I read your reply to the question (of whether you miss anything about life in the 50 states) as saying that if you miss something you must have fallen into the past.

As a recovering "medicator" I find myself in the present moment with simultaneous feelings of happiness and loss.

I see myself functioning more fully and happily without my medicinal behavior, and at the same time I miss the fantasy and drama of the "old days", though I do not want to go back there.

Surely, TTP allows for mixed emotions.

Sincerely,

I smoke during the work day. I smoke before I work out and I smoke after I eat. Recently I keep my cigarette intake to 4 a day. I smoke when I feel lonely and I smoke when I want to delay something. I also smoke to get away from or take a break from a situation. I also smoke during the calm after the (emotional) storm.

The situation I want:

I use proactive solutions to my feelings. I would also like to find a different way to deal with my feelings when life moves fast.

I recently read this book and I though it would be a good recommendation for the trading tribe tool box.

Cheers

Aug 29, 2014

Sure Thing

Ed,

All but one of 100+ UN requirements have been met to recognize the sovereignty of Iraq and to revalue their currency. The biggest requirements have been met just recently...election of president, appointment of Prime Minister [Maliki finally stepped down], and the approval of their budget. The last requirement is to seat all 31 cabinet members of which 28 have been ratified. The remaining three are expected to be ratified soon i.e. next week. Soon after that we are told that all Dinar currency exchangers and banks will stop selling Dinar [small dealers have stopped selling this week already], then the RV will happen, and shortly after that they will put it back on the market at the new postRV value. I'm told that the biggest goal of the UN and IMF is not the RV of IQD but the GCR [Global Currency Reset] of about 180+ countries in order to stabilize the global economy.

There is also a lot of attention focused on Tuesday, September 2nd for a possible trigger date for the dominos to fall. From my limited research, as per the Dodd-Frank Act, the big banks who gambled with derivatives are required to make their first of ten annual payments [to Europe?] for the mortgage-backed securities and to the IRS. If the government doesn't get their share of taxes to cover their social programs, they may be going after the pensions [hinging on Detroit bankruptcy outcome] of retirees, taxes from FATCA, and from the taxes of new millionaire/billionaire Dinarians by bail-ins [haircuts like Cyprus] of the banks.

That's my Dinar play!

Dear Ed,

I feel happy to see you update FAQ this morning after four or five days.

I laugh at myself as I eagerly lap up FAQ's, as if I wander in the desert for days and finally find an oasis. A cool drink of water feels really good.

I really enjoy both writing and reading FAQ's, especially when your responses stimulate me to look at something from a different perspective, and when the writers show how they work to honor their feelings and those of others.

I also feel a sense of community when I write, as if I write to many friends who have interest in what I might feel and think. This feels comforting and connecting (the assumption of rapport?).

Weird? Perhaps, and I feel fine with that!

Have a great day,

I see how comfortable you appear in Puerto Rico...I wonder if you miss anything about the good ole USA, and the Great State of Texas.

Cheers,

I notice on some days lots of s--t tends to happen not just to me but to people around me.

---

Thank you for your responses.

Aug 29, 2014

Tickling Palladium

Chief,

I wonder how you feel about the palladium?

It reminds me of taking my son to the school in the morning.

I have to yell at him to wake him up, or tickle him.

He slips off the bed and continue sleeping.

He would sit at the breakfast table and space out, while the clock ticking.

It takes forever for him to tie his shoes. He looks really lethargic, and really tests my patience.

Thanks,

My second workshop issue:

The Condition I have:

I sit with a friend and we discuss how I fair at work. Enthusiasm, seeps out of me as I speak about how surprisingly agreeable my work life and environment are. The position of accountant's assistant, at a growing high-end wood flooring construction company, suits me well. To company owner's and management's relief and surprise, their decision to hire me, with no experience in construction accounting, and very little accounting work experience, I learn quickly the construction accounting software and produce/contribute to the well being of the company sooner than they anticipate.

I hear rumors of a raise in the horizons that is to come to my way since the company owners, worry I may take my new found knowledge construction accounting, billing and software, to another company who willingly pay me more than what I currently earn.

The project manager, the owner's right hand man, brings my awareness that the heads of the company and him including, want me to take over the primary accounts position. I smile, and nod, what an outstanding compliment, I have been with this company for 1 month.

As I speak with my friend, I share my concern over managements encouragement of me replacing the primary account, the man I assist, who headed the process of getting me hired, and created my position by having repeatedly complained and asked for an assistant to help with his work load.

I want to earn more but I do not want the responsibility of a leader or head of department. I do not want that spotlight or exposure that comes with position of leader or head. The thought of the scrutiny of conduct and decisions, the stress, over potential doom, failures or mistakes, the responsibility, shame, backlash and/or embarrassment of outcomes (decisions) that result in failures, oversight, or mistakes, feels unbearable to me.

The blood drains from my cheeks, the close lips turn down in a frown, my brows, and forehead furrow into a frown of concern, dread and panic. I feel the dread in my throat, my throat muscles contract and in the middle of my throat passage, a lump or rock jams the passage, it is hard for me to swallow. My breath is a rapid, warm, and shallow. I lean forward in my seat as I feel dread settle in my stomach and feel the energy drain from my muscles (arms, legs). I place my elbows on my knees, my head hangs, as I cradle it between the cusp of my clammy palms.

To assist is less grave, since I am not responsible for failures, negative outcomes, and I do not want to give up any more of my time and energy to work, I enjoy and treasure my after work leisure hours. In the background, I feel comfortable. I realize that in previous opportunities or events which put me in the spot light, and require me to take on a lot of responsibility\ownership over outcomes, panic, fear, and dread set in and I either decline, hide, buckle, get defensive, or flee.

