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Contributors Say Ed Says
Sep 20, 2014

Listening to Feelings

Hi Ed,

I open up to [name] and I feel vulnerable. I show the emotions I hold back. I talk about my feelings. I think that [name] would recipricate but doesn't. I ask about how she feels. She doesnt tell me her feelings and instead tells me what she wants and what she wants from me.

Maybe I try to control her by sharing my feelings hoping that she will share hers. I dont mind that she doesnt but I start to feel irritated since she uses my vulnerability to place blame on me. Maybe she doesn't. I dont know but I think this way. She acts as if she has her shit together and I don't and I have to get my shit together. And I feel like she talks to me from up on her pedestal. Im really sick of it.

Hours after our conversation I cant help but feel as if she manipulates me.

Btw I send you my a--hole email after speaking with her.

I think I can do without her as I want something else.

I have a good trend going here. I get to eat healthy for cheap. I surround myself with plenty of nature, I have activities to do to help around the business, I have martial arts class, I have a community here. The situation is not perfect. I have things I would like to improve in myself and my situation, but I think Im onto a trend in my personal life.

I guess what keeps me from moving on is a sense of guilt that I promise her something in the beginning and I dont go through with it. This feeling or thought keeps me looking backwards hoping to right a wrong.

I would like to learn to feel this guilt.

Thank you for sharing your process.

I wonder what difference you see between listening to her (1) expressing her feelings and (2) telling you what she wants.

Sep 20, 2014

Amsterdam Tribe


I receive a number of new inquiries regarding TTP since closing the Amsterdam Tribe in June and, including former members, count a total of six people committing to attend.

I decide to relaunch the Amsterdam Tribe and welcome additional applicants who may want to join.

Please find the Amsterdam TTID, hereby attached.

I wonder if you might update the Directory link on the Resources page of your website accordingly.

Thank You.

Dank je wel voor het delen van uw proces - en welkom terug.
Sep 18, 2014


Hi Ed,

Today, my trading account is at all time high, after a recovery from 36.58% drawdown. My positions are

Short: Wheat, Beans, Sugar, Gold, Crude, TY
Long: DX, Cocoa, S&P

I hope you're doing well in PR and as always, you're welcome to our home, if you ever visit Silicon Valley.

Here is the photo of someone you know from my last visit to Computer History Museum.

I'm curious to know, where and when you have an idea of writing in SVOP-b?

I love to achieve mastery in SVOP-b thinking and writing!




Thank you for sharing your process - and for verifying the value of persistence.

Thank you for raising the issue of SVOp. I recall getting the idea in Encinitas, California - around 1980.

I resolve to speak in the now and to refrain from asking questions for a whole day - during which period I experience frustration - and conclude I have some basic opportunity to straighten out my thinking on a deep level.

I extend the process for a week, during which period I notice imposing the template helps me clarify what I mean to say - at the price of first having to think clearly about my meaning.

After a couple months, I find my thoughts starting to flow differently.

I have the experiment still in process.
Sep 18, 2014

Pulling Out Early

Hi Ed,

I would like to inform you that I cannot attend workshop on Sunday. I must leave on the morning flight in order to make it to my cousins wedding later that night. I wonder what I will miss on Sunday workshop.

Thank you for sharing your process.

The value you receive has to do with the degree to which you participate, both during the Workshop and before it, through FAQ.

You might consider taking your feelings about <pulling out early - before you complete things> to the Workshop.
Sep 18, 2014



Thank you for expanding your answer to Getting What He Deserves.

I don't believe I "deserve" anything - good or bad. I attempt to discern what I can change about the structure and what I can't.

I accept that [some people] currently experience me as whining and complaining, which of course precludes "true" sharing of feelings.

- - - - -

He: I notice that when I receive your e-mail asking me to call you I feel annoyed and manipulated, and I feel like I don't want to call you.

She: oh wow thank you for telling me that.

He: thank you for receiving it. I notice I expect you to get defensive.

She: thank you for sharing that. I see that I do get defensive and I feel much happier when I can just listen to what you say.


Thank you for sharing your process and insights.
Sep 18, 2014


Dear Ed,

Thanks for continuing to comment on boundaries. 

I find myself "guessing" about where a healthy boundary might be, especially when it comes to establishing rapport.

I wonder what to "do" when I request communication from someone and receive no response.

I wonder whether to "run at it" or accept (assume?) that the person does not want to establish rapport or else they would respond.

I wonder where the "pro-active" response lies for me in this scenario?

