NRH Tribe,

Thank you for welcoming [me] into your home and Tribe. I smile and feel warmth when I think of you.

I had been struggling with thoughts and feelings of frustrations and not knowing why I would not do the things I wanted in life and business. I was Coasting or just doing what I had been doing in the past. My intention was to work on a few things that had been recurring in my mind from my childhood. But that was not how things went in Tribe.

I have been remembering an instance in my childhood often and it was bothering me or possibly prodding me to look at this experience deeper. I was a bed wetter growing up. I guess in my moms frustration she began making me where diapers during the day during the summer. On one particular day my siblings and I were invited to go swimming. My mom said I could go but I would have to wear the diaper under the swim trunks. Well, there was no way I could do that. The vivid memory I have standing on the driveway as they loaded in the car and drove away and I was feeling sad, frustrated and humiliated. I felt ridiculed and unloved by my mother.

So with my frustration that I wasn't excelling in life or living right livelihood this memory is always in my mind. In taking this issue to Tribe I warm up before hand describing the family drama happening now with my family and my feelings of how my nephew is not positively working on his alcoholism. During the HS I tell my story of what is going on and what I think is the problem but I can't feel my way through the process. During the HS I am surprised I am showing many forms and I go with them to bring up the emotions but I just don't come up with a memory.

The manager states he finds it is almost always necessary for the HS to close their eyes to not be distracted. I find it hard to do this. Manager also says I am staying in my mental side and not able to feel my way through this. I wish I could disagree but he always tells me the truth. This is the way my family does it or at least the way my dad taught me to do it. He was always thinking and not feeling and growing up I always took pride in that I could think through a problem and not have silly feelings cloud logic.

We take a break in the middle of the process as I am struggling to move forward and there is one thing that bothers me as we relax. I had forgotten [the Process Manager]'s name. It is not uncommon for me to forget names but he is a close friend and I am sitting in his house. I put the idea out of my mind and we resume. I take the advice to close my eyes and the forms show up. I want to hunker down; I pull my shoulders in especially the one that is near to the group. I have a pillow in front of me the entire time of tribe to protect me. I fear being in front of others and the center of attention. Again, I can't remember the manager's name and I freeze and am trying to remember his name, I try to envision his name on my phone to recall it. I freak out some and tell the group. I am relieved when he says I am likely finally getting out of my head and letting my emotions run.

I remember a time not long ago where I was in a safe place and I was acting silly and I was the center of attention and having a blast. At about this same time I was acting silly I also did a breathing exercise with someone where I was intending to change my beliefs that I deserved so much more than what I was getting and in the breathing exercise everything was going great until I saw in my mind in bold black letters, "YOU DON'T DESERVE THIS". I describe these two incidents to the Tribe and how it was fun to be silly and I felt safe to be silly and I was very happy at that time.

I don't remember the order of everything but I believe the manager begins to say, this isn't The [HS Surname] Way, we don't act silly, and this isn't how we do things. He was emphatic and stated it over and over. I start to laugh and think about the time I was silly and it was OK to be that way. I am still laughing as I here, " This isn't the [HS Surname] Way". I look over at a tribe member and laughing saying I am going to trademark that saying.

Growing up wasn't joyful and fun it was work, drama and just living with your emotions under control. Now, life can be fun. In the role play Manager acted the part of my dad and how acting silly wasn't OUR way. During this a few things came clear to me. I saw acting silly or enjoying myself is a great thing. I also have a silliness knob like volume control I can turn it up when appropriate and turn in down when silliness is not appropriate. It is my knob and I can use however I wish. I also saw in lighter bold letters that I am entitled to have fun and success. I claim the right to be happy, be silly, and be successful. I forgave the rock to my dad for how he responds and acts not being silly - ever. I can't remember what rock I forgave to my mother. From the Tribe I accepted a heart rock of loving to act silly, knowing it's more than OK to be silly, it's awesome and I am free to live however I wish.

What did this roleplay have to do with my memory of the diapering? I have no idea. I haven't had this recurring thought except when I have thought aobut the Tribe session. I wonder if it was just a catalyst for allowing me to change a few rocks I had for ones I deemed better suited for how I want to live.

In the two weeks since our tribe meeting I am feeling lighter, happier, and more active in doing the work I always said I wanted to do but never did. Recently and very importantly, I notice I walk into a store or venue and don't look around to see who may be there.

I always did this so I could see who was there I may know and who to avoid (hide from) or want to visit with. I live generally in a small community so running into people I know is not uncommon. I was always on the lookout to protect myself. Now when I go somewhere I am present in the Now and think about what I am there to get and go on about my day. It is a wonderfully freeing feeling.

Thank you,

I wonder how you do.

I would like to express my feelings about the video. I watch the video and I take note when a lady says that she feels bad the instant she walks past the average door.

