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Wednesday, January 19, 2011 Austin Tribe Series - Dealing With Embarrasment and Shyness Dear Chief Ed, Thank you for your leadership. This is my report on our Jan-17-11 tribe meeting. Through my work with TTP, I identify various forms which arise during dramas in my life. I recall tightness in my face, which I attribute to anger, embarrassment and shyness. During extreme situations, I have pain through my shoulder blades, which I believe is sadness. At some points, these forms are rather intense; clearly, I don’t like these feelings. I spend considerable time trying to figure out “why” I have distaste for these feelings, attributing it to childhood dramas. However, this attempt to rationalize doesn’t seem to yield positive results- I need a new approach. Rather than figuring it out, I decide to just go into the forms and see what happens at Tribe. During the meeting I ask you if I can use my forms as an entry point to work, without being clear on the particular story or issue behind it. You tell me that I may and ask me if I am willing to do so now. I am; I take the hot seat in the middle of the tribe. At this time, my Tribe member begins to discuss an issue and appears very “Hot”. You spend a few minutes working on his issue and then ask him to hold on until later in the meeting, turning the focus back to me on the Hot Seat. I am now feeling more relaxed, but willing to get into my form as best I can. We begin, and after a while the tightness in my face forms, the tribe encourages me and you have me freeze the form. At this point, I recall a public situation where my name is mispronounced, where I feel angry and embarrassed and experience the form in my face at the time. My auto response in this situation is to shut down, and not correct the mispronunciation. You then explain to me that I am not alone here and that I’m in fact a Pioneer for the group. Being a Pioneer is a tough role, you explain, as they often get shot with arrows. This makes me feel comfortable and accepted by the group; I recall being put at ease by your comments and smiling. You then arrange to role play the name mispronunciation situation with my fellow Tribe members. They all do a terrific job in their roles. When it’s my turn to reenact the situation, instead of shutting down, I am able to correct the mispronunciation in a non-combative fashion. We try it again. This time one role player digs into me harder, acting a bit obnoxious in role, and I’m still able to assert myself effectively, after which I feel cool and in control. I feel confident in my ability to assert myself, to follow the positive intention of my anger, rather than shut down. Conflict avoidance seems to be a great way to bring conflicts into one’s life for one to avoid. When I assert myself, the anger seems to disappear as does the conflict, leaving me feeling calm and confident. Going forward, if I begin to express a strong form at tribe, such as the pain in my shoulders, I intend to inform you immediately of this while I’m Hot, leaving it up to you as Chief to decide if we are able to work on it then and now. I find it much easier to go into a form I’m experiencing rather than trying to bring the form about. While checking out of this process, the support expressed by my fellow tribe members is consoling. It’s especially reassuring to hear that many others have the same or similar issues as I do. Later that night, at final check out, I feel uncomfortable and frustrated in that I continue to be stuck in a drama which I believe is preventing me from effectively achieving my commitments and goals. I report this to the Tribe and continue to feel the frustration. |
Thank you for sharing your process. Embarassment is generally a signal you perceive you are out of step with others' expectations of you. One pro-active resource is to align expectations.
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Wednesday, January 19, 2011 FAQ Post - Austin Tribe Series Ed, I develop insights while attending the Austin Tribe meeting. I wonder how realistic many member’s goals are and sense a few of them may evolve. I see growth of awareness in action in many members. I sense sincerity in all members I have contact with. This is a remarkable experience. Part of me feels I am living an evolutionary path, one that Jung describes as the melding of conscious and subconscious. In this sense, I feel the Austin Tribe Series is “history in the making”. I thank you for your incessant dedication to making people’s lives more fulfilling. I hope to contribute my small part, and I hope the sum of the Austin Tribe Series is bigger than the parts. Sincerely, |
Thank you for sharing your process. |
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Tuesday, January 18, 2011 1st Austin Tribe Meeting Report - Bully / Peeing Hi Ed, This is my report for the first Austin tribe meeting. We start the meeting at 5 pm. We notice that one tribe member is late. The tribe member suddenly arrives. He acknowledges his intention to be late. Then each tribe member also acknowledges his intention for him to be late. We do a check in and form groups of two with a sender and a receiver. We start the session with the basic exercises, “Tell me what you are thinking” and “Tell me what you are feeling”. We do a few rounds and then we switch groups. At this point, I feel an urge to pee. I express my urge to use the bathroom. We take a 5 minutes break and I hurry up to the bathroom. After the break, we continue with the “Show me a form” exercise. After a few rounds, I feel again the urge to pee. I share this feeling with the tribe. The tribe leader asks me if I usually go the bathroom a lot. I say that I usually go a lot especially if I drink lots of water. We finish the exercise. I feel some relief, although I still feel the urge to pee. Next, we start to work on issues. A tribe member takes the hot seat. Before we start the process, I ask the Process Manager (PM) if I can quickly go to the bathroom. At this point, PM asks me what I feel. I say that I feel the urge to pee. He asks me where I feel it. I point my genital area and say “This is where I feel it”. PM then asks me what I feel. I say that I feel pressure like if something wants to come out. He asks me to describe what I am feeling. I have a hard time answering this. I feel something warm. At this point, PM asks me to recall an incident. I recall when I am in high school and my classmates pick on me and tease me with my nickname. PM asks me if I like it when they do this to me and what I do about it. I say that I do not like it and that I just smile pretending I like it. He also asks me about my nickname. I just laugh. I feel embarrassment. I do not say my nickname. PM then says that we can work on my issue later, and that we now have another hot seat waiting. Meanwhile, I can try to enjoy my feeling (urge to pee). PM wonders what I have in common with the first hot seat. We return to the first hot seat. Hot seat quickly develops some forms. The tribe encourages hot seat to get into his forms (like rubbing hands over his lap). PM asks hot seat to freeze the forms and to recall an incident. Hot seat recalls an incident when he is at a charity dinner and a person mispronounces his name. We do a quick check in before we role play. I recall experiencing the rubbing hands over the lap form on previous hot seats (signature form). For the first role play, another tribe member takes the hot seat place. Original hot seat just observes. Tribe members take roles as dinner guests chatting about charity issues. Then one guest sarcastically mispronounces hot seat´s name. Hot seat does not like when people mispronounce his name and he just shuts down. Now hot seat takes his original position. We role play two more times. Now hot seat receives the person mispronouncing his name. He also tells the person how to pronounce his name correctly. Hot seat makes progress from one role play to the other. In the last role play, I am one of the dinner guests who sarcastically mispronounce hot seat´s name. Hot seat looks to me straight into the eyes, and tells me how to pronounce his name correctly. I just feel like I do not want to continue mispronouncing his name. Hot seat closes the process discharging all role players and welcoming them back as tribe members and friends. At this point, we take a break for dinner. PM asks me if I still feel the urge to pee. I say that yes. I also notice that while I participate on the previous process I forget about my urge to pee. After dinner, PM suggests the tribe that we can work on bully issues. PM does not ask me directly if I want to work on my issue. He asks if anybody has an issue to work. I raise my hand and say that I have an issue. PM says that I do not want to say my nickname and that he is not sure if I am really willing to work. I provide more details about my nickname and how my high school classmates pick on me. I describe an event when all my classmates start to chant my nickname at the same time. Even many years after graduation, when we have a high school reunion, my classmates continue to pick on me with the chants. I describe also how one guy, the bully, usually leads the chants. I go over more events in my life where people pick on me. I describe how in college a physics professor frequently picks on me. I am attracting people to pick on me. I tell people with my body language (e.g. smile) that it is ok to pick on me. I even encourage people to continue doing it, as I keep smiling while they are picking on me. I am playing to be the victim. This is a pattern in my life. I also notice that I get full attention. PM then surveys the tribe to measure my willingness. I get only a partial pass. I think about how I can get a full pass from the tribe. At this point, PM asks me to look at him directly into the eyes. Initially I look away. Then, I am able to look at him into the eyes for some seconds. PM helps me to identify my feelings when people pick on me. I feel my legs shaking and a pain in my stomach. PM then suggests that when dealing with bullies, I might consider expressing my feelings and asking the bully for his feelings. We role play the event when I am with all my classmates in a big conference room waiting for a professor to arrive. Then the bully leads my classmates to start chanting my nickname. Tribe members role play my classmates and start to chant my nickname. I feel embarrassment and anger. My first reaction is to get up from my chair and approach the bully. I ask the bully to stop the chanting and to call me by me real name. I feel that I am using an aggressive approach to deal with the bully. Something like “If you do not stop the chanting I am willing to fight with you”. The bully stops the chanting and sits down. The tribe helps me notice that I am using the control model to confront the bully. I am basically stopping any connection with the bully. PM suggests again that I might consider expressing my feelings and asking the bully for his feelings. We do a second role play. This time I get up and verbally express my feelings to the bully. However, I use body language to stop any connection with the bully. PM suggests that I might try to connect with the bully and get rapport. I try again to express verbally my feelings but I continue to stop any real connection with my body language. The tribe helps again to notice this. I make an effort to keep my hands close to my body to better receive the bully. We do a third role play. This time I feel more comfortable expressing my feelings and asking the bully for his feelings. Although, I still get some reminders from the tribe about my body language, I am able to make eye contact with the bully. I also start to receive him. I express again how I feel and I ask the bully what makes him do this to me. Bully tells me that he thinks I like this. I receive him. I tell the bully that I do not like what he is doing and that he is hurting me. Bully seats down and I return to my seat. Finally I close the process discharging all role players and welcoming them back as tribe members and friends. During this part, I practice my rapport skills to connect with each tribe member. I want to thank the tribe for helping me compare (real-time) the control-centric model vs. the intimacy-centric model. Since the last meeting, I notice I am seeing human contact as an opportunity to connect with people. I feel I can connect with people. Now, I can choose between the control and the intimacy model. I prefer the latter. We finish the meeting sharing our goals for the 10 week series. We also discuss the proof we need to bring to show completion. Doing this exercise, a tribe member helps notice how I limit myself. I now plan to re-submit before next meeting my new goal, snapshot (digital picture) and proof of completion. Thanks tribe for the help and support. |
Thank you for sharing your process.
