Nov 20, 2013

Tribe Series Reflections - Developing Rapport and Helping Others

Ed,

What have I accomplished in this Austin tribe series?

I notice I am much more connected with others and I observe when I am connecting and developing rapport and when I am not. I gain the general feeling of being OK and the urge to move ahead with goals and plans. I feel much more peaceful in general. I lose part of the weight I want to lose and have some remaining to lose.

How do I intend to serve others?

I plan to develop some manage accounts and then to develop a fund within a year or so.

First, I intend to serve those who invest by multiplying their assets and providing a degree of protection from inflation.,

Second, I feel the desire to help those less fortunate and to create a nonprofit with that mission in mind. When I think of those less fortunate I think of orphans and those who have been abandoned in general. Children that have lost parents or have been abandoned are particularly vulnerable. A nonprofit I create can help others directly or work through proven, efficient organizations that are helping others.

Nov 20, 2013

San Francisco IFTA Speech

Dear Chief Ed,

Is there a way to access your above recent presentation ?

Sincerely,

Nov 20, 2013

Sick

Ed,

I am sick, so I am not going to make the meeting tomorrow. I am looking forward to the next series of meetings. I am surprised at my intention to be sick. I am going to e-mail FAQ about goals and progress.

Thanks,

Nov 20, 2013

Tribe Series Reflections - Loving His Job

Hi Chief,

In last meeting, you ask each member to have a summary on the progress after the entire tribe meeting session. When I look back, I would say there are a lot to celebrate. Here are a few:

1. Serving other people. For years I envy full time traders who make a living by trading. I hate my own profession as an software engineer for I have to work harder on two full time jobs. Sometime I even feel shameful for stuck on a non-promising career. After a lot experience and Aha in tribe meeting, now I totally accept myself. I start to love my job where I serve other professional, sharp and hard working American engineers. I use my TTP skill on my software job and build a good relationship with my boss and coworkers.

Now I am seeing my software skill is actually a great edge over other traders. It not only helps my trading research, it also provides steady income to help me live through volatile market and drawdowns, so I stick to my system better.

Now I am also seeking opportunity to manage fund, so I can serve other people even more. I truly believe by getting out of intra-day trading swamp. I can be both a successful engineer and a successful fund manager. Everything is just right for me now.

2. Commitment. I start to realize that last few years I waste my effort to find system to get ride of drawdowns. It doesn't exist. By embracing feelings of drawdowns, I am seeing a more clear, and easier trading life style. The commitment to take the risk and go with longer trend make my trade decision simpler, and the back testing confirms this method.

3. Intimacy-centric relationship. By attending Austin tribe, I learn hands on Rock Process and find the miraculous application of its principles into real-time application in family, work, trading and more. I start to have new habit to focus on sharing feeling in every second when I relate to others. I like the deployment of the feeling antenna, for it helps me to be less likely taken away by what others actually are saying to me or what they are doing to me, and detect and receiving the feeling behind the happenings. I also start to do more sending when I get emotional and it's helping others to know my feeling and reach agreement and build rapport. I clearly feel what I can achieve by proactively participate the life flow and change reality.

4. Your visit to my local tribe significantly helps the local tribe work. More members have mastery of the Rocks Process management and we are building a life time bonding among members to help each other to grow. I feel a lot assurance to have local tribe members and friends to support me when I have a issue to work on, and I am glad to support them too. I thank you again for your generosity to help local tribe members!

Thank you for hosting Austin TT meeting session.

Nov 20, 2013

Risk On / Risk Off

Ed,

I begin to wonder if "risk-on / risk-off" is the market reflection of the psychological state of schizophrenia and how this might be one of the drivers of whipsaws!

If so, aggregation of directional emotions - hope, greed, envy and their counter parties of fear, fright and despair are necessary for trends to start, sustain, and then reverse.

Regards,

Nov 20, 2013

Writing as a Form

Dear Chief Ed,

To a field of unrelenting support, I take it to Ed and to FAQ Tribe. I first speak up for the boy, Not right. The man say it is right for him to have been battered by his father as a boy but knows it is not right.
My form is wet eyes and nose. A tightness in my throat and I exhale. I know where to go for help. I feel my eyes move up, an image of Ed appears. I take it to Ed, to the Chief. I check in. I drum on the keyboard and the letters come up and out.

