October 01 - 16, 2006
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(Quotes from Ed in Red)
Sun, 15 Oct
Ed writes on Sep 30:
"One of the properties of pornography is the dehumanization of women,
the reduction of women to their sexual aspect. Your reference to women
as bitches might also tend to dehumanize women."
It has to be said, thought I, great!!!
Ed writes on Oct 2:
"Back Tests may help determine whether or not
your system fits you."
You see a really clad woman with a huge back really inviting to
"test" it. When I saw this I was really cringing!
(1) I see a contradiction. This picture and the saying connected to it
"invite" guys to treat women as objects. The girls is shown reduced to
sexual aspect of this huge back along with an invitation to "Back
Tests". You cannot see the face of the women or the head, they are cut
(2) One of my relatives also did some "back testing" in family by
hitting a females back despite being married. I really hated that!
(3) Isn't it lovely. There is a woman who really shows their sexuality
wearing such really tight trousers and this in red. Perhaps she enjoys
being an object of sexual attraction? Or does she just like the reddish
color? All in all it was her choice to show up like that. Is she
responsible for the consequences or is it the man who is hitting the
The subtitle beneath the picture indicates that's completely adequate to
test this back?
I also remember some "goldilocks" ghosting around. She was "testing" the
.... somehow also funny :-)
... hoping very much the guys are doing the right back testing after
those proposals. I see somebody already putting the pictures on the
"back test" computer :-))) working hours and hours instead of back
testing the girls :-) Hopefully.
PS I really love your jokes! EG "London Symphony Orchestra" or the
gorilla in the banana, still laughing my head off.
Thank you for sharing your process.
You might consider taking your feelings about objectifying women to your
tribe as an entry point.
Sometimes We Objectify Men
Sun, 15 Oct
I hope you are doing fine.
I have to say that I am really pleased with your FAQ.
Somebody wrote: The truth is I'm a coward, and I'm ashamed to admit it.
I am also a coward and really happy that school and teenage years are
over! No need to be in the roller coaster anymore and dying of fear
because "everybody" is doing it.
In delving in the pleasures of being grown up your books are also a
great help. After reading in the book "Emotional Blackmail" written by
Susan Forward I managed to talk to my brother about our relationship. It
was an urgent need to do it after the "real-time TTP" I had going on the
last weeks. The relationship is still not very clear but I feel now much
more confident to act out what is on my head and say what I mean. I
cannot put it in words, but there is definitely a change.
I also had some discussions with my parents and afterwards I was going
mad that they are surely going to hate me now till the end of my life.
Concerning these turmoils, I am most happy with the book "Toxic
Parents". I decided to enjoy the love in the relationship to my parents
which is really to enjoy and to get out of the scenery when the weather
I also get the impression it's not so important any longer to have a
satisfying relationship in this life, but seriously working on the idea
to have one. The worries that I will never have one are completely gone!
Instead I am just working on the tasks at hand among others looking for
a relationship to somebody I am interested in. That's a complete change
of view after my "real-time TTP" during the last weeks. I am really
grateful for your description of TTP and "Rocks" which really forwarded
I actually bought a nice flowery file to keep some ideas concerning
personal development. It will contain snapshots and diverse material so
don't feel forced to post anything :-). Meanwhile, I have to say that I
am really enjoying the quotes on self-discovery posted by you on October
Thank you for sharing your process.
Sat, 14 Oct
I read this
and thought of sending and receiving - especially those circumstances
where those NOT sending or receiving spoke of things lifting by just
being in the room.
"The most significant finding was the discovery of "mirror neurons," a
widely dispersed class of brain cells that operate like neural WiFi.
track the emotional flow, movement and even intentions of the person we
are with, and replicate this sensed state in our own brain by stirring
in our brain the same areas active in the other person" which may be an
explanation of this. The author also wrote Emotional Intelligence.
Yes, people sometimes call the
process of tuning in to someone "pacing" or "mirroring."
Sat, 14 Oct
Hello Again Ed,
Maybe this is my "authority drama" coming out again, but I feel its an
important contribution for trend following traders to read.
When a system is produced, most prefer a low draw down system (
including me), thus avoiding the discomfort of large draw downs.
But there is a costly price to pay for using tight stops, and that is
price of missing out on compounding growth percentages.
There will always be those outlier stocks that can run up by enormous
percentages over long periods, 1000% or more is what I am referring to
Simple examination of these stocks will generally show large contra
trend fluctuations of up to or more than 30-50%, and a tight stop can
rarely hold on to these for these outsized gains.
The initial trade may be a buy at $1 and it may run to $1.80 before
getting stopped out at $1.55.
The point is this, and its a very big point.
When the stocks stops falling and resumes its uptrend, the trader will
more than likely re-enter with the same % risk of his capital, rather
than the original trade size, because it would violate the "percent of
capital risked per trade" amount.
So even if he gets stopped and re-enters many times, following the stock
on its 1000% rise, he will get a vastly inferior return than a trader
who has held on from the initial $1 entry with a wide stop and one long
Holding a smaller position with a wider stop loss, can allow these large
conter-trend moves without getting stopped out, or breaking risk
principles, even if many pyramid entries are needed to get the full risk
sized trade in place initially.
If initial maximum risk is $1000 with a 50% stop, the trader will only
typically be able to buy about 20% of his normal size. So when the stock
rises to allow the stop to be raised to reduce initial risk to $500,
then he may add another $500 risk to his trade, and keep doing this
until he achieves his correct full size position.
Then the trade can see huge percentage returns on these outlier trades,
and still do it without violating his risk rules.
The price to pay for this is just a higher average entry price from
multiple entries, and higher potential draw downs AFTER a large gain has
already been achieved. .
So, in a nutshell:
Ascertain the amount in percent that a stock has fallen within its
uptrend, and decide how many percent it can fall before you consider the
uptrend to be broken, and place your stop a little wider than that,
measured down from the most recent high.
Using this tack, you can enter on a new high, or during a rise out of
one of the dips.
The stop is not raised until a new high is made, or else this would
violate the principles.
I feel this is a worthy exchange.
To remove all feelings of living my authority drama, I will add this
proverb thus ridiculing myself.
A fool thinks he can teach others,
what he himself has just been learning ...
Systems and Rules seldom provide a
cure for feelings. If you dislike the feelings you have during
drawdowns or the feelings of following rules, you might consider taking
them to the hot seat.
Before You Remove Something
you might first consider
its positive intention.
Sat, 14 Oct
Hope you are doing well, and sorry for not posting anything for a while.
As you may remember, I haven't had much luck with the trading tribe, but
recently a good friend of mine has been going to gamblers anonymous,
and was telling me about the methods they use.
I found it interesting that the process they use to help addicted
gamblers is more or less the same as your TTP method. They simply take
turns to tell the group their experiences while to others listen and one
receiver asks appropriate questions.
The stories were incredible, and some problems were just horrific. One
gambler had stolen £50,000 from his partners joint business account and
blown the lot at the casino, and was fearing the backlash after his
partner discovered his actions.
Another had lost his wife and family due to online poker, causing him to
urinate down his leg (without removing trousers) while waiting for the
next card to come, instead of going to the toilet!
His house stunk so much that the family left him, and of course he lost
most of his money.
My friend's problem was bad, but not as bad a those above, and he said
it helps him to stop, and explained that the meeting coordinator told
him, "We don't know why this works, but it does"
As it happened, my friend turned out to be an excellent receiver and we
did some sessions, with me listening to his gambling problem, and him
listening to my trading problems.
He seemed to be able to hold the subject very well, and maintain focus
on the key roots of these problems.
I realized a few things, which I actually didn't like much about myself.
This time there wasn't actually an "aha" moment, but it was more like a
kind of unhappy realization of some deep character imperfections that I
have stored up over my lifetime.
This "authority drama" you mentioned before has more to it than the
first sessions showed.
I realized that when I was a child, I didn't get the "right kind of
attention from my parents" meaning, I felt I was different from the rest
of my family ( I still do) and this led to creation of "dramas" to get
the attention I wanted.
If I was just being myself, I didn't fit in very well, and being the
youngest, I was often criticized.
It wasn't until later in life that I met people similar to myself who I
could identify with, and also parents of my other friends proved very
solid in their understanding of me.
This helped me a lot to validate the importance of my own character,
gave me self belief, which before was always suppressed by my family who
appeared to want to change me in some way. I realized it wasn't any
fault with me, but just some differences between my family and myself.
In spite of this, the drama is still there in some ways, and these are
I sometimes prefer to be absorbed in programming, improving my already
excellent system instead of using it to make money. Trying to improve
the ratios, instead of accepting they are already good, and capable of
spitting out cash regularly.
I often prefer to teach others how to trade, and advise them for free on
their own positions, above doing my own trading.
