Breathwork feels like it happened years ago. I was amazed to see the 6 month check in pop up on my calendar.

My life has been progressing on a steady pace. Pretty much anything I consistently want I get by chipping away at it over time, learning from mistakes and not giving up.

As the desires for money, good relationship, happy family get fulfilled my list of desires has dwindled.

Sometimes I get a idea that I want something and I begin to work at and begin to achieve it only to find out I really don't want it.

The one desire that has been consistent for years is self improvement.

I've made progress on this goal, but still feel like I have a long ways to go. Maybe this desire doesn't have a destination only a process.

Thank you for helping me through some obstacles along the way, I enjoyed our time together.

Warm regards

Since the workshop, I reunite back with [Name]. I help her move into her new apt. I don't kno w how long I will stay here.

As I state in my previous email. I feel more relaxed after workshop. My urge to compulsively exercise has left.

Today I feel very calm.

Thanks for listening,

- - - - -

I wonder how the other tribe members do.

In the week that passes since my completion of your Workshop, I notice a greater sense of peace and acceptance of myself and of others.

I notice especially in my interaction with others that I feel more attuned to receiving whatever they send. I seem able to respond in a manner that flows back to them.

I can feel my usual tendency to give advice or offer help when it comes up as an impulse, and I notice that it no longer feels like the "natural" response to me, In fact it even feels sort of violent, in a way, like I want to impose myself on the person rather than receiving them.

I also notice that I judge myself less harshly when I do these things.

3.5-4 months ago I write about my frustration about not having finished programming my trading software.

Now I can announce that I finally finished.

As I started last week my trading system didn't generate any trading signals.

I know that I have to be patient to wait for good trading opportunities. (Not) Trading can be boring but it is part of the game. I am happy that I finally made it.

Thanks for extraordinary weekend in the workshop in Puerto Rico. and for your tireless dedication to each of the participants, I have a much clearer vision of the TTP process.

Today I'm living positive results by simply applying concepts (intimacy centric / Control-centric), it's amazing how simple it is and the results that I get.

Your explanation of the "PAST - NOW - FUTURE" is masterful.

The experiences of each of the participants are very helpful to understand the concepts of the workshop.

Now I'm working on my personal project, and I'm making progress.

Thanks for all your support

Puerto Rico Workshop - 1 week follow-up

I continue to process the emotional echoes from the workshop. While at the workshop, I gained valuable insights into my own processes from experiencing alongside others in the "hot seat."

Most specifically, I feel thankful for awareness of a drama in my past - where I respond to emotional pain by running away - this had previously manifested itself in relationships as well as trading. I realize this behavior was learned from my parents as i watched my parents' dramas unfold.

I thank myself for protecting myself in this fashion and realize this is no longer serving me well. I return this behavior to source. No longer running, my trading feels relaxed as I realize I am here to stay.

​Ed,

I had a great time at the TTP workshop – thank you for putting it on.

I'd like to clarify the "Count to Ten" Method for "stopping my stopping" that I referred to in a previous post:

My workshop problem to resolve is: stop stopping during system development.

I take the hotseat and we talk things over with the ad hoc Tribe that we've formed.

You ask me to count to 10. I reply "One, Two, Three... Ten" and easily count to ten.

And you reply along the lines of: "Develop your systems just like you count to 10: One step after another. No stopping. No drama. Just take the next step."

It's simply effective. I use "Count to 10" again Friday when I'm helping out with a complex non-investment task that I've been asked to do while we are short-handed at work. I'm rusty and I have to ask for help (which I'm often reluctant to do). I simply do so, get the answer and go to the next step. No drama. Two of five complex tasks are updated. This feels good going into the weekend.

***********

Some Key Workshop Takeaways for me. Any errors are mine. Some repetition / restating. Ed: feel free to correct, amplify, etc. as you see fit.

Trading is about your relationship with your whipsaws. Most people will only follow their system when it's making money and they feel good. It's about the process. Stick to your system to get its long-term results.

Restated: Most everybody can follow their system when it's making money and they feel good. But no system works all the time. If you can handle the whipsaws, then you can trade successfully and achieve your system's long-term expectancy.

Systems development should include market selection and must take into account the "no dead companies/futures" bias that's a part of most databases. Enron went bankrupt and Pork Bellies no longer trade.

Every system's rules don't work some of the time. This is also true in relationships. If you can accept being hurt sometimes, then you'll be fine.