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Tuesday, January 18, 2011 Austin Tribe Meeting Report Stops Teasing Children and the Markets Dear Ed: I am very thankful to be part of the Austin Tribe. During our first tribe meeting, I came to realize that by calling my 3 year old grand-daughter names and teasing her, I might have hurt her feelings. I am going to apologize to her via email and have her mother read it to her. I have drafted the apology and once my wife reviews it - I will send this to her. In addition, I will be careful to limit teasing my grand children. I was unaware of the potential damage this can cause. Since I took the workshop late last year, I have been able to increase intimacy with family members especially my step children. My wife is very happy with this. I feel more at peace and have less conflict with family members. I continue to wrestle with impulse control issues that result in me being overly aggressive and overtrading. The first thing I have done is to increase my timeframes and stop looking at 5 minute charts. This is resulting in a calmer trading experience. I also am working on doing more research and analysis and less trading. My goal is to make significant progress in these issues over the next 3 tribe meetings. I look forward to the next meeting. |
Thank you for sharing your process. | |||
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Tuesday, January 18, 2011 Austin Tribe Report - Reactions to Bullies A fellow tribe member works on a process that involves others mispronouncing his name. He feels intense embarrassment and has a physical response where he withdraws and shuts down. He feels embarrassment, anger then shuts down emotionally. He recalls a dinner party in which a friend of his mother mispronounces his name in conversation. I feel this is odd if it is a very close friend of his mother that certainly he would know the correct pronunciation of her son’s name. I have an underlying feeling that perhaps the slip is intentional and relates to some agenda from the friend of his mother. The tribe supports the tribe member in getting into the form and also to create additional resources. A re-creation of the dinner party involves several calling him the wrong name and allowing him to express his feelings and ask them to express their feelings. I notice feelings myself as I watch the drama unfolding of times such as this when my name is mispronounced or I am called the wrong name. I notice the tendency to just let it go by and not address the issue…to shut down in some way. I feel myself disappear a little as a person when I do not express my feelings and speak up. I notice this same feeling relates to other areas of my life regarding ownership of who I am, protecting my property and valuing myself. In the second hot seat a tribe member feels intense embarrassment when he is called a nickname that others at school have labeled him with. There is a dominant “bully” type of person that gives him this label and instigates others to call him the nickname. The process manager asks everyone to give a pass or no pass regarding the tribe members sincerity in moving forward with the process. The tribe member continues to explain his willingness to go through the process and demonstrates several forms. He also has a quirky smile when he describes all of classmates chanting his nickname. The process manager elaborates on the special form displayed…the s--t eating grin…he is subconsciously saying that he really secretly likes some of the attention so in some sense he encourages his classmates to chant and abuse him. He describes the embarrassment he feels at his high school reunion when classmates start chanting his nickname and his response is feeling very weak in his midsection and his legs are shaky and all he can do is smile politely. The tribe recreates the drama of his classmates chanting his nickname and I participate as one of the chanters. As everyone begins to chant another tribe member across the room raises his hands and vigorously chants…he also fits the description of the bully described as the one who gave the tribe member the nickname. I notice as I chant that it is easier to simply follow the crowd even though I know the nickname is hurtful. I understand how a mob has a mind of its own…either for good/bad. The tribe member confronts the “bully” who is chanting and shares his feelings and then asks the bully to share his feelings. The tribe notices he is sharing his feelings with a defiant/attacking demeanor that is hindering the sharing/receiving between himself and the bully. The drama is recreated several times each with higher intensity and abuse from the bully. The tribe member assimilates the resources and shares his feelings even in the face of attack…he is also able to receive the feelings from the bully with a noticeable change in the dynamics of the relationship. Several ideas are discussed and ideas/feelings come to my own mind regarding circumstances in my own life. What or who am I running from? Am I attracting someone or something to abuse me? Am I playing repeatedly the role of the victim in areas of my life? I recall being in similar but more abusive circumstances when I am a child. Older neighborhood boys gave me a nickname and got others to join in calling me this name. Even now I have the same feelings if I think of this name. I feel hurt, angry, sad…I feel like running away or getting revenge. The older boys are much bigger and stronger than I am but I feel so violated that I want to lash out and hurt them also…I am 3-5 maybe and they are 8-9. When I think back at those feelings I notice I admired them a lot…they were the big kids on the block. I did not know how to act around them being so young and I am sure I was a bother to them. In retrospect they are not someone to admire or emulate…they are just bullies. During the meeting I notice other feelings…I notice I hesitate when I want to get involved. I feel embarrassed or this general feeling of being uncomfortable talking in front of people. The feeling is somewhat like the fear of heights…shallow breath/either cold or sweaty palms. After I return home after the meeting I come home and discuss some of my feelings regarding name calling and other items that were discussed at tribe. I ask her feelings about name calling and bullying. She begins telling me her feelings and experiences with name calling when she is a child and many instances of abuse from her childhood. I just receive her feelings and listen mostly. She talks till around 4am…expresses a lot of feelings about her life and experiences from childhood. I plan to come and have breakfast and see the farm but basically no sleep is not a good idea for me. Over the days after the tribe meeting I continue to notice feelings that come up regarding bullying and abuse in my life…particularly from my father. |
Thank you for sharing your process. | |||
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Tuesday, January 18, 2011 Austin Tribe Report - Stops Shoulding on People Hello Ed, The first thing that I noticed was my sense of happiness for being surrounded by like minded people. After many conversations I realize we all have similar issues and it is comforting to see there is somebody else supporting me. One of the things I like most about TT is that I really feel that I can be myself. I wonder if it is possible to have this sort of feeling on my everyday life, I want to engage my love ones in this sort of atmosphere. Before the session, I give "advice" to [Name] using the phrase "you should". I notice immediately how it feels wrong. I have been avoiding that world since the Austin workshop and I really feel good. During the [Name 2] hot seat, I notice how I feel really sad about people being bullied. My feelings about this sort of things are so strong that it is impossible for me to participate in role playing, I think I have a natural reaction against bullies. The whole process makes me think about how we project our insecurities and knots on others to help them act their and our dramas. The realization that it is possible to engage in intimacy with an abuser / bully is a great discovery. TTP is a great resource for solving problems. I also notice how senseless is the causal model to solve some of our mental problems. During [Name 3's] hot seat, I kept thinking that the "reasons" behind his problem were pretty silly. I notice how trying to use logical arguments when our feelings are involved is almost pointless, feelings are feelings, they may not make sense, that is why we can observe them, accept them and use them as feedback. I realize this is very useful for trading too. I like to redefine my goals in measurable terms, it helps me to be accountable. I wonder if people prefer immeasurable goals so they can avoid responsibility for not achieving them. I like the idea of having people supporting me and making me accountable for my goals. Lastly, I feel a slight frustration for not working on specific Trading issues, like system building, risk control, etc. I notice that everything we work on help us with our trading directly or indirectly but it would be nice to work on trading more specifically. I wonder how is it possible to spend so much time with traders and still keep the trading talk to a minimum. It makes me think if we tend to focus on the wrong things sometimes. |
Thank you for sharing your process. | |||
