April 20, 2013

Workshop Information

Hi Chief,

I am about to send you a question about how to send payment for the workshop, before I find out this on the workshop link: "Early bird price offer for applications with payment by check, with postmark on or before April 30, 2013". I almost miss the early bird rate and become an early worm, when waiting for some registering instruction.

I am about send another question about mailing address: I don't see it on the workshop link.

I am waiting for the special room rate to come out.

Thanks,

April 20, 2013

How to Complain

Ed,

I have recently discovered your FAQ column. I enjoy reading about feelings and relationships, and I especially like the notion of "intimacy-centric" communication.

I am having a problem and I'd like to receive some feedback.

My boyfriend has a habit that bothers me.

I have tried to let him know that I mostly feel very happy with him, but what I want is a sign that he is willing to make an effort to care about something that is important to me (breaking his habit).

I wonder if I am asking too much, or if I have to ask more directly. I believe he cares about me, but it does leave me feeling unheard, if not uncared-about.

I wonder how to "complain" more effectively, in an intimacy-centric way!

Sincerely,

Friday, April 19, 2013

Workshop Early Bird

Ed,

I see the price for the workshop and it states early bird price. I wonder when the early bird special price is over? Also, I wonder what is the price for humans since we know the fee for early birds?

April 19, 2013

Wants to Confirm Site Active

Mr. Seykota,

Is your www.seykota.com/tribe website still active? I noticed the copy write is only from 2005-2009 but you recently posted a work shop for Sept. 2013. Reason why I ask because I would like to purchase your book but I wanted to make sure the site is still active and that I will receive the material once purchased. Thanks!

April 18, 2013

Boundaries and Bullies

Hi Ed,

I recall hearing something along these lines before.

"Boundaries eliminate the temptation to bully. State them early and often and don't alter them and believe it or not, the client will be happier as well.

They didn't sign up to ruin your life. They signed up to get the most they could from you and your team, and the limits are the limits."

-- Seth Godin

http://goo.gl/sVvF4

Regards,

April 17, 2013

Page Layout Issue with IE 8

Ed,

Per the reader who has trouble with the page layouts (below), I have had this experience in looking at your FAQ pages with Internet Explorer but not Safari or Firefox.

To test, I just now looked up FAQ on Explorer and, while not as condensed as the screen shot you posted, it was definitely messed up and very difficult to follow. Check it out yourself, and if it consistently occurs you might want to warn readers not to use Explorer for FAQ.

Wed, April 17, 2013 at 6:25 AM

Sofia Bulgaria Trading Tribe

Dear Mr. Seykota,

I want to apology for late update but i had some medical issues here.

So Trading tribe Sofia is alive and we are growing in number of members currently more than 20 people have attended our meetings. We conduct regularly meeting on Sundays discussing markets , particular trading problems, system trading and lot of psychology issues.

I hope you are well and i want to invite you to visit Sofia if you plan any European tour.

Best regards,

April 17, 2013

Big Pig

Ed,

You might like this photo of a cute little Texas pig - near the town of Cut and Shoot, TX. We call them Piney Wood Rooters. They're all over Georgia, Alabama, Arkansas, Texas, Florida, and other states.

Piney Woods Router

April 17, 2013

If You Please

Hello Ed,

I am aware that I am responding to both you and the other FAQ contributors with emotions that feel significant to me. I decide to go ahead and share my feelings even though I am embarrassed to be exposing my fears and insecurities.

I read almost every post with interest and openness. I attempt to write my posts from the heart and to be as open as I can, again, writing so honestly that I might feel embarrassed.

I believe that holding back due to fear of judgment just hinders my personal growth (but anonymity makes it a lot easier!). I wonder what the others think of what I write. When they reference one of my posts I feel gratified, like I have made a difference to them.

My last post tells everyone about my working directly with a judge from my past after I notice I am angry at another contributor for judging my feelings about watching porn. Ed's response feels dismissive to me, like he phoned it in ("Thank you...[get] a Tribe").

I notice myself feeling hurt, almost ashamed, then pouty and vowing not to write to FAQ anymore ("you can't fire me, I quit!"). I momentarily regret having revealed so much of myself, I suppose I think that should always be "rewarded".

I feel that I have not pleased Ed, the Chief, and am forced to realize how important this is to me. Once again I follow these feelings back to an earlier time when they were first experienced, trying to win my father's approval and feeling that I never quite got there.

My father loved me, I have no doubt, but as I think of him now I see that he has trouble showing his love in a demonstrative, emotional and physical way. No touching, hugging, "pats on the back". He is an electrical engineer. He asks what questions I missed when I proudly present him my test score of 98. He stands behind me when I practice the violin to help spot my mistakes (of course, he himself is not a musician). I start playing the violin at age 9 with great joy, and do very well, but within three years I can't wait to quit. And I do.

I am working very hard to free myself from these emotional time warps that leave me feeling small, insecure, unworthy, and anxious. I find TTP to be a compelling way to release some of the (formerly) invisible ties that bind me. I am not going to quit.

I intend to do what ever it takes to find or start a Tribe. I will report my results as I create them.

Sincerely,

April 17, 2013

FAQ - Screen Weirdness Issue

Ed,

I am attaching two screen shots from my Dell Dimension E510 computer running Windows XP using IE 8. I also view FAQ using Google Chrome version 26 and FAQ looks great. I suspect there might be an IE 8 compatibility issue.

Thanks so much,

View Using IE8 / XP on Dell E510

April 17, 2013

Dealing with Volatility

Dear Ed,

I find this is an excellent video which epitomizes what trend following and robust systems trading might be about:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=
ByGSMmenPDM&feature=player_embedded#!