In virtual conversation our friend has brought our attention to himself as a battered boy and I feel rapid eye directions and stomach contractions. I seek out the Chief for guidance. I am not an experienced Tribe member. I read Tribe for a number of years and practice its principles as best I can even though I do not have formal tribe experience. I interact with people without requiring them or me to be in a formal Tribe.
I practice not projecting my opinions and feelings on my friend. I exhale and open the space in a field of acceptance for self and other.

Part of my form right now is this written message. I use present tense language like Ed teaches. It helps me stay in the now with my field of now feelings.

I imagine my friend and I in an environment of total unrelenting support. I imagine my self there with the support of Ed and the Tribe and all of us supporting each other in our life. In this way I take both the boy and myself into Tribe without requiring my friend to participate in this virtual experience. I am then able to explore my own battered child without imposing my own emotional responses to his. I am grateful to Ed and all the people who have created the Tribe.

I hear the banjo.

Nov 20, 2013

Tribe Report - Intimacy with an Edge

Ed,

The first HS has a feeling of someone on top of him or squeezing him. It is a feeling that he struggles with. As we get into the process he remembers his grandma smothering him and doing inappropriate [things to] him many times. Because his grandmother is so domineering and won't back down he sees no way to use TTP to set boundaries and come to an intimate understanding.

A surrogate became the HS and was able to get an intimate agreement but it wasn't real to the HS as he couldn't imagine it working that way. The role play was ran again but with the help of a story Ed had told the tribe earlier ... about how he taught his daughter about what may happen during dating. His rule for her was that her body was her personal property and that she controls what happens to it and also what she lets happen to her body while dating. This story was remembered during the process and the surrogate used this rule to gain an agreement with his grandmother during role play. To the outside it may not appear to be intimate but by demanding his grandmother respect his personal property it was.

Then the HS begins the role play and quickly begins to set his boundaries in a way that left no questions as to what he was going to let happen. It was shocking to hear what was said but the feelings he had as a boy relating to his grandmother was very real and intense. Once the role play was over I found it very helpful to see such an intense stand yet was intimate. The HS never used accusatory language mainly focused on feelings.

I also found interesting [to discus an answer] to the HS issue before the role play. It was as if the Fred of the HS had to communicate to the tribe on how to assist the HS in finding an answer or resolution to the issue. This process was quite an experience for myself.

We really didn't have a second process. I explained a situation I had with someone in business that may end up causing us to litigate this through court. I came to the conclusion I didn't mind fighting this person since I have so much disgust towards him. He is despised by so many people and has been a part of some problems for my family in the past that I am wanting to fight.

A resolution to the issue hasn't been found yet it has been almost 3 weeks since the last communication with this person and the next action is up to him, we have not heard anything. If he does nothing then that means he realizes he would likely lose in court and has dropped the issue. Then I decide if I want to take another route and get some of the issues resolved that we have.

Thank You

Nov 20, 2013

Tribe Session Reflections - Asking For What He Wants

Hi Ed,

This coming Thursday is our last tribe meeting and I am reflecting on what I accomplish during the past few months.

I work on issues about embarrassment, disappointment, staying under the radar, making commitments, asking for what I want and taking risks. The issues I bring to the hot seat stop me from achieving what I want. Now I see issues or "problems" as opportunities to grow. I grow as a person working through my issues.

In my daily life, I notice that I react different to some situations. I am aware of my reactions after they happen. For example, in situations where I previously blush and shut down, now I see myself smiling and making rapport with people. In the past few months, I feel that I develop skills to establish rapport with other people.

In situations where before I set dramas for disappointments, now I see myself checking with people to know if they are willing to meet deadlines and commitments. I notice that I stop making long term plans with a close friend who cannot meet agreements.

I am asking for what I want and I am sharing my preferences. Last week, as soon as I realize that my boss plans to move me and my team to a different space in the same office, I share my preferences with him. I tell him that I currently seat next to the windows and that I would like to keep the natural light. After making some arrangements with other teams, he assigns me a new seat next to the windows. Before, I probably do not say anything and feel angry after he moves the team, or just share my preferences when it is already too late.

