Jun 30, 2014

New View of Quantum Mechanics

Ed,

You might like this article:
http://www.wired.com/2014/06/the-new-quantum-reality/?cid=social_20140630_26969566

Jun 30, 2014

What To Do With Empty Beer Bottles

Ed,

You might enjoy this video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=
player_embedded&v=NkbZlautuUc

Jun 30, 2014

Tribe Meeting Report

Ed,

Right now I think about our tribe meeting on 06.22.14.

I feel good about the meeting, although I have mixed feelings about our Tribe leader moving locations. I miss his friendship, acceptance, leadership and feedback at our meeting.

One member wants to explore his need to 'beat the system' as it relates to an emergency room visit with his wife. We explore the incident and the feeling of not knowing the cost of the emergency room visit before services are rendered. He reports mixed feelings about the incident and wonders if it is a problem. I feel empty and try to relate. I have no way of knowing if the need to 'beat the system' is a problem for him. I stand ready to support him if he wants to explore it further.

Hot seat 1 reports feelings of agitation from two 'unrelated' issues. The agitated feelings come with a one day delay. He reports wondering about this delayed feeling. Exploring the issues, the common theme involves uncertainty and his Christian mother's need to bring salvation to everyone, even interfering with his personal relationships to fulfill this need. During role play involving a specific incident, a surrogate son has difficulty getting through to his mother as she states repeated, "God told me to." The surrogate son is unable to get through. He appears confused and lost. It is a difficult situation even for the surrogate son. During this role play, hot seat reports re-remembering an issue involving his mother from his childhood. Hot seat ends the process expressing his desire to take it off-line.

Hot Seat 2 reports difficulty moving to another state to go to school. He is unable to leave his family to pursue something that he feels is in his best interest. He reports not knowing any application deadlines and admits this is a recurring self-sabotage pattern. He gets into forms and remembers as a child leaving a note then leaving the house only to return to not disappoint his mother. He remembers his dad used to get angry and leave the house when his mother accused him of holding out money from the paycheck. His dad always returned to his mother as she was crying and upset. During the rocks process, the father provides hot seat with a rock and tells him to use it. He tells him he can use the rock to get one-quarter or half-way to where he wants to go. His choice. He will always return to his mother. The rock is guaranteed to get him partially where he wants to go. We re-run the scenario with a heart rock providing the hot seat with new resources.

We do a judgment process practicing saying "thank you" to both negative and positive feedback. When accepting the comments as just feedback, I feel internal peace and tranquility and no residual turbulence. I find this satisfying.

Best.

Jun 30, 2014

Girlfriend

Ed,

Regarding your comment: "Your Girlfriend eventually winds up doing whatever she has to do to get you to feel what you don't want to feel."

Tribe Aha: you've met my girlfriend...lol

Jun 30, 2014

More on Dreaming (see previous)

Hi Ed,

Thanks for your reply. I wonder what the feeling is that you mention in your reply. I think it may be jealousy or insecurity or maybe anger.

It's our first meeting since the Tribe leader moved away. I arrive at about 3 PM and I am alone for about an hour. I wonder if anyone else will come from out of town and feel sad. By 5 PM, all six of us have arrived and I feel good. We check in and develop the issues of discomfort about family, uncertainty and judgment.

We role play and I'm a proselytizing mom. My trump card is "God told me to" and it overcomes all objections to unwanted sharing of my faith. The role playing brings up a deeper issue and the Hotseat agrees that we stop here.

Another Hotseat has feelings of uncertainty about applying to a school on the West Coast. We get him to talk about it and a form develops. He amps it up and when we "freeze it" a memory of running away when he was very young comes up. His Mom and Dad used to argue and when his Dad would leave his Mom would get upset, cry and beg Dad to come back. I identify the Mom as the stressor and Dad as the "don't leave & hurt Mom, come back" rock donor. We run a Rocks Process and replace the medicinal rock with a heart rock.

For a judgment process, we select one Tribe member at a time and then go around the circle and have all other members say something negative about the tribe member. The Tribe member acknowledges each remark with a "thank you". Then we repeat and each Tribe member says something positive about the "Hotseat". We rotate until each Tribe member has been in this Hotseat. Everyone likes this process.

Ed,

Aha!

It is my intention to bring the 8-year trend of the Amsterdam Tribe to an end.

Our tribe dwindles down to a total of two long-term members (plus myself), from a peak of eight members three years ago.