I imagine the "operators gut" is perhaps the most important component in this system and in navigating the treacherous environment.

Thank you for your teachings. I notice feelings of excitement, joy and gratitude watching this video despite the fact that I am going through the wringer in my life at the moment. A bit like the operator in the video.

Regards,

April 16, 2013

I'd Like Some Punch, Please

Hi Ed,

Wrote this FAQ a few months ago and did not send.

Awaited the formation of tribe for nearly two years then two tribe members call on same day. I receive encouraging e-mails from [Name] throughout waiting time. We meet and Sacto tribe is formed. [He] joins recently and we have a five member tribe.

Last tribe meeting I take the hot seat for second time. We drum and check in. We perform TT exercises from TT book; what are you thinking, how are you feeling, show me your forms. this is second time performing exercise and tribe members show more emotion than last time.

I agree to hot seat. i stroke and massage my finger, then feel tightness in my leg, then tightness in my back and i begin to massage it. I get on all fours and extend my leg. I'm beginning to get into my form and tribe is encouraging me and drumming. I get into my anger and begin to slowly punch the floor. PM encourages me with, be a bull, go for it.

I punch and hammer fist floor. I'm aware that tribe members are moving away from the circle in fear. I pound more until the anger subsides then i hunch over and place head on knees and rest.

Reflecting on my process I feel a bit embarrassed at strong show of emotion. Tribe member mentions he was awaiting remorse toward end of my form. I think about this and feel my remorse muscle may need toning.

April 16, 2013

More on Pesky Kids

Ed,

As I read "Those Pesky Kids" I wonder how the parent might feel about being told what time to go to bed, go to work, trade a stock, file tax return, make love to spouse ...

While learning to manage my life there is lots of room for learning experiences. I find my children and grandchildren are excellent teachers.

The public school system is not tolerant of children who march to a different internal clock. Some of my children and grandchildren tend to be afternoon people and like to "sleep in" and work 3-11pm or all night. They just naturally feel more alert later in the day.

As a cheerful "morning person" I experience difficulty understanding and waking them up for school.

Some of the learning strategies that work for afternoon kids are core curriculum classes later in the day and after school tutoring by family, professionals and siblings. Sometimes the eyes are open but the brain is not awake yet.

April 16, 2013

Those Pesky Kids

Dear Ed,

I am really struggling with my children lately.

I have had some success with receiving their feelings and sharing my feelings, but I have encountered an obstacle that I haven't managed to figure out yet.

I notice that often I would like to meet certain deadlines, such as the children going to bed at 8 O'clock, or to start school at 8:30 am.

I notice that as the deadline approaches I share my feelings of wanting them to go to bed or get ready for school. I notice that they tend to ignore me and then my blood starts to boil. I don't want them to be late for school and I want to get on with my personal work after they are in bed.

Eventually, things come to a head, I run out of time and patience, I erupt in anger, I resort to a control rock, forcing them to get ready or go to bed. This ends up in a full blown drama with screaming, crying, me full of regret, feeling dirty etc and us being late anyway. I don't know any other way. I don't know what to do!

This drama replays itself repetitively over and over.

I sense that somewhere, things are going horribly wrong. I don't want my children to suffer. I only want the best for them.

Perhaps the children are just copying me.

Perhaps I am not properly receiving their feelings of wanting to stay up late or be late for school, but I feel pulled in two directions, obligated also as I have a duty to care and do what's best for them, which is to go to school and to make sure they get enough sleep.

I have told them this before I erupt in anger.

I wish they would listen to me. I don't know how to get them to do what I need them to do without resorting to the control rock.

I wonder if you can help?

I am desperate.

Yours sincerely,

April 15, 2013

TTP Helps Trading

Easy Ed,

I almost (but never do) gave up periodic checks of FAQ over the last couple of years, but was truly pleased to see it up and running again when I just happened to look today, while trying to stay with some emotional short positions.

Your psychological development /coping work, has helped my trading more than anything else that I have ever done, and I wish to sincerely thank you again.

I do trust you are all settled in down in Texas now, are pickin' and a grinnin' even better than ever and hope to see you again someday soon...

All the best,

April 15, 2013

Tribe Report

Hi Ed,

I am from the Sacramento Tribe. Thank you for the Trading Tribe Process. The following is my submittal to the FAQ.

TTP started with drumming. I really enjoy the drumming, it brings my thoughts to the present, to hear the sounds I make and to synchronize with the drum beats of the other members. Sometimes I think I can hear the tribe member's emotions in their drum beat.

We close our eyes for a couple of minutes before check-in, it allows me to inspect any sensation in my body. I told the tribe I feel hungry in my stomach, because I just started a feed-day / fast-day diet and it happens to be a starving day. I also feel a tingling sensation on my knees and calves. And I feel a heaviness in my forehead.

I had an argument with my wife in the morning and told her I feel being attacked. I already know that statement was not sharing my feelings but an attack on her. I know how I should share my feelings next time, but I told the tribe I am willing to be on the hot seat to explore the issue.

After all members checked in. A member shared with us information about the rocks process from Ed and also urged us to write to the FAQ. That writing is part of the TTP process.


I asked the tribe, it seems the rocks process is to trace our current unhelpful response back to some childhood trauma. I described 2 of my earliest childhood memories which I think are significant. Can we just go to these memories, reenact them with alternate, more helpful responses. Would this resolve current and future emotional issues? The tribe do not think so.

