June 20, 2013

Finding The Trading Tribe

Hi Ed,

Thank you for the quick response. I would be getting myself a copy of The Trading Tribe Book, taking the first steps towards attending a tribe meeting.

Just wanted to take the opportunity to share my experience of how I arrived at the Tribe doorsteps.

I read the Market Wizards three to four years ago. At that point, I focused more on the ideas than the personalities behind the ideas; I found a few which resonated with me.

Over the last four years, I started discovering the benefits of yoga and meditation, especially in how they helped me improve my self-awareness; I realized that I had over the same period also started improving as a trader.

Last Wednesday, while discussing ways to improve as a trader with a (non-trader) friend, I was asked who my trading idol was. Many of my colleagues are successful traders, but I could not think of anyone as being my idol. Once home, I started thinking about who my idol would be, and consulting my notes made over time, and within a few minutes, your name popped up quite serendipitously. I re-read your interview in MW and on the web, enjoyed the 'The Whipsaw Song', and was very soon at the doorsteps.

Looking forward to embarking on this exciting journey, and hopeful of making a trip to the U.S. at some point in the none-too-distant future to seek your guidance!

Best regards,

June 20, 2013

Sends Support

Dear Ed,

I admire the courage, the willingness to work on his own issues and the insight and humbleness of the contributor from June 19, 2013 - Sharing Feelings Away. I wish him/her a fulfilling, enrichening and supportive relationship with his/her daughter.

Kindest regards,

June 19, 2013

Feedback

Ed,

Thanks for the feedback. I always believe the feedback (or criticism) that I like the least is likely to be the one that is most valuable. Thank you.

Ed says, "You might readily answer such questions for yourself by experimentation; I'd like to know your findings."

It is precisely in the spirit of experimentation that I had a former Incline Village tribe member come in as a pollinator to the Tribe, and asked him to process manage for us. His report also included some similar feedback, like I find it difficult to pinpoint a rock donor, and my gut reaction was just whatever I've learned unknowingly.

In his words, "I find it challenging to discover a key event - HS (hot seat) describes several events, which are very intense ... in desperation for survival, the child grabs on to whatever resources are available to him." (see FAQ, 6/10/13, "Pollinator Report: Freezing at the Peak")

Ed says, "Your Rocks Process Feedback description seems to describe little of your experience / insights from the Rocks Process; it deals more with your questioning details of the Rocks Process."

Sorry I do not include a lengthy description of my own experience as the P.M. has already described our process in his report to the FAQ. I've also described one insight from the Process in that you might be right that deep down I wanted my father's attention (I even wrote used the subject "Give credit where credit is due" to highlight my respect for you).

Another insight I've gained is through role-play I was able to see it from the child's perspective, that it is scary when an angry adult came storming at him. I think this can help me to be a better father.

With all due respect sir, most of us (myself included of course) are not nearly as smart as you to be able to grasp things instinctively and intuitively without the need to ask any question.

It is precisely in that spirit that I wrote to the FAQ to seek out your clarification. I am sorry that you deem it as "questioning details of the Rocks Process" with a negative connotation when I am just hoping to gain a better understanding so that I can run a more efficient process to serve others.

In a way, this, and other recent events have left me feeling tired of running a Tribe. Nevertheless, thanks to the heartfelt appreciation that I get from one member, it gives me the will to finish the series.

Once again, thank you for your honest feedback.

June 19, 2013

Rock

Ed,

My big rock.

June 19, 2013

Feeling Tensions

Dear Chief,

I want to share with you my experience on the hot seat.

Each time I am on the hot seat (3 sessions in Amsterdam), I have strong forms such as anger and fear : intense tension in the throat and in the neck with tremors of the cervical region, mouth widely open and tensed as to scream but without a noise, sweating.

The group encourage me to develop those forms, and sometimes I can feel a deep tension into my stomach and cry or scream.

But this do not release me, I still feel those tensions inside my body. I don't feel angry, afraid or sad, I just feel incomprehension : I turn my hands as to say 'what is this ?', my scalp tightens and eyes open widely. But I don't have any recall.

Sometimes I can feel relaxed after the expression of those forms, but it is a temporary state. At the time I write those lines, I feel those tensions and forms. I'm OK to let them going out as I work from home, but it doesn't drive me anywhere.

I would like to know if you have anything to recommend. Thank you sincerely for the time and the attention you offer to my message.

June 19, 2013

Sharing Feelings Away

Ed,

I have a recent encounter with my daughter in which I feel she treats me with considerable disrespect. I notice filling up with anger and even wanting to disown her and never talk to her again.

I have a hunch this is an old pattern for me and might have more to do with me than with her. So rather than attack her, I try something new. First, I vent with some friends to try to blow off some of the steam. This helps to lower my anger and focus the issue.

Then I call my daughter and tell her I would like to share some feelings with her - and that I want to do that after I cool down a bit more - since I want to be constructive.

The next day, when I finally share my feelings with her, I preface with "I would like to share how I feel - in the spirit of making our relationship work better." Then I tell her my feelings. She listens and says "Thank you for sharing your feelings." That's it. No argument, no fight.

Then she tells me her feelings and her take on the situation. I listen and thank her.

After that I don't feel the anger. I just feel closer to her.

Trading Tribe Process (TTP) Report:
How To Change Your Parents

Dear Ed,

This is my report for our latest Tribe meeting in Amsterdam.

I am first on the hot seat, I get into my forms (punching a pillow while whispering "Why don't you listen to me", ideally asking the question to my parents and to my dad in particular, already knowing that the truth is that I do not express myself, so they can't possibly listen).

The Chief asks me to relocate a memory, which comes very easy since I clearly recall the moment I decide to stop sharing. I cannot recall the details of the event that precedes and informs that decision, I just remember that I share something with my mum, she doesn't like it, scolds me and then calls my father to support her in the process.

They do the scolding in their usual manner, which is to spend an awful lot of time explaining exactly why what I did was wrong and how I could have acted differently etc etc. I fully understand that this is their way of trying to teach me how to behave by treating me as an individual who is capable of understanding and without forcing a behaviour on me, but the feelings that surface during those moments are horrible boredom, stubbornness / wanting to stick with my approach and just wanting the scold to end asap.

This time the whole process is heightened and made more bitter by the fact that I approach my mum with enthusiasm, joy and a strong desire to share and I am greatly surprised and disappointed by her reaction. I really suffer and feel misunderstood and taken advantage of in a truly unfair way (I share something with abandon and trust and that immediately becomes a weapon to be used against me).

So the role play begins and the Tribe members are great at recreating that horribly boring atmosphere of endless talking and reasoning and explaining, even though they do not know what to talk about. I experience misunderstanding and bitterness / anger and shutting down / feeling bored / tired and wanting to end the exchange asap.