The Condition I want:

I actively and graciously, accept responsibility for myself, and the situations that I experience. I do not shy away from responsibility, experiences, or challenges. I accept responsibility of the results of all my decisions including the failures and/or mistakes. I understand that my intentions = results, and actively make use the snap shot process to clarify, define, and manifest intentions. I no longer work at as an accountant's assistant. I enjoy the freedom, security, experiences, and opportunities that I have as a woman of independent means. I own, run my own business. I thrive and experience success. I have constant motivation, passion, energy, and confidence. I love what I do as a private salon hostess and owner.

I closed my trading account and returned the remaining funds to my family.

It proved impossible to come up with a system to trade my family's money, which I had been feeling that I could not loose.

I should had followed your advise 'if you can't afford to loose don't trade' and I should had applied to your workshop a few years earlier to help me move from control-centric to intimacy-centric relating sooner.

Unfortunately with no money available now, I feel that my endeavor in trading has ended. Thank you for everything.

Another Govopoly example. They may catch on yet.

http://www.project-syndicate.org/commentary/simon-johnson-says-that-200-years-after-the-british-captured-the-us-capital--big-banks-are-doing-it-again

A number of years ago, through Tribe and friendship, all of you received, encouraged and supported my feelings. For that, I am grateful as it gave me the opportunity to accept and know my real father and for that matter, myself.

Thanks.

Regards,

Recently I notice a small knot on the right side of my lower back. I think ai know from where and from whom I receive this. I wonder how I can get rid of it.

Also I dream about workshop last night and you drive me in a green lamborghini. You wear green pants. You have lots of pictures of my fun times from my college days which I wonder how you get them. And also you invade my personal space to test my reaction and I tell you to move back bicely and effectively.

Thanks for listening,

We have 4 members in our Aug 15 EVL (Yorba Linda) tribe meeting.

While waiting for other members, I want to work on a role play of an early incidence. I remember once in the high school, the physics teacher is discussing with other students in the office and I am waiting on a chair. I am not listening to them. I am thinking of something else and start to smile. The teacher sees me and becomes angry. He ask me to stop smile and tell me that I act weird and insane. I try to stop smile and can't control my facial muscle. So the teacher gets more angry and be even harsher to me.

A member volunteer as the teacher. I tell him that the teacher simply asks me to stop without asking what I am thinking. So he starts to talk to other students and I start to daydream and smile. He ask me stop and scold me why I keep smiling. The teacher even asks me to stand up. We repeat couple times before I start to get the feeling.

Then I try intimacy centric method. I ask the teach how he feels when he sees me smiling, he tells me that he feel I am making fun of him. It surprises me. For that's something I never realize. I tell him that I feel hard to focus while watching he talk to other students, I feel I don't know whether I should join the conversation or just wait. I feel bored and start daydreaming. I don't even remember what I am thinking of when the teacher stops me. The teacher become nicer when hears this.

Then I want the 2nd member to play the teacher. He ask me to explain to him why I smile, am I trying to challenge or ridicule him, or just daydreaming. If it's the 1st, he is not OK with it. If it's the 2nd, he is fine with it. I tell him I am just daydreaming. He then ask me why I am daydreaming, and if the work is too easy for me. If so, he can find other questions for me to keep me busy. I like the idea.

I ask the 3rd member to play the teacher. This time, the teacher asks me to stop smile, and I can't do it. He gets angry. He also feel I am trying to challenge or ridicule him when he is explaining physics theory to other students, before I tells him I am simply daydreaming. When I ask him how he feel about my daydreaming, he tells me that he feel concerned, and tell me I might talk to the school nurse about my condition. I thank him for the concern and tell him I don't know what to do sitting here, and if I can join the conversation. He agrees.

This process helps me to see more elements in the early incidence. The first is how the teacher feels when he sees me smiling. I recall during that period in high school, I am imitating my smart friend, reading a lot of books about relativity theory, quantum physics, etc, and the teacher is talking to the student about Newton's laws. He most likely feels I am challenging him with more advanced knowledge, as all of the members interprets during the role play. By proactively ask the teacher to share his feelings, I am able to place myself in right position clear misunderstanding.

It also reminds me of my situation of boredom, and feeling of out of loop. By sharing the feeling of wondering if I want to join the discussion, I can prevent such drama from even happening.

I release all members from the roles. I decide to use the method I learn from the Puerto Rico Tribe meeting recently. Every client must work with and pass the test from all the other members in his process. In my case, I have 3 members play my teacher.

We start drumming.

One member recalls recently he often recalls that when he was little boy, his father invests money to his brothers and them lose all the money. The dad tells his mother and they start to quarrel, and then his father comes to him and talk to him. His father is very angry when talking to him. The father tells the boy that, to be a man you must be rich, you must succeed and must make your parents proud of you. If you don't, you won't have a house, won't have a family, and nobody respects you. The boy is terrified by the tone of the father and has to promise his father everything to calm down his father, even he knows nothing about those promises. The client tells the tribe that after his parents pass away, he starts to recall these incident and can't get over it. He wants to relive this incidents with his heart rock.

This member recently has a similar hot seat and feeling hotter after that meeting. He wants to role playing this situation and relive it with intimacy centric methods.

So we start role playing. The dad comes home and tell the mom the bad news. The mom starts to blame him and the brothers. The father starts to defends his brother and eventually blames the mom for bring him bad luck. The mom feels emotional and shuts down. She goes to the other room, shuts the door and starts to cry.

The client tells all these details to the Tribe members and we reconstruct this drama. Then the boy starts to ask his father how he feels. The dad says he feels sad, angry about himself, and feel shame. The boy share his fear, confusion and pressure to promise something he doesn't know about.

When it's my turn to play the father. I find myself easy to get into the role. It reminds me of many time I spend money on impulsive business idea, losing money in the market and regret marrying a wrong wife who brings me bad luck.

