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June 1 - 10, 2006

 

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Questions

(Quotes from Ed in Red)

Answers

Sat, 10 Jun 2006

 

William Arthur Ward

Hi Ed,

Just want to share these thoughts from William Arthur Ward which helps me find success in trading and in life.

Thank you for your website and the insights it offers.


 

-----


To laugh is to risk appearing a fool,

To weep is to risk appearing sentimental

To reach out to another is to risk involvement,

To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self

To place your ideas and dreams before a crowd is to
risk their loss

To love is to risk not being loved in return,

To hope is to risk despair,

To try is to risk to failure.

But risks must be taken

because the greatest hazard in life

is to risk nothing.

The person who risks nothing,

does nothing, has nothing

is nothing.

He may avoid suffering and sorrow,

But he cannot learn, feel, change, grow or live.

Chained by his servitude he is a slave

who has forfeited all freedom.

Only a person who risks is free.

The pessimist complains about the wind;
The optimist expects it to change;
And the realist adjusts the sails.



- William Arthur Ward

One of my favorites, applicable to TTP is:

When we seek to discover

the best in others,

we somehow

bring out the best

in ourselves.

 

 

William Arthur Ward (1921 - 1994)

Photo circa 1961 (age 40)

 

Ward, an American, author, editor, pastor, teacher and assistant to the President of Texas Wesleyan University is a prolific creator of motivating epigrams.

 

Clip: http://www.txwes.edu/communications/

documents/TWMagFall2003final.pdf

Thu, 8 Jun 2006

 

Trend

Hi Ed,


What are good ways to define trend and measure trend strength?

 

Thanks.
 

A trend is a general direction.  Trend value depends on how you define it and compute it.  "The" trend does not exist - so there are no good or bad ways to compute "it."

 

 

The Trend May Be This Way or That Way

 

depending on how far you look.

 

Clip: http://www.3dgo.org/path.jpg

Thu, 8 Jun 2006

 

Run Away Wife

I take the hot seat about unresolved issues with my wife. She seems to run away and not want to resolve anything. I notice that this makes me yawn and makes me tired.

I get into the form of yawning and fully experiencing yawning. I also feel bored and fold that in along with yawning. I realize that I feel complete exhaustion and I recall feeling this same feeling during disagreements with my parents.

I realize that it is about acceptance, my reluctance to accept my wife and/or parents and their reluctance to accept me.

The process manager asks me if I know what my wife feels when we argue, and I do. He asks me if I am willing to experience her feelings. I do and I realize that she feels extreme tension in her neck and sick to her stomach and it is really hard to stay in that form. I do not like the feeling and now realize why she runs away.

I understand how she feels and I work through her feelings until I like the way she feels. I understand it and I am ok with it. I am willing to accept her the
way she is.

Thank you for sharing your process.

 

 

Accepting a Run-Away Wife

 

may involve

running with her.

 

Clip: http://www.podiatry.curtin.edu.au/

encyclopedia/running/

Wed, 7 Jun 2006

 

Visit to Incline Village Trading Tribe

Hi Ed,


Coming to Incline, I am not quiet sure what to expect. I feel a strong sense of curiosity to meet the IV tribe and to see what Ed is all about.

At the meeting I am very impressed how committed everyone is to support each other. The IV tribe feels like a family. (Thanks to the entire tribe for letting me be part of your group that night). I find inspiration in how committed everyone is to the process.

A very deep issue comes up for me that night. I forget my documentation of my commitments, and therefore am unprepared for the snapshot process. My face gets hot and my hands get tingly. Ed says chances are this is an important feeling for me and I might want to take that into the tribe later on that night.

On the hotseat I recall that feeling, it soon merges into different forms, until finally I get to the big one. I have this intense feeling of suffocation in my throat. The more I intensify this feeling, the more I get scared I might actually die doing this form.

 

Ed encourages me to also experience that fear. I do that and really get into my fear form. After a while the fear disappears and I get into the suffocation form again. Out of a sudden it loses it's intensity. At that point I am not sure if I resolved the form all the way or if I have more to do. I know I did as much that night as I was willing to do. The tribe asks me a few provoking questions about commitments and I feel this tingling in my stomach. I go with that one and it is pretty easy, I experience it fully I start to smile.