I desire to trade others funds for them and make them money, and ask
nothing in return. Why?
I often feel the need to impress others, who I deem as being "successful
business people" , and you will see this in my early correspondence with
I spend a lot of time thinking about how to teach others, and what I
will say to them.
I don't actually enjoy this so much, but its like an impulsive thing I
just do, even when I have more important things to do for myself. Its
kind of "taking me over" sometimes, similar to the "emotional hijacking"
referred to in the book Emotional intelligence.
I make myself excuses, giving reasons NOT to trade, preferring to
prepare other new signals for my system, all of which contain many
complex lines of code, thus making this more and more time consuming.
Yesterday, I had a good buy signal which looked like a great trade, and
I didn't do it, as some feelings of " I cant be bothered with this
trade" Came to me.
Why did I feel like this?
All these things are also affecting my relationships, as I prefer the
playboy lifestyle, rather than committing to one lady. I don't enjoy the
feeling of being in love, in case the lady can leave me.
I am quite happy to chase an impossible woman until I get what I want.
Once I have conquered her and she loves me, I reject her. Why do I keep
Making money, is being put into second place behind these above
I will do more work on these things next time, to see if I can find how
to prevent it, but I would like to hear your comments on this.
How can this drama be removed from my personality?
How can I resume being a pure trader, instead of a trader / programmer /
teacher / mentor?
My own trading account is doing well, and has just have reached 15,000%
profit from 6 years 8 months work, but most of this was done in the
early years, and performance in the last 2 years has been way below my
You might consider noticing the
feeling that comes up just before you engage the drama.
In case you use the drama to
"medicate" the feeling, you might be able to dissolve the drama by
experiencing the positive intention of the feeling.
Sometimes We Use Drama
like a drug
to make a feeling we don't like
Thu, 12 Oct
At a recent IV tribe meeting I engage in the rock process. The process
manager takes me into memories of childhood, looking for a traumatic
charge, where I acquired the rock. I name the rock "surrender", and
notice I have surrendered at various times in my life, when there were
better options available.
I recall a traumatic morning, about age 5, when my father insists I get
dressed and go to Sunday school. I am on the floor throwing a tantrum.
My father is physically stuffing my arms into my suit coat. My mother is
standing nearby, crying.
The tribe recreates this scene. I throw a tantrum on the floor. A tribe
member physically tries to put a coat on me while I resist. Another
tribe member stands by crying. We go through this process several times.
The first time, at the end, my "father" hands me the rock of surrender,
as I have surrendered to his will to go to Sunday school. The second
time, I refuse the rock. The process is physically and emotionally
Weeks after the meeting, I notice feeling continually disconnected from
day-to-day affairs, that I ignore some things that need urgent
attention, and don't care. I am in some state where business and family
responsibilities don't matter. Somehow my 'motivator' is now
uninstalled. I recall feeling this latent tendency at other times, but
it is now accentuated as a dominant perception.
I notice other tribe members who have been through the rock process in
similar states of consciousness.
I feel the need to reconstruct some motivator to keep my business and
i am enjoying exploring this neutral state. I am too neutral to even be
depressed. I am simply neutral, idling. I've stripped the gears.
At the Davis tribe, we spontaneously engage in the preliminary part of
the rock process, identifying a feeling of "I'm not good enough". The
process manager finds a small rock and gives it to the hot sitter. He,
of course, responds that the rock is not good enough, it's too small. So
it is perfect.
Thank your for sharing your process
and for your willingness to experiment with this process.
We are noticing people who go
through the Rocks Process typically experience feelings of
disconnection, disorientation and emptiness in response to removal of
the toxic rock.
These feelings seem to persist until
the client installs a healthy rock in its place.
We are finding we can uninstall the
toxic rock and install a healthy rock all during one session.
One of the Signs
of Successful Rock Removal
is an empty feeling.
Tue, 10 Oct
I have carried my “sacrifice” rock around, and I notice occasional
rather subtle ‘automatic’ decisions I make that result in me or attempts
to result in me sacrificing something (like an object, an experience, an
opportunity to get something).
I also have a lot of trouble ‘just noticing’ these sacrifices as you
initially suggest, sometimes I respond quickly and alter my decision
upon such noticing, I do not like my frequent use of automatic
sacrificing at all, I now see this ‘over use’ as something that seems to
weigh me down from getting on in life. I currently don’t know when or
where I receive this heavy rock, but I’ll tell you what I really want to
give it back!
For the last few days and right now I notice a “stale” feeling, I also
notice being more tired in morning, I am experiencing ongoing mental
blockage to finding solutions to help overcome hurdles and complete my
system, I find it much more difficult to exercise, I am struggling to
embrace ways to have fun and everyday tasks feel more of an effort,
although I get them done.
One personal issue I am experiencing is my father has aggressive
prostate cancer (Gleeson 9), over the past 18 months I have provided him
with much research on the condition as well as information on therapies
and advice that might help him fight the cancer. I discover a Professor
in Switzerland who has much success in reducing PSA levels and provides
some patients with better health, so much so that they surpass their
doctor’s life expectancies, with little sign of weakening to the cancer.
Until recently I have been (along with most of the family) trying to
influence my father into a 3 week stay in a clinic in Switzerland, in
the hope he will respond well to the treatment (which reports of very
little side effects). He currently is honoring a “chemo targeting” drug
trial (phase 2 trial drug/very early stage trial) that appears to be a
dosage test, because this is drug is so new the Doctors they are unclear
about its effectiveness to fight cancer. Since being on the trial his
PSA which started at 8, the PSA results double at each appointment to
check on PSA level, it last stands at 70.
When I talk with my father, I notice his responses suggest he has not
read the materials I send him, or listened to me when discussing the
options with him. I realize that I have my own selfish feeling to have
him make all the decisions that make sense to me. I take all this to my
last tribe meeting and I am now willing to just support as best I can,
be there for him, and walk with him through what ever comes up.
Yesterday I spoke with him and he wants me to talk with his Oncologist
to discuss my concerns.
Thank you for sharing your process.
Sat, 7 Oct
Do you think TTP has a use in helping suffers of panic attacks and
alcohol abuse. If I was to explain the process and the person was
willing to accept the assistance would this be beneficial, do you have
any experience with this? My concern is that these disorders may need
more professional help than I am capable of. I welcome your comments.
In TTP, Forms Processing appears
effective in rehabilitating emotional expression and alignment of
emotions, thoughts and intentions.
Occasionally it may also help to
clear a light "addictive" pattern.
We are currently applying the Rocks
Process to deal with deeper issues such as Signature Forms, deep
emotional trauma and more intense types of addiction.
In all cases, willingness on the
part of the client appears essential.
Addiction is Sometimes
just another way
to avoid feelings
Sat, 7 Oct
Love & Hate
Ed, which is the positive intention of anger? I find such a feeling so
instinctive, mysterious and masculine. I believe attempts to contain it
may lead to drama, such as being abused. I notice in your posts that you
might have a judgment about it.
Anger tends to associate with
invasion and intends to support protection of boundaries.
Fri, 06 Oct
Pigeons and TTP
An experiment carried out by B.F. Skinner:
A number of hungry pigeons were allowed a free run in a laboratory in
which, every few minutes at regular intervals, some grains of corn were
automatically dispensed by a machine. The next morning it was observed
that the pigeons showed very strange behavior; some ran around with
their heads held high up in the air, others trailed one wing on the
floor while holding up the other, and others made different obsessive
movements of one kind or another.
What happened was this. The hungry pigeon, in running around the
laboratory, makes all sorts of movements; when, quite by accident, some
grain is thrown on the floor while it is making one particular movement,
it gets the message that because the corn was thrown /after /it made a
certain movement, therefore it was thrown /because /it made that
movement! The bird is now more likely to make the movement again, in the
hope of encouraging more manna from heaven. By pure chance, on each
occasion, food will again be thrown on the floor, and the bird will be
confirmed in its (entirely erroneous) hypothesis. Thus the probability
of its making the movement will increase, until by the morning it will
be running around making it all the time!
Is this us doing TTP?
During the past 16 months of practicing TTP my life has greatly
improved; many thanks to you and my tribe members. TTP has been a
wonderful tool for me. But would another tool have done the same magic?
In programmer's jargon is TTP one of many helpful subclasses of the
You might consider finding out if
you are in a TTP Skinner Box by trying TTP for awhile with one wing on
Fri, 6 Oct
My account falls as I misunderstand my first options position I spend
two weeks on holiday planning.