When she leave the room, I storm to my son and pour all my feelings to him. I feel I want to find someone on my side, and someone carry my hope and frustration. The son keep silent for a while and I feel out of steam. I start to feel regret. Then the son asks me how I feel. I feel sadness and shame. I then I feel I am talking to the wrong person. He is too young to carry this. My son ask me how I feel if I talk to mom, and he shares his fear if we are going to separate or divorce. I feel sorry for making him feel this way and ask him to go play and forget all of this.

During the check out, the client shares with tribe that he is able to see more information out of this happening. Per your suggestion in recent FAQ, we might need another full rock process for this member in next meeting if the member is willing to. The mom seems to be the donor of the medicinal rock in this case.

The 3rd member has an issue with his coworker. But after the first 2 processes in this evening, he seems to be happy and has no more issue. He shows interest in process management and starts to ask the 4th member about his issue.

The 4th member wants to find some external force to hold him accountable, so he can be more disciplined on trading. He tells the Tribe if he works for an organization and there's a supervisor watch him what to do and not to do, he can do much better in trading. He wants the Trading Tribe to be one of such force which can hold him accountable. I feel that he doesn't believe in self discipline.

I share with him and the Tribe what I think about this issue. I think the Tribe is a place to help the member to learn the skill to self discipline, not a place to discipline him.

I don't believe other Tribe members have any power to really hold him accountable. I think there maybe three options for him, 1st, find a job as a trader in a trading firm and have a supervisor to apply military rules, like jobs as dealers in casino, 2nd, go to some places, like Trading Tribe, to learn skills to be self discipline, 3rd if he is already doing well enough, he can start trading client's money, and this can help him and the clients may hold him accountable.

The client tells us he wants the 2nd deal. He tells the Tribe he has an guilty issue. He recalls that when he was a little boy, once his father buys a new shiny shoes for him. He is excited and goes out to find his friends. He shows off his new shoes to the friends and make moves with the spiky heels. He then notice that all the friends looks very jealous and even unfriendly. He feel bad about himself, and he feel guilty to make others feel bad about themselves.

I ask the 3rd member to be Process Manager if the 4th member wants to work on his issue. They both agree. The rest of us play the friends. When he comes to us to show off his shoes and tells us his dad buys it for him, we all look sullen and turn away or lower our heads. Some of us leave without talking to him.

I find myself easy to get into this jealousy state. Aha. I avoid looking at him, and tell the friends my parents want me to go home now. He try to talk to me and I ignore him. I find this is my pattern when feeling jealous.

So now it's the client's job to try to break the ice with each member and create rapport. The PM reminds him to share feeling with friends.

The client asks one friend how he feels about his shoes, the friend tells him that he feels the client might win the race with the new shoe and he feels worry. The client seems to like this finding through sharing feelings. He tells us this is something totally new but really reasonable to his friend. He asks how the friend feels if client plays with him while wearing the new shoes. The friend says he doesn't like it. The client then asks if the client wants to have a try of the new shoes, the friend declines. He tells the clients he likes to play with the client when he wears the same or similar shoes as other friends. The client agrees and goes back to change.

Then the client talks to another friend and wants to know how he feels about the new shoes. The other friend tells him that he feels sad, his dad can't afford buying a shoes like that for him. The client thanks the friend for telling him that. He then tells the friend that he feels guilty to wear the shoes, and feels regret. And he worries if they want to play with him or not. The client asks him how he feels about playing with him. The friends says ok.

When the client comes to me and tells me that he feels happy about this new shoes, I feel even sadder. I stand up and tell other friends I am leaving. The client asks me if I feel sad, I tell him no. My parents want me to go home early.

We do couple more times and I get away again each time. I find my position is easy to defend and hard to break. It's much easier to hide feelings with an excuse.

The PM reminds the client to share feeling and we role play again. This time the client asks me how I feel about his shoes, I look at it and tell him it's good. He then tells me he feel guilty and regret to wear his shoes, for he worries nobody wants to play with him. He then tell me he wants to play with me and he can take off the new shoes and wear the old shoes if I don't like it. I immediately feel guilty and tell him it's ok to keep the shoes on. I can play with him a little more time.

The client is able to create rapport in each of the 3 cases. We then check out and release the roles.

This is an intensive meeting and we conclude the meeting at almost mid-night. Everybody is excited. I thank the member who volunteers to be the process manager and really appreciate his courage and willingness to help others.

In this meeting, we use the new routine, to ask each client to work with every other member to pass the test, which I learn from recent Peurto Rico Tribe meetings. We want to continue this routine in coming tribe meetings. We talk about a camp out in [Lake Area] in a coming weekend and some member want to join.

Thanks,

You have a brilliant light, cause a man to think, reconsider, tear down, examine the wreckage, reconstruct, rethink, tear it all down again as part of the clarifying process, as part of the growth flow.

You've given me a lot, already eternally grateful. Thank you for sharing your insights, your swatches of luminescence, pushing me to think.

See you in October. Hope to chat with you before then.

Until then, be safe and well.

Last one year I realize that I had something wrong about psychology on trading. Last two or three trade I realize that what was wrong. I notice that when I have position I became side of my position and I perceive things which shows me that why I am right. Briefly I defense my position. It could be normal unless if I would perceive also the reasons why I can be wrong but no I don't perceive even I cannot see very clear signals which shows to me why I am terribly wrong. Magically after one or two days later after I close my position my vision is getting clear as much as a sunny day.

Then I start to read to understand what's going on; I found something in the book named "Trade in the Zone". It was something like; when you have position you afraid to be wrong and your subconscious would show to you evidence why you cannot be wrong while it hides the evidence why you are wrong. So problem is Subconscious is fighting with me. I am in big surprise because I am mathematic person and I am so far from these kinds of things. I know it's true because it explains on my side all what I feel.

