at his kids. His body shakes non stop for a long time. His mother mistrusts his father - this creates drama and the father leaves.

At another hot seat, I am the process manager - I realize how hard it is to manage. Ed makes it look so easy. Our group has some difficulty getting to a deep issue. 2 people who think they are hot go for it - but the process appears to be superficial. We all acknowledge this. In the meantime, the group next to ours seems to be going really deep and they are very loud. I feel slightly jealous.

The next day on the hot seat - I work on an issue that i have - I am unable to compute my portfolio risk. I suddenly become really hot - my throat hurts and I cough. I remember when I was about 15 and 1st in high school - we had a Math Olympiad. There were several thousand students competing and I placed 2nd.

I am excited - and sure that I want to be a mathematician as I love math and physics. When I tell my parents this - they start talking me out of this - saying there is no future in math. My mom is convinced I should be an accountant because my cousins husband is a CPA and doing well. My father has other plans for me.

I continue to have issues with accounting after this - at business school - I get a C in accounting - my only C. In the businesses that I run, I have difficulty with basic accounting.

The next morning, I just calculate my risk - it takes about 15 minutes and there is no drama. I am amazed. TTP works!!

As we end the workshop - each of us states our goals and we look to support each other. I feel that I am already over committed and its not right for me to offer to help. I feel bad. However, I am glad that others can help members of the group.

I feel we did some really serious work during the workshop that will have a lasting impact on our lives. I feel grateful to be part of the Tribe.

Thank you for sharing your process and insights on m-m-m-m-math.


Math Has Something To Do
with numbers

and a lot to do
with feelings about math.

http://sayingtshirt.com/dear-math-im-not-a-therapist-solve-your-own-problems/

Sep 17, 2013

Life Lessons

Dear Ed,

I remember you almost every day.

The reason being the lessons you teach about Life.

Just read this : Never be ashamed of what you feel. You have the right to feel any emotion that you want, and to do what makes you happy.

Till I read FAQ, I suppress my feelings. I do not allow myself to truly feel what I am experiencing.

I start reading about Ed to learn about trading. But instead anything of trading I learn a lot about Life.

I start feeling better and rational.

Lots of hugs from my side.

I love you. You have been like a fatherly figure and in my life all my tutors have been exceptional. My mom, my father, My sister, My school Principal, My school tutors, Warren, Charlie, Peter Lynch, Ed .....

Thank you so much.

Best wishes,

Thank you for sharing your process and for your encouragement.

Sep 17, 2013

Receiving in the Workplace

Hi Ed,

The second day of my new job, a co-worker comes to my office. He says he has been busy these couple days, otherwise he should have come to say Hi to me yesterday. He is fire fighting to fix some issue and under stress. I start receiving him and say, "I can tell you really look like that. Your face looks red and you look very stressed. Thank you for telling me that. Good luck."

Somehow I feel my way of receiving, especially saying his forms, like "your face looks red" might be a little overdone. I am concerning this may provoke his feeling of invasion or being observed. Maybe just saying " Thank you for tell me that, you really look under stress" is a better way.

I appreciate your input.

Thanks,

Thank you for sharing your process and for raising the issue of "how far to go" with TTP in the workplace.

In general, you can practice active listening as much as you like. You can also agree with someone or say something like, "I can relate to that," when someone makes a self-referential statement.

If you go a step further and start identifying someone else's forms without his permission, you might embarrass him.

If you go even further and start insisting others listen to you and otherwise practice TTP, you might expect to offend or alienate them.


Listen Here, You Idiot

I want you to start using

the intimacy-centric model.

http://da-wabbit.deviantart.com/art/Collar-Grab-48238001

Sep 17, 2013

More On Now

Dear Ed,

I wonder if you are willing to expand on your reply to my comments about being in the now (Can't Elope, Sept.16). I feel a bit puzzled, and while I am fine with that feeling, I also feel that, since FAQ is about sharing knowledge, I want to further clarify the idea of NOW for myself and possibly for the numerous other contributors who write in with questions about being in the now.

I compare my feelings to what I imagine it might be like to be a cantaloupe that is ready to pop. This image seems to me like the essence of being in the moment. I then basically elaborate by saying I don't care about the past, or the future, or about an analysis of my adequacy.

Your response suggests that I have "concerns" about the past and future, and therefore I am not in the now. I wonder if saying "I don't care about the future" means you really are concerned about the future.

I wonder if talking at all, even to describe one's feelings to others, constitutes not being in the now because one is talking about how one feels. Maybe that's why the yogis are up on the mountaintops not talking to anybody.

You then say that real cantaloupes don't write to FAQ. This may be related to your concept that TTP and FAQ all become irrelevant when everyone is in the now. I am not clear, though, what you mean to convey to me, who is writing to FAQ to share feelings.

Your answers are often profound and require willingness to be open to new ways of looking at things, which I definitely feel I am. So I'd like to see if I am perhaps missing something by not understanding your answer.

Or perhaps you are simply a squash kind of guy.

 

Thank you for raising these issues.

Your notion of "ready to pop" indicates currently not popping and also some awareness of the future in which a pop supposedly happens. You might compare this notion with simply "feeling full now" that has no anticipation of events to come.

I happen to raise a few cantaloupes on my Circle TT Ranch. As such, I occasionally enjoy communing with them and watching them grow. I have yet to find a popping cantaloupe or one that anticipates popping - although I know of some that detach from the vine, split, attract insects and eventually rot.



Recent Advances
in genetic engineering


may someday help people
stay in the now
and "think like a melon."

http://guenthermedia.com/blog/

Sep 16, 2013

TTP Report - Developing Intimacy

Ed,

We begin by drumming. I feel relaxed. The process manager (PM) asks if there are any who want to work. Several tribe members (tm) raise their hands. He asks that they describe a problem and what they want differently. They must define a goal or solution and describe what they want.

One tribe member (tm) says he wants to change his trading strategy and that what he is doing currently is much too volatile. He also shares he wants to learn to listen to his wife without disconnecting. Another tm shares he wants to present a pitch for his fund. Another tm wants to have more sex and expresses specifically that he wants to have more sex several times a week with one consistent partner. Another tm wants to receive his wife's feelings but is shutting down. Another tm reports from a previous process regarding his desire to be an animator that he wants to present sketches and show his progress. He states he is planning to put together an animation for an upcoming event. He seems very excited and I notice real progress.