Then we proceed with the role playing and the identification of the medicinal rocks. I can clearly see "shutting down" as a resource that my mum uses with my dad or more generally when there's something she doesn't like. She shuts down and becomes bitter as a result and then tries to make others feel the same way. My dad also keeps things to himself, but more as a way of protecting himself. Now that I write the report I also realize that when my dad shares something, my mum is quick to make judgments, recommendations etc. and I see the "self-incrimination" pattern repeated.

We also identify wanting to be right / rationalizing as a way of avoiding feelings and imposing my own views / ideas / approaches. Again this is something both my parents do, although my dad excels at it and run his business basically on his own and always wants to get things his own way.

When my surrogate plays myself I want him to express anger and just shut them up. This is how I feel in the moment: I am very angry.

Then I forgive the rocks, something that really takes effort, particularly since these rocks inform most of my life and I am also quite fond of the "be right" rock, to be honest. When I express that feelings protect me and forgive the shut down, I feel goose bumps and a powerful rush of emotion. This is definitely the most intense moment of the whole process.

I also forgive the other rock and then replay the incident using resources: this time it is completely different, I do not want to express anger or shout, I just keep sharing my enthusiasm for what I've done and I encourage my parents to do even more scolding and lecturing. I am happy and laugh and just enjoy the moment, all the while continuing to share that I am happy and enthusiastic for what I've done and that I feel I've learnt something new. The result is a very different exchange.

The most striking feature is that I just enjoy my parents, I do not need their agreement or praise anymore, I receive whatever they want to share and however they want to do it.

The meeting then goes on with another rocks process and a regular hot seat and I am happy to participate and feel that everybody makes progress. I also enjoy role playing in the other rocks process as it rekindles a never lost yet never expressed love for acting.

Another important thing that happens is that just after I've handed back my shut down rock and then more markedly in the following two or three days, I feel a feeling that plays a huge role in my life, namely self-doubt / belittlement / feeling I've not done enough.

Instead of celebrating a powerful process and the meaningful progress I make in just a few meetings, start to doubt whether the process has gone far enough, whether I've put in enough effort, whether I've done it "right" etc. And then I question whether I should have allowed myself more time to savour the moment after forgiving my shut down rock etc. etc. in an endless feedback loop.

Then I realize that TTP is not the Godot of my previous email: it's a tool that we can use to work on our issues and change our attitudes and the way we look at things (sometimes maybe even benignly "fooling" ourselves a bit into believing we can now finally do what in reality we've always been capable of doing, but just didn't believe possible), but we ultimately and always have the power and the responsibility to make our own choices in all the infinite now-moments that make up our lives.

So I decide to share with my parents and we have a very nice sharing session. I appreciate them for who they are and I am profoundly grateful for how they've educated me and for what they've taught me. I feel they've made a very good job and that they've also worked on many of their own issues so as to be better parents.

I feel profound affection for them and I share it. I also share some boundaries that I want to establish in our relationship and that I want to change it from one of dependence to a more adult one made of independence and mutual support, with clear, open communication.

I also listen to them carefully and I realize that in the past I've really made them into different people by looking at them with different eyes: they're truly wonderful persons and very willing to listen to me and help me when I need it. They're also very supportive and respectful and also way more open to sharing and listening than I thought.

Thank you to my Tribe, to you and especially to my parents and my girlfriend!

That said, I feel I have a lot of work to do on the self-doubt thingy ;)!

Best,

I feel warm gratitude at the invitation to participate in the Austin Tribe.

The first meeting seems to hit the ground running, with experienced tribe members willing to participate in the work using the Rocks process to deal with issues which they wish to change in their lives. The first process involves shame and embarrassment, and feelings of unworthiness in relationships with women. The process uncovers an incident in childhood where the man, then a child, encountered his mother, separated from the father, experiencing sexual relations with a man who is not the boy's father. The issue is resolved as he gives up the learned behavior of shutting down in response to such situations, and acquires a new resource, that is, building intimacy with others by sharing his feelings, and being concerned about, asking about the other's feelings, and listening to their responses.

In the second process, the tribe member wants to address his weight issues, and his process uncovers his discomfort dealing in his job with clients who express rage and frustration with his company's performance.

In the time since the first meeting, my father enters a hospital in my home town after a preventative chemotherapy treatment as a follow up to successful surgery in February for lung cancer. A planned trip to travel to my hometown, stay a night at my parents' house, and then travel to another town for a family reunion is cancelled as my father's condition in the hospital deteriorates further. I pack for the trip with apprehension, and include a dark suit, in preparation for the possibility he might not survive. I fear that I will not get to my home town in order to see my father before he passes away. The drive home with my two children, without my wife, who has a business trip to California, goes very well - no undue traffic, the children were exceedingly well behaved, and we only made one stop in an eight hour drive.

I arrive home and find it even hard to write about this but my mother has basically written off my father and does not visit him in the hospital or even seem to care whether he lives or dies. It is shocking to me to realize the depth of her uncaring for the man to whom she has been married for over fifty years. She seems totally self-concerned, and is bitter and angry that me and my three sisters are paying so much attention to my father's illness and hospitalization, as if it is robbing her of the attention we should be giving to her.

I spend several hours talking into the night with her, listening to her share her feelings about everything. She is very rigid in her household habits, her daily routine, and is very particular about how things are done. The dishes in the dishwasher must be placed just so. Certain lights must be on or off at certain times of the day. After fixing me and the children dinner on our first night there, she doesn't eat with us. She stays up late at night, eats her dinner by herself watching a particular program on PBS at 10pm. She usually doesn't go to bed until 4 am, about the time my father wakes up, and doesn't wake up until noon. When he is not in the hospital they work different shifts in that household and rarely eat at the same time. My father makes her breakfast in bed around 10am, the time she says she wants to get up, but it usually sits on the tray in the hall outside her bedroom getting cold until she's ready for it, usually after noon. He does all the grocery shopping for the household, and most of the cooking.

The next day asks me and the children to take care of ourselves for dinner, that she has someone coming over who is bringing dinner, and that when we return home after dinner we should just go upstairs and not disturb her and her company, the mother of the best man at my wedding. It seems odd to come home and not pay my respects to my friend's mother, but my mother is insistent that she "wants her house back" and doesn't want her peace disturbed by me and the kids.

I feel anger at the idea that I and my children are unwelcome in the house in which I was born and raised, but I accept that this is how she feels. I wonder if I have done something to offend her in such a way that I have brought this on myself. This is possible, but I cannot identify an event or even a series of events which might have brought this about. I don't fight it - I just recognize that it is her house and that this is the way she feels, but inside it hurts me to see my mother being so hard-hearted and coldly antagonistic and hostile to me.