Pyramiding on a new signal with a new stop may work for you. Test it to see.

You have to risk enough to make meaningful money while also holding on through your worst drawdowns. Example: If 3% risk per trade makes you great money but also leads to a crushing -40% drawdown that forces you to throw in the towel then that's too much risk for you. You determine that tradeoff with your testing.

Come to terms with the whipsaws and the rest is easy. How many in a row can you take. How many in a row does you system generate in backtests? Are you OK with that?

The Hi-Lo Risk/Reward X-Y grid is where you start system development. Where are you? Where do you want to be? What kind of risk will you accept? If you seek extremely low risk and you want high rewards, can you develop a system that does that?

Receive people as they are. Don't try to "fix" them or change them. How they live their life is their process. If they ask about "how you've changed" or about TTP share with them but don't force it on them. It's their process.

When I can simply accept you with the intimacy model, even if you are harshly rejecting me, then you no longer can control me with acceptance/rejection/flattery/drama.

The control model has struggle & drama in it. They are not the issue. They are medicinal behavior covering up what you won't feel.

The control-centric model generates medicinal drama. The intimacy-centric model generates results.

Solving problems/conflicts is medicinal behavior and increases the problems/conflicts. (Ed — I wrote this down but I don't understand this ** Plz amplify if you can **)

Many problems come from the lack of a driving dream. What do you want? If you really want it then you won't have time for the dramas and they'll just slip away.

I take the Hotseat and claim to be angry but can't manifest it. I have a pain in the neck and we explore it. It feels like a hot piece of rebar in my upper left back. Ed tries to develop it's characteristics but not much comes out. We ask if it would like to communicate with us. No reply. We move on to the next Hotseat.

I continue to stretch and communicate with the pain. I ask if it will communicate with me. "Yes. Haha–I made you fail in the Hotseat again. Sabotaging you is my job". At some level, I don't want to succeed.

​Thanks, again.​

I notice many changes in my views and the kinds of experiences I am having.

My father visits from overseas.

I see him clearly. I feel anxious and notice that I'm distracted, less in the now.

Feeling the anxiety and fog helps me to know that I am avoiding intimacy, I come back to now quickly and accept how I feel​.

I am able to listen to my father and be around him not really being with me and thank him for his opinions, advice. I even thank him for his criticism, worries and observations of imperfection.

I notice he is not good at intimacy and finds ways to avoid intimacy like checking price charts, looking at his phone or pacing, being pre-occupied with anything he finds.

I realize I am calm. I realize I am not pacing, checking prices or my phone.

It is a new way to be around my dad.

As I accept him I see the positive intensions of his way of being. I am able to recognize that I judge his way of being and I accept my judging.

Suddenly I am even more at ease and no longer feel any sadness associated with my judgement of his judgements. I notice it in my face, it feels as though my brow is lifting.

I have nothing to prove and feel good about my family and my life as I create it.

I spend the day with him and then relax at home with my kids and my wife.​

I reflect on the workshop and the people I meet there. There is a continuation of the calm feeling in my chest. I feel and sense that I deeply admire, love and respect these people. Thinking about them feels the same as thinking of early childhood friends and first friendships.

There are no expectations, threats or promises. There is a sense of fluid solidity, being present and attentive with gratitude.

It resonates in my chest and into my legs.

I reflect on right livelihood and ​can see the changes in my thoughts, the associations I make, the opportunities I notice and the events that unfold after I return from the workshop.

A few things stand out in my mind:

My wife thanks me every day for spending time with her and not needing to be pre-occupied with other tasks. My children hug me and smile with me. My development clients no longer antagonize me, I am able to communicate clearly and it is easy. I have willingness to communicate.

My trading is effortless throughout the day - I am able to stay in a flow state for hours and go with whatever is happening. I have my best trading days and best trading experiences every day that I trade this week. Today is a "losing" day ​and it is also one of my best days. I am relaxed about the outcome, the loss is a series of whipsaw trades and indicates that an opportunity is building.

I notice that whipsaw trades and the associated feelings are like judges - sometimes they are stacked and when one goes, they all go... I feel my smile and feel my cheeks are tight because I'm still smiling. I feel confident that I traded well.

I feel I am in balance - like riding a bike. There is a center of gravity that can sway adding feedback in the direction of travel. It's an effortless feeling of just going with it - my wife, my kids, my dad, my clients, my trading, my thoughts even my body all seem to be in agreement as I scan for feelings to report to FAQ. ​

I notice that I am no longer taking Adderall and have no desire to medicate the feeling of wanting to do something right now.