Thanks for providing this forum for sharing.  Reading FAQ helps me a lot in my personal growth.
Thank you for sharing your process.
Sep 18, 2014

Vice-Like Grip

Dear Ed,

I feel heat radiate across my chest and a tightness under my ribs on the left side as i think about my financial situation. My face screws up in a grimace. I want to get out of this vise-like grip.

With love and regards,

Your student.

Thank you for sharing your process.

Traditionally, people want to "get out of the vice."

In TTP, we aim to get you in to it and to make it tighter - until you come to see what kinds of Rocks you carry around that run your life.

From there, we may assist you in replacing Medicinal Rocks with Proactive Heart Rocks.

Wanting To Get Out

can get you in deeper.

Sep 18, 2014

Workshop Issues

Hi Ed,

A lot of this is already in the essay.
I've selected a few that have been the costliest (emotionally and financially).

My Current Situation:

I am a trader with exceptionally high potential to be one of the absolute greatest and recognize that eliminating a hand full of behaviors will put me well on my way in short order. I want to deal with whatever feelings stand between me and being one of the absolute best traders ever.

The Specific Situation I Desire:

I am one of the greatest traders that has ever lived. I trade to my full potential. I have felt the feelings that had previously prevented me from achieving my potential and finding the right ways to achieve my full potential. I feel grateful. I will always be able to give.

My Current Situation:

Apprehensive about big jumps in success. I feel like being wildly successful might somehow make me 'bad".

When I am faced with big jumps in baseline success in trading / success happens quickly, once I realize the implied windfall by projecting out X months, years etc. I become preoccupied with maintaining outlier performance as the standard and engage in excessive risk/poor risk management/poor execution / errors (code, calculation, implementation etc) . Losses are the typical result, I then ​question my worth and ability.

The Specific Situation I Desire:

I accept that I can have rapid success and that I can still be me. I accept my ability, and trading/empathy gift. I feel worthy of success, deserving of wealth, deserving of happiness and stability. I feel calm and secure in my ability to be consistently great when trading and to allow myself to accept losses, protect capital and trust that there is no limit or expiration on my ability to trade.

My Current Situation:

A climb that starts slow, accelerates to impressive heights then crashes:

I trade well for many weeks in a row, even months. I make money nearly every day. I begin a run with small percentage wins each day and careful implementation. I am trading well and in a way that is congruent with my systems, my research and my beliefs. It feels great and the results are great.

As the days go on I am more apprehensive and overconfident at the same time.​
I am focused on making EVERY TRADE a winning trade and taking more and more risk.

I feel greedy and competitive.
I feel aggressive and rushed.​
I keep winning by forcing wins through lopsided risk/reward trades and feel afraid.

I am attached to the idea of how much I will make if I continue doing well.
I'm not trading properly now but still "winning", I only want to win. It feels like binging on drugs or sex. I am taking trades I don't relate to and that have no known or tested expectation.

I'm tired.

I am losing now. Today. I "come to" after a series of massive losses in a day or one huge loss.

I stop trading for a while to think about why intend to do well then suddenly intend to win then intend to lose.

I reflect and learn.

I restart the cycle.

The Specific Situation I Desire:

A steady rise in profit with occasional jumps up and pauses. I am committed to trading well. My trading results do not include the blowouts and deviations from the kind of trader I can be and want to be all the time. I continue trading well and take breaks to assimilate the success and integrate the progress.​

My Current Situation:

I feel a sense of fear that if I focus on trading 100% instead of my other businesses, I may not be able to support my family and our lifestyle.

The Specific Situation I Desire:

Trading pays the bills and some. I have stable confidence and results/behavior.
I focus on trading and trading related development 90% of the time. The legacy businesses run successfully with the help of employees. 90% of my income comes from a small percentage of taken out of trading profits each month. The percentage taken from profits is 3x my overhead. I have no fear of a blow up in trading or in any other area of my life.

My Current Situation:

I have hundreds of trading paradigm ideas, many areas of interest for research that relate to my observations and feelings about price/crowd behavior, many feelings and beliefs related to types of price activity, a number of working automated systems, several initial frameworks for entries, exits and regime detection and an innate skill that I've developed over years at reading the tape/charts and trading in accordance with the prevalent mode or trend in any market on a short time frame. It is not fully congruent, articulated, complete or functional as a system, business or philosophy.

The Specific Situation I Desire:

I have a well articulated philosophy that explains a cohesive and congruent system of systems including automated versions of my best discretionary trading methodologies, the best of my existing automated systems incorporated in a way that gives expression to the concepts I find most interesting and that yields consistent profit as part of the larger ecosystem. All elements are tested and "proven" to a 98% confidence level to be robust across a number of markets specifically within the contexts for which they are intended to thrive. All component systems are integrated into a symbiotic/diversified and profitable trading business that I operate as a trader and Grand Patriarch. I continue to manually trade along side my systems profitably and continually apply what I learn, test and develop to the system ecosystem.

