Wed, 21 Sep 2005
The attachment contains a draft of my testimonial
about your work. I have done many revisions and can no
longer see any mistakes. Can you read it over briefly
and provide feedback on any minor grammatical errors or
on anything that needs clarity. I am not looking for a
major overhaul, just a minor touch up if need be.
My experience with TTP is something almost beyond conscious
comprehension. It enhances every aspect of my life on a daily basis. I
cannot thank Ed enough for this wonderful gift that he is sharing with the
With each passing day I continue to learn more and more about myself and
others. I continue to evolve as an emotional being having a human experience
rather than a human being have an emotional experience.
I now listen to my feelings and my body and use them as guides to help me
make decisions in all aspects of my life including trading. My previous path
involves ignoring and avoiding feelings and using my conscious mind and
societal logic to make all of my decisions.
Now I know that I can have anything that I really want. I sincerely do, and
I have come to know it as “Magic.” The main key to achieving anything is my
“WILLINGNESS” to experience all of my feelings.
I notice only then is it possible for me to experience this “Magic.” People
seem to show up to miraculously help me when I need it. I get phone calls or
emails right on cue to tell me exactly what I need to hear, and events just
seem to conspire to work out exactly as I need them to without explanation.
In the span of less than a year my life transitions from being unclear,
uncertain, and full of endless conflict to a life of clarity, certainty,
purpose, and most of all harmony. All of my relationships are different
today. The ones that still exist from my past are much stronger and
harmonious and the others just seem to fade somewhere off into the sunset.
Today all of my relationship interactions are win-win, upfront, straight
forward, and have a feelings orientation. My past interactions demonstrate
hidden agendas, manipulation, recurring drama, and avoidance of feelings. I
no longer experience these interactions nor do I crave or attract them as I
I encounter major life altering transitions in both my business and personal
life. I separate from my girlfriend of four years and experience several
feelings that I do not like. I learn that my “Fred” really wants me to feel
certain feelings. He sets up a major drama to help me feel the very feelings
that I spent the last four years of my life trying to consciously avoid.
My business grows from a two person operation to a seven person cohesive
unit that is one of the top trend following investment managers in the world
today. My top performing investment product produces a 38.09% gain in the
last twelve month net of fees, a 2% management fee and 20% incentive fee.
My journey begins in October 2004 where a fellow tribesman and myself are in
Chicago attending a Futures Industry Association conference. I tell him
about a feeling that I am experiencing and he says with emphasis and
authority, “THERE, that means something!
There is something important about that feeling that you need to
experience.” He proceeds to suggest that at a minimum I think about
attending Ed’s upcoming TTP workshop and then decide or not to join a tribe.
I recall he mentions “Ed is a fricking genius!”
I return home that day and proceed directly to
www.tradingtribe.com and find out what I need to do in order to attend
the workshop. I call Ed and reserve a spot. The workshop is an eye opener in
terms of how much conscious mind I really am. I learn that it is ok to feel
what I am feeling, in whatever moment of now that is. I learn that I live
most of my life in the past and the future and have no idea what “living in
the now” is all about.
I learn that feelings have positive intentions and that they are important
guides as to what is really running my life. I learn that the feelings I am
unwilling to experience are controlling my life.
At the workshop I recall working on identifying where certain feelings in my
body reside and what the forms of these feelings are. I remember feeling a
bit awkward about what I am doing and what I am feeling. These are just not
normal interactions with people yet everyone in the room seems to be ok with
everything. I proceed with the exercises and eventually take my first “hot
I recall feeling embarrassment and asking myself what the heck am I doing? I
find myself standing up shaking my head from side to side and moving my
fingers like I am playing an imaginary piano. Then I start jumping like a
frog as high as I can. All the while well several others encourage me to do
I do not recall feeling anything other than “what is this and why am I doing
this?” After around twenty or thirty minutes of doing these what I think are
ridiculous gestures, forms, I get to the “zero point.”