I read several option specific books and not one of them mentions that
non quarterly options are settled against the nearest quarterly future
not the same month’s future. Perhaps only quarterly options existed when
these ‘definitive’ books were written. This lesson costs me a small
fortune, around 70% of my account. I was in quite heavy as it was ‘low
risk’ and the required margin for the trade was low which lead me to
believe what I was doing was correct and indeed low risk. It seems my
broker offsets Oct futures and Oct options which seems mad to me as they
are not as pure a hedge as Oct options and Dec futures. For this combo
they don’t offset and require additional margin this seems wrong to me
as they are eventually to be settled against the same price.
I feel when I conquer one mistake (I no longer average losers) there is
another lesson that needs to be learnt just around the corner. This
frustration wells up inside of me as I feel I’m so far behind I’ll never
get ahead, even if I do well from this day on. This of course is not
true, it’s just my feelings pump making me feel the frustration I so
often ignore as I try to maintain a ‘positive outlook’ (ignore the
reality of the now)
I wonder where hypnotism fits in and if hypnotism is a good way to
access Fred and see why he does what he does?
I wonder if Ed has any comments or experiences of hypnosis he’d like to
My reservation is that unlike TTP, it is not you that is left to
interpret what comes out it is some practitioner you are perhaps more
passive in the process than in TTP.
I enclose a picture that forms the basis of a snapshot I work on. It
works like a collage with words and pictures added to it. I look for
photos of me and my long term girlfriend looking happy and relaxed to
add to it. I’m reluctant to add children as I don’t want to produce an
image of what they ‘should’ look like so perhaps a suggestion of
children’s paraphernalia might work in its place. I celebrate 8 years
with my girlfriend this weekend, all of it’s been great and it gets
better everyday. It feels I’ve got this area in hand, perhaps I need to
enjoy and appreciate the now before Fred will let me move on to the next
level. Thanks for running FAQ's as an outlet for me to share what’s
going on to me. If I ever get this house you’ll be on the list for the
moving in party.
In TTP, drumming tends to induce a
light trance. We use a more intentional form of hypnotism in the Rocks
One Characteristic of Trance
is a narrowing of focus
Thu, 5 Oct
As per our conversation I wanted to write you my thoughts on my
experience with your work that had happened 3 weeks ago now.
Well as you know I have done a lot of personal growth seminars through
out the last 20 years and as a Certified Life Coach I had a lot of
One day, one of my clients saw me in deep despair about some situations
in my life. I knew I couldn't get a clear perspective on it by myself.
He then brought me to you. You not only authorized him to bring me to
your home but you also opened your wisdom and knowledge and took me back
to a place that allowed me on a physical not just mental level to
resolve my deeply rooted trauma.
technique was so powerful that it took couple of days for me to adjust
to the new change in me. After that however things started to transform
in my life in ways I had not anticipated.
I had been
looking for solutions outside myself for so long and now that I was
finally reconnected to my true self I was generating new people and
positive situation in my life. I got some release and clarity. I am not
going to say that it was a permanent cure ... but it shifted an
imbalance in my life and gave me new tools to create a life I love.
I want to
thank you for your generosity towards me on that day and I would like to
thank [Name, who plays my mother in the Rocks Process] who was a vital
instrument in the deliverance of my problem. I wish for you to continue
your work for so many people can truly benefit from your knowledge.
Thank you for sharing your process.
Thu, 5 Oct
FAQ's are a Workshop.
Thank you for noticing.
Thu, 5 Oct
I take the hot seat at our TT meeting yesterday evening.
At the last meeting, I suggest we start the next meeting with the
snapshot process. However, the meeting starts and I still have no
snapshot. I take this issue to the hot seat, as I feel it is central to
my not resuming real trading despite many hours of positive back-tests,
ie. a form of procrastination. I just don't know what it is.
I start with the story and my receiver immediately picks ups on a form I
start to display. I feel a lot of fear inside and see that I have a
great fear of failure. I generate a whole series of forms, some that
I judge as really weird, but relentlessly encouraged by my receiver, I
express them. I feel there is a vortex of energy at the centre of my
being, drilling down into the floor, so I'm standing up spinning in the
centre of the room. I start to feel nauseous and giddy and collapse onto
the sofa. The vortex becomes like an inner tornado and I am making all
sorts of whooshing noises as a gale is raging inside me. I start
shouting out "Failure ! Failure ! Failure !" over & over. My receiver
says "More, more, louder, louder !" and I really get into it. A feeling
in my torso of terrified revulsion towards the possibility of failure is
intense, but after a while starts to feel quite pleasant. By now I'm on
my feet again, jumping up and down with my arms in the air.
The next thing
I remember, I'm back n the sofa curled up in a ball, having all sorts of
memories about my late mother and one stands out : I remember at the age
of 17, during the month of August when one's key exam results arrive by
post each morning, one at a time, my mother brings the envelopes to my
bedroom and wakes me up to open them. She wants me to get a place at
Oxford, where she had won a scholarship many years earlier; for this I
need 3 "A" grades, or pretty close. My best is a "B". I feel
disappointment, not for myself (I really don't care if I go to Oxford or
not - I'd prefer London ... it's the 1970s after all !), but for letting
my down my mother, who I adore and I know I am the favorite.
My receiver asks how does this feel & I'm on my feet again, jumping up
and down, roaring : I am ANGRY. I start stomping the floor, stomping
over my mother's dead body (she died last year). I stomp her into the
ground. It feels good. Now I shout "Failure, Failure, Failure" and
really start to enjoy it. My receiver asks how the idea of failing at
trading feels. I feel a shiver of fear across my chest. He asks to show
me this form and I'm on the sofa again tensing up, stretching out my
legs and tell him I feel a judge in there. I look for the judge, and it
all goes quiet inside. Then I visualize a goblin (the judge) with a
warty face and pointed nose and chin. I display this
goblin-failure-judge form and I'm making all sorts of guttural goblin
sounds; I really get into it for while... and then it all calms down. I
say "He just wants to be able to do that every now and then" and I feel
the positive intention of this fear of failing. To acknowledge that
failure is possible and that I must prepare well to succeed.
I feel very calm and expanded - and quite exhausted - and I show the
goblin form a few more times and enjoy it. I say "Failure!" really loud
and visualize the letters F A I L U R E in the air - it feels great and
has no negative charge. I am amazed that this all flows from my mother's
hopes for my academic success all those years ago ...
My receiver shares what a powerful experience it is for him, providing
him with all sorts of insight about himself. We drum and conclude the
Thank you for sharing your process.
Wed, 04 Oct
across this site and thought you might enjoy it.
Thank you for the link.
Wed, 04 Oct
Still at Two
At spare time I try to catch up with everything you write at your
homepage and I admit it's tough :-)
I guess it takes a whole lot of time to read and answer all questions
I have been diversifying my investments lately to different places where
it feels good and where I can stay in the long run. I only have one
third of my capital under own management. But still my most interesting
investment has not been done - and that is with you Ed. Do you have any
minimum amounts that is required, if you accept new investments? I know
you want people that supports your trading and I have that intention.
Even more so, I really would like to know you because I get so inspired
by you, but US is far from where I live - so I stick to read your
materials and send emails once in a while.
I also wonder about the books you are in progress with. I'm very eager
to read them as soon as they are finished. I really like your Trading
Tribe book. Maybe I should read it a third time;-)
Our Trading Tribe is in progress, but we're actually still only two
persons. We are both very dedicated and have hoped to get requests from
more people but it has been silent since the start in 2005. Instead I
have tried to build up Snapshot processes with different friends that
are complaining about not fulfilling their ambitions. It is working
quite well and I get to receive and send more.
You might consider taking your
feelings about being still at two to the hot seat.
Wed, 04 Oct
This past Friday at TT I took my feelings of not deserving success
and fearing failure to the hotseat. Throughout the week leading up to
Friday I had been questioning whether I was ready for success
specifically in my trading. This led me to think of all the past
situations where I had either avoided opportunities because I was afraid
of failure or questioned potentially successful situations because I
felt I did not deserve to be in that situation. One example that stood
out to me was how at times I felt like the woman that I am dating should
be with someone else, someone who is smarter, taller, more attractive,
etc. I truly felt at times that I did not deserve someone who was not
only a genuinely nice person but very attractive and smart.
Upon taking my feelings to the hotseat I began to notice an immense
butterflies in my stomach feeling. As my tribe encouraged me to
experience my feelings fully the feeling moved up my chest and became
lodged in lower throat. At this point I felt as if I wanted to expel
this "large stone" in my throat, but in my attempts to "throw up" the
stone my throat would get smaller and smaller making it seem impossible.
With more encouragement from my tribe I experienced this feeling of the
stone in my throat more fully and without the intent to expel it but to
just experience it. With my eyes closed I did just that and the rock in
my throat subsided, at that point I saw a semi bright white light and
felt a release of tension. I then became aware that my actions of
expelling fear came from my notion that successful people do not feel
fear and that is just not the case. The fear present in me is ok, all
I can do is acknowledge it and not try and sweep it under the rug.