I keep reading I found another books which is telling that its possible to manage subconscious by self-suggestion I will try also I read an article it was about minimize emotions and Bruce Kovner said "You must know what you will do before you put in trade" also Its look like good idea I already start to make trade plan before I am in trade.

I would like to ask to you, I am sure you have same problems. Is there any method to use stop our subconscious? Is there any way, while we have position, looking at the price chart and making decision exactly same way when we don't have position?

Thanks for your valuable time,

Best Regards,

Just found this quote of yours on my Twitter feed. I first saw it in your interview with Jack Schwager for his book "Market Wizards". It was the quote that prodded me to eventually get that initial meet with you over 20 years ago.

It just might hit new readers the same way that it did me. Brace for new requests to meet.

Restating the question...is the move to PR worth it?

Regards,

What specific advantages are to be gained by having a residency there?

Regards,

I write to you again. Somehow I feel so secure with myself right now. I have a group of people who accept me. My friend that I use to bully, tonight I meet up with him to work out and I want to help him and also help myself by getting into a routine. I give him positive encouragement. He seems skittish at first but at the end of the night He thanks me and he wants to have this get together two times a week.

Also now that I focus myself at work, I dont feel the need to worry about petty things and petty people. I can do what I do and others can do what they do. I dont have to worry about others. I worry about myself and I can want the best for others but that is their decision to make. When I give as much or more than I take, I feel secure with myself.

I dont know where this leads. Just feeling really happy right now and want to share.

Thanks for listening,

You empower others to better themselves and you provide patience, acceptance, and nurturing to your Tribe. And your FAQ Tribe. Thank you.

I feel happy.

Thanks Ed,

I look at pornographic pictures today after I have a productive and enjoyable day. I find myself frowning and feeling sad for the performers. I find this surprising since I used to look at and hoard a lot of porn. I think I change in the right direction.

I go to your website and I remember a dream I have last night:

I walk towards a window/door overseeing the ocean. The waves move and I see the water sink before a giant wave swells and heads for the building I stay in. I run and grab a blanket to line the door with as I close it (thinking about it now, I dont see how that helps). I run to a room where around 12 or so people holed up. The room feels tight and cramped and I worry about how long we can last in this room.

I think about my sister and I want to invite her into the room. I tun downstairs and I find a posh victorian era like surrounding. I see two babies lounging on the sofa with wooden trims in gold paint. The place looks very open, something out of a french renaissance painting. I see my sister and my aunt painting together in their seperate canvases. The room feels safe and open and airy.

I remember very few non linear details after this part.

...I remember seeing my boss at the office and he take me to ride in his porche to another building...

...I remember walking into my room in the basement of the building naked while maintenace crew works on something in my room...

...I remember seeing my dear friend [Name], I borrow his clothes and he wears mine and my clothes dont fit him properly. I tell him to switch clothes...

...I remember walking to a cash register at a gift shop...

Thanks for reading,

Thank you for your response to my mirage email. I do not know what comes out of my decision to attend the workshop and I can handle that.

The situation I have:

I try to have people understand me and what I see. I try to convince them. I feel I get nowhere with this tactic and maybe even dig myself a bigger hole. I feel the wolves coming out to get me, an uneasy feeling I try to block out. I no longer use partying / spending money /ballin' to make these voices go away. Somehow people think I continue to stay sick since I have a desire other than what others spend their money on. My family thinks I stay sick while I gain strength and a stronger resolve for myself and those I love. The less I say and try to listen and see the situation, the more people think I withdraw into myself. I see each person clearly now.

The situation I want:

I want to have resolve within myself. I take what others say into consideration but ultimately make my own decisions and pray that they will still love me. I want to show up at work early in the morning and work later and harder than my coworkers. I want to show my family I gain strength and that I can more than succeed to do this office work. I accomplish my office task of revising and proposing a new budget for the next fiscal year. I show my family my strength of will and character and I go to the workshop and see you.

Thanks for reading,

Might be of some use to you:

http://www.valuewalk.com/2014/07/puerto-rico-puerto-rico/
?utm_source=mailchimp&utm_medium=
email&utm_campaign=EMAIL_DAILY&utm_content=quick_link

best wishes,

I notice I use to bully people to manipulate them and get a sense of control. Since I come here, I refrain from that. My family members say I change for the worse. In the conversation I have with my sister she clearly tells me. She makes me feel like s--t.

I realise that I bully her before and I make fun of her decisions and she does the same to me I can feel her hurt. I regret what I say to her before. Now she says she has happiness because I tell her the truth, but she seems bitter about it.

People around me want the old me back. The old me bitches about everything around me (the restaurants we eat at, the furniture, people, everything) and pokes fun at others who try to live life according to themselves.

I provide my family entertainment when I do that since they know I wont bitch about them and feel relieved when I take out my snidy sarcastic comments on other people. At least thats what I think.

I wonder how one can go against the current when the current is family tradition. I talk to my uncle he tells me I fight the current by going to workshop. Trend traders do not fight the currents and they go with the flow.

I feel my chest contracting and tears well up in my eyes.

Thank you for listening,

More Govopoly in the News (see previous)
Sharing feelings about Social Issues

Dear Ed,

Thank you for asking me to share my feelings about a large number of people on welfare.

I feel heartbroken about a large number of people on welfare. I cry for the many who receive medicinal rocks so early in life, possibly the same rocks that many around them receive. The "dependent" culture poisons dreams and destroys confidence.

They learn to give up; they learn that gaming the system gives them what passes for self-esteem in their immediate world. I feel angry that our nation has evolved in this direction and I try in my limited way to shed light on the no-win situation that many passive and fearful people put themselves in by avoiding the risk of looking beyond their culture.

I feel encouraged when I am able to facilitate a disabled person's return to work. I grieve with those who truly cannot work, and I attempt to facilitate their self-acceptance even in the face of condemnation and misunderstanding from society at large.

You accurately describe a broken system in Govopoly. My heart breaks when I think about the process you describe and the outcome you predict.