At this point I am not quiet clear what AHA's I accomplished or not. I am not even sure if I am done or not, but I am smiling like a little child the rest of the night. I feel good.

I feel very thankful to you Ed and the tribe for letting me visit. I feel inspired by you guys. I hope to see you again soon.

Follow up after the tribe:


I am quiet not sure how it is all connected, but here are recent changes since my visit to incline: I speak more often, longer and and about more important stuff with my mom. I work out very intensely and feel great joy doing so. I feel more fun when I am doing things, whether it is developing trading systems or picking up my dry cleaning. I am more accepting and appreciative of other people. My relationship with my girlfriend is more intimate, she also does much less stuff to irritate me. I have a deep sense that everything is hear to help me, I feel life is overloading me with things to help me, which I like. A lot of members out of our tribe drop out and we merge with another tribe in the city, I feel all members of the new tribe are very committed to the process, which is awesome.


Thank you for your work Ed, great to meet you. I am hoping to get the Quattro Passo (pass on all four snapshots)  : )

Thank you for sharing your process.

 

 

 

 

Clip: http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/

a263/likesharad/commitment.jpg

 

Wed, 07 Jun 2006

 

Ill Eagle In Migration (Illegal Immigration)

 

 

FAQ does not answer why questions or tell people what they should do.  See ground rules.

 

If you want an example of applying the system model, you might notice our society (1) enforces a minimum wage (2) provides many free services for people who live here and (3) makes it difficult to enter the country and become a citizen.

 

Some people, who are very happy to work for less than the minimum wage and who are happy to receive free services, come here to improve their lives, even at the risk of doing something illegal.

 

Result: a net influx of illegal immigrants.

 

The result reflects our collective intention.  To determine if this is a good or bad result, you have to apply your own judgment.

 

-----

 

Government programs rarely reflect the inherent laissez-faire nature of man.  They typically enable societal drama that associates with societal k-nots such as surround fear, greed and jealousy.

 

The "solution" to the immigration "problem" has nothing to do with building walls or sending people home to Mexico; it has to do with untying societal k-nots  (Part of my snapshot for TTP).

 

Absent these k-nots we would likely dismantle the minimum wage, the welfare system and the border control and the system would find a new way to balance.

 

-----

 

 

Note: Government, in the long-run is self-correcting - it always goes broke. (The current unfunded liability for public school teacher's retirement programs is approaching half a trillion dollars, and rising)

 

 

 

 

Building a Wall

 

is just more drama.

 

 

Clip: http://republic-news.org/archive/34-repub/

34-images/34-illegal-immigrant-b.gif

Wed, 07 Jun 2006

 

Permission to Change a Snapshot Category.

Of the four snapshot categories, Right Livelihood, Body, Fun and Relationships, our group is trying to figure our where to put something like spiritual / religious growth, dressing in nicer clothes, or other things that a person might do for any sort of personal growth or improvement.

I had suggested replacing Body with Personal, where Body (exercising, losing weight, etc) would fall under Personal. What do you think?

I could certainly take my issue of needing to rearrange the process to suit my needs as an entry point to my next hotseat (Hah! Beat you to it!) But I have more pressing issues as entry points.

I wonder if one of your pressing issues is needing permission to do what you want to do.

 

Some folks hold their spirituality as a relationship with a higher power. 

 

Some hold it as a transcendent process, observable as the evolution of your snapshots and as the way you lead your life.

 

 

 

 

If You are Unwilling

to Take your Pressing Problems to Tribe

 

perhaps you can flatten them

with a machine like this.

 

 

Clip: http://www.apparelmachinery.com/

hoffman/default.html

Tue, 6 Jun 2006

 

Chart Server Questions


Hello Ed,

some questions on your chart server..

1) could you please tell me the time constants used
for short, medium and long term stock selections? My lag calculations match yours almost exactly for short term. Thinking this is a 5 day setting

2) possible to list out the lag / % yearly roc on the
chart itself?

3) Do you use cash flow to screen your selections? If
yes, what would this number be?

thanks a bunch

I post the strong stocks charts as examples. I do not recommend buying, selling, holding or staying out of any of the stocks.  I do not recommend any specific set of filter parameters as likely or unlikely to select trades.

 

The filters are currently in development and may change from time to time.

