Oct 10, 2013

Feeling Incapable Doing The Job

Hi Chief,

I work for the new company for 3 weeks more now and I still haven't solved a single problem my manager gives to me. I have a pile of unfinished problem tickets now. They hire me as senior level engineer and I told them I have done the same kind of project before. I am working more than 10 hours a day from 6:00AM. Now I am feeling I am exposed, incapable, tired and frustrated. I wonder if I need to find another job. I want to bring my stress and incapability into my hot seat when you visit my local tribe.

Thanks,

Oct 10, 2013

Graphics

Dear Chief Ed -

I trust all is well with you and your family.

I thought you might find this link interesting -

https://www.plot.ly/

Sincerely,

I had a 2-week break from work. At the beginning of my vacation i had made all kinds of plans. Since i knew i was not going to travel, i had made plans to work on myself: figure out clearly my long-term career goals, possibly work on my trading system and prepare to hunt for a job.

I ended up doing none of these. I first fell sick and slept half the day for most days. I did start with interview preparation, but i probably spent about 4-5 hours the whole of the 2 weeks. I kept avoiding the task. Even after starting the task, i kept having feelings of anxiety and discomfort and was not able to spend too much time at once. This is an ongoing problem with anything that i plan to do. For instance something as simple as: checking mail every week. I end up just collecting the mail but sorting thru it only after 4-5 weeks. Even as i write this i get feelings that could be described as frustration and anger. Sometimes it feels like i am being a drama king.

The upshot of all this is that at the end of the 2 weeks i feel i have accomplished nothing that i set out to do. I had also committed to being more aware of why things NEVER go as i plan them. I am not any more aware than at the start of these 2 weeks.This might sound like an arrogant stubborn SOB and sometimes i myself feel that way. I thought i'll just share to see what insights you might have.

My problem right now is i cannot figure out what my goals in life are too. Every time i think of something that i could possibly do, i shoot it down with the conviction that i cannot do it. I have an extremely strong fear of failure.

Thanks,

Oct 9, 2013

New San Francisco Tribe

Hi Ed,

I would like to start a new tribe in the San Francisco Bay Area.

Please post this tribe in the directory.

Thanks

Oct 9, 2013

San Francisco Tribe Report

Hi Ed,

I'm with the SF Tribe and I just wanted to share my hot seat experience around eating too much.

I'm very disciplined when it comes to exercising, sleep, work / life balance and eating the right foods. Yet I have had a goal to lose 20 pounds and keep that 20 pounds off. I have not been able to do so.

I do not eat much during the day. But I stuff myself at dinner each night and typically finish it off with desert.

I took this issue on to the hot seat and my session looked like this:

At first, I spoke a lot about this challenge. How I felt being able to eat a lot meant I was a man. How men eat hardy meals at dinner time. How I feel I may starve, if I do not have a full stomach at night. How I feel sad when I cut back and eat smaller portions and that I think other people are enjoying eating these foods , why can't I. How one time when I was a kid, I took my time eating and there was no food left on the table and how I promised myself I would never let that happen again.

I then experienced the forms associated with these feelings, but they were very minor compared to other past hot seats.

The main insight I got from my hot seat was that I feel sad when I cut back on my portions at dinner time. I almost want to cry when I think about it.

I will continue to explore these feeling and beliefs.

Thanks Ed.

Oct 7, 2013

Economic Machine Video by Ray Dalio

Ed,

This video is very well done and you may enjoy it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHe0bXAIuk0

You may have an idea for how you can do something similar with your economic models in creating a short video along the same way to accompany your book?

Regards,

Perhaps you might like to share with your FAQ readers that our London Tribe is forming again, and is now accepting new members.

Austin Tribe Meeting: Drawing Sadness

Ed,

I attend the Tribe Meeting and take the Hot Seat. I express that my animation project has hit a wall. I am drawing the 6 universal emotional expressions, which are sadness, anger, surprise, disgust, fear, and joy. I want to apply these facial expressions to my animated characters. I come to a stop when I try to draw the face of sadness. The woman in the picture had the strained look of sadness and agony that my mother would sometimes have. I have trouble settling down and drawing that face. I experience sadness and fear at these times.

I get into a form before I realize what is happening. I begin rubbing the top of my forehead just below the hairline. I have never done this form before. Later I realize that it was something my father would do when he became frustrated or angry.

I begin to sweat and become nervous as well. I remember a time when I was young when my mother and father were arguing about money. My mother was arguing with my father about not giving her enough money to run the household out of his paycheck. They would yell at each other very loudly and then at some point my father says, "I am leaving" and then walks out of the house into the garage.

My mother goes after him but, comes back later sniffling as if she had been crying. I am in my bedroom playing with my toys and I am very quiet and scared. I eventually go ask my mother if my father is leaving us. She tells me no and that everything is okay. I go back to my room and remain quiet and play with my toys. My brother is quiet and is in my parent's bedroom watching television.

We role-play this scenario with two Tribe members playing my parents. We perform it just the way it occurred. However, I do speak to my parents stating that I am scared but they hardly recognize my statement.

Then we role-play it again and while my parents argue I state I am scared then my father gives me the rock of shutting down. Next we do a role-play in which I tell my combative parents that I am scared but when my father tries to give me the rock of shutting down I refuse it.

At this time, another Tribe member presents me with the rock of sharing feelings, which I accept. I then try to interrupt my parents to get their attention so I can express my feelings to each one individually but they continue to argue. It's a real "circus". Finally, I am able to talk to my parents individually and relate my feelings of being sad and especially scared when they argue like that.

My mother relates her feelings of anger and frustration. I thank her for telling me. I tell these same feelings to my father and he shares his feelings of anger and sadness. I thank him for telling me his feelings. After feelings are shared they continue arguing. They don't share feelings. I can't fix them. I feel exhausted, sweaty, and shaken. I go off to watch television with my brother.

When I get home after this experience, the next few days are very emotional for me. I become sad and start to cry sometimes but I don't know why. I feel a twisting feeling in my throat and upper chest. No pain just these feelings.

There are no thoughts in my head. It just happens. I try to understand these feelings. I feel like I am changing. That's all I can say.

I realized I have some long time relationships that must change or I may have to end. These people are insulting to me and I intend to share feelings with them.

I am now able to continue with my animation project. I still feel the fear and sadness when I draw various expressions I don't shut down.

Another Tribe member expresses his need to make sure another Tribe member's feelings are okay because he doesn't want them to feel hurt about something he has said. I can relate to this situation because I sometimes worry about what other's feel about me.