I have no idea what my hot experience is all about. People are telling me
good job and that I really went for it. The only thing that I know is that
it feels good to do some of these forms and that people are accepting me.
Today, I now know that the feelings that I deal with are embarrassment and
After the workshop culminates I apply for membership in the Incline Village
Tribe. Ed accepts me as a new member. I recall my first meeting asking if
there is a confidentiality agreement, and if not that one should be put in
place. Ed responds that there is not and that I might take my wanting one to
the hot seat. He also tells me not to say anything that I do not want anyone
I take the hot seat and notice that I am dealing with embarrassment again. I
am having feelings of embarrassment about showing my real feelings and
putting my real issues on the table. I take these feelings to task and allow
myself to feel them and they quickly fade away.
Over the next several meetings I begin dealing with real issues. Several of
which I am not even consciously aware of as I take the hot seat the next 15
meetings in a row. Every week I seem to have a new issue or work on, or I
work on a previous issue that does not have complete resolution.
I notice and recall several times just feeling something in my body in
certain places and having no idea what the feeling is when I arrive at the
tribe meeting. Regardless of wherever I start my hot seat experience I
always seem to end up with stomach pain.
I recall thinking this is really strange that no matter what I am conscious
of everything leads back to my stomach and I do not like that feeling.
I notice that all of the issues that I am working on have to do with my
personal life. They seem to be all coming back to my relationships with
people specifically my girlfriend at the time.
After several months of TTP I find all of my relationships improving except
for my relationship with my girlfriend. She says she is supportive of my
participation in the tribe but has no interest discussing it.
Over time I tell her bits and pieces and she gets the general idea. She does
not like me telling her my feelings and is unwilling to share her feelings
with me. She claims that I am suffocating her with my feelings and she
cannot stand it.
I talk to her about moving out and taking a break. We eventually break-up in
extreme dramatic fashion. I notice one day that she is talking on instant
messenger to someone. She tells me it is someone she met at the dog park and
he is helping her find a place to live.
I notice that she brings his name up a few more times in the next few days
and that she is spending time talking to him on instant messenger.
I decide to archive her instant messages to check out what is really going
on. I get up the next morning and read the instant messages and I see
several things that I do not like specifically that they are making plans to
date when she moves out.
She also mentions that she wishes that he would have kissed her at the dog
park a few days ago. I feel hurt and betrayal and decide to break up with
her right then and there at 5:30 am. I wake her up and tell her to pack her
sh-- and get the F--- out. She says where am supposed to go? I say I don’t
care just get the F--- out now!
I recall feelings of betrayal, sadness, anger, and pain in my stomach. At
around 7:00 am I check my email and I find this message in my inbox from a
friend that knows nothing about TTP:
Today's thought is:
The only way out is through.
The only way to heal the pain is to embrace the pain. --
You are like a diamond that is continually being polished and
perfected. As this purification proceeds, old thought forms and negative
patterns rise to the surface to be released.
Past-unfinished business must be completed. Old traumas that
have been stored in the body ask to be discharged.
This is not a bad thing -- far from it. The fact that painful
events are being re-experienced is a sign that healing is taking place.
Although you may feel tempted to run from these feelings, let yourself
experience them. As you allow yourself to feel the pain, the pain diminishes
and eventually disappears.
Spirit is always helping you to release that which you no
longer need. Let go of the resistance and surrender to the process. Complete
the past and move on. Once you have done the work, you will never have to
How good it feels to be free!
breaking down into tears thinking that this is exactly what I need at this
exact moment. It describes the TTP process perfectly and it nails exactly
what I am experiencing right now. The most amazing part of the whole thing
is that I did not speak to anyone before checking my email that morning.
It is not possible
for anyone to have conscious knowledge of what I was going through at that
exact moment. Yet, somehow that message shows up right on cue, right when I
need it most, truly “magic.”
thing is that this all happens on a Thursday which is the day we hold tribe
meetings. I am able to take my feelings to the tribe and take the hot seat
that day, right when I need it the most, again "magic". I recall sitting on
the floor stretching forward and yelling “what the F---" while thrusting my
hands straight out in front of me.