My father began to improve on the day I arrived. The doctors said is was a "turn the corner" day where he stopped getting worse, and began steady, daily improvement. His heart, lung and kidney function, which had been debilitated by the chemotherapy reaction, began to improve, and he began to shed the edema, the 20 pounds of water weight he put on in a few days from the saline IV they used to deliver antibiotics to fight an infection of the surgically implanted chemo port.

At home, it was a difficult several days of walking on rice paper, trying to avoid ruffling my mother's feathers, submitting to whatever she asked of us without argument or pushback.

Today my father is getting out of the hospital and I am anxious that my mother will not be engaged in taking care of him at home. She is used to him taking care of her, and resents that she has lost her domestic manservant and has to fend for herself, which exhausts her, and him.

My father being in the hospital at the same time as the Austin Tribe starts up, with a dire, life-threatening reaction to "preventative" chemotherapy, brought up some feelings from the last Austin Tribe series, during which one of my four sisters was fighting a very rare form of untreatable cancer, to which she succumbed in the days prior to the final meeting of the Austin Tribe series, which I was unable to attend. I entertain some crazy superstitious thoughts that perhaps my attending Austin Tribe is having detrimental effects on the health of my family members!

I look forward to the second Austin Tribe meeting. Will it be convening in Austin or Bastrop?

Sincerely,

Trading Tribe Process (TTP) Report:
TTP and Losing Weight

The Tribe meeting begins and I participate in the first hot seat in a role play.

A tribe member is having difficulties in his relationship with his girlfriend. He approaches his girlfriend while she is speaking to her cousin's husband. He becomes agitated because the other man is there with her. He goes through his forms and feelings. He remembers a time when he is very young and his mother and father are divorced. He hears his mother and new boyfriend making love. He mentions this the next time he sees his father and he tells him to interrupt them the next time he hears them making love.

I play the father and I feel angry and annoyed because my ex-wife has found a new boyfriend. I am so caught up in my feelings that I don't stop to think how it must feel for my son to be put in the middle of this situation. He interrupts them the next time he hears them having sex and his mother feels embarrassed and takes him back to his room.

The mother transferred her feelings of embarrassment to him. In the rocks process, I try to give him the feeling of anger that I have and we share feelings. He refuses the rock and tells me his feelings of anger and annoyance. I feel sad and guilty. Also during the rocks process he refuses the rock of embarrassment from his mother and shares his feelings. During check out in our roles I feel the guilt, shame and sadness that a father would feel after realizing what he had actually done to his son. I realized just how important the love of a father is.

I take the hot seat next and discuss my goal of losing 50 pounds. I have always been overweight and I want to do something about it. I feel that I eat to cover up my emotions. I go through my forms for anger. I remember a time when I was going to college and I told my mother that I was thinking about majoring in marketing. She became extremely angry and started to yell at me saying that a degree in marketing was worthless. I said that I could try economics and she agreed that was a better major. I shut down my feelings and didn't express how I felt. We role played this situation as it originally happened.

I ask the tribe member who played my mother to increase the level of anger so I could get the same feeling I had experienced years ago. We then role played using a rocks process and sharing feelings. First, I shared my feels with my mother that I am angry and annoyed. I also feel strongly about majoring in marketing in spite of her demands. We have an exchange in which she is still yelling at me and telling me that I am making a mistake. I replied by telling I would feel sad about making a mistake. However, I would feel even sadder if I don't try something that I feel I would be good at.

I did a rocks process with my father. He tried to give me the rock of shutting down and using food to cover up my feelings. I refuse it and I feel stronger because it felt like a weight had been lifted off of me.

After the Tribe meeting I have felt the effects of my hot seat experience. I have noticed a marked improvement in my eating habits such as not stopping at the convenience store for snacks and not feeling the urge to go to vending machines for junk food. I also started taking a class in digital art that I have always wanted to take. I am enjoying this class very much.

I still have a way to go in improving my diet and eating habits which I will work on in our Tribe meetings.

June 17, 2013

Book On Trading System Design

Hi Chief,

I am focusing on designing my mechanical system, while reading some books on system design. It comes to me the realization that I don't see a system design book by you.

There might be a lot to talk about how to design a robust system, how to detect medicinal rocks in the thought process of designing and testing a system, how to make a system more adaptive, whether the adoption of modern technologies may help system performance, like spectral analysis, pattern recognition, adaptive system design, chaos theory, statics, and system dynamics etc.

I feel that it's something missing for the Trading Tribe. I wonder if this is something you already notice and work on. You are the God Father of the modern system trading and a such book is something I want to read and keep in my trading book library. I feel sorry asking more from you for you are already working hard on maintaining FAQ, running Austin tribe and workshops, and more. |=). And I want to help on programming if you want to start such project.

Thanks,

Dear Ed,

Thank you also for your response and your suggestions. During these days I feel a lot of feelings and I think a lot about numerous issues.

I also start to notice increased release of feelings when I communicate them, particularly with my girlfriend, who is very receptive. Previously, they tended to stick with me more, as I either didn't communicate them or did so halfheartedly or in a not-so-clear fashion.

I notice that two things I really want to change about myself are my constant self-doubts/anxiety and my negative demeanour / pessimistic attitude: they make everything look bleaker and more difficult than it really is and they spoil the fun when I succeed at something. They also prevent me from taking opportunities and well thought out risks (thus leading me towards inordinate risks) and facilitate failure when I endeavour to do something.

They are related and I associate them mostly with my life-threatening experience (particularly given that it stemmed for a very mundane event that carried very little risk, so it really drove home the point that I could die doing pretty much anything, at any time) and they way I coped with it (shut down and be afraid of everything), although they were present before to a lesser degree.

Physical feelings I associate with these phenomena are tension in the bowel / abdomen, like a mild electrical current, weak limbs (legs in particular), need to breathe (not as if having short breath, but rather as if I feel I just need more oxygen), cold hands and feet, hotness / mild sweating in the rest of the body and restless tiredness (I feel like I want to go to bed and sleep, but as soon as I do, I want to jump up and move), numbness/heavy head/inability to concentrate on anything/being absent.

Sometimes outright terror and feeling paralyzed set in. Wanting to escape/look for distraction, sleeping and tyring myself even more with training are common coping mechanisms.

All these feelings and some others, such as feeling lost, feeling overwhelmed, feeling hopeless / impotent, not knowing what to do /needing help etc. tend to manifest themselves, in different combinations, when certain situations occur, such as:

1)Waiting for something to happen (this may be a trip, such as now, an exam, a competition, a business meeting or, in a different form of drama, a deus ex machina or some sort of cathartic event that could somehow solve everything magically and that of course never manifests itself, a situation I've nicknamed "Waiting for Godot");

2)Facing major issues, whether work related or personal;

3)Facing trivial issues, such as writing an email or doing chores/boring tasks;

4)Interacting with people;

5)Reflecting on my life and not feeling satisfied,feeling I lack purpose.