Then we started the hot seat / rocks with a members who is ripe for the process. She has an intense feeling of being abandoned. She already traced her feeling back to her earliest childhood experience, while she started to describe her experience , some tribe members encouraged her to go into her forms and she went into it very quickly, crying, poking her chest right below her collar bones.

After this intense outburst, she completed her story, her current companion has to leave to take care of his daughter who is having cancer surgery the next day. He may or may not come back. The member said she wanted a permanent relationship but her previous long term relationships always ends up in separation. She was abandoned by her husband when she was a young mom with their first baby.

One member was openly discussing which of her life events to re-enact. The visiting member was testing if she is willing to experience the feeling again. I and another member said that she has already experienced the feeling. ( Why the question?). The member said she is not willing to go back to that feeling again after she just been there.

The visiting member suggested that the feeling of being abandoned may be "working" for the member and asked her to enjoy the feeling. The member said that results equal to intention, may be the feeling is what she wanted, also the freedom without a permanent relationship. I saw so much similarities of adult relationships problem as that described in the "Attached" book by Amir Levine, that I offered advice, for her to read the book.

I wish we have designated a process manager so not everyone is speaking to the sender and deciding how to proceed and not able to complete the rocks process leaving her unsettled with 'loopy" feeling.

I also think we may have started encouraging her into her forms too soon before she had the chance to give us more of her story. And I gave an advice - which take away from the process, I think from now on I would only do that in the checkout process. I also feel we jumped over to the next rocks process too soon.

A member who experienced the sensation of ants crawling all over his body after a trading day was the next hot seat. We encouraged his forms and he was into his feeling quickly. I am wondering why others seem to be able to go to their feelings so quickly.

The visiting member, acting as the Process Manager, asked the member to freeze it and asked him if he recall a prior occasion when he had the same feeling. The member related an occasion when he was 19, deeply in love with a girl, he used his college money to purchase an engagement ring, the parents cancelled his check without telling him, so he was embarrassed in front of his girl friend when he went to the jewelry store to pick up the ring.

His first meeting with his parents after the incident at his grandma's place was the first time he experienced the ants crawling all over his body sensation. Process Manager asked a reenactment of the scene with parents and grandma. After the first reenactment, the Process Manager asked if the scenario is accurate, the member said Mom's reaction need to be amplified.

We reenact the scene again and this time the member agree that it was close to what happened. Then the PM asked if the member would allow him to play the member in yet another reenactment.

The PM demonstrated an alternative response of acknowledging the anger and the protective intention of the parents. Then he requested the parents to let him share his feeling and his side of the story. The PM asked the member to reenact the scene again with the PM coaching with the new response. Then we have the checkout. Then the member released us in our roll and then we did the process checkout. No physical rocks is involved, but the whole process went off smoothly. I am really curious how this new insight to an earlier trauma would help his current trading.

At the checkout, we all agreed that it was a very intense meeting, we covered a lot of grounds and excited about the possibility that Ed may be visiting our tribe.

I express regret that we seem to left the first hot seat / rocks process incomplete. I saw that there is a theme of the recent rocks process, that one of the new tools is to share one's feelings. The visiting tribe member said that sharing one's feelings is a very powerful tool and can be used to manipulate other person.

I am looking forward to the next tribe meeting. I want to hear how the rock's process affect the trading activities of the members. I am committed to feeling my emotions and to eliminate the fear of sharing. This FAQ submittal is one of the action to overcome the fear of being ridiculed. For the next meeting I would propose that we designate a process manager before we begin each process.

April 15, 2013

Women Prefer Tribe Members

Ed,

You might like to know about a study that confirms women prefer men who understand heir emotions.

http://www.livescience.com/18843-women-understanding-emotions-relationships.html

April 14, 2013

Euler - 360th Birthday

Ed,

Ed restarts posting to his FAQ on 6 Mar 2013 with a response that includes Leonhard Euler's classic formula, a mathematical formula that establishes the deep relationship between the trigonometric functions and the complex exponential function. Euler's formula can produce some pretty amazing patterns when plotted on a Cartesian grid, as below on a graphic of Euler's formula found on Wikipedia. I feel jerk in my chest as my eyes trace the path of that roller-coaster like function!

Graphic for Euler's Formula

Wikipedia

Euler is considered to be the preeminent mathematician of the 18th century and one of the greatest mathematicians of all time. Today (15 April 2013) is his 360th birthday. Perhaps your readers may be interested in a brief biography of Leonhard Euler.

Leonhard Euler is born on April 15, 1707, in Basel, Switzerland. His father Paul is a friend of the Bernoulli family. Johann Bernoulli, regarded as Europe's foremost mathematician of the time, becomes the most important influence on young Leonhard. At the age of thirteen he enrolles at the University of Basel, and in 1723, receives his Master of Philosophy with a dissertation that compares the philosophies of Descartes and Newton. At this time, he is receiving Saturday afternoon lessons from Johann Bernoulli, who quickly discovers his new pupil's incredible talent for mathematics.

At 20 Euler moves to St. Petersburg to take a position at the Imperial Russian Academy of Sciences, despite his father's desire that he enter the priesthood. Four years later political turmoil in Russia forces Leonhard to leave Russia to take a position at Berlin Academy in 1741. He lives in Berlin for 25 years, where he writes over 380 articles. By 1766, the situation in Russia improves greatly and Euler accepts an invitation to return to the St. Petersburg Academy and spends the rest of his life in Russia. However, gradual eyesight deterioration in his right eye and a cataract in his left leave him blind in that same year. Even so, his condition appears to have little effect on his productivity, as he compensates for it with his mental calculation skills and photographic memory. For example, Euler can repeat the Aeneid of Virgil from beginning to end without hesitation, and for every page in the edition he can indicate which line is the first and which the last. With the aid of his scribes, Euler's productivity on many areas of study actually increases He produces on average one mathematical paper every week in the year 1775. Euler dies of a brain hemorrhage on 18 September 1783.

