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Tuesday, May 31, 2011 Inducing Hypnosis with Dissonance Chief, At our last meeting I get to see yet another cool tool in Ed’s repertoire. For a while we discuss hypnosis and then a fellow tribe member volunteers to take a hot seat while being hypnotized by Ed. Ed investigates the issue the member would like to work on. Member mentions his relationship with his mother. He mentions feelings of resentment, humiliation, embarrassment and loneliness. The way I see his issue is he is always on guard in order to not experience certain feelings like humiliation and thus, he is missing out on creating deeper, fulfilling relationships. It seems that he would like to get to a place where he can have deeper and fulfilling relationships and still be able to maintain proper boundaries. The process begins with Ed telling the member to relax and asking two other members to speak close to the members ears. One member keeps says “Do it, go to sleep, go ahead and do it, do it….” The other member keeps saying “Don’t do it, don’t do it, and don’t go there……” Within minutes the member is in a state of hypnosis exploring his subconscious. He goes into a cold, dark place where he experiences fear and loneliness. He mentions the word torment. English is not my fist language and at that point I do not understand what that means. Tribe member begins to cry and I just observe the depth of the feelings he is experiencing. I look around the room and see twelve men sitting silently observing and supporting this beautiful process of a man on a path to free himself, make him a stronger, better person. With his willingness to work, our support, and Ed’s guidance, the moment is beautiful, almost magical. Ed supports the member in experiencing whatever comes up and makes gentle suggestions to the fellow member to welcome these feelings as his new allies. At some point the process runs its course and Ed leads the member back from the hypnotic state. When he wakes he is smiling and says “I love you, Ed.” His face is relaxed and joyful. I am curious to hear reporting from him about the changes in his life following this session. For me this is my last meeting I am attending. At the final checkout I share my sadness. The Tribe experience is truly great for me. I learned a lot from Ed and from each and every member. Before I meet Ed and join his Austin group I believe tribe work to be a very effective way of self-development and growth for individuals. I am always curious about why Ed doesn’t want this work to spread to more people by commercializing it like so many other “life coaches” do. Now I know that what Ed is doing is indeed the most effective way of assisting individuals to become free and powerful – one at a time – as he would say. At first I think – one individual at a time – how many people Ed can help to be free? But the exponential growth rules apply – I let you do the math. Like a growing tree Ed touches our lives and we in more or less effective way continue to do the same for others. With all seriousness now I think that Ed has a true potential to change how we all think on a very large scale and that is truly amazing. |
Thank you for sharing your process.
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Monday, May 30, 2011 TTP World - Visit to Brazil Dear Chief, The São Paulo’s tribe, Porto Alegre’s Tribe and Curitiba’s tribe are inviting you to visit Brazil. The SP tribe is active, but the members are just the leader (me). Occasionally I receive some e-mail to present the tribe and the process and I answer and meet with the person. The beginner’s members drop after 6 or 7 tribes. I know that one of the requisites is the tribe is running and the members have a history of reporting to FAQ, but without enough members we can’t not develop the process and report the hot seat and experience to FAQ. I really love to have a visit from you here in Brazil. Perhaps with your visit the ex-members and new ones can be interested and transform the SP tribe in a tribe with more than just the leader. I already contact ex-members of the tribe that show interest to participate in a tribe with your visit. Thank you for the really cool initiative. Regards, |
Thank you for your invitation. If any of the Tribes is up and running, with a history of contributing to FAQ, I am happy to visit. |
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Monday, May 30, 2011 Pain Budget Hi Ed, At the last tribe meeting you put a certain top notch actor under hypnosis. The result as I understand it was the tribe member was able to become acquainted with feelings that were very strong that he shied away from in the past. The word torment came up and was repeated several times and I felt a connection with this idea of tormenting yourself. I realized that this word torment resonated deeply with me and that it is my intention to torment myself. In fact I don't feel comfortable unless I'm tormenting myself. I have been tormenting myself for so long that if I don't torment myself it feels uncomfortable and I have to get back to the business of tormenting in order to feel 'normal.' I have thought a lot about this over the course of the last week and have come to the conclusion that this intentional structure with a default to feel pain and be tormented is just crazy. For the first time I am realizing that I can live a life free of self inflicted