 

At present, you might be able to get a pretty good fit for the short-term strong list by using a 5-day exponential lag on price and screening for average daily cash flow (price * volume) above $1,000,000

Tue, 6 Jun 2006

 

The Resignation Letter

Dear Ed,

I am writing to you to share a significant milestone that I reached. I have prepared for this moment for almost three years, both mentally (dissolving K-nots) and financially (becoming debt-free and having living expenses set aside). In addition, there has been some “Under-Fred network” phenomenon that went on to support my snapshot, I am not asking why, I accept it as the flow of the universe.

I experienced my “October 2003 Workshop” snapshot “The Resignation Letter” in the now.

My snapshot became real!!!!

There is nothing standing between me and my snapshot.

I have resonating feelings of accomplishment, satisfaction, joy and empowerment throughout my body, which I enjoy feeling. I have a huge grin on my face as I write this!

I also have feelings of fear of the unknown that come up and I accept them willingly. These feelings have a positive intention that reinforces the importance of following my trading plan and trading system. I feel I am balanced with fearful and confident feelings.

I am an active Trader and that is all I want to do.


Here are the details of my snapshot.

I am sitting across a desk from my manager in his cubicle and with my right arm extended towards him at 180 degrees. I am handing him a resignation letter on a 8 1/2 x 11 sheet of white paper.


The Resignation Letter reads:

[My Name and Address and the Date]


To: Name


Dear Mr. Name

This is to formally notify you that I am resigning from [Firm] as an ... Analyst. I am providing you with two weeks written notice. Friday June 16, 2006 will be my last day of employment.

I am choosing to leave [Firm] to pursue right livelihood which is outside the realm of the corporate world.

If I may be of any assistance in training please know that I will gladly make myself available to this effort during the next two weeks.

I thank you for the opportunity you've provided.

Sincerely,

[Me]
 



I want to thank you Ed for the priceless knowledge you share. I want to also acknowledge my home town tribe for their continuous support. I would also like to thank the various other tribe members that I have come in contact with over the years for their support.

Intentions do equal results.

May God bless you Ed.

Yours truly,

Thank you for sharing your process.

 

 

 

One of the Things you Sacrifice

when you quit your job

is quitting time.

 

 

Clip: http://www.ssqq.com/information/

images/heading_quitting_time.jpg 

Tue, 6 Jun 2006

 

Broken Link

Ed,

Go to the link for Dec 11, 2005 and click on " Next ==>".

Instead of going to Dec 21,  you will end up at FAQ home page.

Thank you for the catch.

Tue, 6 Jun 2006

 

Irish Punt

Nice chart of the Irish Punt, trading this currency in the ‘now’ is impossible, has it no longer exists.

One could trade it in the not too distant past; however, finding a broker to take the order might be difficult.

Cheers

Thank you for the catch. The chart is pending removal from the list.

Tue, 06 Jun 2006


Custom Charts

As an "Associate", I am now receiving custom stock charts which are the specific charts ... I want to follow.

I am trading, following long term trends. Well ... still trying to.

To receive custom charts, click on Charts, above

Tue, 6 Jun 2006

 

The Missing Link

Ed,

I could not locate "Studies" section on "Resources" page as per the FAQ threads dated Thu, 2 Jun 2005 and Sun, 05 Jun 2005.

Thanks for your help.

The studies section is currently inactive.

Mon, 05 Jun 2006

 

Time Space Continuum Rhetorical Question

Do you regard the consequences for what you do in the now if the future does not exist?

Regarding consequences (in the now) for your actions (in the now) is a good way to implement risk control.

 

The popular alternative, not regarding consequences for actions, does not enable risk control.

 

 

Clarifying the Consequences

 

supports risk management

 

Clip: http://people.wwc.edu/student/

davire/Consequences.jpg

 

 

 

 

Sun, 04 Jun 2006

 

One Hotseat to Relationship Turnaround

(My Chief asked me to share this.)

In January 2006 I was looking to divorce my wife of 5 years. Although I had been a member of TTP for 6 months, it was the first time that I took the issue of my marriage to the hotseat.

 

It was a good hotseat, but I can't say that I got any great Aha's from it.

 

However the next morning as I was reading I felt this great burst of love towards my wife. I went in to give her a hug and expressed my intention to work on resolving the conflict between us.

 

Five months later I'm happy to report that things have never been better between us!