I also feel comfortable sharing my feelings. I actually like to do this. I notice that I prefer to share my feelings with certain people. On the other end, I notice that sometimes I do not ask for other people's feelings. It seems that this part is bit more difficult for me, and I need to continue practicing it.

Another thing that surprises me is that I am more aware when I try to control events. Initially, I think that maybe I am becoming more controlling than before. Then, I realize that the difference might be that now I am aware.

I find amazing that each tribe meeting has a theme. We all have similar issues or "problems". I relate to almost all of my tribe member's processes. I am also grateful for the opportunity to support them with their processes. When I role play during their processes, I see things from a different perspective and I gain many insights.

In the tribe, after observing our superb process manager and also managing a process myself, I learn new skills to manage processes. I feel confident and I am looking forward to support other people with their processes.

Finally, I feel grateful for the opportunity to join the tribe, and I want to thank you and the tribe members for their support.

Thanks

Nov 20, 2013

From Infidelity to Commitment

Ed,

In my last post revolving my wife you offer a suggestion to take my feelings on infidelity and intimacy to tribe.

A tribe meeting has come and gone and issues I am hot about about don't seem to relate to the above mentioned topics but then the under Fred network has a way of bringing issues to a head.

I again begin to feel feelings of distrust, anxiety and shutdown mode in conjunction with my wife which I have shared on FAQ's (see Incommunicado Wife).

I share these feelings with my wife she receives me, but as is the way of the under Fred network dramas come up that cause me to feel these unresolved feelings with higher frequency and strength. I feel sort of like a mad man. I lie down and concentrate on these feelings now...

I'm back. The forms associated with these feelings are a feeling of increasing fiery pit of anxiety growing in my belly and then works to my hands. I start to rub my thumbs against the side of my index finger as both hands form a semi fist. I feeling burning in my left thumb and index finger almost like I'm gripping something heavy that is about to fall out of my grip. I intensify this form several times and it dissolves as I form a fist with my right hand and flail wildly once. I lie there calm with a buzz overcoming my body.

I come to an Aha. I have used sex/masturbation as a medicinal response in the past when met with stressful situations. Being alone here has been stressful and with no wife around and with intentions on remaining faithful, I have turned to masturbation as a way to medicate which is quickly becoming a less and less satisfying alternative to intercourse. So I can see myself creating a drama to release me from my vows so that I can medicate with another woman.

My past of infidelity dating multiple women so that I would always have a supply of steady medication has provided fodder for stories in my head of what my wife "could" be doing.

Not loving myself or not knowing how to love myself, needing constant validation from others seems to be a constant theme.

A fellow FAQ contributor who comments on my original Incommunicado Wife post says 'it's about self and not "loving" the other person'. I am puzzled have I loved this woman and made a vow only so that I can always have my medication?

I find myself wondering if I know what unconditional love and intimacy is. Furthermore the thought that I need constant validation supplies more confusion on top of the already confused state I'm in.

Just rereading this I feel optimistic that I have the frame work to change "my lack of self confidence and need for sex as medication" TTP offers other resources I can use if I am willing.

I think I will rest now. Thank you for listening

Nov 20, 2013

Ham License

Hi Ed !

You asked for info on getting an amateur radio license as part of an overall self-sufficiency plan, as it will be a remaining way to communicate if the internet goes dark. You can take the test here: http://www.arrl.org/find-an-amateur-radio-license-exam-session With your MIT engineering background, should be a snap. To do a bit of prep review, you can take a crash course here: http://www.kb6nu.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/2010_Tech_Study_Guide.pdf Ideally you can later move on to get your general class license, then the entire world is yours.

I'm sitting for the exam this Saturday morning at the Saratoga Fire Station.

best regards,

Nov 20, 2013

Tribe Report: Breathing Easier

Ed,

I take the Hotseat at a recent Tribe Meeting. I wish to move closer in a primary relationship and find I have a repeating pattern of getting somewhat close and then panicking and withdrawing or chasing my partner away.

The Tribe gets me into a "protective" form in which I contract my shoulders and curl up in a protective posture and also tighten my facial features. At the "Freeze Point" I associate the form with my early, possibly pre-verbal, days, with my grandmother laying on me or hugging me and / or doing things that make my breathing difficult and gives me a sense of wanting to get out from under her.