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Tuesday, January 18, 2011 Austin Tribe Report - The True Poop Dear Ed, This is my first report for the Austin Tribe. I am amazed at your skill and compassion as you conduct the meetings. For the first time, I get the intention of the tribe members to have someone arrive late. We are all part of the system. The causal model is silly, yet it continues to permeate our society. I notice that during our break for dinner I remain upstairs talking with another Tribe member. We send and receive each other. There is a lot of intimacy. We are still in state. He tells me some things he notices about me and comments about the cadence of my speech. Now, I notice the change in the cadence of my speech as well. It is something that I don’t do consciously, it is just happening. Now, my wife notices the change as well. I am amazed at the intimacy of the group. There is a seriousness about this group to do the work. That seriousness is noticeable. The feelings of compassion and willingness are strong. The two members who take the hot seat share feelings that resonate with each member of the Tribe. I learn from their hot seats. I learn from their processes. It seems we are all joined at the bladder. What I learn helps me notice that my son, who is four, has a resource for avoiding confrontation. He puts his head in blankets and pillows and also sometimes poops in his pants—a bodily function relating to the elimination of waste, which is similar to a resource in use at the Austin Tribe. We establish consequences when he poops in his pants. He has to clean himself and his clothes, and he has a process for doing so that takes him a very long time. He can stretch out the 10-minute process to two hours. We also delete the current recordings of his favorite show, Little Einsteins. Our process is to delete his favorite shows and sometimes give him room time (sort of a time out period). We continue doing more of what doesn’t work: he continues to poop in his pants, get more room time, get more shows deleted, poop his pants, and that’s basically the loop. I don’t notice him putting his head into the blanket and pillows. Now, I notice it. We have a spontaneous family, essential Tribe, meeting. We all agree to have the meeting. He agrees to do a process to see if he can get some different resources, resources that are different from putting his head in the pillow or blankets when he feels sad, then pooping his pants and getting attention. He then finds it hard to agree to do a process he knows nothing about. He asks me how long the process takes. I say “five minutes.” He says, “OK.” What happens next shocks both my wife and I. We begin the process and I ask him how he feels when he puts his head in the pillows and blankets. He says he feels sad. I ask him to show the feeling of sad. He makes a frown face and we encourage him to feel the feeling of sad. He continues and puts his head down and his hands under his eyes. He balls up his hand into little fists and rubs his eyes and the opens his hand and points all his fingers out. We continue to support him. He continues to repeat the process with his hands. It is a form. My wife and I share a look as we acknowledge that he is really into a form. We are a bit taken aback that he actually is displaying a form and that he is doing it so easily. I continue to manage his process. He then runs over to the couch where we have blankets and pillows. He puts his head in the pillows and blankets. I say, “That is your resource. That is what you do when you feel sad. You put your head in the pillows and blankets and sometimes you then poop in your pants, which gives you a big mess to clean and you get attention. That’s what you do, That’s your resource.” He agrees. We then continue the process and he adds a smile to the form. He gets comfortable feeling the feeling of sadness. Then I ask him if he likes the resource that he currently has or if he wants some different resources. He says he doesn’t like the resource and that he wants different resources. We continue the process and he feels the sad feeling and applies the resource of telling his mommy of how he feels and then asks her how she feels. We actually do the whole process and apply both resources of saying how he feels and then asking my wife how she feels, both with my wife playing the role of his mom, which is her role, so she isn’t playing the role of his mom, she is just being his mom. We go through the checkout process and I ask him to release my wife from playing the role of his mom and welcome her back as his mom and Tribe member. Well, that is just weird, and we all share a laugh at how silly that is. We agree that he doesn’t need to do any releasing of roles, that we are all actually just being who we are and that’s OK. I check out, then my wife checks out, then he has the final checkout. When he does his checkout both my wife and I are stunned to say the least. When he checks out he says, “I really like my new resources. I don’t like the old resource. It doesn’t work. I really, really like my new resources.” I’m scratching my head. My wife and I talk. We are having some difficulty assimilating what just happens. Did this really just happen? I notice that we complete the entire process in about 10 minutes. I’m amazed at how easily and quickly our son goes into the form, has willingness, and completes the process. It is late that night. He is having some trouble with something. He is upstairs and comes out of his room to the balcony. My wife and I are downstairs, and we look up at him standing at the railing. He says the he is trying to do something and it’s not working. He makes a frown, and then says, “I feel sad.” We both thank him for telling us how he feels. He then smiles and goes back to doing whatever he was doing. My wife and I just look at each other and smile. I’m thankful for the Austin Tribe, and for your willingness to open up your home and your heart. I’m thankful for the Tribe member who shows up late, and for the two courageous Tribe members that take hot seats, for the Tribe member that plays the role of the lead bully, and for the Tribe member that stays in state with me through the first part of the dinner break. My family, my essential Tribe, benefits from the Austin Tribe. I feel immense gratitude. Best, |
Thank you for sharing your process - and the true poop about
parenting.
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Tuesday, January 18, 2011 Austin Tribe Follow-Up Dear Ed, I attend the first meeting of the Austin Tribe. As the meeting begins, I notice that several participants are experiencing issues with their names due to the teasing they experience as children. I feel a great deal of empathy for the participants struggling with this issue. I grow up with an unusual name and, like them, experience teasing by my classmates. I find it interesting that so many people in the tribe happen to have the exact same issue, and unwittingly come together to support each other. Toward the end of the meeting, we work together on clarifying our respective goals. I find this exercise helpful. My overall goal heading into the meeting is to increase my portfolio heat. After working with the tribe to clarify that objective, I decide to break down my goal into a series of smaller steps. I leave the tribe meeting with the following tasks: 1. Establish the appropriate portfolio heat for my professional client account; 2. Establish the appropriate portfolio heat for my personal account; 3. Compare my system's trading performance when sizing my account on total equity versus core equity; 4. Establish a date certain by which I intend to increase my portfolio heat; 5. Increase my portfolio heat accordingly; 6. Log the feelings I experience throughout the process. Thank you hosting a great, first meeting, and for sharing your personal insights into the world of high-heat trading. I am looking forward to my journey to the "Dark Side!" Very truly yours, |
Thank you for sharing your process. | |||
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Tuesday, January 18, 2011 Austin Trading Tribe Meeting Report 1 Chief, Arriving for the meeting, I am happy to see so many of my friends from the Austin workshop. We spend time catching up and meeting with new tribe members. As it is our habit at these meetings, one graceful soul volunteers to be late. Curiously it is a member who lives the closest to Ed’s house. Go figure. This is a wonderful opportunity for Ed to explain the “Intention = Results” model. Ed takes some time to explain a few other things about the TTP process and how it evolves. Ed explains that his job is not to fix any of us. If we know what we want and are willing to fully participate, he may skillfully assist us in our efforts. The first member who shows willingness to take a hot seat deals with a situation where people often mispronounce his name. He gets embarrassed and freezes. During his process I don’t feel a connection with him. He seems passive and unable to fully work, almost waiting for the Tribe to do the work for him. During the process Ed asks him after each round of role play, “how does it work for him, if he can apply the new resource”. Eventually he answers “yes”. During the meeting, I feel some confusion. He just doesn’t seem to be finished with his process. I wonder if we do enough, if Ed could dig deeper. I have an AHA moment a few days after the meeting. I come to understand that it is HS who is in charge of his process, and whose willingness carries the process forward. If he says he is done and likes the resource, than that what it is. The second member that takes a hot seat deals with being called names at school. Sometimes students even chant the name he hates at school events. Ed spends a lot of time testing for his willingness to work. Ed asks the Tribe members to say what they think. I am surprised at how many people say – “no, he is not willing to work”. The tribe member comes back fighting for his right to work. Ed agrees to work with him. We role play his situation several times. A big crowd of kids chant his nickname at a school event. There is a leader to this bullying. Ed asks who is willing to play the leader. One of the members raises hand. He starts to chant and most of the tribe follows. HS jumps out of his chair and instead of going to talk to a member who volunteers to be the leader, he goes and talks to another member. HS later explains that this other member looks more like the bully from his school years. At first, HS uses some resources that are not compatible with establishing rapport, like blaming the bully for his feelings, aggressive body posture, aggressive gesturing and not listening. He also seems very uncomfortable and clumsy reporting on his feelings. One role play after another, he is getting better at using the sending and receiving feelings resources. Also, unlike the first HS, he keeps asking tribe for yet another time to role play and to practice using the new resource. He even requests the tribe to crank it up! At this point things are really getting cool as the role play looks very real. In the end, unlike the first HS, he seems to be happy with his new resource. After the meeting I notice HS2 seems a little different. I am looking forward to hearing the feedback from him. Ed, I thank you for the opportunity to be a part of this wonderful group and learn from you. Sincerely, |
Thank you for sharing your process. | |||