I recall the tribe
asking what the feeling is and all I can think of is that the feeling is
"what the F---." I remember feeling a combination of being upset, angry, and
betrayal all at the same time.
The next form I
experience after exhausting my "what the F---" form is to sit with my arms
wrapping around my knees with my head between my knees rocking back and
forth slightly, crying my eyes out. My face completely hidden and I am
basically curling up in a ball position.
I recall the tribe
and specifically Ed telling me to “let it come up, let it all out.” I engage
so deeply in the feelings of betrayal that I am not conscious of how much I
am crying. I reach up to wipe the tears from my eyes and thinking wow I am
really letting it out. My hands are completely soaking wet with tears and
because I am embracing the feeling so deeply I hardly feel the tears. I cry
until it feels ok to feel what I am feeling.
At the end of the
process a few of the tribe members give me a hug. I recall feeling so
thankful that I have such a supportive group that accepts me
unconditionally, and that I have an outlet to express my true feelings.
This is the
beginning of the most major transition in my life to this point. The drama
does not end with my ex-girlfriend. It plays out several different ways over
the next two months and I keep taking the hot seat and working on the
feelings that I do not like. I begin to have daily “aha’s” and my life
starts to take a new direction. I begin to realize how I function, how other
people function, and become aware of how many knots I have. It is truly
enlightening and freeing once I am able to embrace my feelings and untie the
I notice for a
month or two I wake up almost every other night and write five to ten pages
about my “aha’s”. Ed is writing his book at the time and I am proof reading
it. I recall falling asleep several nights in a row with it in my hands and
waking up with major “aha’s”.
The most major
“aha’s” that I experience is that manipulation is a big part of all of my
relationships, specifically with my ex-girlfriend.
I recall role
playing a situation with Ed where he plays me and I play my ex. The
situation has to do with the fact that I cannot stand when she gets mad at
me. The manipulative exchange goes something like this:
(ME): (my ex screaming at me) I want the dogs they are mine and I am so
mad at you for not letting me see them. You have no right not to let me see
(ED) Thank you! Thank you for sharing your feelings with me and letting me
know that you are really angry. For the last four years I have been so
controlling that I did not allow you to feel that feeling. I am alright with it
now and I am willing to let you feel that now.
As soon as the
exchange concludes I have the major “aha” that it has been a dual
manipulation for years. Her yelling at me to get her way, thus manipulating
my behavior, and me not allowing her to feel angry by giving her way every
time, thus manipulating her behavior.
arises in which she tells me she wants to be a “go-go” dancer at one of the
clubs in South Lake Tahoe for the summer. I immediately go into a jealous
rage and I have no idea where the feeling is coming from because I do not
recall feeling this feeling before.
I also do not
think I am a jealous person. I take the feeling to the hot seat and get a
major “aha” that this is one of the feelings controlling my life because I
hate it and I have not felt it since high school. I recall dating a girl in
high school that is unfaithful and that makes me feel jealous.
Ever since that
high school experience I have a knot that does not allow me to feel that
feeling. I feel several other feelings that come up first to protect me from
feeling jealous. This goes on for 12 years that I do not feel jealous until
now. Wow, this feeling that I have been unwilling to feel has been hold up
inside me trying to get out for a long time.
No wonder it is so
difficult to experience and I hate every second of it. No wonder Fred has to
create such a large drama to help me get to it because it is sunk in there
I spend several
sleepless nights thinking about her making love to someone else and this
make me feel extremely jealous. I recall going 60 hours without sleeping
because of this feeling. The non-stop worrying and the roller-coaster of
rage that comes and goes just rip’s apart my stomach.
The fact that I
have no idea what she is doing is driving me crazy. This is another feeling
that I do not like, in fact I hate it. I hate the not knowing and not being
in control. Again this feeling is all in my stomach.