pain. I understand that I may still experience some pain as part of living a normal life. What's interesting is that deep down I feel that life is going to deliver me pain no matter what so if I inflict pain on myself somehow I have control and its better then letting go of control and accepting the unknown. This intentional structure is predicated upon the idea that pain is inescapable in life. Not only is it inescapable, but a certain specific amount will necessarily be experienced. So my intention is to torment myself with self inflicted pain equal to that amount and that feels good because I get to control when and how I do my suffering. Now if I let go of control and leave my pain to chance, that is very dangerous because there is a chance that I could go for a long time with little or no pain and then suffer a huge amount of pain all at once. If I let go of control and things played out this way I would have no pain tolerance and would really suffer horribly worse then I do now. My conscious mind thinks this pain quota is ridiculous but I can see this is how I feel and how my intention is structured so this intentional design and result is very real. This is the life I live. My goal is to give up being a tormentor towards my self and to stop enduring self inflicted pain, but I can see these are deep seated beliefs and I will need the support of the tribe to make this change. If I restructure my intention I know it will feel uncomfortable during those periods of my life where pain is absent and it will be my instinct to torment myself to create pain but I'm committed to accept uncomfortable periods in order to restructure my intention. Or maybe I could 'pay' my pain dues in other productive ways like doing community service? To be continued... Thanks Ed, you are the greatest! |
Thank you for sharing your process. | |||
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Monday, May 30, 2011 Daughter, Children as weapons, Co parenting agreement and defending boundaries Hi Ed Thank you for sharing your insights into my family dynamics in Daughter is out of control May 4, 2011. I notice that the “children as weapons” drama resonates with my own situation so I become aware of a lot of the dynamics occurring in my own situation. I think about my co-parenting agreement, which involves black marks, naughty spots and I should add smiley faces for good, helpful behavior. I see now that this is part of the control model. I try to discuss your reply and the intimacy model with my wife. I detect a strong unwillingness to discuss this. She is indifferent to the tribe work and does not agree to implement an intimacy based co-parenting approach. This may be to do with my awkwardness with the intimacy model and my inability to sell the intimacy based approach to my wife. We have fundamental differences of opinion, but I accept this, I am happy with my wife, she is a good mother and a good wife. I accept her for all that she is and all that she is not, so right now I am stuck with possibly a non ideal co-parenting agreement as sticking to the system is better than no system. I notice that I am unable to reconcile some problems that I see such as: 1) I notice that my children are constantly testing the boundaries as I believe all children do. I wonder how I can defend my boundaries and ensure my children respect the co-parenting agreement rules when sharing my feelings is not enough. In the animal kingdom for example, sometimes a growl is not enough and animals must be prepared to do battle to enforce their boundaries. This is a battle of wills and is fundamentally part of the control model. I wonder how I can ensure that sovereignty and rules are respected in the intimacy model, even when feelings are not respected? 2) I wonder how I can change our co-parenting agreement to implement an intimacy approach, which I would like to try, as well as accept my wife just as she is, which means accepting her strongly held control based approach. All of this feels as impossible as trying to make a carrot noise. On a brighter note, I commit to sharing my feelings without holding feelings hostage to manipulate my children. I commit to experience frustration, anger and tiredness. I commit to having as much patience as required with my children, even when experiencing these feelings. I notice that somehow, since this commitment, my relationship with my daughter has improved so much that we actually have fun doing her homework. My daughter still fights just a much with her brothers and I still remind them all I would like them to share feelings, occasionally they do, and I feel like punching the air “yes”. I notice that I still occasionally slip up, I try to fix others, but I do it less and I concentrate on receiving them more. I feel acceptance from the world. I feel like I’m making progress. I feel like I am moving forward and that good things are on the way. I am really looking forward to your visit. Warm regards |
Thank you for sharing your process. You might consider taking your feelings about <managing your children> to Tribe. Setting rules can be tricky business. Kids mostly do what they see you do, not always what you tell them to do. Rule setting can be an invitation to engage authority struggles. You might consider telling your kids (and yourself) the truth, namely: the rules are typically not there for their own good - they are there to protect you from them.