Euler conceives and popularizes several notational conventions through his numerous and widely circulated textbooks. Most notably, he introduces the concept of a function and was the first to write f(x) to denote the function f applied to the argument x. He also introduces the modern notation for the trigonometric functions, the letter e for the base of the natural logarithm, the Greek letter Σ for summations and the letter i to denote the imaginary unit. Euler also popularizes the use of the Greek letter π to denote the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter. Euler is the only mathematician to have two numbers named after him: the immensely important Euler's Number in calculus, e, approximately equal to 2.71828, and the Euler-Mascheroni Constant γ (gamma) sometimes referred to as just "Euler's constant", approximately equal to 0.57721. Euler's influence on mathematics is perhaps best summarized by Pierre-Simon Laplace, who is believed to say, "Read Euler, read Euler, he is the master of us all."

Sources: Wikipedia; Google

April 14, 2013

San Francisco Trading Tribe

Ed,

My tribe serves more than traders. One significant insight I take away from IV TT is that we all have the same feelings--and the same way of acting out our dramas--regardless of what we do for a living. My intention is to make TTP available to people in my industry.

April 14, 2013

Sweat

Sir,

I first heard about The Trading Tribe from a friend over 10 years ago. He told me the Tribe changed his life. I considered him a good friend but the little I knew of his home life was that it wasn't ideal. My friend said that the Tribe helped him mend his relationship with his family. It has been over 10 years but based on what I remember him telling me about how the Tribe helped him, I wonder if you can help me.

I suffer from emotionally driven hyperhidrosis. I sweat when I get mad, embarrassed, or anxious. If I have to public speak or lead a meeting a work, you can bet that that my head and face will breakout into a ferocious sweat. I haven't been this way my whole life, it started it my early 20s after I graduated college.

Well, a long journey of trying to conquer the sweating I find myself here. Is the Tribe something that can help me? Thank you for your time.

April 14, 2013

Second law - Expanding on Radial Momentum

Ed,

On your Radial Momentum page, you state that "the molecules of a radially expanding fluid, once set in radial motion, tend to stay in motion and maintain the total Radial Momentum, until some force acts on the individual elements. Once fluid molecules start expanding radially, Radial Momentum keeps these molecules expanding into larger and larger volumes ... and the result is that the density and the pressure both fall…"

From this it is clear that the "arrow of time" is in the direction of decreasing density and pressure and (presumably) increasing entropy, since if we watched a movie of this process, we could easily tell if the movie were being run forward or in reverse, based on our real-world experience.

As you point out, the sole driver of this process is the law of inertia, Newton's first law of motion. However, physicists have denied this obvious conclusion for a century and a half based on Loschmidt's paradox (see Wikipedia for a succinct description). This paradox is illustrated by exactly reversing the velocities of the molecules at some time t1 = t0 + ∆t (don't ask me how) and observing that the molecules return to their original positions at t2 = t0 + 2∆t, similar to the reversal demonstrated in the ideal gas simulation I sent previously. Now if that's all there is to it, Loschmidt was right, since the law of inertia works perfectly well in both directions. (Note that if we were to continue to reverse the system at intervals of ∆t we would generate an oscillatory system symmetrical with time.)

However, what has been almost universally overlooked is that the second law as it pertains to ideal gases relates to the spontaneous evolution of an isolated system. So once we have done the first reversal (which resets the initial conditions), the gas will not "freeze" or reverse at t2 (when it's back to where it started) unless we again intervene, violating the isolation. Left to its own devices the gas will once again begin to expand after its molecules have bounced off of other molecules or passed the center of gravity, continuing to do so ad infinitum as dictated by the law of inertia.

I hope you didn't find the above too tedious, since you appeared to understand what I was getting at right away. But as you know, penetrating the dense minds of physicists is a formidable task. Curiously, Loschmidt's paradox was recognized and resolved several years before Boltzmann and Loschmidt got into the act by William Thompson (Lord Kelvin), who correctly perceived that the second law is about "dispersion" (not Boltzmann's "disorder") and that reversing the molecular motion would delay dispersion only temporarily, as illustrated above. As you surmised, Boltzmann's formulation provides a valuable metric for quantifying the relative degree of dispersion, but cannot provide a causal explanation of the second law.

It's clear that Loschmidt's paradox is not a property of nature but rather a product of faulty logic. Radial Momentum relies on the center of mass of the gas as a point of reference from which the gas expands. This works fine for a gas composed of two or more molecules. However, a gas composed of one molecule can never disperse from its center of mass. Viewed from this perspective, Loschmidt's paradox ceases to perplex.

I could go on (and on), but you get the drift. Radial Momentum not only explains why the card sticks to the spool (truly magical in my opinion), but resolves two of the most persistent scientific mysteries of the last 150 years, identifying the source of the arrow of time and the basis of the second law of thermodynamics.

Nice work.

April 14, 2013

Workshop Application

Ed,

I know about the Workshop from your website.