I quit taking adder all after 5 years of daily use as a mood stabilizer leading up to the the workshop in order to feel what is actually there preferring to work with my unadulterated feelings rather than a masked or (blunted/amplified) affected version of my feelings.

I am present at the workshop and now and enjoy the variability of mood and sensation that accompanies the absence of the drug, the k-nots and judges.

I'm OK with being me. I like it. The people I love and that love me like it too.

I find myself writing to Ed, sharing various ideas and information that I think relate to what he teaches me and that I hope he may enjoy.

I have the idea (rises in chest like as intuition) that I serve Ed in return for the service and gift he has given me and that it is in a format that is surprising ​to both of us.

I feel a sense of gratitude and friendship towards Ed for facilitating such a formidable change in my way of being and for introducing the workshop participants to each other.

I feel a tickle and giggle knowing I receive far, far more than even one hundred trillion trillion dollars worth of growth and satisfaction from my commitment to be part of the workshop.

I feel my position orbiting gently near top left on the axises of risk/profitability and importance/urgency.

Ed, thank you.

We run two process in this meeting on Oct 3rd in ELV (Yorba Linda) tribe. We have 4 members in the meeting, including one pollinator. We also have a new member join us.

Before the meeting, I share with the pollinator my experience with the Tribe. I share with him how we do the Rocks process here. We often repeat an episode again and again and let the hot seat client do experiments in the role play, by changing how he responds to feelings and see how things turn out differently. Sometimes a clients reaches a point and figures out where, when to share the feelings, as soon as a slight feeling just shows up, and the drama even doesn't start.

I share with the pollinator that I find the process management can go nearly invisible by letting the client direct his own show and reconstruct his experience. And the PM's only job is to make sure client is on track of focusing on connecting feelings during intensive drama, instead of being hooked in by situations.

I also share with the pollinator that to better benefit myself in the meetings, sometimes I break down my own process and spread it into different meetings. I may pick up some early incidents in one meeting while I am managing or participating others' process, I note it and I may not have chance in this meeting to work on myself, and maybe next meeting, I do a role play to re-live that drama and reshape it with intimacy centric method.

We start drumming at 7:00 and check in feelings and update progress. Then we report issues to work on.

One member experiences difficulty in social life. In quite a few occasions, people tell him that he make an odd angry face. He is unaware when it happens, but he knows about it after.

He also says he has an issue with a lady, who likes to leave him right after turning him on.

The lady tells him that sometimes he has an odd angry, serious face. The client tells the Tribe that he likes the lady. And many times the lady would start talking to him, get him excited and then leave. So after few times, he starts to do his face and say good bye before the flirting woman tries to leave. He wants to be the person who rejects, who say bye first. He feels like a man quitting the job when he knows he is going to get fired.

Client thinks he has anger issue. Tribe tries to irritate him to show that face by telling him that face never exists. And I tell him he doesn't have that problem and we want to move to the next member's process. This might trigger some feeling for another Tribe member catches he has some facial expression. So we come back to him and receive his forms. We ask him to make the face as hard as possible and the member really gets into it. His face turns red and he closes his eyes, twists his facial muscles and presses his lips. Tribe cheers him up to keep on it. After I freeze him, he says he sees his mom's face. He sees his mom is doing the same face, when he was young boy. She use it to warn him and his brother when she wants them to behave.

We see that his mom is the rock donor of the angry face. But he can't remember who is the aggressor and what's the situation when his mom show the angry face. He also says that in a recent party, a man tells him that he has the face and calls him bodyguard. And after he comes out bathroom, that man says it again to him, " Body guard with a serious face"

I decide we can run a rock fore-giving and we can role play the lady situation to train him with intimacy relating method to see whether he can pick up a new tool for the situation. After pizza break. When we are about to start, I feel unhappy about the missing module in this process, i.e, the feeling. So I ask him how he feels when the man calls him bodyguard. The client says he feel uncomfortable when people in the house start to pay attention to him. We start to get him back into forms again, to explore feeling of being center of he attention. He feels embarrassment.

So we get him into forms again. When I freeze him, he feels heat on his face. I ask him what he recalls. He says no. Then I ask him when in his childhood he feels embarrassment being the center of attention. He recalls in the high school. He concerns that high school event might not be early or deep enough. I then ask him to try to recall earlier, but he can't. From my experience, I tell him high school incidents counts. He then tell us what happens. When he is in high school, many of the classmate call him a nickname he really doesn't like. and they chant his nickname. He shuts down.