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Monday, May 30, 2011 Meeting on the Field Between Us Ed - I very much enjoy watching this TED video just now : http://www.hedyyumi.com/about-us/ted-talk/ |
Thank you for the clip. | |||
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Sunday, May 29, 2011 Until Death Do Us Part Dear Ed, I am in [City] keeping vigil with my sister who is in hospice care at the end of a difficult journey with a rare incurable sarcoma which has featured in my tribe work. I regret that it is unlikely I will be back in Austin in order to attend the final Tribe meeting, given the way things are going. The tribe has helped me to be effective and functional in this difficult situation. It has allowed me to understand and be more sensitive and attuned to the feelings others are presenting, and to be able to receive them. I am grateful for the opportunity which participating in the Austin Tribe has given me, and I thank you and the tribe for the encouragement and support, and for your generous hospitality. Sincerely, |
Thank you for sharing your process and for keeping your priorities on supporting your essential Tribe. | |||
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Sunday, May 29, 2011 Negotiating The Control-Intimacy Interface Dear Ed, In the last tribe session, I reinforce my knowledge of the intimacy centric model. If I want to apply it with a controlling person, I first check for willingness. I want to know if the other person is willing to receive and share feelings. If the other person is willing, I share feelings. When the other person shares feelings, I acknowledge them. When I check for willingness and the other person agrees, I am establishing a conscious agreement with the other person. Now, if the other person does not want to receive or share feelings, I just accept this. I acknowledge the other person’s decision. If I force somebody to receive or share feelings, I am not in the intimacy model anymore. I am in the control model. I believe the intimacy centric model is a powerful tool. It also comes with a responsibility. I am responsibly when I implement it. I know I want to have intimacy with the other person. I care about the other person’s feelings. If I use it to get something other than real intimacy, I am applying the control model. I have the option to choose between the intimacy or control model. Sometimes I choose the intimacy approach, other times I go back to the control model. I accept this. I know it requires practice and willingness to implement the intimacy approach. I notice that the more I practice it, the more I like it. Also, the more comfortable I feel with it. I see this as a positive reinforcement loop. In the last session, you use hypnosis to help a tribe member. I notice you check for willingness and validate tribe member’s responses. During the process, tribe member experiences fear and loneliness. He is able to make these feelings his allies. I have the impression tribe member gets a lot from this process. Next week, we have our last session. I realize the series is almost over. I feel a combination of joy and sadness. I look forward to our final meeting next week. Best regards, |
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Sunday, May 29, 2011 Preparing for Ed's Visit Hi Ed I wonder about your world tour. I can pick you up at Auckland airport. I wonder if how long you are going to stay? I wonder if you want me to make any arrangements for you and if your visit involves some pleasurable sightseeing? We can show you around if you would like this. There are only two of us here, and the Auckland tribe is very new, the two of us are meeting up for the first time this week. I wonder if you we can do something to prepare for your visit? I am nervous and afraid of meeting you and I don’t want to waste your time, but I already know that I will learn a great deal from your visit and I am looking forward to it. Kind Regards |
Thank you for your invitation. I envision attending a Tribe meeting, seeing some sights, and then off to the next location. I suppose that comes to two or three days in each place. I am also building some flexibility into the itinerary. |
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Saturday, May 28, 2011 The Foxworthy Intimacy Model Dear Ed, With the help of you and the tribe members, it’s getting easier for me to recognize when I’m operating in the control model instead of the intimacy model. A tribe member sums it up in the following statement: “If you are doing something that you don’t like, you are in the control model.” I notice how his statement strikes a cord with me. He sums it up quite well. I laugh at how simple it really is. It’s an AHA for me. Now when I find myself doing something that I don’t want to do, I recognize that I’m operating in the control model. When I find myself being frustrated, I’m in the control model. It’s like a Jeff Foxworthy “You might be a redneck” comedy skit only with the phrase, “You are in the control model.” If you ever find yourself embroiled in drama with (fill in the blank), then you are in the control model. If you ever find yourself trying to maintain a relationship that requires a whole lot of unpleasant work, you are in the control model. If you ever find yourself trying to make someone else feel a certain way, then you are in the control model. If you ever meet my mother-in-law… What makes this all the more weird for me is the realization that when I find myself in the control model, I can recognize it as me being in the control model and then recognize it as an opportunity for intimacy. I notice the intimacy road feels smooth and effortless; whereas, the control road has all the bumps. It’s like the highways that have little bumps separating the highway from the shoulder to wake up any drivers that might be falling asleep so that they don’t go off the road. I’m noticing those little bumps now as they occur in my life, and I’m paying attention to them as they let me know when I’m getting off the intimacy road that leads to right livelihood. I notice that now I’m becoming more and more OK with everyone else being exactly as they are and welcoming them for whatever very important reason they have for showing up in my life being exactly as they are. I notice that I’m getting a lot more hugs from my son and kisses from my wife. With love, |
Thank you for sharing your process and insights. | |||