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Tuesday, January 18, 2011 Austin Workshop Feedback - Winning with Family and Business Hi Chief, At some point of the Austin workshop somebody asks Ed about how he comes up with everybody gets what they want. Ed describes his experience with clients. Ed notices that some of the clients would always invest right before the big move and some would do the opposite. That is the way it works. That is the way we all work. We get what we want. I could very much relate to it in my own life. I always break even. I can never get ahead. My whole life, no matter what I do I am able to earn just enough to somehow break even. I often get into debt; feel stressed while buying things. What if I need this money tomorrow? If I make more then something happens…the car breaks, major home repair, you name it. Even now, as a trader with a system that should make a lot of money the past two years, I find ways to trim the performance to assure my income is at a “break-even level”. I am sick and tired of this and want to make more money than I need. (It’s kind of cool writing this last sentence. I feel empowered doing so. Before my hot seat experience I would rarely share my desire to make a lot of money and if I would, I would feel guilty.) So there I am, sitting in the middle of the room. I am looking at Ed. He is looking at me. There are aspiring traders, people who want to improve all around to support me and each other. I travel to Austin to work with Ed. Check. This is it. The room is nice. It is a typical meeting room that comfortably seats about 25 people. On one side of the room are tables arranged in a big U-shape. On the other side are chairs arranged into two circles. We are all sitting in the circle part of the meeting room. Ed and I are sitting in the middle facing each other…. Ed starts with testing the hotness of my issue and willingness to work. This does not take very long as I know that I am sick and tired of always breaking even and my intention is to work on it. There are no questions about it. Intuitively I know that there is nothing I can do to change this other than to reprogram myself. “This process can really change who I am” – I think while sitting there. I am excited to go there, to change. Ed asks me, so what is the problem? It is working for you. I almost interrupt: No, no it is not, I don’t want to live this way anymore! I want to provide better for my family. I know I can do better. This sucks! It sucks to always break-even. To always feel stressed out about being in debt and wonder if I can afford this or that. At this point things get a little fuzzy as I am overwhelmed by emotions of sadness. I start crying like there is no tomorrow. If I had any expectations about the process, this was not it. I never cry. At this point I feel unconditional support and validation of the tribe. I feel safe. Ed and the Tribe support me on making my feelings stronger and more vivid. I am curled up, crying and when it seems that the feelings are at their peak Ed asks me to freeze the form. He asks me to go back and find the earliest recollection of when I feel this way. I find it. I am maybe seven or eight years old receiving a present from my parents, which is nothing like I wished for. I wanted a specific car and instead got cheaper version I did not like. I get upset do not say anything and shut down. At first I feel like I do not want to share this information with the tribe. I am upset about a present. That is it? I recall the hot seat of my friend from day before. He describes how his mother would drag him into the bed and with help from his sister, hold him there until he passes out. I am comparing my story to his and I feel stupid saying I am upset about receiving a present I do not want. On the other hand, I definitely see the connection with the issue - settling for less, providing just enough. I share this with the Tribe and they are very supportive. Ed skillfully acknowledges me, “Cars are very important for a kid”. I burst into tears again with feelings of sadness as I am a father now feeling a connection with my son. I feel so much love and sadness at the same time wishing I can be a good father for him. I am happy to cry. I feel powerful support from the people around me accepting me just the way I am. After I calm down a little bit Ed gathers some more details about the situation of my receiving a present I do not want. Ed tells me that during the roll play process I am going to be introduced to new resources and I may keep them or keep my old resource of shutting down. It is up to me. The roll play process has four stages. 1. I play myself using the original resources. 2. I observe tribe members role play. I watch another member using my original resource. 3. I observe another member using new resources of sending and receiving feelings. 4. I use the new resources. ----- 1. I play myself using the original resources. Ed instructs me to pick the actors for my role play. I intuitively choose people based on how their physical appearance resembles the people in my role play – my dad, my mom and my aunt. The role play starts with them coming back from shopping in a great mood. I am excited to get my car – can’t wait. Once they give me the car I do not want, I am so upset. I feel betrayed, disappointed, and sad. I shut down and do not show any feelings. I thank them and go watch TV. I don’t even look at the new toy. (I think about it later and see how with great regularity I feel this way as a giver, as well as, a receiver. Christmases, birthdays, you name it, I always find a way how to give something disappointing to my wife. I also downplay my own importance. When asked what I want for Christmas or birthdays I would often say – don’t buy me anything. I don’t need anything. This also applies to my jobs where I would often be the guy with the lowest salary. I would find people to work with or for who I can constantly disappoint and they can disappoint me. In trading I make last minute changes to my system to cut its performance in a half.) 2. I observe my friend role play me using my original resource Once I observe somebody else playing me I see how great I am in hiding feelings. I am thinking, as I observe my friend role play me, “There is no way I can tell what he is feeling”. I have a mini-Aha moment while doing this as I realize, “How can I get different results if I do not speak up?” 3. I observe my friend using the new resources of sending and receiving feelings. This is really cool to watch. The actor playing me starts sharing his feelings with my parents. He is not happy and he lets them know about it “This is not what I want, I am so disappointed now, I am so sad”. They fight back, “What do you think the money grows on trees? Are you being unthankful? This is the best we can do…you should be happy with what you got, that is all we can afford.” The actor playing me keeps reporting on his feelings and asking my parents if they are willing to listen to his feelings. At some point they stop talking over him and just listen. Bingo! Now Ed urges him to ask them how they feel. And they start reporting: “Son, we work so hard, we do what we can, we love you,” Ed urges my role play; “Ask them how does it feel to not have enough? How does it feel not being able to provide? They are sad….they share with him that they wish they can do better and that they love him. …..I sit there just watch…..I think this is really powerful. I am waiting in anticipation for my friend to return the car and ask for the one he really wants. Something else happens. They all hug and he tells them that it is ok. He can play with this one too. I watch and in my mind go “no, no, no – I want to achieve, I want to provide, I want more from my life, I don’t want to settle for less anymore.” Ed interrupts my thoughts by asking me if I like the resource. I say no, I do not. I say that I like the connection but not the result. He just shakes his head in agreement as if he knows that is what I am going to say. 4. I use the new resources I understand what to do now and I have a huge desire to succeed. I share feelings with my parents, establish a connection and make a deal. I am able to reach a deal with my dad. To help pay for the car I want, I agree to work around the house and pay for half of it. I am happy about it, although I know I have to wait little longer to get it. There are a couple of cool things about this. I already use this resource with my four year old. The tribe member who plays my dad initiates this deal, while not aware of this fact. ----- The month after the workshop is the most successful month of my trading yet. In December 2010 our proprietary account returns +30% ROR before fees. In dollar terms, I make about 5 years of my previous pay in just one month. Besides my house, I pay off all my debt and commit to not go into debt again. At the end of the workshop, I set a goal of raising a specific amount AUM. Since the workshop I seem to be taking many steps in the right direction to fulfill this goal. The effects of this work are also spilling into other part of my life. I enjoy life more; feel connected with my wife and son. Thank you for making this possible and for managing my process Ed. Sincerely, |
Thank you for sharing your process - and your results. | |||
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Tuesday, January 18, 2011 6:09 AM Trend-Following Crows Operate Vending Machine Chief, How about those crows in this video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bXQAgzfwuNQ Best regards, |
Thank you for the link. One big difference between lab rats and people is that when you remove the cheese from the maze, the rats eventually cut the loss and stop looking for the cheese.
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Tuesday, January 18, 2011 Father and Son, by Cat Stevens Ed, Thank you for posting the link to this beautiful song. I feel more like my sons companion and friend every day. I feel curious about him. I wonder and enjoy the simple moments with him. I am happy to find you Ed, to guide me on this road. Sincerely, |
OK. | |||
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Tuesday, January 18, 2011 Wants to Clone The Essentials Card Hi Ed, I work at becoming a trend trader. I learn from the Trading Tribe website and with the help of a seminar attendee. I enjoy the journey and I thank you for all that you share. I am designing a contact card and would like to have 'The Essentials' on the back of it. This will remind me and provide a talking point with those i hand it to. I only wish to have the words and not the great image of you and the banjo. Are the words copyrighted or just the image? Is it essential to have '(c) Ed Seykota' or can i just credit you with 'Ed Seykota' under the text. Please let me know if i have your permission to use this reminder in this way. My best, |
Thank you for your request. The principles of trading that you see on the card pre-date me by quite a while. I suppose you might look to some of the first dinosaur meat traders for an original source. I have no claim on these principles and I am happy to pass them along. The copyright applies to the drawing and to the layout. You are welcome to omit the photo and re-arrange the words. You may credit me, if you like, as long as you do not imply any endorsement by me of you or your products.