My Current Situation:

Friends and family offer/request for me to trade their capital. A fund offers to back my trading. Other express confidence in my ability based on their appraisal of me and my (punctuated) periods of high returns with high a daily Sharpe.
I feel hesitant. Afraid of 'outside' capital and reluctant to be 'beholden' to someone. Feel like an impostor. Not ready to not blow up.

The Specific Situation I Desire:

I trade well consistently and have completely eliminated the periodic risk binges at the root - in a paradigm shift. I'm comfortable trading third party capital along with my capital and have attracted like minded investors that contribute the right intensions. We have several million dollars under management and are attracting many additional investors.

Thank you for sharing your process and issues.

Sep 17, 2014



Our onions are looking well this season.


Thank you for sharing your process.

I see you raising a couple good-looking onions there.
Sep 17, 2014

Shame and Other Issues

Hi Ed,

I think I have a thing about shame I may need to work on.

Something happens recently that I let me experience shame. That night I dream and wake up shocked. The shame follows me and makes me feel it in my dreams.

Anyways, now I have saliva keep pooling up in my mouth and I have to spit it out. I wonder if TTP can help me get over this.

Thanks for listening,

- - - - -

I would like to apologize for saying too much stuff. Anyways I think I change for the better. I apologize if I make you feel uncomfortable reading my mail sometimes. Im really sorry. Thank you for listening to me. I think about the impression I make on you.

I scrunch my mouth and nose and I squint my eyes when I think about what you may think of me. I breath out. Ehhhhh.....

Anyways, see you in October.

- - - - -

I wonder how you feel about self acceptance. I can see the positive of seeing all my flaws as a person so that I may fix them, but I have trouble with my self image. I wonder what you have to say about this issue.

- - - - -

Thanks for your responses. When I initially read your response I wonder what the answer has to do with what I write you. Then it hits me.

Yes I would like to consciously see how I set my boundaries and learn to to set proper boundaries in the intimacy centric way. I think that in the control centric way I would demean a person and lower his self worth for stepping into my boundaries. I would like to learn how to set up my personal boundaries at workshop. I do not know the feeling that accompanies <setting up boundaries>. I guess anger.

- - - - -

I notice I often behave as an a--hole. I would like to change that part of my personality.

Thank you for sharing you process.

TTP doesn't aim to "get over" things.

It aims to "get through" things by experiencing them and by developing proactive responses.
Sep 17, 2014


Morning Ed,

I plan to stay in Puerto Rico at the intercontinental hotel from the 9th October to the 14th of October.

I look forward to meeting you and feel nervous thinking about attending the workshop! Updated workshop intention document to follow.

Thank you for sharing your process.
Sep 17, 2014

Getting What He Deserves

Dear Ed,

I want to write to you and I am so full of feelings that I have a difficult time with it. I have a hard time even breathing right now and my stomach feels tight and hot, like a hot ball. I am just going to go for it.

I feel like I have wrecked my life. Here are the thoughts or things that trouble me, some of this I write to you before.

I grow up in a hostile environment with an abusive Mom and a Dad who is paranoid with psychotic thoughts. I seem to try to overcome this all of my life. My parents pass away 6 months apart and before they do they both ask me to take care of my brother who is a drug addicted and living with them. I can't remember what I said to them but it was not "sure that will be fine".

In April of this year my Brother dies. This hits me hard; I lose 10 pounds. (I am already thin) and I break out in an odd rash. I think about him and my parents just about every day.

Not long after this my son who has multiple head traumas is checked in to a substance abuse center after being kicked out of school for the remainder of the year (he is caught at school with drugs).

Then while he is in the rehab my oldest daughter who has a history of depression is checked into a psychiatric ward because she is not safe.

As this is all unfolding I am seemingly "OK" except for one thing, my trading account.

About the time my son goes to rehab I start a draw down in my trading account. I think "OK I can handle all of this and will bounce back on all fronts". I did not, the trading account is almost gone and it is my only monetary resource and how I pay myself.

I feel like of have wrecked my life.

I think about this and realize that I feel guilty about passing on certain "bad" genes to my kids and guilty for not taking care of my brother and how quickly he died.

I think about what Robert Krausz said in Market Wizards:"The more closely the conscious mind is aligned with the subconscious, the easier it is to generate winnings. To keep those winnings, however, your subconscious mind must believe only one thing: that you deserve your winnings."