With this breakthrough I want to take my feelings of specifically not
deserving my girlfriend to the hot seat in my next meeting. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing your process.
Wed, 04 Oct
I want to share the following video with you:
Wed, 04 Oct
When to hold and fold 'em.
Wed, 04 Oct
Commits to Self-Discovery
I go through much of life with little help or guidance and being as
stubborn as I am I do not ask for it from anyone; I want to figure it
all out alone and do everything for myself, by myself.
You provide this guidance through TTP and FAQ which has a
has an important effect on how I conduct my life even though I do not
ask for it.
I feel tremendous appreciation for this and remain
committed to continue my journey of self-discovery and find my right
livelihood despite of the perils Fred has in store.
Thank you for sharing your process
and for committing to the path of self-discovery.
You might be able to identify with
some of these thoughts:
You have to leave the city
of your comfort
and go into the wilderness
of your intuition.
What you'll discover will be wonderful. What you'll
discover is yourself.
Endurance is frequently
a form of indecision.
~Elizabeth Bibesco, Haven, 1951
Man cannot remake himself
for he is both the marble
and the sculptor.
~Dr. Alexis Carrel
The greatest explorer on this earth
never takes voyages
as long as those
of the man who descends
to the depth of his heart.
There came a time
when the risk
to remain tight in the bud
was more painful
than the risk it took to blossom.
All men should strive to learn
before they die
what they are running from,
and to, and why.
I know well what I am fleeing from
but not what I am in search of.
~Michel de Montaigne
If in the last few years
you haven't discarded a major opinion
or acquired a new one,
check your pulse.
You may be dead.
The man who views the world at fifty
the same as he did at twenty
has wasted thirty years of his life.
Perhaps the truth depends
on a walk around the lake.
One may understand the cosmos,
but never the ego;
the self is more distant than any star.
~ G.K. Chesterton,
If you resist reading
what you disagree with,
how will you ever acquire
deeper insights into what you believe?
The things most worth reading
are precisely those
that challenge our convictions.
To the question of your life
you are the answer,
and to the problems of your life
you are the solution.
Why should we honour those
that die upon the field of battle?
A man may show as reckless a courage
in entering into the abyss of himself.
~William Butler Yeats
These and More
Wed, 4 Oct
Follow-Up Since 1969
Checking my notes, I find I phoned you the eve of Sept 6.
My friend, [Name], apparently never connected with you when he was in
the Lake Tahoe area (he was mostly on the south side) the following
week. That is okay ... I'm not sure he was ready to meet with you, other
than briefly. Did you ever get his email?... and if so, any thoughts?
I just wanted to follow up since we talked. I have several ideas to
express, so decided to write it all down, not call, this time.... seems
to work well with you. Probably a good strategy... when folks write
(email you) - you get the chance to ponder, and respond at your leisure.
Make some notes as you go through this, as fodder for a response, which
I hope you will do. I know you are generally terse and to the point.
That is fine. This email is somewhat verbose, a little rambling and
long, but be patient with me...
I tried to go to your website about a week ago, and noticed it was taken
down - unavailable. This time, as opposed to a month ago, after it was
back up, I dug a bit deeper into your site.
I checked out the Charts area. What I really liked was the utter
simplicity of the charts, the way they are presented. Long-term to the
left, current daily to the right. The graphics are straight-forward and
simple. Did you write that chart-generator? Also, the organization of
the Futures categories is pretty good. Just curious - where do you get
your data, is it timely, and good quality? Am looking for a source, and
a backup source, -- in the meantime have been getting free data via
Yahoo Finance (CSI's - believe). In a very basic way - I am also
thinking of putting up a free-charts site, with opt-in capability to
register. Basically, a free subscription - to build a "list" of
prospects for other value-added services later. Perhaps you have some
thoughts or ideas?
The next thing I delved into was your two "simple" trading systems - the
tutorials - and the reader feedback. It was fascinating... all those
that duplicated your results on the second one (A Simple Trading
System-Support and Resistance), or nearly... due to floating point
rounding algorithmic issues. Those folks had to be very dedicated to
encode those systems, meanwhile learning all the concepts, and duplicate
I also read your System Math document, and the stuff about Donchian,
including his "system". I seem to recall you briefly worked for
(Shearson) / Hayden Stone around the early 70's ... Did you ever meet
the man? Your article said he started there around 1960. 1970 was a lot
later. Did you work with him? I know he was a great inspiration for you,
and you are "credited" with developing one of the first mechanized
trading systems ... was it under his tutelage? or his inspiration?
I have contacted you again after all these years because of my
motivation to help others in the trading/investing arena - in terms of
the premise of my new Internet offering, which is still in the planning
stages.... and you are THE MAN, as far as I'm concerned, when it comes
to trading (and self introspection with regards to dealing with personal
demons that affect trading and life).
Ed, I still remember vividly, when you once took me
into your Watertown, Massachusetts apartment, and showed me the
hand-updated Silver commodity charts on the walls.
Anyway, I hope I didn't inflate your head too much with
Most folks out there, whether they be traders or "investors" in the
traditional sense (stocks - buy and hold) - do not employ any type of
money management system, employing the use of stops, and position sizing
methodologies. So many, due to lack of information, and perhaps some
simple tools, have fared with disappointing results, or even disastrous
I would like to bring to light some education / informative articles,
charting tools, and perhaps even tools to help in stop-setting, and
managing trade risk, and by inference, portfolio risk. Most people do
not know or understand some of the terms you have told me about in the
past, such as "core equity", "heat", and "Bliss". I took careful notes
back in about 1990 when we were together, and found most of those
recently. I discovered I even tried to incorporate your formulas in my
charting system at one point (mid-1990's - a first step to building a
back-testing system), to measure the effectiveness of some strategies
(per chart) that I was investigating - I found that code also, and all
the "commenting" I left in there. It was never "activated".
I never completed the task back then, as a true back-testing system is
not particularly easy to develop....which you acknowledged. You are rare
in that you are a trader that can also code in C++ (I assume from your
website). I did a bit of complex coding in C 15 years ago, so am
familiar... but then adopted Visual Basic, as it was more "forgiving"
when you had errors, and I could debug faster ( i.e, esp vs "pointer"
and memory-leak problems in "C"). Now there is Visual Studio, in which
you can use one of several languages for coding. I just got a copy...
but am still using VB 6.0 (circa 1998) for the moment, in my
"Trend-Finder" technology. Down the road, I'll pass an explanation of
that on to you for your critique/comments -- I look at it as having some
potential as a tool to help in trade risk management.
I know I am guilty, as we discussed briefly over the phone, of having
some psychological issues with trading/money, but also as important, was
not using any sound money management strategy to protect me back when I
did trade. There is hope, however, as human beings can learn and make
changes (isn't that what TTP is all about?)... and as near as I can
tell, nearly all the trader-interviewees in Schwager's books made some
very costly mistakes early on, some almost devastating, learned from it,
and then finally became very successful traders.
I mentioned over the phone that I, right now, was probably not
interested in trading again.... but the truth is, when I have
discretionary funds to trade again, I would very likely take the
challenge - and definitely utilize a sound money management plan,
systematically. And of course, use a back-tested trading system. But my
focus right now is to get a new (Internet) business up and running
profitably, in the "trading and investing" area, and once again get a
healthy cash flow going. Perhaps we can help each other in various ways
down the road. I really would like to bring a greater awareness to
others about sound money management principles, and provide tools that
make it easier to implement. My own experience has a lot to do with my
motivation to help others.
Deep down I think I have the "right stuff" (with regards to trading). I
truly believe, it is not so much the system for picking entries and
exits that leads to success in trading (where so many focus their
energies), but it is the money management plan. Van Tharp apparently did
a study, which I am sure you are familiar with, basically taking a 5%
return back-tested system, and pushing that up to 26-28% solely using
position sizing methodologies. That provides some real validation for
what you have been doing for years. I have ordered his book that I think
had that study in it. By the way, I also went to Michael Covel's various
websites ... and purchased his book (Trend Following). Haven't received
it yet, but understand you are in it.
I have to credit you, Ed, with educating me on the importance of money
management ( i.e., "bet" or position sizing mainly), as well as a little
about trader psychology, all done informally during our several
get-togethers back in the early 1990's. I'd like to take some of those
lessons to others, via a website or websites, on the Internet... Perhaps
others can learn and benefit from it, and improve their returns while
being comfortable with their "Bliss" factors.