(1) I want to fully experience my feelings. The result of the DIM method are temporary and I feel I have emotional k-nots I want to move through. I participate in the TTP process with a friend who holds back her feelings. She has not read the book and we have had 1 TTP session. She likes the idea and does not want to read the book. She is not a good receiver and I feel myself holding back as a sender: my forms do not fully develop and I do not attain the zero point. She does not understanding tracking judges. I want to work with people who want to read the book and experience feelings. I want to be a good receiver and a good sender.

(2) The Under-Fred Network is real. I am in a working environment with people who do not want to experience feelings. They send the same messages over and over; I realize I am sending the same messages over and over as well. This is a frustrating commercial field of acknowledgement. When I send I feel myself holding back. I understand the difference in sending in an office environment (commercial) and in a personal environment such as Tribe meeting. My colleagues do not understand the difference between work and personal boundaries and send messages mixed with personal and commercial k-nots. They get frustrated when I do not commiserate with them but acknowledge them for sharing. I do not want to receive them. I want to experience not wanting to receive them. I realize I work with people who hold back their feelings, just like me.

Also, I date women who hold back feelings and my relationships are short term. I want to date women who do not hold back feelings. I do not want to hold back feelings. I want to let my feelings out. I want to experience wanting and not wanting and then to experience an AHA and combined form zero point.

(3) I am familiar with the Rocks Page. I have not experienced the Rocks Process. I want to experience the Rocks Process and build Resource Rocks.

(4) I believe mental models are the foundation of actions as they are a feedback mechanism which impacts future choices and events adding variables to mental models, Fred infinitum. I want to experience feelings to re-start and simplify my mental models to progress toward Right Livelihood. I have not read all of the articles on the EcoNowMics web page.

(5) I read, understand and agree to the terms of this Disclaimer.

[X] I understand the basic TTP Materials.

Please see essay attached.

Please accept this application to attend the Trading Tribe Workshop September 13 - 15, 2013 and let me know if I am accepted to attend.

April 14, 2013

Building Family

Dear Ed,

Thank you for your response.

How I imagine the scene (left side of my April 9 "Fear Forms" item) to evolve: the two partners kiss fondly and happily and make love with great passion and joy.

How I see myself implementing things: I have wasted a huge amount of time during my life seeing myself implementing things without doing it and I feel it is now time to implement things. I have just sent an application for the Amsterdam Tribe. My choice is not casual: I feel that this Tribe emanates a clear intention of doing serious work. I have a clear intention of doing serious work.

This decision follows from a defining financial and emotional catharsis that takes place on Friday, but which my Fred and to a certain extent even my CM have been expecting all along (and busily working to set it up): I suffer serious losses from my large gold and silver positions, which sum up to previous losses, with the end result being that I now have left roughly 40%, maybe even less, of my starting capital. I can no longer hide from my parents, from whom I've been hiding all my life.

On Saturday, I take the car and go meet them. I have the clear intention of sharing my feelings and receiving theirs. I enlist the help of my girlfriend to support me during the process and make sure that I stay the course.

I start our meeting by telling my parents what I intend to do (briefly tell them the facts, then share my feelings) and what I'd like them to do (receive my feelings without interrupting, which is a big task particularly for my father, and then share their feelings with me).

I share a lot, saying some things that I've been wanting to say all my life. I cry and laugh. I really open up. As I do it and as I receive my parents, I realize I could have done this any day of my life, without the need for such an expensive excuse.

My parent are exceptional. They receive me without judgment. They are extremely supporting. My father even cries, recalling his past suffering (this is just a brief moment, but it is outright amazing, since he's always been "shut"). My mom says she's very happy and that this is one of the happiest days in her life, that the happiest one is when I am born and that today I am reborn.

I accept them as they are and realize that they've never meant to hurt me, that they've always done their best and that they indeed are great parents. They have their own issues and they've unwittingly passed some of them over to me. I have developed some others on my own. It's OK, I do not want to change them, but I am here to receive them if they're willing to share. I want to change, to become more open and accepting, so as to be able to better receive them.

I could write an endless email, but the reality is that I can't describe verbally what has been an extremely feelings-intensive exchange. I still feel displaced, with my head feeling both light and heavy at the same time. I feel drowsy and numb and disconnected from the world around me. I realize I still have many issues and that this moment is not the end, but rather the beginning of my journey through my own feelings and those of the people around me. A journey that takes great commitment and effort, with the goal being the journey itself. I also realize that this is not about TTP or Ed: they disappear in the moment. This is about myself and my parents sharing our feelings as sincerely and as deeply as we are capable of. I commit to working on this new-found skill to hone and improve it.

Thank you Ed for giving people the tools they need to set themselves free and open themselves up to a serenely intense life!

As I review the TTP Workshop page I notice that my essays are not included between the examples of knowledgeable applications: I feel a mixture of embarrassment, shame, unworthiness/inferiority, resentment and anger. I also feel an increased commitment (which may be the positive intention of such feelings). I smile and realize that our intention is for me to experience such feelings. I thank you for giving me the opportunity to locate one of my many issues.

April 13, 2013

Magnetic Radius of Comfort

Ed,

In this video, magnets establish a comfortable radius.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LyvfDzRLsiU

April 13, 2013

Tribe Report - Pollination

Hi Ed,

I visit the Sacramento tribe last week.

I am writing this email after reading some member's reports about the last session.

I feel hotness on my ears and face as I write this report.

During my visit, I learn lessons about process management, respect and agreements.

As a guest, I do not clarify with the tribe my intention of my visit. I am just observing their work, I can take the hot seat or I can manage a process.

During the first process, I try to take the role of observer. We all start asking questions, including me (so I am not only observing anymore).