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Saturday, May 28, 2011 Report from the Trance State Dear Ed and the Austin Tribe, I have a very deep experience at our Tribe Meeting. Ed hypnotizes me, and under hypnosis he leads me down a set of stairs, to a door, behind which there is important information for me. I open the door, the room is dark, I can’t see anything. I’m scared. I find feelings of hurt, humiliation, fear of death from emotional hurt and fear of aloneness in the room. With Ed’s voice guiding me in this altered state I’m able to co-exist with these feelings, to share this room with them. My eyes are closed the entire time. They’re wet, with tears coming down my face. I notice tingling all through my limbs and mild tetany in my hands. As I come out of hypnosis my body shakes. In my past it is my pattern to torment myself with feelings of past hurt. I don’t why, I have no idea. Now, I feel very sincerely that I just don’t care about that torment anymore. I don’t feel a need to hammer myself with my conscious mind. I don’t have a desire to do it nor to not do it. It feels more like disappearance. I also feel very low energy and I’m medicating myself, somewhat spottingly, with food. I feel down but not down about anything. I grieve. I grieve for the little boy that I was. In part of the process of putting me under Ed has two tribe members speak in opposing ears. One tribe member gives me encouragement to go under, to follow the hypnotism, repeating his encouragement over and over in my left ear. The other tribe member encourages me to resist, to hold on, to fight. It is this encouragement that somehow opens the door for me. It’s so real, it takes me back as a young child and coaching myself; hold on, resist, fight, don’t give in, just challenge me and I’ll show you how hard I can resist. This is how I learn to receive love. Without some emotional abuse I don’t trust it is love. This seems to be my pattern as a child. It is this part of the pattern of my early relationship with my wife that ‘hooks’ me. I feel sadness and grief and it feels good. This is a very effective process for me. This format of being lead to my feelings gives me courage to experience and co-exist with feelings at a level I did not know possible. I also take away from this what a huge and critical element deep, deep willingness is. I could have easily resisted the hypnosis. But, I was consciously willing. Yet it wasn’t until I got the encouragement to resist that at some unconscious level I felt safe enough to let go. This seems like a key principle in this kind of work. This is Ed’s gift and magic, knowing how to set it up and get it done. From the willingness I also gather some insight about the difference between bringing an issue to tribe vs. directing an issue at the tribe. Without the willingness it’s probably best to play elsewhere. I feel a deep connection with myself, with Ed, and with my tribe members. Sincerely, |
Thank you for sharing your process and for your willingness to "demo" the technique. | |||
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Saturday, May 28, 2011 Wants Tips Hello Ed, I am pleased to hear you are planning to visit tribes around the world and especially Europe. It's been a while since I last wrote something to FAQ. Last year when I made a tour through the USA (mainly the west) you were unfortunately on the move to Austin. Though the route we took included Lake Tahoe. In the meanwhile I wanted to open my own tribe, but after visiting one meeting at another tribe I changed this intention. To be honest I was a little scared at the meeting. Though I'm not an active tribe member you had a great impact to me. Especially your interview in market wizards, your TSP section and the endless columns in FAQ impressed and influenced me deeply. My proprietary software is still evolving and I intend do start actual trading by the end of the year. "Long" time ago I also wanted to extend the TSP section with you and made several tries but it seems to me that you didn't get to manage the program or were not able to give it a working structure and I got frustrated about mailing a few times and to not get anything done for it. If you are interested I would like to meet you in person. Just to meet a big idol of mine, show you the "Ruhrgebiet" if you like to and you are on your way from Berlin to Amsterdam. I would also be happy to show you my software that I programmed and that evolved after finishing the TSP software. And to be honest I would also like to get some "tips" what I could improve at my software or what field is worth investigating further. I hope you enjoy your trip around the world and to be honest I'm impressed that you do it. Think it will be exhausting but very exciting. Kind regards, |
The World Tour is in support of active Tribes. If you would like private consulting, see the terms at the bottom of the Ground Rules page. |
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Saturday, May 28, 2011 Operating Along The Control-Intimacy Interface Ed, During tribe you discussed how to handle control junkies that don’t understand the intimacy model: 1. Willingness testing. “are you willing …” Act according to the answer the other person gives. You must accept the answer and the other person. 2. Move forward and let feelings show. I take this to mean to always communicate through feelings. 3. Share feelings. When they share feelings, always acknowledge and receive their feelings. 4. Get clear agreements. So during the tribe session I wondered what being intimate is to me. I wrote down a list and I thought I would share them with FAQ: 1. Accept people where they are in life. If someone is not able to live in the intimacy model now, then accept them for where they are. Before the workshop in December, I certainly wasn’t intimate very often . 2. Check for willingness. If someone isn’t willing to share or receive feelings, then I can’t control them into sharing or receiving. 3. Accept their feelings when they do share them. 4. Everyone is a special person – now act like I know they are 5. Be willing to accept any outcome. I believe this is the hardest part of living the intimate life. If you aren’t willing to let the person make any decision they wish, then you are trying to control the outcome and them. You have to be willing to live in the unknown and like it! 6. Demanding answers by asking questions is control and disrespectful. Express curiosity and wonder about something and the other person can explain in more depth or simply choose not to discuss. Either way, I am supportive of the outcome. I am sure there are other ways to express being intimate with others but this is what is coming to mind. There is an aspect of the intimacy model that is hard to align with real life. I cannot support or accept others that do evil or hurt people. For example, it is not ok in my life to accept or support someone that physically hurts or kills someone. But I recall Ed saying all models are wrong and sometimes useful. This means that generally being intimate and accepting of others is helpful in making an enjoyable life. There is a time when I recognize evil and say this is wrong and be willing to set a boundary and stop the abuse. |