The client realize that his issue is afraid of being center of attention, or under the spotlight. And the angry face is secondary, or a decoy issue to hide the deeper fear. And he wants to role play the situation in high school. So three of us play the teasing classmates. The client tells us how the students chant his name. We all start call his nickname, again and again. We point to him and chant. We notice him shutdown and tries to smile.

We decide his mom is the rock donor of shutting down and making faces (smile and angry faces to cover the feelings). One member plays the mom and donate the rock to him. Then we role play again. The client identifies himself with the shutdown rock.

Then I ask him if he is willing to change, foregive the medicinal rock, or he wants to stay where he is. He says he wants to change. And he gives back the rock to the mom. The mom tries to resists and give him back. The clients insists.

I then deliver the heart rock to him, telling him it comes with 24/7 technical support. I tell him what you tell me in Austin tribe, that whenever he feels embarrassment, make sure his first response is to shift his attention from situation to the feelings, the feelings of others and himself, and share feeling proactively. Stay focus on the feeling and don't fall back to situation.

So he wants to try the situation again with the new tool. When other kids start to call his nick name, he walk up and talk to the kids. I follow him as tech support and make sure he is on track. He looks in the eyes of the other kids, ask how he feels when calling his nick name. The kid says he feels funny. The client thanks him for sharing his feelings. The client tells the kid that he feels sad about it. and asks the kid how he feels about his feeling sad. The kid says he doesn't expect him to feel sad. he thought it's just a joke, and doesn't intend to make him sad. They share feeling and create rapport.

Then we role play the body guard situation. I play the man in the party who call him "Body guard". I call him once, and after he comes back from bathroom, I call him again, "Hey, bodyguard with serious face!". He comes to me and tell me that he feel embarrassed, unhappy and he doesn't like people call him bodyguard. He then ask me how I feel, I tell him I feel I am caught doing wrong, I feel embarrassed too. I am just joking. He thank me for tell him how I feel.

Then another member plays the man. When the client asks him how he feels calling the bodyguard, the member says he feels bodyguard is a nice word, because the client is big and strong. He is trying to give compliment to the client.

The the 3rd member plays the man. When the client asks how he feels, he tells the client that he is scared when the big client comes to him. He feels he doesn't want to mess up with the client.

Then we role play the situation with the lady who attracts the client. I am the first to play the flirting lady. I ask the client to design the show. He then outline the scripts. He comes to talk to the lady. the lady tells him that she just came back from the camping. She tells him it was beautiful on the lake in the mountains. Just after turning him on, the lady starts to turn around and leave.

Before the lady seeing good bye, he gives the lady the grumpy face and says goodbye quickly. After few times rehearsals, the client tells me that I start to act like how the lady does.

So he starts to try intimacy centric methods. When I just about to leave, he tells me that he feels he want me to stay and talk more. He tells me that he wants to know me more. I feel nervous and a little scared. He asks me how I feel about knowing me more. I tell him I feel nervous, I tell him he is acting different than he usually does. We repeat this another time and the client starts to perform well.

Somehow I feel he might be able to get more from the process and I ask him if he wants to try it again with different approach, by push the process even further. I want him to figure it out himself by juggling the role plays. Before he agrees, another member tells him that he might want to start share feeling with the lady even before the lady wants to leave. I feel shocked by how the member figure out what I am thinking and start to laugh, I tell the member, "you spoiled my fun!". But indeed I am impressed by the new member's ability to pick up the essence of the process. It is how group wisdom works in the Tribe setting. I ask the member to play the lady and he agrees.

Then when the lady tells the client her experience in the camping, the clients asks her how she feels about the camping. She starts to tell him that she feels excited, relaxed and tired after the camping. Then the client asks her how she feels about having a cup of coffee together. She agrees. This time, she never gets a chance to want to leave.

Then a 3rd member plays the lady and the client works with her. When the client asks how she feels, the lady says she feels warm, she wants to leave for the room is too warm. The client asks whether she wants to go to a cooler place with him, a bar or a cafe, she says yes.

Then we check out and release roles. It's an intensive process and I thank the member for bringing this to the tribe and benefits all of us.