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Tuesday, January 18, 2011 Anger is not Aggression Learning to Receive Gifts Dear Ed, I have a date and buy new trousers. In the afternoon I visit my mother. She insists to stitch them up and iron them. I thank her and refuse. To me, they are OK. Every ten minutes she repeats her offer. After thanking her and refusing several times, I feel angry. I decide to express my feelings of anger and show my boundaries. I think that this is appropriated and compatible with the intimacy model. Quite wrong. As I express my anger and firmly tell her that she has been insisting for one hour, that I am adult and that she is bothering me, she is hurt and also gets angry. I stop and reconsider. Then, I share with her my wonder about her persistence on stitching up my trousers. She mentions that she just wants me to look great. I acknowledge her feelings and thank her. This leads to a much more intimate communication, to a complete different result. To me, this is a big learning experience. I can use “anger” as an excuse to get angry and aggressive, or as an entry point to ask my interlocutor about his/her feelings and intentions. If someone enters your property unannounced, he can intend to steal you, to give you a present, to inform you that your doorbell does not ring, or he can plainly be blind and lost his way. Anger just shows “oh, someone is invading my boundaries”. And that can be a good opportunity to establish contact. Best regards, |
Thank you for sharing your process. | |||
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Monday, January 17, 2011 Tribe Update - Drumming and Clear Goals Ed, Before every session whether in tribe meetings or workshops, Ed begins by drumming. I find myself consistently wondering why and how does the drumming set the tone and to help focus the participants for the meeting. This is not the first time I have heard of using drumming to begin a meeting. I commit to finding out why doing this is helpful. During the hot seat of one of the participants discussed being harassed by a bully in school, I believe I finally begin to understand that people radiate their emotions so others can detect them and use them in some fashion. While thinking about this I feel sad when I consider how we as humans affect each other without really trying to be mean. I notice I think back on times during the day and recognize that someone or I acted in a controlling way to manipulate the other. I commit to continue recognizing when others or I act in a control-centric way. By doing this, I will change the way I interact with people. During our review view of our goals for this tribe it becomes apparent my goals are not specific enough and poorly written. I feel the need to focus on goal-setting which I have never done properly. My goal for the Austin tribe is to develop a complete system and the stick with it. I was fortunate to spend some time with Ed and a few other members on Friday morning. They gave me great support and guidance for beginning to complete my goal. I thank them for their support and offer anyone else the same support I have received. Thank you. |
Thank you for sharing your process. | |||
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Monday, January 17, 2011 Wants to Know the Right Way Hi Ed, I was a proprietary trader trainee for 7 months. I know you are a great trader through Market Wizard. I have deep desire to be a top trader. Recently, I realized two things about trading which are completely different from what I understood 7 months ago. I’d like to hear your comments and opinion. I want to know whether I am in the right track to my goal. The first thing I understand about trading is that I do NOT predict the market when I put on a trade. I just followed the rules that the trading strategy (or trading system) produced. I simply repeat a trading strategy 100 times to find out whether it can overall make money or not. When I put on a trade, I shouldn’t expect market to do anything other than move since losing or wining one particular trade doesn’t mean anything. All I need to do is to find those strategies that have odds in my side and to have the discipline to stick to the rules. The second thing I realized is that the simpler strategy is better as long as I understand what this strategy captures. For example, if my idea is to capture big trend, I can use very simple strategy such as Moving averages crossover or Donchain Channel breakout strategy. All I need to do is simply stick to it. I previously preferred complicated strategy such as combine complex technical analysis with fundamental analysis to gain psychological confidence. But I found those strategy always gave me the second guess when I executed them. I want to know whether these two thoughts are right way to think about trading and your suggestions on how to improve trading skills. Thank you for your time to read my email. Best, |
I do not know what's right for you. You might consider taking your feelings about <wanting to do it right> to Tribe. |
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Monday, January 17, 2011 Wants to Connect with Good Traders Dear Ed, Given the mentorship program for traders that you have set up, I presume you come across a stable of very talented traders. Among them, are there any that are looking for funds to manage and that you think are doing a good job? I would like to add a few outside traders to my portfolio beyond my own trading. I understand that potential leads come with the usual caveats and do not constitute an official endorsement but any leads are anyway very much appreciated! best regards, |
Perhaps you can tell me something more about yourself. I wonder if you can tell me about how much money you wish to invest, what kind of percentage draw-downs you can tolerate, what kinds of returns you would like to make, what types of instruments you would like to see in your portfolio and what kind of experience you have with others managing your money and if you prefer having an individual account or being part of a fund. |
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Sunday, January 16, 2011 Optimization Hi Ed, 1. I start to read your book. I want so much to lean you system. 2. I did optimization (AMI broker software) of your EA approach to 3 stocks, GOOG, AAPL, TNA. All of then confirmed you point that that you said “You might also notice that you make the most money with a slow system with a high heat and low ATR multiplier, although this configuration also delivers very large drawdowns.” Should we think about aggressive, or defensive way? 3. So far, I can say on AAPL, that you can optimize this stock till 2005 and back tested on 2006-2010, then you can optimize different way, optimize it till 2005,2006, …, 2009 and back tested on 2006 (if optimized it till 2005), back tested on 2007, if optimize it till 2006, and the same way till 2010. I think, numbers stay close, meaning, EA Crossover system is stable to economic changes for these years. I don’t understand it but maybe it for just one stock …, or for EA Macroeconomics changes do not matter?! Thanks for your teaching, |
Thank you for sharing your process. You might consider testing over several thousand stocks over several decades. You might also notice that unless your data base contains the history for stocks of companies that are out of business, your results may contain a survivorship bias. |
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Sunday, January 16, 2011 Austin Workshop feedback - catalyst Dear Ed, I arrive at the workshop & the central thing I want to achieve is finding my right livelihood. However, the concept doesn't get momentum and moreover, I'm not really sure what it means. All I know is that I feel that I need to change where I am at because it doesn't feel right. I can't say exactly what I want but I know that my current situation is not working for me. I try to not get too hung-up and go with the flow and quickly get interested in what Ed is talking about. I am fascinated by the realization that feelings are friends & excited about the intimacy-centric model. I enjoy the company of my fellow participants & I get thoroughly immersed in the workshop. As the workshop draws to a close, I feel like I'm going through a life-altering experience. I've not even touched on right livelihood but who cares? I've got so much from the workshop. Here I am in [Country], little more than a month later & I reflect on what has come to pass. Upon returning home to [Country 2], my partner & I decide that the time is right to draw to a close our two year adventure & plan our return to [Country 3]. Furthermore we feel the time is right to get married & so last week I get married to my inspiring partner of 14 years (& the mother of my children) at a beautiful wedding. It is hard saying fair well to our wonderful friends this week. I am comforted by the realization that it's alright for me to be feeling sad; in fact the discovery of being willing to feel my feelings has been revolutionary & helped immeasurably with the emotions of the past six weeks. Later this week I fly out to [Country 3]. I feel daunted by the challenge of getting settled back in but I don't try to suppress the feeling. What is daunted trying to tell me? What am I unwilling to feel that will imprison me if I don't acknowledge it? There are two observations from the past weeks that stand out in my mind right now. 1) I subtly, almost unconsciously try to manipulate those close to me with my tone of voice or irritability. This is control & I vow to replace this behavior with intimacy-centric alternatives. 2) I see the confusion on my little daughter's face when people (with the best of intentions) say "are you excited about going back to [Country 3]"? How is she meant to respond? She has an idyllic life in [2] & can barely remember [3]. It seems to me that without thinking, people sometimes frame their questions in such a way that they hold the subject of the question captive. I resolve that in the future, rather than saying "are you sad that the dog died" for example, I will say "how do you feel about the dog dying"? The owner could be feeling anything from devastation to blissful relief & I don't want to invalidate their feeling with my unthinking suggestion. I feel excited & wonder about right livelihood... Thanks as ever for your enlightening perspectives. |
Thank you for sharing your process. Congratulations on your marriage.
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Sunday, January 16, 2011 Wants Trading Advice / Specific Guidance Hi Ed, Today is Sunday 16 Jan 2011. I download trade data. I subscribe with ... data source. Today is morning of Monday 17 Jan 2011. I convert the data downloaded to txt files so my program can accept them. I run my Trend program. I use time constant = 10. Output is attached. The trend program replicates the one in your tutorial. I go to [Site] to get the share tables so I can remove stocks that did not have a last price (close Friday 14 Jan). I open the output file and the share table info in Excel. I remove the stocks as describe in paragraph above. I sort the output so that the stocks with highest percent Rate of Change is on top. Excel file attached. I look at the charts. SVM and EXR look like it is trending up. I choose EXR because it has a higher trade value. I have $45,000 trading capital. The trade range of EXR on Friday 14th was 0.155 and 0.195. I set the entry price half-way. Entry price = 0.175. Using formula x=p(i-er)/i where: p=0.175 i = $4000 e = $45000 r = 2% x = 0.135 I place order $0.175, 22857 units. Market open higher but at 10:53am has come back to 0.19. Stop at 0.135. Please let me know if I have made errors. Any guidance would be most appreciated. Thanks! Regards, |
FAQ does not offer specific trading advice, or recommend specific trading system parameters, or make predictions, or tell people what they should do. See Ground Rules.
