November 3, 2011

TTP Report from Berlin

Hello Mr. Seykota,

Please find enclosed my first TTP Report from my trip to Berlin.

It is really exciting to see the process and find out that it works just how I read on FAQ.

I hope you update your Tribes list, so I after getting some experience I can start a tribe a little closer.

All the best with the farm.

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There are four of us at the meeting. Because of the setting there can be no drumming so we begin with check-in.

After check-in, since this is my first time, the Process Manager (PM) suggests we start with exercises as described in the book.

The exercises are ‘Tell me what are you thinking, now’, ‘Tell me what are you feeling, now.’ and ‘Show me what are you feeling now’. This seems awkward at first and I find myself planning what to do. Then I realize there is no sense in planning as it is not possible to know what will I think or feel in 2 minutes or even 2 seconds. I find the exercise very useful to stay in the now moment. Also there is a kind of freedom in just telling and especially showing whatever comes to you. The sense of freedom also comes from validation. Whatever you say or do, the person listens and watches intensively – receives – and sums it with ‘thank you’.

After the exercises we begin with introducing our subjects. As the round goes, [Name] starts demonstrating form while telling about not being open enough toward other people. She rubs her throat and the PM immediately encourages her to intensify it. She does and the PM validates that. After returning to the story another form emerges - this time it’s waving her hand in circles. The PM picks up on that as well and again offers validation. After that [Name] starts to have a cold feeling in her upper stomach and PM tells her to intensify it. I don’t know if it is autosuggestion but I start feeling this as well. She remembers that as she was a little girl, she hid herself in the garden so that no one could find her. In that way she was feeling secure. And now she does the same by hiding in herself. PM asks her to imagine a version of herself that does not hide from people and says that this is only the choice she is making. Then asks her if she can make that choice and become more open. She says “I want to try”. “If this is what you want” says the PM. Then is hits me with clarity, that by saying that she actually wants TRYING. And by hiding herself inside what she actually gets is – she ‘is trying’ to be open. PM suggests that her security is just an illusion. It is just like a ship anchored in midst of a storm. The anchor does not offer security. It is when the anchor is cut and the ship can go up and down at one with waves, when it is really free.

We proceed with check-out and continue with [Name 2] who seems to have problems with his girlfriend. He goes into form immediately which strikes me as this is my first time with TTP and I have never seen that before. He puts his hands against his face, which becomes red as it was about to explode. His whole body moves as in convulsions in a demonstration of rage and desperation, his eyes well up. This lasts for 2-3 minutes and is totally encouraged and validated by the PM. Then his whole body calms down like after a storm and he is clear and calm. He starts breathing deeper. The PM suggests that he might be fighting the situation as indicated by his forms. It might be about his expectations toward his girlfriend and not accepting her as she is. It is when he tries to manage or control her and fails that he gets the feeling. The PM offers another metaphor that I like: when you go around town and want to eat pizza, it is no use to get angry in a sushi bar, Indian restaurant or a kebab place that they don’t sell pizza. You can either accept what they offer or look further for a pizza place. You also might end up going around hungry the whole evening.

We proceed with check-out and continue with me. My subject is my relationship with my father. I constantly have a feeling of being under his control and have difficulty with standing up for myself in conversations with him. I proceed with storytelling, being very analytical and showing no specific forms until PM picks up on my stomping of right foot. He encourages me to do that more and validates it as I do. It is the first time I experience validation of form personally and now understand the importance of it. The TTP is a very unusual experience and you need that validation to feel intimacy and freedom to do whatever you want and to develop forms properly. Without this acknowledgement you might start going back into your head which probably interrupts the process. I make a mental note to myself to validate forms of others by next processes.

After that PM asks me what to I feel when I want to disagree or stand up against my father. I feel fear that demonstrates in sweating and tingling of skin on my back skull. I also stop breathing. PM asks [Name 2] to play the role of my father. He goes into it perfectly and I have difficulty of looking him in the eye and holding up my end of the discussion. I answer “No” to one of the questions and I feel fear but after that it starts to pass as if just saying it was causing it to dissolve. After 3-4 minutes of talking I ask how can I convince him that I know what is good for me. The PM offers that I have no obligation to convince anyone. This is true. Apparently I want either to please my father or prevent him from being sad or mad.
After the role playing I start to feel a stone in my stomach. It is cold and gray. Prompted by the PM I make it bigger and colder and after some time it loses its coherence and dissolves. Then PM asks me to feel the fear again. I sit on the edge of the chair and put crossed arms on my knees. My body sort of takes that position voluntarily, I don’t plan it. I start staring at a point on the floor about one meter in front of me. Then I start shivering and sweating. Tears come up to my eyes. All this happens by itself, I don’t force it. Then I remember that I sat like this before. I don’t remember the exact age but I remember brown window curtains and know that it is the room of the apartment I grew up in. I am alone in this room but feel this fear, maybe because something is happening in the apartment.