I take all of
these feelings to the tribe and take the hot seat and this time I have a
major breakthrough. I take my feelings of not knowing, jealousy, and not
being in control to task. They are all leading to pain in my stomach and I
am able to throw up in a bucket while I am on the hot seat as the tribe
The provoking is
something I really do not like but really helps me to fully experience the
feelings and without any force. I throw up by just fully embracing my
feelings. It hurts like hell and when it’s all over I feel complete and
I feel better
about not knowing and I am ok with whatever she wants to do. I am also ok
with not being in control.
several hot seats as the sender and receiving many other senders on the hot
seat I start becoming clearer. I cannot underestimate the power of
receiving as a large influence on my overall growth. Specifically, one hot
seat in particular stands out where the sender is working on an issue that
revolves around his significant other wanting to marry. He states that if he
can only get her feeling of what that feels like he may understand and know
what to do.
I encounter an
immediate “aha” that the majority of my life I never spend much time
listening to my significant other’s feelings. All I hear are the words
without the feelings behind them, or I choose not to want to know what the
I begin replaying
past situations in my mind. Immediately I start feeling my ex-girlfriend's
feelings about sincerely wanting to share her joy with me about certain
experiences and then I feel her rejection after I tell her that I am busy or
not in the mood to listen. I feel bad about doing this because now that I
feel her feelings and I understand what she is trying to convey. I now feel
her joy and my response is now different.
I proceed to go
through several more situations and gain more clarity and understanding
about what she really wants. After a few of them I realize that all of my
responses to the situations are now different than they were in the actual
I make a
commitment to myself to listen to the feelings that people are trying to
convey to me especially when I do not understand what they are saying or if
their feelings conflict with what they are saying. I now listen to the words
that people are speaking along with trying to gauge their feelings about
what they are conveying. I find my interactions with people improve
immediately by just using this simple technique.
Today if I do not
understand someone I simply ask, “what is the feeling of what you are trying
to convey?” On the flip-side if someone does not understand me I now tell
them how I feel. In both instances my communication improves tremendously.
Words can be confusing, feelings are clear.
After 9 months of
TTP I commit to attending a “breathwork” workshop. I have a tremendous life
changing experience. As I begin breathing, I notice I encounter some past
situations where I feel a lot of tension. I feel several parts of my body
experiencing pain specifically my shoulders around my ac joints. I feel the
intensity rise to the point where the pain is excruciating but I keep
breathing and it suddenly dissipates.
Next, I notice
myself going through all of my relationships with women starting in grade
school and working up to my most recent relationship. I notice both good and
bad aspects along with the feelings association with each one. I notice that
my life seems to flow better with certain types of girls, pattern
I am also aware
that when I get to my relationship with my ex it is hard to visualize
anything. I try again and again and then I notice myself running as fast as
I can and shaking my head from side to side as if I am saying no. I hear
myself saying get away from this as fast as you can. You do not want this.
As this is going on I notice that I exhibit the form of running and shaking
my head as I am breathing. I quickly get the “aha” that I do not want
anything to do with her. It feels liberating and free, I now know I can
finally let go. This is truly the moment when I completely let go of her.
Next I experience
my feelings about my ex’s sister and although I never date her I have strong
feelings for her. It is perplexing at first, but as I let myself experience
the feelings and I realize that every major fight I have with my ex is when
her sister is around. Her sister ends up listening to my feelings and acts
as a mediator.
I get the “aha”
that my Fred sets all this drama up when her sister is there so that she
will listen to my feelings because my ex does not. I also notice that she
validates me as a person and validates my feelings. I like both of these
qualities and note that these are the most important qualities that I wish
to have in my relationship with any significant other.