Along the way, I discover right livelihood in my work and choose to focus more of my time and attention on this.

I wonder if you might consider removing the Amsterdam Tribe from the Directory link on the Resources page of your website.

Thank you.

Jun 27, 2014

Agitation

Ed,

I wonder what the positive intention of agitation is?

Jun 27, 2014

Ants and Bulls

Hello Chief,

HOW are you? Did you know:
One of four creatures on earth are ants.
An ant migrates up my arm.
My transference, his intent.
"He's heading for my shoulder."
I thumb kick my ant.
My ant intended flight.
He reaches goal.
Even ants get what they want.
What's wrong with MY shoulder?

This stock will go higher. GWPH
http://scharts.co/1oapztR

As will TRTC
http://scharts.co/1oapztR

Jun 27, 2014

Stash the Flash

Dear Ed,

What do we do with a hot news flash ... We stash that flash right in the trash -- The Whipsaw Song (You Tube).

I wish in non existent future I start calling you My Dear Ed!

Pl see the six months chart.

http://www.bseindia.com/stock-share-price/lgbalakrishnan--brosltd/lg-balakrishnan/500250/#

I bought this share at 292. I sell all completely today when the TV started highlighting that the co has declared bonus and high dividend.

I look at my intentions. My plan is to sell when many people start praising this company. It's not that I feel they are wrong but I feel my need to book profits.

I feel tense that my profits may come down. I do not like that feeling. I take its positive intentions.

I sell all after tripling my money. Selling makes me feel balanced immediately. I feel relieved a lot. I like this new feeling.

So much to learn from you.

So much to thank you.

Best wishes and take best care Ed.

Jun 27, 2014

New Boston Tribe

Dear Ed,

I announce a new series of Boston Trading Tribe meetings, starting in September.

This series aims to support you in working on issues that stand between you and a major goal. There are 5 meetings, the 2nd Tuesday of each month, from 5pm until 9pm, near South Station.

Requirements: Commit to attend all meetings. Commit to report to FAQ within 10 calendar days after each meeting.

We are accepting no more than eight members.

Thank you for your continuing support.

Sincerely,

Ed,

See you ... at the workshop.

Finally getting a "round tuit".

Essay (poem?) / FAQ:

I attend / I intend

To embrace, explore and feel feelings
To encourage, empower and mend
To follow the turns of sensation
To accept
To learn
To openly be in the now
To partake and to share

Following the trend
Swelling with waves of clarity
Turning with bends
Trickling hints of what was, what could be
Whipsaw of sharp edged doubt

Tingling favors that color
Layers of muck that obscure
Cool chutes of fear dropping stomach
Soaring clouds of luck lifting heart to clear

Encouraging more presence
More trust
More of that!
More engagement
More willingness to fully hold

Feel and release
Accept the feeling
Ah-HA!

Sense of gratitude
Vibrant peace

Extending core positions in me
Developing skills
Accepting what is
Engaging in congruent honesty
Lovingly lifting the offer on fear
Equanimity
Gently hitting the bid

Our Tribe encircles
Beating, tapping, rhythmic
Cheering
Fully listening
Fully hearing

A unified chord
Intertwined threads
Out of our stories
Out of our heads

Deep into now

Becoming ourselves
Becoming each other
Engaging Fred

I serve myself
I serve others the same
Differentiation a rule in a physical game

Inside and out
Accepted / Accepting
As I feel / As you feel
As I sense / As you sense
As I know / As you know
I see / As you see
As I am / As you are

We all learn to be

Jun 27, 2014

Tribe Meeting Report

Dear Ed:

Prior to the meeting we got an e-mail from the leader of the tribe that he was moving out of the country and the tribe would continue without him.
I felt disappointment and a sense of loss and at the same time I saw the possibility of starting a Tribe in my area.

One of the members had to take his wife in for emergency care. When he called to find out how much it would cost - he was told that he could not get a quote.

This made him feel conflicted between the unknown cost vs taking care of his wife. He felt out of control against the system.

The first issue we worked on was a member who felt out of control in his relationship with his mother who was a devout Christian intent on spreading the gospel. She would break typical communication protocols and use manipulation to send literature and talk about religion.

When he told him mother that he was uncomfortable about her methods she would say she was spreading the Gods world and the only way to save the was through her religion.