The tm shares his pitch for his fund and another tm plays the role of potential investor. The tm shares the information, his feelings and develops rapport. I find the transaction interesting and enlightening.

The tm who shuts down when his wife unloads on him goes on the hot seat. The PM tests for willingness and the tribe is about 50/50. Eventually, the tm gets into a form and recalls a time when he is 12 years old. He is playing with a neighbor friend and they enroll a younger child in their game. The child's father is the chief of police and the child maybe gets a mild rope burn. The child tells his mother and the tm is accused of bullying the younger child. The police pick him up at home after contacting his mother. He is taken to the police station and interrogated. The whole experience is extremely traumatic and fearful. Another tribe member and myself question him about the accusation of bullying.

I feel this process brings up some feelings about being bullied myself and the same for the other tm. Interestingly, we put together a drama and we play the bullies.

We recreate the drama and I think we use almost the entire tribe. A surrogate is played by the PM at points to illustrate sharing and receiving feelings. I definitely feel the difference when feelings are shared and received. I notice a major difference in my physical body as I play the role of one of the police officers. In the end the tm gets a new rock that allows him to share and receive feelings even in this traumatic situation. I notice during the tm's discussion of relating to his wife that

I, in the past, have played both roles of shutting down or venting toxically. I notice in my relationship with my girlfriend that there are times I want to express something and I am not sure exactly how to express it. I just stay open though and receive whatever she wants to express.

We work another process where the tm wants to have sex several times a week. He has developed rapport with a woman and the woman has demonstrated she is attracted to him when they spend time together. He states he pulls away and does not ask her back to his home when this is the obvious next step. It seems to me he has a winning trade and is working to sabotage the trade.

I express he simply needs to ask her to his home and prepare a nice dinner…maybe sending her roses or flowers to her office might be nice. I notice the same feelings regarding my trading at times…I don't have to do anything at all but receive but there are many ways to close the door of communication in relationships and in trading and screw things up. I enjoy the tribe meeting very much and I find we are all just working on the same issues really.

It is all the same issue of wanting intimacy…to love and be loved. I feel so thankful to have such wonderful tribe members and Ed leading tribe. There are so many facets of each tribe meeting that are woven into my own experience of developing intimacy.
Thank you for sharing your process and for documenting the meeting.

Sep 16, 2013

Why

Ed,

In all your trading career (I guess more than 40 years), why did you chose the path of systematic trend following and not discretionary trading ? (Especially with your high knowledge of people/markets psychology and perception)

Thanks,

Thank you for raising several issues.

In the system model, we do not look for a why. We consider how policies and interactions interact to generate behavior.

I suppose, over my career, I can recall trying lots of things and making every mistake in the book, including thinking I know how to make every mistake in the book.



You Can Make a Mistake

by not making
more mistakes.

http://blog.crunched.com/presentation-mistake-you-dont-know-youre-making/

Sep 16, 2013

TTP Report - Getting Some

Hi Ed,

We start the last tribe meeting with the usual drumming. I feel anger and sadness during the drumming.

We proceed with a check-in. Tribe members share how they feel in the now. Then, we do another check in. This time, tribe members share what is going on in their lives and any successes since the last tribe meeting. Finally, we go around the circle one more time. Tribe members who want to work on issues, share their issues briefly.

We start with a tribe member who recently starts a fund and wants to pitch his fund to investors. Another tribe member role plays the investor. The fund manager is the same tribe member who a few weeks ago cannot declare he has a fund before working on his issue. Now, he is pitching the fund to a sharp guy who understands the trading business very well. He is really making progress. He creates rapport with the prospect to find out if there is mutual interest. After the pitch, tribe members provide some suggestions such as working in the content of the pitch.

Then, another member, who is starting a career as an animator, brings sketches of some characters he is developing. The tribe provides some feedback such as working in the emotional expressions. Tribe member seems receptive and willing to try new things to create his animated story.

Another tribe member takes the hot seat. He wants to improve the communication with his wife. He works from home. He shares an event when the wife interrupts and overwhelms him with things during working hours. He shuts down and he does not know how to handle the situation.

Hot seat also shares that he is doing the process for his son. He thinks that his son is picking up his behavior. It seems to me that hot seat is actually doing the work for himself and his son is inspiring him to move forward with the process.

Hot seat gets into multiple forms. One of his forms is to turn his body like if he is running away from somebody. After freezing the forms, he recalls an event in a policy station. Two police officers are yelling at him. He ends up in the police station after playing a prank to a little kid. The little kid is the police chief's son. The kid complains and whines to his mom. The mom demands the father, the police chief, to do something about his son. He sends some officers to hot seat's home to arrest him and to teach him a lesson. When they arrive, the mother turns in hot seat to the police.

We role play the event. Hot seat is in the police station. The police officers are yelling at him. Hot seat shuts down and feels like running away. The tribe realizes that the more he shuts down, the more the officers yell at him. This is also an aha for me.

Then, the Process Manager (PM) acts as surrogate for hot seat. We role play the first part of the event when hot seat plays the prank to the little kid. The PM uses the intimacy model this time. I am role playing the little kid. I sense that hot seat cares about me. The outcome is different and there is no space for the original drama.

We role play the event again. Hot seat has the opportunity to for-give the medicinal rocks. The medicinal rocks are shutting down, crying and running away. The mother is the rock donor. I notice that hot seats' medicinal rocks usually appear at different stages during processes. The PM takes note and usually reminds role players which rocks hot seat receives from the donor.

After forgiving the medicinal rocks, hot seat receives a rock with proactive resources such as sharing and receiving feelings. Then, hot seat has the opportunity to practice the new resources.

I relate to this process. I recall being teased by older kids. I also whine and cry to my mother. I also recall playing the bully with smaller kids. In one opportunity, the kid's father yells at me like in the process. I recall shutting down, crying and also wanting to run away.