Somehow I then
move into flying across the mountains at sunset and I feel so at peace. It
is the most euphoric feeling I ever remember experiencing. I feel no
pressure, no wind, no heat or cold, just utter bliss. The colors are shades
of brown, red, orange, and yellow similar to what one sees at sunset. The
topography is similar to the topography of the mountains in Utah, Nevada,
Then all of the
sudden I see a “green line” streaming upwards into the sky and immediately I
think of my equity curve. It is going parabolic and it exhibits and
exponential growth curve. It is going too fast for me to see the peak. I
decide to grab onto to it and it is still going up too fast. I then see a
rocket coming up with it and I grab onto the rocket and ride it up along
side of this “green line” that I perceive as my equity curve. It is an
amazing feeling to think that my equity curve can look like this and it just
does not stop. There is no end in sight and I just embrace the ride.
is over and I come back to earth immediately start wondering if I should be
with my ex’s sister. She lives in [City] and I love it there. I have many
friends there and always have a great time visiting. I decide to contact her
and tell her about my experience. She validates and acknowledges what I say
and tells me that she is happily in a relationship and is not willing to
date me. I accept what she says and decide to buy a plane ticket and start
spending more time in [City] to find a girlfriend.
I recall buying
the plane ticket getting really nervous and not having any idea why. The
next weekend I go there and the first bar I go to on Friday night is called
“Rockit.” The first girl that I feel an attraction to is across the bar and
I notice her. An hour or two later I bump into her and we start talking.
I ask her where
she is going and she responds, “with you.” We exchange some pleasantries and
we both have extremely big smiles on our faces. I am getting very nice
feelings around her. She asks me why I am in Chicago and I tell her “to find
a girlfriend.” I also tell her that I am looking for a “real relationship.”
She rolls her eyes and says “who isn’t!”
We talk for about
20 minutes and then she tells me to google her, and if I can find her
website and send her an email she will go out with me. I go home that night
and find her website and send her an email. We go to dinner two nights
later. Our first date seems to go well and we talk about many things
The next morning I
fly back to Incline and she sends correspondence to Ed about talking to him
about helping her ex-boyfriend. She does not know Ed. She goes to his
website and sends him an email that says she is a friend of mine and has an
Ed asks her
several questions including how she feels about the situation. Both she and
Ed tell me about the correspondence later that day. She tells me that he
asks her some very thought provoking questions specifically, “how do you
feel about the situation?” She says what a great question, “how do I feel
I learn that her
ex-boyfriend is a trader and lost all of his money and turns to drinking to
avoid his feelings. It turns out that he shares the same first name as me.
She still carries some wounds from the relationship that she wants to heal.
She tells me that before she meets me that she repeats this mantra to
herself, “I want a healthy [same name as mine].”
Amazingly, I show
up right on cue, again, pure “Magic.”
creates a snapshot without having any knowledge of what one is and it comes
to fruition immediately. I notice that she is extremely open and willing
with her feelings. I have never met anyone so open and willing to share
their feelings with me.
I see her the next
weekend in Chicago and I notice that she keeps telling the same story over
and over again. I recall doing the same thing when I separate from my ex. I
ask her the same question Ed asks me in the same situation. I say to her
that she keeps telling the same story over and over again. I ask her “What
is the feeling?”
seems to agitate her and also intrigue her at the same time. Our
conversation ends shortly after my question. I send her an email the next
morning and tell her that I think I can support her in getting clear but she
has to do all the work. Her desire and willingness are evident. She sends me
an email back that says my email brings her to tears and “who does this.”
She agrees that
she wants to get clear and is willing to do the work. I send her the
“Trading Tribe” book. She reads it in one sitting and tells me that it is
the most amazing book she has ever read.
We talk about what
her feelings are and where they are in her body. I talk to her about the
results = intentions model of living. Living by this model requires
continuous growth. I tell her that if for any reason she does not get
results that she likes that it is her problem and no one else’s.
It is a
responsibility model and if she is not getting to where she wants she needs
to change, not anyone else. There is a feeling that she needs to fully
experience before she can get the results that she really wants.
I am struck by her
understanding and desire to learn. She seems to be soaking up all of the
knowledge and experience that takes me a year to gain in a few days.
She commits to
come to Incline that weekend to do breathwork with me. I manage the process
the same way that Ed does. I have her define her current situation, specific
things she does not like about it, and her preferable situation.