I do not know what i feel at this moment, but the moment when the women start walking through the beautiful door, my eyes begin to swell with tears of joy for them.

I feel a smile come to my face and my heart lift as I recall the video. I take notice of the mom who pulled her daughter through the door and the lady that pushes her wheelchair friend through the door and also the girl who sort of sneaks in through the "beautiful" door and then flashes this smile like "heh I'm in".

I think that feeling beautiful and feeling special comes with vulnerability. When I build myself up then other people can tear me down, but if I hurt my own feelings and devalue myself no one can devalue me. I sit in the bathroom floor crying as I type this. I feel my throat swell and hard to swallow. My face frowns as I taste my tears.

I would like to thank the original faq contributor for sharing the video. The women looked truly happy as they walk through the door.

Thanks for listening,

Dear Chief,

Thank you for your invitation to continue sharing via FAQ. Thank you for the FAQ responses regarding "to be" and equality. The clarifications remind and help me to feel.

I feel many very painful feelings and go with them. I have a desire to feel instead of medicate, hide or make a commotion.

People are very, very kind to me. People show concern, interest and affection towards me that I have not experience before.

Something is very different. I feel completely vulnerable and ACCOUNTABLE.
I FEEL SURPRISED TO SEE ALL CAPS HERE AND DECIDE TO LEAVE IT.
​
Vulnerable feels soft and receptive to contact. It feels slow. I stay in place when people approach and open to their invitations to connect. I feel dizzy. I stay engaged and like looking at their eyes. The when I make eye contact I feel a cooling, opening sensation in my chest and a lifting bubbly feeling at the base of my brain - inside my scull above the nape of my neck.

Many of the people I engage with make physical contact with me. I receive an embrace, a kiss, a pat on the shoulder, and many other pats, touches and physical gestures of connection without once asking. I am very surprised and feel liked. My children and associates all seem to want to be near me. Some show and tell me outright, others show me.

After a few days of very difficult interactions AND RECEIVING -- THERE IT IS AGAIN, ACCIDENTAL CAPS LOCK! I hug someone that I have struggled with for years and receive their feelings without fear.​

I feel physical feelings and observe thoughts as I remember them. I experience them in the now. I feel my forehead is cool and that there is pressure between my eyes. I consider writing many separate FAQ updates to share the feelings. Considering means having the the feelings in addition to a mental image of me typing and you and other tribe members receiving my updates.

I feel the urge to assemble many thoughts and feelings into a narrative. The feeling of urge is the many sounds, voices, images in my mind and many strong feelings in different parts of my body happening at once and in sequence. I primarily feel my attention being pulled from thought to sensation repeatedly.

This is new. My relationship to the activity is one of observer.
I feel the product of the system - pressure in my forehead, a mild chill in my torso and on my forearms as I inhale deeply.

I acknowledge and thank our beautiful courageous and loving tribe and the individual members.

I appreciate each of you and feel thankful for your support and friendship.

Thank you.

Trust all is well.

Here is the starting point we discussed for the javascript api example.

Link to Demo

Best,

Dear Ed,

The Bali 9 have been in the local news a lot recently.

The is a lot of news coverage and I watch a documentary of the Australian citizens Andrew Chan and Myuran Sukumaran over the last year of so.

See:

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-04-29/andrew-chan-and-myuran-sukumaran-executed/6426654

The men were convicted of drug smuggling in Indonesia.

I also see footage and documentaries that show a side of them as young stupid boys caught up in trouble, but have reformed themselves, having learnt from their mistakes.

There are interviews and documentaries, enough over time, that I get a sense of their personalities and they seem familiar as if I know.

I watch the appeals and the inevitable, unrelenting, unswaying, march towards their death sentence.

They are executed by firing squad on Wednesday morning.

I feel revulsion and sickness. I imagine what it must be like to face the firing squad and I feel the terror and despair they must have felt and I imagine what it must feel like to have bullets rip through my body.

I see some pictures of the Vietnam War.

http://www.bbc.com/news/in-pictures-32483307

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/shared/spl/hi/picture_gallery/05/
in_pictures_the_vietnam_war_/html/6.stm

I find the picture by Eddie Adams's, the image of the South Vietnamese General Nguyen Ngoc Loan killing a Viet Cong officer with a single shot to the head particularly disturbing.

I attend a War memorial earlier this month and I see flowers and photos of strong, healthy young men, dressed as soldiers, who I can only assume who have been lost in Iraq or Afganistan.

I can't shake this sick feeling of waste and despair and sadness. I want to throw up.

Ed, I realise you must have been a young man at the time of the Vietnam war.

I wonder how you felt at this time and how you feel the war affected you?

I wonder if you have any wisdom you can share.

I also wonder how you feel about the current war on terror and Islamic State.

Take care

Best wishes.

