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Monday, December 20, 2010 Hate Seat Hi Ed, Is "I hate you" a feeling? Thanks. |
In the TTP model "I hate you" is a sentence that you
create in response to some or another emotion. A feeling is a set of physical sensations in response to an emotion. In TTP we examine the connections between emotions and responses, and work toward replacing medicinal responses with pro-active ones. You might consider taking your feelings about <wanting to be in control> to Tribe.
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Monday, December 20, 2010 Austin Tribe Application (The Completions Series) Dear Ed: Thank you for making this available to us. I commit to complete: First I commit to attend and complete all meetings and send a report after each meeting to FAQ. I also commit to attending the Breathwork in April. I would like to reduce my impulsiveness. This affects me most in my trading. I have had a habit of firing before aiming. The cause seems to be a short bursting energy impulse that temporarily disables my ability to remember and think. This happens in other areas of my life as well, but is most measurable and reproducible in a trading environment. I intend to make significant progress on this issue with the assistance of the Austin Tribe and breath work sessions. The end result is that I get into trades and get out of trades impulsively, resulting in missing out on big gains and larger trends. The measurable result of this commitment will be: a) At least 3 trades in 2011 where I make at least 15x of my risk using 3 or more pyramids. b) Take either 1 day or 2 half sessions off a week from trading. Currently it is hard for me to take time off except if I am on vacation in a city far away from my computer systems. |
Thank you for your application. Welcome to the Austin Tribe. | |||
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Monday, December 20, 2010 Circle TT Ranch Ed, That's so cool! Bunkhouse looks in need of repair. As things progress, please post some pictures with sunny skies. What is it that say about some Texans... "he's all hat and no cattle"... well, I see you have some cattle.. Gotcha self a hat?? |
Thank you for your a-moo-sing comments. | |||
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Monday, December 20, 2010 Sharing Feelings with Children Ed, Today I have a long talk with Ed. Initially, we want to discuss some technical issues about TTP. However, I feel very sad about not living with my children. I share with him my feelings of sadness. As he asks me what I do about it, I tell him that I also share my feelings with my children. I mention that I communicate my feelings to my children, for example my feelings of sadness and sorrow, and that I am trying to have a more intimate relationship with them. He asks me „What are you sorry about?“. I mention that I repeatedly hit my daughter some 6 years ago. One day she mentioned „you are hurting me!”. Since them, I never hit her again. Last year she mentioned that she is afraid of me hitting her again. I mentioned that I was really sorry about hitting her and that I will never, ever do it again. Her answer was „so many people break their promises!“ (see FAQ, Thursday, April 30, 2009, Workshop Feedback: Giving up Controlling Others„). In fact, I grew up with the conviction that physical violence is a legitimate method of education. During several hot seats, however, I recall my feelings of humiliation and being raped as my father hits me with his belt. I realize how utterly wrong it is to hit children (what the f… can I achieve by punishing or hitting somebody?). As I realize it, I tell my children that I know it was wrongdoing and apologize. I think that it is appropriated and intimate to show that you regret hurting them. But Ed points at the fact that I am trying to get some fix from my children. I feel bad about hitting them, I apologize, I expect them to say „Dad, it was not bad“ or „I forgive you“ and make my bad feelings go away. But they are children! I realize that I am abusing them. They cannot handle and are not responsible for my own feelings, which are my exclusive business. I recall my father telling me, before hitting me „this is going to hurt me more than you“. He can put his f… self-compassion together with his hitting belt into his a..! Ed mentions “When you feel sorrow or guilty, leave your children at peace, and give me a call: you can unload your garbage by me!”. Ed suggests another, proactive, behavior. As I realize any wrongdoing or that I feel „sorrow“, instead of communicating it to the other person and expect her to comfort me, just saying „I have great news for you: I decided NEVER EVER to yell at /hit/insult you again!“. I try the resource. It makes a lot of sense! In fact, I recall my daughter looking overwhelmed as I tell her how sorry I am. Of course! She is only 10 years old! As I write, I realize how confusing it can be for her when I apologize! She does not know what to do! And forgiveness is like trust: you cannot demand it from someone, you get it or not depending on the way you act. I realize the difference between (1) I feel sorrow -> I feel remorse and (2) I feel sorrow -> I use a proactive response. Then, Ed says „We have been talking for a long while. I still have a lot of things to do“. My automatic answer is „Oh, I am sorry…“ Gotcha. Ed laughs. I thing about it and say „Hey, Ed, I am not sorry at all. Each time I call you I ask you if it is OK and if I don´t interrupt you!“ However, the automatism of guilt is still there. Curiously, this exchange also answers the technical issue that first led to the conversation. Taking a form to the zero point shows me that it is wrong to punish children to force them to act in a certain way. But still I don´t know how to act when I feel „guilt“. This is where the Rock process and the Tribe can yield the new resources. My answer is not automatic, since it is generated at an intellectual and not emotional level. I decide to take the issues „guilt“, „sorrow“, and „remorse“ to the Hot seat. |
Thank you for sharing your process - and for elevating the priority of your children. | |||
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Monday, December 20, 2010 Role-Play and Intimacy Model Hi Ed, From the Workshop feedback, it seems that role-play now includes the Hot Seat as an observer. In addition, we give the focus to the Intimacy Model: stick to sharing feelings. I wonder how you might proceed if let's say the traumatic experience of the Hot Seat involves him witnessing a gun shot in which one of his friend is killed by a lunatic gunman. I suppose in those circumstances it may be wise to just "shut down an hide" if the gunman is just firing shots randomly? So how do we encourage the Hot Seat to share his feelings? (e.g. perhaps he feels scared? perhaps he feels totally panicked? perhaps he feels void (or numbness)? perhaps he feels a little angry?) In any case, in such circumstances, it is unlikely the lunatic has a desire to receive Hot Seat's feelings. I wonder how you would process manage such scenario. Thanks. |
I can recall numerous sessions in which we deal with violence,
death, fear, guilt, grieving, etc. The sender generally provides ample clues about how the Tribe can best support the process. You might consider taking your feelings about <wanting certainty> to Tribe. |
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Monday, December 20, 2010 Wants to Define Feelings Hi Ed, Since the Intimacy Model relies much on sharing feelings, can you please elaborate more on the feelings part? For example, just on top of my head here are a few I can classify: physical sensations (e.g. I feel hot, I feel hungry), emotions (e.g. I feel angry, I feel scared), metaphorical (e.g. I am sick of it, it feels like stabbed in the back), descriptive (e.g. I feel it is going to be a big challenge), or cause-and-effect (e.g. I feel like you are abandoning me). 1. Can you think of more different types? 2. Is there any type (or types) that are more coherent with the Intimacy Model? Is there any type (or types) that aren't? Thanks. |
You might consider taking your feelings about <wanting to define feelings> to Tribe. | |||
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Monday, December 20, 2010 December Update - Bonding with Son - Exercising - Starting a Tribe - Partying - Getting a Round Tuit - Stopping Drinking Ed, This week I review TTP and feel attraction. Magic moment with my 15 year old son when I tell him when I was a kid I knew every possible way to wire up our music systems in the house. Days later he starts rewiring our living room system that has been silent for many months. We work together to find missing connecting cables and wires. We get one channel to produce music but the other is dead. He integrates his iPod into the system and brings all of this great music in with it, but one channel still out. I sense opportunity to do the next right thing and offer to take him to Radio Shack to get a replacement cable. He is not expecting this and is so pleased. We are bonding as father and son. My intention matches my results! We listen to advice at electronics store and get exactly what we need, bring it home and install it. it works perfectly and beautiful music fills our house! My wife is upstairs, hears the music, knows our son might need to be studying, but seeing us bonding, lets it go, let’s us savor the moment…and in doing so…participates, encourages us, a quiet, unspoken but felt Field of Acknowledgement. TTP Workshop in Reno, November 2009, Rocks process working on k-not leftovers from childhood bully incidents…I study and search and try to trade. Though blocked on my own account I can and do trade for others. Family relations get better and take priority over making money. Health improves markedly when I sign on with amazing Personal Trainer and begin to loosen up, breath again, gain flexibility and usable strength. My Commitment to design a trading system gets sidetracked. I read FAQ and see Ed’s Round Tuits. I feel my avoidance to designing trading system. I sense my perfectionist tendency and I know it’s an old wound, an old mindset, implanted in me when I was a child. Not measuring up. Father scolding, huge ancestral shoes I cannot fill…not my shoes! I take advantage of Charles Faulkner’s good advice and air out my mind with exercise. This process takes enormous positive turn when special personal trainer is put in my path who sees body and mind in holistic system, and we send and receive positive re-enforcement back and forth during workouts. I feel gratitude. I break work day up twice a week with this training. The training integrates some exercises similar to hatha yoga, an art I’d learned and lost and now re-discover, re-integrate. I form a trading tribe. Cut and paste ideas for my TT goals, borrow from others, feel numb about that, unsure. Forge ahead anyway. My Tribe gets posted. Nobody calls or writes and I don’t expect them to, yet my intension is to just start, take the first step, and I feel that is to establish a tribe. Last week I open an account with a new client. He trades on his own, options and stocks. He has some sort of system and it appears to work but I see little risk management. He is engaging and one of the first people I think may be a TT candidate for my tribe. I share TTP website with him. I review Causal model and Responsibility in Ed’s book. I absorb and have an AHA when I realize how pervasive Causal model is in my life, in society. All of the blame and