Thank you for sharing your process and insights. | |||
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Saturday, May 28, 2011 Hypnosis and Intimacy Ed, The tribe meeting was very interesting. It wasn’t our typical session yet was just as good of a learning process. In the last part of the session you discussed the things that can gained from hypnosis. Your style of hypnosis appears to me similar to TTP processes. I was very interested in the different trances people are in throughout the day. One of the most interesting aspects was your belief that we are in trances all day long. We just go into different trances. I purchased a few books on the subject and am reading up on NLP and hypnosis. Thank you for bringing this up to us. I was wowed by the hypnosis session that was done and believe the participant gained a lot from the session. I noticed feelings come up in me when you asked for those that wanted to volunteer for hypnosis. I raised my hand but then felt fear of being the center of attention and having my fellow tribe members see my fears. I realized still have a long path to trust people and be truly intimate with them. I know my fellow members are there to support me but I still struggle. I notice that many tribe members are getting a taste of just how good the intimacy model can be. It is such a good feeling that we are almost demanding others to be intimate with us. I realized I couldn’t expect others to be intimate with me since I just really learned what this is all about 6 months ago and likely could not be intimate unless I went through a tribe session. I am looking forward to our last session. In the previous month I was regretting that the end of our tribe was coming. Now I will miss the tribe though I am realizing it is time to implement and live a more productive life. I do hope to continue working and learning through a group like this. |
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Friday, May 27, 2011 Hypnosis and Sadness Dear Ed, I am fascinated by the hypnosis session at our last meeting. It's certainly much more elucidating to see hypnosis practiced live than to read about it. I continue to be open to using it for self improvement. We are now almost complete with our Tribe meetings, which I have mixed feelings about, including sadness and a sense of relief about not having to travel so much. It's really a great group, which reminds me of college - a fraternal environment with great guys from all over the world. I spend some time thinking about what I've accomplished and how I can use the technology to improve and meet my goals going forward. Thank you for sharing your work with us. I hope your garden is prospering and look forward to seeing your progress on it next week. |
Thank you for sharing your process. | |||
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Friday, May 27, 2011 World Tour: Sydney Dear Ed, I hope all's well with you & your family. I'm delighted to see that you are embarking on a world tour & planning another workshop. Since attending the Austin workshop, I have re-located to Sydney, Australia (a decision catalyzed by the workshop) & have joined the tribe here. We would be thrilled if you could add us to your list of destinations. It would be my great pleasure to facilitate this in any way (arranging accommodation etc.). Furthermore, Sydney is a beautiful city & I'd love to show you around. Best regards |
Thank you for your invitation. Sydney is now on the itinerary. |
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Thursday, May 26, 2011 An Authority on Authority Ed, You write in a FAQ, " I wonder what you call it when someone tells you to resist all authority - and you do it." It appears to me that doing this is not possible. By agreeing to resist, you would be submitting to a command by someone in authority. I wonder what the feelings are that causes a person to resist authority at times and at other times to willingly follow authority? I feel that at times it maybe that I don't want to feel controlled and sometimes I want to control the person in leadership. Also, I wonder if it could be a situation I don't want to be in ( a job, relationship, etc.) And I don't know how to handle the situation and I act out in a certain way. Thanks, |
Thank you for sharing your process and insights. | |||
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Thursday, May 26, 2011 World Tour Dear Ed, please send me more information about Trading Tribe World Tour in [Cities]. |
I am gathering information about the World Tour and Workshop on these pages. | |||
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Thursday, May 26, 2011 Amazon Tribe - Does Not Use The Time Concept Ed, I thought you may like to know there is another tribe out there ... http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-13452711 |
It's about time. | |||
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Thursday, May 26, 2011 Unresponsive Tribe Good Afternoon, This morning I send an email to the [City] tribe. Several minutes after I send the email I receive a failure to deliver notice from my email account. I send this email to you in order to bring the issue to your attention. Thanks! |
Thank you for the heads-up. Tribes come and go. When I detect one that no longer responds, I "grey it out" on the list. |