I mentioned in the phone call that down the road, I would like to
resurrect my notes from our past discussion on money management --
mostly in the format of formulas and definitions of terms that I wrote
down after we had talked. I will incorporate what you have added in your
"System Math" document to make sure I am on the right track, along with
information in my prior notes, into a preliminary "article" of sorts. At
that point I'd like to send it to you for your review, comments,
corrections, etc. At this point I'm not sure when I'll get to it, but
surely within the next several months.
Also, I have been studying the "Internet Marketing" field for about 6
months solid now, so I can employ sound business and marketing
techniques in driving traffic to my site(s), and converting traffic to
sales effectively. I have a "mentor" in that area. Once I get more on
top of my game, and get something up and running, I'd like to help you,
if you are willing, in finding ways to "monetize" your traffic, even if
it is simply having links to products and services you endorse, and
share in profits generated by traffic from your site. I have lots of
other ideas as well.
I'm looking forward to some feedback. That is all for now.
Thank you for sharing your process
and for re-connecting after so many (about 35) years.
I recall visiting with Dick Donchian
on many occasions.
My attempts to program and back-test
his "trading rules" show that the rule set conflicts with itself.
His "trading guidelines" are not specific enough to convert to computer
code. His "weekly rule system" is simple and programmable and
generally shows profitable results.
The Safest Way to Double Your Money
is to fold it in half.
(You might be able to do this twice.)
Wed, 4 Oct
Process In Action
Support of your Further Success
"The [City] Trading Tribe met tonight at my place. A good meeting.
Several of the members, including myself, exploring new forms. I tired
various things including: encouraging a repeated role play, accessing
both the familiar feeling / form and the positive feeling / form they
are unwilling to feel and going for the 'don't know' feeling."
I believe I am the the subject of that repeated role play.
I show my snapshot and [Tribe Leader] asks me some questions. I describe
an issue that I have. I tell the tribe I am frantically searching for my
He forcefully pushes me down back into a chair and asks me if that is
the feeling. I tell him that it's more like being tackled.
He asks the 3 other members to block my advance toward the windows.
I have the feeling of being blocked and then the feeling of success in
going past each member.
After a few
times of this, I feel my feelings ignite. I stop the role play and get
into my feelings.
I do a
vigorous form and yell out. While laughing and crying, I feel excited,
and scared all at once. As [Leader] asks me to freeze, I go "over the
top" and the feelings rush out even stronger. (my eyelids are closed but
open for a split second for me to notice members looking at each other
and expressing joy; I notice [Leader] closing the window)
I catch my breath and realize that I am human. Having emotions define my
humanity. I suddenly recall when I was young, my father would scold
everyone in my family saying that we do not even know how to be humans.
(this is my rock)
In the days that follow I feel changed in the way I deal with situations
and other people. I am willing to feel anger when someone tries to cast
blame on me or my family. I feel bravery to tell my older brother that I
do not want to "report" to him. My wife praises me (a rare occurrence)
and I feel suspicious (an entry point).
Unusually, since that meeting, I have many consecutive, vivid dreams
that occur during naps and night-time sleep that I recall upon
awakening. I try to figure out the cognitive message or meaning
associated with them and I log these in my journal and the feelings
associated with them. I learn from TTP that the feeling is the message.
The most recent and most emotional dream I have is I dream of a person
who totally accepts me for who I am. I awaken energized, extremely happy
and motivated to do work and be productive and I feel pushed to do the
right thing. (right livelihood?). I feel such a person would support me
to my right livelihood.
Also a few days after that meeting, I find a rock that fits my pocket
and hand. I anchor my feelings (associated with my dramas) by squeezing
this rock in my right hand and sighing. I recall from NLP that using the
same anchor for different feelings "integrates" the feelings. I plan to
access these feelings on my next hotseat.
My personal assessment is that I am more at peace and more aware of
when I am passing "the rock" to my children.
trimming my daughter's fingernails so that she won't scratch herself is
giving her a rock when she is distressed from my effort to hold her
still. Also, coercing my 14 year old son to do more math problems before
bedtime is passing the rock. Externally, my 14 year old son says I don't
yell at him as much as before.
I am content with the results. Thanks.
Thank you for sharing your process.
In The Rocks Process
We assist the sender to
locate his issues
through role playing.
Wed, 4 Oct
Ed Says: I see my role as encouraging people to
form Tribes (intentional communities) to support personal growth. People
typically project each other into complementary roles that support their
currently active dramas.
Yes. I don't complain. I feel you're doing what has to be done. And
you're doing great. In such a role you are likely to be constantly
challenged to face your own issues and to attract people who, say, have
a hard time forming or joining a family / relationship / community
FAQ contributors are excellent
In The Classroom
typically learns most.
Wed, 4 Oct
In the absence
of any smooth rocks (physical form), I am experimenting with a golf
ball as a temporary physical rock (seriously). I pump in the feelings,
then whack it into the lake at the driving range the following week.
even if it is a rather primitive implementation of your rather more
I follow your FAQ and other writing on Rocks - I already see value in
addressing recurring signature forms.
Keep up the awesome work.
Thank you for sharing your process.
into the lake
Wed, 4 Oct
Being a career electrician my whole working career of 13 years. I
suddenly found myself struggling through 2000-2002 suffering layoff
after layoff as a roving electrician. I was very young and thought that
the economy and the unlimited amount of overtime in the trades were a
way of life. From the time I graduated (1994) I took an abundance of
work for granted, I purchased a rather large truck that I did not need
and enjoyed it for a couple of years. Then I married, moved to [State],
got laid off, my wife simultaneously got laid off too and was pregnant.
Foolish love and foolish young people we were indeed. Naivety in it’s
So with the pain of having this debt and no way to provide for my family
and determined to fight my way out of it I started doing odd jobs for
anyone and I began reading stock market books I thought would be
profitable. My quest was insatiable for a way to ensure we would never
go back to poverty. (I started an electrical contracting business
shortly after 9/11 and barely survived on a whole years worth of the
hardest work I had ever done for a mere 13K for all of 2002).
But I had no choice, it was all I was proficient in, and
I reasoned to my wife that the only way to a reasonable future would be
to start a business making $8 per hour, prorated out over hours worked
for profit+ the time factor of growing into something, i.e a future
whereby eventually our $ per hour would lift with volume of work etc.
versus bussing tables inevitably for the same rate per hour + no future
to grow into any thriving business.
It seemed the most logical choice to follow so I put my
head down and 4 years later when I looked up we had grown the business
enough to where we were making a decent and respectable living.
With a fresh 25K made in real estate this year I started trading the
S&P, Euro and Index Options. Again I had to learn the hard way about
naivety. Draw downs of >90% Gains of 50%, I would win some, give it all
back and then some. I had horrible money management rules and a mixture
of all kinds of strategies from reading a mix of books that were the
wrong kind of combinations for the instruments I was trading.
I had no concept of overlapping natures of markets and it was a series
of overtrading and multiple small losses that I eventually allowed
myself to spew my seed out the window. I was so foolish, no plan or
training in the least. I worked 15 hours a day “reading” the market for
3 months. I am telling you I lost that money honestly! (chuckle) At
least I was not as naïve about risking no more than I could afford to
But let me get to the point. I read about you in market
wizards and I was struck by how you were testing theories off of punch
cards to validate concepts from Donchian. What a revelation! Actually
back test and perform theories in based on history to deduce an outcome?
It only has taken 25K for me to learn a small bit of sound wisdom. Call
it earnest money if you will. Any way I digress:
I Googled your name in hopes of finding more information, to research
and try to orient myself better to the finer arts of this business. I
was grasping if you will, at the only things I reasoned to be valid
amongst the snake oil and holy grails. It logically seemed to me that
your methods and philosophies were far superior to any strategy or
concepts I had thus read about. I thought that through research and
study, it would be possible to follow in the footsteps of one who has
traversed this landscape successfully in the past. To my pleasant
surprise I found the trading tribe website. I selfishly devoured the
coin flip scenario, and the TSP’s and began trying to develop systems
for back testing avowing not to trade again until I have a clearly
defined scope and plan.
But I am ashamed. I must say after reading through years worth of posts
on the FAQ and seeing all of the assistance that you have poured out to
the frail and weak such as I, it greatly touched me. There are no words
that can frame my gratitude for the simply astonishing illumination with
which you have engendered through this site.
I am no pioneer, no great thinker, nor am I any sort of
mathematician. But you have deposited ideas and roadmaps for the less
visionary such as myself to model after. After what started out as a
quest to gain information, to assist my so called dreams I realized that
if you were as concerned with only yourself and your affairs as I have
been lately I never would have found this treasure trove of AHA’s. I
realized that I don’t want to be so self-centered anymore. I am so
touched with how you respond in helping people with your feedback. You
could be doing so many other things with your time other than assisting
the helpless who flail about such as me. But if you hadn’t done this I
would still be light years away from where I am, but worse yet because
of no guidance!
