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March 1 - 14, 2010


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Contributors Say

(Quotes from Ed in Red)

Ed Says

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Family Dynamics - Guilt Tripping

Hi Ed,

One of the Rock Resources I have is to share feelings. But what if others don't want to receive?

It happens with my in-laws. In 2008, my in-laws were not happy after their retirement and wanted to come to the U.S. to stay with us. Since my wife was pregnant at that time, we bought a 2-family house so that my in-laws could stay with us and help take care of my wife and the baby after he was born.

My in-laws love my son dearly and take very good care of him, probably too good. They protect him in every way, and if he ever cries, Grandpa will sure come to rescue.

Since I am involved with TTP, I am well aware of being a rock donor to the child. I see the pattern that my son could be throwing tantrum, or more precisely, using crying and tears to get what he wants. For example, Grandpa may want to put him down for a minute so that he can get dressed, but he won't let to be put down or anyone else to hold him, and he will cry and Grandpa will submit to him. In fact, he does it for Grandpa.


Once he was crying, I just took him out for a walk. Within 2 minutes of not seeing Grandpa, he stopped the crying and
acted normally, probably knowing that his tears are in vain. He was only 16 months old then.

We took him to our home city to see our relatives for the first time. Literally everyone's comments to us was that the baby is too protected, and that Grandpa is holding him too much.


I have been wanting to have a deep conversations with my in-laws for a long time, but I have been avoiding the confrontation, for they are very sensitive to any bit of criticism.


Before they came to the U.S., I wrote a hearty letter to them, explaining my fear of living together since it is a big change for me, but that despite so I am willing to and looking forward to make it home for them here. My wife knows I speak from my heart, but she later heard from my father-in-law that he took it the other way, and thought that was my implicit message of not welcoming him.

Well, this time I have seen enough and the pain of not speaking overwhelms the fear of confrontation. I spend several nights thinking of what I want to say.


I know I have to be very delicate, very careful in the words I use.


I want to show them my appreciation, and let them know that I am happy that they are taking good care of the baby these months. I want to let them know my concern that they may be too protective of the baby, and I think it'd be a lot healthier if we let the baby (actually, now a toddler) more freedom, and give him the opportunity to try and fail instead of helping him at every moment.


I want to share my feelings, how I felt when the baby was crying while I was holding him, and then Grandpa rushed to the rescue and took the baby from me. That was the feeling of failure, as if I missed one shot in a basketball game, and I can't shoot anymore. I can't learn shooting that way.

The conversation went better than my expectation - or so I thought at the time. My father-in-law commented that he was glad that we had the conversation, and that he assured me that he wasn't spoiling the child, and I was just overly worried. I thought that was a good start, as we establish communication.

Then today, almost a month later, my wife told me her dad was very unhappy. She said he didn't feel appreciated, as if everything he did was wrong. At first, I thought he was referring to my mother-in-law, for she tends to belittle him, even in front of us, and many times I feel sorry for him. I even told my wife then that that kind of public belittling is unhealthy to a loving relationship. My wife agrees, but she thinks that it is not appropriate for us to say anything about their relationship. If that's how they operate, well, that's their way. I guess she's right.

My wife was angry at her dad for making everyone unhappy, with the way he is blaming others. I told her to have empathy and think from his perspective, for she is just blaming him now for the problem.


"You know, if you are always belittled, you probably don't feel too good either, so we can't blame him for being upset."


Also, it's good that he is now telling her how he feels, and we want to encourage that. My wife was ready to point out the her dad's flaws to him, but I suggest to her instead to tell him genuinely that his happiness is what's most important to us, and we are sorry to see him upset, and we'd like to know how we can make things better.

So with that, my wife had another conversation with her parents. When my wife came back, she told me that they were actually upset at me!


They said I shouldn't be the one speaking to them about how to raise a baby.


To them, it feels like criticism, and they don't like to take that from me. They feel they work so hard to take care of the baby, but they get criticism instead of appreciation from me. They even make it clear to her - if there's any differing opinion in how to raise a baby, they can hear it from her but not from me.

Coincidentally, I was in the midst of writing a letter even before this fiasco. In it, I express my gratitude for their service, and acknowledge that I have my personal flaws too. I say I appreciate the conversation we had, and reiterate my desire to continue the open communication. I invite them for feedback for any of my short-coming. I also share with them my vision, that I see them at my son's college graduation with us, and I feel so glad that *WE* did it together as a team to raise a boy who is now a fine young man. I list a couple of areas where we have differences in our views on what's appropriate for the baby, and I share with them my view. I make it clear that I understand where they are coming from, and it isn't about right or wrong, but as a matter of preference I'd like to see it handle differently.