So then I think Intentions = results and I just don't get it, how can I want this?

I don't want this at a conscious level. I hate this, it feels awful and I feel like a failure. However, at a subconscious level could this be what I want and thus what is going on? Deep down I think I feel undeserving.

When I was young my mother said many times "I hate you, I wish you were never born, you will be a failure just like your dad". I hate failure. My head is spinning and I don't know what to do. Bills seem to come every day and I have failed. I am just going to feel it as best as I can.

Thanks for continuing the tribe work, I hope you are well and to see you again.

Warm regards,

Thank you for sharing your process - and for your courage in documenting it.

Intentions = Results (aka. Structure --> Behavior) can serve as a reminder - that the results we get follow from how we structure our lives.

In TTP we aim to identify the Structure (by examining Feelings and Forms) - and to modify it (Medicinal --> Proactive / Control-Centric --> Intimacy-Centric) so as to Behave differently and get different Results.

You might consider taking your feelings about <failure> and <getting what you deserve> to Tribe and/or to the upcoming Workshop.

From there you might identify the underlying structure of your Medicinal Rocks and come to see how they attract and maintain your drama.

Replacing your Medicinal Rocks with Heart Rocks can profoundly change your personality and, ultimately, get you different results.

Your drama of choice typically also includes the whine cycle: complaining about results, conjuring up theories, wishing for change, enrolling more players and getting more of the same.

People Who Get an Anemic Flower
and say "I deserve better"

generally deserve

to get an anemic flower
and say, "I deserve better."

Sep 17, 2014

Sobriety and Anger

Dear Ed,

June 21st, 2011 was the last day my lips touched alcohol.

As to Cannabis, it help the pain from 4 broken ribs better than pain pills.

Sober, I am angry.

Drinking held down this anger.

I just got back from lawyer. the drama will get ugly. I intend to focus on the truth. it feels angry sober, vein popping.


In 2010, I saw serious memory and personality changes in wife.

I quit, thinking she may follow suit. She chose to continue drinking. I feel guilt as I was the "drinker".

I feel tears, sorry, broken heart, betrayed marriage decisions. I thought about drinking for the first time in over three years. The pain is intense.

Kicking into broken rib could have killed me. This is why doctors do not wrap ribs, punctured lung or worse. I am so angry. If you think stopping Cannabis would help, I will. I am worried, sad, angry, hurt, but this time I went to a lawyer. If I were drinking this would not happen. I need rest and to cry.

Thank you for sharing your process.

FAQ does not tell people what they "should" do.

FAQ suggests identifying the issues that run your life - and reframing your emotional responses using the Intimacy-Centric model.

You might consider taking your feelings about <anger> and <what you "should" do> to Tribe or to the upcoming Workshop.

Sep 17, 2014


Hi Ed,

Concerning the five windows FAQ. I don't get the part about the windows and the people in the windows. I understand that someone gets beat and abused but I don't understand about the people in the windows.

I guess I feel a lot of confusion when reading the submission. I have to read it over several times to get it and I still don't know what happens. I think the guy has a wife that beats him and another girl likes him(?).

Also, I see your response to a post about fear of snakes. You say the proactive response involves a rifle. I wonder if therapy or NLP/hypnotic suggestions would also count as proactive.

I also wonder to what extent the heart rock can help an individual. For example, a person feel envious of me and tries to take something of mine. I look at the person in the eyes and share that I feel scared the person tries to take something from me. Or I get a weapon to protect myself with. In the latter case it seems might attract more drama.

Also, I read the workshop update that a member submits detailing the successes he has since he goes to workshop last year. I feel hopeful and in awe of what the member accomplishes. I would like to congratulate him. I would like to submit my own success story in a year.

Thank you for sharing your process.

In the TTP Intimacy-Centric Communication Model, we hold that establishing rapport and sharing feelings helps us to know others' boundaries and to define and manage our own boundaries.

In the Control-Centric relating, you pretty much have to guess, run experiments and accept the consequences.

You might consider examining your feelings about <setting boundaries>.

In Control-Centric Relating

you pretty much have to guess
about boundaries.

Sep 17, 2014

Govopoly in Action


I place an order for Govopoly about six weeks ago and don't have my book yet.

I wonder if you can trace it for me.

Thank you for the information about your book.

The USPS tells me your book has customs clearance to leave the US, heading for Brazil, as of 9/12/2014, or five days ago.

It has original post mark of 7/30 - so it looks like US Customs takes about 6 weeks to complete their process.

They have no explanation for this.