When she arrives
in Incline we stay up late talking about a great many things including her
feelings. I support her in getting really clear on what the feelings are
that are standing in her way. She develops the forms and the feelings are
“live.” Then we go to bed for a few hours.
We wake around 7am
and go on a hike. The plan is to go for a hike and then come back to my
house and do the Breathwork. I unilaterally decide not to hike on a trail,
we go bushwhacking instead. It takes us about 2 hours to hike to the top of
the mountain and we are having a great time.
I anticipate it
taking us about 1.5 hours to get back down. On the way down I decide to take
an alternate route. Little do I know that the route I choose leads us into a
chute that gets narrower and narrower until we get to a 20-25 foot cliff. We
try to climb back up but there is sand on the granite that is slippery and
prevents up from gaining any traction to climb up.
She quickly goes
into a state of utter panic and distress. I see a way out but I am certain
that it is not suitable for her nor do I think she is willing to take that
route. The way out entails scaling the rock face sideways for about 10 feet
into some trees and native brush and then climbing down the brush 20 feet to
the ground below.
In order to do the
traverse out there is less than six inches of a foot hold to shimmy across
while standing upright at a 70 plus degree angle with a 20-25 drop behind.
She begins to
start shaking and crying and tells me that she does not know if she can hold
on. Her feet begin to shake and her eyes are shut. I realize that I am in a
very precarious situation and find myself performing real time TTP on the
mountain in an emergency situation. I very gently support her to feel her
feelings and encourage her to embrace her feelings.
She goes with the
flow and seems to be working through some feelings. She tells me that she
does not trust anyone. I start thinking, "Thanks, Fred!" I like to take a
little risk and she does not trust anyone. What a perfect situation for our
"Fred’s" to work out a drama for both of us.
After about an
hour or so I decide that the only way to get us out of here is for me to
start moving and figure it out.
She panics at the
onset of my movement.
starts to gain strength and I see a way to get her out. She stands up and I
get her to grab onto the rock with her left hand and show her another hand
hold up another 2-3 feet for her right hand. She says that she cannot reach
it and I get my hand under one of her hamstrings and literally push her
straight up with one arm to safety. She is then able to climb down the
As soon as we get
down I assume that she is not going to want to do Breathwork because I just
led her into a life threatening situation. I feel bad about the situation
and extremely uneasy about how she is going to react. She blows me away and
tells me that she thinks this is the best time for her to do Breathwork
because her feelings are really “live” right now.
She starts making
jokes and going with the flow and I cannot believe how wonderful she makes
me feel. The hike ends up taking us 5 hours. What an experience for both of
We get back to my
house and immediately start the Breathwork and she gets into it like a pro.
I watch as she exhibits several forms and I can feel the waves of emotion
that she experiences.
As she comes out
of the process she tells me that it is the most amazing experience that she
has ever had in her life. She says that the process already helps her gain
so much clarity and she feels better about many things in her life. We talk
about her making a commitment to help integrate her feelings and
experiences. She chooses to run 4 days a week for 40 minutes for the next
four weeks. She commits to sending me an email after every run.
The next day we
spend a few hours with Ed talking about the weekend, her Breathwork
experience, and our relationship. We talk about our foundation of honesty
that we put in place from the start of our relationship. We talk about how
we are taking all the knowledge that we both have been given from TTP,
Breathwork, the Trading Tribe book, and from conversations with Ed into our
relationship, an area where no one has gone with it before successfully.
We spend every
weekend together since we met. I sign a lease and commit to an apartment in
[City] and I intend on living there for the next few months. She completes
her commitment and continues to running 4 days a week.
I am happy to
report that her life is immeasurably changing for the better since
Breathwork. Her relationships are much healthier and stronger and she is
more at peace with herself and the rest of the world. She and her ex have a
conversation to resolve any outstanding issues with a positive outcome.
She accepts a
promotion from a competitor and moves firms. She has more deals and larger
deals than she has ever had before just showing up. Our relationship just
keeps getting better and better every day.
One area that I
want to get back to that continues to have an immeasurable effect on my life
is the results = intentions model. This model helps me identify and focus in
on what feelings I am unwilling to experience to get my preferable results.