Well, since the message they gave my wife is that they don't want to hear from me directly, I can't send them the letter. My wife suggested me not to also. She said she could feel I genuinely appreciate them and want to have an open conversation to work things out together, but she is afraid they'd take my words as criticism instead.


She said they can't handle sharing feelings. They don't do those things. They are very sensitive to criticism, and my letter would backfire.

I share my hurt feelings with my wife. I saw my in-laws as my family, and I muster up the courage to open up myself to them to have the conversation, and I thought I got encouragement from my father-in-law.


But now he is saying I hurt him deeply with my criticism, and that he couldn't sleep well at night. I feel like he is blaming me for all his problems!


Now I feel very hurt. My wife said she understood, but gave me the "what-can-I-do" shrug. I feel sorry for her to be in between us, trying to please both sides. I know it is a difficult situation for her and I don't want to make it even more difficult.

Well, writing it out here is somewhat therapeutic to me. When I began, I don't know what I can do. In fact, my automatic gut response is to give my in-laws the silent protest (despite us having dinner together every night). If they don't like me, fine then, I just won't speak to them. At the same time, I know how childish and unconstructive it is. It doesn't solve the problem but just sweep it under the rug. That's actually how my in-laws told my wife - that after speaking to her they feel better and they can pretend nothing happens.

There is a voice in me that tells me to keep showing them love and appreciation persistently to melt their heart, to make them realize that despite our differences I am indeed appreciative of their service and effort.


I have no doubt about their sincerity in wanting the best for the baby - I just wish they could tone it down a bit so as not to suffocate the boy's natural learning ability. I feel being patience, showing them our love and appreciation is the right thing to do, but at the same time I am also feeling a lot of hesitance and resistance to do so. After all, my feeling's hurt too.

Even though I can't see why and how, I am well aware of the possibility that I might want to feel hurt and so I create this drama and enroll my in-laws and wife as players. I intend to bring this hurt feeling to the hot seat in our next Tribe meeting.

Thank you for sharing your process.


In some forms of relating, people try to control each other by using "guilt trips." One tells the other person "You are hurting my feelings," in order to gain control and make the other person submit.


In other forms of relating, people take responsibility for their own feelings; they report their own feelings and desires and respect those of others.


If you are in a culture of guilt trippers and wish to extricate yourself smoothly from the "game," you can try something like this:

Guilt Tripper:  "You shouldn't say that. You are hurting my feelings."


You: "Thank you for telling me what I should do and thank you for sharing your feelings."

If you wish to gain control, you can use:


Guilt Tripper:  "You shouldn't say that. You are hurting my feelings."


You: "Thank you for making me feel guilty.  I rather like the feeling. Please do that some more."


The Guilt Tripper does not generally wish to share feelings honestly and openly.  He wishes to make you feel guilty about what you "should" or "shouldn't" do and he wishes to put you on eggshells.


Another approach is to simply minimize interactions and find other playmates.


Likely, you have rocks (deep response patterns) that fit nicely within the web of your family dynamics and you might rather enjoy continuing to relate according to the "way it works" within your family structures.


You might consider taking your feelings about <guilt>, <blame> and <doing the right thing> to Tribe.




Some People Learn To Walk on Eggshells

without breaking them





Some People Like Breaking Them



















Friday, March 12, 2010

System Development

Hello Ed,

[Name] and I have been thinking about you and hope everything is going well in your world.

We thought it would be fun to let you know that us guys at [Firm] were thinking about you & were thankful of the couple hours we spent together a few months ago in Incline. In our initial systems development discussions, little nuggets you gave us always seem to come to the forefront. We will always consider you one of our true mentors and plan on crediting you as a mentor to our success.


You spend your whole life building something of this magnitude, that only a few can understand and appreciate, but we know you understand everything we have been working on and the feelings we have gone thru toward embracing it, trusting the systems and taking focused action with them. The deep discussion we had at the table on our feelings and mentality was appreciated, understood and has been applied.

Here are our finding.... We have finally been able to uncover and empirically prove the condition in the currency markets that causes the "Explosion" and continue to explore it to great effect.