When I express anger to someone I feel responsible for the anger it might create with that person. My process showed me that I can't fix other people and I am more willing just to accept them as they are.

October 6, 2013

TTP Breathwork Report: Moving Forward

Ed,

I arrive for Breathwork very excited about the weekend and looking forward to being with and supporting my fellow tribe members.

Friday evening we do a tribe meeting and each tribe member develops his issue. I relate to each issue described on a feelings level. I am reminded that we are all brothers in so many ways...all of our issues are really shared by all.

My goal is to move forward in developing my trading business. I have a tightness in my chest and trouble speaking. The next day we get up and go for a hike. I notice I am not completely exhausted as I was on the previous breath work. When I do the Breathwork I notice I do not get completely into the subconscious space as before but I do have one image and message.

I see clouds moving away and blue sky appearing and I feel a sense of peace and the message that I am OK and that I just need to take the next step. Just go do what is in your heart is what I sense and everything will be fine.

Since last week I make progress on my business plan, finish all items on my disclosure document, order business cards and other printed material, start the process of getting my website up and I get the list of my potential investors to contact.

I have another tribe member contact me who wants to support my effort and work on the same issue himself. I feel support. I still feel anxiety and fear regarding so many aspects of promoting my business and these friends of mine remind me to work hard and get it right.

Thank you so much Ed for your love and concern for everyone involved and your awesome leadership through the entire process.

Hi Chief,

I am trying to catch up my writing to FAQ. Recently I am busy on new job to "prove myself".

I bring my issue into my workshop hot seat session. I have a DIM project to install a solar panel in my house. I finish to install the panels, rack mount, inverters and cables early this year, and the last step is to file application to SCE(Southern California Edison) for connection approval. Then I experience job changes and keep delaying finish this project. The longer I procrastinate, the more feelings stop me to resume. It's been 9 month now and it builds up a big pile-ups in my mind. I have a lot of other works stalled and I see this is the head of the line. And I feel extremely frustration of not being able to resume many works after they are temporarily interrupted. I bring my such feeling into my hot seat in the workshop.

The process manage does a very good job to line out ground rules to the tribe before my process starts. He thanks me for trusting him to manage my process and tell every tribe member to be present and fully participate the process. He clearly make me feel that he can handle and hold the space to make sure my process is safe from distraction and any set backs.

After I get into forms, I suddenly see a situation when I was 6-7 years old. I liked music since I am little kid and my father is a music teacher who knows a lot of music instruments. I recall in the process that I beg my dad to teach me to play ErHu when I was 6 years old. Erhu is 2 string instrument with a bow. Once my dad gives me one ErHu and shows me how to do it. Both of us were very happy and I take the ErHu and bows and enjoy practicing, until my mom shows up and stop me in a very harsh way.

She wants me to stop playing any music and focus solely on academy like math and readings. I remember I feel hurt, disapproval, and not knowing what to do and shutdown immediately. I recall the rest of my life till now I have tried several times to pick up a music instrument and end up with no skills. The longest one is my pursuit to learn violin since my college. In the college, I start to love violin and taking private lessons and practice like crazy very day, and in summer and winter vacations I don't go back home town and stay in college to play violin all day. I build scars on my neck like those professional musician. I keep playing of 9 years and suddenly I stopped for no reason. I was making progress and getting better before I stop.

During the role play, my mom asks me to stop playing. I learn the new resource and stick to the principle of receiving her feeling and share my feelings. My mom wants me to start to do math. I receive her feeling and she says she worries about me if I can't find a job. I receive her feeling of worry about my future. I try to make an agreement if she can allow me to play for several minutes then I go to do math. My mom doesn't agree.

In the second round, I suddenly notice that when I share feeling with my mom, I was still holding the ErHu firmly on my lap. I see this is some kind of stiffness and when she shows up I immediately put it down before I talk. I feel this way I am giving her more respect and it works better in the role play.

In the third role play, my mom is still very firm on insisting me stop playing music. Somehow I start to feel relax about her disapproval. I suddenly get an Aha that it's not the end of world. If she interrupts me from doing what I want to do now, I can always talk to her later and pick it up again. One time rejection or disapproval, or interruption is no longer a death sentence for any of my endeavor. And I find hat I always carry that rock of feeling eternal hopeless for just one time failure to get approval. I realize that I can always come back and share feelings and I may turn things around later. It's a huge Aha I get that I see clearly my many unfinished endeavors are derailed by a hidden feeling of seeking approval for what I want to do.

This is a great meeting and I get to know myself more and become more pro-active in sticking to what I want to do. I start to accept interruptions and momentary failure and I start to feel they are part of my stick-to-it-ness.

I thank the process manager for manage my process and the members who play my mom and dad, and all the other receivers. It's a well managed process and I learn a lot on the PM skills too.

I thank you for hosting this workshop. September is a busy month for you and I feel grateful that you continue your effort to empower other people.

I am grateful for your commitment to help to our local tribe, especially that you might be tired that day for you just finish the IFTA speech and San Francisco tribe meeting before you come to our tribe. My local tribe members are excited for your visit next Sunday and looking forward to having you manage our Rock Process. I want to provide transportation and take you out for lunch and dinner.

I attach a link of an Erhu music and hope that you might like it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zeFaLuFKz4

Thanks,

Oct 6, 2013

TTP Breathwork Report - Retiring Debt in 45 Minutes

Hi Ed,

Thank you for hosting the Breathwork.

On Friday night, we go around the group to clarify issues. During my hot seat, first I start with a goal. Then, as I continue with the process, I realize my real problem now is to settle and pay an old debt. I share my fear in dealing with the company I owe money. I think what they really want is to sue me. I also share with the group my pattern to accumulate bills and pay them right before the service providers cut my services. I feel embarrassment to share all this.

As I share my issue, I develop forms with my hands. The tribe encourages me with the forms. The Process Manager (PM) asks me to freeze the forms and to recall a time when I feel the same. I am in my crib alone in a very dark place. I feel a lot of fear. I am shaking. I see a huge monster. The monster looks like a ghost. I can see the panic on my face. I feel tension on my arms and legs. I also see a huge black monster spider with long legs. The spider is many times bigger than me. I somehow relate the spider to my mother. I agree with the tribe to explore these issues during Breathwork.

On Friday night, I go to sleep feeling a bit upset. I wonder if the issue I bring to the hot seat is really significant. I am also hungry. I agree to fast until after I breathe. We wake up on Saturday morning to go for a hike. After the hike, we get ready for the breathing. I breathe with the first group.