I do want to experience these feelings fully and re-frame them as helpful and useful allies rather than have them as obstacles that paralyze me.

Best,

June 17, 2013

Dear Ed,

I agree that the report from the Amsterdam Tribe on the Rocks Process was awesome. As I approach my second Tribe meeting this week, I am feeling happy to have such a detailed and thoughtful description of the experience.

I find myself looking at rocks differently, as they lie around in the yard or on the street. I have found several that I intend to bring with me to our meeting. Oddly, and again in line with the report from Amsterdam, I notice that I feel affection when I look at the rocks.

The possibility that we can release our self-defeating patterns with the blessing of those who taught them to us is truly amazing. I believe this is one of the most unique aspects of the Rocks Process as compared to other therapeutic techniques and even theories.

It gives validity to your description of creating the "happy family" as an adult, and shows us that this happy family can include the Rock Donors, who have also been transformed!

Wow.

June 17, 2013

Trading Tribe Process (TTP) Report

Ed,

I come to the Austin Tribe meeting seeing familiar faces and feeling connected. We begin with drumming and then Ed asks if there is anyone who wants to work.

A tribe member immediately responds that he is ready. He briefly discusses his issue with wanting to lose weight and that has been an issue for some time. He discusses an issue at work regarding his promotion to handle escalated calls. He states he shuts down when he takes a call from a notoriously obnoxious customer and gets anxious and starts sweating. He gets into a form and the tribe encourages him to crank up the form and intensify the feeling.

At the peak of the feeling Ed asks him to freeze it and recall a time when he is a child. He recalls an angry phone conversation with his mother regarding his college major. He wants to pursue a marketing major and his mother wants him to pursue an economics major. A role play is done of the conversation with his mother. He notices how he disconnects during the conversation. Ed asks if there is someone in the family who demonstrates this behavior. He states when his mother starts yelling his father goes and waters the yard.

The tribe offers some other resources. He can share feelings with his mother and ask her to share her feelings. A rock donor gives him the new resources during the process. He connects with his mother as the process is run with new resources. A process is also run with an angry customer. A tribe member volunteers to play a psychotic angry customer. An award winning performance ensues. I laugh and laugh. My father owns drug stores when I grow up and I notice many memories come up of crazy, angry psychotic patients both from growing up and when I practice pharmacy years ago. I notice feelings of loving most all of those "hard" cases. I made many friends simply by listening to their feelings and understanding.

Truly, many times, people who see the world from a completely different perspective are the most interesting. The tribe member works with his new resources to connect with the angry customer. He makes a friend and it seems all is well in the universe for that moment for this disturbed mentally ill patient.

Later another tribe member states he wants to work. He describes a situation when he is interested in a woman and another man interrupts the relationship. He describes being in an awkward situation when he goes to give the woman candy after a dance class. He wants to feel more free to connect with a woman. He gets into a form and the tribe encourages him to crank it up. Ed asks him to freeze it when the feeling begins vibrating from him. The tribe member recalls a time when he is a child.

He is asleep and awakens to the sound of his mother moaning … having sex with her boyfriend in the room next to his. He does not know what to think and has no reference for the sounds. He gets up and walks to the door of the bedroom next to his. He decides not to knock and decides to go back to sleep. After this occurs he makes a point of discussing this with his father. His father instructs him to interrupt this activity by knocking on the door. He states this is inappropriate. He becomes "the enforcer" for his father.

The next night, or night shortly after the first night, he is awakened again to sounds of his mother moaning while having sex. He gets up and knocks on the bedroom door next to his. His mother comes to the door and asks him about what is going on, she is embarrassed and then takes him back to his bed. The mother and boyfriend then move to another bedroom at the far end of the house. The tribe puts together a replay of the event and also empowers a rock with the ability to share feelings with his mother and father. He is offered the "enforcer" rock from his father during the process but forgives the rock. He connects with his mother and feels free to let her go back to enjoying sex with her boyfriend. Releasing the emotional charge attached to the drama frees him to love unconditionally.

I recall when I am 3-5 years old and my father carries pornographic magazines at one of the drug stores. I look at the pictures but have no reference for what I am looking at. Strangely, it is very exciting and stimulating to see the images. I do not understand what I am looking at. South Park captures the feeling… http://youtu.be/PvwvIc6k2u8. I recall it is not OK in my family to ask questions about certain parts of the anatomy.

Another tribe member is interested in working. He describes feelings of not measuring up. He describes not feeling good about his weight. Other tribe members bring up the weight issue. We do not have time to complete another full process so Ed gives an assignment to measure your body and note the feelings that come up. I notice judgments about certain areas of my body. I do not want to measure certain areas. I do not like the size or proportion of various areas of my body currently.

After the tribe meeting I am really amazed at the dynamics of what takes place. A trading tribe is an amazing phenomenon. Thank you Ed for your willingness to work with all of us … opening your heart and your home. From 2007 when I attend my first workshop I feel I am on a journey of both emotional and physical healing. Let the healing continue.

June 17, 2013

Trading Tribe Process (TTP) Report: Skipping Part of the Process

Hi Ed,

I had a bad day, did not follow my Trading Plan and had issues dealing with my father's sickness, I arrived the tribe meeting with some trepidation, knowing I may want to be on the hot seat to explore my feelings and worried what it may bring to the surface about me.

# The check-in and testimony of last month's Rocks Process

We share what our body are feeling at the moment of now. Most members share the usual aches and pains associated with trading and life.

Tribe chief printed out FAQ by one of the tribe member outlining the rocks process and so we launched into a recap of Ed's visit last month and tried to further understand and solidify the process.

We questioned last month's hot seat, to see if she benefited from the rocks process. She lost 7 lbs effortlessly, eating healthy without effort and were able to clarify the intention of her boy friend by sharing feelings. It is clear she was applying the beneficial behavior patterns from the Rocks Process.

I shared my believe that our check-in of updating on relationships, personal health and business helped develop trust among our members and keep us coming back. Often our tribe is the only group where we can share such deep feelings and stories with the safety of relentless support. I totally agree that hot seat or rocks process can be completed with only forms and no story, but sharing of our personal stories help make true friends of tribe members. (I wish our check-in would continue to include some personal updates in addition to the feelings at the moment).