This was one of of the initial points in our discussion we were trying to prove out & learn your perspective on. Check out the attached spreadsheet on the back-tested results. Totally Awesome !!


We take a piece of the move a few times a month with a fairly significant contract size; check the PROFIT FACTOR.


Yes, longer time frames are used as you mentioned you use, but we can frame these trades on the smaller time frames for precision....Let us know if you would like to go into it in a little deeper detail on the phenomenon and we would be happy to walk you thru our interpretation of it...


You are one of you only people who may be able to add some significant perspective to our findings.

Thank you for sharing your progress.

Thursday, March 11, 2010


Dear Ed

Thank you (again!) for your wonderful feedback to people who write to you re: FAQ. I have questions about your book, please: Do you still have copies to sell? (I recall reading somewhere that you have sold out).  And lastly, I read you are working on another book – when do you plan to publish that?

The Trading Tribe is in its second printing and is currently available.


I am currently in process with my next book.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010




I notice that I have some, not intense, but enough for me to notice, feelings of shadenfreud surrounding what now seems like a non stop run of news regarding problems with Toyotas. The feelings are with the Co., not the customers.

Thank you for sharing your process.


(Shadenfreud is a feeling of delight associating with someone else's misfortune.)





Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Trading System Project

Hi Ed,

after completing the EMA system, I'm currently working on your S&R system.

Your trade list reports on 75/02/11 the first trade (short).

But from the graph labeled " First few trades" (as well as for mthe metrics list), I don't see the day's low touching or taking out long-term support, a prerequisite for the long-term trend to be down and thus a condition for a short entry.

Why is there still the condition for a short entry present?

Same thing on second short entry on 3/20/75: only short-term support is being touched, but NOT long-term support which is way below the day's low.

Am I missing here something?

I'd like to proceed with the exercise, but just don't know what's going on.

Once the system establishes the long-term trend, it does not need daily re-confirmation of that trend.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Wondering About Trading


I am hungry to become a great trader. It is my passion and love to do it. I am very intense about it and even lose sleep because sometimes I stay up wondering what trades I am going to do the next day. I was wondering you would be able to train me to think and act like you do in the markets?

Thank you for your inquiry.


You might consider attending the upcoming Workshop.



When You Trade Systematically


one of the wonderful things


is that you stop wondering.




Clip: http://www.computus.org/journal/wp-




Monday, March 8, 2010

Sharing Feelings With His Son

I just finished up a fairly intense hotseat with my 11 yr old son. He was complaining of neck and back pain; said he felt like he was being hog piled on; school pressures, classes ,kids, the bus. I encouraged him to feel the pain --he intensified. It worked out. We both feel better.


I feel fulfilled. He's up in the tub right now--feeling what it feels like to float in the ocean.

Thank you for sharing your process.



Fathers And Sons


like other relationships


can becomes more intimate

through sharing feelings.




Clip: http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/




Monday, March 8, 2010

Out of the Army

Dear Mr. Ed Seykota,

This is [Name] from [Country]. It has been a long time since I have been in contact with you because I was serving the [Country] armed forces during the last year.

Unfortunately the military service turned out to be a big setback because it did not allow any free time to research trend-trading systems.

Although I would be delighted to apply and possibly attend your workshop, I have been out of the army recently and did not manage to save money for the fees and apply on time for your upcoming workshop.

I am reading the developments on your web site and I am currently researching a way to define trends.

Thank you for sharing your process.

Sunday, March 7, 2010



I wake up in an excellent mood. As I re-read my posting from March 6 I start laughing about myself: here I go, again asking for sympathy and attention, this time from you and Tribe! I suffer from a severe case of attentionitis. Yesterday I talk to my sister. Instead of telling her about my situation, I ask her about her. She tells me about her worries regarding our mom's health. Much more important stuff than my self-compassionate, indulgent cr...

I take the issue “attention” to the hot seat.

Thank you for sharing your process.



One Way To Get Attention


is to give it to others.


Clip: http://www.usask.ca/law/current_students



Sunday, March 7, 2010

Capital Ideas

Dear All,

I feel I have done a lot of research recently, a lot of sport and I am having great time with my family.

I like to share my joy and happiness with You.

Among other things, I recall having:

*) backtested most of the common trading patterns with little or no (profitable) results

*) backtested a constant portfolio heat approach versus variable

*) backtested a combination of Swing system with Long term trend system

*) consistently done physical activity 2 times per week

*) not find a solution for the following problem.