I had only perused the site for 2 days and then when the GoDaddy episode
transpired; I thought that maybe I had missed an opportunity to reason
through the concepts so richly deposited on this site. I was upset
because I had not had enough time to study the deposits that a
professional took time to lay out. I am so joyous that it is back and
that your intent is to keep it this way for however much longer your
grace and website hosts permit.
Thank you sir from the bottom of my humble heart! Your philanthropies
have not gone unnoticed in my camp! Generations of my children will know
the effects of your contributions to our success and I shan’t waste the
powerful knowledge of the concepts you have so graciously shared with us
Through searching for information on how you trade I ran across other
forums online where people where interested in what you are trading now,
what secret methods you are using and wishing they could be privy to all
of the information. But it is readily apparent that you have
inadvertently disclosed to us all exactly the tools we need to follow.
The only thing you have not done is build a system for us.
I would liken it to my Father making me purchase my own vehicle, when I
was a teenager. Yes he could have given it to me, but if he had my value
system would have developed disproportionately to my economic status,
and I probably would never have learned to keep my foot out of the
carburetor if I did not want to be replacing transmissions, tires etc.
etc. My dad put me on the right path and I figured the rest out along
I may not be the brightest bulb in the room, but I can see that from
these concepts you have outlined a man of reasonable intelligence should
be able to define his thoughts enough under the guidance to have an edge
in this endeavor called trading.
Thanks for helping me get to the right path.
Thank you for sharing your process
and for your acknowledgment.
Wed, 4 Oct
Breathwork Follow Up - My Relationship
Report From Significant Other
Ed, thanks again for hosting the breath work weekend. I am touched by
your commitment to support others in their personal growth.
During the breath work weekend I am working on my snapshot “I am
intimate with [Girlfriend]”. She is my girlfriend of 1.5 years.
Before the weekend I feel a lot of times I am not opening up to her
100%, she feels the same way and tells me a lot of times I am not 100%
in the relationship.
When I get back to [City] she picks me up at the airport. We have some
small talk and then out of nowhere she tells me that she feels she
really wants a more intimate relationship and asks me if I am
willing to do so. I feel very clear at this moment and I feel our
The next weeks our relationship shifts dramatically. We share our
true feelings and we commit to acknowledging each other without
judgment, which is really hard to do at the beginning. I am noticing for
the first time how much judgment I have about her feelings and how I
don’t follow the TTP principles of receiving and encouraging with her.
We have several intense fights where some major real
feelings come out. She gets worried that we fight a lot more often, I
feel good about it. I feel for the first time both of us stand up for
ourselves and for the honesty in our relationship. I feel very alive.
Even in the middle of intense fights I feel very close and committed to
our relationship. I feel these fights actually help us grow. The
next several weeks the fights seem to get less frequent and the
relationship starts to find a flow.
From then on I feel our relationship grows on its own. It is like I had
to jump-start the engine and now it just runs. I feel very close to her,
I share all my feelings with her and I am receiving hers and it feels
I feel very fortunate that I have a partner that is so
committed to our emotional growth. Our connection is very deep and I
feel I am 100% into the relationship.
In other areas of my life I notice a few major shifts. I am eating
much healthier. I always workout regularly and feel good about that,
but my eating habits where different. I never seemed to get control over
it and consume a lot of junk food. Now I am surprised how well I eat
and that as well feels liberating.
The other change I notice is that I have a deep curiosity and desire to
learn about things. I feel I am thinking more independently and have
deep desire to discover things.
Thank you so much for your support and commitment Ed, you are the best.
Thank you for sharing your process.
who are both on the growth path
tend to grow together.
Tue, 3 Oct
More on Pedestals
Ed, I feel that in spite of many FAQ readers, tribe members and aspiring
traders actually putting you on a pedestal you're doing a great job
Also, it looks like the Pandora's box is open on sexual, relationship
and other deep issues. In native Americans culture the chief was also a
spiritual leader, wasn't he? May the chief have courage, wisdom, respect
I see my role as encouraging
people to form Tribes (intentional communities) to support personal
People typically project each other
into complementary roles that support their currently active dramas.
Tue, 3 Oct
see Wants Trading
I was referring to the ‘back tests’ FAQ on Mon 2 Oct.
Your response is shallow, obvious, the type of response I might see from
a very junior trader, or just not very helpful in my opinion.
My comment is an observation driven from reading FAQ for several
years, not a feeling I’m suppressing.
I did long for a strong guiding hand at one point, I thought you might
follow through on the statements you said you would, but you didn’t, and
I felt hurt.
Yes, I see many fathers have poor relationships with their sons. It
makes me sad.
I have a great relationship with my son, and I love it.
I’ll be a ‘strong guiding hand’ to others (my son included),
once I feel my feelings about putting people on pedestals, then
feeling let down because they don’t keep their word.
FAQ does not
offer specific trading advice, or
recommend specific trading system parameters. See Ground Rules, above.
You seem to be getting close to an
important issue. You might consider recalling events in which you put
people on pedestals and then perceive
them disappointing you.
If this or another entry
point continues to lead to a signature form, you might consider
employing the Rocks Process.
You might also consider providing a
guiding hand to your son now, rather than in the non-existing future - unless, of course, you are aiming to
Looking for Early Cases
of putting someone on a pedestal.
is one way to begin
The Rocks Process.
In a later part of the process,
you might come to feel remorse
for disappointing others.
Tue, 3 Oct
Wants Trading Advice
I notice you offer advice when a FAQ sender writes about a sexual
experience or a relationship; but when it comes time to trading, not so
Ed Says: FAQ is not particularly effective in ...
You might consider taking your
feelings about not getting trading advice to the hot seat. Perhaps
you have a Rock about longing for a strong guiding hand.
Father and Child
help show each other the way.
Tue, 3 Oct
Feelings Trigger Drama
I think it's hard to know when a feeling only should be felt and when
the feeling should trigger a behavior.
Imagine someone hurts me. My feeling might be pain in my
stomach. My thinking is that the big fool deserves a response that hurts
I have come to believe that the best thing to do is to communicate my
feeling, my aha-wisdom gained from the feeling or just saying something
smart like you use to do in the trading tribe. The problem is that I
need to get rid of the feeling and the smart answer usually gets to me
to late. Do I have to wait until next trading tribe and then bring up my
I consider it important to both communicate that I don't accept the
behavior to the person hurting me and also releasing me from the
feeling. Maybe my feeling will automatically be released if I
communicate that I don't accept the behavior...? I haven't dared to do
that in the past. Usually I just become quiet or once in a while I let
my feelings make me upset and irritated (drama).
When I'm in the tribe I know I can rely on people. In everyday life, I
don't expect to be received and validated. I often find my feelings are
mixed up with thoughts about what people around me do. I might say that
I feel someone is boring, negative, unfriendly - instead of saying what
I physically feel. In some way the feeling - pain in stomach tells the
receiver so little, so I try to explain it but gets away from the
feeling and into thought / judgments.
Many times when I tell my feelings to my wife, I find my words being
unfair. I don't think what I say mirrors the fact, but I still have to
say it. After I've told it - it tends to disappear. I have even
complained on her even if I don't consider it fair - to be able to
release me. As I say it to her - I also admit that it's not the fact but
my feelings. Is the problem that I'm not open to face my feelings? I
don't want to do the DIM process so I try to tell her instead.
When I go into details of feelings like this, it reminds me of trying to
make my trading model perfect. I want a very straight forward direction,
but I think I need guidance of that direction.
A normal healthy individual receives
information from his environment, generates feelings and then sends
information and action back into the environment.
If the individual carries judgments
about some of his feelings, we say he has those feelings in k-nots.
He may then be unable to respond congruently and deal effectively in the
area of these feelings. The Trading Tribe Process (TTP) provides a way
to experience these k-nots, dissolve the judgments and free up the
For example, a man who his a
judgment about showing affection may routinely communicate anger
instead. He takes the Hot Seat, experiences his k-nots and learns
to be more emotionally present with his wife.
If the individual carries a "Rock"
or deep response pattern to certain stressful situations, he may
instinctively and inexorably fall into the "drama in the rock" rather
than respond in more constructive ways.
For example, a man who has a Rock
about "If I think you are going to leave me, I leave you first" may
over-react by shutting down when his wife leaves the house to go
shopping. We are learning to use the Rocks process to identify
Rocks and to relieve the psychic wounds that carry them.
is all about
K-nots and Rocks
Mon, 2 Oct
Fear and Shame
As always, my warmest wishes and deepest appreciation and gratitude for
all that you do, and all that you are. Thanks for the inspiration and
I just wanted to touch base and let you know how things are going.