# A New Rocks Process.

We then launched into a new rocks process with a member who is having pain in his back and neck. He give the current scenario of dissatisfied with his current position and impatient with his son to start taking over the family business. Tribe chief was volunteered to be the PM. We supported and amplified the hotseat's forms with encouragement and drumming. The PM asked him to freeze in the middle of one of his forms. The PM asked him to go back to an earlier time when he has similar feeling of distress. He related he had the same feeling when Bear Sterns was shutting down, all his hedge fund's money was with Bear Sterns. He was scared, feeling hopeless. We probed his feelings and his current rocks. He said, drinking, holding it in, going in to work on Saturday and Sunday even knowing there is nothing to be done. So we asked him the famous question "How is it working out for your?"

# The Rock Donors.

We then tried to locate the donors of these rocks! We asked him who modeled these behaviors for him. He said his father drinks a lot and holds everything in. His mother would worry a lot. So I proposed that we can proceed with the rocks process by re-enactment of receiving the rocks, forgiving the rocks back to the donors and the tribe giving him a new rock to deal with the situation.

# Re-enactment of scenario.

But he is not willing to pursuit the Bear Sterns scenario, he is more interested in the current situation which is giving him the hopeless feeling. He was forced into running the family business which he doesn't enjoy. He want his son to step in and take over the business so he can return to his trading. I volunteered to re-enact a typical scenario as his son. His son graduated college with athletic scholarship. So I get in the office late and say " Hi Dad, we had a great game last night !" and the Hotseat immediately launch into " XX , you know what time it is? You have a job to do, I need your here early, .... And how is the review of the YY files going, when will you get to ZZ ..." I was holding myself, feeling the intense pressure from the hot seat, I said nothing, and asked weakly "Why do I have to do all these?" And hot seat launch into "You know this is and will be your business. I want you to pick it up and not goof off ....". A tribe member whisper in my ear " Tell him you don't want the family business!" I just shrugged my shoulder. Then we asked the hot seat if the scenario is accurate. He said yes, his son just shrug his shoulder too.

# Roll playing check-out and a different perspective

I checked out as the son, and told the hot seat that, I really was angry with him and was ready to stood up and walk out as the lecture went on. I know it will be my business. I worry about it too! How am I going to handle it when you are out of the business? (I need help!). Another tribe member suggested that when the son sees all the hard work and pressure, his father does not enjoy the business himself, he do not want to be like his father, suffering in the business.

# Skipping part of the Rocks process

I suggested that the rocks process would now be looking for the rocks donors and progress to forgiving of the rocks and then the hot seat will come up with the help of the tribe, new and acceptable behavior patterns to be incorporated into a new rock. Due to time constrain, We did not enact the receiving of the old rocks from the donors, nor the forgiving of the old rocks.

# Creating the new Rock

We went directly to new tools. The tribe suggested sharing of feelings, positive reinforcement to the son, making time for play and bonding, use a routine to distinguish end of the work day and beginning of family time etc.

After the hotseat wrote all the new behavior pattern that he is willing to accept. I suggested that this is same as giving advice but the rocks process would require the hotseat to evaluate an accept the new behavior before putting them in the new rock. Then by enacting the same scenario with the new rock, hopefully, the new behavior patterns will became automatic when such feeling come up again. The tribe member sitting next to me say it seems you wanted him to reenact the scenario, why don't you just asked him. So I asked the hot seat to re-enact the same scenario and he did.

# Re-enactment of the scenario with the new rock.

I as the son walk in the office late again and greeted him with "Hi Dad, we have a great game last night, our team won!". And he said "Great son, I am glad you are here, your working here help me a great deal." I can't believe the happy feeling I have as the son (yearning approval from his father?). He offered me help with my work. And promised to cut short a workday once a week to enjoy some activity together.

# Final Check-out

The chief pointed out at the check out that the pain and frustration expression on the hotseat's face disappeared and he now have a happier and brighter face. We agree! (I was amazed at how easily the hotseat applied the new tools given him by the tribe, it is as if he has it all along, just waiting for the process to bring it out!) I feel benefited by this meeting, I am now more confident with the rocks process and that I feel I am ready to be a Process Manager. I also see we deal with similar problems in our lives. I am grateful that we have a chance to work all these out together.

June 17, 2013

Wants a Tribe in Singapore

Hi Ed

I am based in Singapore, and am quite keen to join a Trading Tribe, but noticed that none exists in Singapore as yet. Are there any I can join remotely? How do Tribes get started in locations where no one might have attended a Tribe meeting earlier?

Best regards,

June, 17, 2013

Wants Trading Advice

dear sir,

i ma from india
i have read about you in market wizard
and reallly impressed with your conversation

sir i am tarder from last four your
but i am not making any kiing

my quesation is:
my capital is = 10,000,000 INR. (20000 usa dollar)

i have six month saving of 4000 usa doller

1: how much i have to aocate to each trade
2: how many trade i have open at a time
3: shold i have to headge with option trade or short-long stratagy.
4: shoult i have to trade daily or depend upon your 5/20 mav single on daily basis
5: shoud i have to constanttration daily or i have to free mind by putting stop loss

i want your advice and further guidance in this matter

thnaking you,

June 16, 2013

Rock Process Feedback

Hi Ed,

I just took the hot seat last week and we did Rock Process. Here is my feedback:

When I was near the Freeze Point, the PM asked me to freeze and asked where have I felt that feelings before.

1) I am wondering if it is more helpful to ask what memory pops up instead. For instance, I couldn't really remember having felt exactly like that, but through my forms, it clearly brought out the memory of me in a basketball practice for the school's team in ninth grade. It was a bitter memory because I clearly felt inadequate and incompetent, and I quit the team very soon. This "quitting at first sign of struggle" has been a recurring theme, and I seem to be carrying a quitting rock.

2) I am not sure if it is the PM's bias or if it is a requirement that the Rock Process must locate a rock donor. The PM kept asking if I remember who gave me the rock of quitting or where I first learned it, and I thought really hard and I just couldn't remember. I am wondering if the presumption that there must be a rock donor and the insistence of pinpointing the exact event might derail the process by over-provoking the conscious mind.

As another example, we could have picked up a lot of subconscious cues from our environment that we just didn't know. We might be watching TV and it showed some violent scenes and we simply picked it up subconsciously. We might then naturally used that at school and found that there were some benefits for being a bully and making threats, thus further reinforcing the behavior. If that is the case, it would be difficult to pinpoint to a specific rock donor. and the insistence of finding one seems to make the process go in circle.

I am wondering if you can clarify how to proceed if the hot seat seems to have difficulty pinpointing a rock donor or specific event.

June 16, 2013

Authority Issues

Hi Ed,

Happy Fathers' Day!

Ed says, "You might consider taking your feelings about <connecting emotionally with your parents> to Tribe." (5/3/13)

When you mentioned that, I kinda scoffed at it. I thought I have a pretty good relationship with my parents. Not necessarily great, but not bad either. I give them credit for raising me and my sister. Overall, they did a pretty good job, especially considering the somewhat dysfunctional family they were raised.