Another Tribe Member helps to role play the incident by pushing down on me with a pillow. I manage to conjure up deep feelings of suffocating, fearing for my life and wanting to escape and get away. I see how projecting these feelings in current relationships can prevent intimacy from forming - so I feel we have an important issue, at least for me.

When I receive the Heart Rock, I notice I do not know how to apply it in the situation. I sense my grandmother as having her own agenda and not open to intimate conversation with me, so sharing feelings does not seem to fit. The Tribe arranges a demo for me, in which another Tribe Member stands in for me and uses the Heart Rock, establishes rapport and frees himself from the situation.

When I try it, I also ask for my surrogate grandmother to come on with more of an edge, going for her own self-interest and disregarding my pleas for mercy. I eventually resort to getting angry and threatening to bite her if she continues to suffocate me. That seems to work to get her attention. As soon as I have a connection, I proceed to share my feelings of fear and disgust and get her feelings about wanting to hold me and pet me. The situation resolves nicely.

These developments lead to a general discussion in the Tribe of how to handle a predator. We conclude that sometimes you have to use the "sharp end" of the Heart Rock. Also, by using the intimacy-centric communication model I may wind up attracting less predators in the first place, so I might get less adversaries and more allies. Since the meeting I notice myself relaxing about close relationships. I notice feeling closer to people in all my relationships, personal, casual and business, without conscious effort.

I also notice a curious side-effect. With my old rocks in play and with my guard up, I tend to focus on the sexual part of the relationship, since it has a pleasurable result, a beginning and, most importantly, an end, after which I can disengage and separate from further danger. Since the process, I find myself open to and even longing for more just-hanging-out-and-connecting in addition to sexual intimacy.

For the first time I can recall, I feel I might actually have some chance of having a caring two-way relationship, that lasts more than temporarily, although I assume I still have a lot to learn.

I wish to thank my Tribe members and process manager for getting me through this.

Nov 19, 2013

Austin Tribe Report - The Point of the Heart Rock

I attend my 2nd Austin Tribe meeting.

We do a feelings check in & then go around the room again & report successes.

In feelings, I report that while at work writing up my current ETF trend-following system I get very uptight. Tightness and tingling in my torso, head, arms and hands. Really surprising to me. Comes out of nowhere (Fred). I'm eating my lunch as I continue to write up and I don't enjoy my salad. Surprising to me.

I report that (1) I'm in sync with all my trading systems – my holdings match my models, (2) I've picked R as the 1st programming language I'll work with for further system development and (3) I am presenting my current ETF trend-following system at work and propose to roll it out at year end.

[R Background: I watch the You Tube video "Wall Street Code" that details High Frequency Trading shenanigans. At these points in the video {2:42,10:04,29:15,40:44} programmers are portrayed with a list of their software tools. R, mySQL & Python are commonly used.]

Ed asks for issues to work on: "Is there something that you want to accomplish?" Frame it as [current state + (problem & feelings) = goal]. When you remove the problem/feelings then your current state becomes your goal.

Restated by me 3X: When I stop {projecting feelings I want to avoid} as {my problem} then my problem goes away. When I stop avoiding those (protective) feelings then my problem goes away. Is there something that I want to accomplish with strong feelings blocking my way?

This is how we develop what to work on tonight.

I have two things on my mind (1) The tremendous tension I have while writing up my system and (2) A general problem setting goals, working on projects, feeling overwhelmed.

But I don't think they are clearly specified as problems so I don't ask to work on them.

Two Tribe members have issues they want to work on.

I don't have a clear recollection of the first Hotseat (HS) but essentially we help the HS clarify that he has a disagreement with business partner, he has a good feel for his financial downside and he wishes to proceed with his claims. He appreciates the give and take with the Tribe that helps clarify the issues for him.

The second HS is more involved. I don't have a full grasp of the hot seat and rocks processes. Here it is, as best I can recall.

HS states that he has difficulty being as open, loving and intimate with spouses/partners as he is with, say, his children and wishes to work on that.

A key event is recalled: When HS was three, his grandmother (GM) would play some sort of game with him that he found very oppressive.

HS agrees to role play. Tribe members are selected to be the process manager (PM) and mother. I will be the GM.