The hot seat worked through this and had some aha's and then uncovered a much deeper issue that he had not thought about since the death of his brother. The hot seat at this point, wanted to review this in more detail over some time and felt satisfied with the process thus far and was no longer hot.

After our meal we worked with a member who had an issue leaving his town to go to school. As he got into his form, he got very emotional. He was unable to leave his family and go to another town. Through review of his life - his mother used to nag his father - until the father just left - then the mother would beg to have the father come back The father would then come back. The hot seat had a rock given to him by his father that he could never leave.

Soon after the process ended the Hotseat felt free an was able to consider moving and stated looking at options.

The meeting concluded with a speed judgement process - where was judged each other and debriefed on the feelings associated with judgements.

Jun 27, 2014

Puerto Rico Tribe

Dear Ed:

This is confirm that we voted to cancel [Austin Tribe] meeting #9 and do meeting #10 in Puerto Rico to celebrate your birthday.

At this time we have 4 people confirmed to be at meeting #10 and the remaining 2 people need to get permission.

Please let us know what you would like as your birthday present.

Jun 26, 2014

Moving to NYC

Hi Ed,

As I am closing on making a decision to which firm I end up next, I feel a sense of sadness. In my prior jobs in which I loved, I feel compassion and a strong sense of identity for the person I work for. For my favorite jobs, I form friendships and bonds with people prior to working for them.

In my current situation, I face decisions about a more traditional path. After going through Tribe and reading your book and writings, I have a new sense of identity in which I love.

I would like to work for somebody that shares a similar philosophy to you, or one that is in a circle of trust like we discuss. I reach out to you to ask if you know anybody in NYC who trades and whom you think follows a similar philosophy as a tribe member.

Even if they are not hiring, I feel confident I can convince them to hire me. I find it's harder to find the right type of person to associate yourself with than it is a job. I place trust in your network of people and you. That to me is harder to find than a job.

I humbly ask if you know of any such people in the area.

All the best,

Jun 26, 2014

Tribe Meeting Report

Ed,

5 members present including interstate members. Member 5 chairs the meeting, says he feels a bit nervous. We drum chaotically but enthusiastically. Perhaps we are getting too fancy. On check-in, we all feel enthusiasm. Member 1 has some health problems but his trading stays on track. Member 5 reports he trades well for a couple of weeks after tribe and then his trading deteriorates. Member 4 now has a written snapshot which he shows us, and reports good progress (eg he has written 4 songs) - this amazes me because I thought he was actively avoiding anything like pursuing his goals.

After exercises we state our issues. 3 members look particularly hot.

Hot seat 1.

I start with a rework of my last rocks process. As FAQ points out, I miss that my mother is the donor of my strategies of "you aren't feeling that; you shouldn't feel that; make up a story so you don't need to feel that". (June 9, 2014 Tribe Meeting Report - Stressors and Donors). During the week I reread the rocks process material.

I feel that a good starting point for evoking the grief about my grandmother would be the loss of my dog Cordelia (pic refers) who dies last week. It feels similar. With encouragement on the hot seat I reach a kind of peak but the PM does not freeze me. So I do another round. This time I am more upset and feelings of the tragic nature of our lives, the unfairness, we just have to put up with it, as well as intense sadness well up.

The PM freezes me and I recall again my grandmother's death and my mother's response. We replay an incident a few days later when my mother gets me to write a letter to my grandmother "in heaven".

She explains there is no need to feel sad, as my grandmother is not really dead, she just moved to heaven. Somehow I pick up that I am not supposed to notice that my mother also feels extremely sad and devastated.

Recently my mother tells me that I was upset after my grandmother's death but after I wrote the letter I was "better". We then discuss these rocks and I decide if I am happy with them. We decide I want new strategies to deal with grief, and I decide on "feel the feeling and process it" "be aware how the other people around you are feeling" and "live life in the real world and don't make up stories to make feelings go away".

We re-enact this and I accept the new rocks and review my many past experiences, where I use the old rock, and see that the new rock now works better.

That night I wake up about 3am with the thought I want to rewrite the letter to my grandmother. So the next morning i rewrite it in between sets during my workout, acknowledging how sad I feel, that I know (according to my beliefs) that she cannot read the letter because she is dead, that I miss her a lot, and recalling some happy memories with her.

Fortunately I have a home gym because I have a good cry also. Over the next few days I feel sad from time to time and I also start to recall more and more happy memories with my grandmother, and the time of her death loses its sinister, dark "horror-movie" feeling.