I took the hot seat a week ago. We did a Rock Process, and the first memory that came up was me quitting at the face of adversity. The PM kept asking for more examples, and eventually, it brought back the memory of me lying about a chess tournament at school just so that I can get my dad's attention. Then, I was like Peter remembering Jesus' prediction that he would disown him three times before the rooster crowed, and I remembered what you mentioned and I am quite impressed.

Lastly, I'm glad that it seems like we are finally on the same page:

I say, "When we use spoken language as a form of communication, how intimate or controlling is less a function of wording or reframing ("I'd like to know how you are feeling" vs a question like "Would you mind telling me how you are feeling?") than a function of genuine care. When one speaks sincerely - when one truly cares - I can feel it and appreciate it. The form is in the act of speaking, not the way of phrasing." (FAQ, "Reframing", 3/22/13)

Ed says, "The choice of language does not seem to matter as much as the intention to establish rapport." (FAQ, "How To Get Information Without Asking Questions", 6/10/13)

June 16, 2013

Three-Pack

Dear Ed,

Page 68 of TTT book. About The Incorrigible Person. It makes me think what kind of person I really am.

I still have not much idea. I feel many don't have!

When Do I really start sharing my feelings sincerely? Sometimes I do. Many times I don't. I notice this pattern just like stock market patterns.

Ed's guidance about this is likely to help.

During School Days I learn very fast. In feelings aspect, I am pretty slow.
I notice this feeling also. I take its positive intention.

Please accept my best wishes & compliments for being the best tutor and guide I have ever come across.

From a wiser fellow!

-----

Dear Ed,

Incorrigible person does not claim Responsibility for his feelings.

Incorrigible person as per TTT book page 67 likes to stop during TTP.

I wonder what kind of other personalities also stop themselves from feeling and untie k-nots.

I face questionable feelings. What type I am. I have looked within. I have found ego deep inside that has helped me and ego that has not helped me.

Your guidance please.

Just wondering what Ed is likely to put as heading for this post! It might be "Wants to know who he is by asking others!" Also Ed might tell me to take my urge of predicting what Ed might put as heading to the Tribe!

I sincerely acknowledge your efforts to help others.

-----

Dear Ed,

Ed Says: Family: The Essential Tribe

Some of us enjoy the legacy of growing up in a happy family. Some of us have to work to re-create such a legacy.

This guidance is likely to help me as well as many to create a happy family. Thank u so much. This was the missing link I needed.

My daughter calls to wish on Happy Father's Day. I share one of my feelings with her. There is a request in it. She agrees very fast. She says OK POP.

I wonder about my approach. Have I released control?

I wonder how is Ed, who is so far away from most contributors on FAQ, able to pin point the matter - issue so clearly and throw clarity by his replies.

I wonder about it, feel good that Ed is able to! I know he can. I acknowledge that fact!

Best wishes,

June 15, 2013

Planning to Attend Austin Tribe

Dear Ed,

I am happy to confirm my attendance to the upcoming second Tribe meeting!

I am mainly happy and enthusiastic,with a hint of fear and anxiety!

I wonder if you can confirm your intention to host the meeting in Bastrop, in which case I intend to book a hotel there for Wednesday's night, as I am scheduled to land on Wednesday evening (otherwise I'll book in Austin). I would also like to know how far in advance I can get to the meeting place.

I also wonder whether there are any rules or customs about attendance that you may have shared during the first meeting.

I talk with my girlfriend about my projects,ideas and dreams and I enjoy the process a lot!

I realize how important it is to just have someone who is willing to listen without judging and to provide support and encouragement when needed!I enjoy feeling ambitious in a positive sense, with the focus being on building something meaningful rather than on accumulating money or power for the sake of it.

I really feel that what I want to do is build a successful fund management business.

I really want the profits of my business to be the reflection of the value that I contribute to society, as the Austrian School teaches: I find this to be a wonderful and profound, even poetic representation of my company's ledger.

I want to build a working environment where freedom and responsibility go hand in hand and where people are valued as human beings and their desires, needs, wants and dreams are important.

I am deeply influenced by Ricardo Semler's experience and I am strongly convinced that adopting a model that allows people the freedom to contribute their own unique gifts to my company is going to prove not only very enjoyable, but also very profitable.

Openness, clear communication of intentions and freedom are also great ways of separating those who do want to contribute from those that do not. I do not want to build an army of grey suits ready to obey my orders. I do not even want to build a business around myself. I want to build a business around a powerful idea and around important values and principles that I feel strongly about.

I want to use my tribe work to go through the emotional obstacles that stand in between. I intend to prepare a list of issues and their emotional manifestations before the upcoming Austin tribe meeting.

I also intend to share with FAQ my latest Amsterdam tribe experience before next Thursday.

Thank you for your support and guidance,

June 15, 2013

Situation

Dear Ed,

Recall childhood experience.

We hear Neighbor threatening her child.

Let Dad come home. He will fix you. I will tell him what you have done!

I look at my mother with anxiety. She seems least bothered. But she notices my expressions. Comes to me and hugs me. Says that neighbor is wrong with her approach. She says neighbor does not know what she is doing. I feel assured and being taken care of. I feel grateful to her. I reciprocate hug.

I miss those moments of childhood.

Ed does not threaten anybody! He just advices contributors to take their feelings to Tribe. They feel taken care of. They feel assured. Ed continues to guide the contributors as if they are in some ways related to him.

May be in a fatherly way.

Thanks Ed for being such a figure in our lives.

June 14, 2013

Checking In

Hi Ed,
I want to say hi to you and share this verse from a song:

I would love to live
Like a river flows,
Carried by the surprise
Of its own unfolding.

I am still sorting the contracts from strongest to weakest.

June 14, 2013

Caste Warfare

Dear Ed,

I feel like sharing this with you on FAQ.

Somehow it is very long. You may consider putting it on FAQ if you feel like.

I do not attend my school on time during my tenth in 1982 due to family issues. I am captain of my School TT team and a Sport Captain. I stand 1st in academics but have started losing interest due to other priorities.

I reach school late one day. Nobody bothers to ask me why. This has become a routine. School Principal and vice principals are aware of my family problems and so I am not questioned by anyone.

I enter my class late and there stands one new tutor. He asks me who I am and I say "student". He rudely asks me why I am late. A student who is from a rich family, comes last in academics tells the new tutor that all the time I am always late. He has grudge against me. He takes advantage of the situation. Strike when the iron is hot seems to be his motto.

Tutor asks me rudely whether I know which subject is being taught. I feign my ignorance innocently. he starts getting angry. It shows on his face.