My consolation lies in a vision for what comes next, when humans learn to share feelings and to band together for the common good.

I feel thrilled to be a part of the Trading Tribe and everything it stands for, even if I don't get it "right" myself much of the time.

While waiting for other members to arrive, I suggest that we do a role play of situation I encounter recently. I am sitting outside a apparel store waiting for my wife. I am reading something on my phone. Someone suddenly approaches me and hand me a flyer. I feel surprised, offended and angry. But I just take the flyer and that man leaves.

We role play this situation to explore how to use intimacy centric method to deal with such situation. Several members takes turn to play the man. I tell the man that when people suddenly make a move to approach me, I feel surprised and scared. I think he might want to hurt me. I feel a little offended and I don't like it. The man apologizes and leaves.

Then we switch roles. One member plays my surrogate and I play the man. I walk up to him and stick my hand bluntly to him and give him the flyer. I tell him it's half price for a show and he can take his wife for a wonderful evening. He tells me he is busy on something important. I then tell him that the wife is more important. He can't argue with me about that and I feel I have him. I give the flyer to him and walk away. He shuts down first then throw the flyer to the ground.

We play it again. He shows me an angry face and keep silent, while I am trying to sell him my flyer. Later he tells me he is very angry, he feels that he is disturbed. I feel embarrassed and a little scared, then I want to leave.

Then we start drumming.

One member reports an issue that he sometimes moves stop and make the loser bigger and sometimes he jumps the gun and enters the trade before the signal is ready.

Another member reports that he has an issue that he is often over nice to other people and can't protect his own interest or boundary. He is unable to tell people what he wants.

The first member is a new member and this is his first hot seat. Members and I heat him up by telling him it's not a problem to move stops. Sometimes it can save a winner. He looks confused and then insists it's a problem he doesn't like.

We then help the first member get into forms when he sees market approaching his stop. He says that he feels the tension in the upper body and his leg becomes tight. Later I freeze him and he recalls the situation of the first day he goes to preschool. He feels uncertain what happen, he feels not ready to go school and his mother leaves too soon after dropping him off. He stays in the corner and does not talk or play with any kids.

I ask him if he is willing to work on this, if so, he needs to stand up and ask each member for help. He stands up and tell each member that he wants to work.

Then we start role playing. A member volunteers to be the mother. He holds the client's hand and they come to the class. The client stays quiet in the corner. Couple of us play on the other side of the classroom.

We are not sure who is the Rock Donor, and ask the client who in his home normally don't show his feelings. The client says his father usually does. So one member plays the father and gives him the Medicinal Rock of shutting down when feel uncertainty, being alone and not prepared. The client seems not feeling very certain his father teaches him to hide his feelings, but he is willing to proceed with the process.

We play this episode for couple times before the Fore-Giving the Medicinal Rock. Later I play the messenger and deliver the Heart Rock to the client, and tell him it comes with 24/7 tech support. I ask him if he wants to do it himself or wants to watch a surrogate first. He says he wants to watch other member do it first.

So I volunteer to the be surrogate. When the mom drops me off and about to leave. I tell her that I am scared. I feel scared and insecure. I continue tell her I feel it comes to me too soon and I am not ready. Mom tries to calm me down. I ask her how she feels. She tells me that she might miss me in the day. I ask how she feels if I ask her to stay a little more. She tells me fine.

Then the client wants to play this himself. When the mom leaves, the client asks her to come back. I remind him to share feeling of wanting the mother to come back, instead of asking her to come back. We illustrate the difference of intimacy model and control model, to try not to give the mother any pressure or command. The client starts to tell his mother how he feels. And asks the mom how she feels. The mom opens up and tells him that she feels sad and she is going to miss him in the day.

During the check out, I share with the Tribe that I relate to this process, from both sides, the parent and the child. This process reminds me of the first day I drop off my son in the preschool. I have to hide my feeling and even hide myself to be able to get out of there. I am never really willing to see how my son feels in that situation. And the process shows me what is happening in the boy's heart. I could have done better that day, by asking how he feels.

It also reminds me of my very first day in preschool, which often comes back in to my mind during my life. I really freak out and run away from the school the first day after my mom drops me off. And I miss the entire school year.

When checking out, client expresses his concern if what we play is close to real situation. He says his mother even laughs when talking to the teacher and leaving the room. But he is looking forward to seeing what the process can affect his behavior after meeting. When I review this part of the meeting, I think that if I ask him to role play the situation again, and have the mom talk with teacher and laugh, the process might be able to reveal more possibilities. Somehow my own feelings blocks me from thinking of this.

In this process the client tells us few times his feelings are majorly his mom leaving too fast while he is not fully ready, and he feels scared and uncertain. Now I realize that this feeling is similar to the feeling of watching the market coming to the stop price, it comes too soon and I am not ready to take the loss. This might be the connection behind the process.

The following is the client's update after the meeting:

i have not moved any stops but it was not necessary to do so because it was not going against me.

i did notice though that i may have more inputs than are necessary, which cause me to rationalize moving the stop.

i am in the process of removing some indicators to simplify things and make it easier to not move a stop.

the hot seat was helpful in the sense of having announced it to others and become more accountable.

similar to AAA i think when people get up and announce their addiction to the group

Thanks,

I think I gain clarity for my situation. [Name] takes me to live in a wonderful and also scary mirage. She paints such a beautiful picture that I step into. I believe her story. I try to save her. I bring burdens on myself and my family to do so.

If people repeat their childhood throughout their lives, I wonder if one can change the pattern. I speak specifically about [Name]. I guess I don't want to feel loss.

My sister gets upset at me and she tells me how she sees the situation. And I can sense her pain and frustration with my decision to see [Name] again.

I get clarity but not the clarity I thought I would get. I think tonight I step out of my delusion.