I've never understood how TTP works, why it works, I'm not even sure if I send or receive correctly. But every meeting I go through the motions and am constantly amazed at the progress that I've made in many different areas of my life. It's like magic.

Thank you, Ed, for starting this forum. And thank you to my Tribe members for their support and great receiving abilities.
 

Thank you for sharing your process.

 

 

 

In TTP, We Apply our Magic Wands

 

to our drum heads

 

Clip: http://www.jeffthemagician.com/images/

imagestricks/mwand2.jpg

Sun, 4 Jun 2006

 

Weight Up

RE: Final Weigh-In

Muscle weighs more than fat.

He'll surely trend either toward weight loss or weight gain ... but it says nothing about his health or what he looks like.

It is possible to lose weight and at the same time have an unhealthy blood lipid profile and a higher 'body fat' percentage.

The mirror usually clarifies.

OK.

 

 

Putting on Lots of Weight

 

might be the healthy move

 

 

Clip: http://www.cfreport.org/images/baby/baby1.jpg

Sun, 4 Jun 2006

 

Trouble with Snapshots


Hi Ed,

I take the hot seat with several issues on my emotional radar but with no focal point. The prospect of creating a four square snapshot brings them into focus, so I concentrate on that. I can develop a snapshot for Body but not the other three. The prospect of meeting my commitment of providing a snapshot at the next meeting fills me with dread. With the prompting of my process manager I curl over and hold my head in my hands; everyone in the tribe encourages me by drumming and constant vocalizations. I intensify the experience to surf the wave.

My hotseat seems to go on and on and on. At one point I need the drumming to quiet down so I attempt to direct my receivers by a hand signal. I am in CM for a very brief time. They get the message and I go back to experiencing my forms.

After several more forms I feel exhausted so I lie down on the floor. My process manager tells me to feel relaxed, to feel heavy. I comply. After awhile I get back into my chair. I return to the snapshot issue. After more forms and encouragement I reach a zero point and an aha emerges: No matter what I can come up with for the snapshot I will have to work on issues I do not want to work on as the result of next meeting's snapshot. But that's fine; I experience the forms and enjoy them. The same thing will happen in the moment of Now called next meeting.

Thanks, Ed.

Thank you for sharing your process.  TTP can support your growth if and only if you are willing to receive it.

 

 

 

Being Willing

 

has its moments

 

 

Clip: http://www.joeks.com/archives_mar2003/

WeWilling.gif

Sat, 03 Jun 2006

 

Wants to Invest


Dear Ed,

Please could you give me further information about investing with you.

I work as a doctor of medicine in the UK. I am looking to invest approx $40,000.


I am keen to invest for the long-term. I appreciate that volatility is a part of trading and have no problem with this. I have also read about trend following over the past few years and can understand its merits.

Please could you give me an opportunity to invest with you.

Some of my requirements for investors are:

 

The amount you commit to speculating must be less than 10% of your liquid net worth.

 

You must be willing to lose 1/2 of that amount - and than walk away without financial or psychological trauma if such a loss occurs.

 

In this case, if you have at least $400,000 LNW and are willing to lose $20,000 we can talk further.

Sat, 3 Jun 2006

 

Final Weigh In


The final weigh in this morning is 244lbs.

Thanks for your guidance and comments during this process.

Hmmm ... I wonder what follows the final weigh in.

Thu, 1 Jun 2006

 

Snapshot Experiment

One requirement for IVTT membership is to further develop the work.

Tonight I am experimenting with bringing an integrated four part snapshot to my own tribe. It's one snapshot that integrates all 4 of the quadrants into one image.

Image: My wife and I are dancing. I am spinning her out with one hand while I lift and balance a small platform loaded up with 2 5-kg weights and two bags of money. My daughters are trying to dance with us. My son is hiding behind a chair enjoying the spectacle and not wanting us to know it.

Title: 'Cha Cha Ching'

Description: I am physically fit and financially independent. I sell trader support services to some of the best portfolio managers in the world.  I manage money for myself and a few carefully selected clients. I am well compensated for the high returns and low draw downs that I provide for my clients. I maintain my balance and I'm having loads of fun dancing the Cha Cha Ching with my wonderful wife and our three children.

Feelings: I want to put a specific amount of money in the bags and I don't do so because of the workshop advice that specific amounts lack emotional content. I might take this into the hot seat.