Finally, I take the hot seat. I share with the tribe that I want more sex in my life. I talk about a situation with a woman I date for a few weeks. We kiss and hug when we go out. However, I hesitate to ask her to go to my place or hers to have more fun. I share with the tribe that I feel some fear and anxiety. The PM suggests that I share how I feel with this woman. He also suggests role playing the situation. During role playing, I enjoy connecting with this lady and sharing how I feel.

Since the meeting, I do not see this lady again. I meet and date two new women. I particularly enjoy and connect with one of them. I feel surprise when she tells me that she is looking for a man who wants to connect and is open to share feelings. In general, I feel more confident meeting and dating women, and I am enjoying the process.

Thanks

Thank you for sharing your process and for documenting the meeting.


Relationships

have a lot to do

with sharing.

http://writetodone.com/the-culture-of-sharing-why-releasing-copyright-will-be-the-smartest-thing-you-do/
Sep 16, 2013

Trading Tribe Report - Dealing with Yelling

Ed,

The Chief goes around to each Tribe Member to see if there are any issues that anyone wants to work on. One Tribe Member wants to work on his sales pitch for his new futures trading fund. He role-plays with another Tribe Member. He is nervous but he handles himself well and creates good rapport with his mock customer. He is selling a fund with long term trading strategies while the potential customer is a high frequency trader. He gets feed back from the rest of the tribe. Mostly about asking more questions about the Tribe Member's high frequency trading strategy and if he would consider diversifying by investing in a fund with a long-term approach. I can relate to this situation because of my experience during a show and tell period in the 5th grade. While showing my drawings of comic book super heroes, some of the kids begin laughing and snickering. Then the teacher starts to roll her eyes and snicker too. I immediately shutdown and I feel embarrassment, humiliation, and rejection.

I bring drawings of characters for the animated film that I am making to the Tribe Meeting. I decide I want feedback as well and show them to the group. Everyone in the tribe gives me excellent feed back on how to improve the look of my characters. I receive recommendations on improving their anatomical appearance and advice that some of the characters aren't conveying the look I want. For example, the "Bully" figure doesn't seem too "bully" like. I also get a suggestion to learn to draw the emotional facial expressions to get the feel for each of the figures. I appreciate all of the comments and suggestions. During that process, I am not nervous at all and I am very receptive to the constructive criticism. I enjoy the process and receive energy from the experience.

The next Tribe Member who takes the hot seat wants to work on his relationship with his wife. He says that when she tries to tell him about things she is upset about he shuts down and literally runs away. She always comes in at an inopportune time such as when he is making a difficult trade. She starts to rant at him and he gets up and leaves the room while she is talking. He wants to be able to listen to her and not run away. He gets into a form and ratchets up the feeling. He remembers a time when he acts out a cartoon in which a noose is buried under the ground while it is looped above on a tree limb. Then a school bully persuades a young classmate into trying out the noose trick. They get the noose around his ankle but the Tribe Member and the bully have to pick him up and lift him to get the "cartoon" effect of the noose trick. The young boy is the Police Chief's son and he ends up with a rope burn on his ankle. The Hot Seat's mother yells at him for doing what he did and the police come by and pick him up. They take him to the police station and berate him and yell at him. At school, a kid also harasses him about the incident. During this entire episode he shuts down. We role-play this situation exactly as it happened.

Then we did a role-play using the resource of sharing feelings. I play the role of the Police Chief whose wife yells at him to "do something about the kid who did this terrible thing to their son". He feels compelled to have his deputies bring the Tribe Member in for a talking to. The Tribe member shares his feelings with his mother, the police officers and the harasser at school. This resource helps to create rapport with these participants and allows him to express his feelings. I have felt shut down like this before when I was a young boy I went to a man who owned a local convenience store to look for a job. He yelled that he didn't have any work for me and said for me to get out of his store and go look somewhere else.


Thank you for sharing your process and for raising the issue of yelling.



The Volume Increases

when they detect
you not listening.

http://organize4results.com/2012/04/speak-up-and-be-heard/
Sep 16, 2013

Sticking to What

Dear Ed,

It occurs to me I may be wearing an Intention that is keeping members away from my Tribe.

If Intentions = Results, and I believe they do, then My Tribe membership Results speak loudly to my Intensions.

Despite not having members in my Tribe, I continually grow and learn.

But there is a judge working awfully hard in my life, my Conscious Mind. Too hard, I think, and this is noticeable to other people, and it is not magnetic.

Facial expressions, body language, expose inner feelings, even if I consciously try to suppress them, or it (the Judge). Maybe the Judge is actually my Fred tossing up signals and creating a certain level of drama?

I just read the 20 Donchian Trading Tips. They are very appealing and sensible. I sent them over to my office for further use and reference.

I remember the charts and trading logs that were on this link before. I found that multi-commodity trading system very intimidating. I studied the return sequences carefully (in the trade logs), starting at several different times to simulate the risk of starting at a high point and declining quickly in whipsaws, or declining slowly over months.

Recovery did come, but in some instances it was many months, or even a year as I recall. I questioned how much grit I or a client would have in the real world trying to ride out the whips and draw-downs, despite knowing Sticking With The System rules would bring sparkling results, eventually. Well, we don't really know this, but if we stay with trends, go with them, and get off losses quickly…how can we get that wrong, unless we use some security that simply does not trend well.

Kind regards,

Thank you for raising the issue of designing a system and then sticking to it.



Sticking to a System

might prove harder

than designing it.

http://drdivaphd.wordpress.com/2013/02/26/
overcoming-flypaper-living/
Sep 16, 2013

Intimacy Centric / Control Centric in Primary Relationship

Dear Ed,

I just read "Tribe Report: Relationship Dynamics" in latest FAQ. I had passed over it earlier. It looked long, technical, and much better written than what I had tried to express.

However, I just inhaled two grilled cheese with homegrown tomato sandwiches that my wife made for me, and I am back, refreshed. I do not know why I broke into a sweat earlier. But it is gone and all is well.

I read Ed's definition of Control Centric couples behavior model compared to Intimacy Centric Model. I think about this in context of well documented TTP process described by apparent therapist.