The frightening wild dogs from my nightmares at that time morph into cartoon foxes, and the darkness of those times seems to turn to sunlight. Also with my dog the sadness gradually evolves into missing her but also thinking and talking to my wife about our happy experiences and happy memories with her. I feel a dark cloud has gone from my life. I also comment to my wife that being able to experience your feelings, including grief, makes for a much more vibrant and intense life, with much less fear.

Hot seat 2.

Member 4 consistently shows as much or more willingness as a How Seat (HS) participant as anyone I have seen in 5 years. His issue: he displaces feelings of frustration into different aspects of his life. An argument with his girlfriend results in his making cutting comments to a colleague, or frustration about someone not listening to him morphs into bad trades.

Frustration with bad trades leads to overdoing it with his boxing sparring and making his students cower. He reports enjoying this feeling of taking power back. A constant, ongoing problem in his life. He has other issues but after discussion we untangle them and decide to focus on this one.

The hot seat reaches intensity quickly and the PM freezes the feeling and asks to ramp it up and think of an incident early on like this. His mother is in one of her frequent rages, and will not listen to his explanation and beats him until the rod breaks. HS becomes furious and punches a glass door, breaking it and causing his hand to bleed profusely. He uses the blood to write "FU-- YOU" on the wall. This is enough to cause his mother to stop beating him. He states that he met his mother's violence with violence of his own. We point out the obvious - that property damage and words are not quite matching violence with violence.

The HS's strategy is a little confusing. Eventually the HS concludes that his father donates the strategy of not facing up to a problem, but diverting the energy elsewhere. If your wife is cold and not affectionate, just get a girlfriend and lie about it.

This strategy is mostly avoidance as the father does not specifically divert the anger elsewhere, but HS feels that he builds on his father's strategy by diverting the energy in slightly different ways. Perhaps HS learned the strategy of responding to frustration with violence from his mother at another time.

We re-enact the old strategy in HS's words "to feel frustrated and powerless in one area of my life and to take it back in another area". We then reenact with the new rocks "to empathize, feel the feeling, and accept that situations can be frustrating (also from my recollection: also to take proactive steps to improve the situation where possible).".

HS feels happy with the result as we check out. Later he also reports good results in an e-mail to FAQ.

Hot seat 3

Member 4 reports a cycle of feeling intense loneliness which he medicates with alcohol (since mostly discontinued) or by picking up girls and/or forming relationships. Early in the relationship he unconvincingly tells the girl he wants to be "honest" and that he just wants something low-key, companionship and sex, but nothing serious and certainly not marriage. Over time the relationship becomes serious and HS gets invited to meet the parents, wedding magazines appear etc. HS does nothing to discourage this but suddenly he feels that "there may be someone better out there" and he decides that he needs to be "honest" with the girl and he tells them he doesn't want to get serious let alone get married.

He then dumps them. Soon, he gets lonely and leans on the girls for companionship and more. He says he knows he is using them. After the last breakup he starts to feel lonely the very next day. Asked how long did this take, he initially says 5+ hours, but then says maybe 1 1/2 hours, and that included breakfast and having a shower. So a day that could have been productive working on song-writing or working on trading systems becomes a quest to avoid loneliness in various unhelpful ways.

We run a hot seat. I am PM. The feelings get to a certain point but HS has trouble fully feeling the loneliness, keeps sliding away. In discussion we dispute what is the main issue to focus the hot seat on - the loneliness or the "fear of commitment". Perhaps they are both an issue but as he seemingly gets into the relationships to medicate the loneliness this seems primary to me. HS feels they are both an issue as he is worried he is replicating his father's repeated dramas around semi-staged breakups from HS's mother. We have another crack at it to no effect so I call it a day. I suggest that HS looks to some ways to ramp up and experience the feelings between now and the next tribe. Specifically

Loneliness
- No drinking to medicate loneliness, just limited social drinking
- No contact with past girlfriends. If they get in contact say he is busy on the project and will ring them back after it is done in ~2 weeks.
- No picking up girls
... and see how this feels.

Commitment
- Commit to X hours / day writing songs
- Commit to Y hours a day on trading systems
... and see how this feels.

HS likes this and commits to do this.