More on Beautiful and Average

Ed,

I wonder if the person who sent the link on women and their self-image is a man or a woman.

I wonder why you do not ask them what their feelings are about the video. I wonder why you do not share your feelings about it.

I feel vulnerable about this very explicit description of the struggle that I have felt, and sometimes still feel, regarding my self-image. I have not yet become completely able to embrace vulnerability. Have you?

I want you to talk about your feelings and I want the person who sent the link to talk about their feelings.

The idea of a bunch of men sitting around watching women expose their feelings bothers me.

How have you earned the right to do that? What does it mean that you even want to do that?

I was trained, by my father who I adored, not to get a swelled head by thinking too highly of myself.

I know that was a rock that he used himself, and I have used it for many years.

No more.

We started drumming, and then Ed, taught a new methodology or how to ask for things. and ask the other party for commitment. very powerful.

Starting with the first client, brought up the personal issue he wanted to work and bothered him the results he was having.

In this process i was surprised to see that not only the behaviors you learned (rocks) were from family but also from other characters outside the family as coaches and people we admired.

The client development various forms with a very high intensity. Then he went to each of the Tribe members informing his commitment to work on the issue.

We proceeded to perform the role play with family members and externals, the rocks ( learned behaviors) he returned to each of the people who donated thanking and saying that he did not need it anymore.

The second client reports the problem he wants to work and begins to perform various forms remembering and feeling the feeling. At the beginning it seems that it was hard to remember any similar event in the past that will take that feeling, until he can recall one.

The manager of the process start the role play and the client achieve aha.

It's good to be in the Tribe and learn from each other.

Thanks to all members of the Tribe for making this possible.

Thanks for posting the great link on self-image for women. As I watch it I smile and notice a feeling of lightness in my chest. I feel glad that this trend (acceptance of our bodies as they are) seems to be growing.

I wonder what, if any, comparable insecurity exists for males. I wonder what the video clips of men passing through those two doors might look like. I wonder if the relevant doors for men would say something different than "Beautiful" and "Average".

Since you and presumably most of your readers are men, I wonder what labels you might put on the doors to illustrate a self-image struggle for men.

Of course, there is always the possibility that many men would either not notice the labels over the doors or assume it had nothing to do with them and not give it a second thought!

That actually sounds kind of refreshing to me.

Hi Ed,

I enter this meeting with a strange sense of actually being present. The previous meeting was a big one – I'm still feeling the impact of the process and practicing my new proactive behavior.

Before the meeting I print out the Rocks Process Flow Diagram (from FAQ) and review it. Up to this point I've been like a passenger in a car, getting to the destination without really having to pay attention to the directions. I have my chart and make notes as we progress.

During the first process the client says that he is apprehensive about getting into it. Chief integrates a "Go-around-the-room" step which fits [in before] "Freeze" and "Locate Incident" and "Role Play to Confirm Incident".

This is an experimental step that we have used one time before in the PR tribe. Its purpose is to test for willingness – but for real test – the client has to prove to each member that he is willing to feel the feeling and do the work.

It fits nicely in this situation because the client's issue is around trying and failing. Chief notes that we could quickly get into a codependent process when working on a problem like this - the client might use process to fail again and blame tribe.

The client is very vulnerable and brave during this step - he is already deep in his emotions. As he goes around the circle proving willingness he appears to really grasp that he could be setting himself up to fail, even in Tribe, and I can see the realizations coming thick and fast.

I latch onto a comment he makes about pumping himself up just so he can fall even further, we get into exploring this – shouting and pumping each other up – I can see in his eyes that he gets it and is willing.

Each member brings a slightly different angle to the willingness test and by the end we have surrounded the issue together – no doubt is left around willingness and the path is clear to move forward without any codependence.

We don't need a lot of characters for the role play, I observe and take notes. The Tribe gets into it – checking for accuracy. We discover that a childhood hero is missing - the Governator!

Now I have to get in on this. I spring out of my seat and start flexing! The Arnold part is abstract – he serves as a role model for the client as a child, and seems to be a positive influence – although I also sense a fakeness to the character – I bring this fakeness with a lot of posing and saying things like you don't really have to work out that much, just pretend like you do – put on a show and people will believe you are busy and working hard. I really get into this, and I'm not sure this is even about the client anymore because this is really resonating with me. I donate and am fore-given the pump-yourself-up rock. The client clearly has a handle on this one and I temper my resistance to taking the rock back.

After break Chief asks who wants to work. One Tribe member says that he wants to get into it. He has an issue with blanking out and putting on big positions later in the day only to watch volatility dry up and give back profits that he has been building up in the morning.