If you wish to have me review your system and make specific recommendations, see the terms for private consulting at Ground Rules. |
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Sunday, January 16, 2011 Tribe Report - #1, Austin Ed, Twenty four hours before the tribe meeting I feel excitement. I arrive at Ed's, I start to feel drained from the flight and dehydrated which causes me to be constipated. Before the meeting I catch a twenty minute nap, I awake and meet the tribe members. Drums start beating the meeting has begun, I feel relaxed. Going through the drills was awkward at first, but I soon get in the rhythm of the meeting. Ed points out after the bathroom break that we only went thirty minutes before loosing focus, I see this pattern with myself, and I reflect that I feel I don't deserve to be successful. I recall my father telling me what a piece of s--- I am. I dig deeper, and at times sabotage myself. I notice that I get on the right track and then stop what is making me succeed. I start projects very strong, and then finish poorly. I commit to finish strong on all my projects and stay focused all the way through, as I do deserve success. I relate to the name calling as I have experienced this from kids growing up, not really an issue that bothers me but I can relate to how kids can be hurtful. We break for dinner (which was excellent) my hunger feels satisfied. The Tribe restarts, I feel exhausted I catch my wind after the last break. Going over my goals and the other goals I see the group shares a lot of same goals and issues. I feel great, the meeting was a success to me. Excitement the feeling I had leaving Ed's, from a great meeting to going to see my wife and kids later in the day. |
Thank you for reporting your experience. | |||
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Sunday, January 16, 2011 7:59 AM I re-submit part of my application to the Breathwork Dear Ed, I re-submit part of my application to the Breathwork at the circle TT ranch. Thank you for your response “Breathwork application dated Jan. 8 2011”, and the beautiful idea to consider. Ed says “You might consider loading your subconscious wish list with things you like.” I think about the beautiful idea to consider and come up with a list of things that I “do like”. My new “things I like” wish list follows: I like to experience feelings completely and have them as allies. I like accepting responsibility for absolutely everything in my life. I am 100% getting what I want and I like it. I am great at attracting what I want! I like a logical, well tested trading a system that is boring and profitable. I like following the system and experiencing any and all feelings that come up. I like feelings and use them as allies to stay on track, to follow the system and to develop new systems. I like intimacy based relating. I like to receive my family members and I like to send to my family members. I like loving relationships. I like myself and my results in life. I want and am responsible for my results in life. I like being comfortable, being proud and being at ease with myself and my results in life. In many ways I am similar to my parents, I like this and have this as part of my overall behavior patterns. At times I use their lessons to effectively manage life. At times I choose other more appropriate responses to effectively manage life. I like this. I like to complete projects. I have many completed projects and tasks that are beautiful memories and I enjoy them. I like aiding and assisting myself and others through TTP, Breathwork and experiencing feelings. I like growing and expanding assets and zero balance with creditors. I like experiencing feelings, forms and emotions. I like it when my kids or a family member (or anyone) shares their feelings with me and I like to share my feeling with them. I like the idea that what other people think about me is their business. I have unconditional love for me. I like being patient and tolerant; I like being able to wait and being willing. I like self talk and inner guidance. I use it to guide me through life and I know the positive intention and have this available to me as I experience right livelihood and live the responsibility model. I like following my systems. I like remaining calm and dissociated and relax and am curious when I have open positions. I relax and know they will fluctuate and that is part of the system. I like accepting fully the responsibility model and the intentions equal results model, I like and am responsible for what I get and thus I am experiencing right livelihood. I like being on time, on schedule, on task and up to date. I like listening to music on high end stereo systems. I like volunteering for local youth sports. I like watching sports with family and friends. I like being physically fit and exercising. I like a low cholesterol diet. What I intend to accomplish: I accept all as they are. I receive them and send to them and have intimacy based relationships. I accept full 100% responsibility for my results in life. I get what I want. Intention = Results. I listen to, use and follow inner guidance. I read over the list of “what I like” and I feel warmth and I feel calm. I read the “what I intend to accomplish” and I know this is transformational for me and I wonder if I communicate it effectively via the written word. Once again thank you Ed for TTP and the tremendous work you put into it! |
Thank you for the revision - and for framing your wishes as things you enjoy. | |||
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Sunday, January 16, 2011 Tribe Report Dear Ed, Please update the [City] Tribe TTID with the one attached. We now have 7 members, two of whom are female, which I feel adds a very positive dimension to the tribe, and start the first of a 10 session series last Thursday. We also begin a second Project Process series. Thursday's meeting is the first since I report to the Tribe after my return from the Austin Workshop. We intend to use the new Rocks process, so I feel a degree of apprehension & responsibility about guiding our group through it. But all goes well and we have a fantastic meeting... During first check-in I realize I am "Hot" : I am feeling very negative about living in The Netherlands, it's flat, wet windiness, it being full of cheese & potato & frikandel (WTF is a frikandel anyway !?) - eating, rude Dutch people. I am feeling trapped by the fact that my family is now somewhat established here ... the school, the mortgage, the high-value home that would be difficult to sell right now, etc. etc. I take the first Hot Seat and quickly develop forms around all this, at some point the PM freezes it and asks if I have felt this way before. A kind of video reel of my earlier life spins in front of my eyes, a little like the symbols of a one-armed bandit slot machine before they stop, and I stop at a scene to which I can't clearly relate. I am about 5 - 7 years old & I have just walked out of my best friend's birthday party. His father has chased me out into the street & is trying to catch me, but I keep dodging left and right in between tightly parked cars. I do not want to be caught. fairly quickly he gives up and laughs, saying something like "Come back in when you feel like it". He goes in and I walk about a mile and a half across central London to my own home (it's about 1960 & a weekend, so very safe in those days, although I'm sure it never occurs to my friends' father that I would do this). I feel a sense of freedom as I do this & am proud when my very surprised mother opens our front door. PM asks me if I want to role play this incident, but it doesn't bring back any strong feelings of being trapped, so PM asks me if I am willing to feel really trapped and I say yes and the tribe sends masses of support as curl up in a ball on my chair and feel more & more trapped, then that is frozen and this time there is a clear image of a past incident, although again I don't relate it to my issue (NB. as I write I remember your comments at the workshop about how HS can't really "get" this on their own, the tribe's support and insight are essential). The incident is a dentist visit when I am less than 10 years old. My mother, who always hated the dentist as a child, took my brothers, sister & I to a dentist who specialized in total anesthesia for even a simple filling; it avoided all pain, but when this dentist retired, I remember feeling huge relief that his replacement did not do this : I wanted to stay conscious. So we role play a typical visit, with tribe members playing the dentist, his assistant, my mother & me. We add the resources of my telling the dentist how frightened I feel about being made unconscious and how I feel strongly that I do not want this, that I am not going to allow it; and secondly asking both the dentist and my mother, who are telling me how great the anesthetic treatment is and how painful and awful the alternative would be, what are they feeling about it. It takes quite a few requests before they answer with their feelings in the moment, rather than ideas about what is good, but the final role-play feels like a great release. I feel very light, un-trapped and open the following day. Second HS is a new member who is keen to take the HS. The issue is around general dissatisfaction / unease, especially in the last 3 months, and is not clearly defined. I am not the PM, but feel I should ask the issue to be better clarified, but do not, as forms are being rapidly developed. The form is frozen and intensified and in response to being asked if he can remember feeling the same way at an earlier time, HS starts to describe his early very unhappy experiences at school, which he hates and where he is labeled dumb & therefore a special case as he cannot read by the time he is nine. The school have totally failed to realize he is dyslexic. He tells his loving parents many times how he hates school, is treated cruelly by other pupils and teachers alike and doesn't want to go there anymore. His parents tell him that they love him and send him to that school because everyone says it is the best and they want the best for him. One day, he crawls into the back of a closet and just curls up in a ball and shuts down. His parents search the house for him, very worried, calling out for him. But he says nothing. After a couple of hours, they find him, and hold him and hug him. But when they ask him why he has done this, he cannot really respond - they have never heard him before and he has now shut down. We role-play this and it is a very powerful experience for all involved. The surrogate HS, when found in the closet and asked by his parents what / why / how etc., bursts spontaneously into tears (at check out he describes it as an out of the body experience). The final role play, with HS as his younger self is also very powerful and moving, and HS takes on the new resources of sharing & asking feelings. While role-paying the father, I also coach the PM to ensure he keeps HS on track in terms of sharing his feelings, rather than thoughts, and asking the feelings, rather than reasons, opinions, thoughts, of this parents. It seems the third parties usually respond to being asked about their feelings with some form of reason, rather than pure feeling, and it is getting to the core feelings that is essential to the process. At check-out, there is a strong sense of togetherness and elation - we all feel that as a tribe we have taken a great step forward incorporating the new Rocks Process into our meeting. I personally find some aspects quite magical, including how the role-players often play their parts so well (I have seen something similar with Bert Hellinger's work, which as I expect you know also involves role play within his Family Constellations). I find the HS experience using this Rocks Process to be far more powerful than just bringing forms to the zero point : it certainly addresses one of my workshop goals of not using TTP as medicine. Thank-you, Ed. |
Thank you for sharing your process - and your implementation of the technology. | |||
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Saturday, January 15, 2011 Wants a Book Ed, how can i buy the book The Trading Tribe |
See the link above or try this: http://www.seykota.com/tribe/Book/index.htm | |||
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Saturday, January 15, 2011 Austin Tribe report 1-13-11 Hi Ed, I am reporting on my experience at the Austin tribe. At this meeting I did not go on the hot seat, but I came away with some realizations which I would like to share. When [Name] was on the hot seat I focus completely on receiving his forms and cheering him on. After he got through his forms and talked about what happened to him when he was younger it triggered something inside of me. The word resentment popped into my head and wouldn't leave. I kept repeating it over and over in my mind. This is something I have thought about before the meeting, but it never seemed that important to me. By receiving for [Name] I realized that a big part of my life, you could call it the core piece of my personality revolves around resentment. I thought about how my Dad has resented me as far back as I can remember. He has resented me so long that being resented is really all I know. I'm so used to being resented that I somehow feel comfortable when people resent me so I unconsciously entrain dramas so people resent me. The funny part of all this is that I have a 'thing' about people liking me, and I have a strong fear and dislike of anyone resenting me. So in some weird way I unconsciously want people to resent me because I'm comfortable in that position (because of my Dad) and on the other hand, consciously I don't want to be resented. I don't see how this dichotomy could exist inside of me at the same time, but at the meeting it was clear in my mind. I think its amazing how receiving can trigger things inside the receiver. Thanks, |
Thank you for sharing your process.