---

Our new Member 6 reports in on the morning of tribe that he "has a lot on" and is going to try the "Do It Myself" process. I respond that if he has the intention to deal with his problems he will find and way and will find the people to deal with them, and that if his intention is not to deal with them, he will find a way to not do that. Member 2 points out that this is a textbook example of the "running away" issue the member has. Member 6 responds that he will be at our Tribe meeting after next. These days if someone is not willing to do the Tribe process, I feel happy to let them do something else.

We are gradually building a strong practice of holding each other accountable and reporting progress to each other, which is very exciting.

It can take a while to build the confidence to do this, as it is so against the normal rules of polite society. Even saying things like "I notice your report is late - how is your trading going - are you still following your system?" or "You can print out and bring your goals along to the next tribe, if it is still your intention" is difficult.

Regards,

Cordelia R. I. P.

Jun 25, 2014

TT Essentials Cards

Ed,

Thank you for the TT cards and the blessings. The encouragement makes each day go better.

I'll be contacting the local group to see how I can help.

Sincerely,

Jun 25, 2014

Trading System / Diversification

Ed,

Good afternoon, at first sorry for my English ;-).

I use simple trading system based on price channel break. When price will cross for example last 100 day high then I always buy long. When price goes below last 20 days low then I close trade.

Risk is 2% of account and stop 2 ATR. It works well but I have some problems with diversification. I always open 1 trade with risk 2% of account on 10 non-correlated markets. This makes some problems with risk of account and profitability of my method = adding markets would rise probability of catch big move but it also decrease profit form the best markets.

I don't know how to match risk & efficiency. Should I look at many markets and focus on several with the best trends? If I do it my risk could be that I will lose some big moves on skipped markets. How measure which market is already the best.

Maybe solution is to trade always on the same markets and adding units to winning trades but how? Like Turtles did: 4 units (the same size) first after channel break and next one after 0,5 ATR. It is very mechanical. Maybe You have better idea to chose the best market and adding to winning trades?

I'll be very grateful for conversation. I read a lot about you and and I admire your achievements and living philosophy. Every advice form you will be very precious.

Greetings

Jun 2, 2014

Dreaming About Former Girlfriend

Hi Ed,

I want to share my experience with you. Recently I begin to talk to [former girlfriend]. I feel great before and I feel calm and powerful without being assertive at the office and in general. We trade emails and the first couple leave me to continue feeling great. We establish rapport. I feel she hears me and I hear her.

However once I share my deeper self with all my insecurities and how I don't feel normal. She starts to tell me how it is. I feel she stand on a pedestal talking down to me. Telling me what is normal and what I should do. I feel she doesn't hear me and judge what I say. I begin to feel like I make a mistake by opening up to her. She tells me don be scared and don't throw your life and happiness away. Do this to combat your fear, you should treat me better, etc.

I feel so much anger that I keep inside. This anger takes energy away from me. I fall asleep last night and had a dream about her.

I walk on a sidewalk and I see 3 or 4 of my friends from different parts of my life. They do not know each other and stand alone near each other. I stand equidistant from each of them and we begin to converge. The mood lightens. I see another group of friends and I ask for a cigarette. The new group brings yet another set of my friends who have quality cigarettes. I smoke the cigarette. I feel happy to be amongst old friends.

I can let my guard down and not be so cerebral. I watch a roaster oven (one of the ovens that can rotate chicken and stuff) and I drool on my friends shoulder. I apologize to him and I laugh. He doesn't seem happy. I offer him my shirt that I have close by. He declines saying that its too ragged. I make eye contact with a girl in the group.

Suddenly, [she] walks past the group. She walks topless with her chin up. She looks good. Her skin shines. I become jealous. I think she is mad at me for some unknown reason. I feel angry that she gathers so much attention and I feel that she tries to get back at me for my unknown discretions.

I feel she gathers attention and she should save those titties for me (now as i write this I can see my hypocrisy with the "should", and the judging).

I want to talk to her and she keeps walking away. I want to ask her why she is doing this. She begins to run and I start to chase her. I see people walk by and wonder what they think of me. Now she has a running top on.

I continue to chase her and she evades me. I throw a water bottle at her to slow her down. The water bottle hits her ankle. Her ankle breaks of from her leg as if it was hit by a grenade. I feel scared and guilty. "I didn't mean for this to happen" The scene is very gruesome. I say to my self, "holy sh-- i cant believe this happened. I must be dreaming." Then I wake up, my heart beating fast and with the emotion still with me.