punishment and rules come flooding into my CM! I want more intimacy with my wife. The intimacy model I hear others speak of is still foreign to me but I feel hope. As soon as I say hope I am suspicious. What have I said now. Hope…it is distrust that I feel of hope and the feeling seems in the pit of my stomach. I don’t run from it, and I do breath into it. The Responsibility Model allows me to get inside my workouts. I get inside when I listen and feel the work, embrace the stretch, let sweat be a river flowing from Fred to my CM. Positive momentum takes hold of me after several weeks of work. In many ways my trends are improving, in business as it grows, in health as I become more flexible…ponder when I medicate with food…experience choice, family gets closer as I help trim our Christmas tree. More magic moments, unity, love, encouragement from my children and wife. My fears are floating around in my conscious mind. I over think, and Fred probably shrugs. Knowing Fred is there and the under-Fred’s are ever present feels empowering, is empowering. We throw a large Christmas Party with a client/friend. It takes over a month to plan it, prepare the large home, open and clean out two fireplaces closed decades ago, hire and schedule the band, cater the food, add our own special dishes, arrange for the bar and bartender, hire valets, trim Christmas trees and wash and scrub the house, re-arrange a few things, let our children take care of the coats and scarves as guests arrive. We have around 80 guests, and we never do this level of party before. The party is outstanding. So many elves worked on this and it comes off with almost zero hitch! Okay, I find out later that the coat racks we buy collapse but boys are resourceful and remedy this easily moving coats to another room. I’m oblivious and enjoy the party, mix with the many interesting guests. I give great credit to Ed and Charles and tribe members who collectively send waves of encouragement, I receive, and I allow myself not to be perfectly mechanical about setting up the Trend Following system before repairing my health, securing my business, getting closer to my family. This is fantastically empowering. I read The Creature, and share what I learn with others. I get a real stitch when I realize I could have bought more gold, and I have an awful dissociative feeling, a heavy dose of guilt and self-loathing not for missing the trend, but for seeing it unravel before my eyes and not acting on it! Never mind though, the last 12 months have been a period of great personal growth, and my financial assets have not been stagnant. My intentions were to keep sufficient liquidity to run the business, keep the kids in school, replace my old car, keep the furnace running. I achieved these results and more. As I share this with you I feel my fingers, wiggle them, sense center far ahead of pre-workshop in Reno. I feel the closeness of over 4 and one half years of sobriety. There is an intensity that comes with being sober after drinking periodically hard for many years. I let that go and accept good fortune Right Livelihood brings. I see a judge I did not see a year ago. I know what a “round tuit” is. People have been turning to me for help and this rarely happened in the past. I help, but I do not fix. Where once I did not know the difference I do now. I am on a journey seeking and finding personal growth where it is, sharing my experience with others. I am less selfish and care more about my fellow humanity and I think this is a result of improved, more open pathways between my Fred, my CM, and my Fred and other Fred’s. People like my personal trainer light up in a joyful, inspired way when I share TTP concepts like Fred, CM, under Fred. They want to know/receive more, and I send more. I intend to keep doing this sending and receiving. I expect one result will be an extension of personal growth I’ve experienced the past year. I expect to build a system. I feel myself outsourcing programming. Yet I’ll put my rules in English so a programmer can take same rules and translate them into machine language. How exciting that feels to say that! Now to do that, I must order my round tuit, then I’ll have it! I love you guys, Ed and Charles, and wish all TTP the best year ever in your unique quests for personal growth and commitment to excellence. |
Thank you for sharing your process - and for inspiring others. | |||
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Monday, December 20, 2010 Wants to Know Where to Start Hi Ed, I am wanting to learn how to become a professional trend trader! Can you help me?? I have been successfully swing trading for the last 2 years now and am wanting to learn trend trading. can you advise me on where I need to start? Thanks |
Thank you for sharing your process. You might consider starting from where you are - and taking your feelings about trading to Tribe. |
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Sunday, December 19, 2010 Cutting the Terminal Cord Hi Ed, I am happy to announce that tomorrow is my first day of freedom. I will no longer watch price movement during the trading day. In the past few years I notice that the more intensely I watch the markets the more volatile and downward biased my account becomes. I did very well for many years when I wasn't able to watch the markets during the day, now my performance is flat and volatile at best over the last year. I especially gained inspiration for change by re-reading Livermore's story of the man in the California mountains, and realizing that you also do not watch the markets during the day. I already feel relieved, like an addict who suddenly sees the harm their addiction is causing and how blind they had been to it before. Thank you |
Thank you for sharing your process. You might notice the feelings that come up during the initial period of terminal abstention - and take these to Tribe.
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Friday, December 17, 2010 From Zero to $10 million in one Year - Report No.2 Hello Everyone! Please find the Business plan attached. My Intention for this document is to be a simple clear blueprint for processes I plan to accomplish on the way towards my goal. It also includes necessary information about the business and product. The Financial Plan part of the Business plan is not included. I find the work difficult at first. I am impatient as I am unable to formulate my thoughts onto paper. I try to distract myself by watching markets, eating, reading various articles on the web. I am aware of this and make a point not to leave the office until I am done. Particularly difficult is Wednesday. At the end of the day I stick with it and work until I gain more clarity and insight. I spend this week also contacting various CPA's looking for assistance with the process. I hope everybody is well out there. Thank you for your support, Sincerely, |
Thank you for sharing your process. You might consider taking your feelings about <difficult> to Tribe. |
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Friday, December 17, 2010 Final Checkout - Last Austin Tribe Series Dear Ed, I’m getting different results now. It’s like my life is on a tape that is replaying only this time, in this seemingly reoccurring moment of now, the events have different/better outcomes. I’m getting different results…much better results. I complete my project and it is well received. Thank you for allowing me to participate in the Austin Tribe. Thank you for sharing your home and your heart. I am moved beyond words. (Placing my hand on my heart). |
Thank you for sharing your process - from your heart. | |||
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Friday, December 17, 2010 Gold ATM's in Florida My wife send me this link today. How about that! http://www.wesh.com/video/26169404/detail.html?taf=orl I hope all is well with you. Sincerely, |
You might notice that the advertisement before the news on ATM's is for cotton. | |||
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Thursday, December 16, 2010 Austin Tribe Application Hello Ed, I hope this e-mail finds you doing well. This is my application to join the Austin Tribe. I have workshop experience, as you know. I commit to attend all the meetings. I commit to send a report after each meeting to FAQ. Attached please find my essay titled "Something I Commit to Complete". I very much look forward to working with you and the rest of the Austin Tribe. Best, ----- Something I Commit to Complete Trading Tribe Essay Dec. 15, 2010 I commit to complete the initial development of my Investment Management Business by July 1st, 2011. Initial development is bringing the business to the point where I am able to effectively market my investment products and accept new investors. The tasks I intend to complete in achieving this goal include the following: • Pass the Series 3 Exam and register my firm as a CTA and CPO. • Translate my basic trading system from Easy Language to Trading Blox or other language which allows for better back testing and execution on multiple brokers. • Complete comprehensive back testing of my basic trading system. • Solidify my legal and accounting third party relationships. • Set-up brokerage arrangements for new CTA/ CPO. • Set-up a commodities pool or hedge fund and a managed account structure option for my investment program. • Complete all legal documentation required for the above. • Complete set of marketing documents which clearly describe me, my firm and my investment products including documentation of track record. • Clearly define a global risk management policy for the firm. • Create relationships with 3rd party marketers or other marketing partners. There certainly seems to be a lot to do; it’s a good thing I got around tuit! Completion of the above sets a foundation for my professional success and ability to provide for my family from my business. Thus, it’s essential to my goals of being the best trader and money manger I can be and to have a happy and healthy family. It’s a foundation from which I can effectively serve others. Since beginning my work with TTP I identify a number of feelings and issues which seem to knock me off the track of right livelihood in various ways. I plan to experience these feelings, find their positive intentions and get back on track with the help of the Austin Tribe. I also intend to be a good receiver, serving my tribe members while learning about myself. |
Thank you for your application. Welcome to the Austin Tribe. | |||
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Thursday, December 16, 2010 Wants to Connect with Local Tribe Good Morning Mr. Seykota, I e-mailed you 15 days ago inquiring some information concerning the Minneapolis trading tribe. I am interested in joining but the e-mail given on the website for the leader in Minneapolis does not or exist or is inactive. I was wondering if you had the leaders email and if you could give it to me. Thank you, |
I do not publish information about any of the contributors to
FAQ - other than what they post to the Tribe directory. I'm getting a sense it is about time to do some "spring cleaning" on the list. |
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Wednesday, December 15, 2010 Re-Miniscences Dear Mr. Seykota, there is a new edition of LeFevre's "Reminiscences of a Stock Operator" with historical annotations and a foreword and Q and A section with Paul Tudor Jones. A superb read of this classic. I wish you and your family a Merry Christmas and a healthy, happy and prosperous New Year 2011. Kind regards. Sincerely |