According to them, you can expect your book to reach you soon.

Please let me know when it arrives as this may qualify as some kind of world record.
Sep 17, 2014

Alcohol and Violence

Dear Ed,

I feel an urgent need to share my feelings after reading "More on 5 Windows", Sep. 17.

I feel anxious, agitated and distraught (I guess they feel similar), as I identify with the violent relationship the writer describes so vividly.

In my case, long ago, I participate more passively as the receiver of punches, but I know that both parties must take responsibility for such events.

I feel sick to my stomach at the same time as I feel compassion for both people in the drama. So many Rocks!

I feel sad that people feel trapped in repetitive nightmares like this. I wait seven years before getting out of mine.

As a former frequent user of both forms of medication, I see alcohol driving such violence much more than weed.

I will try to meditate now so I can go to work without this agitation.

I almost write "medicate"!

Thank you for sharing your process.

In TTP, we hold that people resort to violence when they can't express anger any other way.

This may result when the receiver has judgments about anger and refuses to entertain communication about it. Thus, and ironically, aversion to anger can attract violence.

This applies in personal relationships, and also in politics if and when leaders tune out the anger of their constituents.

In the TTP Intimacy-Centric Model, we establish rapport and practice empathetic listening to all thoughts and feelings.

When feelings flow naturally and effortlessly, people develop affinity for each other and rarely resort to violence as a means of expression.

You might consider taking your feelings to Tribe and/or to the upcoming Workshop - and noticing if you use meditation as medication.

People Resort to Violence

when they can't express their feelings
any other way.

Sep 17, 2014

Wants More TSP

Hi Ed !

I am trader who place in east asia - [Area].

It 's my honor to communicate with you though it just e-mail.

Ed, you are my roll model and sometimes i will become like you.

I hope you live until you see the news as title " there is reincarnation of Ed Seykota in [Area]" !. :)

(then may be you will live forever .)

These days, i just read your writing in your homepage about TRADING SYSTEMS PROJECT(TSP).

And i cannot see after chapter. Diversification Study updated last April 27,2006.

Is it just stop now? If not, how can i accept after Diversification study?

I will be appreciated if you informe me how to read or access the chapter after Diversification study.

Thanks Ed, you are lighthouse of all traders in market.
Thank you for raising this issue.

You might like to help extend the work by writing some of the chapters.

Alternatively, I have TT_Chartbook under construction.

Sep 17, 2014

Wants to Barter


I want you to help me. I want to attend your workshop in Puerto Rico. In return I will help you.

Thank you for offering to help me.

I would like to know more about the service you offer and evaluate it independently from your possible paricipation in the Workshop.

I charge up front for the Workshop.

People Who Sell Services
that change how you feel

generally collect up front.

Sep 17, 2014

More on Fluffy

Dear Ed:

Regarding the fluffy girl with donuts, I feel shame at how you see me.

Thank you for sharing your feelings.

You might consider noticing your feelings about <shame>.

I wonder if you can identify one of your Rock Donors - an early role model of yours who feels and acts the same way.

People Who Judge Shame

generally get to deal with
a lot of it.

Sep 17, 2014

More On Five Windows (below)


The link with zoom helps.

Seven windows is correct.

In the third is a lady in white, fourth a man with short black hair and tie, window five a man with a big nose and dark stash, looking down. The lady and man have a head behind them.

Five spirits, 7 windows. my first thought was that A google engineer was messing with window stalkers.

I "tripped" avoiding a dean mouse left on this walkway on August 22, stumbled and landed on our driveway.

Technically my rib cage broke my fall. An x-ray on August 28th found a Fractured 7th rib. My rib was broken during my wonderful day at the beach. I felt no pain. My positive attitude radiated, [Name] became mean, angry, drunk.

I sat on my terrace the evening of September 9th. the night was perfect as the heat reached 102-105 at 1200 feet up. I hear the terrace lock from the inside. I stand and knock.

"The door locked," I said.

[Name] opened the door and launched her treat rally. "You have to be careful, things happen to people all the time, be careful", "you must have locked the door. Oh only from the inside? well things happen to people, things happen and no one finds out", she continued.

I lay on the bed, nauseous, and in so much pain. [Name] lay on her side still talking. i sat up, sick, unable to lie blat.

I hear, "Why do you just f--king leave". [Name] donkey kicks me in my broken rib, 15 days into healing.

"I can't f--king believe that you kicked my broken rib" I screamed about 5 times. I staggered to our bathroom. She rushed me, trying to get me to fight, pushing against me 'Hit me. Hit me like i saw on TV"(Ray Rice).

the result, visit to lawyer 10th, Dr 11th. the doctor called at 11:58am. [My Name] you have four broken ribs, the 6, 7, 8, 9th and it takes 6-8 weeks to hear.