Thank you for sharing your process.

 

 

 

The Dance of Life

 

can include Relationship,

Right Livelihood, Body and Fun

 

 

 

Clip: http://www.molndalsdansskola.se/

nyheter/j0233446.gif

Thu, 1 Jun 2006

 

Hello Breathwork Support Team!

As of June 1, 2006 I report that I complete the first month of trading in my fund. May is a volatile month with performance up about 10.5% from beginning equity at one point and down about 3.5% at another point. The month ends with gross performance of about -2.1%. I raise a small amount ($62K) of additional assets in May, and assets under management as of June 1 are just over $1.1 million.

I plan to attend the Managed Funds Association conference in Chicago this month in order to introduce myself to institutional and high net worth individual investors and to increase the visibility of my firm.

My fitness plan did not go so well in May. My weight is up about 4 pounds from my last report, as I partially abandon my fitness routine while I focus on my business operations. Now that the fund is up and running I plan to recommit to my fitness plan and get right back on the system.

I commit to continue to report my assets under management to you, my Breathwork support team, on the first of each month until I reach $5 million under management.

Thanks for your support!

Thank you for sharing your process.

 

If you link business focus to abandoning your fitness routine, your fund and your stomach may balloon at the same time.

 

 

 

Putting on Weight

 

can indicate healthy growth.

 

 

Clip: http://www.cdt.luth.se/~nanna/

tovah/birth/AUT_7284.JPG

Thu, 1 Jun 2006

 

Bear Market


Dear Ed

Magazine covers are a recurring theme in FAQ.
A bear has appeared on the front of the Economist.

Does the headline SUBLIMINALLY give its answer: i.e the picture says: markets are heading down.

Or, shall we view this headline as being from the CONSCIOUS mind of a journalist struggling for better ideas.

I think that if a 'theory of magazine covers' is going to exist then this distinction is an important one.

Good luck as always!

 

 

 

The Theory of Magazine Cover Indicators is that vivid covers tend to memorialize societal abreactions and indicate turning points.

 

In the case of a bear on the cover, if that bear were raging, you might expect the decline to be near the end.

 

In the case of a benign bear peeking out from behind a tree, with an ambiguous caption, the cover might not indicate much of an abreaction.

 

Such analytics are typically delicate, unreliable and subject to misinterpretation.

 

Aside from that, the Magazine Cover Indicator works pretty well, particularly in retrospect.

 

Thu, 1 Jun 2006

 

Seminar-Cambridge

Mr. Seykota, (or Ed),

 

I mailed my registration for your seminar in Cambridge today. After I mailed it I noticed that there was a stipulation of a postmark date of May 30. I apologize, please except my registration if you can or provide me any adjustments required.

You may remember an e-mail I sent you several months ago. I indicated I was going through chemotherapy. I am finished now, living very much in the now of each day. I have your Trading Tribe book and look forward to contributing to the seminar any way I can.

I would like to share more with you relating to my AHA moments as a struggling teenager, the genetic optimization program I wrote for building portfolios, and a few other things, but I won’t burden you now. Perhaps before, during, or after the seminar there will be a moment for this, or perhaps not.

I have never traded a contract in my life, but I really enjoy intellectually pursuing issues as if I were active. To that note, I suspect this question may tread on your FAQ rules, but maybe not. I see your diversification study. I see the single market scaling of contracts with a specified heat of 10% and the diversified heat of 5%. What I am intently wondering is if when applying the 5% heat factor for the combined portfolio does each market get to draw from the combined equity of both markets at an individual 5% heat factor, or does each market keep its own running equity total for which each draw a respective 5% heat from for sizing the contracts. If the answer cannot be a simple A or B, I patiently await some supporting data for the diversified simulation to complete my fascinations.

Thanks again, I really admire some of your frankness and insights.

Workshop prices hold until I change them.  Your registration stands at the lower price.  For the latest prices, see the Workshop link, above.

 

The 5% heat factor means each instrument assumes risk of 5% of the total account equity.

Thu, 1 Jun 2006

 

Risk


Sir,

What is risk?

Risk is the product of the probability of an (undesirable) event and the impact of the event.

 

You can learn more about your feelings about about risk and locate and untie any k-nots you might have about risk in your Tribe.