Thank you for the notice. | |||
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Wednesday, December 15, 2010 Healing by Receiving Dear Ed, During a lunch a colleague asks me (I am sports doctor and marathon runner) how she can enjoy running, which she finds very boring. I reproduce the dialogue the best I remember it: I: I wonder how you want to carry out an activity that you find very boring. - She: Well, I want to exercise, it is time-saving and very effective, you don´t need special equipment. - I: I see. Well, running is indeed very boring, the repetition of the same movement again and again… - She: Hmm… - I: I don´t see the problem of being bored during a boring activity. - She: I don´t like to feel bored! - A third person: You can listen to music, for example. - A fourth person: Or look for another sport. - I: If you don´t want to experience boredom, it is fine. You can run until you feel bored and then stop running. It has the inconvenient that you have to walk back, but this way you avoid boredom. - She: Hmm… I want to run for a longer time. - I: Yes, running is indeed boring. I can understand that you feel bored after a certain time. It seems to me quite fine and normal. I don´t know how you can make running more interesting. - She: Hmm..I could run together with other people. Two people of the group offer to run with her. The whole conversation takes maybe one minute. She has been struggling with „boredom during running“ for weeks. The bystanders try to fix her, and she rejects the fixes. As I receive her and accept her boredom, she finds herself the best solution, and the bystanders join her to resolve the conflict. I just wanted to share this experience with you and other FAQ readers. Months ago I asked you „how can I help or support you”. I recall your answer “Well, you support me the best by being yourself”. Now I understand. Thanks, Ed. |
Thank you for sharing your process. | |||
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Tuesday, December 14, 2010 Wants to Connect Mr. Seykota, I have attended a few meetings in the past led by [Name]. I am trying to get in touch with[him] but I've had no success. Do you have any contact information for him? He was a student of yours and spoke very highly of you. Thank you, |
I do not publish information about any of the contributors to FAQ - other than what they post to the Tribe directory. | |||
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Tuesday, December 14, 2010 From Zero to $10 million in one Year - Report No.1 Hey guys! I hope all is well with you. At the workshop I commit to a project of raising $10 million AUM by the end of 2011. This is my first report describing my current status and what I plan to do. Status as of December 14, 2010 [Name], LLC is a CTA, CPO and NFA member. I trade a proprietary account about 1.5 million AUM. I offer the Trading program as a CTA with $1 million Investment minimum (0% management fee, 15% incentive) As of November 30, 2010 I have 19.81% CAROR since inception and +20.72 YTD I have NFA approved Disclosure Document I report my trading results to four online CTA databases · www.iasag.com · www.managedfutures.com · www.barclayhedge.com · www.absolutereturns.com In October 2010 [my] program ranks among the highest returning publicly offered CTA’s I have a handful of prospective clients in the $25K – $50K range # Client’s 0 AUM $0.00 ----- I feel I have something to work with, but I do not feel solid. I like the system I have, have some confidence doing this trading stuff. On the other hand, I still lack some important legal documents necessary to establish manager-client relationships. I also feel that for serious clients my business may seem too vulnerable with the company being an army of one. I also see that for a guy with just a couple of years of experience my investment minimum may be a bit high. I intend to tackle these issues and develop a solid Managed Futures business in which people can trust. Tasks on a way towards the project of raising $10 million AUM Join the Austin Tribe – (continuous work on myself). Develop legal documents: Business Plan, Manager-Client Advisory Agreement, Disaster and Recovery plan, etc. (If somebody called me today about managing their money I cannot even do it, so this is a must! I keep putting this aside for some time now.). Enter into relationship with a CPA. Set up a Commodity Pool with $25K investment minimum (0% management fee, 25% incentive fee). Enter into relationship with brokerage house or another Investment entity who would offer my program to clients. I want spend time talking to someone with experience dealing with clients. Promote my business (Local magazines, newspaper, TV). I am currently working on a Business Plan. I will send it out as soon as I get a round tuit. Wait a minute! Never mind. I commit to send the document by Friday, December 17, 2010. Please send me an email if you would like to support me on this to receive further reports. Some of you already confirm your support on this project. (names) Thank you. I appreciate all the questions, suggestions and feedback. Thank you for all the support. Sincerely, |
Thank you for sharing your progress. I am planning to include trading issues in the upcoming Austin Tribe series. | |||
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Tuesday, December 14, 2010 Austin Tribe Application Hi Ed, I would like to be part of "The Completions Series" I have a workshop experience. I commit to attend all meetings. I commit to send report after each meeting to FAQ I commit to complete Professional Investment Product Clients Want. I commit to a project of raising 10 million AUM in 2011 while at the Austin TTP workshop. I would like to complete some necessary steps before I can do that. I manage proprietary account for past 27 months showing profits. I am a registered CTA and CPO and I have some legal documents (Disclosure Document). I feel that before I want to go into manager-client relationship I must stand on solid ground. I would like to in a course of the “The Completions Series”: · Develop all necessary legal documents to support me and clients in our manager-client relationship. (Business Plan, Advisory Agreement, Disaster Plan etc.) · Start a Commodity Pool · Create a business relationship with Brokerage house or other Investment entity who would offer my program to clients. · Have clients (have uptrend in AUM) Sincerely, |
Thank you for your application. Welcome to the Austin Tribe. | |||
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Tuesday, December 14, 2010 Application for Austin Tribe Hello Ed, Here you have my application for the Tribe Meetings in Austin, I commit to attend every meeting and to report my progress. If you accept me I want to buy some of the plane tickets. Thank you. ----- Something I commit to complete During the TTP Workshop in Austin I discover the Intimacy Centric Model, I am happy because now I have a system to work towards Right Livelihood. I also discover I am really stuck in the Control System Model that doesn’t allow me to express my feelings. Another big realization is that intentions are results, so now I can achieve whatever I intend to. I commit to start my own Trading Company by December 2011. I want to create a Long Term Trend Following system. I commit to follow my system, ride my winners, cut my losses, control risk and file the news. I want to find a system that is consistent with my personality. I want to love uncertainty and go with the Trend. I don’t want to understand the markets, there is nothing to understand, and I just follow the trend and control risk. I commit to engage in Intimacy with my family and my friends, I want to share my feelings and stop judging them. I use my feelings as feedback to get to Right Livelihood. I commit to receive other people’s feelings and reject the Control Centric Model. I don’t want to control anybody, just receive without judgment. I commit to accept my feelings, no matter what they are. Accepting my feelings is the right path towards happiness. I want to enjoy life, relax and go with the flow. I want to contribute to society, I feel I am very happy so I want to help others without controlling them. |
Thank you for your application. Welcome to the Austin Tribe. | |||
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Tuesday, December 14, 2010 Wants $500 K to Start Fund HI Ed, I have developed a commodity futures trend following strategy that has performed very well in testing back to 1995. The strategy has generated an annual compound growth rate of 38.6% over a 16+ year period with only 2 down years. It is active in 23 liquid commodity futures markets and follows strict, objective entries, stops, and exits. It also employs active money management by sizing positions based on market volatility. As of 12/13, the strategy has generated a return of 30.5% for 2010. I need about $500k in capital to trade all of the signals (which I don't have), so my question is; what is the best way to start trading this system? I have come up with the following, but I would really appreciate your suggestions and comments. 1. work for a prop trading firm that puts up capital 2. seek investors 3. work for a commodity hedge fund Thank you very much for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you soon. Best regards, |
Your trading system includes your math + your ability to stick
to your system. You might consider checking your historical results for drawdowns to see how these square with your gut. I notice you do not mention your MAR or other metrics for return/risk. 500 K might be a bit on the shy side of enough to support trading that many markets with that kind of returns (and the implicit volatility). |
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Tuesday, December 14, 2010 EcoNowMics Hi Ed, I'm happy to report that my partner ... will be taking over [Firm] starting Jan 1, 2011. This will free me up to fulfill my commitment of creating a clearly defined trading system. I have started working on some basics of the system and have come to realize that for longer term trading I look at charts and use patterns like consolidation breakout and wedges. I'm having a hard time translating what I see on a chart to a clearly defined system. I mention this because I was looking at EcoNowMics and saw "The Nature of Price - Inventory and Coverage, Wedges and Breakouts." I want to know more about this project because working on it might help clear away a roadblock to creating a clearly defined trading system. Thanks, |
You might notice we are likely to cover these topics in the next Austin Tribe series. | |||
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Tuesday, December 14, 2010 Ed, I want to get long Silvio Berlusconi, bunga bunga, and Noemi Laetizia: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1325295/ Silvio-Berlusconi-gave-gems-money-Karima-Keyek.html |
I wonder if you know the exchange at which these trade, the contract specs, gearing, etc. | |||
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Monday, December 13, 2010 Just Breathe: Body Has A Built-In Stress Reliever Ed, This might pertain to your upcoming Breathwork. http://www.npr.org/2010/12/06/131734718/ just-breathe-body-has-a-built-in-stress-reliever |
Thank you for the link. | |||
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Monday, December 13, 2010 2010 Miss TSA Calendar :-} Ed, I know you like to put some occasional "cheesecake" in your columns. I could not resist passing this along.