Ed, I write to you a lot during these past two years, especially the last couple of months. I wonder how you see my situation.

I would really appreciate it if you tell me what you see.

Thanks Ed.

Sincerely,

Thank you for the correction on my fact-filled rant. I agree that FAQ provides a special place for discussion based on feelings rather than facts.

I feel very sad and, at times, hopeless when I cannot establish rapport to discuss an issue, whatever it might be. I usually give up and don't bother trying (there's a Rock in there somewhere, I'm certain!).

Before I write to FAQ, I try to leave a comment for the author of the article but run into a request for a Facebook account, which I do not possess. I will pursue a communication with the author, as you suggest, and let you know how I feel about that.

I feel angry when I believe a person is attempting to manipulate the opinion of others in the service of controlling their emotions. Rapport and shared problem-solving create a strong feeling of well-being in me.

Thank you,

I notice subsequently Ed also thanks someone else for experimenting with the format.

I enjoy your new feature, "Govopoly in the News". Thank you for providing examples of the real-life expression of some of the issues you mention in your book.

I wish to point out the dubious math ... [page full of complaints, facts and opinions] ... allow me to draw my own conclusions, or at least do not attempt to mislead me.

In the meantime, I read every article with awareness that true objectivity probably cannot exist in the realm of opinions.

Your faithful reader,

"If you want to have lasting change in your life, you need to refocus your mind. Specifically, you need to change your thought patterns from focusing on what you don't want to focus on to what you do want to focus on. Why? Because whatever you focus on is what you move toward."

Aug 24, 2014

Embarrassment

Ed,

I feel embarrassed to have sent the video when now it is evident that you found it inappropriate for posting.

I accept that my embarrassment is totally my responsibility and I'm fine with it.

I just want to tell you how I feel.

Hope you have a happy day!

Thank you for the heads up.

I never think of this that deep.

It seems to be exactly what you mention about the residual symptoms of heated up client.

Actually the client requests and we work on the similar event in a subsequent tribe meeting on Aug 15th.

But we are still missing the rock donation and fore-giving process. I plan to ask him if he wants to redo the Fore-Giving the Medicinal Rocks in next meeting.

I am putting together the Aug 1st and Aug 15th local meeting right now.

Thanks a lot for the help!

One member reports his issue with his mother. His mother is in foreign country. When he calls her, she complains about her situation. She needs him to be around and take care of her and his dad. She blames his brothers for not taking her to doctor's office, getting prescription medication for her. She also complains she doesn't have enough money. She also implies that the member should go back to his home town and take care of them, or send more money to them.

The member listens quietly on the phone. But the conversation leaves the member in a bad mood and affects his daily life. He wants to be able to deal with his own feeling more efficiently when talking to his mother.

I volunteer to be the mother and we have a talk on the phone. His story remind me of my own situation. My parents are old and they often need me to take them to doctors, pick up medication from the pharmacy. My mom couple days ago blames me not taking enough care of her and I become emotional. I express the feeling my mother has in the role play with the member. In the Rock Process, people naturally match.

We help the first member get into Forms. When his feeling become intense, I freeze him. He recalls that when he was a little boy, his father make him a nickname, wild animal, in front of neighbors. In his country, that name is a negative comment. His neighbors laugh at him and continue calling him animal many times after the incidents. He feels humiliated, sad and shutdown.

Another member reports his issue in his recent effort to work with foreign government. He notice during his communications with the government agency, his emotions often kicks in and make him less efficient. He describe there's a shock of all kinds of feeling coming in. He feels he doesn't deserve the position to stand for his family when requesting the government to address the issue. Tribe help him to explore the feelings and he experiences anger, and then sadness. He recalls that once he plays toy in the living room when he was young boy, his father comes in and pat his head. His father looks sad, desperate and depressed. It's unusual for his father always looks tough, strong and confident.

We start to role play the situation of the first member. I play the neighbor. When his father calls him animal, I laugh at him. The client lowers his head and shuts down. We start to make fun of him, ask him to wiggle his tail, sit, stand, and walk. He looks unhappy and starts to leave us, and we laugh more. The second day I see him, I call him animal again. By playing this role, I find that I enjoy teasing people, I feel better about myself. I find I have talent to making fun of people. I feel scared about this finding on myself. I feel alert.

Then we role play again and the client tries to do something else. He ask me not to laugh at him and not to call him animal. I tell him his father does so too. And I tell him when elder people talk to him, he should show respect, listen and keep quiet. He shouldn't argue with elder people. He stands there and look angry. I tell the father that his son is stupid and I am angry and leave the room.

Then the client start to talk to his father. After a while when I come back the room, I am surprised to see the father is telling his son he loves him. I don't know how the client does it and he is sharing feeling with his father. He tells him he feels his father loves his brothers more and he feel sad about it. And the father tells him that he hopes the client has the same achievement and he love the son. I am glad the client make his way out of this situation.

In the second process, the father comes home in a bad mood and tells the young kid a lots of things, which for the kid's age, is unbearably too much. He tells the son not to trust anybody. Tell him don't put all eggs into one basket. He talk about his recent loss in his investment, and betrayal of business partner. The young kid feels surprised and confused. For his father is always strong, positive, confident and the backbone of the family. He feels he can't accept such a change in a minute.

Then the client has the opportunity to re-live this with his new intimacy-centric method. He ask how his father feel about the loss in the investment. The father start to talk about his sadness. The client does a good job in receiving, listening quietly and acknowledge in time. I can see that the member manages to stay focusing on the feelings. I am glad tribe member starts to apply this technique fluently and make his way out of drama.

We check out, release roles and conclude the meeting. The client sends me the update few days after his process. He agrees me to post his e-mail here.

Thanks,

-----

Hot seat member's update after meeting:

Hi Tribe,

Since last Friday's meeting and hot seats, I actually have become more and more emotionally challenged because my last hot seat actually started to bring forth an entire set of situations that happened in my early childhood (two to three years old) which were very traumatic and I was literally in Rock (the TTP kind) City.