When I wake up I feel irritated and angry at [her]. Why is she flaunting her goods to everyone? Why does she make me feel this way? I think that she consciously tries to get a reaction from me and I hold her responsible for it.

I wake up with this dread feeling. And it wont go away. I wake up groggy and in a bad mood. I respond to some of her emails. At first I try to respond nicely. But this feeling consumes me I don't want to get up to go to work. I think it was a mistake to start sharing this stuff with her.

Then I write a couple more emails to her sarcastically thanking her for each of her indiscretions (that I judge to be indiscretions). Then the feeling goes away. As i write this i begin to see this as medicinal. When I have this feeling, I try to consciously do something else but it seems I cannot do it by conscious choice.

Afterwards, I think maybe the water bottle in my dream stands for my emails in real life. As i reread this email, I think that maybe my feelings in paragraph one is how my dream [she]i feels as I judge her actions.

Speaking of jealousy in part two, I remember a FAQ on June 20, 2014 title "Insecurity". You say we can "proactively deal with the underlying issue, which may have to do with bringing risk in balance with assets." I think my jealousy comes from my insecurity and that [She] is too risky for my assets. I may have to let her go. As I write those words I feel a sense of relief.

Don't know where to go from here.

Thanks for listening Ed. I appreciate you taking your time to read this. I feel a burden on my shoulder. This might have to do with repaying you for sharing your wisdom.

Jun 24, 2014

Seeking His Perfect Place

Hi Ed,

Overall, life is good and I hope this E-mail find you dandy!

Family and equity (new high yesterday) is going in right direction.

I still wonder, what is my unique talent / gift that I can polish and excel to achieve results like Edison, Steve Jobs and Muhammad Ali. I also have same intention for my two sons, age 15 and 12.

Sincerely

We had a fantastic tribe meeting last night with three hot seats. Another member is sending mail about it but I feel compelled to write to you as well.

I have been feeling intense frustration in many areas of my life. Frustration with testing a new automated trading system, frustration with coming out of a drawdown period only to enter it again, frustration with my girlfriend who is depressed about failing a medical school exam. Frustration with making trading mistakes. Frustration with the programmer who works on my automated systems. I have been acting out on my frustration by arguing with beginning traders at a trading blog I co author, which (no surprise) just makes me more frustrated. I have also been acting out on my frustration by using food to fix my feelings. I have been hyper sensitive to frustration and I "lost it" completely when I could not find my phone this week.

At tribe the other members tease out that I have always been frustrated with my Mother's inability to change her mind. I remember her on many occasions sitting with a snarky smile on her face just completely oblivious to whatever facts are present during an argument.

I particularly remember one episode from my childhood when my mother refused to believe that I'd spent the day fishing when I came home from the river, smelling of fish carrying a fishing rod and bucket. I could not convince her that I was telling the truth, and this feeling of frustration carries on to the present day. My mother is trustee of an investment trust holding some of my assets and whenever I get her to sign an auditors report she implies or assumes that there is somehow wrong doing or fraud involved.

Tribe members tease out that I have a strategy of feeling powerless in one area of my life and taking it back in another area. I am an (8 years clean in a 12 step fellowship) recovering drug addict and avoiding this feeling was the driving force behind my addiction to crystal meth. We remember a time when I was a child when I was being struck by my Mother with a stick until the stick broke on me. I felt the same frustration then, and wanted to hit her back, but instead I turned around and punched through a glass framed painting, injuring myself. I remember liking this strategy, liking the shock it brought, and writing on the wall of our family home in large letters in blood.

I go into forms and feel the frustration, while members encourage. We complete a rocks process, with me rejecting the strategy of gaining back my power in another area, and choosing the rock where I a) feel my feelings b) feel empathy for the other person involved c) accept than some situations are frustrating.

The next morning I get up early to catch the plane back to my hometown. I leave my kindle behind at the hotel. Ordinarily this would frustrate me a great deal, but it doesn't seem to have any effect. I have to make 5 calls to the hotel to get them to go look and find it, and they refuse to send it on to me. Ordinarily I would be furious but I can't seem to summon the energy. Other frustrating things happen that day. Historically I trade very well in the few days after a tribe meeting. The first trade I take is a mistake, an entry just before an entry signal, a clear mistake.