At this point, I do not know who is managing the process. I sense the member next to me is leading it. After some time, I realize we are talking too much and I see hot seat already showing some entry forms.

My "I know better" attitude pushes me to intervene. Although, I do not ask for permission to manage the process, I try to manage it. I ask hot seat to intensify her forms. Hot seat experiences some forms and she is unwilling to move forward with the process. During the process, I sense that something is not OK. We do not even check for willingness beforehand. Also, I think I am competing with the member next to me in managing the process. Definitely, this is not the way to support hot seat. We are sending multiple messages to hot seat.

After we finish this process, I feel uncomfortable for intervening with my "I know better" attitude.

We move to the second process. The member next to me takes the hot seat (the one I think I am competing with in the first process). He gets into forms quickly. Hot seat is willing to go through the whole process. I manage the first part of the process (although, again, I do not ask for permission to manage the process).

In the middle of the process, I notice another member giving instructions about the role playing. At this point, I try to clarify who is managing the process with the tribe leader. Definitely, in the middle of a rock process is not the appropriate time to make these agreements.

I want to thank all members for inviting me to their tribe.

April 13, 2013

Truckee Tribe

Dear Ed,

I plan to lead a 10-meeting Trading Tribe in the Reno / Tahoe Truckee area this summer or fall depending on the number of prospective Tribe members who express interest in participation. Please post the attached notice about the "Truckee Tribe" on the Trading Tribe Website.

April 12, 2013

Cool Video - One-Man Brass Band

Ed,

Check this out:

April 12, 2013

Tribe Report: Asthma and Trading

Hi Ed

It is great to see FAQ's appearing again. Our Sacramento trading tribe met Wednesday April 10th and invited a pollinator from the San Francisco Tribe to visit.

I have attended regular meetings of both the San Francisco and Sacramento tribe the last few years. I think the Sacramento tribe has made significant growth applying the TTP processes in the last couple of months. In particular there seems to be a current focus on applying the Rocks process.

My personal experience with this at our meeting in March was jarring in some ways. It seemed to lead directly to early childhood memories of Asthma attacks when I was 5 and lived in Scottsdale AZ. The feeling of not getting enough breath and air was scary for me especially when going to the hospital for a big needle injection to open my passages.

My mother who was very anxious of my asthma condition as a child tried to minimize my risk by keeping me indoors a lot, so i couldn't play with friends especially when the regular dust storms of the desert would appear. These were particularly big in the fall and early spring. It was beneficial for me to see and connect how my fear of risk taking with trading led to a pattern of consistently taking me out of good trades early the last 5 years.

I sense there is more to learn from this history to improve my trading and follow my system. I have avoided thinking about it after my last experience with the rocks process. Reflecting on it now has helped me understand perhaps why my mother had learned to smother me and why I became so rebellious as a teenager. I was able to feel a deep love for how she cared for me during the traumatic experiences of my early condition with Asthma

In some ways my learned pattern ability to minimize my risk has preserved much of my capital during the last 5 years. However I need to accept more risk and ride the wave during the trends that persist.

Any suggestions you may have as to peeling back the onion or bringing more balance to my risk taking moving forward is much appreciated. I do think our Sacramento tribe is having some difficulty in perhaps too much discussion and analyzing the last session. However the pollinator from San Francisco brought some new insight and required discussion and interpretation.

April 12, 2013

Disgust and Despair in Cyprus

Dear Ed,

I notice an interesting feedback loop: sell your gold (to us) for fiat to pay your to debt (to us):

http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2013-04-12/mario-draghi-orders-cyprus-sell-gold-cover-bailout-shortfall.

I notice my feelings of disgust and despair regarding the current debacle in Cyprus and the Eurozone.

Regards,

April 12, 2013

Tribe Report: Embarrassment

Yes Chief,

Confrontation rock shows up in every aspect in my life.

This creates a lot barriers in my career and relationships. I probably project my fear to confront my mom to confronting the waitress, or coworker, boss, wife.

What interests me is that the Rock bothers me more when I have conflict with somebody I consider friends, or non hostile. When confronting somebody I consider hostile strangers, I feel much free to protect my boundary. I put it on the top priority list for my tribe work.

Friday, April 12, 2013

Tribe Report: Dealing with Grief

Ed,

The one female member of our Tribe checks in. She is clearly agitated and says she wants to work on "abandonment issues."

One member asks about her current relationship. She says she is not in one, but the most recent relationship is characterized by the man repeatedly leaving on personal or family business including a daughter's cancer, with no commitment to return or continue the relationship. She feels abandoned.

Someone asks her where she feels these feelings. She says "in my heart" and begins tapping her upper chest over her heart with her fingertips. Several members gently urge her to "do more of that." She begins rocking back and forth while tapping.

At this point her face is scrunched up and she is crying with increasing intensity. The Tribe members are gently drumming or slapping their knees and speaking encouraging words like "that's good" and "keep it up" and "do more of that."

I feel her grief in my chest like a fist clenching my heart and lungs. I begin to cry quietly and stop my encouragement as I am overcome with shared grief. Her rocking, tapping and crying continue for quite some time, and then slowly fade.

As she calms she speaks, telling us about how at birth she came under her father's care for the first six weeks while her mother, seriously ill from childbirth, stays in the hospital. Upon her mother's return home, her father virtually disappears from her life due to work and outside commitments, spending little time with her thereafter throughout her youth. She relates that it takes until adulthood to identify this early time in her life as the source of abandonment feelings. Over the course of her life she feels that she seeks out relationships with people who will abandon her.