During Breathwork, the image of a huge black spider comes up. I am in my crib. I am not clear if it is a male or female spider. I feel fear. I decide to approach the spider and ask her what she wants. The spider is huge. I can clearly see the texture of her skin. She says that she just wants to play. I feel a state of bliss and happiness when I hear this. I say OK, let's play. We start to dance together. The spider moves very slowly and asks me to slow down to keep pace with her. At this point, I realize this is a female spider. Although, I originally relate the spider with my mother, I do not feel that I am dealing with her. I am just playing with a monster spider. I interact with the spider for a while. I make eye contact with her. At some point, the spider starts to chase me and we run in circles. I ask her again what she wants. I do not recall her answer but she stops to chase me. Finally, I ask the spider if we can have sex. We both realize that this is not possible. I am a human being and she is a spider. I just pet her instead. The spider enjoys the petting. I feel that I am just taking care of the spider.

Next, the image of the ghost monster comes up. I am in my crib. I feel a lot of fear. The fear disappears and I approach the monster. I realize that I am making up this monster. The monster is not real. He is helping me to experience fear.

During Breathwork, I feel cramps and tensions in different parts of my body. I specially feel a painful cramp in my left foot. I try to breathe through these pains and cramps. The pains disappear when I remember to breathe through them.

Finally, I see myself winning an Olympic gold medal. I am in the podium and I am enjoying the feeling of winning. The medal represents freedom. I feel a state of bliss and happiness while in the podium.

I do Breathwork a few other times, and I notice that usually a black feline like a leopard or cat appears in my processes. Sometimes the feline appears in a dream after the Breathwork. On Sunday morning, after having breakfast in downtown Bastrop, I take a short walk to check the houses in the area. There, I feel like walking toward an old house. I approach the house and just stand up there for a few seconds. Suddenly, I see a black cat coming out from the house and walking toward me. My first reaction is just to run away. I am not really into cats. However, I decide to stay. The cat walks around me and I just pet him.

On Monday after the Breathwork, I pay all my overdue bills. I also set automatic payments to all my bills. I realize now that I am not keeping my agreements with service providers.

I also "remember" or actually accept, that my mother loans me money several years ago, and I do not pay her back. I call her and tell her that I would like to pay her back. First, she does not want to accept the money back. We finally agree that I pay the full loan by the end of November 2013. I pay her 30% of the loan yesterday.

Finally, I call the company I owe money to work on a settlement and payment. We agree on the settlement, they fax me a letter, and I pay them immediately. We close the whole thing in 45 minutes.

I realize now how the debts and late payments issues distract me from right livelihood. I also feel that I remove a roadblock on my path.

Thanks,

Dear Ed,

Greetings!

I thought of sharing a thought on 'the meaning of life'. Please see the attached picture.

It is so true and it does reinforce the profound statement by you, 'everybody gets what they want'!

Some people just forget to live life in search of finding the meaning of life.

With regards,

Oct 6, 2013

Austin Tribe Meeting Report - Managing Others' Feelings

Dear Ed,

A theme that emerges in our seventh Tribe meeting is, "what do I do if others are unwilling to hear my feelings?"

Two Tribe members work through Rocks Processes involving parents who are extremely focused on their own personal and marital issues.

The hotseats both attempt to give back the medicinal rocks (overeat, drink alcohol, shut down) and the parents keep talking as if their child is not even present.

One HS even attempts to slip the rock back into his mother's pocket while she is totally focused on getting him to have some more food to make him feel better! The efforts to give back the rocks are futile.

At that point, PM intervenes to shift the action from attempting to share feelings over to the realm of accepting the other person as they are. We incorporate this into the pro-active heart rock.

I role-play the heart rock donor for one HS. Adding the concept of acceptance gives me a great sense of happiness and optimism as I feel I can offer HS the chance to release himself from the need to please his parents and to get them to hear his feelings.

As I give him the heart rock, I tell him, "You can still love your mom and dad, even if they can't share feelings with you, you can accept them as they are. And now you are free to find people who really can share feelings with you!"

I feel as if I am talking to myself as well as to him. I feel loving towards him. He seems to receive the heart rock happily. At check-out I feel happy that some other Tribe members report being affected by our exchange also.

The other part of the meeting I'd like to report occurred with one of the new members, who spontaneously speaks "out of turn" to be sure that another member has not misunderstood his feedback. When the Tribe questions his intention, he continues to state that he "wants to clarify" what he meant, apparently so that the member does not feel discouraged by his feedback by taking it the "wrong" way.

It is very difficult for him to see that he is attempting to "persuade" the other member not to feel something negative in response to his comments. This leads to a discussion of who is responsible for whose feelings (aka: codependency). He is struggling with the idea that he is attempting to control the other person.

I resonate deeply with this member, who is obviously a caring person and very sensitive to the feelings of others. However, this "sensitivity" includes the fear that we might "make" someone feel bad. We have to remain vigilant to be sure we have done no inadvertent harm since our intention is only, always, to be helpful!

Sometimes I feel like a walking apology. I tend to look at my responsibility for the feelings of others in all-or-nothing terms, so, if they feel bad about something I say, I must rush to clarify my intention, so that they know I am not a "bad" person (that is, one who doesn't "care" if they hurt someone). In other words, I want to control how they feel about ME.

This is very tiring, and it might even become annoying to the other person after a while (which of course leads to another round of apologies!). As this member begins to have some greater awareness of the issue, he says, "Maybe that is why I am always repeating myself...to be sure the other person understands that I mean well." This statement shot through me like a lightning bolt: repeating myself is one of the most irritating habits I have noticed in myself.

Once again, the work that others do in Tribe resonates and ripples through all of the rest of us.

Oct 5, 2013

My Issue for the SF Tribe Meeting

Hi Ed,

I know you would like to be aware of our issues before meeting with us. It has taken me some time to clarify what my issue is, in part because I have been in a period of bereavement. I am just now tip toeing out of that dark place and looking around at this new world in which I find myself.

For about 8 months I could not read my charts…..I saw them with my eyes but nothing meant anything to me. After a while my vision cleared, the charts came into focus and began revealing themselves to me.

But I did not care anymore. Everything I was doing, I had been doing for us. For just me…I had no desire and no goals I cared about. It has been difficult for me to even present a snap shot to my tribe about anything I would want. I just did not have my heart in it.

But the markets were relentless and would not leave me hiding under a leaf. So I have once again taken up my trading.