He gets into some of the forms – gets stuck a couple of times – then finds one that goes somewhere. Chief once again integrates the go-around-the-room step – but this time it has a more straight forward willingness tack. I check to see if the feeling that is coming up in the client's childhood memory is a match for the feeling he has when taking on the big positions. He says that he doesn't know. It occurs to me that maybe it isn't important and go with it - the client clearly wants to work.

Next is "Role Play to Confirm Incident." Chief asks who wants to run process; I'm taking notes and decline. The client from the previous rocks process takes up the role. I'm impressed that he is able to take this on when he must still be feeling pretty raw. I try to help out process, but feel more like I get in the way then actually help.

This feels familiar to me and I notice a pattern where I won't trust myself to take responsibility for running the process, but I'm really happy to 'help' and interject my opinion. This is a good trick – I can influence results without taking responsibility for outcomes. But it doesn't feel right and I'm on to it pretty quickly. I am able to stop helping so much and get out of the way. I note my progress.

The client is getting into it and I can tell he is tortured with his mind racing, I've never known anyone to suffer from this, but it seems like an amped up version of can't switch off thoughts - which I can relate to. Process continues and I take responsibility to donate the Heart Rock. I feel a lot of emotions during this step and struggle to stay present.

During check out I ask about techniques for dealing with a racing mind, and get great suggestions from my Tribe. Meditation – Just staying with it and watching the show – Heavy blanket – Wife laying on top of you – Swimming underwater.

Since I'm working on staying present with my feelings later that night I just stay with myself as I fall asleep and watch the show. It's calming and a great way to fall asleep instead of my usual desperate attempts at ignoring my feelings and actively trying to blank them out. I still feel the ramifications of this process every night falling asleep - I just watch the show. I hope that process brings the client some peace and thank him again for doing the work so I could examine my racing mind.

The show that night:

Endless rows of shimmering two dimensional Javanese dancers move to a cacophony of a hundred pop music ear worms played on middle eastern instruments.

Thank you,

Apr 29, 2015

Beautiful or Average

Ed,

You might like this commercial about self image.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7DdM-4siaQw

The meeting starts on time.

Drumming feels good. The Tribe is in sync and already feels cohesive.

I feel happy to see everyone. I also feel sad, unstable and overcommitted.

I have internal dialogue overwhelming me from different points of view. All are relevant and meaningful on their own. All at once they are loud and frenetic.

We check in.

The first check in shares feelings of sadness, being out of control, overwhelmed by one thing after another and the worry about the impact he is having on his family. I feel very, very sad. I relate to his check in and feel embarrassed and judgmental about the validity of my own feelings. My mind starts to race. I find that it is already my turn to check in. I give a long recap of the past few weeks that has a lot of confusing detail and masks the underlying feelings. Chief asks me to wrap it up and tells me that is boring and devoid of feelings.

I feel squashed and belittled. I also feel relief and agreement as the intension of the message sinks in and becomes clear.

After a few moments I am surprised that I don't feel insulted. I feel calm. I feel a bit foolish and realize I set myself up.

I'm ready to support process.

The first tribe member to check in is the first hot seat for a rocks process that addresses feelings of don't want to do it and disappoint others.

We break after the successful conclusion of the rocks process.

Later, the hot seat from the first process serves as process manager for my process.

I demonstrate willingness to my Tribe and ask for their help. I know that in order to receive their support I have to be willing to feel my feelings. It's really difficult to articulate what's happening. I feel shaky and overwhelmed with feelings and movement inside.

It hurts.

I ask each tribe member to help me.
I feel vulnerable and exposed and fragile.
It feels like a raging swirling energy in my chest, abdomen and forehead. It's hot and turbulent. I don't describe the feelings. I use words like terrified and unsure.

One by one I am able to connect with and receive the support of each tribe member.

I surrender to the process and try to find a form.
I struggle and squeeze and shift and tense my legs.
I feel pain and exertion.
I'm struggling to latch on to a pre-conceived idea of what the issue is.
Many thoughts, memories and ideas compete for my attention.
None of them are the feeling.
I compress my head from the sides.
I rock forward.​
I go further into the form.
I don't know what I'm doing.
I have no thought.

I hear myself answering questions.

I open my eyes and feel as though I have been crying.

I feel disoriented even though I know where I am and that I am safe.

PM and the rest of the tribe have helped me to identify a scenario from my childhood.

A Tribe member volunteers to be my Aunt.

We begin role-play.

I rock back and fourth in bed on my knees and elbows with my head between my hands. My rocking continues for a long time. The bed hits the wall over and over again and makes noise each time. It's rhythmic and droning. Rock, bang, rock, bang. Rock, bang...

My aunt silently enters the room and compresses me. She pulls my legs out from under me and presses down on my back to flatten me out.

Her arrival and the onset of the pressure is immediate but the compression is slow, heavy and sedate. I can hear her breathing into the effort. She exhales as she presses down.

I feel caught, squashed and it's hard to breathe.