She feels she has "hooks all over my body" that snare such people into her life. She adopts a profession, nursing, wherein people are constantly leaving her sphere either by getting well or by dying. Each time this happens she returns to the "black hole" in her soul associated with abandonment.

From a process point of view all of this explanation and storytelling interrupts the intensity of the moment. At some point one member asks if she would like to work on alternative resources to deal with the feeling of abandonment. She is equivocal. Other members repeat the question from time to time as the storytelling and discussion continue.

She says she "doesn't want to go back there." I ask her if she can recall a specific event that triggers the black hole feeling. She tells us a story about a 13 year relationship with a man who cheated on her repeatedly until she finally leaves him. Then she tells us they are still friends.

She says she does not know men who do not have multiple relationships. Three men in the Tribe raise their hands and state they have been faithful to their wives for 42, 39 and 32 years.

This appears to validate the idea that she attracts a certain kind of person into intimate relationships. She does not identify a situation we can work with to develop alternative ways she might deal with the feeling of abandonment. Her willingness to move forward is low. She agrees that it might be better to work on this at another time and the meeting moves on to the next person to check in.

This story raises some questions about TTP for me.

When a check-in process is interrupted by extended storytelling, it tends to take people away from their feelings and puts CM back in charge. The group mood cycles up and down. I feel a shift from a relaxed feelings-centric mode to an analytical and fixing mode. This makes it more difficult for me to empathize and receive the sender's feelings. I wonder what you think about the role of storytelling during check-in.

Once a Tribe member gets deeply into their forms and the other Tribe members are encouraging and receiving and clearly bonding in the moment, followed by the sender's release and calming, there is a moment of opportunity for a process manager to determine whether the sender is willing to move forward with another process (Rocks, Forms Integration or whatever).

If an analytical style discussion ensues with Q&A, the moment may be lost such that the sender is unable or unwilling to move forward. I wonder what your experience says about this.

April 11, 2013

Dealing With Anger About Judgment

Ed,

I am happy to see another woman share her thoughts on the porn question, until I finish reading her post and notice my eyes narrowing and my back going up (cat fight!). I choose to allow my anger to unfold as it needs to, and, sure enough, it leads me directly to some of my primary experiences of feeling judged.

Knowing that your goal for FAQ is to share process that relates to TTP, and not having a Tribe, I pull up an empty chair and begin speaking to my judge. I tell her (my mother) that I know we feel differently about many things. I feel a sadness as I say this, knowing that at this moment we may be the closest we have ever been (she passed twelve years ago).

My anger has dissolved, not because I suppress it - I handled that judge last weekend! - but because I allow it to evolve into a clear belief in myself that does not depend on the approval of someone else, even a very important someone. I feel compassion for her, and I hope that she has found peace.

I feel happy and relaxed as I accept my sexual feelings without shame or judgment. I imagine being with a partner whose sexual feelings I also accept without judgment. A warmth and peacefulness envelop me and I feel very grateful to the woman who judged me for allowing me the opportunity to experience these feelings.

Viva TTP!

April 11, 2013

Tribe Report: Human Ant Farm

My turn comes to check in at our monthly tribe meeting.

I have lately experienced a creepy feeling of ants crawling over my body during moments of stress. I feel a million moving pressure points on my skin and a burning sensation. I am shaking my hands as I speak.

Tribe encourages more of that. I start brushing my forearms vigorously with my hands. I can feel the ants and the cooling of my skin where they are gone. I brush my legs vigorously and get very agitated. The person sitting next to me is most vocal with encouragement.

Suddenly he says "freeze" and I stop in mid motion. He asks me to recall whether I have ever felt this way before. After an effort I recall a humiliating circumstance involving me, my fiancé and my parents when I was 19 years old. At that time I felt a mixture of shame, revulsion, heat and anger very similar to the "creepy ants" feeling now.

He asks if I am willing to explore that time in my life. I feel fear and a desire to run away. I also feel a strong desire to deal with this excruciating pain of "ant-itis" which is somehow connected with failure and loss.

He persists in asking questions to verify my willingness. I tell the group that I would like to explore this further. We identify persons to recreate a scene in my grandmother's house.

The situation is this. My girlfriend and I are in college and have decided to get married. We know our parents do not agree. I put down a deposit on a $300 engagement ring with a check on my college account that I hold jointly with my parents and leave the ring for sizing at the jewelers.

When we go to pick it up, the jeweler announces that the check has bounced. Somehow my parents have found out and instructed the bank to reject it. I experience a tornado of anger, humiliation and despair. Relations with my controlling mother have been descending for years. This is a new low. I also feel ashamed for raiding my college fund, essentially stealing from my parents, for this personal purchase as well as foolish for leaving the discovery door wide open.

My cherished image of self-reliance is revealed as a sham. At the tribe meeting I realize that I have been silently denying this fact for decades while Fred invokes increasingly distressing dramas around the theme of personal responsibility or lack thereof. The physical manifestation of this is poor risk management and trading losses and other self-destructive behaviors.

We play out the scenario of me confronting my parents about the ring fiasco. The woman playing my mother sounds just like her, although not quite so shrill (hard to imagine). I feel like I am back in that painful angry moment again. The man playing my father mimics his stern but compassionate mien. I love my father. I want to love my mother but it is hard for me to overcome her constant criticisms. I shout to express my anger in an attempt to hurt my mother and drive her away. I tell myself that I could care less about her feelings even though that is not true.