There is no HOT issue for me but a steady day-by-day submission to the ever deepening disciplines required.

It is a bitter sweet road for there is not the One who had been my biggest fan to celebrate the end result, except for in my dreams.

I have accepted it and am still walking the path, one foot here and one foot there.

So what I am now working on is being aware of how I can improve and then making those changes as they become known to me.

Looking forward to our time together in SF and thank you for coming.

Oct 5, 2013

Breathwork Report - Reconnecting with Courage

Ed,

When I first experienced breath-work two years ago at Ed's house in Bastrop, I knew I would be back to do it again. It was a life-changing experience for me. Spending a weekend with friends and like-minded individuals sharing feelings, ideas, and friendship does that for me. The breathing experience brought me closer to other human beings than I ever felt before. I recall leaving the breath-work and my flight was delayed so I found myself hanging out at the airport watching and talking to people. I remember thinking I could not find a single person who looked unfriendly to me. The realization was crystal clear, The world is what I make of it – I was in a "happy zone" and the world was one cool place to be.

I arrive at Ed's house couple days prior to the breath-work and attend a tribe meeting. Tribe is packed with people from all around the world. Aside from several Americans, there are representatives from China, Italy, India and Slovakia. As the meeting begins and we all sit down, almost magically Ed's phone starts to ring. As in the movie Matrix we all quiet down and get ready for a journey into another world – in our case - intimacy centric relating world. Although I think I have come to the meeting with no intentions of working on my own issues, but rather to support and meet others, I am quickly proven wrong as Ed skillfully connects issues of several tribe members into one coherent role play and I instantly plug into it with my own.

The Tribe works on issues of sharing feelings of fear and sadness and we all learn how to share them proactively, rather than medicinally. For a group consisting mostly of males - this is a hard work!

The next day a fellow tribe member and I go see a friend who lives in a nearby town. It is great to see each other. We get to talking and discuss many interesting subjects. After lunch it is time to say goodbye and head back to Ed's place to attend the breath-work weekend. Although we feel like we allocate plenty of time to arrive in time we begin to experience quite a bit of traffic on the way back. Minute by minute we are falling behind. Our GPS is relentlessly eating away the spare time we once had. We both have heard stories of Ed not allowing people to attend meetings even being only a minute late.

We both start to feel fear and share it with each other. Earlier when we feel that we have plenty of time to get to the meeting, we send Ed a message asking him if there is anything he needs from the store. Now when we feel like we might be late he sends us a shopping list! Great! We are experiencing a lot of feelings associated with fear, excitement, and anxiety but we keep our attitudes positive. We quickly finish shopping and start taking short cuts around the traffic and really working as a team. Like a Rally car team we race away on the wet Texas dirt roads, me doing the best keeping the car on the road while my co-pilot shouts the turns ahead of the time as he sees them on the GPS. What a ride, what a thrill.

"I don't see a problem" says Ed as he is looking at me. I am sitting right across to him in his living room as all the other breathers are around us. It is late in the evening and we are going through a process of clarifying our issues so we can take them to the breath-work to explore. "I really don't see a problem", Ed repeats glaring with his piercing eyes at me. I am nervous, I want to have a good Breathwork, I want to work on something worthwhile.

Since I remember I always just about break-even, I want to get ahead in my life but it never works out, not yet anyway. I had been trading my systematic trend-following system for five years now – we made money over time but just enough to pay the research team and taxes. Times had been tough so I do what I can. I have a second business and I trade discretionally. I had been doing OK discretionally with small sums, but once I increase my bets my decision making changes. I start losing. So that is what I am working on. "I think this works for you" says Ed, we can just move on to the next breather. "F--k this can't be!" I am thinking to myself, I have to work on this. "OK Ed, fine you know what? This is important to me and I will work on it I feel it, I want to change it" and I start to feel cold all over my body a wave of excitement goes over me. Ed asks me where do I feel it and I know…...I am in.

The last night we stay up late clarifying our issues but now is the time to go and breathe. I am laying down determined to work on my issue aware that it is not only for me but for everybody. If I succeed I change not only my life I change others' lives as well. I committed to it, last night in front of the whole group of breathers. It is my mission now. I see my fellow breathers as they are getting ready as well. I look at my sitter for the last time, give him a nod of appreciation and there I go.

About two hours or so later, I sit at a table chewing on some grapes, drawing a picture. My breath-work experience is behind me. I look around and feel gratitude for being there. I face my feelings of fear, excitement and anxiety during my breathing. I experience my own birth, death, pain, feelings of being alone and neglected. I experience joy and love. I explore and experience the fears holding me back in my own life. I experience the courage it takes to accomplish things, to run a successful trading business, to be a good husband and father and lastly - to trade in size. The message I come back from my breath-work experience is courage.

Michael Marcus words from Market Wizards come to mind…

"Being a successful trader also takes courage: the courage to try, the courage to fail, the courage to succeed, and the courage to keep on going when the going gets tough."

Ed, with all my heart, thank you.

Oct 5, 2013

TTP Workshop - Project Support and Next Steps

Dear Ed

Thank you for introducing me to [Name] (Securities Attorney) at the TTP Workshop, with regard to supporting me on the declaration I make (on Sunday, Sep 15th). I intend to follow up ... in the coming weeks as I kick-off my project.

I further clarify my intention as: "I safeguard and grow liquid capital for select investors by sticking to a clearly defined trend following system".

I intend to share the following documents with my support team during the course of the next three months:

October 15th - Project Charter including Clear Intention, Vision and Project Plan.

November 1st - Initial Drafts: Trading Methodology and Guidelines, Variance Reporting and Tracking Protocol, Legal Agreements, and Short List of Managed Account Platforms.

December 1st - Final Drafts: Trading Methodology and Guidelines, Variance Reporting and Tracking Protocol, Legal Agreements, and Selected Managed Account Platform(s).

January 1st - "Launch" Information.

I receive confirmation from eight team members (since the workshop) on their willingness to review these documents and provide feedback where appropriate, as well as hold me accountable for delivering the work.

I also intend to copy you (FAQ) on these correspondences, in accordance with FAQ ground rules.

Many thanks for all your support.

Sincerely

Dear Ed,

I wonder why ... feelings are great if we know 'em.
We can all choose ... thank you for sharing, and
you don't have to change a thing!

Oct 4, 2013

Feedback on Govopoly

Hi Ed,

I enclose here my feedback on your book, up to page 153 of 373.

I have seen that you have updated the document on Dropbox,so you might have already addressed some of my comments on spelling and grammar.