We begin replaying the event. I grab pillows to play the role of the oppressive GM. As I approach HS he gets uptight and begins to shutdown. I lean on him with the pillows.

HS states: "Getting squeezed." "Can't breathe." "I want to get out of here." "Someone's on top of me." "I want out of this deal." "Pressure on my back."

HS agrees to accept a heart rock as a replacement for his shutdown rock but when PM asks if he'd like to replay the event he says "No." He doesn't know how to use the heart rock in this situation.

So I role play the GM with another Tribe member, the 1st HS, who shares his feelings and that stops GM from oppressing.

PM asks HS if he'd like to role play know and he still says "No". And something like: "GM is mean and wouldn't be stopped by a three-year old sharing feelings. (Evidently, I'm a too-nice GM.)

One of the tribe members remember Ed teaching his daughter that she owns her body and no one can touch it without her permission. This is an eye-opener that fits this situation well.

1st HS asks to role play again. This time GM is more aggressive and won't stop. So 1st HS, role playing the three-year old, jumps to his feet and demands that GM stops and I do.

This leads HS to an interesting insight… The heart rock has a point. If sharing feelings doesn't work then HS may/can/must use the point to defend himself.

The HS role plays again. This time as GM approaches and won't back down, HS aggressively verbally defends himself and GM stops. HS seems relieved.

PM checks everyone out.

My Accomplishments for this Cycle of the Austin Trading Tribe

I've learned a lot about TTP starting with the TTP seminar in September and two Austin Tribe meetings.

At this second meeting I've seen a HS use TTP to clarify a difficult business matter.

And I know that if I want to use TTP to help me I should bring specific problems to the Tribe.

Personally, I "feel my feelings" a bit better. For example, I may notice I'm getting uptight. I acknowledge those feelings. And I get back to my task.

Also, I take time to ask for and listen to other's feelings. Doesn't sound like much but it's new for me and it feels good.

Right Livelihood:

Ed also asks us to think about what Right Livelihood we will undertake going forwards and bring it to the next Tribe meeting, the last of this cycle.

Right livelihood benefits others. What do I commit to do in serving others? I recall Ed saying there is magic in serving others.

And this week in my twitter feed I find "@DalaiLama 14 Nov -- Not only is your own happiness and welfare related to others, but the more you help them, the happier you will be."

Sounds good to me!

Nov 18, 2013

Newbury Tribe Update - Pollinating to London - Life and Death Struggle

Dear Ed,

I attend and take part in a meeting of the London Tribe on Thursday.

I am welcomed and feel comfortable among an experienced tribe. My intention attending the London Tribe is to observe, take part and gain experience to grow personally and assist my friends in the Newbury Tribe by improving our process.

At the London Tribe meeting I observe the first person on the hot seat experience his forms and process and really go for it. I notice he is relaxed and happy when he completes. I feel confident to go for it myself. I take the hot seat and pick up on forms from my last hot seat. I push my boundaries after encouragement from others at the meeting and experience an Aha.

I recall being thrown into a swimming pool by an adult when I am 7 years old. I am not a confident swimmer and I sink to the bottom before recovering and swimming to the surface. It is a life and death struggle for me. I survive and climb out the pool. Those watching me cheer and tell me well done for surviving. I like the cheering / praise but feel abandoned and afraid. My mother praises but doesn't comfort me. She is very proud of me.

Two days after tribe I go for a long run and have further insights. I notice I cause drama for myself and others as I turn everyday events into "life and death" struggles. I like surviving and getting praise. I don't like feeling the fear of drowning and being abandoned. Immediately I realize most events in my life are not life and death struggles and that its OK not too struggle.

I suddenly feel more comfortable abandoning things that are not good for me. Cutting my losses so to speak.

I notice an immediate improvement at work where I am "drowning" with too much to do. I have too much to do and although I am very busy this is not life threatening. If work isn't done I won't be abandoned or die.

It feels good to let things go and to tell others that I am afraid I have too much to do and that there might be delays. I become aware I take on too much work with the intention to receive praise for struggling.

Today, out of the blue a deadline I have moves out a few weeks to help me cope. It feels good to better understand praise and abandonment and their positive intentions in my life.

Thank you to the London Tribe for encouragement, support and a warm welcome. I take back to Newbuy Tribe greater confidence and skills.