I still know what to do to get where I want to go and Sometimes I
actually do it. A lot of the time I think about doing it. Most of the
time I'm afraid to do it
I wish I could give in to my life and dreams NOW.
is I'm a coward, and I'm ashamed to admit it.
Thank you for sharing your process.
Shame and Fear
have positive intentions.
Mon, 2 Oct
Hello Chief Ed,
The numerous tests of several trend-following systems that I ran on
futures and stocks indicate that:
- Limiting the total portfolio risk does not improve the bliss function
(CAGR/Max DrDn) or reduce the drawdowns. The results are better when the
only limiting factor is the account equity. In my opinion that means
that the diversification plays the most important role in reducing
drawdowns and canceling out individual positions swings.
- Portfolio selection is of ultimate importance. My view on that :
Trend-following is an exercise in dynamic portfolio selection -
predefining a static portfolio makes a backtest flawed and useless.
Furthermore that suggests looking for pattern recognition or conditions
that have a higher than random probability of "generating" a trend.
I would appreciate your thoughts on those observations.
Be well and thank you for sharing your experience. Your FAQ's are the
number One resource on trading available.
Thank you for sharing your process.
Discovering your system properties
though back-testing - and then discovering your own risk and reward
tolerances - can help you determine if your system fits you.
may help determine
whether or not
your system fits you.
Sun, 1 Oct
Ed Says: The word, Pornography comes from Greek
ðïñíïãñáöéá = pornographia -- literally writing about or drawings of
harlots. One of the properties of pornography is the dehumanization of
women, the reduction of women to their sexual aspect. Your reference to
women as bitches might also tend to dehumanize women. You might consider
taking your feelings about women to the hot seat.
You are More Likely to attract and maintain
a healthy relationship once you deal with your own anger.
Yes, you're right. But I seemingly can't help having to deal with a
f*ing bitch whenever I try to start a relationship.
don't think women are all the same. I know few who are great people, but
I am suspicious of most of them. I mean, they tend to be snobbish,
manipulative and domineering when I make myself vulnerable and
emotionally open for a relationship. I concur with you that having to
subjugate a woman to be able to relate to her isn't a recipe for
Just like the other contributor, I am also looking for new ways of
interacting with more girls so that I can also guide myself through the
feelings that arise of a healthy relationship. In a partner I look for
qualities such as receptiveness, sensitiveness, affection, sincerity and
Whatever I am having a hard time to find such a girl or I am lost
in this respect. I don't like women who see my initiatives, compliments
and emotional openness as a big opportunity to play games ... Well, we
get back into the subject of rocks. Man this rock is hard to forgive and
I may often resort to the "dark side" of the force instead.
Just with respect to your comment regarding pornography I would only
just add that most of the women and girls who take part in
pornography seem to like what they are doing. I mean, most of them
are not being "forced" to do what they do. As the Greek word tells, it's
all about harlots indeed.
Even though I
consider myself to be a "nice" guy I also acknowledge that girls might
often see me as being "aggressive". This further adds up to my belief
that most of them are in fact plain stupid and can't tell the
Your progress (or chronic lack of
progress) is consistent with your proclivity to apply the DIM (Do It
TTP is a process in which people
form Tribes to assist each other identify and resolve k-nots and rocks.
The Healing Field of Acknowledgment that a Tribe can provide is an
essential part of the process.
As our on-going interchanges
indicate, FAQ is not particularly effective in providing on-line therapy
or dispensing advice.
FAQ is more effective in encouraging
people to join and / or form Tribes.
Trying to Figure it Out on Your Own
(even with an advisor)
is just more drama.
Mon, 02 Oct
Some Space Between Me and Anger
I wrote to you last week and now I am writing again since I get the
impression that there is really something going on. I was and I still am
thinking / rethinking many things and was really moved by some of the
pictures, subtitles and comments you put in the FAQ (can't see them
sitting there and staring at a picture for hours. Never did that before.
I am an avid reader and now I get the impression that you don't really
need to read books about say how to educate your kids. Just to absorb
the picture of a family "being in full bloom" seems to be enough.
This is just a raw description of what is going on.
The fear, the envy and God knows what is still there, but I feel more
complete, content and loving now. It seems the animal is the loving part
I was totally astonished when my mother called me, Fred showed anger, I
recognized her good intent behind her words and was able to react polite
It feels like Fred took over some of the empty space so there is not
enough room for the anger to grow to a really huge anger or is it love
which takes the place of the rock? Definitely the anger is not so
huge any longer and there it is much easier to deal with it. This
creates room for better solutions.
It developed something like I "see" Fred know (mainly the "Anger Fred"
not so much the "Fear Fred"). First I saw Fred as Fred Flintstone,
always helpful, always caring, but sometimes just not getting things
right... :-))). That was really funny and I felt very well with this.
Even better imagining me as Wilma Firestone, the female Ego. Wilma
Firestone is not always happy, when Fred goes into action but in the end
he is a nice and caring man and Wilma feels protected by him.
Then I recognized Fred the animal, the ape, the gorilla, the beast.
I already did a workshop about childhood and the therapists were using
the inner child instead of Fred. It was not working with me. I get
the impression this is the case because I carry the opinion that kids
have to behave. Therefore I couldn't integrate Fred, the animal.
Same with a book describing Fred as a prince that you have to welcome
home. Since princes always behave like princes, I didn't get into
contact with Fred, the animal, the beast.
Now the beast finally is "seen" and stops raging. That is so
pleasant. The gorilla is sitting in a corner of his cage and eating a
I was always wondering why I am going really crazy if somebody is
unfair in traffic and just overtakes too close. Now I have the
impression that this feeling comes up on a lower level. I have more time
to take care of my life instead wondering whether I am mad or not. I
have more energy to look into the situation at hand instead using up all
my energy to control the raging beast. I have the opportunity to come up
with a well-rounded reaction instead of being impolite or cutting of
CM is really grateful for the reduced Fredian impact, having extra time
and energy to look into things in a more thoughtful and mature manner
coming up with more adequate answers to situations and people.
Right now I am somehow restless concerning coming week but knowing the
pleasant condition of the last days is stored somewhere.
I am most thankful and curious about the things to come.
Thank you for sharing your process.
Gorillas Who Drive Around in Bananas
may find other drivers
give them lots of space.
Sun, 01 Oct
I enumerate my thoughts on Rocks for your consideration. I hope this
helps to advance the work.
I think Rocks moves TTP from a procedural approach to an object-oriented
(OO) approach. Programmers who understand OOP can quickly follow what I
say next. Those who do not program can chooses to follow along.
In classic TTP, where a person gets to the zero point and gains wisdom,
what is occurring is a form of “early binding”. TTP promotes early
binding. Early binding gives the sender access to a Drama interface. An
interface is a set of properties, events and methods.
After a productive TTP hotseat, the sender gains insight about the
properties, events and methods that describe how his k-notty Drama
works. He discovers his Drama’s interface, that is, the “control panel”
of the Drama.
An interface is a set of properties, events and methods.
*Drama Properties* are characteristics and have a value, like Drama.Name=”My
Anger Drama”. Here “.Name” is the property and “My Anger Drama” is the
property value. Note that some property values are read-only and cannot
*Drama Methods* are repeated actions you typically take when you are in
drama, for example, the GetVeryAngry method is an action you might take
during your Anger drama. Another example is the RepressAnger method or
the YellAt method. Methods can take parameters, for example YellAt(“MyMother”).
Here YellAt is the method and “My Mother” is a parameter (a piece of
data) passed along to the method. Methods perform operations using the
*Drama Events* are notifications that a specific thing is happening now,
for example the GettingAngry event, the IamAngry event, and the
IncreaseAnger event. Dramas always have a set of events. They usually
fire ("occur") in a preset order.
So the interface to the MyAngerDrama in this example is:
“Binding” is necessary to compile wisdom. Binding can be Early, or Late.
The TTP hotseat facilitates but does not guarantee Early binding.
When a TTP practitioner gets a productive hotseat, he gains insight into
his Drama. A big part of this insight is specific knowledge of the
Drama’s interface, that is, the mechanics of how it works. He learns
about the properties, events and methods of the Drama (the Drama’s
interface) at TTP time, on the hotseat, at the zero point. This is Early
“Early” in this case means it is understood and brought to full
consciousness. Thereafter, the person has full knowledge of the Drama,
where is derived from, how it actually works, etc. Understanding about
the drama is consciously realized, and wisdom about it can now be
successfully ‘compiled’. In early binding the person learns at TTP
hotseat time that he can consciously override (“redefine”) the Drama’s
properties, methods and events.
If a person exhibits signature forms or otherwise gets stuck on the TTP
hotseat, it is because Early binding (getting knowledge of the Drama’s
interface) is not possible for some reason. Attempts at compilation (of
wisdom) fail, because the interface to the Drama is not fully known at
TTP hotseat time.