2010 "Miss TSA" Calendar |
Thank you for the x-ray-ted photo. | |||
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Monday, December 13, 2010 To Commit or Not to Commit Hi Ed, I'm in a relationship with a woman for the last 9 months. I do enjoy spending my time with her, we do share a lot of interests and do a lot of activities together. She tells me she loves me. I do like her very much, but I can't get myself to say the same. I am afraid of hurting her if I say I love her, but then leave. I don't feel this intangible "thing" called attraction, in a way I do expect to feel towards my life partner, that will let me compromise and make sacrifices for her. I do think there is another woman, a better match , waiting for me. On the other hand, I have been single for the last 5 years, since my last girlfriend dumped me. Everyone tells me how great she is and what a great match we make. I'm starting a business together with this woman, and I'm afraid of what the relation and the business will be like if we break up. I'm bit stuck and undecided, afraid to loose out 1) by choosing her and end up with the wrong match 2) but not choosing her, and missing out on a great opportunity I want to accept her for the way she is and not to judge her and see where it takes me. But when can I know this is or isn't it? Nobody is perfect, but maybe I'm setting my "bar" too high? I'm judging her. What can I do and what feelings should I have, if she is the one??Is going with my gut the way? any pointers would be very appreciated all the best |
Thank you for sharing your process. You might consider taking your feelings about <wanting to control your mate> to Tribe.
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Monday, December 13, 2010 Workshop Feedback Dear Ed, I am writing to report on my progress. The workshop was a life changing experience to me. I am very happy for attending and I want to thank you and my fellow tribe members for an amazing weekend. The intimacy centric model has been quite a discovery and I am glad I discovered I was deep into control mode. I feel I can achieve anything I want because intentions = results , I understand that now. This is part of my progress so far: * I talk to my family without "should" them. I just listen to their feelings. * I am willing to listen to my own feelings and don't judge them. * I know happiness is willingness to feel my feelings: I am happy. * I am sure I succeed with my trading company, it is my intention. Intention = results * I want to help others. * I feel loneliness but I don't judge it. I use my felling to improve. I can't wait to start the Tribe meetings in Austin! I send you and my friends a big hug. |
Thank you for sharing your process. | |||
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Monday, December 13, 2010 Workshop Feedback - Connecting with Wife and Son Ed, I thank you and Charles for leading the Workshop on December 3-5. I found the experience to be intense and informative. Your story of the man who left his wife a million dollars struck me as the clearest expression of "everyone gets what they want out of the markets" I've ever heard. Charles' jellybean game brought up a vast array of feelings about trading in a short time. I also learn a great deal about process managing from watching you lead three processes. I commit to applying what I learn in my local Tribe. Feelings about my parents come up, both when watching [Name]'s hot seat on Saturday afternoon and when taking the hot seat during the small group sessions on Saturday night. In my hot seat, I return to a childhood incident when I throw up after dinner and my mom stands disapproving in the bathroom doorway. I realize her defensiveness in that scenario, fearful I might blame her cooking for my sickness. Driving home after the workshop, I call her, ask her what she's feeling, and tell her what I'm feeling. She at first answers "I'm fine," then repeats the question "what am I feeling?" back to me, and finally shares feelings about her health, her older sisters, and some people in the small town where she currently lives. I tell her my feelings. I feel more connected to her than I have in a long time. At the workshop, I commit to engaging in intimacy-centric relating with my wife and son. Since my return home, I feel closer to both of them, and I better see them as they are. They are my allies and I'm theirs; my family is more important than money, or fame. My eyes glisten as I write these words. Thank you again, Ed, for sharing your wisdom with the world. |
Thank you for sharing your process.
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Monday, December 13, 2010 Using the Intimacy-Centric Model Dear Ed, Thanks for the email. It was a pleasure to meet you, I got a lot from the Workshop, intend to assist other workshop participants & incorporate what I've learned into my daily life. Over the weekend I joined my son's class, as a helper, on a sailing trip to our neighboring island, where we camped for 2 nights. I found good results flowed from using the intimacy-centric model, focusing on the now & being aware of intention - thanks! Best regards, |
Thank you for sharing your process.
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Monday, December 13, 2010 Using the New Rocks Process - In a Tribe Meeting Ed, See below a forwarded email from the tribe leader in NYC. I feel very happy when I receive this email. Also, I feel I'm a worthy student of TTP and I want to continue to learn as much as possible. I feel confident I can use TTP to help people and I have the urge to help as many as possible. Best wishes, ----- Hi, Thanks for coming to our group and manage my hot seat. Actually, I wasn't even expecting to be on the hot seat, and you make it happen. I am ever so grateful for it. I feel a giant shift in me. I can see how my clinging (a form of control) of having the Tribe that is causing precisely the issue that I was trying to avoid. After the hot seat, I just lose the need to. I am now willing to risk "losing" for what I truly feel is the better thing to do to set the Tribe free. And it feels liberating. It is like a father clinging to have his son love him, which indulges him and unconsciously tries to make the son dependent on him. But now he can see that the best thing that he can do is to allow the son to go through whatever that he needs to go through - which is unknown, unpredictable and scary - but yet deep down he feels at peace that this is truly the best way for his beloved son to grow. So my gratitude to you is beyond words. I am thankful for your support, and I think your being "new" helps a lot as you are not afraid to push the buttons. If there's anything I can be of service I am glad to do it for you. All the best to you, and you can tell your wife that, "Sorry honey I was really late, but I really did something awesome and make a difference in another person's life." Thanks. ciao, |
Thank you for sharing your process. | |||
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Monday, December 13, 2010 New Rocks Process Hi, As promised, here are my fairly comprehensive notes (notes, not a transcript) of the first Hot Seat using the new Rocks Process at the workshop. At our [City] TT meeting last Thursday, I describe and discuss both this process and the workshop as a whole with the tribe. We are enthusiastic to include it as appropriate in our next series of meetings. I am copying this email to the workshop participants, i.e.. including those who are already familiar with the process, in case anyone likes to correct / add to / clarify any points they feel I miss. Ed - you're obviously on the cc list, although it is not my intention for this to be an FAQ post unless you wish it. Happy Holidays to One & All ! ----- New Rocks Process : TTP Workshop, Austin, December 2010. Hot Seat 1 : Feeling Trapped Ed first qualifies issues amongst those willing to take Hot Seat. He is sometimes very aggressive in his qualifying, pushing the prospective Hot Seat to reveal his intention and show that there is indeed a real issue. He wants to find a Hot Seat with an issue that he can work with, with a subject who is “hot”. This sometimes aggressive qualification is repeated in varying degrees at other stages of both this particular Hot Seat as part of his regular testing for willingness and in other Hot Seats, sometimes pushing Hot Seat very hard to get a response / dig under their protective exterior (example of ... Hot Seat and what his ex-girlfriend might be doing with her new boyfriend right now). At an earlier point when qualifying this Hot Seat (but not during the HS itself), Ed offers to tape the participant up in a blanket so he cannot move to experience “feeling trapped” (declined). • Forms encouraged right from start even while asking what issue is. • Ed challenges Hot Seat (“HS”) “What’s the problem – why not just push it under the table like you always have your whole life & just live with it ?” • Forms are turned right up & after some minutes of great intensity, Ed says “Freeze (physically) the pattern right there and CRANK up the feelings – intensify them as much as you can – and think of a time when you experienced this feeling when you were younger, maybe a young child...” “Do you see where you were as a child when you felt like this” • HS says he sees such a time. • Ed : “Where were you, what’s going on ?” • HS : “I’m in my bed, I don’t want to be in my bed”. • Ed : “How come you’re in bed if you don’t want to be ? Who’s making you stay in bed ?” Encourages HS to maintain form / feelings. • HS : “It’s my Mom, she’s drunk & she’s forcing me to stay in bed. She’s holding my hands & feet.” • Ed : “Who’s holding your feet (note that Ed senses there is someone else there) ? Take a look : you’re fighting for your life.” • HS : ”I think my sister’s holding my feet”. • Ed : “What do you do to deal with this – what do you know to do – what’s the way to survive?” • HS : “Stay passive, then they’ll go away”. • Ed : “Who else in your family does that ? Your Mom, your Dad ?” • Ed : “You understand that the more you resist, the harder they hold you ? How did you get there ? How come they decided to drag you into the bedroom ?” • HS : “They dragged me from the hallway.” • Ed : “Can you feel it now – they hold you down till you give up & lose consciousness?” (NB. HS mentions at start that he has felt trapped on aircraft and even passed out.) “Think of all the times in your life