I intend to send you the rest of my comments before next Wednesday.

I enjoy the book and I find it hard to put down.

I also reflect on how I begin to invest in Gold and Silver in 2009 to protect myself and my family's wealth from the inevitable collapse and how I end up 5 years later with 60% less, notwithstanding a positive absolute performance by gold and silver...maybe my unwillingness to experience the 39th day might have given me the chance to do so in advance?

Also,I often feel a mix of envy,anger and contempt towards people who go along their daily business unconcerned and actually unaware of what's going on. I also feel smarter than them. But then I see that they manage to get along much better than I do and so I question my actual level of smartness...

One FAQ contributor recently identified himself as woe-is-me, I can identify myself as "worry-is-me":I am a professional worrier who has fought many battles in this field.

In any case,I am very curious to embark on reading the second part and learn how to enjoy the ride,which sounds rather difficult to my ear...

Best,

Oct 3, 2013

Breathwork Weekend Follow Up -
From Control to Intimacy
and Dogs in Tents

Ed,

Thanks for hosting the Breathwork weekend.

I enjoy spending time with folks who want to work on and develop themselves.

During the Friday night "hot seats" we develop issues to take into the Breathwork.

I begin by talking to you, the process manager, about fear and anger.

You cut me off and suggest that I want to control things.

This is definitely true.

So we work on "being out of control" and I develop a form, my first, which involves smiling, grimacing, and working my jaw.

During Breathwork on Saturday (my 2nd ever) I experience mild hallucinations of glyphs & hierogplyphs just like in my 1st Breathwork.

I don't remember to work on control, fear or anger.

But this week I focus on not having to always be in control and I like it.

Here are three examples:

(1) I've got to upload some data at work and when I begin, I notice a possible error. I want to stop, ask the source of the data if it's correct, but he's gone for the day and I'm frustrated. I say to myself: "What if it's wrong?! Another delay! Darn!" Then I let go of control. I remember he told me it was "good to go". So I upload it in a few minutes. Boom! Done! This feels good.

(2) The Cable TV guy is coming over. I don't want to miss the appointment and I want to make sure they don't charge me because they made the call to have someone to come out and I don't think they'll find the problem because it's not raining anymore and how do we get in the neighbor's yard – they've got large dogs and and and … Then I let go of control and it just happens. It all works out.

(3) My daughter's birthday was yesterday and we got her the large tent she asked for. When my wife asks me to help set it up as a surprise, I immediately go into control mode and start over-thinking things. Then I let go and it just happens smoothly and easily. I enjoy that, too.

Sometimes when you let go of control you get a tent in your living room – and it's fun!

Oct 3, 2013

Book

Ed,

Speaking of books. I notice that your book is in its proof reading stage.

I would be honored to proof read it.

I've read the Alchemy of Finance 7 times and still don't fully understand it but at least you know I'm serious about reading boo

Oct 2, 2013

Bad Day for Ronald

Ed,

If you think you are having a bad day, remember that in 1976, Ronald Wayne sells his 10% stake in Apple Computer for $800 versus today's price of some $58 Billion.

Oct 2, 2013

Walk Forward

Ed,

I appreciate your feedback and I will take it into account as I continue to hone my skills. As a side note, I've been reading about walk-forward analysis in a book by Robert Pardo, and the theory seems to make alot of sense to me. I'm curious if you have any thoughts as to the effectiveness of walk-forward analysis, especially for shorter term systems.

Thanks,

Oct 1, 2013

Some Receiving Words

Hi Chief,

I am collecting some receiving words, so I can practice them everyday, till memorize them and become my second nature.

Here are what I have now:

Thank you for telling me you are angry/sad, please tell me more about it.
You really look angry/sad,
I want to hear more about your feeling of anger, please tell more about it.
I feel it's important for me to know your are angry/sad, thank you for tell me that.
I can tell that it's your true feeling when your are angry, thank you for letting me know that. Please tell me more.
I can feel your are angry, you really are.
Now I know you are really angry, thank you for letting me know that, please tell me more about it.
You really look angry/sad. I can feel that. When I myself am angry/sad, I feel pain in the chest and tension in my throat, I wonder if you feel the same way, or you feel differently?

I appreciate if you can add some more.

Recently tribe experience makes me realize that sending is also very important in real-time application. I am adding more to my daily practice.

Currently I have a snapshot of doing each of this once per day, as a minimum, for 3 month.
1. One time/5 minutes to receive my son.
2. One time/5 minutes to receive my daughter.
3. One time/5 minutes to receive my wife.
4. One time/5 minutes to receive each parents.
5. Find at least one chance to receive co-workers.
6. Look for chance to send at least once per day. To find the point where I can insert sending/receiving before I usually go to the other, i.e. control centric path.

Now I start to see Rocks Process going on in real life once in a while, I can see how I changes the path of events around me. I can see how I find valve and deflate feelings and things fall into places automatically. It's a cool skill. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.

Thanks,

Oct 1, 2013

Feeling Angry about ACA

Ed,

I receive my new quote for health insurance under the new federally mandated Affordable Care Act (ACA).

An increase of 124.68% for a very healthy couple. We are thrilled!

The ACA premium price increases will unlikely flow into the CPI as a result of calculation and weighting methodology.

Government Intentions = Government Results.

I acknowledge my anger, let it flow through me and redirect my motivation to get on task on certain priorities in my life.

For one, finish proof reading your new book.

Best regards.

http://www.bls.gov/cpi/cpifact4.htm

Challenges to pricing health insurance The current indirect method for measuring health insurance premium changes does not mimic the way consumers pay for health care and it forces the medical care indexes to measure changes in what medical care providers receive from insurance companies rather than what consumers pay for the medical items out of pocket. A direct measure that would have an index for health insurance premiums along with out-of-pocket indexes for the various medical items would be an ideal way to measure medical care price change—provided that BLS could produce an accurate constant-quality index for health premiums. The CPI has tested the feasibility of directly pricing health insurance policies several times and each time showed that there were major barriers to obtaining data on changes in quality variables such policy benefits and utilization (the number of claims per insured).

Consequently, BLS was unable to produce consistent constant-quality premiums for health insurance policies for use as CPI prices. BLS plans further research to find alternative methods for measuring health insurance premium inflation.

Oct 1, 2013

Austin Trading Tribe Report -
From Control And Toward Intimacy

Ed,

I arrive at the meeting with some nervousness because there are unknown individuals. In addition I worry about my inexperience with TTP. I find the predictability of the process comforting and soon settle into the meeting.