I recall that just last night I went to my wife, who was reading in bed, and asked for advice. I explained that lately I was straddling two groups of people, politically very different. I explained that I both liked and disliked aspects of each group's beliefs. One group is conservative, the other liberal. Both groups seem to invite me to get-togethers and I feel awkward. I feel I am being pulled to throw in with one group or the other, and I do not feel like confronting this directly with my new friends.

Unfortunately the discussion, if it be called that, me asking for advice … it declines into argument. I feel my wife jumped to a conclusion. I thought my behavior was intimate, sharing an inner concern, but perhaps it was just controlling. The argument got started when I mentioned the I-Ching, which I've begun using lately from time to time. My wife got very judgmental about the I Ching, which led me to defend it, and challenge her that she did not know anything about it, which she did not. Then the Christian Bible and God came up and I kind of blew my stack thinking she was pulling some holier than thou attitude on me, and I called her on it. Her response to this was to get out of bed, leave the room, go into the bathroom and lock the door. In other words, get lost, buster!

I sat for a few minutes, not exactly bewildered at what had happened, but by no means happy with the outcome. In retrospect, I cannot chalk up the exchange to being Intimacy Centric because it led almost directly to an argument.

This may sound off-topic as I am not expressing this in terms of a tribe meeting.

That is because I have a tribe and no members except me. This makes interaction rather limited and difficult. I am being facetious as there is no one in my Tribe to interact with. I sometimes think I meet people with enough of an open mind to give TTP a try, but I live in a rural town, a bedroom community for professionals. Because I am a professional financial advisor, people may be reluctant to enter into anything tribe-like. They may think it is a sales pitch?

Back to the exchange with my wife, I think we both struggle with patterns of response that we've formed over time, largely during events in the distant past, when we would fight while under the influence of alcohol. We both stopped drinking several years ago. But the patterns are still there. Seigel refers to state shifting and self-organizing in a dyadic system in ways that state of mind is activated by environment, sometimes in old ways no longer true. But a tone of voice can trigger a whole set of responses and communication suddenly is hijacked to a different place … perhaps from Intimacy-Centric to Control Centric!

My wife and I work together. We own a business wherein I am advisor and she is office manager, for the most part. Perhaps this is not so different from working at home. Certainly, it is a LOT of time spent together, and it is not Intimate-Centric at the office. I am quite sure it is Control-Centric. And neither of us are to fond of this set-up, but change is very hard for us. How is it change is so hard when two people want it so badly. One has to take the lead, but when this happens, so often, it seems resented!

I feel I must add something positive, if only for karma's sake. I am losing weight (fat) and getting stronger thanks to intense and regular workouts. I am making new friends. But you see…there is this I, I, I…where is the WE?

"Rigid styles of communicating and unwillingness to enter into intense sharing of primary emotional states may lead to a sense of "deadness" in a relationship." [Siegel, The Developing Mind, How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are]

I believe I need to make a conscious effort to share primary emotional states with my wife in an Intimacy Centric model of communication, and be watchful for the Control Centric behaviors, at home and at the office…especially at the office, which can seamlessly carry over into the home relationship!

Kind regards,

Thank you for sharing your process.

You might consider participating in an experimental TTP Workshop for couples.



A Couple

has an existence,
feelings and rocks.

http://www.fanpop.com/clubs/love-stories/images/15142614/title/couples-love-photo
Sep 16, 2013

Long-Term Effects of TTP

Dear Ed,

I attend Reno Workshop in 2008 or 2009. Read The Trading Tribe. Experience Rocks.

Years later in ever-evolving Now, feel past, present and future exist for me simultaneously.

What maters most is Present. I study systems dynamics and now I think more like that. I found open-source course and learn the basics.

My friendship developed at your workshop with insightful Charles Faulkner yields suggestion. Gentle too. He suggests perhaps The Developing Mind, Daniel Siegel.

Reading in this book expands my understanding of Mind. Nothing has helped more than Ed's "cartography of the mind" schematic and I have shared and considered this countless times in life's journey.

Trading happens for me more naturally. I am far less stressful, but very respectful, of markets. My clients seem to sense this. I am not reckless in my trading, lurching around like in 2007.

Breath work…Ed encouraged me in my physical fitness workouts in past. Charles suggested some physical activity daily to "air out my brain" which is busy for certain. Latest endeavor is I have partnered with a dedicated person and we have been performing a very intense workout that is 9 weeks in duration. I leave off the name as to respect the non-commercial rules of TTP. Good news is my level of commitment, and my partner's, is 6 days a week, we completed Week 4, and have not missed a single day! This workout combines much breath work, and though not directly meditative, in sense one must release all outside interference to complete the workout. It is interpersonal too, and a relationship of friendship and encouragement grows between my partner and me.

This commitment spills over into other relationships, like a positive feedback loop, and saying that term makes me want to return to my course in systems dynamics.

I just want to re-connect with Ed, and express my gratitude that I learned so much at TTP Workshop in Reno, that the learning still pervades and influences me almost every day. Ed expresses something about fading off, dissolving, TTP doing that. Perhaps someday but for me not now!

I am making new friends these days. I am broadening my perspectives, and I better understand my wife and children, and I love them very much. I hope and thing they understand me better too. I am willing to let go of rigid self-organization behaviors that have been limiting in past, and see risks in a different light. Dan Siegel speaks of "The dynamic experience of such emergent states of mind within responsive interpersonal relationships can create an electrifying sense of vitality" in a section on States of Mind.

Right now I FEEL more, Experience more, and Live more, and I am here to say that my TTP Workshop was a Life-Changing event for me. The kind of event one could say "life before" and "life after."

I am breaking into a sweat as I write this. Not sure why. Perhaps nothing more than turning off the AC!

In the Field of Limitless Possibilities, that Energy Field I first feel I became acquainted with intellectually when I read the Trading Tribe, and then experienced directly in Workshop…this Field continues to be receptive and yields amazing life when we are Willing to be available, and let ourselves go a little further than we've gone in the past.

Thank you Ed for sharing your experience with us in TTP!

My wife is calling and has made me a grilled cheese sandwich. My son is in the next room or upstairs eating his sandwich. I share this because we are a family. My daughter is upstairs perhaps studying. I feel Blessed. I am Blessed.