when someone holds you down, so you do the only thing you know & go passive”. • HS : “Yes, lots of times”. • Ed : “Thousands of times.” “Are you done with this, do you want to be free of this ? I can help you get free : do you want to make that deal with me ?” • HS : “ Yes.” • NB. Ed checks repeatedly for willingness throughout process & adds at this point “Please tell me if at any time you change your mind”. Ed checks with tribe that they all agree HS is willing & ready and that they are ready to support HS in process (Ed does not proceed beyond this point without everyone’s agreement). Ed says they are going to role-play HS being dragged from hall to bedroom while he struggles and eventually gives up & goes passive / unconscious. HS chooses who to play roles. Ed asks what might have been said – sister was taunting him. • Role Play 1 : they drag and taunt him till he gives up completely. Ed observes closely & asks HS if the role play is accurate. HS confirms (at this point HS may correct / modify role players as appropriate). HS says what else could he have done (at that time) ? Ed asks tribe if they also are happy with the way role play goes. One member is not so sure, tribe all return to seats and discuss briefly until all happy to proceed. • Ed says to HS that he is going to offer HS a new deal, but he can take the old one back if he still wants it. Ed points out to workshop that in rare emergencies, old behavior may be appropriate (in this Hot Seat, old resource = struggle for a while, then play dead). Tribe suggest new resources : to tell mother & sister what he is feeling and ask them what they are feeling. • Ed suggests tribe member role-plays HS with new resource, but first role play with surrogate HS (Role Play 2) is as per original, so HS can confirm that surrogate’s role play is correct. Before the tribe role-play with new resource (Role Play 3), surrogate asks HS what he was feeling / wanting at the time (“powerless, wanting freedom, angry”). HS says he is feeling very sad right now : he is remembering that quite recently he held his 2 year old son down. Ed emphasizes the importance of this work for our children’s well-being. • Tribe role plays incident with surrogate HS (Role Play 3). • HS is skeptical this will work for him. Ed gathers more information : what does HS feel at that time (“My wrists are burning”) ? Is there a smell of alcohol (“Yes – it makes me want to vomit”). Ed coaches/encourages HS to let his mother know his feelings about this. HS wants to tell his sister “My face is all tight, I just want to curl up in a ball and get away from you; I feel wronged, powerless, disgusted, violated; I want to be out of this family. I’m so tired of it. I’m tired and done with it.” • Ed reinforces the new resources : so that HS can express his feelings automatically / spontaneously AND ask the feelings of the others. • Then final role pay with HS as himself (Role Play 4), using new resources (with lots of support from tribe). • Then check-out with surrogates in role play character (i.e.. whoever played the sister checks out as the sister). • Then HS releases role players “Thank-you for playing my (sister/mother/ me). I release you from that role and welcome you back as a tribe member & my friend”. Then final check out with HS having last word. This new Rocks Process generates high intensity form, freezes it while at high intensity, intensifies further, finds earlier, related experience, possibly but not necessarily from childhood (later... HS involves current situation role play), & this is used to understand and insert new resources, primarily the expression and sharing of feelings. Original TTP goes to zero point (with sufficient willingness of HS) and may bring associated AHA, but leaves nothing to work with (because zero = zero), so the issue may return. Role Play summary : at least 4 Role Plays RP 1 HS as himself; RP2 surrogate HS role-plays “original script”, allowing HS to observe and confirm accurate representation; RP3 surrogate HS using new resources (Process Manager may coach him); RP4 HS using new resources (Process Manager may coach him). |
Thank you for your summary of the Rocks Process. | |||
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Sunday, December 12, 2010 Breakthrough Hot Seat - From Control to Intimacy Hi Ed, I feel there is a major shift in me after my last hot seat and I'd like to share my experience. Three days after the December Workshop, [Name] came to our regular Tribe meeting as a visitor and shared with us what he has learned. Prior to the meeting, the member whose office we've been using as our meeting venue informs me that he is considering quitting. To be honest, I have been feeling discouraged and a little tired. Since mid-2003 when I had my first tribe meeting, I have been to 3 Workshops, 2 Breathwork sessions, and visited the Incline Village tribes on two occasions. I was hoping to duplicate the success to my Tribe, but I don't seem to have the results I am looking for. (Or, more appropriately, the result I am getting is an actual reflection on my intention) We have had some good sessions, the sender seems to go very deep, gets some aha, gets some good results afterwards, but just never a life-changing breakthrough like some FAQ contributors testify. It is like we can get to a 6-month high or a 9-month high but not the kind of multi-year high (or even decade high) trend. I have been noticing some medicinal behavior. People may come to the meeting, get on the hot seat, feel some feelings, feel good, and come back next week doing this all over again. It is as if this is a release outlet for them (in fact, I remember one member used that exact phrase back in an old tribe in 2004). Our tribe is now experienced enough and identify the feeling that the sender is stopping himself. As the sender decides he doesn't have the will to continue, he simply pushes that to the non-existent future (next time). Of course he never gets on the hot seat again, and quits soon afterwards. I can think of at least three examples of this in our Tribe, all following this exact same pattern. It is as if when we refuse to provide the TTP "pill" to them unless they work on the "real" underlying issue, they decide not to show up again. The ones who quit usually don't know their real issue and just quit. The ones remaining also seem to hit a wall too. At least two get to a point where they know it well what their issue is, but they just feel too defeated and tired to really work on it. To them, maybe the real fear is that this TTP thing may actually work, and then they would be forced to deal with the fallout. There would be no more excuse. At least now they can keep blaming some external factors and justify why they can't have what they want. I know this clearly because I am one of them. I change our meetings from weekly to monthly, in the hope that fewer sessions would mean more focus effort. I don't see much change. More people call in absent. While at one point we had a dozen members, now only 4 to 6 show up on any given meeting. And no one seems to come on time. So just when this member who has been with this Tribe since Day One mentions to me he is considering quitting, I only feel a little sadness but maybe more relief. What a convenient excuse for me now if I close down the Tribe. After all, it isn't like I am too motivated either. As [Name] shares his Workshop experience, I feel quite excited for the new development. It sounds like the Rock Process has evolved into where the hot seat observes the role-play first and see the difference of the old model vs. the Intimacy Model, before experiencing it himself first person. It seems that Ed has done a terrific job with the Occam's Razor in simplifying that all the resources really boil down to the Intimacy Model, which is just to share feelings. Once the subject can establish a flow of sharing feelings, there is little to "do" but just let it naturally flow. After finishing hearing [Name]'s experiences, we check-in and I tell the group I feel a sense of urgency and excitement. I have this feeling that if this is going to be my last meeting, I may as well make the most out of it, whether as process manager, receiver, or sender. Still, I don't feel like going on the hot seat. Since [Name] just came back from the Workshop, I ask him to process manage and I receive and observe. PM gets the sender quickly into developing forms, and when the sender seems to be close to a trance state, PM asks the sender to describe his surrounding. He describes a situation when he was 7 years old. It was a huge drama that I've heard the sender casually mentioned in previous sessions, and I knew something really deep there but on none of the many hot seats this sender had had we ever came close to this issue. I know there's something special here. The role-play was good. I can feel the person playing the 7-year-old sender was really into it. The person playing the mother seems a little distant at first, but in the end he also seems to feel it as the mother, and his tone of voice shifts a bit, as if he can finally feel what the child is really experiencing, and finally not just saying it in words but actually comes to feel it a bit himself. In the final role-play, PM does a great job helping the sender and his mother to stay on feelings. I can see how easily it is to go off track and start telling people what they should do, how they should feel, or just simply rationalizing and reasoning. It takes relentless effort to stay on just sharing feelings. It is a great lesson. After this Rock Process, we talk a bit more as I have several questions to [Name] about some of the fine details. Then I decide to share an experience I had over the weekend with my wife, and then conclude the meeting with a checkout. My experience was one where how I use the Intimacy Model to really connect with my wife. In the beginning of our conversation I can sense from her body language that she really doesn't want to talk, but is sitting there just because she feels like she has to (or else it'd really piss me off). That uneasiness and tension and awkwardness aggravates and it wasn't until I finally acknowledge that I feel pressured, and I also feel bad for my wife for putting her in that situation. I open up and talk about how I truly feel about her parents. I even choke up and take me at least a minute before I can tell her my genuine desire to treat her parents as a person (after what I perceive as a cowardly back-stabbing act because they refuse to experience their own k-nots, refuse to listen, and just blame me for their own problems when I have been opening up myself to welcome them into our home), and to treat them with respect. But before I can finish my story, [Name] jumps in and asks me about my feelings. My immediate thought was "Hey, there is no grudging feeling left. I am cool now. It is already resolved. If you'd just let me finish my story..." But I end up just following [Name]'s lead, and I even have this voice at the back of my head, "If this is your last meeting, you may as well make the most out of it...you've always used not having an experienced PM as an excuse, so now that [Name] is here and he just came back from the Workshop and is doing a good job here, what's your excuse not to do it?" So I get into my feelings, and this feeling is strong! [Name] freezes me at the right time, and allows me plenty of time (this is key, in hindsight I feel that in the past we may have rushed it, but [Name] emphasizes that he's learned to really give the trance-state member the time and space) to really locate myself. I came out with an incident in my fourth grade when my teacher catches me right before stealing, and I feel scared. I almost never think about this incident anymore and I am surprised this is what comes up. The role-play was great. I get to observe "myself" and I can totally feel the awkward tongue-tying and trying hard to come up with the excuses. So when PM asks me if I want to try the Intimacy Model myself, I am curious and eagerly jump at the opportunity. I really don't know how the Intimacy Model could help in this case. (I think this "don't know" is key, for in the past, I find myself running through in my head how to apply the "resources" consciously before role-playing it. This time, I really don't know and everything I subsequently do is just a spontaneous flow of real feelings, rather than "scripted") We role-play. My teacher catches me with the notebook in hand that I was about to steal. I thought I would just put back the notebook, but I was genuinely scared that I actually dropped it. My immediate reaction is to think of how to reply to get me out of this mess I am in. I am scared. I am screwed. I am a prefect and my public image will forever be destroyed. (It is like a pristine clean politician get caught of using drugs or hiring prostitutes or evading taxes and he knows he is screwed up big time ... of course at that moment I didn't think of it this way but just sheer panic) PM gently reminds me to stay with the Intimacy Model and just tell how I feel. I feel scared. I say that. I can feel my legs weakening, hands trembling. I allow myself to feel this fear, and I just blurt out crying. Oh, how a familiar feeling!!!!! That is precisely how I feel as a little kid growing up! But eventually, I was mocked enough and scorned enough that I manage to suppress crying. Instead, I've learned to be quick on my feet to think of excuses to deny responsibility. That has been how I learn to deal with the situation. (Now of course I didn't think about all these during role-play. I was just feeling scared and my mind was blank. But in hindsight, I think it is a breakthrough in the Rock Process in that there is no more rock transfer but just stick with the essential part. To be honest, even now, I can't think of who passes me the rock to lie to get out of responsibility. It may be from books, from TV, from a friend, or from relatives. Who knows? If I have to force it on someone to pass me the rock, I think it may derail my process) Instead, as I genuinely cry out of fear, my teacher voice softens. He says in a calm voice, reassuring me, "You are a good boy." Now I *REALLY* cry. I feel very ashamed and embarrassed. I tell him that. I didn't know at the time, but upon reflection (and also an observation from a receiver), my tears in the beginning and that I kept saying "sorry" was really just about "sorry that I am caught", rather than sorry from the heart. But when the teacher says "You are a good boy", I truly feel sorry, and I really mean my sorry. I feel very much ashamed and embarrassed. I totally feel bad for my action and I swear to myself I'd never do that again. I feel that I totally don't deserve the praise, but I decide to work hard to live up to my teacher's expectation. To repay the trust he has in me. (If anyone has read Les Miserables, this is very much like the scene where the Bishop tells Jean Valjean that he is a good person even after Jean is caught stealing ... and I didn't read Les Miserables until I was 15 and haven't read one page of it in the last 15 either) At the end of the role-play, the person playing my teacher and I hugged. I remember this hug. I also had one with Ed at the Workshop. It is a genuine hug in every sense of the word, not a casual "polite" one. I feel I owe this man a lot. I feel that I want to do my best to make the man proud as a way to repay the trust he has in me, just like I had with Ed. That was the end of my session. I am so surprised with the Intimacy Model! I didn't know how it would work before hand, and I still don't know how, but it does. It opens up my eyes to see how it feels like to honestly tell my feelings. On paper, it sounds very scary but somehow it magically leads me to a place of bliss. Everything is so unexpected but somehow it comes out perfectly than what I can ever ask for. Heck, even if I were to design it myself step by step I can't. First, I wasn't even sure whether [Name] will show up until the day of the meeting! Second, we haven't kept in touch for five plus years and out of nowhere he contacted me before the Workshop and that's how we reconnected after all these years. Third, the timing of this meeting is perfect too - right after [Name]'s Workshop. Fourth, I didn't expect a key member informing me about his consideration of quitting, which gives me a sense of urgency. Fifth, I don't even expect to be in the hot seat at all! To me, this personal experience is amazing as it gives me a taste of how it feels like to go with the (unknown and unpredictable) flow. To give up the need to control how the future will unfold, but rather to have that trust to just stick with the Intimacy Model and trust that things eventually turn out better than I can ever ask for. It's like taking a leap of faith and now I am on the other side and I can look back and see that all the justifications and rationalizations that I had - while maybe true, are actually not important. So for the last few days since the hot seat, I become a lot more open and honest in sharing how I feel about things to other members and to my family. I find myself praising my wife a lot more, not because artificially I look for opportunities to praise her more, but it's really just so happen that she does a lot more things that I am genuinely pleased that I can't help but praise her. I even see a couple drop of tears in her eyes as if she is finally feeling genuinely appreciated. And to other tribe members, I just become radically honest and tell them exactly how I feel. My head becomes clear too. I credit my breakthrough on my intention to "make the most out of it if this turns out to be my last tribe meeting", and this is the key missing piece! The sense of urgency allows me to focus on the present. There is no tomorrow. All I have is the meeting I am in, the hot seat that I am in, now. When I went to the Workshop, or Breathwork, or Incline Village Tribe meeting, people just seem to be so much more enthusiastic. I thought the obvious reason is that Ed is a superb process manager and receiver who can really connect to the sender on a deep level. Every time I am at the Workshop I try to study Ed, and to learn his amazing skills. But now I realize there is an equally important piece: the commitment of the participants. When people shell out thousands of dollars, some flying from all over the world, to come to see Ed for three days, no doubt they are committed. This can very likely be the first and last time they'll ever see Ed, so their subconscious already lean towards making the most of out it. (You can tell simply by how many people passionately fight to volunteer for the hot seat during the Workshop) The same for IV Tribe member, whom some of them commit to flying across country on a bi-weekly basis for 10 weeks, not to mention the long drive up the hill to Ed's house every time. What our Tribe seems to lack, aside from Ed's charismatic leadership, is that kind of commitment. That is partly because there is always next week. Always a next meeting. But in IV, there are only 10 sessions, and in the Workshop, there are only 3 days. The member who considered quitting told me, "Sometimes the thought of having a meeting, well, it is like 'Is it going to be a waste of time?'" Well, I once had that thought too, but now I can confidently say, "Whether it is a waste of time totally depends on how you approach the meeting. It is the best time that one can ever spend if he put his intention to the meeting and participate fully; it is also a painfully boring long session if he checks himself out mentally and not engaging in supporting the sender nor bother to share his own feelings. That seems to be Einstein's way to explain Relativity too." I can also see my role in my Tribe's problem. Whereas before I was thinking the problem was "external to me", that it was because others are not committed enough, I can now see I also contribute to it too. In a continuous tribe where some members I have known for years, sometimes there is a sense of complacency. We know each other k-nots. I can see some of his issues but I don't bother speak out, for I know that he doesn't want to dwell on the issue. At best, I nudge it a little, but I never dare to go far for fear of alienating them. I don't want to appear as "pushy". But I swing the pendulum back too far and now it becomes a medicinal invitation. We tolerate each other's issues and so we only work on the issues that "we are willing to work on", while the key important piece we would still avoid. No wonder the result is that we get some progress, but never a real breakthrough! Furthermore, because most of my hands-on memorable experience are from the early stages of TTP (pre-Rock), I never see pushing the sender to climax as problematic. It may be not as efficient as the Rock Process' role play, but it is still