I have to report it to the police" Dr. [Name 2] said. I kept his voice mail. Puppy gets ribs kicked in my alcohol and anger. [Name 3] is texting me, inviting me out. I have not gotten back to her, maybe manana. Pure pain makes a player.

Thank you for sharing your process.

If you wish to identify some of your issues, and possibly free yourself from a life of high-intensity drama, you might consider abstaining from weed (and alcohol) for a while and noticing what feelings come up.

You can then take these feelings to Tribe and/or report them to FAQ, along with the number of days since last using.

Weed and Booze

Substances of choice
for medicating feelings.

Sep 16, 2014

Five Windows


I looked Saturday morning on Google Maps ... zoom into my five windows. Do you see them?

Five Windows


Thank you for raising this issue.

I wonder how you feel about people having the ability to see your home, and, to some extent, into it.

By the way, I see seven windows.

Sep 16, 2014


Hi Ed,

I hope you are well.

This evening a friend and I were debating the use of the word "try"

My feeling was that this word is usually linked to failures and is best avoided.
EG. I tried to get the job, I tried to get there on time and these statements are usually followed by, but I missed the bus, or I did not impress at the interview so I failed to get the job etc.

My friend made the point that trying is not always linked with failure and it can be followed by and then I got there on time, and I got the job etc.

We could not agree on if it is a bad word that belongs in the same pile of bad words such as "should" and "appropriate" etc.

I figured out the other day that using the word "appropriate" is another controlling type of word such as "should". If someone says my behaviour is inappropriate it really means that they think it not the correct way to behave ( in their opinion ). This is no different to saying "You should not act that way"

If you have any opinions on the use of the word "try" I would be pleased to hear them.


Thank you for raising this issue and for noticing the worlds within your words.

Trying associates with the effort you expend in a pursuit. If you associate trying with the results you get, you can get a grid, such as below:

Lazy: Low effort and low results.
Inefficient: High effort and low results.
Industrious: High effort and high results.
Efficient: Low effort and high results.

Effort and Results

correlate in different ways.

(c) Ed Seykota, 2014

Sep 16, 2014

Workshop Commitment

Thanks Ed.

I'm happy I made the commitment [to attend the Workshop].

If from your experience you feel there is anything I can do to be well prepared to better participate, support, learn, and benefit, please advise.


Thank you for raising this issue.

You might consider defining key issues, according to the examples above.

You might also consider behaving in the way you wish you could, and noticing what feelings this brings up.

You might also consider discussing with family and friends what they think you might accomplish with your life if you put yourself into it.
Sep 16, 2014

Feelings about Dependency

Dear Ed,

I notice myself resonating like a tuning fork as I read "Wants to Back Out" (Sept. 4).

In my case the title would read, "Wants to Prove She's Not Dependent", which on a deeper level would read, "Both Fears and Longs for Dependency".

The writer accepts her former boyfriend's offer to pay her enrollment in your Workshop, and then decides she should "wait" until she can pay for it herself (I assume "she" due to the mention of boyfriend but I may be incorrect about gender).

Issues most likely exist on both sides of their agreement, but what better place to deal with that than in the Workshop? She can set a primary goal of repaying the loan if that feels important to her. Meanwhile, lots of other good things may happen there.

I feel very happy to finally learn that I can be my own autonomous self and still enjoy depending on others, even when they are not perfect at taking care of my needs.

I attach a photo that illustrates my feelings about dependency, which I call "Everybody Needs a Binkie".


with stylish binkie holder.


Thank you for sharing your process.

You might consider noticing how you feel about:

1. Dependent
2. Independent
3. Codependent
4. Interdependent

Sep 16, 2014

Orlando Trading Tribe

Dear Chief!

I hope all is well with you. I see you move into warmer climates. I wonder, how are you enjoying the island life?

I do enjoy my family, life, work and trading a great deal since the breath-work.

I also notice that I am not making any progress in some areas like business building and fund raising.

I notice my mood being often attached to my P&L.

I wish to continue to grow and thus: please find the founding document of Central Florida Trading Tribe attached.


Thank you for sharing your process - and for starting a Tribe in Orlando.

Disneyland, Oranges

and now a Trading Tribe
Sep 15, 2014

Helping Others


I feel I have been trying to 'help others' for a long time.

My Tribe leader tell me 'How do feel about helping others' after I relay to him the story about my roommate. My roommate wants to move out of the house and live in his car so he can keep on trading.