After the scenario the process manager, a Pollinator visiting our tribe, offers to demonstrate an alternative method of dealing with the situation. He takes my role and I observe the scene unfold.

Instead of anger, he repeatedly asks my agitated mother whether she is interested in hearing his feelings about the ring and the bounced check. Finally she says "yes." He explains his dismay, humiliation and feelings of rejection. He then asks to hear her feelings. She expresses a desire to protect me from making a major life mistake (I am thinking to myself, how can it be a mistake to marry the girl you love?) as well as her anger at me taking college money for a ring. This is my first clue about the denial side of this event. I have truly been burying that deeply most of my life.

Finally, the process manager asks me if I am willing to take over and replay the role of the son, but this time asking to share feelings. I do so. I must admit that it feels better to behave in a way that heals a broken relationship, by asking for my mother's willingness to listen to me, and then asking her to express her feelings, than it does to escalate an already heated confrontation.

The players check out in their roles and I then release them from their roles. As usual, by overcoming my initial fear of sharing deeply hidden events and unpleasant feelings in Tribe, I learn something of high value. In this case, I learn that when I feel ants crawling all over me, I am being eaten alive by inconsistencies between my values and behaviors.

April 11, 2013

Porn Preferences

Dear Ed:

I can't help myself from responding to Porn - One Woman's View.

Yes, we all have our own opinions and viewpoints.

However, I find it interesting that "Debbie Does Dallas" is considered by your reader to be at the top of their porn list and is viewed as empowering women.

Yes, the group of girls did band together in a business venture of what I would call "prostitution" to reach one of their member's lofty financial goals.

As women, we all know we have that power over men, but I wonder how the author of "Porn - One Woman's View" (April 10) actually believes that empowers us and how long does that empowerment really last.

For instance, when a man watches the movie, "Debbie Does Dallas," I'm sure he is not thinking of an empowered woman.

Survey says - this is a perfect example of how men and women think differently.

Women, I say lighten up.

Whatever happened to us submitting to snuggling up with our husbands / boyfriends and snoozing through their porn movie of choice just as they snuggle up with us and snooze through our chick flick of choice.

Successful relationships are about supporting and receiving support from one another. Maybe we should all give it a try!

Best regards

April 11, 2013

Tribe Report: No Problem ( 没问题 )

Ed,

At our Tribe meeting this month one member questions whether a Rocks Process must always start in the present then explore past experiences to arrive at a primal, often childhood, event.

He describes a memory from his youth in China where he is very young and alone on a grassy hillside. We ask him what feelings associate with that scene and what issue he may have with it.

He does not communicate strong feelings or a traumatic event connected to this memory.

We discuss the objectives of TTP and especially the Rocks Process—namely to identify coping mechanisms learned from a role model during a stressful event in one's life, a learned response that no longer serves, resulting in recurring dramas, and then to "replace them with Resources Rocks that are far richer in coping resources."

http://www.seykota.com/tribe/Rocks/index.htm

I conclude that simply identifying a vivid childhood memory devoid of trauma is unproductive. The discussion, however, is valuable as a way for all members to express their understanding of TTP and Rocks. One member has recently reviewed with the Chief our Rocks Process experience at last month's meeting. She helps us understand the role of forgiving a medicinal rock to its donor, and the importance of identifying the rock donor. Everyone is keen to try this again.

April 11, 2013

More On Confrontation

Ed,

Regarding my Embarrassment Rock (April 10):

Yes if I embrace the confrontation from the very start when I feel her service is bad, I might not resort to causal model and control-centric model to punish her because the bad service.

Thank you Chief!

April 11, 2013

The TT Game

Hi Ed,

I wonder if you agree TT is a game, a game that you are evolving as you do experiments with it.

TT Goal:
Experience insight by connecting Fred & CM

TT Rules:
Various, explicit and (apparently) well-defined:
a/ Before
b/ During meetings: example - consent to take hot seat.
c/ After meetings

TT Feedback Loops & "Scoring":
Personal; each person is responsible for their own learning and for supporting the learning intent of others.
Snapshots and other devices provide visible depictions of beginning-middle-end progressions.

Opt-In:
aka Willingness to play. Total opt-in.

One thing that is hitting me as I write this is the sense-of-progress aspect of a good game. I think the TT work can be tightened up for participants in terms of a well-defined experience of a "start, execute, done" cycle. I wonder if you might want to discuss this further, using the Gaming-Happiness vocabulary as a way to focus the discussion on games and happiness.

Kind Regards,

April 11, 2013

Keep it Simple

Ed,

Is there any thing I could do, say, try to be, send to you pay private consulting, contribute to a charity anything at all to
get some input from you?

I just want my system trading to be as professional and profitable as it can be.

Its not forms or feelings for me ... I am very happily married with two wonderful children.

I have employed a full time programmer, we feel we have picked the low lying fruit. What we are using is very simple. To get better returns we have to stomach bigger swings. Maybe I'm looking for something that just isn't there?

So Ed, How about you respond like this:

OK next time I'm in [your neighborhood] I'll come and see you. I'd be glad to. I would be very happy to assist you with your system (s) if I can. You do know that I am probably one of the best (system) traders in the world and because of this I just may be able to help. But, you'll have to buy dinner for both me and my wife (partner).

Or is this approach too straight forward?

It may be more appropriate if I wrote about all of the problems that I don't have. My wife that hates me and doesn't understand me and my children who are on drugs and are in and out of prison, ha ha !!

I just want to be the best trader I can be. And I will persevere until I am. Who could be better to ask for pointers from, on system trading, than you?

Come on Ed ... keep it simple for once.