Thank you for sharing your process and your long-term view of TTP.
Sep 16, 2013

Workshop Report - Communicating with His Wife

Hi Ed,

I respond to an e-mail from my wife with a reflection of my experience in Austin today, and hereby share this with FAQ.

-----

Hi,

Thanks for your encouragement and support. Yes, it feels like the right decision to be here! I get on the hot seat today with Ed managing the process. I don't know exactly know how long it takes, but I guess 1-2 hours. We end up identifying my issue:

I have an issue with willingness to commit to Right Livelihood. I still create dramas by trying to fix people, and float around without clearly knowing what I want myself.

Later in the day, as I reflect on the experience, I gain more insights and clarity about what Right Livelihood is for me. I feel ready to commit and serve others, starting with my family. Tomorrow, we have the last 1/2 day of the Workshop and I wonder what that will bring. I'm still processing it all.

I feel some confusion, but I also feel like I'm growing.

Thanks for letting me know how you and the kids are doing, and great that [name] is getting a new bike!

Love,

Thank you for sharing your process.

Sep 16, 2013

Freedom and Fear

Ed,

I have enjoyed listening to the interviews that Johnathon Fields conducts [with] people from various walks of life, be it business people, artists etc.

One particular interview that has stayed with me, is his interview with Rhonda Britten. One aspect of the interview discusses her life story where, at the age of 14, she witnessed her father kill her mom and then committing suicide, and her having to overcoming that.

Her profession now is as a life coach to help people lead a life of freedom ... and not have fear run your life for you. She said that fear wants to keep you safe. When asked, when an entrepreneur is torn between wanting to continue and wanting to stop, and asking himself what to do - how to know which is making the decision, fear or freedom?

She replied that freedom can say yes, fear can say yes, freedom can say no and fear can say no. what separates the two is that if fear makes the decision, it always has shame attached.

That part as been rolling around in my mind. Never heard it discussed like that. I know in my own life, there have been many things that I didn't do for fear of the family judgement.

Whereas, NOW I know about expressing things in the NOW. So if someone judges, "you should have known better, you should have known it wouldn't work...etc..." I can see that they had no more idea than I. Just making a judgement on my trying.

 

Thank you for raising the issue of fear as a basis for action.

Say you see a child in the middle of the road, feel fear, run out and snatch the child back to safety just in time to avoid an oncoming truck.

According to your model, you feel shame.

I might wonder if you might actually feel relief and a sense of accomplishment.



Fear

can save your life.

http://thedreamzone.com/blog/

Sep 16, 2013

Austin Tribe Report - Feeling the Heat

Ed,

One member of the Austin tribe takes a hotseat. He states that he wants to change his life for the betterment of his son. At first I am undecided if he really wants change. I believe he must want change for himself, if he really wants change. The process manager manages his process, and I relate to the hotseat's reasons for making changes in his life: he doesn't want to mess up his son's life with his rocks. The process manager confirms that the hotseat's express reason for change is valid and provides enough incentive to do the hard work required in TTP. I feel a connection to his process. I learn that you can only begin from where you are with whatever resources you have to motivate yourself, and that sometimes having external motivation, a desire to change your life so that you can protect and support those whom you love, is sufficient. I don't really know, but it seems to work, and the important part, and the only part that really matters, is that the feelings are real.

I'm continually amazed at how this hotseat and other hotseats solicit the involvement of the entire tribe with some tribe members playing multiply roles in the process. I'm grateful for the tribe member's courage to work through his process.

I take a hotseat and give my pitch for my trading business. I feel the heat and push through the process of pitching. I receive some great feedback from the tribe. As I feel the heat in the process, the feeling dissipates. It seems that the more I'm willing to feel the "heat" the more I'm able to move forward with my life in all aspects. I recognize the "heat" feeling and associate it with experiencing and facing new challenges. I now welcome the "heat" feeling and learn that what's on the other side of that feeling is pretty cool. I welcome the "heat" feeling instead of retreating from it.

Best,

Thank you for sharing your process.
Sep 16, 2013

Can't Elope

Hi Ed,

I have an addition to the now-ledge base concerning "How You Know You Are In the NOW":

I feel full and juicy, bursting with life, like a cantaloupe on a vine lying on the ground in a garden. I am ready to pop and the pressure feels really good, a fullness that is the essence of being alive and inhabiting this very moment. I don't care how long it took me to get to this moment, and I don't care whether I burst and rot on the ground, or the ants eat me, or I get cut up and eaten by some human who then analyzes my sweetness. I don't care, that's not NOW!!

 

Thank you for sharing your process.

I notice some of your cantaloupian concerns refer to the past and to the future.



Real Cantaloupes


don't worry
or write to FAQ.

http://blog.foodnetwork.com/healthyeats/
2009/08/14/in-season-cantaloupe/

Sep 16, 2013

Tribe Report - Receiving The Tirade

Hi Chief,

The Sept 5th meeting has greater detail on dissecting the feelings of a lengthy drama and outlining several lines of defense skill to keep the drama from escalating.

Members check in their progress. A member is starting a fund. Another member makes his first animation and presents his work. And someone else makes a 30% profit last month. I report my progress as fixing my lawn, having somebody fix my hot water line, installing a new sprinkler, get a job offer. I find that within last month, I occupy myself with all sort of chores and lose focus. I feel inferior and low achievement and lack of fulfillment. Somehow this feeling starts to bother me recently.

A member get into hot seat about his pattern of shutdown when his wife talking or nagging. Tribe help him get into forms and when he freeze, he recall that he was in police station and two policeman yell to him. That is when he is a child, and he and his bully friend play a prank, and hang a body up side down on a rope. Unfortunately the victim is the son of the police chief.

The tribe role play the drama. The client watches the cartoon and get the idea to dig a hole in his backyard, hang a rope on the branch of a tree and place a trap around the hole. His friend suggest to call a neighbor boy. The boy comes and they have him hanged up side down. The boy then talk to his mom, and the mom sees the rope burn and gets really emotional and call her husband, who is the police chief. And the police chief call two of his officers to visit the client home and take him to police. There they yell to him and the client is frightened. The tribe re-enact the drama. I play a boy who tease the client the 2nd day after the police grilled him.