After sitting like this for a while the feeling starts to dissolve and my breathing comes back. With some deeper breaths the feeling dissolves completely and I feel lighter. I know now that the feeling I have is the one I carry since I was a little kid. It is not rational, but it’s just there. Unwillingness to feel that fear might be why I decide not to oppose to my father even now. The PM offers that I share my feeling of fear with my father. I want to do that.
After we relieve each other from the role play, we go to check-out. The time does not allow us to deal with PM’s subject and he decides to end the meeting. Again because of the setting we skip the drumming part.
***
As someone said reading about TTP and actually doing it is like reading about sex and actually doing it. I learn a lot about myself and others just in one meeting. It really works. I especially like the use of forms which seem a way more direct way to psyche than hours of talking. I don’t think a book or meditation – however important – can lead to this kind of insights. It is the receiving, acknowledgement and validation of a group, combined with managing a process that can achieve it.

Another very important aspect of TTP is receiving. How often do you have a complete attention of people around you without them interrupting, asking questions or offering judgments. Never. And by receiving you learn to listen and become more sensitive to more subtle ways of communication.

I wish there was the drumming in the beginning and end as I feel it might introduce a ‘common vibration’ for everyone. It might be useful afterwards as well, to create a kind of a ‘seal’ to the meeting.

November 6, 2011

Come to Cairo

Hi Ed,

I am a big fan and I really hope you come to Cairo.

I will be glad If I could attend one of your workshops.

November 7, 2011

Wants to Study

Hello Ed,

I have read a lot about you and as anyone who can spot something which is truly different to what we come across in our day to day lives, I am truly overwhelmed. I currently run a macro equity fund and have a background in aeronautical engineering and as a tech analyst on Wall St. I always have sought "the truth", and find Wall St. as a circle of buy and hold drama where everyone in the system just keeps hoping for an upward sloping market.

Reading about you and your approach and what I have been discovering through my own research on charts further proves to me that a completely unemotional "ride with the waves" approach is the best way to play the game of speculation.

I would be indebted deeply if you can take me as a student.

Best,

November 8, 2011

Working on Website

Hello Ed,

I see the FAQ is on pause, I hope it is because you are enjoying too much playing Banjo with your band!

Since my last trading tribe workshop, I am working on a "successful" website in France and I am launching it here in the US.

I also did my homework by developing, backtesting and trading my trend following system.

I want to present my results to hedge funds managers in New York but you never covered the part about "presenting the results" in TSP.

Since you are also part of the trading tribe, I want you to tell me if this material is good enough to land an interview with a money manager. 

Cheers,

PS: I attach a souvenir of the trading workshop (nice t shirt ;)

November 9, 2011

Blast from the Past

Hello Ed!

Most people you have not seen in 30 years you probably won't remember - but I think you will remember me!

One sunny day in November, about 1982 or 83, in Encinitas CA, eying up your big red limo, I rang your buzzer, and you and I engaged in a delightful conversation about Synclavier synthesizers ( I had one) and who knows what else.

It culminated in you offering to play chauffeur, complete with red jacket and hat :-))) and we proceeded to go to the San Diego and pick up me wee mom, completed with sax player, and birthday cake. She talked about that birthday for the rest of her life! (Actually I bet I have a picture somewhere, I will look to see if I can find it).

A near stranger, you rose to the occasion to make one little lady and my dad as well - feel like the most important people on earth. For that, I will be eternally grateful.

You were a cool dude then and I see that you are still playing your banjo and still cool as ever!

I don't have the Synclav anymore - but I have a kurzweil and a rolland. No 16 tk on 2 inch, but an big fat apple tower and MOTU. A little music every day is a part of my life still, like you, it seems - I saw the Whipsaw song :-)))

Lots of interesting water as flowed under the damn, and it would be fun to catch up! My path led me around the world a few times on great adventures. And yes, the inspiration is that I am starting to trade currencies, but I think there is lots of more things that would be shared.

I remain, forever grateful,

BTW, Ed, I pick a pretty mean set of guitar strings too... should we find ourselves in the same neck of the woods...

November 9, 2011

Visit New York

Hi Ed,

I wonder if this is familiar. I also wonder when you plan to visit NYC during your travels.

November 11, 2011

Boulder Tribe

Dear Ed,

I've just learned of the TTs via Michael Martin and his new book.

Upon review of your TT website, I see that there is/was a Boulder, CO TT group.

Does 'not responding to inquires' mean that this Boulder group is closed to new members or that it no longer exists?

Thanks in advance,

November 12, 2011

Wants to Attend a Tribe Meeting

Hi Ed,

I want to attend a Trading Tribe meeting here in Austin. About four years ago I bought your book and read it and shared many principles with my wife – periodically we recognize seasons where are need to enhance our discipline in observing some of these principles and we find more joy in our lives when we do this.

Please let me know if there are any prerequisites prior to first attendance (am aware of requirement for on-going attendance), or other pertinent information.