I try to convince him to do otherwise.

Then I have an episode with a co-worker. This co-worker is have a problem with her boss I try to help her and believe that I succeeded in fixing her issue.

Yesterday I hang out with a guy. He wants to meet women to find a girlfriend. I try to convince him to not look for a girlfriend but find a wife. We had a long discussion were I tell him stories of people who suffer because they did not get married on time in their life.

He tries to convince me and tells stories of people who suffer in marriage. The discussion goes on for a long time both of us getting emotional and trying to convince the other.

As I drive back home, I have feelings about my own marriage. I also feel that I have been trying to change other people by helping them.

I wonder why I need to help others, help them to get on the right path. I remember I used to do that when I was younger in school years. I always tried to give advise to my friends I remember some of my friends like this while others did not.

I wonder why I have this urge to advise others. As I try to find reasons for this behavior, I think it may be that I feel if I tell people what is good for them they will stick around as my friends. They will think of me as a good guy and be friends with me or may be it is just that I want to control others.

It wonder if this may be related to my childhood, being afraid of my father all the time. I feel if I did good, it will be safe and my father will be not be upset with me.

As I am new to TTP I may believe that I have a new tool that I can use to control other people.

Although these few people I have been trying to help do stay in touch with me and like to talk to me again.


Thank you for sharing your process.

In TTP we do not aim to help, change or otherwise fix people - unless they ask for it.

Then, we generally help them by encouraging them to find their own answers, in their own ways.

Trying to push people to do what you think best for them associates with the control-centric relationship model - useful, perhaps, for grabbing children out of harm's way if you see them in the street in the path of an oncoming vehicle.

You might consider taking your feelings about <wanting people to do things your way> to Tribe.
Sep 15, 2014

Wants to Listen to His Wife - and Manage a Fund


Here is my [Workshop] template part 1:

My current situation:
I don't listen to my wife feelings

The Specific Situation I Desire:
I listen to my wife feelings and acknowledge her as she is respectfully.


Here is my template part 2:

My current situation:
Not managing a fund.

The Specific Situation I Desire:
Managing a fund with 50 million NOK under management.


Here is my template part 3:

My current situation:
I am eating more food than I need and I am also eating when I am not hungry. I am eating to medicate my feelings.

The Specific Situation I Desire:
I eat only when I am hungry. I am not eating to medicate my feelings.

Kind regards,

Thank you for sharing your process.

As further preparation for the Workshop, you might consider visiting the website below and discussing it with your wife.

Say good bye to active listening.

You might also consider defining some specific properties of your fund, such as:

How you determine the markets you trade.
How you get your trading ideas.
How you size your positions.
How you manage your risk.
How you raise funds.

Also, 50 million Norwegian Krone comes to about $7,500.000. I wonder what you plan to do when a client offers to give you more than that amount.

Also, you might consider noticing your feeling of <hunger>.

Sep 15, 2014

Boston Tribe Now Open To New Members

Dear Ed,

I attach the Boston Trading Tribe ID update. I schedule our next meeting for 11/11. We are open to new members.

I wonder if you might remove Florham Park NJ from the Tribe Directory as that tribe no longer meets.


Thank you for providing a Tribe in your area.

Sep 15, 2014

Driving the Wagon


Thank you for your work related to alcoholism on your page:

Your resource is great material for anyone concerned about alcohol addiction and recovery.

I am also working to spread resources concerning addiction. I have helped to put together an article concerning the effects of alcohol on an individual's relationships. Our article, How Alcohol Can Affect Your Relationship with Your Children, focuses on a few of the negative impacts your alcohol consumption can have on this delicate, and very important, relationship. Check out the article at:

If you could take a moment to check out our page, you may find it useful to share it with your readers. Any share, like, or mention goes a long way. We are hopeful in helping individuals who are concerned with alcohol abuse, and in helping to create a successful road to recovery.

Thank you so much for your time.

Thank you for sharing your process.
Sep 15, 2014

Prefers Conflict Over Intimacy

Dear Ed,

I am unable to attend the upcoming workshop that I have been waiting for between 10 - 12 October due to a legal matter that requires my presence elsewhere at the same time. I have been avoiding feeling how I feel about not attending the workshop and until I finally confront my feelings.

I feel irritated and at the same time angry about missing out the workshop. I feel lacking control and disappointed and unable to steer my life in a direction towards understanding myself for the better.


Thank you for sharing your process.

TTP Workshops tend to draw out the patterns that run your life.

Law has a control-centric basis; custom has an intimacy-centric basis.