During the break, I see Ed and other professional traders sitting on the dinner table talking about the new book and trading. I notice my feeling of being out of loop as explored in previous tribe meeting and feeling inferior. And I find this is a perfect opportunity for me to practice the new resource of staying inside loop pro-actively. So instead of shutting down and sit remotely, I move to the dinner table too and listen. Even though I don't talk actively, I feel good just listening. Later a member comes to tell Ed, that the tribe is waiting there while few of us are talking here. We all laugh and the meeting resumes.

Then we replay the drama. When the bully tells the client his idea to play the prank on the first grader boy(the police chief's son), Ed plays the client as a surrogate. Instead of agreeing with the bully, he expresses his feeling of worrying about the safety, and whether the first grader boy will like it or not. This stops the drama from even starting. It inspires me about a lot such happenings in my past, and probably happenings to many other people, that before getting into any kinds of drama, there's always an opportunity to stay out of it. That opportunity is a feeling. In this case, it's the feeling of worrying about the safety. This feeling presents itself in all the cases, but in many case, I ignore or suppress this feeling due to other elements, like peer pressure, curiosity, wanting to take chance, etc. Ed says this is the first line of defense of the drama, which is to explicitly express and share the feeling with other parties. It opens other possibilities, rather than falling with the gravity of the drama.

Ed plays the client again in the scene after the police visit his home. When he gets back home, his mom is angry and scold him. Ed shows the tribe how to receive the mom's feeling instead of shutting down. He keeps saying "you look really angry", "I am scared" etc to acknowledge the mom's feeling. Ed says this is the 2nd line of defense to keep the drama from escalating.

The 3rd line of defense is the drama in police station, when the two police yell at him, Ed express his feeling that he is scared, he regrets and doesn't know the consequence and he is sorry. The tribe can clearly see that now the attitude of the two policemen shifts to a more tutoring/educating or even a slight caring tone instead of simply vehement scolding. Then Ed teaches the client to receive and express the feeling in such situation, the client says this is foreign to him. He practices in another episode and get similar result.

I play the students who teases the client the second day in the school. When I see he comes, I start to make fun of him. He lowers his head, keeps silent, turns away from me. I feel very easy to get him. More ideas come to my mind to get more of him. He eventually run away. In the second play, where Ed plays the surrogate, When I try to tease Ed, he is not defending himself or attack me back, and not running either. It doesn't feel fun at all to mock him. And I feel the conversation dull, boring, I am short of new ideas and go blank. When the 3rd time I do it to the client again. He sits there in a upright pose, looking at me in eyes, and answer my sarcastic questions in a straight forward, honest way, I feel shame, out of rope, chock. I feel I am losing face in front of other students and want to run.

This teasing game reminds me of several occasions I actually tease people. Most time people possess a victim look and I can get hold of them so I can tease them more. But in few times when I run into somebody assertive, I end up embarrassing myself. This is the same feeling I get during the process. It also alerts me recent years I tease my son more often. I need to be more discreet about this now.

Somehow I feel that it might help more if the hot seat client gets more chance to practice this new feeling+response combo in the meeting, until it fully ingrains into his unconscious. Due to lack of enough time to practice in the meeting, the process might stay more at the eye-opening stage and conscious level realization of new resource, rather than owning a new riff. When learning something like piano or Kungfu, the teacher shows the student mechanics of a new technique and the students can take home for repetitive practice till it ingrains. I wonder if tribe can invent some daily exercise to fortify the new links?

I feel thankful to you for hosting this meeting and to the tribe for the commitment of continuous effort on personal growth!

Thank you for sharing your process and for documenting the meeting.
Sep 16, 2013

Everyone Says

hello,

So everyone says "work on 10 successive losing trades for risk management. "

But why 10? I've never had 10 successive losses. who picked this mythical number?

why not 7 or 15?

So in a coin flip 50/50, how do you work out the chance of hitting a run of successive heads?

Thank you

I don't recall the ten-loser method.

You might consider asking everyone.

Sep 12, 2103

Now

Ed,

I write to express my interpretation of living in the Now. My thoughts surfaced from the FAQ contributor on Sept. 12, 2013, Knowing Now.

I see living in the Now as someone that realizes they are in the Now. How do you know you are in the Now? It seems to be easier for me to describe the times people aren't living in the NOW.

For example, someone that tries to live in the past seems to always bring up the good ol' days. Or when you get together with friends and someone or the whole group talks about stories that happened in the past. When I am in that situation I feel a loss with them. It's as if they wish to be back in those times and that this time of Now is not as good as that time of Now was for them.

Another typical person that is not living in the Now is someone that is always planning to do something in the non-existent future. I have nephew that is always planning to go back to college, yet when the time comes he has an excuse. I believe his making plans to attend school satisfies something in him that he accepts as doing something proactive, though when the moment of Now occurs that coincides with attending class he has a reason (excuse) not to attend.

If my nephew lived in the moment of Now, he would decide to attend college Now, and he would do something right Now to prepare to attend.

We have a good friend that wants to have a fund someday. You asked him to declare he has a fund – Now! He struggled with that announcement. Once, he made the announcement in the Now that he was a fund manager, things began to work for him.

The time is Now for me to do something great.

Thank you

Thank you for sharing your insights and your now-ledge.

Sep 12, 2013

Deletion Request

Hi,

Glad to see you are back to doing the FAQ this year. I have learned a lot from it.

Please remove the following item from FAQ:

Monday, November 29, 2010

Thank you and best wishes,

Thank you for your request.

The item no longer appears on FAQ.



Things Can Disappear

easily, on FAQ

http://thefairynator.dreamwidth.org/823.html

Sep 12, 2013

Wants to Understand Forms

Dear Ed,

I find myself wondering about forms, possibly as a way to prepare for my venturing onto the hotseat in the near future. I prepare by doing research as I would for any adventure, wanting to get the most out of it that I can.

I wonder about the purpose of the vigorous physical movements and body postures, and about increasing their intensity in the moment of the experience. I wonder if this puts the person into the part of the brain that holds emotionally significant memories, as opposed to the area where ordinary memories are stored. (These are two separate places, according to PET scans and other brain research.)