I groan as I exhale and I'm empty.

"There"

The weight lifts and only a hand remains on my back for a moment.
I feel relief and comfort.
I feel calm.
I want the hand to stay.
She leaves the room.

Eventually I repeat the rocking motion and the cycle continues once or twice more.

The Tribe initially struggles to identify the rock donor.
I'm quiet. I don't know how to help figure it out. I trust the Tribe to guide my process. I feel like curling up and rocking even more. I feel shaky and turbulent inside. I feel stunned, flat and without feelings on the outside.

I remember cutting myself to feel and be in control of a feeling. I don't tell the story. I just feel the feeling. The memory passes.

I stay in the now and trust that someone will know what to do.
Chief observes that my aunt may be the rock donor.
We all agree that it feels right.

I receive the "make a commotion" rock. I learn that I can be frenetic and agitated. If I create enough chaos, someone will come in to squash me and stop the movement. The turbulence will become still. I will feel temporarily calm and stabilized. Flat.

We re-enact the scene again. This time I notice that I feel relief as the compression lightens and the hand remains. I feel loved and safe. I want more of this feeling. I feel sad and ashamed to obtain the feeling this way.

I feel sad and afraid knowing that I will let go of the rock and afraid I won't feel safe again.

I linger in the flat position for a while after the hand has lifted and her presence is gone. I feel the call of the cycle and know it's time to move on.
I decide I want something different for my life and for my children.

I forgive the rock to my aunt. As I forgive it, I am flooded with memories of my behavior and the gut-crushing outcomes that resulted. I share feelings about my behavior and ask show she feels. She tells me and I believe it is really how she feels.

I feel that I trust her and realize how this pattern fits with the results I create throughout my life.

I ask for her to put her hand on my back, she does and I feel loved and a calm inner sense of self worth and stability.

We check out from the process. I thank each tribe member and release the tribe member from the role of my aunt.

On the final checkout I feel light and hopeful. ​

As we mingle after the meeting I feel connection with the Tribe members. Many offer me a reassuring hand on the back.

The meeting ends on a happy note for me. I feel free of a heavy shell. I feel the energy of the touch and I am enlivened by the realization that I can ask for what I want. Even just accepting what I want seems to bring it. I feel awake and calm.

I think about this relationship and the many ways I have used this rock in my life. I see that I inhabit a system that is largely based on using this rock. It has even evolved over the years from commotion rock to crisis rock.

I return home from Puerto Rico to a family crisis.

A major incident unfolds that has major ramifications for my life and for my children.

The crisis presents all the feelings I am afraid to feel at once. I see it is directly related to having habitually used the crisis rock.

I start using heart rock immediately.
My life is already very, very different.

I see things differently and my role in the foundation for the crisis.

Having heart rock and this process fresh in my mind is essential as I experience chaotic results that are years in the making.

I'm in tremendous pain and there is a lot of upheaval.

I share my feelings as I navigate with no map.

I feel thankful for Tribe. I feel in awe of the "just in time" timing of this process.
I know that using Heart Rock will lead to an eventual resolution and that things will improve the more I use it.

I would like to acknowledge my tribe for their support and the gift of this last rocks process.

PR Tribe Report - Role of Intention

Ed,

Tribe starts on time. I notice that the intention to start each tribe meeting on time with all members present is clear. This is a good lesson for me, there are traffic jams and flight delays and all kinds of excuses, and still the intention = result.

Chief introduces a new element in Tribe relations. When someone wants something from someone, he asks for it directly, and inquires if the other member is willing. Tribe is intimacy centric, accommodating other Tribe members' requests is encouraged. This is a valuable lesson for me, in my life and my relationships I can ask for the things I want instead of hoping the other person will read my mind or guess. Also I recognize that I want to accommodate my friends desires and encourage them to tell me what they want.

The first hot seat has an issue with stress in the family and disappointment with trading results, making progress getting out of a long drawdown and then watching the progress recede. Chief is managing this process and asks client to convince each tribe member of his willingness to do the work. Qualifying the client is becoming an integral part of rocks process in our tribe.

The client recalls an incident in childhood where he is encouraged to run a foot race with a friend. The friend is faster and more athletic; he does not want to race and does anyway. We discover he had gotten 3 rocks from this experience 1) get all pumped up 2) Just go along 3) Go through the motions, but don't bother giving it your all, you'll fail anyhow.

The client Fore-Gives the rocks. The Rock donors make him really work, they do not take back the rocks until client convinces them that he is really willing to make a change; that he really wants the change. The Process manager donates the Heart Rock, and we role play the childhood race incident implementing the heart rock. The client learns and new techniques such as decline to participate in a hopeless contest and, when he does participate give it everything. These are lessons I intend to implement in my life.