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Saturday, January 15, 2011 Austin Tribe Meeting 1 FAQ Report Ed, In a role play a tribe member is confronting a group of high school classmates lead by a bully all chanting a hurtful nickname over and over, Cebo! Cebo! Cebo! [Spanish: greasy, animal fat] The tribe member addresses the bully, applying the approach of testing for willingness, sharing his feelings, asking the bully if he will share his feelings. In the tribe member’s first couple of runs of the role play he has the words down but the body language and tone is confrontational and aggressive, not rapport building. When he speaks it is forceful with anger and hand gestures that stab and karate chop. This is a stage that I can relate to in my application of the intimacy model. Particularly when it is regarding something that I’ve been sitting on for while. I recall having some feelings building up towards an in-law for some time. Over the recent holidays at the dinner table he gives me a golden entry point to address the issue. Without hesitation I take the opportunity. I start out with my finger pointing and aggressive language and posture. He fights back and I give him more. There’s no vulgarities, no raised voices, but I stay with him on his b.s. A few minutes after the back and forth ends he leaves the dinner table. A day and a half pass and I approach him much calmer to see if he wishes to talk. For the first hour or so of us sitting down I just listen. Listen. Listen. And listen. I ask him about his feelings and my persistent listening builds a lot of rapport. We find some common ground and also come to understand and agree that we just don’t click together very well. For me, it’s hard to imagine not starting in a place of anger and aggression at the dinner table because it’s anger I feel. Some of my anger come from me blaming him for how I feel. In the same fashion, I understand how the tribe member starts off with aggressive and confrontational body language and tone towards the bully. He’s hated this nick name and this bullying for a long time and he’s angry about it. On the other hand, I see how it makes sense to not draw blood. Having a Cool Hand Luke approach in such a situation is something for me to work on. Back to roll play, in later runs the tribe member successfully approaches the bully in a firm but cool manner. When he sincerely shares with the bully that the name calling hurts him, causes his legs to shake and he feels it in his stomach with a posture of keeping his hands to his side and a calm body stance he gets a softening of the bully. The hurt he feels registers in a slight quiver of his lips and a hardly detectable shake in his voice. His strength transmits by being there in the moment in front of the bully and showing the courage to tell the bully how he feels about the situation. It seems that a deeper integration of the responsibility model can be helpful to me in embracing a rapport building approach when I’m hot about something. In my own drama, what’s going on between me and my in-law is what I’m attracting and creating. So, if I see it this way, rather than being angry at what “he’s doing to me” I can see it as this is how he is serving me. I want to change it so building a rapport may be a more effective way to affect change. |
Thank you for sharing your process.
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Friday, January 14, 2011 Becoming a CTA Good Day Ed, Your website is a great resource in my continued learning of trading and psychology. I am currently researching and exploring becoming a CTA to manage money for investors. I notice on the systems project page you have a bunch of titles for future links relevant to my research (i.e. presenting the results, forming a fund, etc.). If you are currently too busy to create these pages, do you have any good resources you could direct me to that might help? Many Thanks. |
You are welcome to create materials to extend the System Project pages. | |||
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Thursday, January 13, 2011 TT in Russian Ed, Hello, I want to read your The Trading Tribe Book. How can I read it, if I'm locate in Russia? And last question... May I translate it and officially publish in Russia? We can have big deal. Thank you |
You can order the book by following the Trading Tribe Book link
above. I prefer that you do not publish the book in Russian as I have no way to know if your translation accurately reproduces the content. |
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Thursday, January 13, 2011 Breathwork Workshop Application Ed, + I have attended two Workshops in Reno, NV + I have read Adventure of Self-Discovery several times and will re-read pp. 167-219 in preparation for the workshop + How Breathwork works (from memory of personal experience, and reading Grof): Breathwork is a process, often conducted in a quiet, peaceful environment with a facilitator and other participants who pair off, and in two sessions one of a pair will breath, the other will sit in watchful attendance to the breather. The facilitator may provide appropriate music for the sessions. During his Breathwork session, the breather reposes in a lying position, and after an initial period of relaxation, forces himself to breath at a rate higher than required by biological needs given the circumstance - overriding the automatic and unconscious functions of the brain which regulate breathing. This intentional breathing produces an imbalance in the level of oxygen in the bloodstream. The breathing initially brings about a state of hyperventilation which manifests itself in a variety of physical ways - sometimes dizziness and tingling in the extremities. As the session progresses the breather may go into a state of mind where the normal boundaries between the conscious and sub-conscious mind are broken down, and may experience a variety of experiences, including the hallucinogenic, similar to the experience of a 'trip' using L.S.D. Grof, in his clinical studies of L.S.D. and Breathwork, has documented three broad categories of the types of experiences of his research subjects: 1) biographical - the breather re-experiences, often with great verisimilitude, the thoughts, feelings, visual memories, sounds of experiences from their own life, which may range as far back to memories of being in the womb, the experience of childbirth, etc. Often memories of traumatic experiences, which had been inaccessibly stored away in the sub-conscious as a way for the individual to avoid the pain of those memories, are released back into conscious memory, enabling the breather to integrate that experience. 2) trans-personal - the breather experiences something like an out of body experience, or bi-location where he is in a situation completely removed from his personal life experience, with vivid details of experiencing other cultures, inhabiting a different body, a different personality, perhaps a different time in history. 3) transcendent - the breather experiences the presence of God, a glimpse of heaven, of perfect and complete joy and contentment in union with God and the entire universe. Or they may experience a vision of hell, of pain and malaise - completely cut off from the sublime life force. Physical manifestations during the session may include involuntary bodily movement and postures, muscular cramping, nausea, emotional expression (joy, laughter, sadness, grief), sexual excitement. The "sitter" - the other person in the participant pair, participates in a passive, watchful, caring way, near the breather, but generally does not interfere with the experience of the breather other than to prevent the breather from harming himself or other participants, and to flag the facilitator if their attention is required. Each person's session, once it gets going, has a natural life cycle, like an amusement ride. Breathers naturally come down out of the state of process on their own. Often there is a separate room with refreshments where they can go and "unwind" from the experience away from other participants who have not finished as early. Some facilitators will provide poster board and drawing materials to allow the breather to create an artistic impression of their experience in their session. After both sessions the entire group may gather in a circle to "check out", sharing their experiences and their drawings with the group. Participants are encouraged to eat in a health-conscious way, to drink plenty of water, are warned that the may still be "in process" and emotionally vulnerable over the ensuing few days, and to take life easier than they might otherwise. + What I Intend to Accomplish I intend, in the Breathwork workshop, to learn more about myself using this powerful tool for self-exploration, to resolve any issues in my sub-conscious mind which may be creating dramas in my everyday life, preventing me from being as effective as I might be in creating goals and accomplishing them, to gain clarity of mind, thought, body and feelings, to help and support others in their processes. + I commit to full participation and reporting to FAQ. + I commit to working hard with little or no rest |
Thank you for your application and for your description of the process. | |||
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Thursday, January 13, 2011 Bear Wisdom - Animation Ed, See: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dylan-ratigan/free-market-fraud_b_805936.html At first glance, the December jobs report seems to be a step in the right direction. An unemployment rate of 9.4 percent, the lowest level in 19 months. And a president, happy to boast about another 103,000 jobs being created last month. However, an economist ... points out two important caveats. For one, 260,000 Americans simply dropped out of the labor force in December. They are out of work, yet no longer counted as unemployed by the government. And secondly, 103,000 jobs is nowhere near the number of jobs we need to be adding each month. To bring unemployment down to 6 percent by 2013, businesses need to hire an average of 350,000 new workers each month. |
You might consider taking your feelings about <the causal model>
to Tribe. |
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Thursday, January 13, 2011 6:22 AM Second Place Dear Ed, I practice TTP and Kundalini Yoga. I open up to my feelings, go with the flow, and also practice transcribing my feelings directly into a daily journal. I look for a common theme in my feelings and find inferiority, guilt, regret, helplessness, resignation, and dread to be quite pervasive. I begin to see how a lot of the choices I make in life are motivated by wanting to avoid these feelings. I medicate my feelings by figuring things out, attempting to fix others, socializing and partying, maintaining numerous shallow relationships, having "fun", and moving from project to project. I ensure these feelings continue to run my life by never really winning. I find that I have many awards for 2nd place. Everybody gets what they want. I intend to take my feelings of inferiority to tribe as an entry point. With thanks, |
Thank you for sharing your process.