Perhaps the memory that emerges does not have anything to do with the specific movements or gestures that are being expressed, but rather the memory is sitting there in the brain as the person begins to describe their issue and then it finds a portal to consciousness through the intense physical expression.

I say this as a person who is quite non-demonstrative, physically. The first time I expressed a form was probably also the last, as I got the message that such expression is over-dramatic and disapproved of. So I feel like I am in completely foreign, and possible dangerous, territory.

I relate to the numerous FAQ contributors, including a very recent one who worries about banging the wall with his feet or another who feels he is not doing it correctly because he can't think of anything from the past.

You have been extremely clear that there is not a "right" way to do anything in TTP, but the concept of forms seems to be so central to the process that I would love to hear your response to some of these wonderings.

Thanks so much,

Thank you for raising the issue of TTP Forms.

In traditional talk therapy, the therapist attempts to help the client access critical incidents by talking about thoughts and feelings.

Talking, however, tends to draw the client into his cognitive process and away from the subconscious, experiential process that contains the information.

In TTP we notice that people tend to associate physical forms with memories, particularly those we store during critical events.

In TTP, we use group process, cheering and other encouragement to help the client access and amplify his forms. Once the forms blossom, vivid memories of the critical event also seem to appear.

In this way, we can accomplish in a few minutes, what may take years to accomplish with talk therapy.



You Might Get There Faster

with a different approach.

http://www.blogto.com/city/2012/06/photos_
of_the_world_ naked_bike_ride_in_toronto_2012/


Sep 12, 2013

Knowing Now

Ed,

What is NOW??

How to be truly in the NOW?

How can I know that NOW I am truly in the NOW??

Thank you Great Chief.

Thank you for raising the issue of now.

Everything that happens, happens in the now. Participating in the now takes no particular skill, as you have no alternative.

You can choose to accept this or not, in the now, of course.

You might consider taking your feelings about <knowing now> to Tribe as an entry point.


If You Wish To Escape
from your feelings

you can try
pretending you exist
in the past or future.

http://www.foundshit.com/aways-now-clock/

Sep 12, 2013

Metaformation of the Bully

Hi Ed,

I would like to share a situation related to a hot seat I take 2 years ago in the Austin Tribe.

During this hot seat, I work on issues about name calling and bullying. We role play a situation in high school where I share and receive feelings with a bully. I recall having a hard time to share feelings with this classmate. I recall feeling anger toward this guy. Although the process is a breakthrough for me, I recall not being able to fully express all my feelings. I recall feeling anger toward this guy even after the process.

Well, I somehow forget about all this until last week.

My high school class uses a mailing group to help classmates stay in touch. Some classmates use this group to plan class reunions or to advertise things. Others use it to share jokes or even tease other classmates. I rarely send emails or participate in the discussions.

Last week, I access my email account where I receive all these emails, and I find some emails about me. One classmate calls me names. Another classmate, the bully I am referring above, draws a caricature of me and sends it to the group (I recall him doing this in high school). I feel surprise. I ask myself what is going on here. I also feel anger and sadness. My first reaction is just to delete the emails. Then, I decide to turn this event into an opportunity to connect with these guys.

I first write to the classmate who sends the caricature (the bully). I share with him that I feel uncomfortable to find my caricature in the mailing group. I also share my anger and sadness. Finally, I tell him that I would like to hear how he feels about sending this caricature to the group.

He quickly replies. He shows surprise and tells me he is just trying to remember old times. He also tells me that it is new to him that I feel that way (well, I do not recall sharing my feelings before). I reply back thanking and receiving what he sends in the email. He finally sends me an email thanking me for sharing my feelings. Although we have this interaction via email and not in person, I feel I am clearing things with this classmate. Suddenly, I do not feel anger toward this guy anymore (I have this anger feeling toward him for 20 years). I even feel closer to this classmate.

I also write to the classmate who calls me names. I share with him that I do not like the way he is referring to me. I also share that I feel uncomfortable with that. He also replies quickly. I reply back thanking and receiving what he sends in the email. I also feel closer to this classmate and we are even communicating via email since then.

Thanks,

Thank you for sharing your process and your experience of metaforming a bully.

In Tribe work, metaformation refers to the act of changing someone or some situation merely by radiating differently.



When You Radiate

your intention
on the under-Fred network

you can get
amazing results.

http://www.etsweetbites.gr/2011/05/04/radio-days-%CF%83%CF%84%CE%BF-%CE%B4%CE%B9%CE%B1%CE%B4%CE%
AF%CE%BA%CF%84%CF%85%CE%BF-%CE%BA%CE%B1%CE%B9-%CF%83%CF%84%CE%B1-fm/

Sep 11, 2013

Defective Link

Hello Friend!

Hope you are having a great Wednesday!

I was browsing through your website and really enjoyed all the helpful resources you have especially relating to Sigmund Freud. I have found these resources to be very valuable in my own research and desire to know more about psychology in general.

I noticed that you have a broken link on this page: The Trading Tribe (URL - http://seykota.com/tribe/pages/2003_Sep/Sep_1-6/index.htm)
It appears that a link going to the Freud Archives (URL) has been broken for quite some time now. Fortunately, I actually had that page book marked a while ago and was able to recreate the content on my site so others interested in Freud could still access those resources.

If you would like to keep your page updated and fix the link, feel free to link to my page here (URL)

Thanks again for publishing your valuable resources!

Thank you for the catch.

After a decade, I might expect some change in some of the sites I reference. To find information on Freud, you might consider using a search engine. Incidentally, the link to your site does not seem to work, either.
Sep 11, 2013

Dream

Dear Ed,

I choose to share with you a dream I have a few days ago.

I generally do not dream much or recall much,but this is very vivid.

I am at a Tribe meeting with you. I sit in an armchair on your right and I do not identify or recall the other members, apart from one, who is also an Austin Tribe member, who I see just at the first meeting: (Name). He sits at the opposite end of the circle, pretty much were he was sitting when I saw him. I do not know how come I pick him for this role.

You ask him to stand up as he begins his process, I turn my head to watch and then as I turn my head back I see your face just a few centimeters from mine. You have a scary face on and as I see it I am scared and surprised and shocked and you use my shock to conduct a snap induction.