In this case, to compile (wisdom), we must use something called Late
Late binding is when you have the ability to compile wisdom at "run
time", that is, not on the TTP hot seat but later, when you are actually
living your life. Late Binding is the accomplished with the Rocks
process. The rock is a generic, real object that is used to represent
your Role in the Drama and facilitate the discovery of the full Drama
interface with the help of your Tribe, using a process called
“The rocks we carry determine the dramas we
Each rock is at first a typeless object variable. That is, the rock can
symbolize (“point to”) any arbitrary Drama. It does not have a type, or
a name. It has no meaning ( no “type”, no “name”) until it is actually
used in the Rocks process.
“Prior to a Tribe Meeting, a sender selects a rock
that fits easily in his hand and that he may carry around in his
“Then, any time *a particular drama* appears,
like having a fight with his spouse,
the sender reaches into his pocket and squeezes his feelings about the
drama into the rock.”
What we do is associate the feelings of our Drama with the rock. Later
we name the rock with the role we play in the Drama. By definition, the
Role embodies some of the properties, events and methods of the Drama.
If you know the Role, you know about at least some of the interface!
This is the purpose of the rock. The rock is used to bind to at least
some of the Drama’s interface. This is done indirectly through the use
of a Role. A Role is the part a person has in the recurring Drama.
When we name the rock with the Role name, we are one step closer to
binding to (“getting understanding of”) the entire Drama. Naming the
rock is a key step, because it identifies the Type of Drama the rock is
pointing to. Naming the rock is the first and essential step in the Late
There is a one-to-one relationship between a rock and a Role (no pun
intended.). One rock *usually* represents one Drama via the Role. The
Role is a bridge to the larger Drama definition. We label the rock with
the Role. (Tease, Philander, Perfectionist etc). After we name the rock,
it has a Type. That rock points to one type of Drama we have, and
probably, one and only one specific Drama. In the rare case the rock
points to many Dramas of a single type, it is probably a good idea to
create more rocks of that type, and name them. These ideas mesh with the
Patterns concept that is emerging in FAQ discussions about the Rocks
After the rock has been squeezed for awhile, the person carrying it
gains some insight about the Role it represents. This occurs because
attention is being paid to the Role and also attention is being paid to
feelings when in the Role. While attention to the Role helps bring the
Drama into clearer focus, it does not expose the whole Drama interface
(properties, events, methods, mechanical workings, origin, derivation,
“inheritance”) of the Drama. However, the Role does provide an indirect
pointer to the entire Drama interface.
The rock does help the holder of the rock to pay attention to the Role,
and with the Tribe discover some (perhaps all) of the interface of the
With a few parts of the Drama’s interface discovered and understood, the
holder of the rock comes back to the Tribe and describes some of the
Properties, Events and Methods of the Drama, by discussing episodes when
he was in the Role and squeezing the rock. Through an as-yet mostly
undefined process of “Reflection” with the Tribe, the entire interface
to the Drama can be discovered.
Thus the rock becomes a late-binding pointer to the Drama interface,
providing an entry point for successful Reflection, which facilitates
discovery of the entire Drama interface. Reflection is a highly
iterative and at times deeply recursive process.
Overrideable and MustInherit (In C#: Virtual and Abstract)
Once the person has a late-binding object (the rock) pointing to the
Drama, and understands it, he can consciously override the properties,
events and methods of the Drama. More than merely managing the Drama,
the person transforms the situation by the gaining of deep
understanding. The rock and the help of the Tribe, via Reflection
facilitate this result.
Dramas may be inherited. For example a parent may have an Anger drama
and mark it “Must Inherit”. Now any derived children must implement the
Drama. However, the truth of “results = intentions” strongly implies
that all inherited Drama is by definition “virtual”, that is, 100%
overrideable by any derived children.
Gaining access to the properties, events and method of a Drama
Binding after a productive TTP hot seat.
Binding via the Rocks process and Reflection.
Interface discovery via the Rocks process, typically by paying attention
to a Role, and reporting your perceptions to (and collaborating with)
your Tribe. An iterative and potentially recursive empirical process.
A set of properties events and methods that define the mechanics of a
You might consider figuring out your
feeling of wanting to figure it all out.
You Might Become Curious
about the feeling
of being curious
Sun, 1 Oct
My husband has a very strong fantasy about being in bed with two
women. He has asked me to support his exploration. I love him much
and committed to support his feelings and fantasies as he does mine.
failing attempt to act this out proves awkward, embarrassing and and
painful for me. My husband encourages me to report my feelings during
the ménage and I do so. I am so powerfully sad that we call off the
When my husband and I deal with our feelings about it in a tribal
setting, we feel close and grow spiritually. When we try to process our
feelings outside the tribal setting, we get nowhere. We feel frustrated,
angry and victimized. Two people doing the DIM process get the same
result as one.
When two people have an existing
deep commitment, Ménage a Trois, generally works best with an imaginary
With a real third person, one of the
partners may wind up viewing the third person as a threat to the
You and your husband might consider
taking your feelings about this configuration to the hotseat to discover
what issues are driving you to engage this drama.
The Joy of Ménage
may last a few moments
may last a lifetime.
Sun, 1 Oct
Hello Breathwork Support Team,
As of October 1, 2006 AUM are $2.05 million, with $1 million in new
assets coming in this past month. I continue to stick to the system and
September is a positive month for my trading program.
My health and fitness progress has been stuck in neutral for the past
couple of months, and I plan to address blockages to my progress during
my next Tribe meeting.
I intend to report my progress on the first of each month until I reach
$5 million AUM. Thank you for your continuing support.
Thank you for sharing your process.
Your Customer Base
grows to fill
your own expectations.
Sun, 1 Oct
OK, it's still 9/30 (Pacific Time), and I'm now happy to present you the
outline that I have committed to finish for my book. You may not
understand what I have written because it is in Chinese, but I feel
strongly to write it in my mother language, even though I have not had
formal Chinese lessons since sixth grade. It just feels right for me to
express my deepest beliefs in my mother tongue, and I feel that it can
have a bigger impact and wider audience. In any case, whether you can
read it or not, I am including it to show that I do keep my commitment,
and I thank you and also various Breathwork team members for their
The Breathwork weekend is an amazing weekend for me. I missed a
connection flight, couldn't stop the car from beeping, broke my camera,
and created all kinds of drama to feel anger, frustration,
disappointment, self-blame, sadness.
remember how it feels to fully and pouring flat out cry out from the
bottom of my lung "It's all my fault!!!!!!!" with the intense sadness of
loss and holding tight onto the pillow. I remember the excruciating pain
I have with the cramp on my left leg, just as you have described. I
remember how good it is to just cry, and to this day I am still amazed
how crying and laughing are not polar opposites, but more like twin
For me, there are two main lessons from the Breathwork weekend. First is
about finding where my talent lies. I have been thinking, wondering,
pondering what my talent would be. I think deep inside I have an idea, I
just wouldn't admit it. It wasn't until your sharp questions that pushed
me to acknowledge my desire to write a book. Since then, it is JUST DO
IT. I've had enough of those lame excuses of "not knowing what my talent
is and so I don't know what I should do."
Something shifted inside over the weekend and I finally see the futility
in my sitting and wondering and procrastinating - they are not going to
help a bit to find out the truth. The only way to find out is to just
f***ing start writing. Maybe I'm good, maybe not, but at least I find
out. It is like when I was in high school and had a crush on a girl, but
I am always afraid to ask. At some point I just have enough of that and
finally get the courage to express my feelings to her. Good or bad, so
what? I just want to know. And the only way I can find out is just to
ask her straight. JUST DO IT.
Second, it is about service. I thank you wholeheartedly for letting me
read Trader's Window and the Metaformation of Winning. I
finally understand and fully feel, appreciate, and deeply touched by the
inner desire to serve. I see how in serving other people, we find
ourselves. I long for developing my talent and serve other people with
Thank you Ed. Writing the outline is much more difficult and demanding
than I expect, and many times I procrastinate. But I do keep the
commitment to finish it by Sept 30th, and I am proud of that. In fact,
that becomes a motivating force. I also commit to running 3 times a week
of at least 30 minutes. I did that for the month of August, and I've
made it 4 times a week for September. My fun snapshot is to find a place
to continue our local tribe meetings here, and from absolutely no clue
to now I see the light at the end of the tunnel. We had a meeting last
week and we will have one next week too. We are working on a long-term
solution plan and I have received commitments and support from other
members. I feel touched and grateful. It's great to be in a tribe,
provide and receive the support. It's great to be of service to other
people. I wholeheartedly thank you Ed. You are an amazing teacher to me.
Thank you for sharing your process.
TTP Certificate of Completion
TTP Certificate of Incompletion