- - - - -

Another member has issue to face sadness. In his work or trading, when he encounters some failure or frustration, he often says to himself, "it's just bad luck". He doesn't like this attitude and wonders why he always do so. The pollinator volunteers to be his process manager and asks him how he feels when feeling bad luck. The client gets in to forms. The process manager encourages him getting deeper into feelings. The Tribe provides relentless validations.

Then the process manager freezes the client's forms and ask him what he recalls in his childhood, when he has exactly the same feelings. The client recalls when he was little boy, he is sad for some reason and his mother tell him it's all bad luck and she will take care of him.

We role play this situation, I play the mom, the rock donor. When comes to the rock fore-giving, the PM asks me to be tough to the client. The client tells me that he doesn't want this rock any more, and he wants to be himself. I tell him that there's no other way, and he will get into the trouble if he doesn't listen to the parents. The client tells me that the medicinal rock doesn't work. I see the opportunity to get him and ask him why it doesn't work. The client pause. I tell him that I don't take it back unless him tell me why it doesn't work for him. The client seems to get it and and asks me how I feel, instead of answering why questions. I tell the son I love him and I want to help. He thanks me for sharing feelings. He then tell me that he is want to have his own way of dealing with sadness. Later I take back the rock, and tell him I keep it for him in case he needs it back. He thanks me for caring.

The PM asks the client if he wants to play other situations and the client says he now can accept the sadness. He release me from the role and we start to check out. He lost his parents a year ago and now is closing the process on mourning his parents and ready to move on.

During the check out, I share with the client that I feel happy for the client's progress and thank him for bringing his issue to the tribe, and the process benefits all of us.

My parents are over 80 now and recently I start to feel sadness more often. I use to take it granted that my parents seem to be around forever. And I recently start to see them getting really old. I realize I am not able to have them that many more years. I feel sad. and start to feel I want to cherish every moment with them.

Then we check out the entire meeting. I thank the pollinator for visiting us and thank him for managing the process. I also thank the members who volunteers on the hot seat. I thank the new member for joining us and share my feelings of wanting to work with him on the issue he might have.

We conclude the meeting after midnight.

The next morning, the pollinator and I have a hike around East Lake. We both feel our minds are still processing the meeting last night. In this meeting, we navigate step by step by exploring feelings and responses. We don't know how far we can go and just stay with the trend. We move forward until all necessary pieces present themselves and form a system. Then we start to run this system and juggling with parameters and see the output. It's the social dynamics lab where we work. The pollinator talks about his recent study of system dynamics. We then even try to model last night meeting with stocks and flows.

It is a great meeting and I thank the pollinator again for his visit. I share with the the member that the process is so beautiful, and I have so many long term, close friends, relatives, and I feel weird none of them is interested. I feel it's easier to find a million dollar than finding a real committing fellow tribe member.

Thank you,

I recall your description of Breathwork from the workshop. I have a technology that I use to affect the way my brain operates that I am sharing with you here:

http://tdcsplacements.com/

I am not the author of the site linked above. I like the site linked above - it shows placements clearly and links to clinical research about the TDCS methods and process used.

I use several placements and see empirical evidence that TDCS with the following placements alter my EEG result as I monitor meditation and trading sessions immediately following 11 min TDCS sessions.

Placement that I use:
Accelerated learning - As documented by DARPA (Anode F10, Cathode left shoulder)
"Insightfulness" - Chi & Snyder (2011) (Cathode T3, Anode T4)

Thank you for "Count to Ten" Method for stopping my stopping. I use it today when the usual barrage of end-of-quarter "requests for obscure numbers" start to arrive.

Last night I see this relevant quote at forbes.com:

"The opportunities ahead of you are usually much larger than you initially anticipated, but the level of effort you have to put in to realize those is always much bigger than originally expected. So be persistent, patient, and do not stop in the middle of the road." --Arkadiy Dobkin, CEO, EPAM Systems

I wonder how you do in PR.

I would like to update the Tribe on how I do.

Today I feel such great joy. I find that i relax more and the urge to compulsively exercise goes away. I find that I talk to people around me in a calmer tone instead of talking as if I'm on meth. I eat junk foods more recently and i like it. I keep it in moderation. I dont react to what people say so easily anymore. I feel less wound up. Overall I feel much calmer. With this my outlook in life seems to get much brighter.

Thanks for listening,

Short: S&P, Cocoa, Crude, Gold, Wheat, Beans, Sugar
Long: $ Index, 10 Yr.