The second hot seat has an issue with taking big positions that are only rarely profitable. Client gets into form, and recalls rocking back and forth in the crib making noise. When he makes noise he gets attention from his caretaker who quiets him by making him lie flat, then putting her hand on his back. He recognizes his tendency to get attention by creating drama in his trading account, he intends to ask for attention and a pat(hand) on the back when he needs them.

I reflect on my experiences in tribe, and how my life is enhanced through tribe, and tribal processes. The first thing I notice is that women respond to me differently. Before my participation in San Juan Trading Tribe, I found it easy to meet women, and difficult to get to the second or third date. Women seem to respond well to intimacy centric, feelings focused interactions; WHO KNEW!!! I also notice that I am interested in what women, and people generally are thinking and feeling. I find myself enjoying intimacy (sharing feelings without judgement) for its own sake, as a goal itself.

Tribe has helped me to identify recurring drama and see how I am participating, precipitating, and often scripting or controlling the dramas. I find myself judging others much less, after all in many cases I am writing the script of the drama, so if anyone should be blamed, it's me.

Tribe has helped me understand the role of intention in my life; the importance of keeping agreements with others and agreements with myself. I know that Intention = Result, also Result = Intention. I notice that when there is a result I do not want to discover that I intended, I can take steps to eliminate or reduce the probability of it occurring. ( for example, I do not want to watch this profitable trade turn into a big loss, if it did I would know that is my intention, therefor I will place a protective stop)

I am grateful to Ed for his work developing Trading Tribe Process, for his work as Chief of San Juan Tribe, and to my Tribe members, who are each super awesome. I am grateful for a better understanding of myself, my feeling and how I interact with other people and their feelings. I am grateful for the opportunity to see my role in my dramas, and for the understanding that feelings are my friends, especially the uncomfortable ones.

PR Tribe Meeting Report - A Promising Start

Dear Ed,

During the Tribe I am on the hot seat. I am upset about a lot of things happening in my life; issues with running two businesses, tax issues, employee issues, constant flow of new customer's inquiries, as well as the ups and downs of trading. I am experiencing a constant stressed state. I feel very busy and get many tasks done every day but it never feels like enough for peace of mind or to be able to smile. The way I live my life feels stressful. I dislike this. I dislike that I can see that I affect other people close to me as well and passing on this stressful state.

During the hot seat the Tribe encourages me to get into the forms. I get into it and while in forms I repeat saying something like "I can't do it." At first I can't make the connections but eventually a picture from my childhood comes up. My dad is forcing me to have a friendly running race with my neighbor. I don't want to race the neighbor as he is very athletic and I am not. I am sure to lose, yet my father has his way. We race, with me not really trying hard – running just enough to lose and to feel like a loser afterwards.

The way I understand this is playing this out in my life is that I pretend a good race or not really trying to win. I also over promise, get myself pumped up about things and not work as hard, only to experience disappointment in the end. I also notice that for me not working hard doesn't mean to sit around on couch watching TV. I am very busy most of the time, feels like all the time, waking up early in the mornings and working on most of the weekends. Even if I stop and just sit down to hang out with my kids, my mind keeps on going thinking about the next move and task and what the market will do. Yet looking at myself from the outside through very honest lenses, I notice my ineffectiveness. Others seeing the being busy part is what is important for me. Not being effective and winning but being busy and losing. I have to admit, what a s--tty formula to live one's life by.

During the rock process, the tribe helps me figure out more proactive responses: do not let others force you into races you don't want to race, if you want to win research the techniques from winners, drop this over promise to disappoint pattern. These all centered around the basics of sharing feelings, establishing rapport, communicating clearly and honestly.

I come home from Tribe on Friday night and by Monday night I feel overwhelmed and stressed by my life like never before. I feel like I can't take a breather from this race called life. I am in it, signed up, and there is no way to take a break from this one. Things keep coming up, more accounting issues, more employee issues, more customer issues, forms to fill out, contracts to prepare, trading drawdown is getting deeper.

I am sitting here in the tranches of my life's battlefield overwhelmed by all of the tasks and decisions I need to make. I am not sure where it all goes or how I am going to handle it, yet for once I do not feel like promising you anything, nor do I feel all pumped up to get the job done.

I feel the desire to be kind and supportive to people around me and to grow my businesses, one task at a time, one decision at a time, towards a more effectiveness, a better peace of mind. To make it a race I can actually be proud of and actually trying to win it.

Regards,

At our last meeting I arrive preoccupied with a number of feelings and a lot of mental chatter.

We drum and check in.

The first Tribe member's check in feels very intense and emotional. Sadness and an out of control feeling are what I feel as he speaks.

The first Tribe member is the first client on the hot seat for rocks process. Tribe members relentlessly check for willingness. One Tribe member is especially attuned to his process of pumping himself up just to let himself and others down.