Trading is extremely important in my life and this would ordinarily upset me. I update my trading log, take screen captures of the losing trade and prepare to take other trades. I take two more trades according to my rules. One break even minus slippage trade, and one loser (which was a technically correct trade). I am down 2.2R for the day, when I had an expectation of having a good day. Both trades looked promising until an announcement whipsawed the market. I am fatigued, it has been a long day. I feel different than usual drawdown days, like I had a good day. I read the trading blog I co-author and don't make any patronizing or disparaging comments.

The next morning I have an aha moment. While walking to breakfast I realize I actually ENJOY the feeling of frustration, and try to summon it up so I can enjoy it some more. When I do my morning meditation before trading I notice I am not feeling like "revenge trading" nor am I overconfident. I nearly take one trade, place the stop order to get short on a breakout, then realize that it was a marginal trade and cancel it. I am sitting in my chair actively encouraging myself to feel frustrated and smiling because I like the feeling so much!

At a deep level I feel I have had a breakthrough, and I am extremely grateful for the opportunity to be involved in Tribe.

Best regards

Jun 24, 2014

From Control to Intimacy -
Teaching by Example

Dear Ed,

for about a year now I am in a relationship. From my girlfriend I am learning a lot about how intimate communication works.

She mentions that she fully accepts her feelings and uses them as guiding tool. She openly shares her feelings, asks me about my feelings and needs, is interested in a growing relationship. She has an excellent relationship with my children. By watching her interaction with others I see how much I still have to learn about intimacy. I remember the relationship with my wife and the sensation that for her it is preferable to win and not give up her position instead of finding the best alternative for all participants.

I am worried when I see how my children (who live with my ex wife) interact with each other, using pressure, irony, sarcasm, threats and even physical violence to impose their views. It is not the way I want to interact with people. I try to teach by example and not to lecture.

Some weeks ago, my older son says "Dad, I prefer the way you interact with people. I don´t think that the other way works".

I remember during the Reno workshop a comment by Charles Faulkner along the line of "If you don´t change, you marry the same woman again and again".

My girlfriend is, yes, radically different from my ex wife in most aspects. Maybe I have changed and now I can create and accept intimacy. I learn that sharing and accepting feelings can be a natural way of living, not forced, not teached, just learned by example. Again and again I surprise myself using control centric methods. I try to evolve. Thank you for being there during my journey.

Sincerely yours,

Jun 24, 2014

Support

Dear Ed,

I support you in your quest for an appropriate body weight, a more suitable financial location, beautiful surroundings and significant relationships.

Desde el corazón,

Jun 23, 2014

Tropical Storms

Ed,

As Gulf Coast resident, I keep this chart of Atlantic storms & hurricanes in mind when I make my fall work/shop/play plans.

In my experience, Sept. 10th +/- two weeks is the peak of "big storm" activity when plans are most likely to be brushed aside by Mother Nature.

http://www.nhc.noaa.gov/climo/

Jun 21, 2014

Mental Illness: View From the Inside

Ed,

You might like this clip.

"Is it okay if I totally trash your office?" It's a question Elyn Saks once asked her doctor, and it wasn't a joke. A legal scholar, in 2007 Saks came forward with her own story of schizophrenia, controlled by drugs and therapy but ever-present. In this powerful talk, she asks us to see people with mental illness clearly, honestly and compassionately.

http://www.amazon.com/Center-Cannot-Hold-Elyn-Saks-ebook/dp/B000WHVRZS/ref=sr_1_1?ie=
UTF8&qid=1403408276&sr=8-1&keywords=the+center+cannot+hold

Jun 21, 2014

Future Thinking

Ed,

With your knowledge and experience of computing power, you will get a kick out of this remarkable book:

http://www.amazon.com/Abundance-Future-Better-Than-Think/dp/1451614217/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=
UTF8&qid=1403388802&sr=1-1&keywords=abundance

Diamandis has MIT degrees in molecular genetics and aerospace engineering, as well as an MD from Harvard.

I went to a conference that he chaired last week. Speakers brought his 2012 book up to the present to some extent. I'll e-mail you my notes from his introduction plus the first three speakers. These were on AI as applied to financial markets and people. Don't miss Nadler and his examples at the end!

With best wishes,

Jun 21, 2014

Austin Tribe Meeting - Getting Some Strokes

Ed,

A Tribe Member takes the hot seat. When he attends family events there is always a family prayer. He doesn't agree with the prayer and feels forced to participate. He feels angry about it. He can't find a way of excusing himself without making a scene. He agrees to share feelings with his brother and family members about this issue. I can relate because I find myself in social situations where I feel uncomfortable but continue to participate.