As I go under I smile recognizing your skill in setting up the whole thing and also my skill in realizing on the spot what is going on and I know I can resist but I let go as you tell me that you're putting me under for my benefit and that I can't deal with the process that is about to begin.

I sleep sensing the surroundings (the arm of the chair on my face) but I cannot hear anything. It goes smoothly for a while and then I feel the urge to get our of the trance and see what's going on. Part of me resists it. I start to hear something but I cannot understand what's going on. The urge to wake up gets stronger when I realize there might be something I need to see and I manage to break the trance.

Now it gets more confused, but as I recall it a group of you is at the opposite end of the room holding a dog, who has one of his front legs chopped off. As you all realize I am now awake you leave the dog and you sort of go out on a balcony (we don't seem to be in Austin) and I am there with this dog and I see the chopped leg on the floor as well as an axe and I am there feeling overwhelmed. I do not know how to deal with the situation or what to do. I feel strong empathy for the dog and a lot of sadness for him (even though now that I think about it I do not see it suffering) and for the whole world and the way life works.

I feel like I cannot undo the situation and I feel powerless. I also feel angry and as I look at the axe I think about getting revenge, but I feel partly unsure and partly powerless: I do not see anyone of you actually chopping the dog's leg off and to be honest part of me thinks it was all set up for me to experience it this way and the dog was already in that state due to some other unfortunate circumstances. Moreover you also outnumber me. I feel paralyzed and not knowing what to do and as I recall I can barely talk or do not talk at all: I am caught up in my feelings. I wake up feeling I do not get resolution.

I have no idea what it might actually mean. A wild guess that suggests itself as I read the email is memory of being anesthetized as a young boy to undergo an operation to my ankles, but this is shooting in the dark. I can't figure out the meaning of this dream or how it fits with my current situation or what Fred is trying to send me. I just know it is very powerful and vivid and unusual for me.

Thank you for sharing your process and your dream.

You might consider taking your feelings about your dream to Tribe.



Dreams about Amputation

may indicate concerns
about your standing.

http://tripawds.com/2007/09/30/super-senior-tripawds/

Sep 11, 2013

(City) Tribe Report

Dear Ed,

I feel like I make a lot of progress since I show up the first time at the Circle-TT Ranch and yet I feel confused and at times I feel hopeless and cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I feel like I have a lot of work to do. Sometimes I feel despondent. I also find it very hard to celebrate my successes and allow myself to feel OK about what I achieve. I constantly doubt and belittle myself and second-guess everything. The opposite of this feeling used to be feeling superior and perfect and like I know it all. It has now disappeared, thanks to your statement that we all do our best.

I now feel the need to find a balance, as I recognize I depend on external validation to feel OK about myself and sometimes even that isn't enough. I feel a connection with my dad, as he learns to criticize and look for what's wrong in everything, including himself.

Thanks to a series of events I see clearly my drama of pleasing people and then rebelling: kudos to you for nailing it in just a matter of minutes. I also learn the importance of clearly telling people what I want and I see how oftentimes I do not do it.

Sometimes I feel like I do not know what I really want. I take action and I make progress. And I want to share that the main inspiration behind this is the August 30th FAQ "Animating some changes". The contributor sets a great example and I feel grateful to him for his hard work and I have tears of joy and I am happy for the great results he gets! I feel the most valuable part of TTP for me is to be able to assist and support others in their processes. I learn a lot from it. I also like piggybacking other people's hotseats as it allows me to avoid being grilled and exposing myself and risking / failing and basically remain in a safe place.

I see progress in FAQ and TTP recently and I really get the idea that TTP is about getting stuff done and making progress. Feelings are part of the process, but they're not the goal in and of themselves. The goal is to achieve your goals, whatever they are. I formulate a new TTP equation that states action = willingness.

When we take action to reach our goals we demonstrate willingness to feel the feelings that come with it and when we are willing to feel our feelings we manifest it by taking action. Free feelings prompt action, stuck feelings prompt drama.

At the last (City) meeting I share with my fellow tribe members the importance of having a clear, specific and measurable goal for the process before taking the hot seat. We employ the new technique and it seems to me that we make progress, in the sense that most issues just melt away as either non-issues (i.e. distractions) or issues where the member can already easily take proactive action and come back if he gets stuck. I enjoy the success of the meeting.

A couple of days later I get an insight that I might be overdoing it with the grilling and mixing up valuable resources with tools for avoiding the hot seat, distorting your teachings through the lens of my own drama. The insight is accompanied by a lot of hotness / sweat, so there might be some fire together with the smoke. I feel responsible for what I share with my Tribe and I want to make sure that I get it as it is. I share below my understanding of the hot seat screening process. I feel I may be overemphasizing point 2. I welcome your feedback and if you feel it's consistent with your teachings, then good news: I am only playing my self-doubt drama.

1) Have a goal: What do you want to achieve with the process? Can you mention a specific outcome that you want to get out of it? Is this what you really want (probing)? Can the Tribe measure your progress and hold you accountable (i.e. no vague statements like "I want to become a better person")?

2) Is the issue real? In other words, can you do / are you doing something to achieve your goal or are you blocked? Are you really stuck or are you using your feelings as excuses? E.g. You want a new job. Do you feel you can do something to get it? Can you go and speak with your boss about it? You want to date a girl. Can you pick up the phone and ask her out? If you can, then the issue isn't there, if you can't then you have an issue. You want to be a profitable trader. Do you have a plan / strategy? Have you studied the market? In other words, do you have the tools to be profitable and it's just a matter of feelings or are you still at a stage where no matter how you feel, you do not stand a chance to make a dime?

3)Are you willing to do the work?

Best,

Thank you for sharing your process and for documenting the meeting.
Sep 11, 2013

Wants a Teacher

Dear Mr. Seykota,

I read your site and find it very useful. I'm living in Europe so there isn't chance to meet each other. I have been trading for 2 years and I seek for someone who can teach me the act of trading. Who really able make money on the stock market.

If I don't disturb you could you teach me?

Thank you for your answer.

Have a nice day.

Best regards

Thank you for sharing your process.

You might consider reading through FAQ, perhaps engaging some Tribe work.

Ultimately you may find your best teacher in the mirror.
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