Rocks process and role play model a time from hot seat's childhood when hot seat's father initiates a running race between hot seat and a neighbor. Hot seat and the father both know that hot seat will not win. Hot seat feels bad and does not want to race but he does anyway. He pumps him self up, gives it a shot but is really going through the motions only. He feels like he lets his father down when he loses.

Hot seat receives the "over promise, under deliver" rock from his dad. He receives the "just go along with it" rock from his mother. He receives the "pump up" rock from an imaginary friend and role model based on a famous athlete/persona he admires.

Role play is vigorous and all participants are very engaged.

Everyone in the Tribe serves and participates.

When the time comes to forgive rocks, there is some confusion about which (physical) rocks were donated by which rock donors.

Rock donors are very reluctant to have rocks forgiven to them. The fore-giving process is emotional and the good intensions of some of the rocks are communicated clearly by the rock donors.

Hot seat receives heart rock and revisits the scenario and shares his feelings. He is able to establish rapport and intimacy centric relating. Hot seat is able to be honest about what he wants and how he feels.

There is a feeling of levity after the process.

Everyone seems to be smiling.

Thank you.

Dear Ed,

I feel a very heavy heart and a heavy head following a few events.

I assist a family where in the family unit has 3 people.

A child who is suffering from a condition where the childs brain is not developing and doctors have suggested a maximum life term of 6 months, and the condition is uncureable and doctors only treat the symptoms. She is now 3 years old. The child gets seizures each day.

The mother of the child who had to leave her job to care for the child full time since the last 3 years.

The husband was immidiately admitted to undergo an emergency operation due to tissue growth in the abdomen. I see their state of not having enough money, care for both child and husband.

The husband happens to go to the hospital on friday and is operated on Saturday and is presently in the ICU as of today.

I get an email from my sibling who tells me that my brother is suffering from Skitzophinia and located in another state. I talk to my wife about it. My wife is pregnant, and doesn't get along with my family.

My wife provides me a choice of either walking away from marriage and visiting my brother or just stay.

My wife has undergone 3 miscarriages and says that she does not want any further stress from me.

I feel torn apart with no clue on what to do. I feel really horrible of not being able to do anything or reach any conclusion and freeze. I shed a tear ot so remembering my brother as normal and reflecting on some our experiences together. on the other hand I think of my wife and pray that god (if exists) give her the wisdom to see the situation and understand to let me go see my brother without these controls.

I find myself in a terrible state of mind thiking my brother helped me whilst I was a student and this may be my turn to do something for him. I really feel lost and shaken,

regards

By observing myself, I notice that the act of watching the hour on a clock or a watch might sometimes heal a feeling of emergency without dealing with the underlying situation. And when we lose this feeling we miss motivation to act.

Now, I feel better the usefulness of those watches on FAQ full of the inscriptions "now" in place of the habitual figures.

I haven't been following the site for some time as I've added to the essential tribe (see attached).

Govopoly looks to be good work. I ordered the book. I do notice that I'm only able to access 1/5 (tool making lab) models from either a MAC or Windows. The rest are throwing errors (ie. null pointer exception, etc.). I suspect the issue is related to higher security in the new java updates (e.g. med security no longer available). I'd like to play with them, if you have time please fix.

Best to you in Texas.

Essential

Dear Chief,

Another great tribe meeting. I never know what to expect when the drumming starts. I learn and enjoy going with the flow.

We have two rocks processes.

In the first process, I role play the dad who encourages and sets up a race between his son and a friend. The dad knows his son will lose the race. The dad smokes and drinks. My dad smokes and he tries to hide it from me and my siblings while growing up. Even now. this game continues. I really got into the role. I do not like the feeling of encouraging a race I know my son will lose. I feel disappointment in myself, even bad. I smoke and drink to make the feeling go away. It seems to help at the moment and it brings up feelings of self-judgment. I really want something different for my son and I have no idea how to encourage or delivery it. After heart rock implementation, I like seeing him play soccer. He looks happy and he is having fun. I want to join him and his friend.

In the second process, I role play Nancy the caretaker. Although Nancy is well liked, she flattens out and holds down the young boy in bed because he is making noise while rocking back and forth. For some reason, the young boy likes this rocking motion and making noise rather than going to sleep. Although I like taking care of him, this annoys me. I feel he is doing this just to get attention. After forcefully giving him the attention he wants, I feel bad myself. I just want some time and space to myself. After heart rock implementation, I find it easy to give him the simple back rub he asks for. I feel good myself with this simple gesture.

I notice lots of improvement in my personal life. My relationship with my wife continues to get close. We enjoy doing simple things together rather than always "dividing and conquering". I find my relationship with my parents improving and I find myself easily re-connecting with my siblings. I find myself "unclogging" in many areas of my life, making many new connections with people in my life, open to and engaging in new thoughts, feelings, possibilities and experiences.