Best

Nov 16, 2013

Tribe Report - Your Body as Private Property

Hi Ed,

In our last meeting, a tribe member shares with the tribe that he wants to move forward with a new relationship. He also report feeling trap in previous relationships. The process manager (PM) and tribe help him get into forms. After freezing the forms, hot seat (HS) reports feeling trap. He cannot breath. He does not know exactly where he is. HS reports to have some theories about it. The PM follows the flow, and asks HS to share the theories. HS believes that someone is on top of him. This person might be his grandmother. She is hugging and touching him.

We role play this event. Tribe members role play HS's mother and grandmother. HS receives a shut down rock from his mother.

We role play again. This time, HS forgives the medicinal rock back to his mother. Then, another tribe member models the "heart rock" for HS. The "heart rock" includes proactive resources such as sharing and receiving feelings. At some point during role playing, the tribe member stands up and tells the grandmother to stop touching him. Tribe member is protecting his private property. The grandmother backs off.

We role play again. Now, HS has a "heart rock". During role playing, hot seat initially shares how he feels. Then, when he realizes that his grandmother is not willing to listen or share feeling, HS threatens her. I sense anger behind the threat. She backs off. HS is protecting his body which is his private property.

We have a dilemma in the tribe. We wonder what to do when somebody trespass our private property and does not want to listen to our feelings. We agree that it is OK to protect our private property.

I am still reflecting about this process. I do not recall learning as a child that my body is my private property. Now, the concept is clear for me. I acknowledge and celebrate that my body is my private property. I also understand how important is to set clear private property rules to avoid conflicts.

Next, a tribe member shares with the tribe an issue with a land that he owns and another person is leasing. Tribe member plans to take the issue to court and to fight for his rights. At this point, he is not willing to approach the lessee to share feelings and concerns. I appreciate tribe member's sincerity during the process. He does not want to please the tribe either agreeing to do something he does not want. This process helps me see the importance to respect hot seat's decisions.

Some days during last week, I feel very sad and discourage. I even consider calling in sick to work one day. I recall feeling a sensation around my eyes and in my chest. The feeling is like if I want to cry but I cannot. On those days, I go to bed early and I wake up recalling multiple dreams. I wonder if I am experiencing and accepting feelings during my dreams. I wake up with more energy and clarity.

Thanks

Nov 15, 2013

Adelaide Tribe Report - Domineering Fathers and Con Men

Ed,

I manage to leave home 30 minutes before the meeting and arrive 15 minutes earlier with plenty of time for social before start.

All members are ready for the meeting 5 minutes prior to schedule.

First thing we start a discussion of the attempt to run the rocks process, instead of zero point process that one member experienced last meeting.

This was a suggestion from Ed in FAQ's.

We go through the mechanics of rocks process to everyone be on the same page.

Then we do a round of report progress.

One member says that he is more relaxed and not so anxious as previous. He is not sure if it is Tribe that is causing this, but he is more in peace. Lately he's spending time going though his notes and having some insights.

Another member share his wife having a miscarriage all members feel sorry for him, but overall he is more settled at his work and less frustrated.

I share that I am progressing in some projects that I have being procrastinating for a while and I am getting thorough the barriers and keep on moving in baby steps yet moving.

We start the drumming and it goes for a while. I personally lose track of time and feel in the groove and I notice that members are getting more in sync with the drumming every meeting.

We check in and all share relaxation after the drumming and a feeling of camaraderie, no judgment and freedom among the members.

We discuss the importance of having goals and the purpose to work on issues otherwise tribe can be just another medication to our suppressed feelings.

The group agree to members to share goals and problems (gap between current situation and goal/intention)

One member, then, start to share some issues and he sounded like a congested market showing no trend in any direction. He does not give clarity of his issue is.

He stated that he desired a situation in life and would be happy with the outcome, but at the same time found extremity difficult to achieve and was not making any efforts toward that direction either.

To test willingness members wondered if he was already getting what he wanted.

He kept on explaining that money is a difficult target to achieve and he does not have the same problem achieving goals regarding sports and athletics. Like running an Iron Man and a Marathon... which he feel pumped up and motivated to go for it as for money he would not do much.

Still not showing much trend and jumping from one subject to another not sure what the issue is.