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Thursday, May 26, 2011 Austin Tribe Series Report Making Contact Easily and Naturally Dear Fellow Tribe Members, I notice during each of our meetings I become aware of new personal insights. I then employ these insights into my right livelihood during the following days. I feel a new freedom in communicating and relating to others. I find myself performing on a more intimate level. Then as the number of days progress since the last meeting, I find myself slipping back into older mental “habits”. Each meeting I re-progress further forward, say two steps, and then I eventually fall back a step and lose some clarity obtained during the prior tribe meeting. Overall, I am in a much better and capable place after the accumulation of meetings. Examples of my status: Since our last meeting, by random chance I meet a female jazz singer. She practices Buddhism and chanting. She is very aware, strongly present, and a real comfort to be around. We share an interesting evening and talk deeply. During one moment I ask her if she is willing to listen to my feelings. I converse and relate them with her simply and proficiently. I do so without hesitation because I know my feelings are important and real. She sees real strength in me too. She asks me for my phone number and email and volunteers hers to me before I can say yes. The next day I find her work on the Internet and her voice is very beautiful. I discover she is quite famous in the world, which doesn’t mean as much to me as the exchanges we shared. Last night, I happenstance into talking to another attractive woman. Starting from small talk, our conversation progresses to something more entertaining and with meaning. At one point I ask her if she desires a man who is the outlaw gunslinger type, or is she more looking for a Sheriff. She replies quickly – the Sheriff. Soon, she says she wants to give me her number, which she does, and then asks me for mine. I simply comply. I discover she is the lead singer in a country western band. I guess the characters in my question resonate with her. To summarize, before our tribe series together, I could not function in a productive manner to obtain a woman’s phone number “on-the-fly”. I did not know how to naturally behave around others very well, and anything I tried to “force” or “control” into happening usually didn’t. Now, I just share the moment with those around me in a “Tribe-Like” intimate way, without much filtering on my thoughts or feelings. I make contact with folks and am living in a way I did not know existed prior to our Tribe series. I thank each of you for helping me grow. |
Thank you for your sharing your process. | |||
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Thursday, May 26, 2011 World Tour Hi Ed! I saw you were planning a world tour for all tribes. We would be extremely happy to have you with us in the Stockholm tribe. We meet once a month and six people are attending the tribe more or less regularly, but at times we are only three during a meeting. I can feel it would be very beneficial for our work towards right livelihood! Best regards, |
Thank you for your invitation. Stockholm is now on the itinerary. |
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Thursday, May 26, 2011 Reverting to the Zero Point Dear Ed, I share a video of a "system" experiencing forms and reverting to the zero point with minimal lag. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9oxmRT2YWw I smile. Warm regards, |
Thank you for the clip. I wonder (and can't see) exactly what mom is doing during the cycles. |
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Wednesday, May 25, 2011 Trading Tribe World Tour Hi Ed, Our fixed-session New York City tribe has ended. However, our members agree to hold a special session for you if you happen to visit the Big Apple. Enjoy your worldwide tour. |
Thank you for your invitation. New York is now on the itinerary. |
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Wednesday, May 25, 2011 Children as Weapons Ed, I think a lot about your May 23 and May 24 items (below). Yes, I realize what I have been doing. It is ugly. I feel appalled about myself. I commit to stop using my children to medicate my feelings, to respect their independence and not to try to impose a model on them. I commit to assume responsibility for my feelings, and to accept my wife exactly the way she is. Maybe you can imagine or suggest a way to keep me accountable for my commitment. Yours, |
Thank you for sharing your process and your insights. Sometimes I fantasize about having world leaders with the kind of insights and humility you demonstrate in your email. I do not impose my views on contributors to FAQ, or volunteer to hold anyone accountable - other than to make suggestions in response to demand. You might consider taking your feelings about <accountability> to Tribe. |
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Wednesday, May 25, 2011 TSP Update Hi Ed, I just recently programmed simulations of the exponential crossover and support/resistance systems and matched your results. I notice that the TSP hasn't been updated in a long time. Any chance this may be continued in the future? I've found it very helpful so far. Thanks! |
Congratulations on the match. Let me know if you'd like to extend the work, under my supervision. |
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Wednesday, May 25, 2011 Finding Issues with Authority Ed, On May 4th the FAQ has this: I have been thinking a lot about intentions=results. I have noticed that i don't get the results i "intend". I make a resolution (for e.g., as simple as going to bed early, or starting research on my system) and i almost catch myself wandering off or not staying on task, or ending up going to bed much later than i would otherwise. It just struck me that the intentions that i make are my conscious intentions, but Fred has other plans for me. Fred's intention seems to be to WANT to stay up late, to WANT to wander from task. I guess i have to explore the feelings that Fred brings up as i take on my conscious intentions, but it has been very hard on my own. There is plenty of inertia simply at the thought of setting time aside for a self-hotseat. Thanks for the process and for the website. I hope you can see good entry points from my writing above. Ed writes: You might consider taking your feelings about <authority> to Tribe. This FAQ connects with me and I have been rereading and thinking about it. I look forward to learning about any issues I might have with authority. I believe now that i may have authority issues and want to explore this more. I wonder if it's possible to expound on how you found authority issues so easily in their short FAQ? I ask this since it seemed to resonate with me. Thanks for the FAQ so I can see myself in others, |
Lucky guess. I wonder what you call it when someone tells you to resist all authority - and you do it.