It all started with my father's poor investment but there actually were quite a few more incidents that followed between my parents and the explosions that ensued behind closed doors (which I was involved intimately because I was the only-child in the family and both my parents used me privately and extensively as their reluctant sounding board to voice and share their own private thoughts, doubts, and fears whenever they did not dare or willing to share their feelings and thoughts to each other).

It actually was a very, very messed-up personal experience for a two-to-three year old child. And in the past few days the negative feelings and strong emotions from these have surfaced quite often to eventually make me feeling kind of half-dead and no-energy, not eating and sleeping well, so it just has not been a comfortable experience to me at all.

But I am still hanging in there, I feel it is better to get this over with and pick the Rocks clean than running away from all these feelings and leaving them hanging around my subconscious and psyche like a few times I could recall in my past. Sometimes being (brutally) honest to oneself hurts (and can really hurt quite a bit after all the feelings and emotions surface as well), but then only by getting through it then one could truly start healing and making proper present-time decisions and cultivate new behavior patterns. So I will bear this cross through, and because now there is the Tribe and TTP Rock process in my life, there is definitely ways to make a difference and the methods to get through this properly and speedily (hot seats, here I come...)

I have learned first-hand this time that post-hot-seat experiences are not always pleasant and read like some Tony Robbins success stories. As a matter of fact, it actually could get pretty ugly, but of course not hopeless or helpless because of the TTP Rock process and the Tribe with me.

I will keep updating as much as I could before the next meeting.

Sincerely,

We have 5 members in July 2nd meeting in ELV(Yorba Linda) Tribe.

One member reports that he notices his pattern of reaching half of his potential and then give up. He give examples in this trading, he often take profit when the trend is only halfway, he also notice the same pattern in his career. Tribe help him to get into forms and he experiences sadness ant then some boredom feelings relate to this. Later he recalls that when he is young boy, he once gets straight As score in the school. He comes home excited and goes to his father's room to report the good news. His father is on the phone and very impatiently dismisses him. He starts to feel bored then his mom comes. His mom tells him if he is doing excellent, he doesn't need to let people know, just staying low and being normal makes him safe.

We start role play this early situation, until the mother deliver the medicinal rock. After fore-giving this rock, I play the messenger to give him the heart rock. Somehow I forget what I usually say to the client and only tell him to stay with his feelings. I feel I don't have anything to guide him and just tell him to stay with feelings. This is unusual for I always remember all the lines in the process as a messenger, but now I just feel less desire to act as a "Know how" guy or a guide. I want to let the client to direct his own show, using the entire tribe as his cast. It's a new feeling I ever have.

I notice this feeling after my recent hot seat in Austin tribe, where I work on my issue of wanting my wife to share feeling and accept TTP (my Jun 17, 2014 tribe report). After that, I feel some loss of ego and don't want to assume I know TTP either. In this process in my local tribe meeting, I just feel I don't want to do anything to "manage" his process, the only think I can think of is telling him focus on his feelings. I feel I want him to create his own experience.

So the client repeats the same skit again and again. And every time he repeats the drama, he figures out something new, adjust parameters and acts differently. Sometime he finds his mother and share with her his feeling (during the checkout, the father tells the Tribe that when he sees this, he feel he is out of loop). Eventually when he comes back home again, he stop talking to his father quickly after he notices his father is busy. Now he realizes he can be aware of his surroundings when he is feeling elated.

After the process, the client tells me that by repeating the skit and keep optimizing his response, he realizes that he has the pattern that when he feels excited on something, he often goes to and interrupt other people, regardless whether they are busy or not. Now he realizes the importance of being aware not to disturb other people when he is enjoying his own excitement.

After the meeting, the hot seat member tells me that he also realizes that he invites his mother to donate that boring rock to him. If he pays attention to what his father is busying on from the start, the drama doesn't start at all and he doesn't have a chance to receive the rock from his mom. I thank him for sharing with me his insight.

Another member reports his difficulty in his social life. He feels nervous and incapable of blending in social group. I ask him how he feels when thinking of going out there, he points his stomach and tells us he feels something there. Tribe help him get into forms and later he feel a pinch in his rib, then he recalls that when he was little boy, he overhears his parents arguing in the other house. Tribe start to role play this situation.

One member volunteers to be the father, and the couple start to quarrel. The members don't know which topic to argue about and the client tells us is not exactly the way it is.

I feel again the need to have the client to custom design his own show and let him go anywhere he wants. The client then tells the members that the topic is not important, and the decibel is important. So the couple starts to raise their voice. The client seems to get into the feeling and his eyes get wet.

We identify that he is afraid of crowd and loud noise. I ask him if he want to work on it and proceed. He says he is not ready, and want to do it next time. So we conclude the process.

It's a great meeting I learn the skill of letting the member create his own experience in his process.

Thank you,

I think you read my e-mail about this. Or maybe not. Anyways I have an AHA about this that life presents me an opportunity to create an intimacy centric relationship with this person. I see how I treat him might make him feel sad and angry with me. I guess I would like more confidence to approach control centric people using intimacy centric values. I worry that if I open up my vulnerability then this person can use it against me.

I also see that my attitude towards him could drive what the voices in my head tell me would happen. Maybe if I approach using intimacy centric values we can come to an understanding.

Thanks for listening Ed,

Also I know I send you a lot of emails. I would like to get the most out of my workshop experience.

-----


Hi Ed,

[Country] enslaves people Ed. I cannot survive here. I feel my soul slowly dying with each new person I see chasing fleeting moment of happiness and slowly giving away.

Ed, I think living here takes something from me.

Since starting this e-mail an hour earlier on my phone I feel more comfortable in my surroundings but I feel dark energy around here. I wonder if I get tainted.