Regards

In the last tribe meeting we discussed keeping agreements.

Recently I had a transaction where I was the middle man between several parties. I discovered that one party had documents that appeared to be either fraudulent or created in error. Initially I gave the party the benefit of the doubt but as I worked with them further - I could see more areas where they were being dishonest.

Still, I went along with the situation advising them how they could correct their documents. However, even when they made corrections, I could see that they were hiding vital information. I stood to make a profit so I went along with it but I started feeling uncomfortable.

Then another party in the transaction starting criticizing me saying that I was incompetent and I was delaying the transaction. I felt angry because I was working hard on correcting the documents.

A few days went by. The other party criticized me again saying that a competitor could do this better and that I should be fired. I promptly fired myself and exit the transaction as gracefully as I could.

Immediately I felt better as I knew this was the right thing to do. I was surprised why I did not exit during the first indication of fraud. I resolved to honor my agreements with all parties that I am transacting with and not transact if any party in the transaction is dishonest.

Oct 14, 2014

Feelings as an Art Form

Ed,

Hello All,

I am requesting your support in achieving right livelihood creating artwork about feeling the feelings of risk and reward.

My work is mixed media and includes audio.

I am requesting that you leave me voicemail messages of you feeling feelings.

If you are interested in providing me with this kind of support, read on, details follow.

---

I plan to mix the audio files I collect to create the sounds of happy/sad, euphoric/terrified etc. crowds.

In my vision, the audio accompanies visual work (paintings, video, kinetic sculpture, installations of large active surfaces/ paintings and projections).

If you want to contribute your voice please follow the directions below.

FEELINGS CALL IN NUMBER: (646) 580-2732

Suggested message format:

Identify yourself if you would like to be included in the credits of contributors to my work in exhibition catalogs etc.

Your specific sounds will not be identified as being yours. If you prefer to be anonymous that's fine too.

Identify the feeling and the context of the feeling.

10-30 seconds of whatever sounds happen when you feel the feeling.

Close with "Thank you" so I know that you are done.

---

Example themes and messages

Example 1

1. Message: "Hi, this is [Name] I'm going to make the sounds of being really happy that something is going my way, and going really unbelievably well! Sounds of happy, cheering, YES! Thank you."

Here is an audio example:
https://www.dropbox.com/s/dyjgghuzey2m393/goingwell.mp3

Repeat or move on to the next one if you want to do more.

Checking out:

I am excited to ask for help and feel jittery in my chest and happy, flushed cheeks at the prospect of your participation.​

If you are interested and like the process, I would like you to do as many as you like, as often as you like!

Thanks for reading this!

Please let me know if there is anything I can do to support your vision.

Thank you.

When can I get a t-shirt of that cover photo???

Thank You Ed. I know your Workshop was interesting.

Oct 14, 2014

New York Tribe #2 Now On Line

Hi Ed,

I have attached a listing for our Tribe for the TTP directory.

Thank you for teaching me TTP and for working with me on rocks.
I am ready to share with others.

For FAQ.
I return from the workshop last night feeling great.

Today my wife thanks me for being with her. She notices that I'm able to just be present without having to read, focus on work or be occupied with a task. I am able to just engage with my children and my wife. I relate to them and we experience intimacy and joy of just spending our day together.

Later today we receive a call at our office - a client tells my wife our ​website for our studio business has been hacked.

I find [a] banner in place of a section of our home page ...

I contact the hacker on skype to tell him I appreciate that he leaves a calling card and ask him if he is willing to speak with me. He is willing to speak and we have a conversation where I validate and explain what I think has happened and he ends up explaining so I am able to quickly fix the issue. I inquire about his work (the hack) and meaning of his work (the image he leaves on his hacks). We end up in agreement that the message of the image is not clear.

(Ed, the Skpe chat is attached for your entertainment - you may include it if you like but please remove my name and the hacker's name)

On my walk home from work with my wife I notice that am not stressed by our hacker or the interaction I have with him. I feel that I enjoy our game of cat and mouse, easily perform some security patches to address the issue with no tension, fear or anger. I feel glad this happened to me and that I am able to experience it this way.

Intimacy centric communication works with children, wives and even [Country] hackers.​

Thank you.

- Love it! Smiling and laughing as we watched it at the airport. Be safe, taxi driver said a storm is coming in tomorrow.

- Thank you for sharing this story and music. I smile while I listen to the track and look at photos!