During a hot seat I have the desire to assist and volunteer to role play. I enjoy exploring the feelings of my character. I discover that my feelings, the feelings of the other role player and the individual on the hot seat fall into a groove an produce a very powerful reenactment of the rocks process. This provides me satisfaction but I wonder if role playing medicates some of my feelings about wanting to help others. I feel some confusion about how others can feel the same satisfaction by helping me. Am I controlling others by helping them?

Sure enough, as can be expected, I have a chance to engage the group with some of these control feelings. I make a statement that interrupts the group and the group leader calls me on it. Initially I feel anger that I had lost some self control and interrupted the process. I also feel anger that the group does not understand that my intentions were good. The more these feelings of anger are engaged the more I look inward. I have alienated the group and I am confused as to why this is the case.

We then explore the urges I get to clarify myself. In my mind, I see clarifying statements as a good thing but the group very eloquently leads me to the conclusion that this is about trying to control what others feel when I make a statement.

We go through an incident that keeps repeating in my life and my discomfort reaches a crescendo. We role play an specific incident and I find that one word gives me an AHA.

That word is acceptance. I have to accept that what I say may produce feelings in others that I cannot control. This causes my to crawl out of my mind and focus on communicating my feelings. If I do this then I will develop more intimate relationships. I run the risk of ruining some control-based relationships but overall this is a good trade.

I end the meeting with a tremendous release of weight from my shoulders and almost bounce home.

I commit to working on getting out of the "thinking" mode, improving the communication of my feelings and accepting others feelings. This is a significant undertaking and I intend to ask the group for their support next meeting.

Oct 1, 2013

Book Review

Ed,

I have completed my review of your book. I am very happy to provide you feedback. I hope my comments are useful to you.

Overall, I quite enjoyed the entire process. Most of the things I found were concerns I had about your feelings of advocacy. I described these thoughts in the attached document. I had a couple of things for you to fact check and one (what I believe to be) error. The error had to do with your comments on interstate insurance. I am available to provide explanation or further thoughts should you require.

I am happy to receive any feelings you have about my review.

Also, since this is time sensitive I would like to receive a confirmation that you received this email and an attached 6 page word document.

Best Regards,

Oct 1, 2013

T-Shirt For TTP

Dear Ed -

I found this T shirt interesting

http://www.cafepress.com/mf/69208451/exceed-limits-of-my-medication_tshirt

Oct 1, 2013

Govopoly Comments

Ed,

Overall I greatly enjoyed reading the book. I found the problem very well described but still feel I do not have the answer yet.

I enclose the first part of the comments. I hope you find them useful. They are yours to do with as you please. There is no need to justify rejecting, ignoring, or accepting them but feel free to clarify them if you want to.

I am meeting my brother, who is an economist, this weekend. I have given him some quotes to consider and I will show him the relevant pages I intend to send you a precis of [his] comments early next week, or perhaps this Sunday your time. Please let me know if this is too late and I will do my best to move our meeting forward.

Re concerns about your reputation: No doubt you are aware that libertarian politics and Austrian economics are very much minority views.

Most people see Libertarians as mad Anarchists who don't realize the obvious fact that a large government is essential and most economists see Austrians as lacking in rigor and sophistication and failing to understand mainstream economics. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Austrian_School#Criticisms

Until the rotten house of cards collapses, people will not appreciate how bad things are. And when they do, everyone will say they knew it all along, burned heretics notwithstanding.

Regards.

Oct 1, 2013

Splat

Ed,

Hotseat Contemplation

I've many "better" things to do
Than sit and write to FAQ!
Like pay my bills and clean my house
And not just fiddle with this mouse.

But here I am, the Sirens call,
I spill my guts and maybe bawl.
What is this power feelings wield
To make me want to drop my shield?

But also raise it - there's the rub!
This is not a social club.
We hang it out, then wait to see
What comes next from TTP.

Will we laugh or will we cry?
Share our feelings, why ask why?
What, really, have we got to lose
Except the walls we always use?

I wind up open, flayed, exposed;
Will I wish I'd just stayed closed?
What the f**k's the point of that?
Staying safe, I just stand pat.

I see the faces of my Tribe,
I see their courage, feel the vibe
Of love, support, and validation;
It all comes with participation.

So yes, I'll write to FAQ.
It's something I commit to do.
If Ed is willing, so am I:
I take the leap, and then, I fly!

Splat.

Oct 1, 2013

Our Tribe Meeting 9/12/13 - Can of Worms

Dear Ed,

This was my first meeting with full tribe strength. And even though it was only one person more, the dynamics were very different. Even a single person can make a big difference to the group i guess!

Quite a few of us took the hot seat this time. The surprising part was though we spent a good amount of time discussing the logistics of the next meeting, we still had time to go thru 3 hot seats!

Initially i was reluctant to take the hotseat as i felt i should be fair and let everyone else have a turn before i take the seat again. When i did express interest in taking the hot seat the group was more than willing to receive. Mine was the last hotseat. It was a continuation of a theme in my life regarding me resisting "everything". In this case i went to the hotseat with an issue of inability to sleep on time. I feel a resistance internally to go to bed on time.

My forms mostly were around rocking motions, shaking my head sideways, jumping up and down, shaking hands vigorously. I had other forms such as cupping one hand in the other palm repeatedly, clenching fists. I tend to take each form to a vigorous level until i get tired to do it any more. I also have a slight asthma issue which seems to limit the amount of physical vigor i can put into the form. I usually get tired after going thru a few forms and just want to rest. However this time when the receiver asked me if i would like to combine the forms, i tried to the combine the forms twice, even though i was tired. I just wanted to go with the flow of the forms to the "very end", whatever that was. I was finally exhausted and felt i could not continue. I also tried to talk much less than before. Even though i had thoughts i tried to focus on my feelings rather than verbalize.

I always have this nagging thought at the back of my mind if i am "doing things right"! I always feel i am not sending feelings right. For instance, i feel a pain in my chest. How do i send such a feeling? I can probably only say this and the receiver would encourage me to feel it more. But is that it? In the past when i tried focusing on the feeling in the chest, the receiver thought i was at a zero point, which i was not.

At the end of the hotseat i felt i needed to make some commitments to "constrain" my problem as currently the issue is too general. It is so much a part of my personality now (my tendency to resist every thing) that i almost feel like i am forcing myself to the hotseat with this issue, though right at the moment of check-in i am not feeling very hot about it. It is definitely controlling/ruining my life!!

