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Principles
for Tribal Relationships
Last Update: 2016-July-07
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Maintain Rapport Bring yourself into heart-to-heart, intimacy-centric communion with your partner. Repeat back what you hear. Thank your partner for sharing his/her feelings. Acknowledge the connection (the relationship). Receive the content (what your partner says) without reacting. Language Use SVOp-b Grammar (Subject; Verb; Object; present tense; avoid all forms of the verb, “to be.”) This keeps your communication simple and in the now, favoring intimacy-centric relating. Clarity Tell the truth about yourself and about what you want. Make clear agreements and then keep them - including showing up on time. Feelings All feelings have positive intentions. Share feelings and Wonder rather than demands. Try saying “I feel hungry (a feeling) and I wonder (a feeling) if you can help me get some food,” rather than the more demanding, “What's for dinner?” Conflict People attract their healing partners. When your feel upset with your partner, consider the opportunity to grow. Turn toward your partner when he/she makes a bid for attention. Avoid Blame, Judgment, Complaints and Proclamations. These break rapport and establish control-centric relating. Attitude Radiate optimism and see the best in others. Dynamics Ask for What You Want. Do whatever your partner asks you to do. This may bring up important issues that you and your partner can utilize for personal growth. Core Compatibility Similar core Values - family; spirituality; ethics Emotional Maturity - impulse control; stress management Partner Appreciation - ongoing demonstration of affection Conflict Management - sharing feelings and turn-toward listening Trustworthy - loyalty and keeping agreements |