Tutor orders me to go to my seat and stand on the bench and not sit. Nobody in my school has ever behaved like that before with me. I feel being humiliated. I feel being insulted.

I refuse. I go to my bench and sit.

I know the reason of that boy's grudge against me. Being the school monitor I punish him for being late on many occasions. I am just following school rules on my school's Principal's instructions. I am now late comer. He feels sincerely and of course with the revenge in his mind tells our new tutor "See! This is what he does with all the tutors. He never ever obeys their orders"

Tutor shows anger towards me with the idea of using his authority and power to punish me. His face is red. He tells me again to stand on my bench. Again I refuse. The classroom becomes tense. He now starts shouting at me and threatens me with dire consequences if I do not obey his order. I have my School Principal and vice principal's support. I know they do not let me down.

Vice principal who happens to be from my caste and who is aware of my family problems rushes to our classroom to see what is happening.

I feel relived. I know she will deal with this tutor. She is very strict by nature and students are afraid of her. She demands to know what is happening. Grudging boy complains to her that I did not obey new tutor's orders.

She addresses that tutor not to bother about me and leaves the class immediately. A sense of relief rushes in my body. An authority figure has to listen to a higher authority figure. New tutor does not like what has happened. He wants to exercise his authority power over me. I fear he really wants to. His face shows that. He is likely to take his revenge if I give him any opportunity. I do not want that to happen. I get my chance.

He writes a maths question on the blackboard but fails to explain to us how to solve it. After few futile attempts. he then informs us that question itself is wrong. I feel annoyed at him. He is a tutor and has come to our school and does not know how to solve maths equation. I challenge him arrogantly and openly having tasted the blood.

Again due to loud voices of tutor both Principal and Vice Principal now come to my classroom. Again demand for explanation from my side. I get up from my seat and inform our principal that tutor does not know how to solve the maths problem. Tutors face is embarrassed. I inform him that many form the class can solve that question but to spare the shame feeling that tutor might feel, they have refrained from doing so. Principal asks me whether I know how to solve. I say yes and inform her that many in class can. I request my best friend to solve it for the tutor. He objects. He wants me to solve it. My friend is allowed to solve it. He does it very easily. I know that he can solve because I know his ability. He is like a scientist.

New tutor is red faced. Leaves the classroom along with Principal. He is chucked out that same day. We do not see him next day. With ex School Principal's best guidance I score best marks again in my tenth finals.

I feel triumphed. May be then ego sets in, in some compartment of my mind. Due to this ego, I understand very slowly what Ed has been stating till now. Oh. But better late than never. I have found again someone who can teach and guide me. Someone who is very knowledgeable. Someone whom I respect at the same level of Warren Buffett and Charlie Munger in the present moment. I read FAQ.

I feel good to share this email because my ego seems to be dissolving. It is mainly due to Ed's guidance. My efforts play second role. I appreciate that Ed is really willing to keep patience with willing students. I feel grateful.

Thanks again Ed.

June 14, 2013

Freeze

Dear Ed,

When I write this I feel like writing to the Editor of FAQ.

Since I have started really reflecting on my life, If I am asked suddenly to freeze and asked What constitutes My Essentials, these would be on the top of my list:

1. Reading FAQ and becoming a better person.

2. Becoming rational and wiser day by day by feeling my feelings, taking their positive intentions, benefiting from it to earn a right livelihood.

3. Spread Ed's knowledge.

June 14, 2013

Accumulating Issues

Dear Ed,

I refer to your reply dated June 14, 2013 Hugs.

Thanks for not replying to me to take my feel and need for hugs to the Tribe. I have enough accumulated stuff to take to the Tribe.

My puzzles of my own behavior and of others are getting solved slowly but surely. I feel wiser. May be my ego of some kind has not allowed me to fully understand what Ed has said and explained in past through FAQ. Better late than never is the feeling I have.

Please take care of your health and wealth and please continue to guide the contributors.

June 14, 2013

Report From a Brain Researcher:
On Observing Her Own Stroke

Dear Ed,

maybe these presentations are interesting for you. They show some links between emotions, thinking, the now, the concepts of past and future, and how the brain handles it.

>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PzT_SBl31-

>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UyyjU8fzEY

Best regards,

June 14, 2013

Hugs

Dear Ed,

I refer to your June 12, 2013 reply.

Hugging as a Pattern Interrupt.

I recall instantly my own experience with wife (mine!).

I feel hugging and my wife does not like the feeling or the experience of it. I wonder : why? Now I know the answer.

I notice that my friends parents hug me when we meet but not my In Laws.

Ed says: Typically, these rocks pre-date the marriage, and originate from parental donors.

Thanks Ed again for bringing this to my awareness.

Please accept my hug and best wishes and thanks for all the guidance.

Hoping to gain more wisdom from you in the present moment of now!

June 13, 2013

Observing the Mind

Dear Ed,

Sharing more feelings. Today's incident:

Thoughts are storming my mind. I feel meditating. I know everybody gets what they want.

I become calm. I sit comfortably on a chair. I close my eyes. I let my thoughts storm my mind. I observe those thoughts. I take their positive intentions. I reflect back upon life. I feel happy to reflect. Reflections bring clarity. I feel happy. Brain seems to be under defragmenting mode. Works better now!

Storm slows down. Storm dies. After few minutes I open my eyes.

I send this email.

Thanks a lot again and again.

June 13, 2013

Sharing with Son

Dear Ed,

I feel lucky to read Market Wizards and then pay attention to your interview. I read page 153 and I note that Jack says it appears to him that psychology and its application in helping people solve their problems has more important element in Ed's life than market analysis and trading.

I now acknowledge Ed's guidance and how it is so important to me. I am grateful to him.

Page 172 in MW. Win or lose, everybody gets what they want out of the market. I now realize this sentence has so much depth. At least I do not realize when I read it for the first time.

Michael Marcus's remark on page 152 first line about Ed has made me very curious. A friend pushes me in the direction I want to go: read FAQ. I get what I want. I read FAQ for the year 2003. It takes me many months. Still, A long way to go .

I share my stock ideas with my son. Most importantly I share my feelings with him. He reciprocates. Both feel good. What a change in a short time of reading FAQ. It is the beginning.

Thanks once again.

June 13, 2013

Rejuvenating Feelings

Dear Ed,

Your sharing your knowledge with so much clarity helps me understand more and more.

As informed in past I lose three people close to me on 11 Sep 1985. I feel shocked.

After reading FAQ replies, now I realize I had shut down.

I refuse to be part of stock market crowd who most of the time is wrong.

I refuse to be part of stock market frenzies.

I refuse to be part of stock bubbles and euphoria. I do not believe in greater fool theory.