I did make a note internally to have some goals/commitments around this issue. 3 weeks later i am still avoiding making the goals/commitments.

Some thoughts i have on the resistance issue: in the absence of external valid info, the resistance tendency is protecting me from doing things that could get me into trouble. However this protection tendency now is so exaggerated that i am not accepting any external input either. So i am in a vicious loop right now.

I feel i have opened a can of worms that i have forced shut all these years (probably all my adult life starting with postgraduate). It might explain me feelings of depression/panic i keep running into these past few weeks. But now that i have opened the can, much as i still feel resistance to doing something about this issue, i feel i should face it.

Thanks Ed!

Oct 1, 2013

Breathwork Report -
Out of Control And Into Intimacy

Hi Ed,

I've had some time to catch my breath and I wanted to write about my experience this weekend. First I'd like to say I'm really not sure about anything I write and I feel like my life is completely out of control. I've moved from being in control and directing every detail of my life to being a sort of passenger along for the ride.

I liked the process the night before in which people got heated up quickly and sort of targeted a issue for breathwork. The breathwork itself was nothing like what anybody told me or what I expected. This in itself is sort of a lesson that anxiety and worry about some future event is futile because no matter how many scenarios run through your head you won't be able to get experience and preparation before hand. Being open to experience and the feelings that occur is a more enjoyable posture. I understand this intellectually but I don't believe my underlying unconscious process of anxiety and worry has changed. I believe it will take more time to fully integrate this intellectual knowledge into the unconscious.

When I laid down and started to breath heavily the effects started rapidly. My torso and lower arms started to tingle and the tingle gradually moved up to my neck and then my face then I went to another world. For me it was very much like a dream in that I wasn't conscious as I normally understand that word but I also wasn't completely unconscious(asleep) either, I was somewhere in between.

The first image I had was of a prehistoric looking fish in a beautiful mountain river. The water was pure and the sun was lighting up the various shades of tan river rock on the bed of the river. There was a slight current and I was gently swimming against it holding in one place. The entire scene felt very clean and pure. My existence itself felt the same way, very clean. There was nothing to do but sway back and forth and enjoy the beauty. After that in a dream like way of rapid shifts I became a sort of bright white jelly fish in a gigantic dark ocean. I was illuminated but the abyss surrounding was dark and nebulous. I was struck with a similar feeling of nothing to do and bliss. I some how came to the conclusion since I couldn't move any parts of my body that I was released from all responsibility to do anything and all I needed to do was float and be, it was liberating. At the end of this I did feel a sense of fear about the vast emptiness of the dark water.

Next I came to a vivid scene something like the Scottish highland. Rolling hills with the beautiful green grass. Some of my serenity of the jellyfish experience came with me as I stood there and gathered the situation. It seems I was in some kind of medieval war as I was wearing a old metal helmet and chain mail similar to the Braveheart movie. I believe I was wearing red and a enemy soldier was wearing blue. I don't remember him approaching me, I just remember being blissful until he thrust his wide medieval sword between my lower left ribs. This happens to be the epicenter of where I feel anxiety. The sword went all the way in and out my back and my bliss turned to tremendous terror. I fell down and tried to put up my leg to defend myself but it was to late. I drowned in my terror for what seems like a long time then I raised above the situation and was some how overtaken by laughter. I looked down at myself and it all seemed so funny, something like divine humor. The feeling of terror was incredibly strong but I simply experienced it, this is very different then my normal wakeful state where I spend a large part of my life avoiding situations that could land me in that kind of situation - knowing I am going to die and not being able to stop it, its a total loss of control and my fate being sealed. Its the space between knowing I'm going to die and actually dieing. I realize not wanting to feel terror is the major source of my anxiety. Thing is I felt the terror in all its glory and intensity, I experienced fully what my entire life I've been avoiding. It was painful but certainly not as bad as I had imagined it. In fact I felt it fully and I'm still alive to recount it, kind of. After this traumatic + hilarious situation I found myself enjoying the scene of the river at Banjo point. It was peaceful and then completely unexpectedly a gigantic crocodile which was under the mud burst out toward me.

I feel these 2 experiences sum up how I feel on a daily basis. Some unexpected threat is going to get me when I least expect it and the time between when it gets me and when I die will be unbearably painful and terrifying. This right here is my process on a daily basis. But I went through it and experienced it all, I experienced my greatest fear and lived to write about it. Interesting.

After this I became a red crab with 2 big claws. I was handing around the edge of the water moving my claws. The crab symbolizes having armor, being strong and having longevity.

After this I experienced flying at high speeds over a dirt road, there was a feeling of exhilaration, freedom and power. As I'm writing this I'm starting to see the correlation and how it all fits together, very interesting.

At the end I saw a lotus flower opening slowly and had the strong sensation that I have the right to feel all my feelings fully. I felt a weighty and important feeling of existence. Words are insufficient to really describe this feeling of self esteem, but I did feel it and it seemed more important than anything to me. I did not retain that feeling when I woke up but I think experiencing it in there was very important for some reason.

All these experiences and feelings seemed to move by fairly quickly and the entire process felt like about 5-10 minutes. When I woke up I felt like I came up through a series of levels each level bringing slightly more consciousness and awareness. I sat up at about level 7 out of 10 and felt extremely hungry. I tried to get up but I was very weak so Ed helped me over to the table and gave me some food. I felt taken care of and safe.

It seems to me I faced my fear and experienced it fully. I don't know where I go from here and thats okay by me.

Oct 1, 2013

Wait, It Gets Worse

Ed,

You might like this.

The New Yorker Magazine

Oct 1, 2013

Trading System Report #1

Ed,

Thank you for your support with my workshop follow-up.

Task status
x) Today I plan to type in my comments on Ed's book today from my paper notes. Next week comments from my economist brother about the technical economics aspects. I feel hot on the topic of surviving on the 39th day. I bring that to the workshop as something to work on. Thus it is integral to my trading work though not on the plan.
d) Automate and reduce the scope for error on running the system - Done.
e) Add option pricing data as filter for ETF system (gather data, write code, test if it works, implement). Tested, did not improve results. Done apart from a little checking.
f) Collect data and write code for Australian options system, test. verify results, work out trade sizing, implement). Next.

Also I reviewed my positions Friday but no trades were required (done every three days). I noticed I had made a small mistake on my trades due to misreading an 0 as an 8 probably due to my eye problems.

Time spent.
I have averaged 4.5 hours / day on the trading straight line since the workshop, slightly less than 4 hours per day in the last week.