I am unable to find a time-series of total value of capital goods for USA.

I like the definition in Econowmics by Ed: "Capital is a tool useful in building something and lasting a long time (e.g. 3 years)" or the Von Mises definition.

In any event, it is a formidable task to find such historical data or merge existing series together.

In my opinion, GDP as a measure of a Country economic output is not a useful concept as it is computed without any filter for the destination/use of the good or service or the income earned.

For example, you can see an increase in the GDP value if government decides to build pyramids (so called "G. stimulus").

I am wondering if You have such data or You can point me in the right direction.

Thanks for Your help,

You might think of the units of measure for capital goods as "pliers" or "milling machines" or "factories."


In a capitalistic society, people routinely record and publish such information.


As a society matures into various forms of central control, measurements of capital tend to become more obscure.


In your model building, you might consider including variables you feel are important, even if you cannot locate accurate historical data to support them.




Sunday, March 7, 2010

The Whole Story

Dear Ed,

I am now whole.

I can just be.

You (and others of course) have helped me trust my process, and subsequently the process of life. And we have never even met in this life.

Thank you

See you on the rebound my friend,

Thank you for sharing your process.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Separation, Dating and Contemplation

Dear Ed,

My wife and I decide to separate. She says that she is not open for the kind of relationship that I offer (emotional openness, sharing feelings). She likes not to have to be considerate to me. She does not like the idea of an old couple in which partners are there for each other, taking care of each other. She prefers to be alone.

The issue:
I have a date. We spend more than three hours talking. I imagine being charming, attentive, respectful, nice to the lady. I send her a message with an invitation for a further date. She does not answer. I am angry about her lack of manners. After talking with some friends I feel that I spoiled it. I recall other occasions as I spoiled a date and see that I don't like the feeling.

The principles:
TTP teaches me that the whole problem is the fear and the resistance to fully experience a feeling. One way to fully experience the feeling is to increase the form until it overwhelms our resistance. This results in a resolution of the conflict, insights (ahas), and a state of bliss (zero point). I learn and teach my Tribe that it is also possible to give up resistance voluntarily. To do that, the person on the hot seat (HS) increases the unpleasant feeling. As the form is full florid, the process manager (PM) makes HS realize that he is just afraid of or fighting against the feeling. When he sees it, he can release the resistance and fully experience the feeling. As they do, they enter a prolonged, intense status of bliss: they are at the zero point.


This seems to work only when the PM himself clearly sees, feels, experiences, the resistance of the person on the hot seat.


Then, he can point in the direction to go and lead HS to his goal, namely experiencing the feeling. If PM does not experience himself what HS is feeling, it is like asking HS to shoot at a target that none of both can see.


I recall using this method in the last 3 weeks; the processes are very smooth, and the participants report deep emotional changes. As I learn it, I realize that “letting go the resistance” is just a decision. Hence, to fully experience my feelings is up to me.

First act:
I find the form of “I spoiled it” very fast. It is a pressure in my stomach, a contraction of my abdominal and chest muscles and tension in my left arm and hand. I really dislike the feeling. I increase the form, I observe that the whole stress is just my resistance to experience the feeling. Then, I voluntarily let the resistance down. I can enjoy the feeling; I remember other dates that I spoiled and start laughing: I am the world champion of spoiling dates with women who feel attracted by me! My view of the whole situation changes radically: I am not sad at her for being unpolite, I think “poor girl, if she does not answer my message it should have been a horrible date for her!”. I feel released, stand up and start cleaning my apartment.

Second act:
I still wonder about the origin of my resistance to experience “I spoiled it”. I have a glance of my mother in the kitchen of our old home. I feel something trying to get out of me. I sit down and go for the feeling. I hear her shouting “leave me alone!”. I start crying again: I experience deepest sorrow and sadness. My poor mother! And then I have a cascade of Ahas. I see how I overwhelm people with my needs for attention, how insupportable I am when I start talking about me or things that are interesting to me but not to other people, how I upset people who I really appreciate when I suppose that I am funny, how I avoid intimacy and hurt my loved ones by being ironic.


People stay with me because I have some positive attributes, but they have to tolerate a nagging, childish, penetrating, sticky boy crying for attention. I feel really sorry for all the people that I love and care and whom I annoyed all these years. I feel sorry for the poor, wonderful date girl. I recall the green triangular dysfunctional picture that I discover hanging in my mind the night before the Breathwork Weekend: a sick part of me that I want to get rid of.