better than nothing. Now I see that pushing to the climax can actually be a big problem, especially when 1) it makes the sender 'feel good' and 2) gives him a convenient excuse (too tired) not to work any more on getting proactive resources on the drama. I see only casually mentioning of this on the FAQ, and I wonder if Ed may clarify about the kind of TTP hot seat that only aims to push the sender to the Zero Point. I personally prefer a big warning, "DANGER - if using TTP to get to the Zero Point, as in the case of many of the FAQ reports between 2003-06, may be VERY medicinal." As for my Tribe, I am now ready to adopt Ed's fixed-session model. My understanding of the previous Incline Village Tribe is that people committing to 10 meetings, and then the Tribe disbands. Those who wish to rejoin may do so, although there is an emphasis on having new members too. I was reluctant to adopt this model in the past because it takes me a lot of effort to secure a place and gather enough people to run a tribe, and letting it disband and getting new people just seem unnecessary work. Moreover, I might even lose the Tribe altogether. I was trying to build a dynasty here where I gather a group of committed individuals, and we all work hard and supporting each other to reach new heights of our lives and become legends! But now, after the hot seat, my focus shifts radically. I am no longer attached to the Tribe, and I am willing to risk giving up control and step into the unknown. The fact that the tribe ends after a fixed number of sessions, and then people may not rejoin, wow, the outcome is now unpredictable. The Tribe and hot seats that we've been taking for granted may not be there anymore! This was a scary thought before, but now I am very much OK with it. It is like a father who used to cling on having his son's love, which leads him to indulge the son and unconsciously tries to make the son dependent on him. But now he can see that the best thing that he can do is to allow the son to go through whatever that he needs to go through - which is unknown, unpredictable and scary - but yet deep down he feels at peace that this is truly the best way for his beloved son to grow. I also happen to be studying Chinese history, and reading thousands of years of history with so many different dynasties, the pattern is clear: after a dynasty is established, the officials in power, in an attempt to maintain the status quo, become corrupt. The people suffer greatly, and when they are suppressed by the officials so much and in the face of starving to death, they have no choice but to revolt for survival. At the point the old dynasty deteriorates so much, a new dynasty takes over, and the cycle continues. The fighting to maintain the old status quo only lengthens the painful process of the necessary new blood. So I no longer feel the need to desperately maintain the Tribe's survival. In fact, there is a beauty of death. Like Achilles' quote in the movie Troy, "The Gods envy us. They envy us because we're mortal, because any moment might be our last. Everything is more beautiful because we're doomed." I find it to be very true because my biggest breakthrough is on a night when my intention is to "make the most out of it if this happens to be my last meeting." My plan now is to end the existing (continuous) Tribe. Instead, I am starting a new Tribe where there is a fixed number of sessions (say 5 months) where everyone brings in something they commit to work on for this duration. At the end of it, the Tribe "dies." We evaluate our intention by taking a "mark-to-market" look at the result that we are getting. It is no longer one giant marathon where we just keep running with no end in sight, but rather a series of sprints where the objective is to run as hard as we can while sprinting, take some rest, and then make another run. I find it more consistent with trend-following too: it is seldom a perpetual trend that goes on forever, but more so a violent spurts of run and then a period of rest before another run. I am ready to let the Tribe chooses its own fate, instead of me trying to "maintain" it (which likely is another form of control). Whereas in the continuous tribe there is always "next week" people tend to show up "only if they feel like it", the new Tribe can take on a new rule that it be the last meeting whenever in a meeting there is a collective absence of more than half the group. After all, INTENTION=RESULT, and a result of 50% absentee reflects the intention. We can't get Ed here to be our charismatic leader, but we can do our best to simulate the feeling of "making the most out of it if it is my last meeting" and bring the focus to the present. In addition, every member can feel that they are an important part of the whole, and that their choices might affect everyone else. Your absence is no longer your own thing. We are really all in it together. This is the essence of a Tribe. I think this has changed how I approach my life too. I have a stronger sense of urgency and appreciate every moment I have. There are just so much I would like to do! The thought that "I only have a finite number of years left living" and that what may come is unpredictable and I really feel the urge to appreciate every moment and everything that I have. I really like having this thought so that I can make the most out of every moment that I am living. I have been lamenting the fact that I want to write but I never find the time to, but before I know it, I just spend the last three and a half hours writing non-stop and words just keep coming and coming and I feel very much alive! I was just writing on a plain text pad and now I put it in spell-check it only shows 6 errors out of thousands that just come out spontaneously. Did I mention English is not even my native language? I have so much that I want to share because unbeknownst to me I've taken a leap and there is such an incredible shift and I feel so super excited! I'd love to see others having this opportunity too, and if there is anything I can do to serve them to get this too I'd love to. I hope my experience can inspire others. Thank you very much Ed. ciao, |
Thank you for sharing your process - and your journey from Control to Intimacy. | |||
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Sunday, December 12, 2010 Buying on a Dip Ed, In case you haven't seen it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jllJ-HeErjU |
Thank you for the link. Buying dips for a quick pop can be like picking up nickels in front of a steam-roller.
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Sunday, December 12, 2010 Commitments Ed, I would like to support all the commitments that are announced or unannounced in the end of the workshop. I commit to starting a fund and I want to add some other items...I am thinking through those and will email everyone when that is complete. I wrote down most of the commitments I believe but may have missed some. If you made a commitment or have a commitment to achieve something that was unsaid could you give me your commitment via email? Thank you Ed and Charles for a great workshop! I am curious Ed...what is your formula for determining the amount of jelly beans? What amount of time do you take in your mind to formulate that number? |
Lucky guess. | |||
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Sunday, December 12, 2010 Optimization Hi Ed, I tried to optimizes your approach EMA for some stocks. I did for GOOG for 2005-2009 and then back tested for 2010. It works good. I tried also optimization for 2008-2009 and it works some time is better for different stocks. 1). Is it because different pattern effects? Thanks a lot for teaching, event those I try to take only math part not psychological part from you. May be too “ young “ still K. By the way, the tribe in my city did not accept me, I said then couple bad words about they (actually yours ) “aha” method. 2).Since I am a long, do you know anybody who use your approach and used ABI blocked and know programming, so I can talk/email to him? Marry Christmas, |
You might consider extending your back-testing to more than two stocks, for four years. | |||
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Sunday, December 12, 2010 What Else to Do Dear Ed, I just want to know one thing about u and that is ,if u are a end of day trader than how do u pass ur time during the day, what do u do the whole day? |
At this moment, I'm writing to you. | |||
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Sunday, December 12, 2010 Workshop Feedback - Getting Some (Intimacy) Dear Ed, I want to thank you, Charles & all the other workshop participants for your wonderful support, care and simple presence during last weekend's fantastic workshop in Austin. My two stated issue were * Stop pushing my wife for sex * Not use TTP as medicine I feel very confident that the new Rocks process will take care of the second issue, so as promised during my workshop check-out, I will report on the first ... well, so sorry, guys, my ... modesty prevents me from providing statistics, but suffice to say that since the workshop & without a single push (no pun intended), I have been invited into the bedroom by my beloved wife a statistically significant number of times more than the entire month prior to the workshop !!! From our discussion at the workshop, I understand this issue as not being at all about frequency of sex, but about intimacy and my unwillingness to feel both impatience and neediness. By allowing myself to fully feel these sometimes very excruciating feelings, they somehow transform into "pleasant anticipation regardless of outcome" and don't get in the way of something altogether more honest and - most essentially - something with which my partner can connect. As you rightly observed/intuited, I come from a family that although relatively happy and without the traumas that so many seem to experience in their childhood, is nevertheless not an environment in which we share our feelings. I notice that I still do not find it easy to share & receive feelings, but that a little willingness makes a HUGE difference. If there is one thing that comes through with total clarity at the workshop, it is the unrivalled importance of being willing to share and receive feelings. I send you a big hug and tell you that I have the intention to make a pollinator visit to Austin. shanti, |
Thank you for sharing your process.