- Now you're talking -- [He] has found one of his mates!

Oct 13, 2014

Wants to Join

Ed,

Browsing the internet comparing penny stock brokers and pickers i came across your name.

the reviews that i got about you are really intresting.

undoubtedly i would love to join your Tribe.

may you please accept me. and guide me through this journey.

regards

Understanding feelings helps me be more relaxed about them. I can spend time more productively instead of trying to make feelings go away. I also enjoy my marriage and my kids more. I can see my children "feel" something and be accepting of that. I may make a suggestion about why they have the feeling but they must make their own path. I find that my wife thanks me regularly for sharing my feelings and she does so most of the time trying not to judge them, I something think I have some pretty weird feelings and her not judging them makes me feel closer and more loved by her.

I also see markets and the economy in a different light. It is amazing how many systems humans develop to avoid some feelings. I realize that there are entire industries that spring up to help people feel "good" feelings and avoid "bad" ones. Understanding this helps my trading and my concerns for the future.

Going forward I wish to do further Breathwork as I still feel I need to develop the need to identify certain feelings. Sometimes I feel I am feeling something but I cannot identify it. Maybe I should just go with the feeling of "feeling something":)

Breathwork 6-Month Report

Dear Ed,

For better comparison I have included sections of the 1 month Trading Tribe Breathwork, April 11-13 Weekend Report in blue.

Recap of the issue as posted one month after the Breathwork:

During Breathwork weekend I work on feelings that come up when I break an agreement. I feel a hollow, empty feeling in my chest which is usually accompanied by a stinging in the same area. I associate these feelings with guilt.

Before Breathwork, I often procrastinate and am seldom present. When I work, I feel guilty about working too much and not being with family enough. When I am with my family, the reverse is true.

Recap of the experiences as posted one month later:

One month since Breathwork I feel and act different. I feel confident, relaxed, happy, and joyful. I am deeply concerned about keeping my agreements with myself, as well as with others, in line.

I am also noticing that I am deeply affected by the work of other breathers, as well. Over the past month I see many changes in my behavior and relationships with others. Following is a list of things which are happening in my life since Breathwork.

Results based on my own Breathwork

- I experience nirvana like states in whatever I do, whether it is work, exercise, spending time with family. I smile a lot and feel free and happy. I am present at task whether it is being at work, time with family, exercise.

>- When I notice that I have an out- of-line agreement, I have the hollow chest feeling and the sting. I quickly work on getting my agreement in-line again.

- I have a system now when it comes to agreements. The key part of the system is the hollow feeling in my chest and the sting as a warning mechanism that an agreement might be out of line. As long as my agreements are in line I feel confident, strong, happy and free. When agreement gets out of line I feel hollow, unhappy and not free.

Results based on Breathwork processes of others

- Breather deals with an issue of not wanting to read contracts.

After my return from Breathwork I read my taxes documents for a first time. I notice serious errors. I remember being uncomfortable with the accountant, however, she is recommended to me by a family member and is cheap.

- Tribe member deals with an issue to ask and find competent help. (This work is actually done during the tribe meeting on Thursday before the Breathwork.) I fire my accountant who is messing up my taxes and hire a competent accountant.

- Breather deals with an issue of having too much stuff in his house especially when it comes to the amount of refrigerators.

I have two sons. There are a lot of toys in my house and they are everywhere. I buy 10 large bins and take 90% of the toys out of the house. 10% of the toys seem to be enough. Boys actually have more fun as they get to focus on playing with just one toy at a time.

- Breather deals with an issue of protecting his property

My relationship with my stuff feels different. I lock my car everywhere now, which I used not to do, my house is clean, and I am gentler with my stuff.

- Breather deals with his relationship with his son

My older son becomes unhappy easily; he gives up on himself often when tasks seem more challenging and when there is competition. Before Breathwork this bothers me. Now, I accept him and love him unconditionally. He surprises me with being thoughtful, kind and happy. My acceptance of him seems to free him. He also seems more positive now and willing to go for the things he wants. He used to not like to do his spelling homework. As I write these lines he is singing with his mother "Dwindle, dwindle, dwindle!" – as they joyfully practice the word.

There are countless other examples of other experiences in my life this past month, which I attribute to Breathwork. As a trader, I experience many ups and downs and the last few years are not a walk in park. Sometimes I visit dark places and feel a lot of sadness, regret and frustration. At times these feelings seem to feed on themselves, like waves.