By the way that I feel after my Ahas (emotionally drained, vulnerable, defenseless) this was a very effective, very change-generating process. Is this a DIM process? Maybe.


But as Tribe leader I have to work on my own issues.


I feel that by learning more about how we avoid experiencing feelings and how to release resistance I can be a better Tribe leader, a better process manager, a better person.

I am so sorry for all the people in my life…

Did I spoil my marriage? I am not certain. I recall telling my wife many years ago, as I feel hurt, “why do you treat me this way!? I hurts me!” and she answering “well, this is the way I am”.


I recall telling her “we cannot go on this way” and she being unwilling to work on the relationship. Right now, she states clearly that she does not want to be considerate to me, while I sustain that mutual consideration and respect are basic requirements for a relationship. We agree that we basically do not match emotionally.

Three hours after the process I keep on crying in bursts. This path requires a lot of courage.

Thank you for sharing your process.


Your statements:


that the process manager has to experience what Hot Seat experiences


that you have to lead Hot Seat to the goal


that you have to work out your own issues by yourself


might indicate you place a high value on being in control.


Your report that your wife and your dates are not showing much enthusiasm for developing relationships with you might also indicate you value being in control.



Some People Like To Be In Control ...





... And Others Prefer Intimacy












Friday, March 5, 2010

Winning with 20%

I want to thank you for publishing the Trading Tribe FAQ...

I have been working on what I want in my system. I am finding out that I need to UN-learn just as much or more as I need to learn. I hit a spot, then say ..OK..define what is a strong stock for me. Then, quantify how much to risk that suits me. Where to get on, where to get off. On and on.

Then I read the post from 2-23-10 "Publishing a Book and Music" .

I think, some of this post sounds familiar. I delve into my notes and come up with his name.

I had met him years ago in at a seminar in NYC. I look further and find a current website

where he discusses what it took for his 18,000% return. There in the story line was something that jumped out at me..


He said that 1997 was a challenging year and he had his LOWEST success / failure rate at 20%, yet returned about 100%.....

I think, WHAT !!??!!... only 20% winners and still 100% return?!?!?!...

Then, I just start chuckling, then laughing....here's someone that I thought should have had expertise galore..and he only manages a 20% success rate!!! Only 20% !! and still returns 100%....

I still find myself laughing I am grasping the fact that neither he nor anyone else knows which stock will work in the non-existing future anymore than I do.. As I see it...He DOES have the ability to stick to it, He DOES have the ability to cut his losses and he DOES have the ability to add to his winners and "ride that trend to the end" Simple as that.

Again, Thank you for providing this forum. The numerous insights gained have pointed me further down the road to successful trading... ... and life.

Thank you for sharing your process and your insights.

Friday, March 5, 2010

Reports Some Insights

Hello all,

Thank you for being on my support team.

I’m plugging along here and am happy with my progress with my commitment and experiencing my feelings. Several things I’ve notice:

-One medication I reach for is food when I don’t want to feel. In the early part of the month and in late January I notice overeating.

-I make some progress on untying knots about <messing up>, <mistakes>, <wrong>, <perfect>. I notice this work opens up space in me that gets filled with positive thinking. I don’t think the positive thinking is replacing negative thinking, but replacing caution. For me, my knots about being <wrong> etc, is very constricting… “I can’t think positively, what if I’m wrong.” Laugh out loud…it’s kind funny… Anyway, I appreciate this new space in me and the positive thinking, it gives me a lightness and I feel more effective.

-I’m noticing where I feel resistance and then working in that direction. Writing this commitment report here is an example of that, it’s 6:00 a.m. Friday morning, I’ve been slammed all week with work, guests, commitments, etc, have a bunch more work to do, feel behind, etc and want to put this off (it’s two days late as of now). I recall getting motivation to work into resistance from watching a 60 Minutes interview with Leslie Stahl and Arnold Schwarzenegger. She’s questioning him on why he takes on a particular political issue that has lots of resistance. He responds, "Yes, but I mean I like, remember, I come from the sports background where you kind of welcome resistance, you welcome kind of, you know, torture sometimes. And all of those kind of things, you know, because that's the only way you get to be a champion."