 

 

 

A Risky Situation

 

has a high probability

and a high impact

 

 

 

Clip: http://static.flickr.com/29/

52461965_3978e2edec.jpg

Thu, 1 Jun 2006

 

Judging Judging and Going in Circles


(5/17/06 Judging the judge)
Ed says, "Trying to be non-judgmental presupposes a judgment about being judgmental"

(5/15/06 Going in Circles)
Ed says:
PM: So are you willing to do TTP?
S: No, I don't want to.
PM: OK, thank you. So let's have a check out and then go to the next person


Dear Ed,

I think you are right on, as I have a knot in judgment, and the second FAQ is a prime example. When I feel the sender is not really giving her best effort (i.e. not willing), it feels like I am judging her progress, and I keep telling myself that I need to be supportive instead of analyzing her, and that whatever the sender does is the right thing, even including what appears to be going in circle. As you say in the 6/24/04 FAQ (Why is trading so different), "TTP suspends belief in the JCT trilogy: judgment, causality and time."

I notice you have a similar example in the Trading Tribe book when a member's wife is calling for help to change her husband. However, in my case, the person actually shows up at a tribe meeting, claims that she wants to try, goes on the hot seat, but appears to be going in circle.

From a systematic view, I guess I attract her into this drama, and so my best way out is to experience my feeling towards this "going-in-circle" experience. Now, since we have only a total of three members (including myself), so she is going to be either process-managing or receiving my session. Hmmm, an interesting experiment ...Thanks.

Thank you for sharing your process.

 

 

 

Attempts to Extricate Yourself from a K-not

 

provide the motive power

to drive you around the cycle.

 

 

Clip: http://www.tobonline.com/ArticlePictures/

Volume84Pix/stop-guesswork.jpg

Thu, 1 Jun 2006

 

Reframing Trading from Guessing to Process

Dear Ed,

At our company tribe meeting (on 5/27) I work through on three forms and reintegrate them to arrive at the zero point. The whole process is over in less than 10 minutes. A very simple and very powerful experience.

The first form is related to not knowing whether to sell or keep holding on as my open profits are declining. The next is related to feelings of having my clients (who are also father figures) second guess me. The third is related to the "good" feeling of getting out of my gold stocks at the top.


I experience in turn the shifting of tension from one arm to the other as I can't decide whether to sell or hold, and then doubling over a bit from a stomach feeling related to the second guessing from the clients, and arms fully stretched into the air like superman leaping a tall building in a single bound for getting out at the top in the gold market. You encourage me to alternate the forms rapidly and let my body find the composite form. I find it and hold onto it. I let myself enjoy it and fully experience it.


I take it to the tipping point and relax as I hold it even longer. I feels really cool. You ask me to get back into the composite form and really enjoy it. I am willing and I go for it. I take it to the very end and let go gently. I am calm and centered.

I realize that no matter how good my system is there will always be lots of things I could of or should have done better. When I reframe the trading process as one of just playing the odds, it's clear that perfection isn't even an option. It doesn't matter one bit if I could have done something better in retrospect as long as I follow my system. My task becomes one of developing and following a profitable system instead of constantly making the "right" decisions day in and day out.

During checkout I commit to going live with a mechanical system within 2 months.

Thank you for sharing your process.

 

 

 

Fundamental Analysis

is basically trying to guess right.

 

Trend Trading is a process

in which right and wrong

are irrelevant.

 

 

Clip: http://www.tobonline.com/

ArticlePictures/Volume84Pix/stop-guesswork.jpg

Thu, 1 Jun 2006

 

Transferring Dumb K-nots

Dear Ed,

The night's snapshot process has a clear theme related to feelings about honoring and not honoring commitments.

On the hot seat, I have an issue with several self-deprecating comments that I make during the snapshot process. I get into the feelings and forms and recall my father frequently insulting me and calling me dumb. I tell you this and you encourage me to get into my form and say the word dumb over and over as I do it. I really get into it. First with derision, you're such a dummy. You dumb ass. Then with anger. You are so f---ing dumb. Dumb dumb dumb!. Then musically. Dumb dee dumb dumb. Trying all sorts of variations until my form overtakes and I can't speak, I am literally dumb! I go blank.


When I come back you ask me how did it feel. All I can say is 'really dumb!' which gets quite a few chuckles.