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Tuesday, May 24, 2011 Breathwork Hi Ed, thank you for updating FAQ section. During the previous days I log on to your website and see no updates. I feel slight anxiety and 'having no guidance' feeling. Over the last three months I travel around [Countries], helping around farms. Being close to nature and physical work helps me feel better physically and clear my mind. I realize that self confidence and self respect are all rooted in faith. By that I mean faith in oneself. I also realize I reach my conclusions by using a DIM-analytical process. As for the location of the Workshop in Europe, Berlin is the most convenient for me. I find some Rebirthing workshops in [City]. I wonder how is it similar to Grof's Holotropic breathing (the idea, not this specific workshop). All the best, |
Rebirthing, Holotropic Breathing and TTP Breathwork all utilize
hyperventilation. TTP Breathwork differs from other forms in various ways, including the creation of an interdependent Breathing Tribe, prior to the breathing.
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Tuesday, May 24, 2011 4:12 PM Feeling and Explaining Dear Master Ed, First of all I want to apologize for not sending my report for the last meeting. I don't like falling behind my commitments. I feel the meeting has a lower intensity, we are now working more towards using practical tools to overcome daily problems with the use of the Intimacy Model, I found these tools very useful, I want to put them in practice right now. I also notice that some of the tribe members are very happy with their progress others less so, but we have definitely moved forward as a group. I feel weird, last month I was in the right way to fulfill my goals and I was feeling strong, in a single month everything crashed and then some more. You suggest I am probably addicted to the drama and I am the one creating it, from what I know about the system model, I realize this is true. I send an email to my partner telling him how I feel and proposing a new deal, he appreciates my sincerity and receives me. He doesn't feel very comfortable with my initial proposal but he says that he is happy we are clarifying everything, I get the feeling that no matter what we decide at the end, it is going to be the best solution for both. I notice that telling people how I feel works better than giving explanations. My life has a lot of drama now, but I see that and accept responsibility, it is my intention to come back to Right Livelihood. During the meeting Ed also performs hypnosis, the work is very interesting, he mentions it is useful in certain kind of situations. I cannot stop thinking how cool being in a tribe is, I always get new insights. At the end of the meeting, [Name] says goodbye to everybody because he won't be in the next meeting, I notice I am very sad, I consider him a very good friend. I hope we will stay in touch. Thanks |
Thank you for sharing your process. | |||
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Tuesday, May 24, 2011 re: Children as Weapons Dear Ed, Thank you for your observations, which I appreciate a lot and give me a lot to think about. As I read your comments I am surprised. I don´t want to correct you or to justify me, I just want to share my view. If you think that I am trying to fix you or the situation, maybe you prefer not to read the rest of the email. Story 1: I recall doing the same years ago: expecting my oldest son to keep a secret and being angry at him as he does not. In the meantime I realize that children are children and do whatever they can, not what we expect them to do. I thought that this insight could be helpful for someone, and wrote my email. I don´t know if I am more compassionated than anyone. As my son runs to me, I am very happy that the little boy trusts me and surprised that he prefers me and not his mother to comfort him. I am happy that, this time, per chance, I yield the compassionate response. If I observe it been the other way (me shouting, my wife giving a compassionate answer, the little boy preferring her), I would also write a report. I want to report experiences as examples, not to be a hero. In fact, some FAQ readers told me that my reports of me being the villain were helpful for them. Story 2: I write it to share my pain about the fact of how far I am from intimacy and to share my ideas about a possible way to react to <anger> at the own children. Yes, my daughter opens up, I shout, she shuts down, I try to fix the situation. This is not intimacy, this is an old fart trying to fix his daughter and using her to sedate his feelings of <guilt> and <shame>. Per “using my children as weapons”: Yes, I reckon that I´d prefer my wife to be more open to our children´s feelings. I think that this kind of relationship is better for them. That is my motivation to work on my control issues. And if I see that I fail, like in Story 2, I feel anxious and confused. I have problems with my feelings about <my wife shouts at the children and controls them>. I cannot find the balance between “accepting someone the way she is and leaving her in peace” and “this someone harasses my children”. I think that with my previous email I opened, again, a huge can of worms. I appreciate any comment. Best regards, |
Thank you for sharing your process. You state you and your wife live apart and that you do not approve of your wife's parenting skills. You seem unwilling to accept your wife the way she is; you seem to prefer to fight it out in front of the kids, even using them as weapons. For now, you might consider seeing the children separately, so that they do not have to live in the crossfire - or try to resolve their parent's differences by hurting themselves. You might also consider getting some counseling from someone who knows how to create and maintain a win-win co-parenting agreement.