Thanks for listening Ed,

-----

Hi again Ed,

I think I finally see you now. I don't think you actually trade anymore. I think you get money from workshops and phone calls. I think trading tribe reminds me of a cult, but I do think that whatever works works. I do not judge. You simply act as a mirror for the people who write to you. I remember [Name] telling me about your shaman stories and about the shaman who lets people see what they want to see and smell what they want to smell and taste what they want to taste. I think you do this. I learn much from you and from this experience. I do not hold jade in my hands.

I wonder about [Name] and if she sees what I see. She paints such a beautiful picture Ed.

I would like to receive a copy of the "Jademaster" but I don't think it exists.

My family doesn't want me to go to PR since we run low on funds. I would still like to attend.

Your student,

I try to make changes to my life. I create my own space to think and make plans to go out on my own. I begin my separation process when I go to [Country] to see my dear friends.

I have a talk with my uncle. He tells me that recently people begin to worry about me and they say I seem confused neither here nor there. I do not feel that way. I feel that I prepare myself to take flight from my nest where I recover mentally, physically, and spiritually.

My family wants me to stay here. I feel I need my own space to grow. I think about what this looks like from the outside.

My uncle wants to groom me for leadership at the company.

At the same time I feel more secure with the start of my newfound mental independence. I must work of financial independence. I know I can get a raise if I ask for it and even a place of my own, but I will remain in shackles if I do so. I wonder what freedom means and if one can achieve such a grand concept. Or if we remain in shackles in one form or another.

I share with you my goals of securing my own space and placing boundaries. I think that people sense this and want access to my mind. Whereas before people can control me and play me. Now I can see in certain people's eyes that they know that I know what they do and look uncomfortable when our eyes meet.

I look forward to your workshop.

Thank you for receiving me, I invite you to share with me also. I seem to receive better through e-mail at the moment. I practice intimacy centric relating with my family members. So far I seem to strengthen the connection I have with my mother. I learn much from you and from other FAQ contributors. I wish to continue learning and applying TTP principles in my life. It seems easier to practice with people who accept you.

Your eager and faithful student,

Aug 21, 2013

Feeling Without Attachment

Dear Ed,

Hope you have settled very well in your new place.

From what I learn from your FAQs, I start and learn to Feel my feelings without attaching meaning to them.

This helps me bring clarity in my life.

Thank you,

A recent experience of TTP at work, ELV (Yorba Linda Tribe member update)

A co-worker has been having a rough time with her boss for a long time now. I talk to her once in a while. Every opportunity she gets she will talk to me. Sometime she will grab me by the arm to tell me "you know what happened today".

She gets very emotional during these conversations. I make excuses to avoid her. Today as I was going to lunch she bumped into me and started walking with me. As she started to describe her new situation. I invited her to walk along to get something to eat. As we are walking she describes the new situation. Her boss telling her if she wants to 'get fired or something?' I keep on listening. Between pauses I describe my own worst experiences, my encounters with a colleague and a boss.

As we are walking she gets more and more agitated and angry. She keeps repeating 'do you wana get fired or something'. Not familiar with the TTP I do not invite her to role-play but I try to perform a role play. I re-enact a situation of my own when a boss wants me to do something not very ethical. I refuse to do it. The boss sends someone over at a time when no one is around. The person looks around and tells me "do you want to get fired from this job" and says it with a very stern and a harsh look on his face.

As I say this I turn around to face her and say it. She acts as if she is stunned for a few seconds. We keep on walking she tells me in more detail about the unfair treatment and she feels pain, even now she is worried that the boss is looking for her and will be mad when I get back. She mentions that the boss was suffering from emotional issues herself after breaking up with someone and took out the frustration on her.

We keep quite for some time eating lunch, after lunch she tells me that she feels relaxed now. She tells me that she is happy to have a family. She tells me about her two sons and how they are ready to get in the job market. She also shares with me that she is learning how to create an app to get a new skill set. She tells me she is lucky to have a family and a caring husband who has been supportive of her during this situation.

As I am listening to this, I feel I am walking back with a different person.

I look forward to [working on my issue] about "How much truth to tell" [at the Workshop]. I think I leave myself vulnerable when dealing with control-centric people when I give information.

---

After writing my last e-mail to you I begin to wonder what you want from me.

From my side I would like to absorb the knowledge you have to share and I would like to use your knowledge to support others and support myself.

As an addendum to my earlier report, I would like to add that I want to make clear agreements with the people I interact with.

Thanks for listening,

I temporarily move to London in February of this year to do business development and marketing for [my start-up fund].

Since February I have many meetings with different types of investors, high net worth individuals, CTA's, funds etc. I meet some very interesting people and develop some good relationships. I have close to 100 meetings in the 7 months that I am here. I see that my approach to developing [Fund] into a viable business might not be right.

I close my account and return money to my clients at the end of June exactly four years after I start trading my system. I spend five years working to develop this as a business and I stick to my trading system for exactly 4 years.

I am sad and find it difficult to make this decision with all the what "if's" going through my mind. I have a young family to provide for and my desire to provide the best I can for them is strong. I decide to move on.

This article pretty much sums up exactly how I feel and where I am in my life right now:

http://www.inc.com/magazine/201309/jessica-bruder/psychological-price-of-entrepreneurship.html

I am working on getting back on my feet and looking at different options of how to move forward with my life.

I am happy to call you to catch up if that's ok with you. I notice you move to Puerto Rico which looks very nice.

Kind regards,

I have realized two things from my research of successful trend followers :

1 mentors are key.

2 you learn best by doing.

I have reached out to Jerry Parker and others in an attempt to find an opportunity to pursue the aforementioned pre requisites.

I am wondering if you are willing to speak with me to give me a little guidance on how I can approach the above. You have been a great guide to many already. Many thanks in advance.

Best