Since Breathwork I am riding on some other, much more interesting waves. These are built from a joy of living. What is really cool is that these waves also seem to feed on themselves. I am excited to live, breathe, exercise, work and share feelings. What is even cooler is that I notice how I affect other people around me. I feel warmth in my chest and I picture this great big heart right in middle of it just radiating goodness, joy and love to the world. It just feels so good that I can't even describe it, but it is there and it is fun and I love every minute of it.

6 months later:

Although I feel I am less and less influenced by the Breathwork from the weekend of April 11-13 as time passes, many positive, tangible effects on my life are apparent.

A couple of months ago I experience the process of re-financing our house. I use to not pay attention to legal documents and just sign them. As a result, I would often make unfavorable agreements for myself, which I did not understand and would be unhappy about.

This time I am very thorough in reading the re-financing agreement. I research the rates, talk to people, and commit to deep listening when meeting with the lenders. The process takes a few months.

Today I feel the result of my diligence is a good relationship with the lender, a clear agreement, and very favorable conditions of the contract – I am saving a big pile of cash – and as we know, saving money is like making it!

My relationship with my wife improves. We enjoy each other and our children. We talk to each other often. Her involvement in running our businesses grows and is mutually beneficial. She enjoys the challenge, I enjoy the help.

In the years since my wife and I are together, we never watch our spending and run our household like a government entity - with no budget. Since the Breathwork, we develop a family budget. This feels really good.

My business partnership improves considerably. The relationship is originally based on me doing things to avoid feeling guilt, resulting in my partner controlling my business. I do not like this and often complain to my wife and grow a disliking of my partner.

Since Breathwork we have come to a new agreement a few months ago. We continue to work together with clearly defined boundaries which allow me to focus on the customer more, spend less time at work and make more money. I enjoy the result of my new relationship.

My relationship with my children is joyful and deep. We enjoy doing things together like homework, scouting, sports or just hanging out building Legos. Instead of constantly giving my older son a lesson, I focus on listening to him, providing a good example and am a good partner during activities he chooses to do and enjoy.

I maintain a healthy life style of exercising and eating right.

What's left to work on?

Although as I look back at the past six months, I see many positive results I also experience daily struggle to maintain my integrity and commitments to things that I find important. To be able to be productive at work, to be a good listener, spend time with my children and my wife, to exercise… it all takes energy and time. I start my days early in the morning and end late at night. I do not always succeed in doing the right thing. When I fail and miss on my commitment, when I lose my patience or eat a few more cookies in the evening, I recognize it and get with the program as soon as possible. I plan ahead, I read a lot, I strive to live a balanced happy life but like in trading I am not successful every day.

Some issues I experience when I get off my path include not sleeping well, experiencing the feeling of a sting in my chest, and sadness. I start a tribe to continue to explore these feelings more in depth in order to grow and evolve in the right direction.

Thank you for all your help and hard work in showing me the way, Chief.

Sincerely,

Since attending the Breathwork you host six months ago I feel in a consolidation pattern. I make moves toward my goal of greater intimacy with my Essential Tribe and stops toward finishing my trading system (I see my mistake using stops instead of steps, I decide to leave it).

I change professions but stay with the same company, I feel more in flow with changes, I accept people and step off the gas in my desire to change others. I gain new friends and reconnect with old ones. I explore my feelings on sharing and learn to share more and do so with ease while respecting my boundaries. I no longer feel in a race to impress and feel comfortable with my own speed.

My issue during Breathwork still lingers even after some work with hypnotherapy, I delay taking this issue to Tribe in favor of other easier issues, which contrasts to my normal approach of jumping in feet first without looking.

A year ago I make plans to attend your next Workshop, a week before you announce the dates I pledge to help someone with the funds I set aside for the Workshop, I again put myself on back burner for someone else and when I try and think of a workable solution to satisfy both parties I come up blank. Today, I miss the Workshop and the funds still await use.

I look forward to doing work in the coming weeks and continue to update FAQ on my progress.

Thank you.

Ed,

Another bearish study.

Down 10% the last two times (2007 and 1990).

So you see why I am so bearish!

- - - - -

I just wanted you to see this,

If you overlay 1929 with 2014 we are in 3/11/29 right now and the crash should begin next week.

Also ... you will find a lot more bearish history that is repeating itself

All the best,

Ps when you look at all of this you will know why I am so convinced! The chart overlay with 1929 is just icing on the cake!