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Sunday, December 12, 2010 Hot Seat: Losing Weight with Interruptions Ed, The tribe before last my hot seat is about "Why can't I lose weight?". I try everything, learn all about nutrition, lose the weight and put it back on - three times. Some success - this time I put only half of it back on! We focus on my feelings when I am hungry. I feel cold, weak, small, vulnerable, exposed, under threat, in great danger. When I eat lots this goes away. I am somehow frightened to lose weight. I find a form and with lots of encouragement I intensify it. I reach a certain point but do not to zero point. We analyze - too much it seems to me at the time - and try again. Eventually I reach some intensity and look for the first time I feel this way. I am in my family kitchen during winter. The wood fire is not keeping us warm. We have had breakfast - tomatoes on toast - but I am still cold and hungry. My father is "away" as always. Mum kicks us out of the kitchen and tells us to play outside, where it is cold. I complain I am still hungry and I don't want to be cold. Eventually it reaches a confrontation and my choice is to go outside or experience violence. Advice from Mum is that I am not hungry really and that it is lovely outside and I will enjoy playing. I want to role play this but the others insist on another turn on the hot seat. I had the scene all worked out to role play. I thought I had the issue all worked out [but I was wrong - see later]. I reluctantly agree to go back on the hot seat. This time the whole scene changes. I am a little younger than before. My grandmother, who lived with us, has just died. I am frightened I will die - I know from my parents' reaction to her death that death is a horror beyond words. I am sinking into the evil abyss of darkness and death. I feel the horror of this scene but eventually I seem to run out of steam and cannot quite get to the zero point with it. I feel myself shying away. After Tribe I feel unsettled for a few days. Then a surprising thing happens. When I am hungry I am just hungry. I am sticking to my diet without any of those feelings of danger and weakness. I am losing weight. Meal times can come and go and I realize a couple of hours later I should have a bite - formerly unheard of. Somehow the hot seat was much more successful than it seemed at the time. It seems to have uncovered the deeper issue with eating that is linked to this fear of death. Not what I was expecting. Still I feel that I have some loose ends around the hot seat and the feeling of sliding into the darkness of death. At the latest Tribe after [Name]'s hot seat there is some time left so I volunteer. We have been having some trouble getting to zero point and I think I am not ready but I go ahead. I am starting to get more aggressive with hot seats and taking some risks in the sense of "going with it". This time I talk about it a bit and recall sitting in third grade crying because I am so frightened I am dying. The tribe encourages me. I go with the feeling and fall to the ground as the "darkness of death" envelops me. Then I feel the presence of a wolf dragging me into its lair to be killed. I am terrified and start screaming and crying out. I could not be more terrified and horrified. I allow myself to fully experience this feeling. Then the darkness returns. The blackness has some colors in it and suddenly I am back in the world of light and color, a lovely scene of springtime. It all happened very quickly. I sit back up on my chair. I tell the Tribesmen I am done and we can debrief. I high five them. I feel great. This is a huge win for me. This thing has shadowed me all my life. My takeouts The encouragement of the tribe is vitally important to getting into the feeling and getting to zero point. After doing the tribe work for a while you gain confidence to go with the process and to follow it where it leads. You cannot predict where things will lead. It can be very surprising. There is a lot of wisdom in the tribe that makes it much more powerful than one person on his own. Merry Christmas and a happy new year to you and those you love. The 14 months since your workshop have been amazing, even more so since we got the tribe here up and running. I am working on my snapshot for 2011 and I have put on it a TT Workshop in the USA. I'll be looking out for the next workshop announcement. Regards, |
Thank you for sharing your process. Taking forms to the zero point can spill the energy, in cathartic release. If the sender develops a taste for this sort of thing, he may learn to use the PM and receivers medicinally. In the Rocks process, we arrest the form at its peak and then link the underlying emotion to pro-active responses. |
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Saturday, December 11, 2010 Workshop Feedback: Fear of Flying Hi Ed, I decided to wait about a week before reporting my experience at the workshop. I had a profound experience on the hot seat Friday night and it took some time for things to settle down. In fact I was having residual AHA's up until today. I was very excited and anxious when Ed picked me to do the first hot seat at the workshop. I had a problem with feeling trapped, especially in regards to flying. The night before I flew to Austin I felt anxiety about feeling trapped on the plane and my Fred used the same old resource of shutting down and going unconscious. This is beyond my control and happens automatically for many years before flying. I have been powerless my whole life to stop the process of shutting down before I fly and basically I just cope with it. So I went on the hot seat and cranked up my feeling of trapped. At the climax of the feeling Ed froze it and somehow I realized the feeling was associated with me being forcefully dragged to my bed and held down by my Mother and Sister when I was around 7 years old. The fact that I could visualize a traumatic event when I was 7 years old amazed me. Next Ed had me pick role players from the tribe to play my Mother, my Sister and Myself. The role players then played out the event very close to how it originally happened. After that Ed asked me if that was accurate and I confirmed it was. Next the role players ran the event and the actor playing me used the intimacy model instead of the shut down resources. Seeing this was interesting, but I wasn't convinced I could pull something like that off, because I have lived with the shutdown resource for 30 years and just seeing the intimacy model play out over the course of a couple minutes was not really enough to convince me of the change. Then Ed asked me if I was willing to try the intimacy model. At first I was hesitant, because I just thought it was a waste of time and it wouldn't work. He asked me a few times and I consented with the idea in my head "ah I will just go through this to make Ed happy, but it probably won't work." To my amazement I told my Mom and Sister my feelings and the event travelled a completely different path. When I told them what they were doing hurt me and I felt frustrated and constrained my Mom responded by telling me she was frustrated I wouldn't go to bed. After we built some rapport with the exchange of feelings we were able to work out a deal for me to go to bed under my own power at 8 pm every night. I thought this was an amazing result. I realized every time I feel trapped, which is quite often, I could express my feelings about it instead of repressing my feelings and shutting down. This new resource of expression was a nice alternative to the repression/shut down model. The night after my hot seat I woke up several times with new realizations about myself. Much of the realizations had to do with my childhood and my relationship with my parents. These AHA's lead me to a much better understanding of myself. Saturday during the workshop I felt good and no sense of anxiety or trapped about my flight on Sunday afternoon. On Sunday morning when I woke up to attend the last morning of the workshop I was feeling tense and trapped about my flight that afternoon. I decided to use my check-in to express how I felt(using the intimacy model instead of repress-shut down). This expression of feeling and the support I got from the room seemed to short circuit the repression-shut down system. I could literally feel my body reverse its shut down process. The repress-shut down process has physical symptoms(defecation, cold feet, sweaty palms, heightened focus). This is the moment of "freeze" that happens before fight or flight, except since I'm trapped I can't fight or flight so I just shut down. After my tribe check in Sunday morning the symptoms literally disappeared, I couldn't believe it. I boarded the flight that afternoon feeling relaxed and normal, something I have never done in my life. The plane ride was a bit bumpy but I never felt uncomfortable. I even asked the flight attendant how she was feeling and she said okay without a second thought. I also had a little bit of intimacy model conversation with the person sitting next to me, just to 'exercise' my new resource. Needless to say I was amazed and very happy. I feel extremely grateful to Ed and all his hard word of design and discovery of this amazing technology. The day after my flight I visited my therapist and recounted the amazing weekend. She seemed to be threatened at first, but eventually came around and agreed that if TTP works that quickly and that well it is a very good complement to therapy. I believe my therapist is well connected in the world of psychology so I feel a strong urge for her to understand TTP and to integrate it into the mainstream. She tells me if there is a article in a medical journal of any kind she would like me to tell her because she is very interested in learning more about it. So Ed can you tell me if any articles have been written about TTP in any medical journals? If not I am determined to make that happen because I think so many people could benefit from TTP if it was widely accepted in the psychology community. Sorry for such a long email, but I am very excited and need to tell you about one more situation. I was invited to pollinate at the NYC tribe. I went to the meeting and learned that the tribe member who hosted the meeting was thinking about quitting because he wasn't getting much out of the tribe. The tribe leader graciously allowed me to process manage 2 hot seats that seemed to have very good results. It's possible the tribe will continue because of the good results that came out of using the updated technology that I brought from the workshop. I am very happy to hear that and happy to distribute the information. I feel so happy about the life changing workshop weekend that I feel a strong urge to spread TTP and help others. Along with the 2 commitments I expressed at the workshop I want to add a commitment to spread the TTP process to a wider audience. THANK YOU SO MUCH ED! |
Thank you for sharing your process - and for inspiring others by being willing to work first at the Workshop. | |||
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Saturday, December 11, 2010 Hello to all TT workshop Just a quick hello to all from beautiful [City] we are here for the next two weeks I enjoyed the event, and wish to thank Ed, and Charles and everyone there for a great experience. |
OK. |