You might consider noticing your feelings about <choosing conflict over intimacy>.

The Rule of Law

Deal with lawyers
and feel bad;

stop dealing with lawyers
and feel better.

Sep 15, 2014

Wants to Join


Hello, I am a novice foreign exchange trader, but fully committed to the trend following technique. Im interesting in becoming part of the trading tribe and would like to learn how i can do this.

Thanks very much,

Thank you for raising this issue.

You can send contributions to FAQ for free.

You can also join a tribe in your area for free, or start one of your own.

You can also read The Trading Tribe and attend the upcoming Workshop. See Resources above.
Sep 13, 2014

My Way


I feel quite emotional as I listen to Frank Sinatra singing "My Way", as if for the first time.

I never really pay close attention to the lyrics before ... I get the point but never really notice and take in the words.

Thank you for acknowledging me in such a powerful way.

Thank you for sharing your process.
Sep 12, 2014


Hi Ed,

Think of you and the FAQ tribe. I can feel lonliness now. It involves me sobbing to myself. I go out to talk to people and I feel less lonely. A strong and persistent loneliness exists that only one person can fill. She stays the one and only to fill this void. It feels like pressure on my chest.

I wonder how you replace something irreplacable. I feel a lump in my throat.

Thanks for listening,


I confirm that you have removed my post. Thank you Ed. And thanks for listening. I think by sharing with you I find that I get better emotionally.

Thanks for your help.

I see the FAQ page has tons of updates. Thank you for your work.


Thanks for commenting and thank you for sharing [the shame issue] issue with the tribe.

I see the picture you post and I feel disgusted by it. My mouth lowers down and I feel tension and I frown.

Thank you for sharing your process.
Sep 12, 2014

Workshop Issues


The situation I have:
When I do things I like to explain my reasons for doing such and such. I try to convince others and myself about what I do and what others do "is correct".

The situation I want:
I do not try to convince others.

Thank you for raising these issues.
Sep 11, 2014

A Place For Everyone


You might like this video - A Place in the Choir
Thank you for sending me the video.

I see the banjo player has a place in the band.
Sep 11, 2014


Hi Ed,

I talk to my mom and I gain some of my momentum back. I think I do not feel embarassment. I share too much info with you and withthose around me. I walk around bringing embarassment to myself. I think I just have an AHA.


I read your response to a FAQ post dated Saturday, July 3, 2010

"Fathers and Sons - can help each other grow."

I see the picture and it reminds me of when I attend a similar boyscout event with my dad. Except we have to make and race a sailboat instead of car. My dad does everything for me and I don't get to actively participate. I laugh as I think about this and my eyes even water from feeling of joy. I know my dad doesnt get to spend time like this with his dad nor has this type of experience as a kid. Im glad that he gets to enjoy some of his childhood through me. I love my father.

I would like to live and take care of myself now. I would like to have an essential tribe of my own to take care and protect and enjoy.

I chuckle to myself at the thought of my dad liking boyscouts more than I did. I love my father.

Thanks Ed



A thought comes to me that if I dont worry about money then I will have no money. I acknowledge this thought and I smile.


I feel a tingle in my scalp and I feel like oulling out my hairs. I start to do this for while and it feels good although I worry about hair loss. I wonder what Fred wants me to experience. I think it wants me to experience loss. In my mind what I "lose" I still have a chance to get back.


I take a look at the relationships I have with my family. Everything runs on the control model and I find myself using this also.

With friends and associates when I do not want to deal with them I just avoid seeing them at all. Recently a close aquaintance I know begins to scare me with her actions. I don't know how to react so I start avoiding her altogether. Same with most people I deal with. If I do not want to deal with them I just shut off communication.

I do not feel my feelings. I would like to stay safe in dealing with people.


I judge everything. This stems from my self loathing and inability to accept myself and probably some other feelings. I wish to receive people better.

I listen to a song and I judge the singer. The singer is not good enough. The singer doesnt have soul. The lyrics are not good enough. I cannot accept this person because I see much of myself in this person. I would like an acceptance rock. I would like to learn how to receive one at workshop. I judge the world so harshly because I judge myself harshly and I tear up and have short breaths thinking about it and I think about crying.

Thank you for listening,


Sometimes I see my situation so clearly. When this happens and I see it I can laugh at the cosmic joke. And then I wake up and continue with living. I think about control and I think about letting go and to other people I may seem free but inside I know I only follow the current. I would like to change the direction of the current. I wonder if you can teach me.

Thank you for sharing your process.

You might consider taking the feeling of <wanting someone to listen to you> to Tribe or to the upcoming Workshop.
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