-I notice feelings of <greed>. I also notice I have a knot about <greed>, I have some trouble seeing it, and I work on this. I notice at times a feeling and I want to know the positive intention of it before I’m willing to feel it, almost like I’m trying to negotiate with the feeling. It does not seem to work that way. I notice a positive intention of <greed> is I ask myself am I doing the right things on the path that I’m on, i.e. am I following my strategy.

Thank you all for your support.

Thank you for sharing your process and your insights.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Wants Trading System Guidance

Dear Ed,

I recently finished my academic studies and I intend to visit the USA from mid march to mid April.


On my way through California I will also visit Lake Tahoe and I am wondering whether you would like to meet me. Maybe you can clarify my process in designing trading systems. At the moment I fell a little bit stuck and uncreative. Currently I am finishing my work on optimization. I am now able to optimize along as many variables as I want. I also checked for the importance of correlation. The next step for me is to try to diversify by other systems that are uncorrelated to long-term-trend-trading-systems. But at this moment I don't really have further ideas to improve my systems. So if you would like to see me I would be very glad,

I currently reside in Austin Texas.


You might consider attending the upcoming Workshop - during which we cover trading system design and implementation.


If you wish for private consulting, see the terms at the bottom of the ground rules link, above.


Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Wants to Predict Drawdowns

Hi Ed,

My equity chart is now showing a draw down that is 117 days long and 27% off previous peak.

I take inspiration from your answer in Market Wizards to a question regarding your handling of losing streaks, where you reply, 'I just wait it out'.

When using a long term trend following approach how long are the draw downs that a trader should expect to encounter over a multi decade career?

FAQ does not tell people what they "should" do. See the ground rules.


FAQ does not recommend holding expectations about the non-existing future.


In response to your request for information about what expectations you should have is that you might expect to have the draw downs that you get.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Ready to Go


Dear Ed,

Good week. I play around with exit strategies and learn about leverage. My accounts and money transfers are almost finalized, so I plan on being in good shape to start trading next week.



Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Wants to Back Test

Mr. Seykota,


I am interested in finding software that I can form trend following strategies on and backtest. Do you have one that you would recommend? Thank you very much.

FAQ does not recommend commercial products.


I  conduct back-testing on my own proprietary software - and generally have someone run the same tests on another package as a counter check.

Monday, March 1, 2010


Gets the Essentials

Dear Ed,

I received the book ordered a few days ago. Thank you. I received too my card with a $2 bill which I keep with me. I found it really sympathic, with this secret message : this first step I have done could be the good one.

I'm extremely surprised there is no group in [Country], whereas we can find in [Other Countries] ! I'll try to go in [City] to attend my first meeting.

I'll keep you in touch, because I expect to launch in a few month the first [Nationality] Trading Tribe, if I become ready for that of course. Have you ever thought to translate it in other languages ? Maybe it's because [Nationality] people are not very good or interested in other languages that there is no group here.

By the way, thank you very much for sharing your experience and help people around you to find their own way to be happy.

Merci; FAQ, c'est comme un Viola en passant.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Checking In

Dear Tribe;

Thank you for your support.

The account is barely up less than 1%. Almost all my transfer issues are over.

I spent 20+ hours last week mostly reading- the Colby book on Trend Trading, and others.

I am exploring my new brokers' site- which is excellent and gives me an enormous number of information and options.

No travel.
5 Gym/yoga
5 FAQs

Thank you for sharing your process.

Monday, March 1, 2010


Dear Ed,

I experience an AHA: I run my life on the basis of "I Don't Deserve It". I notice most of my decision-making process is based upon this belief. In the cases I override this belief I get an intense, prolonged headache and fever. This includes an interesting side-effect of writing out the same list of important things to do every six months, that I never complete.

I become aware of the other pole of this belief, which is "They Don't Deserve It", which bothers me as it I realize it gets in the way of serving others.

This occurs to me as I read the following notes from the Incline Village Trading Tribe:

Ed says:
"This is what you do,
this is how you run your life
and the way you view the world.
You get what you want."

"There is no problem.
That's just how you do it.
It's a choice. It works for you.
You say you don't like it -
that's part of the set up:
pretending you'd like to change it."

"All feelings are just feelings.
How do you know it's a bad feeling?"


Also, if I am unclear about Right Livelihood, asking myself "Am I serving others?" clarifies tremendously.

Thank you for sharing your process.


I wonder if you consider that you deserve to deserve things.

Back to the future