He then mention his wife pressure to have goals, purpose and get more money. Yet for him he is just fine, but would be happy to have more freedom of time.

Keeps on sharing some frustrations and at the same time seems OK with it.

Still sounds like a congested market and all others keep on receiving him.

He starts to show some forms scratching his cheeks and immediately recall an incident from his childhood.

PM see a break out and encourages to show form and freeze to explore the childhood incident.

HS is seven years old getting out of the swimming pool and he and his sister is getting dry because lunch is ready to be served.

His father decides to take the last dive before lunch.

HS disrespectfully says to his father "NOW old man is having a dive"

HS first language is Spanish and on his culture that statement is very disrespectful

Father gets really angry and grabs HS and throw in the water and shakes HS angry and go absolutely nuts

House maid run to mother and asks for help "Ms!!!!! Mr, is killing Jr.!!!"

Father stops and harshly tells off son for his doing that.

Father behavior towards son keeps very demeaning and always affirming his incapacity to take care of himself.

HS shares that some pattern behaviors develops. He always associate with woman that are older than him that supposedly is taking care of him.

HS always rely on apparent more experienced individuals to take care of his finances and he end up attracting con artist.

Lately he shares that one wiped out all his savings.

HS shows impatience towards his daughter that is not sleeping

HS has difficult to take responsibility and assign blame to his wife nagging him.

Tribe agree to role play incident 3 times

- First time to play incident exactly as it was

- Second time included rocks donation

1- Impatience and rage (Father)

2- Inability to take care of self (Father)

3- Pressure to be high achiever like peers e.g. sister and cousins (mother)

- Third time HS reject rock donation and do not accept behavior patterns and return rocks to donors (Father and Mother). Then Tribe donates resource heart rock to use instead that enables to receive feelings, share feelings and go with the flow.

Tribe members checks out and share AHAs and feelings.

All members are happy with the outcome and we keep committed to go with what comes up.

Regards

Nov 15, 2013

Forms of Losing It and Then Wanting it Back

Hi Ed,

What do you think stands behind the behavior of people who lose things (money, relationships, health, etc.') only for trying to win them back ?

Thank you,

Nov 15, 2013

New Tribe for Nurenberg, Germany

Dear Ed,

After considering the idea for months, I decide to start a new Trading Tribe.

I don't know how this experience would be , but in every case it will be an important experience for my personal growing.

In the past I've tried to organize groups of working with other traders (and also in other professional fields of working), but I don't succeed in obtaining nothing good.

Of course I have made some mistakes , and without any doubt I'm self reliant more then average people : it's simply the history of my life that had made me completely free and absolutely (and in particular fiercely) independent, I know it very well and of course I'm conscious about both positive and negative aspects.

I even don't know if the city I am writing you now will be the place where I will live in the future : but I really like to share each other . feelings, experiences, situations , ideas of trading.

I'm also excited about the possibility of growing and helping others grow personally and professionally.

I have attached the TTID document with my information, and will await further instruction from you .

Thanks a lot !

Wishing you the very best,

Nov 14, 2013

Wants Trading Advice

Hello.

I try to trade on FX.

I'd like to get your advice about trading.

Best regards,

Nov 13, 2013

Breathwork Follow Up - Asking for What He Wants

Hi Ed,

During the Breathwork, I work on the feeling of apprehension to get and express what I want. During the past month, I also recall more childhood happenings which contribute to my shutdown.

One incident is that once my parents bring back a box of delicious dry fruits. When they see I want to eat but I am shy to say it, they make fun of me and eat them all in front of me. And they encourage me to say "I don't want to eat it." and laugh. I don't know why they do that but it's a clear memory I have.

I also notice that my mom is never willing to show / admit what she wants. She always uses a circuitous way to "tell" people what she wants. She is afraid of any confrontation. She often lies to cover her even normal desire or intention. I inherit this rock pretty well from her.

I am more willing to express and go after what I want now, especially in the work place and trading. I just knock out peer engineers and grab the project I want and have fun finishing them, although I know I might need a Rock Process to completely work on this issue. I bring this to my local tribe when I get a chance.

Thank you for hosting the Breathwork! I like the S&W revolver you let me to shoot and I am thinking of getting one.