Feels and impacts

My eye problem continues (though less severe) so I feel tired at times. I have diverged from my diet a couple of times, which I feel is due to the mental effort of programming. My positions which I put on last week have lost a little money. No great feelings arise from this. This report is a few hours late, which I attribute to working hard on my systems yesterday and being tired at the end of the day.

I had a hot seat and rocks process last week about a related issue, my feeling of discomfort when working on my systems. The hot seat opened up a can of worms behind this feeling and I think I have the underlying issue resolved.

Still working on receiving people. It is effective and works well, and feels good. but it takes a while to make it a habit.

Planned - detail to be elaborated as they get closer.
g) Ditto for US options system.
h) Find a solution for counterparty/broker risk.
h) Complete testing for FX and futures system, add some already identified strategies (simple to do given the framework is there) and implement.
i) Stock trading system for Australia using existing data. Code test implement.
j) Ditto for US.
k) Other ideas To be advised.

Oct 1, 2013

Missing Page

Hi,

Good Morning

First I'd like to say you have a great page at

http://seykota.com/tribe/FAQ/2010_May/01/Index.htm.

My name is [] and I am a science teacher in London. I also try and write helpful (hopefully!) articles and guides whenever I find a topic I think I can help with. I have bookmarked some of your links for future reference and projects - thanks.

I ran across a dead resource on your page, the homepage.mac.com/ravnhaus/ link is broken but I have a related article here http://www.flamingbarbecues.co.uk/Article/How-to-Barbecue-Fish-on-the-Grill. Just thought it might be of interest to you and your viewers.

Thanks for the great page, keep exploring!

Regards

Oct 1, 2013

Contemplating a Tribe

The Trading Tribe

I wish to change my tendency to shy away from achievement and leadership. I find myself uncomfortable with achieving my goals and also uncomfortable with failure.

I feel caught in a dreamer's cycle where I plan and act on goals and get to a certain point and stop. Once I stop I feel fear of total failure and feel compelled to set out again to achieve my goal. This process repeats in my life in various forms.

I wish to change playing victim always with a story or "drama" with the hope others will feel sorry for me and seek to console and soothe me. This is the only place I feel comfortable being he center of attention.

I wish to take these issues to hotseat but no tribe exists here in San Antonio, Houston tribe is closed and I feel I do not meet the requirements of Austin Tribe. Here goes that "woe is me drama".

I think to start a Tribe here in San Antonio but voices of doubt quickly come...so I write to FAQ. As I write I see NRH Tribe, I originally dismiss joining because of distance, but I email them and wait for response, but it seems to me now that if my intention is to change then I must take a step out of my comfort zone in the direction of change. I wonder if that next step is driving four hours or starting my own Tribe, I choose the scariest...

Oct 1, 2013

Close Your Eyes (Song Video)

Ed,

https://www.youtube.com/user/MichaelBubleTV

Oct 1, 2013

A Generational Low in Managed Futures

Hi Ed

Thank you for sharing Attain Capital paper, not sure if you are aware Clive Capital is closing this month (was one of the biggest commodity funds - with $5 billion AUM five years ago)

Financial Times report:

Clive Capital, one of the world’s largest commodity hedge funds, is to shut down and return about $1bn of capital to investors at the end of the month.

In a letter sent to clients on Friday, a copy of which was obtained by the Financial Times, London-based Clive said there were “limited suitable opportunities” available for it to profit from in the commodity market.

The fund’s “directional, long volatility approach” was unsuitable, it said, and could not generate the same kind of returns the fund had accomplished in previous years. Clive is on course for its third consecutive year of losing money for investors.

“It is unclear as to when a heightened opportunity environment will return in commodities, although ultimately, it most certainly will,” Clive added.

The fund, which at its peak had $5bn of assets under management, has shrunk as clients withdrew their investments in recent months. A spokesperson for Clive declined to comment.

Soon after its launch in 2008 by Chris Levett, a former star trader at Moore Capital, Clive carved a name for itself as one of the savviest commodity investors in the world. It was dubbed an “overnight sensation” by one trade magazine and rapidly pulled in money from clients eager to profit from a then-booming commodity cycle.

Clive made its clients more than 44 per cent in 2008, a further 17 per cent in 2009 and 20 per cent in 2010. In late 2009 it announced it would turn away new investors in order to stay nimble in the relatively small commodity markets.

The past few years have been less forgiving, however. Clive lost 10 per cent in 2011, 9 per cent in 2012 and is down a further 9 per cent so far this year. In one single week in 2011, Clive lost more than $400m after steep, unanticipated falls in the price of oil.

Clive’s poor returns come as the economy decelerates in China, the main engine of growth in global commodities demand. Copper prices have fallen by a quarter since the start of 2011 and oil prices have been treading water despite fleeting spikes. In markets such as natural gas, volatility has died down.

The NewEdge Commodity Trading Index, an index of commodity hedge fund performance, is heading for its third straight negative year, with a loss of 2.4 per cent in 2013 to date.

Clive’s admission of “limited, suitable opportunities” was “like taking a parting shot at the industry”, said an official at one commodities hedge fund group, which like others has seen assets under management decline.

BlueGold Capital, run by Pierre Andurand, shut in April last year after losses.

Arbalet Capital, which only launched in April 2012, announced earlier this week it would also be shutting down.

“All these inflows have stopped,” said one commodities hedge fund investor. “Now the discussion at board meetings is, what are we doing with this commodities crap? What are we in it for again?”

Oct 1, 2013

Too Intense

Ed,

1. during the weekend I think a lot about you and the guys and hope that
you have a great breathwork. In the previous weeks I feel a strong
desire to attend it and be part of the group, however I am worried that
it can be too intense an experience to me right now. My heart is with
you all during the journey.
2. Maybe you want to send me the link to readproof your new book.

Best regards,

Oct 1, 2013

Lawnmower Man

Ed,

I feel joy that I was able to share in your empowering process.

I feel disappointment that our agreement was not clearer because I do not believe that you owe me $10. I intended that the word fix meant that I would supply the labor. Sharing my lawnmower fixing advice and providing motivation is part of my commitment to the tribe. As a fixer of lawnmowers I commit to change my agreements
for future endeavors. I am also happy to receive any feelings you may have about your intention to have an unclear agreement

Now if you wanted to build this there may be a fee ... and some assumption of liability:

Oct 1, 2013

Photo

Ed,

You might like this photo from your recent trip to Canada.

Photo by Richard Blair