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Monday, May 23, 2011 Cool Videos Ed, Here are some cool videos (in my opinion) that show people going for it. http://www.videobash.com/video_show/ 8-year-old-jonny-mizone-22891 http://www.videobash.com/video_show/ people-are-awesome-5962 http://www.videobash.com/video_show/ did-he-just-play-a-trance-song-on-a-guitar-16306 http://www.videobash.com/video_show/ girl-shreds-on-guitar-5874 |
Thank you for the links. | |||
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Monday, May 23, 2011 Children as Weapons Dear Ed, I want to share an experience with you and the FAQ readers. Story 1: It is my oldest son´s 13th. birthday. As he sees the package with a gift, my youngest son (6 years old), who knows it, exclaims "It is an amplifier for your guitar." My daughter shouts "You are an idiot!". My wife exclaims "I will never tell you a secret again!" The boy is desolated. As he bitterly cries, I just tell him "no, you are definitely not an idiot, you are a very young child and you are still not able to keep a secret, and it is quite right to be this way." He embraces me. Some minutes later he is at the side of his mother an hits the corner of the table with his head. He starts crying again, in pain. But instead of looking for the closest person, his mother, for comfort, he runs to me and embraces me again. It seems to me that he trusts me more than his mother. Story 2: Some minutes later, my daughter mentions that she told a friend of her about me doing something tasteless. I feel <anger>. Automatically, I react to my anger and say "****". Basically, I am doing the same that my wife did with my son: criticizing, attacking her. My daughter does as she learned from us: she shuts down (mom) and leaves the room without comments (I). I observe again that <anger>, in an intimate relationship, should be a prompt to ask the other person about his/her intentions, and not to act out aggression. But this reaction is deep anchored in me. The next day I tell my daughter that there is something I would like to tell her. As she agrees to listen, I mention that I feel that my reaction, the previous day, was not correct and that I believe to understand her telling her friend about my tasteless behavior. She mentions that I got it right about the way she felt. She asks me not to talk about the incident anymore. The way to intimacy is long and winding. Best regards, |
Thank you for sharing your process. Story 1: You and your wife set up your youngest to feel like an idiot and then to hurt himself. You use the story to prove you are more compassionate than his mother. Story 2: You tell your daughter you are open to her feelings. When she believes you and shares something volatile, you yell at her and shut her down again. The next day you tell her you are open. She doesn't want to talk about it. You use the story to prove you are on the path toward intimacy. You might consider taking your feelings about <fighting> and <your marriage> and <using your children as weapons> to Tribe.
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Monday, May 23, 2011 Appearance of a Name Ed, You have someone's name on the item for May 6th 2011. |
Thank you for the catch. | |||
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Saturday, May 21, 2011 Holding Back Ed, I am a member of the [City] TT. I recently started a new fund and took to the hot seat my fear and discomfort with selling and raising money. I can't say that I am completely comfortable with selling yet, but the progress has been very noticeable. I feel much more at ease now, although I am still not where I want to be. I plan to go on the hot seat again to continue exploring what is holding me back. Any tips or thoughts? |
Thank you for sharing your process. You might consider taking your feelings about <holding back> to Tribe. |
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Saturday, May 21, 2011 Interactive System Dynamics Hi, Ed — I think you may find this demonstration of a system for seeing and tweaking dynamic systems interesting... http://vimeo.com/23839605/ |
Thank you for the link. The Lotka-Voltera predator-prey model is pretty neat, appears in a lot of college courses and does not fit the data very well. |
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Saturday, May 21, 2011 European Workshop Dear Mr. Seykota, I have been reading about you and your trend following methods for the last 10 years with admiration. After 10 years of my search for the holy grail and loosing approximately £30K in the process, I now recognize fully that successful trading is all about being committed to a robust system in hand, managing risk and waiting patiently for the chickens to come home to roost. I would love the opportunity to attend one of your workshops if you have got any planned in the UK. Yours sincerely, |
Thank you for expressing your interest. | |||
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Saturday, May 21, 2011 Geography Lesson Hi Ed I'm so glad that you've added India to the itinerary! Thanks!! I notice that you've listed it after Melbourne, Australia but before Singapore. If you intend to move from East to West without back-tracking, then you may consider listing it after Singapore and before Berlin, Germany. I look forward to your trip. |
Thank you for helping me get the "kinks" out of my flight path. |