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Thursday, January 13, 2011 Last Minute Kick Hi, Ed - I see on your site that the Austin Tribe series is full, and I am kicking myself for not applying earlier. I am sorry to miss out. Since we last spoke, [Firm] called me in for a conference with the HR folks in [City], and let me know they have decided not to let me [Service] independent, and have offered me a severance package - my employment with them will continue until February 15th, and then I will have severance and benefits until mid-summer. When I took the job in early 2000, I had embarked on a path of trading on my own ... be a good opportunity to develop my trading skills, my edge, and have the security of a steady job. It has been good on all those counts, and has been wonderful in that I have been able to work from home for the first ten years of [my kid's] lives. It has been a great job. But, now it is time to begin the next chapter of my life, and so I thought the Austin Tribe Series would be a good process, and well timed to help me discern a direction. My ambition to make my living trading is still alive, but I have also had some thoughts about pursuing totally different avenues to make a living for myself and my family. For several years after Hurricane Katrina, I haven't been actively trading, but in October I started up again, holding a portfolio of 20 long-only stocks which are ranked high on a proprietary ranking system produced by a hedge fund manager who lets me trade my own account on his signals for a 1% fee. The results have been Ok, but I have some ideas of how I might improve on the position exits for better results. It has been a good discipline to follow the signals to the letter, to balance my account to the penny with my trade tracking software, and the profits have been nice also. If a spot in the series opens up please consider letting me apply for it. Regards, |
Thank you for sharing your process. | |||
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Tuesday, January 11, 2011 Progress Report Hello support team, I am reporting progress in my 3 goals. Fund I have already found an apartment and a very nice office in [City], I should be installed by the end of the month. My favorite candidate for the programmer position didn’t show up so I am very disappointed, I am going to look for a new one... I have found some Law Firms that could help me with the legal requirements; my goal is to have it ready by march. Everything is going according to plan. However I do wonder if I am using my desire to automate the process as an excuse for procrastination and to delay real trading. I have decided that I can start executing trades manually because it can help to realize how I feel about my system. I am working on this issue with the Austin Tribe. Intimacy with family I am very frustrated because I didn’t find the time (didn’t want to?) to explain my brothers and parents the intimacy model. I wonder if there is a way for me to receive and share my feelings with them without them knowing what all is about. However I did explain my mom the TT process, she is very happy, she understands everything and I feel really connected to her, she is very receptive and I feel this is the beginning of an intimate relationship with her. So I am making progress. However she mentions she wants to send my dad to a tribe because she thinks he has serious Knots, I agree with her although I know that tribes don’t “fix” people. My dad has a facial paralysis due to stress and I know it is going to be difficult to engage in intimacy, he likes blaming everybody and he always feels persecuted when somebody hints at a slight criticism. My goal is to find a way to intimate with him and with my brothers. This is another thing I am going to work on during the Austin Tribe. Happiness I am seriously struggling. Now, I have everything that I could wish for: I love what I do, I make good money, I love the city, I have freedom and so on. But I keep bringing dramas to my life so I can feel unhappy. I don’t know why I can’t stop thinking about my ex girlfriend, she tries to call me today but I reject her, thinking about her brings me “the burn”, it is not pleasant. However I write and email saying very nice things to her and she does likewise, I feel much better now, I don’t want to control her anymore, she has the right to be happy. I think that the lack of sex and general contact with women might be a reason for my feelings of not being satisfied with life, I notice that since I can’t stop thinking about my ex, I cannot relate to women very easily (as it was the norm before I became obsessed with her). I also notice that I feel lonely; I don’t have many friends that I could have an intimacy based relationship with, I feel they don’t understand me, I wonder if there is a way to make people understand you. Probably not. I recon I would be a lot happier if I could share my feelings more often. Third thing that I want to work on during the tribe series. Thank you very much for listening to my feelings. I will keep in touch! Happy year to everybody. |
Thank you for sharing your process. | |||
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Tuesday, January 11, 2011 Sayings of Ed Hi Chief, Here are some of the quotes from Austin TT Workshop that found their way into my notes and heart. I would like to share them with the FAQ readers. Ed on drumming: "I knock the conscious mind out with drumming and then I let them go into a trance." Ed on sharing feelings: "Do not get involved in story telling unless they also validate feelings. You start off discussing logic and the opportunity to connect is over in a heartbeat." “When describing feelings there is no blame” “When they start story telling interrupt and ask for feelings” Ed on willing senders: "It's like popcorn, one pops and they all start popping." Ed on trading: "Good trading is embarrassing, boring or whatever else you don't want to feel" Ed on business: "Starting a business is hard work" "Develop a taste for hard work and it gets easier" "Planning really pays off!" Ed on TTP "TTP supports alignment with your goal" "All models are wrong - the TTP model is useful" Ed on Now: "Living in the now promotes intimacy and growth. We plan in the now and we research past data in the now, we keep our commitments in now." Ed on Ed: "I am a freedom fighter - I set people free one at a time." Ed on managing money: "When managing money it is important to align risk expectations and have agreements that acknowledge these expectations." Ed on money: "If money gets important, you are pretty much finished." Ed on transfers: "You can transfer the skill, not the stomach lining." Sincerely, |
Thank you for this summary. Note: These sayings, like all sayings are, by nature, out of their original context. |
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Tuesday, January 11, 2011 Austin Workshop Feedback - Connecting with Son Ed, I am sitting in a middle of the room. I am looking at Ed. He is looking at me. There are aspiring traders, people who want to improve are all around to support me and support each other. I travel to Austin to work with Ed. Check. This is it. The room is nice. It is a typical meeting room comfortably seating about 25 people. On one side of the room are tables arranged in a big U-shape. On the other side are chairs arranged into two circles. We are all sitting in the circle part of the meeting room. Ed and I are sitting in the middle facing each other…. My hot seat experience really shook up mine inner core. Days after the hot seat experience I feel like my stomach is not mine anymore. My gut is radiating this strange energy. As if I have a ball of energy sitting in the middle of my body just radiating. The morning after the hot seat I am kind of unsure, I feel happy, then scared, confused- what is happening to me? - I wonder. I feel so different, so strange. I feel lonely when by myself, happy when around people. I share how I feel with Charles on the last day of workshop. He looks straight into my eyes, gently puts his hand on my shoulder and says "You've got what you came here for." What a great moment. I will always remember that. I felt very much confused....I wonder if he could sense that. On the way back from Austin I talk to people at the airports, on the planes. I connect with them quickly and have a great time. It is amazing. I make friends. I share with them how I feel and ask them how they feel. I think how cool it is to talk to people like that and to really listen. Coming home is great. My family is excited to see me. I am excited to see them. They are so great. My son is four. He pulls out a sticker book from the cartoon movie "Cars". It has empty pages with roads and race tracks in it where kids can put stickers of cars and tires, oil cans wherever they want. I remember to do this book with him on several occasions, always getting a little annoyed as he would put the cars in weird spots like in the sky, on top of the fence or he would put the stickers on one pile, everything seemed out of place. It looks different the night I come back. I can’t believe my eyes. How could I miss that before? There is a story on every page! And it is funny! Big accidents, cars getting thrown in every direction, traffic jams. These cars have faces - some smile, some look angry, some look sleepy. There is a lot of order in the way he arranges the stickers on the empty pages. I start talking through these imaginary stories and making noises of crashing cars and screeching tires. He is just laughing uncontrollably! We both are. I feel such a connection with him and just enjoying the moment. I could hear him in my mind "Cool Dad, you finally get it - isn't it funny, huh?” “Is that what is happening here?” I ask pointing to the page and he just says; “Yes”, while still laughing. We have such a great time. I see things different now. Thank you everybody for allowing me to learn from you and for supporting me. I set a great goal for myself at the Austin Tribe. I come home and start working on it instantly. I feel focused and so motivated. I commit to report on my progress to other Workshop participants - friends. As I do so, I receive a lot of support. I feel so grateful. I feel an infinite desire to support others. Sincerely, |
Thank you for sharing your experience. You might like this rendition of Father and Son, by Cat Stevens: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jek6iP6AuAQ |