I am grateful to you Chief and to tribe members for the experience.

Hope you are doing well. I read this article recently and thought about you. I have also noticed that I do better when we set process oriented goals vs results oriented goals.

http://www.inc.com/jeff-haden/an-nearly-foolproof-way-to-achieve-every-goal-you-set-wed.html

Another thing that I have noticed since the beginning of the year is that when I put in the stops it provides such a peace of mind. Before I always had mental stops and I would get nervous when the price would reach near the stop. Invariably I will get out before the price even hit my mental stop point. The price I would get out at would usually be near the low of the price and then to my dismay the price would go up. At the beginning of this year I let go of my fear and put the stop in - none of them has been hit yet. The most important effect was I could sleep well at night. It literally has had the opposite effect on my emotions than I thought.

Thanks for all you answers in the Tribe - it helps people like [me] keep going.

Kind Regards

I am working on a design and feel tired. I stand up and start to toss the heart rock I carry in my pocket. I throw it high to reach the high ceiling and then catch it. I do it again and I again until it falls on the stone floor. I hear a sound but don't see the pieces. It doesn't sound broken heart. But I can't find it anymore.

I buy a jar of heart rock a year ago and yesterday I find that I am almost running out. I feel glad I keep up the Tribe meetings. I want to keep it up more. I don't see you for a while and I start feel missing you.

The company I work before has a new opening which involves working with more people instead of staying in an office. I find that it interests me and want to meet them next week.

Thanks,

I write to say thank you for posting charts and for your sharing your thoughts. Its is helpful, and the spirit of your giving is noticed, acknowledged if your will, and appreciated.

Best,

Regards,

It has been said for quite some time that paper is dead now -
this one is great and only 39 seconds long, so do watch it all...

http://www.youtube.com/embed/V_gOZDWQj3Q?rel=0

I participate in Global Holotropic Breathwork Day on Sat. April 18th.

My experience, as in the past, is "OK" but muted in my judgement. No "Fantastic Journey".

The following Monday & Tuesday I'm under a lot of pressure at work and I get upset & angry.

Since I am working my way through "A Course in Miracles", I rely on Daily Lessons 22 & 23: "What I see is a form of vengeance" & "I can escape from (my angry) world by giving up attack thoughts" to dissolve my anger much faster than usual.

I focus on the task at hand & the next step.

Things work out surprisingly well.

A seemingly formidable task is dispatched in minutes.

Another takes a few hours and is done.

Back-to-back 12-hour days take care of the lion's share of things and I'm sitting here Weds. AM amazed at how well things are going.

Though I love your rich description of feeling freedom without saying "I am free", wouldn't another possibility allow me to say, "I feel free" rather than "I am free"? Just in case I desire a quick (yes, lazy) way to say it without the B-word?

I offer you and my fellow workshop participants my 6-month follow-up:

I slip into the azure ocean, my skin blissfully receiving the water's caresses like those of an attentive and caring lover. My body undulates beneath the waves and feels the gentle currents moving it this way and that. The intensity of the colors I see - the reds, the violets, the brilliant yellows - penetrates my eyes and courses like electricity through my body. I cannot recall ever feeling this alive.

My journey continues on from the workshop through painful self-discovery, frightening aloneness and joyous Breathwork. I meet amazing people as well as grieving and loving those who no longer stand beside me. I simultaneously release my need for others and allow them to move closer to me, and me to them.

My specific vision in the workshop, to pursue my dream of making music and to share it in the company of others, remains a work in progress and one that I expect to continue "in progress" for the rest of my life. I feel joyful as I play with others; fear fades quickly.

I am.

Something Fishy Here

www.mermaidmelissa.com

I feel the great importance of TTP concept INTENTION=RESULT to get more success on what we do. I feel more my presence or my absence on every system I live in the now whatever my wish is.

How can I teach to my young child of 3 years old this important concept?? I believe that the sooner children integrate this concept the better they are responsible in life.

Thank you.

I would like to thank your for sharing your knowledge about trading and trend following.

With the age of 16 i thought about becoming a trader. Know 20 years later working in the Motorsport area I discovered stocks again and especially trend following and hope to get into it as depp as possible.

Because of my job time to learn and time to trade is limited as you could imagine but i try to read and learn as much as possible.

If i had discovered you and your way of trading during my time at the university i would have asked you for a Job:).

All the best from [Country]

Yours faithfully

Greetings!

Could you please clarify how ommitting the verb "to be" improves upon SVOP? For example, I'm not sure if I can see any material improvement by changing
(a) "I am free" into
(b) "I have freedom".

If anything, (a) sounds more emphatically present in the evolving moment of now, whilst (b) sounds more disembodied, somehow.

I thank you for your help and guidance.

Your student.