I refuse to feel my feeling till now. Now I have started realizing what Ed Seykota means about feeling feelings. My feelings are now so much important to me. I take their positive intentions.

I wonder how Ed is able to pin point his views so clearly though he is so far away from many who request his views.

Thanking Ed once again.

June 13, 2013

TTP and Factory Visit

Dear Ed,

I feel to share the benefit of recent post on FAQS.

Your reply dated June 10, 2013 helps me build a long term rapport with a factory owner.

Ed Says : In the intimacy-centric model we obtain information by respecting the other person's sovereignty, by letting the other person know our situation and by testing to determine the other person's willingness to engage.

I visit a factory that supplies to [major retailers] from [Country].

I am meeting factory owner for the first time. At the start of the meeting, he seems to be very reluctant. I explain to him what I want to know and why I want to know from him. He now seems to understand what I do for my investing research.

What has happened at the start is that I let him know first why I have requested an appointment with him.

I let him know of my situation. I ask him whether it is convenient to him to share his industry insights with me. He now feels comfortable. He understands my request.

He along with his factory manager tell me what I want to know. He shows me the factory and I understand the manufacturing process. This accumulated knowledge is likely to benefit me.

Thanks again Ed.

Best wishes,

June 12, 2013

Hugging as a Pattern Interrupt

Dear Ed,

I am excited to report progress in marital counseling with two people who are projecting and assuming - and being blind and deaf to each others' feelings.

As I have been doing more often since learning about your intimacy-centric model of communication, I ask if they are willing to focus on their experience of one specific moment of NOW that happens virtually every evening when the husband arrives home from work.

They have been through 6 months of tension and fear since their 23 year old son has moved back into their home after several hospitalizations for bipolar disorder, including an arrest and an upcoming court date.

The husband reports beginning to worry about what has or has not happened that day as soon as he leaves work to begin his drive home. The wife reports that he walks in the door with a barrage of questions, none of which is "How are you?" She becomes defensive and their daily dance begins, leaving them more alienated from each other than before they met at the door.

They agree to focus on what they are feeling as he walks in: he says he is "scared", and she says she is "anxious." After some further exploration we decide that they will attempt a hug rather than speaking, and that it will be longer than just a quick squeeze.

The husband has a big smile on his face, and says "That is all I need!" The wife, however, begins to look very uncomfortable and says "I am starting to feel more anxious, like I am suffocating."

I ask her to stay with the feeling, if she is willing, and tell us what comes to her mind. She immediately associates the long hug with being controlled and physically abused by her first husband, whom she divorced years prior. She says, "That is so strange, I never think about him and thought I was past all that."

Her husband then shares, looking at his wife with trepidation, the fear that if he tells her he is scared, she will reject him and retreat, leaving him to handle everything by himself.

So instead, he goes into control-centric questioning to fulfill his "expected" role as the one in charge. His wife, meanwhile, feels ignored and invalidated since he is not asking her about her feelings, and he becomes just one more problem she has to handle by herself.

Now that they are aware of the many feelings that are going on at the door, they agree that they will share them rather than acting them out, and see what happens. Husband and I both validate the wife's right to back away from the hug as she needs to, while sharing what she is feeling as she does it. Wife and I both validate the husband's desire to hug his wife as a partner, not as a frightened child, while at the same time sharing his feelings of fear.

They are excited as they leave the session looking forward to their shared experiment and to the feeling of connecting rather than controlling.

Despite my many years of experience, I don't think I would have responded to this couple in this way without my new-found knowledge of TTP!

Thanks again.

June 11, 2013

Gains Strength From Others' Stories

Dear Ed,

The chaotic emotions of a 24 year marriage dissolving, intimacy forever gone, reassuring my children, moving on my OWN for the first time since age 30.

Thank You Ed.

Reading your supportive, provocative, brilliant statements / answers in FAQ, reading my story as told by your friends played a large part in girding my loins.

I have completed this cycle emotionally, physically (I lost 85 pounds and have KEPT it off for a year), now God's pieces drop in place career wise. I am next up for a Wholesaling position with [firm, city].

This major marital loss, stopped me out of a 24 year position. It took 2 sober years to pull the trigger. Your insight, point of view, clarity and homework remain invaluable assets. Thank you.

June 11, 2013

Wants the Essentials

Dear Ed Seykota,

So is being humble the very essence of conversation in intimacy centric relationship? Can you please share other essentials at your choice and convenience?

It seems being humble and becoming a better person and trader go together.

Ed says: In the intimacy-centric model we obtain information by respecting the other person's sovereignty, by letting the other person know our situation and by testing to determine the other person's willingness to engage.

For my investing purpose I regularly meet Mds of companies and take their interviews. Your above comment is likely to help me improve the quality of my questions and hopefully get better quality answers.

More I am reading FAQs more I am learning.

Best wishes to a great guide.

Thanks a lot.

June 11, 2013

Wants to Join a Tribe

Dear Ed,

Just read June 10, 2013 How To Get Information Without Asking Questions

Thank you so much for your reply.

Apart from the Mumbai Tribe, are there any other operational tribes in India? In past I had sent emails to other Indian Tribes but they all seem to be closed. There was not a single response from any of those.

I would like to take my curiosity to understand control centric attitude to the tribe and benefit from its positive intentions and surely move more and more towards intimacy centric relations.

Pl inform at your convenience.

Best wishes and thanks again.

June 11, 2013

Rags and Riches

Dear Ed,

1988 I am with a girl friend (I marry her in 1990) and my childhood friends. A close friend comments to my GF that I do not have dress sense during school days during 1975-1982.

My family is passing through tough times and money is scarce. Mother buys a piece of cloth in sale. So with extra fabric after making a full pant for me, a half pant is also stitched by my mother. I wear full as well as the half pant of the same color-fabric.

As a boy in school I never ever realize nor I am aware that my friends are wearing expensive clothes as they are from very rich families. I score brilliant marks. I am my school's sports captain. That is most important to me.

But my friend's remarks hurt me deeply in 1988. I feel insulted. He is not aware that money is scarce during my school days and that my father is not keeping well and the family has debts. I do not share my problems with him.

I decide immediately in 1988 to have a wardrobe full of 50 T Shirts and 25 Shirts and 25 pants. This is achieved in 2010 only when I remember that incident.

But actually something else is happening without my being aware of it consciously. I am motivated by "away from" motivation. I do not like scarcity. I do not like poverty. I do not like receiving bills. So I make money and pay many of my club membership, RCI, Time Share fees, electricity, domestic gas bills much in advance. Some fees of timeshare memberships like of rci.com are paid till 2031.

I start becoming aware of my dislikes for scarcity. I now take its positive intention and feel happy about it in the present moment of NOW.

Thanks Ed.