It also helps me tremendously in understanding other people. I am to see
patterns of behavior that I do not see previously. This knowledge helps me
attract the right people and deflect the wrong people in all interactions
both personally and professionally.
I also have success in working towards achieving several snapshots. One of
my snapshots involves having a “harmonious workplace.” A place where
everyone in my firm is doing what they do with a smile on his face. A place
where they do what they love, and love what they do. The feeling is a warm
sense of harmony and caring for each other. I have this now and I have for
several months. I originally set up this snapshot at a time when things are
Another snapshot that I have is “$2 Billion.” This snapshot is to have $2
billion in assets under management while having the best total return
performance in our high leverage product in comparison to our competitors.
The picture of it is has everyone that works for me is looking at our
monthly newsletter which is on the wall of our office and reads “Assets
Under Management $2,000,000,000,” next to the letter is spreadsheet
documenting that our high leverage product has the best total return
performance since inception in comparison to or competitors. Everyone has
both of their arms in the air one for each billion with smiles on their
faces. The feeling is “Yes!” I currently have the best total return
performance in my high leverage product since inception. My asset growth is
still a work in progress.
The last snapshot that I have is one that I call “embracing each other’s
feelings.” I am at Le Bistro, a restaurant in Incline, sitting in the back
right corner booth with a girl. The girl is on my right and she is wearing a
pink off the shoulder top and has her left leg wrapping around my right leg
and her right hand is on my heart. We are looking into each other’s eyes
with huge smiles on our faces and our cheeks hurt from smiling so much. A
bottle of Turley Zinfandel wine is open and on the table along with the
menus. I now know the girl in the snapshot is my girlfriend today. I do not
yet have actual snapshot achievement, but all of the components are in
Another concept that I want to touch on that is such a large part of the
work that I feel does not get enough attention is the “now.” I never
understood what it means to live in the now until, well now.
There is nothing like it! I now get to enjoy every moment of my life for
what it is instead of being caught somewhere in the past or non-existent
future. I learn that living in the past involves feelings of guilt and
regret, and living in the non-existent future involves feelings of anxiety.
I feel much more alive because I feel every emotion in the moment. I have a
lot more energy, focus, and clarity. It is so much easier to see situations
for what they are when you are truly in the moment of now.
When you truly live in the moment of now there is nothing else than what is
happening right now. It is liberating beyond belief. I never had any idea
how great it feels to embrace every moment for what it is, until now. Even
when times are tough and difficult I now know that they are important times
because there is a positive intention to the feelings that I am feeling in
that moment of now. I now see difficult situations as opportunities for
growth rather than stumbling blocks. I do not second guess anything instead
I embrace my results and look for positive intentions.
I now believe that there are no mistakes, errors, or coincidences in the
world. I believe in a holistic evolution and that there is a connection to
everyone and everything in the universe. I believe the world is perfect and
everything is the way it is for a reason. I believe that through our
subconscious energy we communicate with each other in a way that is not
Mostly, I now understand what it truly means to go with the flow. I
understand how to support people by encouraging them to keep doing what they
are doing. Even in situations where I can see a potentially negative
outcome. I now realize that it is their path and something about it is
important to them.
There is some feeling that they are trying to feel and the best way for me
to support them is to encourage them to keep doing what they are doing and
allow them to feel that feeling. Any interruption in their process only
interrupts nature’s course and invalidates them.
Truly supporting people involves validating and encouraging their behavior.
It is not always the easiest thing to do but I know it is the right thing to
do. Any feelings I have contrary to doing this I take to the “hot seat” as
entry points for my own personal growth.
I cannot thank Ed and the Incline Village Tribe Members enough for their
contribution in supporting me over the past twelve months. I feel extremely
fortunate to have the opportunity to be a part of such a wonderful tribe. I
continue to attend tribe meetings and I enjoy contributing to the evolution
of the work. I also enjoy supporting my fellow tribe members in their own
journeys toward clarity.