You ask me if I am willing to do it again and really get into it. I really get into it with all the intention I can muster. During the process I have a vision. I am six years old, sitting at the table with my father and he is paying me for the grades on my report card. He pays me less than he previously agrees to pay me. I point out that he owes me 5 cents more. He goes over the math and I notice that he is not paying me 5 cents for a B- in one subject. He exclaims: B minus!! That's almost a C! I feel really hurt and angry that he is breaking his agreement with me. We are now in line with the theme of the night: breaking agreements.

When I tip I relate the vision and feelings to you. You ask me to get into them again. I end up on the futon. I smash my fist into the pillow over and over again losing touch with all rational thought. Yelling at my father and letting out 35 years of repressed anger. I collapse onto the mattress and a feeling of calmness overcomes me.

As of today (5/31) I can report that my relationship with my father is better. I understand better that he transferred the k-nots he received from his father down to me. He considers himself dumb (he's definitely not) and his father taught him that he could never succeed just because of who he is. I remember him telling me the opposite many times: "a [family name] can do anything" and it was very clear from the joking tone of his voice that he did not believe it. Yet somehow by repeatedly telling me that statement that he did not even believe, he made it possible for me to go much further than he ever could even while doubting my own worthiness.

With my natural abilities there are few limits to my success other than the feelings that I have in k-nots. I thank you and the tribe for helping me overcome my feelings of unworthiness. I am able to dream dreams that I could never dream before and I know that I am on the road to as much success as I am willing to accept.

Thank you for sharing your process.

 

 

 

One Consequence of Thinking you are Smart

 

is suddenly being surrounded

by dummies

 

 

Clip: http://sandhill.typepad.com/

sandhill_trek/images/dumb.jpg

Thu, 1 Jun 2006

 

Stretch

Dear Ed,

My issue relates to a comment from during the snapshot process that I am not stretching myself enough.

I go through a number of forms and eventually I end up on the futon in the middle of the floor stretching myself from the tip of my toes to the tip of my fingers. I stretch so hard then when I tip I feel pain in my shoulder.

You ask me the positive intent of the pain. It's there to prevent me from doing serious damage to my body. To remind me not to stretch myself too much.

 

You ask if I am willing to do it again and enjoy it. This time I stretch out to just to the point where the stretch goes from feeling good to feeling painful. I ride that edge and enjoy it. My breathing stops and I approach the blackout point. I relax and my head spins as I let my breathing returns.

I do it once more with gusto and before I get to the dizzy point I find myself up on my feet feeling like a conqueror. I let some anger out toward my father for tying k-nots and holding me back, punch the pillow and then strut to the couch all confident and filled with feelings of greatness.

You ask me how I am feeling. I say great. You ask me if there is anything else going on. I search my body and find a queasiness in my stomach. I tell you I don't want to work on that one because I'm afraid I might have to use the ceremonial barf bucket. Are you willing to experience the feeling in your stomach? Yes, but I'm afraid. Good, make that feeling in your stomach bigger. And sure enough, I eventually after a succession of forms end up on all fours heaving over the bucket.

I say that I am done. I am not, I have some things going on in my head.


During checkout another Tribe member says he feels that I am not done, that the feeling in his stomach passes but there is something in his head that did not get cleared out. Very perceptive.

Later during his hot seat my head clears. Very strange.

On Saturday during our Company tribe meeting I commit to a heavy load. One that is far from easy given my other obligations yet still within the realm of possibility. I am better able to stretch. Only the next two weeks will tell if I stretch too much.

Thank you for sharing your process.

 

 

 

 

Stretching and Growing

 

go together

 

 

 

Clip: http://www.teenbodybuilding.com/mark5b.jpg

Thu, 1 Jun 2006

 

Comp [let->etit] ion

Hi Ed,

It is great to see your new FAQ after a month! I was feeling worried if something unfortunate happens to you that you are not able to maintain it. (I don't know how that thought comes about) In any case, glad to see your answers. This incidence reminds me of not taking things for granted. I wholeheartedly appreciate your sharing. THANKS!!

In the 5/14/06 FAQ (Gas Price War), when you say, "While the chain letter does not request government intervention (which tends to reduce completion)...", do you mean reduce competition (instead of completion)?
Thanks.

Thank you for the encouragement and for the catch.