I take the hot seat trying to find a better way to connect with friends. I have an interest in a waitress friend of mine. I am provided with the resource of listening with steady eye contact. I role-play with a Tribe Member asking how things are going and she relates a story about her sister's drug habit. I listened and maintain eye contact. At first I acknowledge and say her story is sad. I am given the resource of "not judging." I listen without comment and when she is finished I gently acknowledge and thank her for sharing her story.

The next time I see her I ask her what is going on and she relates a happy story about taking her children to a water park. She tells me about her youngest son who is scared of going on the larger rides and stays in the kid's pool.

I listen, maintain eye contact and don't offer any judgment. After her story I thank her for telling me. Later she puts her hand on my shoulder and strokes my arm.

After awhile, she tells me that she wants me to take an on-line survey about the restaurant. She says she is in a competition with the other waitresses to see how many surveys they can do. I do the survey and in the comment section I make positive comments about her.

The next Tribe Member who takes the hot seat is having difficulty connecting with his wife. He tries to teach her TTP but she is resistant. He starts yelling and pointing his finger at her. He tells her she isn't doing it right. The situation escalates and ends in an argument. During a role-play with a Tribe Member, he tries to connect by listening and maintaining eye contact. The hot seat says TTP may not be the right thing now and will listen more. I realize in my own life that sometimes I force TTP on others. I soon realize that Trading Tribe is about sharing my feelings and listening. Both of which I can do a better job. When I practice TTP it changes me and sometimes changes those around me.

Another Tribe Member takes the hot seat because he is trying to get enough space in his multi-car garage to park his car in. His wife has filled it up with refrigerators, food, and boxes of family photos. He does a role-play with a Tribe Member playing his wife. He switches roles and plays his wife while the Tribe Member plays himself. This switch allows the hot seat to understand things from his wife's perspective. The roles are reversed back and he plays himself again. I think this was a valuable process to get a feeling of what it is like to be in some else's shoes. Sometimes when I talk to friends and other people I revert to old forms and express my feelings and thoughts. I leave out the other person. When I listen without offering judgment and allowing that person to talk I feel closer to them. I have a better understanding of what they are about.

The final process involves a Tribe Member who feels under pressure to make a decision about moving to a place off shore to take advantage of the favorable tax laws. He must move there in two weeks to establish his residence in order to take advantage of the lower taxes. While at the same time he is trying to hire a personal assistant to help him take care of his business deals and personal business. He feels overwhelmed and can't make a decision on which task to concentrate on.

He gets into forms and remembers a time when he was very young. His father forces him to eat an oyster. When his father offers him the oyster he goes along and swallows it because he fears his fathers anger and possible physical abuse. It tastes disgusting to him and later he throws it up. I play his father in a role-play segment. We role-play this incident as it actually occurs and he also receives the rock of "going along" from his mother. Then the Tribe Member later gives back the "going along" rock to his mother and accepts the Heart rock of sharing feelings.

We re-enact the scene but this time the hot seat shares his feelings. I feel playing his father that the father's feelings change and he relents on his demand. The hot seat realizes he must take care of hiring his assistant first because it is an important relationship. He wants to make sure he can trust this person.

If this person isn't honest then it could cost him a lot of money. I can relate because I am always suspicious of others and their motives but I still invite them into my life anyway and get hurt. I learn a lot from this process on how to concentrate on that aspect of my life.

Dealing With Mental Illness

Ed,

I find this TED Talk inspirational.

http://www.ted.com/talks/elyn_saks_
seeing_mental_illness

Jun 21, 2014

Jademaster

Dear Sir,

I came in today, bright eyed and bushy tailed, thinking that it was nice to be at your place out of the cold.

Time always passes so quickly when I am at Casa Ed, before I knew it the day had passed and I was sitting at your feet by the fireplace, my hands were sore for I had scrubbed the floor today and as always I had a stone in my hand, open tonight not clutched as was customary and you where talking about something, the topic tonight was risk control, Texan style.

The stone felt strangely familiar, and I looked down, in the firelight it had a deep green glow, I looked up at you stupefied, tears rolling down my cheeks, you saw the green glow in my eyes and smiled.

Thank you sir, of the people I love, thinking of you makes a warm glow in my heart!