Nov 12, 2013

Workshop Follow Up - System Testing and Trading

Ed,

In the workshop, I work on my issue of not being able to stick to continuous daily work on system design and back testing. Now after more than one month, I am doing better and better on sticking to my project.

I am rewriting my program to switch to a simple Donchian breakout system. I focus on research the total account behavior with different risk configuration, instead of finding better way to out guess market. I am still working on this.

I am also doing manual back testing now. I design a handy tool to facilitate my hands-on back testing. It uses PERL script to process daily historic data and I interface it with Tradestation so I can replay data bar by bar. I don't need to cover the right side of the chart for there is no bar there, until I hit the button. I use a Excel Spreadsheet to log my trade and automatically calculate position size, P/L base on my stop and risk percentile per trade. It's fun to do such kind of back testing, it's almost as fun as my son playing video game. I experience all kinds of feelings which are in my way of cutting the loser short and running the winners. I really like this game and am playing it whenever I get a chance.

I converge into a simple breakout trend following system. The system trade daily bar. It's really simple and making money. Just keep pulling the trigger for the same price entry and hold the position for at least 4 month or more.

I also restart trading now, I notice that stuck on a system design is a successful way to avoid commitment, specially it helps hiding my fear of being stopped out.

Thank you for hosting this great workshop!

Nov 12, 2013

Willingness Testing and Sex

Dear Ed,

I am re-reading old FAQ's. On Saturday, August 1, 2009 - From Control to Intimacy: Employing Willingness Testing, you write

Once you are clear about your own needs you can move forward with a simple willingness test.
For example:

You: "I wonder if you are willing to have deeply satisfying sex with me
on a regular basis."

Her (Case A): "Yes." [You win.]

Her (Case B): "No."

You: "I wonder if you are willing for me to have deeply satisfying sex
with someone else."

Her (Case C): "Yes." [You win.]

Her (Case D): "No."

You: "I am (am not) willing to stay in this relationship." [You win.]

Today, I see a "willingness test" as a control tool. In my view,"testing" another person or his/her willingness or intentions is different from sharing my intentions and my needs and wondering about
his/her intentions and needs.

Today, I would re-phrase the interaction as follows:

He - "You know, I consider sex very important, a very nice thing. I like it, and I see it as an opportunity to share physical contact and feelings with someone, in this case, with you. But I wonder how you see it".

She - Case A: "No, I consider sex ugly and dirty" [Now he knows that they have very different, incompatible views].

She - Case B: "I also see sex as a nice thing". He: "Well, I wonder how we are not having regularly sex, if we both like it and consider it important".

She - Case C: "I am having a very hard time at work and am tired / I prefer to have sex in the morning and you in the evening / I am uncertain about my feelings towards you / You are rough during foreplay / you eat garlic and have a terrible odor".

[Now he has a better understanding of her, her troubles and needs, and can decide what he is willing to to do in order to improve their sexual life]

Thank you for giving us a platform to carry out the work.

Kind regards,

Nov 11, 2013

Breathwork Follow Up - Paying off Debt

Hi Ed,

During the last Breathwork, I work on my issue about settling and paying an old debt. During my process, I experience fear. I approach and play with a huge spider and a ghost monster. I relate the spider to my mother. I also realize that the ghost monster is helping me experience fear. I notice that I make up this monster.

After the Breathwork, I settle and pay the old debt. I also start paying money I owe to my mother. I originally post that I plan to pay off this debt by the end of November. However, this deadline is not realistic and I am making monthly payments instead. I regret posting a deadline that I cannot meet.

I am also not assuming new debt. A few weeks ago, I decide to buy a car. I finally buy a car that I can afford paying cash only.

Finally, I realize that I create imaginary monsters in my life. I am aware of my imaginary monsters. They help me experience fear. I am willing to approach them and listen to them.

Thanks,

Nov 11, 2013

Small Gestures Go a Long Way

Chief Ed,

Now that I see the photograph of you and Linda at our dinner in SF posted on the TT site, I feel glad that you and Linda got a chance to meet up. I am pleasantly surprised to receive the credit for the photo - my first photo credit! It helped put a smile on my face - a small gesture on either side of a deed goes a long way in lifting spirits.

I look forward to Govopoly publication. Congratulations!